Never Mind the Bollocks!

Today is John Joseph Lydon's 55th birthday! You might know him better as Johnny Rotten, the lead singer of the punk band the Sex Pistols. Kevin is punking it up specifically for the occasion.

This birthdate is particularly relevant to Charles RB's God Save the Esteem series, in which Helen, Jake, Quinn, and about 80% of Lawndale are into the punk scene. If you aren't reading it, then you should. Right now. Or else "Killer" Quinn will headbutt you into next week.

For everyone else, here's the fandom news update:

• You have until 11:59PM (23:59) UTC tonight to vote for the 2010 Daria Fanworks Awards! Hurry!


• Deref has posted some dates for his upcoming Dariacon. Will you be able to go?


• Daria was featured on an episode of Robot Chicken. Fan reactions are mixed at best.


• Erin M.'s fanfic character Judith may be crossing into a new genre!


• Two new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Erin M.'s The Inedible Adventures of Captain QB! and Vukodlak's Jakes Trash Freakout: Esteem Edition.

Leave a (Wacky) Message at the Beep!

Happy National Inane Answering Message Day! Today's the day to take a page from Upchuck's book. No, not Playboy. I'm talking about The Daria Diaries, in which Upchuck puts the following recordings on his father's answering machine:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

His father was not amused. I noticed the world domination plans aren't going so well, though. The Ruttheimer Group was supposed to take over last year, after all. Unless...they did. (Ominous yet feisty music plays.)


Fanfic Update!

• Lots of hilarious ficlets in Roentgen's Iron Chef: Stupid Sexy Daria! thread. Most of them are too short to quote, so go read them now!


• Daria/Dorian 12: Spring Breaks, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'Mom, even if you had told me, I would have made some snarky remark about you were having a flashback moment to your commune days. That night - when I needed someone to help with the pain - you were the one that held me. And just like a good lawyer, you were prepared - despite the obvious need for skepticism. I also know that I wouldn't be anywhere near sane if you, dad, Jane, and Quinn hadn't been there for me. So don't worry about what that bitch in a dress two sizes too small said.'"


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Beast Boy: Speedy delivery for Raven. Raven: (taking the package from him) This smells terrible. Daria: Like a terribly obvious plot development? Raven: (opening it) No just terrible. Oh God! "


• Fugitive Chapter 6: Irish Folk, by Wassersauefer (part 1): "Chester speed up the stair and nearly crashed into wall when he rushed around a corner, then he stopped in front of a door. Said door was white, as white as every wall and door frame in the house, and adorned with Hello Kitty stickers and a door poster from Twilight. 'It's coming from there.' 'At least we know, that this bitch is certainly evil,' Bob mumbled with a sour look at the pale face of Robert Pattinson."


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 34): "The other humans had left for the Palace, after Dr Sloane had told one of his larger vehicles to obey Chair and Daria. Daria Morgendorffer 2 had to hope that President Landon was a force for truth and justice, but still felt obliged to protect her AI allies. Her ad hoc plan was to get them the heck out of Dodge before the looming invasion, and to hope that Chair then could work with her to get some response out of her 'extra brain.'"


• Ghost Girl Chapter 4, by Pumpkin Panic (part 7): "Jane looked to the two girls still hugging eacother and crying, 'Why don't you two poof like they did?' 'I can't go yet! I need to get a message to Brittaney and too my little brother.' Angie sniffed. Brooke looked at them though and Daria knew she was going to make this difficult, 'And I want you to catch that ass hole who killed us!'"


• God Save The Esteem ep19: Shock of the New Kid, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'It's like... you're a square brain and totally uggo too, no offence, and you're good at that, right? That's what you do. And I'm good at what I do, so if someone's better than me...' Quinn looked at Daria with a brief glimpse of fear and confusion, someone who lacked the words. 'Like, what if there was a brain and they were a bigger brain than you and everyone was ignoring your braininess over them? That'd suck, right?'" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Holiday Roadtrip, by Chris Tucker: "The smallest of the three friends had just snaked her way out of the car by way of the window and was standing on the guardrail, balancing herself with a few fingertips on the car roof. Walking along the cylindrical horizontal beam of the rail, she made it past the front of the car and stepped down in front of it. She squatted and eyeballed the two front tires. She stood and pointed to the right-hand tire. Bringing her hand up, she made the classic 'cutthroat' gesture."


• How to Train Your Daria, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Stepping off the rickety wooden ship, Daria hoisted her duffel bag and looked around. The island she had just arrived at was lacking in amenities such as cable and indoor plumbing, but otherwise seemed nice. Jane, Mack, Kevin and Brittany stood beside her, and behind her was Ms. Li, Mr. O'Neill, and Mr. DeMartino. As they walked along the dock, a large man walked up to them and smiled."


• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (part 36): "Christmas Eve morning, Daria woke up to a sight she thought she would never get to see except for on television. Snow - there was actual white flakes falling from the sky on CHRISTMAS EVE. She had always wondered what a White Christmas looked like in person and now here it was. Daria stood there silently, watching the snow as some of the flakes stuck to the window."


