I Think She Might Die of Dysentery

Helen is ready to set off for the wild and untamed unknown for Pioneer Day, but I hope she packed her cell phone. I don't think she'll get far with a chicken and a single wheel, after all. At the very least she'll want a few packages of frozen lasagna to eat along the way.

I hope Quinn and Daria find time to celebrate Cousins Day, either by refusing to acknowledge each other as sisters or reaching out to Erin to give her some much-needed support. Maybe they can invite her to watch Gone With the Wind with them!

Eleven years ago today, CollegeHumor posted their "Daria: High School Reunion" trailer for a hypothetical live-action Daria movie. I'm still sad that it wasn't real, but it was fun to watch!

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 26): "As it turned out, both the Reverent and Maggie were useless with computers; though they were not unknown at Tíra, the Reverent’s preferences had always leaned towards more ancient methods of recording and retrieving knowledge, and Maggie as a humble kitchen maid had never been granted access."


• The Future Involves Some Internet Drama and Lawsuits (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by shiva (COMPLETE!): "'This is your favorite lawyer, Jodie Mackenze otherwise known on the internet as the LegalCynic!'"


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 39): "It took several weeks, but Daria thought she was beginning to adjust to the fact that she was a witch."


• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 2): "'Come on, Daria, I can't keep the Sloanes waiting,' Helen calls from the foyer."


• Mega Mall Mega Problems, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn?' Xavier asked. 'Yes?' Quinn asked. 'You think your sister and Brittany...?' 'Maybe,' Quinn answered with a giggle. 'It’ll be fine.'"


• Prehistoric Giant Dragonflies (Remix), by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The skirt, Genevieve decided, was not her. She was not a skirt person, and this one in particular made her realize just how off the wrong length could actually look."


• Summer's Here, Daria!, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Jane: (through her perspective, a camera hanging around her neck, bobbing against her chest as she walks, looking down at her boots, entering Lawndale)"


• Tomorrow Never Dyes (Remix), by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The island was fantastic, just as Trent and Qiana had promised."

Helen, You Might Want To At Least Get a Covered Wagon!

Helen's all set for Pioneer Day, or at least she would be if the pioneers set off with a single wheel and a chicken. Perhaps she should talk to the Dewitt-Clinton family and get advice? On second thought, better not. Talking to them is never a good idea.

I hope Quinn wishes Daria a happy Cousins Day, and while she's at it she could give Erin a call. Poor girl probably needs some cheering up, considering who she's married to.

Finally, it was on this day in 2013 that CollegeHumor released a fake Daria movie trailer that made all of fandom wish it was a real movie. Really, the whole thing was spot-on! You can watch it here.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Tony Bennett.

Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Erin

Today for some reason is also Cousins Day, which I don't think Daria and Quinn celebrate given what they are stuck with for a cousin. Poor Erin. Hmm, guess redheads run in the family. Cool.

It is also the National Day of the Cowboy, such as Travis the Singing Hitchhiker at right. Plenty of reasons to party today with your Daria fan friends. Go and do.

"I Don't" Did It!

One of the best of all Daria episodes, "I Don't," aired twelve years ago today. We get to meet Amy Barksdale, but enough about her.

What about Daria's cousin Erin? Could she be rehabilitated in fanfiction as anything other than a ditz? Discuss below in Comments. More soon.

NO0oZ!

• The Magnificent Kara Wild has updated DVDaria!
• Respite has discovered a new Daria fanfiction site at ArchiveOfOurOwn. Enjoy! (I do need to update the links here soon, some of them need fixin'.)
• NEW! Advice from tafka appears on PPMB on how to post an artwork in progress.
  

FF.net

• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (Part 2): "We won't talk about it," said Helen to Daria. "You do know about contraception, though?" "I'm 22." "Well, when a woman and a man love each other very much—" "Wow, look at the time, gotta go out!"
• The Passing of a Loyal Friend, by Johnny Style (COMPLETE!): The bodyguard simply pushed her charge to the ground and then stood in the path of the incoming gunfire. The other bodyguards quickly identified where the gunfire was coming from and returned fire. The woman who had stepped in the way of the incoming bullets also tried to draw her side arm. However she felt something wrong and when she drew her hand away she saw it was covered in blood. Her own blood, it seemed she must have taken a bullet or maybe two. "Britt?" asked her terrified charge. "Just stay down Jodie," the bodyguard said as she slumped to the ground. "Don't worry I'm sure the others will..."
• [Links to stories already mentioned here have been placed with those stories.]

