Beep!

I hope Upchuck decides to celebrate National Inane Answering Message Day again this year, because his previous entries, as recorded in The Daria Diaries, were classics:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

On a less amusing note, it was on this day in 2011 (the year after the Ruttheimer Group took over the world) that "Daria" made a guest appearance on Robot Chicken. While I feel obligated to mention it as being relevant to the fandom, the less said about it the better.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (parts 3 and 4): "For what felt like the tenth time, Dylan checked the room number against the one written on the back of the photograph." (Part 4)


• A Different Morgendorffer, A Different Sloane, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "It was stormy in Lawndale. Two teenage girls were braving the elements as they climbed up the Big Strawberry."


• Parting Gift, by Rémi (part 1): "Of all the persons that Jane Lane could have expected to see at her front door that evening, Quinn Morgendorffer was probably the last."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 21): "The party at the First-class dining hall of that night had been the very best of the journey so far."