• John Lane 48: A Boston We Will Go, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "At long last, Amy parked her car in her driveway and said, 'Home at last, home at last. Thank God almighty, I'm home at last.' Climbing out and grabbing her suitcase, she walked to her apartment. Thinking about the call she promised to make, she thought for a moment and then said, 'Hmm, Mother still owes me a big favor and this might be a good time to aim for two birds with that stone. Or perhaps four.'"


• Just One Date, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Her thoughts drifted from topic to topic until finally they settled on Charles. What to do? She thought to herself. He seems like a nice enough guy, but I don’t know. Is this me being scared of having a boyfriend after that debacle with Ted, or is there something more to this? Am I scared of having to choose between Charles and Trent, assuming Trent ever noticed me?" (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Lawndale Hillbillies: Big Bucks, by Smijey (part 1): "'Perspective is hard,' Brittany Taylor opined. Daria Morgan glanced over at her paper, and noticed she was having a difficult time completing the assignment. 'Ain't that hard,' she said. 'It's like a shootin' range...well, I guess you wouldn't know what that's like,' she said, as the airy blonde cheerleader seemed very much like the type you wouldn't find at such an establishment. 'Oh! I go to the shooting range all the time! My Uncle Buck takes me.'"


• Legends Of The Metal, by TheExcellentS (part 13): "Finally, it was time to go. Upchuck would be tasked with driving the bus to Battersmith, while Tom followed behind in the Druid Plow. Now that the card had been armed by The Guardian of Metal, he was ready for anything that Bladehenge threw in his way. The number of personnel in the Ironheade army at this point in time came in at 22, which included all the headbangers, razor girls and Killmasters, as well as Daria, Trent, Jane, Upchuck, Jodie and Burnout."


• Legends of The Metal: Sidestory - Drowning in Despair, by Ixmythot (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood, the bitter cold of the icy winds of the mountains surrounding Death's Clutch chilling her to the bone, her eyes glancing up just to catch the last glimpses of the Deuce as it drove off. He left her, he actually left her, after all the words he said about trusting her, about caring for her. Everything he said was a lie, even after all she had done to protect him, to protect Ironheade from themselves, from Jane's distrust, her constant hatred. All for nothing."


• Life Beyond Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 14): "Lawndale State had twice the number of students of Kilgore. The size of the science class reminded her of her days at Highland High. As she was getting situated at one of the lab tables, a girl with a familiar face and blonde hair approached her. It took her a moment to realize that it was the girl she met at the Zon."


• Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Excerpt from the Diary of Alexandra Joy 'Sandi' Griffin (September 21, 2005) I confronted that Morgangeeker at Lunch. But, like, it backfired! The group of people hanging around her all backed her up! Like at least a quarter of the more popular freshmen are now against me! I heard whispers in class afterwards... Sandi closed her diary and began to think of a plan. A plan on how to destroy Quinn's popularity..."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "'This long?' I ask. 'What do you mean "this long"?' He screws his face up, looking as if he's doing mental calisthenics. 'Well, since the fog rolled in there hasn't been a real nighttime, so it's kinda hard to say, but I think I've been here . . . three days? Not quite four.' Everything inside my chest suddenly tries to drop out by way of my stomach. I can feel the blood draining away from my face. 'That can't be right.'"


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (part 16): "It made Bianca realize all she ever did look for was how to use and manipulate, and she was unable to see what a friend she could have made, a real friendship, not the pretty smile hiding the self-interest. Tom didn’t hide behind manners and smiles, he simply was. If Tom knew what she was really after, he should hate her, although rationality and emotion never did mesh well together. And he deserved to know, too."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Realizing my what??? Daria said to herself, frowning slightly. She hadn't meant to pay close attention, but this concept was so bizarre that it flew right past her. She raised her hand in order to get O'Neill's attention, but he didn't seem to notice."


• Worldburner: The Platinum Guard, by Roentgen: "In this universe rested five other Dopplegangers. From what he could tell from their various timelines - he was not as adept at scrying as the armor bearer - they would become legends if their various universes survived. It was then that he felt the stirring behind him. It was a whisper, almost subtle. He could feel mystical power come into play behind him. Soft breath by candlelight. A child's whisper. The footprint of the unknown. And the voice almost, but not quite, said, you are in my power...."


• You've Got Trouble, My Friend (Writeoff Challenge 8), by ticknart: "Outside the boardroom, he grabbed his stomach, feeling nauseous. Never did he think he'd be the kind of man who would stoop to blackmail. It didn't feel right to him. But it wasn't right that Mantly-Hart would fire him for warning them of possible lawsuits. Were the projections so good that they wouldn't have to worry about the wrongful death claims if Michael's analysis was right? He supposed they were, otherwise why would they be so calm in the meeting?"

"See how the hands grip the steering wheel, like he still thinks he could drive his way out of it?"

Today is the 99th anniversary of the birth of Jackson Pollock. Pollock, an artist known for his "dripping" technique, died in a car accident in 1956. Jane Lane was apparently a fan, or was at least interested enough to make his art and death the theme of the school dance in the episode "Daria Dance Party."

Quinn: What's this about?

Jane: Being young, carefree, having your whole life ahead of you, and dancing the night away to celebrate. Oh, and the untimely death of Jackson Pollock.