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett’s Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 17): Tents, makeshift shelters built out of plywood and tin scraps, and assorted vehicles of all shapes and sizes were set up haphazardly amongst the homes and buildings that made up Taylorsville. “I didn’t think that there’d be that many people here,” Scarlett said, her voice reflecting her awe. George looked at the teen. “There’s at least two million people who have been displaced from eastern Maryland and Delaware alone. That’s a lot of people to absorb... and move on out.”
• Daria: Hunter—Infectious (continued): Daria fired again, but once more her shot went wide, that time missing completely. The creatures closed in too quickly for a third shot, so she dropped her gun completely and made the move to unsheathe her right blade while slashing with the left. One of the creatures caught the edge across the face and spun off to the side, leaving Daria open to strike at the other. Her right fist came up and she realized too late that there wasn't a blade sitting over it.
• Daria: The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 1): Jane glanced down at Anne, still sleeping peacefully. "Looks like I have to get ready to pack some things. We are going to visit Grandma Amanda and Uncle Trent for a few days." Jane went into her bedroom to grab some luggage. As she packs, she stares at a photo on her nightstand. It was a picture of Anne, Tom and herself taken eight months ago, when they were happy. When they were still... Jane shook her head.
• Daria: The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 2): After some time to gather her wits about her, Daria decided to drive around to see how much things had changed. She frowned when that the pizza parlor she and Jane had hung out at had been turned into a bland chain restaurant. Yet another small business gone to hell in a handbasket. She made a mental note for her next editorial.
• NEW! Daria—The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 3): Daria and Allen found a place near the pharmacy. Damn, don't this bring back bad memories. She closed her eyes to block the visions going through her head. Allen stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him and smiled. Allen saw her parents and waved. They returned the gesture before heading to sit with the Griffins. Their feud ended years ago with Sandi's overdose. That event led Quinn to become the woman she was today: wife, mother, soldier... currently six months into a year long tour of Iraq. Once she returned home, her time with the Army would be over. She had decided not to reenlist and to go back to college. Daria stood quietly and wished for her sister's safe return.
  
• The Dragon's Kiss, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): The night air was crisp as Mack exited his vehicle. He grabbed a duffle bag out of his back seat and made his way to the house. He knocked on the door. A leather clad figure opened the door and directed him inside. The only noise he heard from behind him was the clicking of the lock. He felt a gloved hand run through his hair. He reached around to pull her in front of him. After an intense kiss, they broke apart. [EYE-BLEACH WARNING!]
• Dying on the Inside, by Minx (COMPLETE!): Sleep. That’s all I wanted, all I needed. Just one night’s sleep, but it’s impossible, that’s when they return: the memories.
• Finn Morgendorffer 36: Brain of the Family, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): The rumor around school was that the teachers wanted a raise. That didn’t surprise Finn in the slightest. In a word, Li was cheap. Cheap as balls. After all, that whole fiasco with the soda cans was because Li spent all their money on bomb-sniffing dogs and other high-tech gizmos that were completely and totally unnecessary. Who would be using a satellite to spy on the school anyway?
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 17): "Still not ready!" he said sharply. His suspicious gaze darted over the room. Daria shrugged into the dinner jacket she'd grabbed. "No-one specified white tie, Mr Vitale," she said, mildly. "Do I need to change?"
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 15): Pulling up a chair, Quinn flipped on the back switch of Daria's Banana computer. Instead of the typical screen saver, Quinn was greeted with a name and password login screen. The name DariaM was already filled out. All Quinn needed was a password. Hmm... what would Daria use as a password? Quinn decided that she'd try the same password that she herself used and typed her first guess. Password: password. Immediately, the login screen was replaced by a picture of an angry looking Daria. In bold letters the caption underneath read: GET LOST, QUINN!!
• Infamy, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): The room hushed as the school board superintendent, Mr. Cartwright, crossed the stage and stood before the podium. He cleared his throat and said, "Under Civilian Exclusion Order 34, issued by Gen. John DeWitt, commander of Military Area 1, your principal, Angela Li, has been relieved of her duties and sent to a War Relocation Camp. Mrs. Bennett will be acting principal until a permanent replacement can be named. Thank you and you may return to your regularly scheduled classes." (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Ohio, by Respite (COMPLETE!): Helen answered just a bit too cheerily. “We’re just so glad to have our girls back safe and sound. I’m so glad your schools came to their senses before all that violence spread to Boston. You’re not taking part in any of that nonsense, are you, Daria? Good. Now, where are your father and Quinn? They really should be home by now.” Daria followed Jane into the kitchen and busied herself with a head of iceberg. “Actually, Mom, I’m—" (FF.net)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): Daria turned the radio on and cranked the volume. An unholy electronic screech filled the car for a moment before a prerecorded voice replaced it. "This is the emergency alert system. The President of the United States has issued an Emergency Action Notification with an attack warning throughout the United States."
• Vincent and the Lovely Light, by Respite (Part 1): “Why are we doing this again?” Daria asked. “Because we’re bored.” “Bored. We’re going to risk our lives, and maybe our sanity, because we’re bored.” “Yup,” Jane answered. “Bored. It’s Springtime, we’ve been cooped up for ages, we’re young, and we need adventure, Daria. Besides, how lucky are we to have a trans-dimensional wormhole in our very own town?” “You couldn’t be like every other teenager and just look for drugs or sex?”