Quinn: Great! Some friend of yours bites it in a car crash and you take it out on me. My life is over, okay?

Today is also the 25th anniversary of the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster, in which seven crew members lost their lives after the shuttle broke apart after lift-off. May they rest in peace.

Fandom News:

• Kara Wild has some information about what to do in the case of board problems.


• Remember, you have until 11:59 PM on January 31st (UTC) to vote for the 2010 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• Have an opinion about 3-D movies? Talk about it in the thread!


• jtranser speculates about character appropriate alternative occupations.


• CR85747 wonders about everyone's Oscar predictions for this year.


• MJPollard would like some help with the timeline of Daria Multiverse stories.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: Stupid Sexy Daria!

Curiouser and Curiouser!

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll, was born on this day in 1832. Among his better-known writings are Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass.

There are at least four fanfic crossovers with Carroll's work. Aaron Solomon (ben Saul Joseph) Adelman wrote Daria in Wonderland, or The Hunting of the Snipe: A Darian Agony in Four Fits, a parody of The Hunting of the Snark. The Angst Guy wrote If You Only Walk Long Enough, Tiffany in Wonderland, and Wonderlane, all crossovers with Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

And speaking of fanfic, here's the latest!

• Fugitive Chapter 5: Rock'n Roll, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Jennifer swallowed the lump in her throat and returned her gaze back towards her friend. 'And... And then... what, yeah? What are we doing... um... then?' 'Then we break into the house and search the room.' 'Um... okay.' She returned to silently waiting again. 'WHAT?!!!'" (Part 2)


• Ghost Girl Chapter 4, by Pumpkin Panic (part 6): "Amy looked seriously at her niece for a moment 'I have seen many different possibilities leading to the future. The one's where Jane was never brought back are gone now leaving only a few. In all of them people will die though and you will lose people you love. Jane and Quinn are your constants though. They will alwas be in your life no matter what s long as you stick together and they will be your godsend.'"


• God Save The Esteem ep18: A Gran Day Out, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Alex, didn't expect to see you in so early – come over, join us! Daria, Tom, this is Alex McManus-' Is it really? I wasn’t sure, I only see him in the local media every two weeks and throughout half of November when he was caught in a goddamn bribe scandal that anyone paying attention would have seen."


• God Save The Esteem ep19: Shock of the New Kid, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "As the bell rang and everyone fled for a marginally more interesting class, Daria found herself cornered by O’Neill: 'Daria, how would you feel about taking part in the Yearbook?' 'Do I really need to answer th-' 'How about running the Yearbook?!'" (Part 2)


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 5, by InvisibleDan (part 2): "'Uh, let me hold some of your chips until James gets back.' 'Huh? Oh, yeah. That would be cool.' Trent stood as Daria took the box of Sugar Tarts from him and then grabbed a couple of bags of chips and held them in her arms. 'You know, Daria, I wouldn't say this around Jamey, but I think you're... Hey Monique.'"


• Just One Date, by Hyrin (parts 4 and 5): "'Charles, I'm surprised, but I actually had a good time tonight.' 'So did I,' he said, shuffling his feet nervously. He was drumming his fingertips on his thighs, trying to think of something to say. Daria found herself unable to form a coherent sentence for the first time since she’d walked in on Trent composing nude in the Lane bathroom." (Part 5)


• Lady Lex, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Ensign Thomas Sloane leaned on the railing of the antiaircraft gallery to watch the activity below. Deck crews organized the aircraft on the dark blue deck of the USS Lexington. Each aircraft was blue/gray with large, white stars set inside insignia blue rondels on the wings and fuselage and red and white stripes marking the rudders."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Yeah, what would you wish for, Amiga?' Jane asked, with a smirk. 'A herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains?' Daria stated. She was then surprised by the wish granting sound. 'What?' 'Looks like you have made a wish!' Jane said. 'It was a cynical joke!' Daria said, to Jean."


• Lawndale Seven, by Wassersauefer (prologue): "Hundreds of different religions from dozens of different species, goods from all over the galaxy, uncounted political attitudes, the scent and smell of more than a million beings, all mixed together, producing an uneasy atmosphere of adventure, danger, possibilities and the chance to get rich. But the reason why Helen Morgendorffer, mother of two daughters, brought her family there, was a lot more simple than that: Survival."


• Promises, by LadieT (part 2): "Neither woman spoke the rest of the way. When they pulled into the parking lot, Jane stepped out of the car and made her way to the passenger side. Opening the door for her wife, Jane could see that tears were beginning to form in Daria's eyes. Setting aside all of the emotions that were taking their toll on her own brain, Jane held Daria in a gentle embrace. 'We better go inside ... our niece and sister need us,' Jane whispered."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 41): "The examiner checked off her name and handed her a certificate. 'Look Clarissa, we graduated from Swimming College,' Daria said as they headed back to the locker room. 'Now I can get that job with the Coast Guard.'"


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 14 and 15): "And Reed was asking earnestly, Tom could hear it in his voice. Either Reed really needed the help, or he was some masterful actor of some kind. And that was a needlessly complicated endeavor. What would one of Elsie’s friends gain by tricking Tom to help him with history? Was it some bet or something?" (Part 15)


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "With hands trembling with excitement, Ted reached out and pressed Enter on his keyboard, initializing the program that he and Charles had spent the past several hours setting up. Both boys sat waiting, tense, staring at the screen with silent fervor broken only by the sound of the storm raging outside the window. And then the lights went out."

"That's funny, because it's the exact opposite of the truth, right?"

Today is not Opposite Day! This is not the day when you say the opposite of what you mean and there is absolutely no chance that any statements, answers to questions, or blog posts could become unnecessarily confusing.

Also, Kevin Thompson is a brilliant man, Daria and Trent are meant to be together forever, and chocolate is totally overrated.

Now I will not be sharing any fandom news!

• Less than a week left to vote in the 2010 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• Happy Australia Day to those who live in Australia, come from Australia, or just want an excuse to party!


• Do attractive people have higher IQs? Join the discussion!


• Charles RB started a thread in Deep Thoughts about Daria and O'Neill.


• Watermelon Man asks about everyone's top five anything.


• Ranger Thorne has some thoughts about the world of Harry Potter as applied to the United States.


• Another Iron Chef from Vukodlak: That can't be in style!?

"Anybody else smell peanut butter?"

Today is National Peanut Butter Day! Celebrate it by sitting on a sandwich on the way to Alternapalooza, catching a squirrel and releasing it past county lines, or munching a bunch of your nutty friend's lunch. Just don't eat any pistachios--Quinn is allergic to the dye.

New Fanfic!

• Check out the World's Shortest Crossover thread for some awesome ficlets!


• Big Wolf On Lawndale Campus, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 and 2): "Jane looked down at her own hands and gasped. Her fingernails had grown long and sharp and her skin was getting darker. This was only raising her anxiety and it seemed to be getting worse. 'Um, excuse me.' she said to Jodie and began to run off only to slam into Ms. Li who was giving a tour to some new students. 'Oh, um, sorry Ms. Li. I just have an emrgency.' she said before running off." (Part 2)


• Daria/Dorian 12: Spring Breaks, by LadieT (part 5): "While Lillian was studying it, Jane went to check to see if anyone was watching Janecam. A few moments later, Dorian's sn popped up in the corner. Both of his aunts turned and waved at the camera. This time - Quinn, Jake, and Helen were standing behind him and watched as their family waved. Despite knowing that they couldn't be seen, they gave a tiny wave back."


• Fugitive Chapter 4: Country Music, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'Mr. Burns, did you have any idea, that the young man she housed was a wanted criminal? And that she is attracted to him?' If it had been a cartoon from Warner Brothers his jaw would have hit the desk. But it wasn't, so he just stared at her in disbelief. 'I'm... I'm sure she did not know.' 'Apparently you didn't either. You did not even know that he was there at all, am I right?' She tried not to sound accusing, but her voice betrayed her. For a moment he just sat there, eyes cast downwards. 'No... no, I did not.' he then answered, his voice quiet and small."


• Ghost Girl Chapter 4, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 - 5): "Daria and Jane walked into shloss Morgendorffer after leaving the school Halloween costume ball home coming dance early. Jane was wearing a Diana Prince Wonder Woman costume with the lasso and Daria had her green blazer and a green and grey scarf but nothing other than that to indicate she was wearing a costume. "Promise me that if for some reason someone entrusts children in our unfit care we'll never let them wear costumes like that." Shuddered the Slytherin dressed girl." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• God Save The Esteem ep18: A Gran Day Out, by Charles RB (part 2): "The country club was the same as Sedimentary Rock back in Lawndale, in all the ways that counted: everything about it was aggressively reserved and tasteful, grabbing your face and screaming about how rich it was and yet had such decorum. The staff had blank expressions, and the other people in the building were the graceful old. Tom had asked the waitress for 'sauerkraut and boiled goose', and was surprised when they actually had sauerkraut and goose (roast). Seeing that Daria was the only one who got the reference, he ordered that to save face."


• Holiday Roadtrip, by Chris Tucker: "A few honks of the horn at the assembled Morgendorffers as a collective salutation, the rental car with Jane behind the wheel, pulled away from the curb and headed for the local sub shop to take on food and drinks for the long trip north. That task accomplished, the car was pointed northeast to intercept Route 95."


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 2): "Scarlett Hawkins looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and sighed. It had been six months since that cold February day; even now, in the hottest month of the year, the mere memory of that day could make both her back and buttocks feel ice cold. Then she looked at the pockmarked scars that were left by John’s - no, the werewolf's teeth when he had bitten her two months before."


• I'm Your Boogeyman ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Raskolnikov (COMPLETE!): "'Don’t turn off the lights. The boogeyman will come.' 'The boogeyman, honey?'. It was winter, but that only meant that the sun kept its vigilance to strict part-time schedules, so the scorching heat of most of the year had turned into a mild warmth. Winter in Texas didn’t call for snow and grey skies. 'Yes. The boogeyman. It comes when the lights are off and eats children in the dark, when nobody is looking. And after that, it boils their bones and makes furniture out of them.'"


• The Invitation or We're With the Band (New Hope Mini), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "The Morgendorffer girls were shocked at how ridiculous the Spiral's songs were, but managed to enjoy themselves nonetheless. Every so often, the girls would receive offers of refreshment from the many male denizens of the bar, and one group of college-age guys even invited them to their apartment to watch movies and 'veg out.' When the girls declined, the defacto leader stepped up to challenge their excuse of being needed elsewhere."


• Is It 'Mania Yet?, by TheExcellentS (teaser): "Daria: 'Yes. Franz Kafka once said that beyond a certain point there is no return, but this point has to be reached. Well, Sandi, we are way beyond the point of no return. You and the rest of The Fashion Club have lit a fire in us that will keep burning until we see your evil, corrupt empire fall to the ground.' Jane: 'And believe us when we say this. It's going to happen. We double FREAKIN' dare you to try and stop us.'"


• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (part 35): "As they walked around, one store caught Daria's eyes - a tiny comic book store. She asked if they could go in and Helen nodded. As they walked through the aisles of thin magazines, nothing caught Daria's interest until she got to the last set of shelves. Instead of magazines, the shelves were covered in books - graphic novels. Daria quickly grabbed Jane and brought her to the aisle. Daria and Jane studied the books in complete fascination. After asking the clerk which ones she would recommend, Penny picked out a couple. The group left the building with not only the novels, but the seeds planted in two ten-year-olds heads."


• John Lane 48: A Boston We Will Go, by RLobinske (part 5): "Boston Fine Arts College was not far from Raft. John estimated it would be a fairly easy jog, less than three miles. Unlike the older, open quad of Raft, BFAC was a tight cluster of taller buildings confined to two city blocks with only a small courtyard for open space. 'I can see parking sucks even more there than at Raft,' he said as Amy squeezed the car into the parking garage."


• Just One Date, by Hyrin (parts 2 and 3): "Gaping like a fish on land, Quinn cried out, 'Mu-om! You can't let her decide on her clothes! She'll just pick out out' 'Something that will look lovely on her, I'm sure,' Helen said sweetly while giving Quinn her best lawyer look. 'If Daria decides that you have helped her sufficiently, then you can get a new outfit too.' Quinn opened her mouth to reply, but any further argument between the two was cut off by Daria's head thudding on the table as a light snoring was heard." (Part 3


• Life Beyond Highland, by LadieT (part 13): "Daria arrived back home around seven to find Quinn sitting in the living room, staring at a blank television. At first, she wasn't sure if her little sister wanted to be alone. After watching Quinn for a couple of minutes, she knew that wasn't the case. Daria joined her sister on the couch as Quinn stared at her with sad eyes."


• MiSTed: Pause in the Air, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "TOM: Most generic phone conversation ever. CROW: I'm really feeling for the one person that called the other person. He, she, or it really speaks to me on a personal level. MIKE: I can see why this had to be a Daria fanfic. The interaction between whoever-it-is and what's-their-face only showed hints of the deep interaction that's going on here."


• No Armour Bar Her Coat by Charles RB (part 1): "He'd been saying that since the summer started, when Buxton Ridge Military Academy had politely but firmly told him that Daria's first year would be her only year. You could ignore bullying and psychological trauma only up to a point; that point had been passed and they'd been terrified that she might kill herself on school grounds. Suicides brought bad attention and had to be avoided."


• Oh, By The Way, by RLobinske (part 3): "Tess said, 'Quinn, you and your gentleman still aren't married, are you?' 'No, Grandma,' Quinn said. 'We're where we want to be right now.' 'Your sister's been married for almost seven years, now.' Daria said, 'Which is where I wanted to be, Grandma.'"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 1): "Jane froze when she heard the voice on the other end of the line. Helen Morgendorffer had not spoken to either of them since they announced their engagement three years earlier. Even their wedding invitation to her and Jake was returned. That action had caused Daria to take Jane's last name instead of keeping her own. For a moment, she thought about lying to the Morgendorffer matriarch, but decided against it."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North (part 13): "Cursing myself for a fool, I turn to face the opening in the wall, step over the divider, and begin to follow the trail. As I do so, I put my pistol back in its holster and pull out the tire iron instead. I really hope that I don't have to use either weapon on him, but some small, noble part of me thinks it should at least be a somewhat fair fight. Plus, the thought of actually pointing a gun at another person makes me feel sick to my stomach."


• She Walks in Rainbows, by rglovejoy (part 1): "Stacy's mother sat on the sofa and patted on the cushion next to her, signaling her to come sit with her. Mrs, Bryant silently looked on. 'Something happened to your father, sweetie. Some very bad men, they...' She wiped a tear from her cheek. 'They hurt Daddy. He's...'"


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 12 and 13): "Forget spring salons and all of that other nonsense, a relationship with one person like this was more than a hundred of the relationships based on the empty vacuousness of those at the parties. Maybe they were his mother's thing, but they weren't his, and Tom wasn't certain if they would ever be." (Part 13)


• The Sword, by Kael Seoras (parts 1 - 3): "STACY Yea! God Daria, what do you take me for, a moron? Daria responds with a deadpan stare. Stacy panics. STACY Ohmygod you really do think I'm a moron don't you- Daria sighs. DARIA Stacy, you have got to be the most perpetually scared-witless person I've ever known." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: That can't be in style!?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "After two months, Sullinger came to the realization that she hated her job, she hated her bosses, she hated the nobodies on the show whose egos had been inflated to dangerous proportions and she hated her dangerous apartment on 119th Street. She had thought of coming up with teens wearing clothing so outre that it could literally not be matched."


• World War Z: The unpublished interview, by VPrad (COMPLETE!): "It’s a sunny day in New Lawndale. I’m sitting outside New Lawndale’s School, the place kids all ages are receiving their education, waiting for Principal Daria Morgendorffer. The building looks surprisingly well, which is unusual, considering the state of most of the buildings after the end of the war. A woman in her early forties, with short auburn hair, wearing a white tank top and a pair of old, worn down, big round glasses. She sits by my side and after a little casual conversation, I turn on my recorder and we start the interview."


• Worldburner: They Were Nine, by Erin M. (part 3): "'You were always one of the school's brightest students, Jane,' Angela said. 'C-average or not, and I certainly wasn't going to let you waste the potential you had. No matter how much you kicked and screamed to get away from it.' 'And look at me now,' Jane said ruefully. 'Yes,' Angela replied, her face serious. 'We all would have died if you hadn't taken charge, Jane. You became the strong leader I knew you could be. I just wish it had been under less dire circumstances.'"

Another Caption Contest!

Post your captions in the comments!

"Maybe we should stay here and hug. Would that be more manly?"

Happy National Hug Day! On the left, Daria is celebrating the holiday with gusto but Jane isn't so sure she's a fan of it. On the right, Daria is starting to understand Jane's point of view on the subject.

Go on, get out there and start hugging people! See you when the sexual harassment lawsuits are over!

In the meantime, let's respect each other's personal space while I share some fandom news:

• The PPMB will be accepting donations to help maintain the account.


• Don't forget to send in your votes for the 2010 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• J-D posts some thoughts on "Prize Fighters" and interview coaches.


• MJPollard started a thread to discuss Doctor Who: Season 5, Matt Smith, and more.


• Lord Akiyama has started a thread about casting choices in the next Batman movie.


• GlitterShrooms has posted a new Iron Chef: Daria's Worst Nightmare.

Film Festivals and Hair Dye: A Lethal Mix

Federico Fellini was born on this day in 1920. Although Fellini is known to most of the world as an Italian film director whose distinctive style had a significant influence on filmmaking, in Daria fandom he is known as the homewrecker who planted the seeds of discord between Tom and Jane:

Jane: How about Screecher II? I heard those blood-sucking eyeballs look really cool when they burst.

Tom: Actually, I'm kind of in the mood for a movie with a plot. Hey...Daria left me a message about a Fellini film festival.

Jane: Oh, yeah? You gave Daria your number?

Tom: You did. So we could go rescue her from "mother/daughter bonding day"?

Jane: Right, right, right.

Tom: I guess she remembered the debate we got into on Fellini's symbolism.

Jane: I do, too--one of the best naps I ever had.

Tom: Hey, the cinema can be more than bursting eyeballs.

Jane: "The cinema?"

Tom: Look, do you want to see La Dolce Vita?

Jane: I think I'll pass.

Tom: Fine.

Oh, Fellini. Why? Why?

While we ponder Fellini's dastardly part in the infamous Jane-Tom-Daria triangle, allow me to present today's fanfic update:

• A blessing from God? (LLH Mini), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'I... I have a problem and just don't know who I can talk to.' Now finally he raised his head and dared to meet the soft, caring gaze of Reverend Muenster. 'Like I said, that's what I'm here for', the churchman assured him with a soft smile. 'I know that it can be hard to talk to someone who you don't know. So, say, what is it that led your feet to my office?' Again he bit his lips. 'Well... It's really complicated.' 'Then, perhaps you should start at the beginning.'"


• Daria/Dorian 12: Spring Breaks, by LadieT (part 4): "'Jean-Michelle hypnotized me and I had a past-life regression and guess what??!!' 'He hypnotized you?' It's a damn good thing I didn't get him for a counselor. Then we really would be put in the loony bin. Dorian shook his head, 'He told you that you were a pony in a previous life?' 'No silly,' Quinn punched his arm. 'He said that I was Cleopatra in a past life. See I knew that I shouldn't have made an F on that paper about Cleopatra's make-up tips. What are you about to do?'"


• Daria: Hunter - Infectious, by Jim North: "Mack frowned, even though he knew Daria couldn't see it. 'That's kind of vague, isn't it?' he asked testily. 'I thought you bounty hunters were trained to take in every single detail in a glance or something!' 'Yes, and we also never lose a fight, nor do we have to sit in front of a computer for hours on end doing searches on people. We just get out there, kick people in the face, and start bar fights for fun. Are we done romanticizing my profession now, Mr. Criminal Mastermind?'"


• Fallout: Journeys (Non-Daria), by Vukodlak (part 2): "William was then lost in thought, Wrench wasn't like the others, she didn't give the impression of taking joy in violence, she didn't have the drug shot eyes. He had to figure out a way to help her, but he couldn't do that if he was ransomed off, he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep."


• For the Team (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): "'You gotta come back Mack Daddy! The team needs you!' Mack fought to suppress a sigh. On one hand, not having to talk to Kevin was one of the benefits for moving away form Lawndale. On the other hand, he had really let his team down by transferring away so suddenly, and with no immediate captain to replace him. After a brief moral struggle, his conscience persuaded him to help out his team one last time."


• Fugitive Chapter 3: Punk Rock, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "There are a lot of things people are able to ignore easily. Like bad news on the TV, starving people somewhere in Africa or a bad movie when you're sitting right next to a beautiful date. A big, slobbering dog the size of a calf is not one of these things, especially if it is sitting right in front of your front door."


• Ghost Girl Chapter 3, by Pumpkin Panic (COMPLETE!): "Daria, Jane, Trent, and surprisingly Quinn who seemed desperate to get out of the house to go anywhere other than just school. The house had been cleaned recently. The thick layers of dust and and Trent's man trash were gone and a new tv and telephones were brought in along with a sound system and a computer. It seemed Trent was tapping into his money to fix up the Lane residence."


• Ghost Girl Chapter 4, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 - 3): "Jane lane was going back to Lawndale High school. Well Jane Lane II was going to Lawndale high for the first time today. The alma mater of her 'father'. She was glad she had some people who already knew her already planted in the school. She was already stressed out by the psychological exam and had done her best to answer how she thought Quinn would because she didn't feel like taking the self esteem class anymore. It was just something to do since she didn't have anyone to hang out with anymore. She had Daria now and Quinn didn't seem so bad when she wasn't being completely shallow which was any time when she wasn't talking but still." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• God Save The Esteem ep18: A Gran Day Out, by Charles RB (part 1): "She had to snark because the alternative was to try and sift between the conflicting calls to run, go in, freeze in place, what if this went wrong, what- What if it didn’t. Hell with it."


• Holding On (Iron Chief: If Daria had a daughter like Quinn), by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): "'And then she had the audacity to ask if she could still go to the lake this weekend!' 'Really?' asked Helen. 'What did you say?' 'I told her she'd be lucky if she saw daylight again.' Daria sighed and removed her glasses, rubbed her eyes. 'Honestly! It’s like living with Quinn all over again!'"


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 1): "'I had a boyfriend until three months ago,' she said. 'He began to get very scary and very controlling. I broke up with him when he hit me.' There was an awkward silence for several seconds, then he said, 'That sucks.' She nodded. 'Since then, he always seems to show up wherever I am, most nights.'"


• I Was A Teenage Sex Kitten..., by Erin M. (part 3): "'And welcome to the Harvey Marks Chats! Iam, of course, Harvey Marks, and I'm pleased as punch to welcome my guest tonight. Our benevolent dictator from another world, the Grand Protectorate herself, Jane Lane!' 'Thank you, Harvey. And hello out there to all my soulless labor drones!'"


• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (part 34): "During the ride to Amy's place, she pointed out several landmarks. On occasion, Penny would turn around to look at the girls' faces as they stared up at the skyscrapers. Part of her wished she could share their awe. When they arrived at Amy's, the girls were still talking about all of the buildings they had seen. Amy opened her door and the girls jumped onto the couch to continue their conversation."


• Just One Date, by Hyrin (part 1): "'Damn it, Upchuck! Fine, if it'll convince you to leave me alone, then yes!'
  Daria's voice echoed through the halls as Jane's jaw dropped to the floor. Upchuck, aka Charles Ruttheimer III, was leaning against a locker and, as passerby watched, the look on his face melted from his normal debonair leer into a visage more often seen on the face of a man who's foot had been run over by a car."


• Lawndale Rumble, by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "BARCH: 'That sneaky little rat! I knew he'd pull a stunt like that eventually!' O'NEILL: 'And now he's being surrounded by both Morgendorffers, Lane and Taylor! I think DeWitt-Clinton is in quite a bit of trouble.' BARCH: 'I think I'm going to enjoy this.'" (Part 15) (Part 16)


• Life Beyond Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 12): "Four thirty is not the time for any sane person to be up on a Sunday morning. Yet, there was Helen Morgendorffer, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. Since Jake's death, she struglled with getting a good night's rest. She began to listen to the muffled sounds of classical music coming from Daria's room. The haunting sounds of the woodwind instruments seemed to soothe Helen's soul, until she began to think about Daria and what could have been."


• Making a Stand (Iron Chef: State by State), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Four men and one woman climbed down from their stools and began walking toward the booth where Mack and Jodie sat. The locals didn't look happy, but Mack simply looked for the leader and made eye contact. 'Hey...you,' the leader said in an Alabama drawl. 'You're not welcome here.'"


• MiSTed: Pause in the Air, by Jim North (part 1): "> 'I'm sorry,' Daria said. > 'I'm sorrier,' Jane said in a choked voice. TOM: Well I'm sorriest! Ha! I win! MIKE: The important question is, is the author sorry?"


• Oh, By The Way, by RLobinske (part 2): "Moving carefully down the stairs using her walker and assisted by her daughter Rita, Tess Barksdale was showing her age. Her once vibrant red hair was now thin and white while her arms and legs were thin and frail. But despite her physical aging, her eyes were bright and she was still mentally sharp. Rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs, she spied Jake on one of the sofas, hand-feeding bits of salmon to the pair of cats."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 40): "Daria stood on the sidewalk and watched Heidi's taxi drive away. That wasn't so bad. A free meal and a possible mention in the Times. And she didn't even have to reveal anything all that intimate. As long as someone like Walter or Prof. Horwitz is around to chaperone, there shouldn't be a problem."


• Remebering Amy Barksdale (Ghost Girl Minis), by Pumpkin Panic (COMPLETE!): "She came out west to find the sun. At least that's what she would tell me. She missed her sister but she had to get out of that cold marriage from hell. She had spent three long years with that ass hole her parents pushed her to get with because he was one of those born rich republican good ol' boys. He ended up getting her hooked on coke and I don't mean the soda pop."


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (part 11): "Maybe Nadine had a point, maybe she was getting a little soft. She had a soft spot for American men. It was why she thought she could get close to this guy easy: A touch of real feeling made faking a feeling all the more believable. But this was not a touch, she enjoyed Tom's company. Hurting him would be awful, and it made Bianca feel sick to her stomach."


• Words & Pictures, by VPrad (part 2): "Daria smiled as she sent the email to her favorite aunt, the only adult she considered 'cool'. She was the kind of person she wanted to grow up to be, conserving the same acid, biting sense of humor, not having to put up with anyone's BS, working on her dream job. She was too cynical to admit it, but she wanted to be like her Aunt Amy."


• Worldburner: The Fixer's Finest Hour, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "He tapped his cufflinks, sending the radio signal to his faithful bike, and flew down to the decaying funfair, praying Judith would restrict her fire in a place she'd marked out as her own. He landed bad, too in pain to focus, and his left ankle cracked in protest; he fell over, looking up at the carousel, wooden horses with big smiles and decaying corpses tied to them. A lot of the corpses had green jackets. 'Well, she did... did say it was her Happy Place, and... and who really likes the ferris wheel, honestly?'"


• Worldburner: They Were Nine, by Erin M. (part 2): "'Now, Brittany,' O'Neill began, 'You know that kind of thing only happens in science fiction--' 'We've been attacked by evil superpowered lookalikes of Daria and Jane, as well as an army of living fire monsters, and a bunch of yellow caped goons,' said Stacy, back to her normal tone of voice. 'I think we passed the point where science fiction became science fact a LONG time ago.' 'Well, I, um...' O'Neill stammered before closing his mouth."

Nevermore!

On this day in 1937, Howard Hughes beat his own airspeed record by flying from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds. Tom may never have flown an airplane, but he has apparently found his own way to emulate the eccentric billionaire.

Also on this day, writer/poet Edgar Allan Poe was born in 1809. Happy birthday, you delightfully creepy man! Daria is seen reading The Telltale Heart in the episode "Gifted," in which she responds to Brittany's assumption that the story is a romance with, "Yeah, nothing says 'be mine' like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard."

Two fanfics have put a Daria spin on one of Poe's most famous works, "The Raven": The Cynic by Steve Mitchell and A Raven, Nothing More by Lew Richardson. Enjoy!

Fandom News!

• BlackHole has been made a moderator in the Other Languages forum! Also, Kara Wild is looking for fluent French speakers who are interested in becoming moderators as well.


• Watermelon Man asks if the DVD release of Daria has created a resurgence in popularity?


• Deref and his wife will be taking a trip to various parts of Europe and the United States. Can you make it for a Dariacon?


• Dork wants to know, how old is the Daria fanbase? Vote in the poll!


• ticknart now has a spotlight thread! Time to think up some tough questions.


• J-D is looking for information about the U.S. college application process.


• What do you consider to be the signature styles of Daria writers? Discuss it in Brother Grimace's thread.


• Gjork is looking for Beavis & Butthead/Daria crossovers. Can you help?


• Four more Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Kael Seoras offers Asteroid Apocalypse, Roentgen gives us State by State, Vukodlak suggests If Daria had a daughter like Quinn, and Wassersauefer brings up Lawndale Horror High.

He Had a Dream....

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is one of my favorite quotes from the great civil rights leader, and decided that today being Martin Luther King, Jr. Day meant this was the perfect time to share it.

Whether you spend today as a day off from work/school, spend it doing some form of service, or going up to the gate and ringing the big bell (thank you, Andrew Landon), I hope it's an inspiring day for us all.

"I have none, so I said nothing."

Today is National Nothing Day! Daria and Quinn had this to say about the subject in "Lane Miserables":


Daria: Well, I was just pondering the idea that the negative, which is the nothingness of being and the annihilating power both together, is nothingness.

Quinn: Oh, Daria! That whole "less is more" thing is so over! Accessories are back.


This exchange is followed shortly by the "what's that in the fridge" conversation, in which multiple Lanes peer into said fridge and mutter, "Nothing." It was a very zen episode, I suppose. It really makes you think.


New Fanfic!

• Fugitive Chapter 3: Punk Rock, by Wassersauefer (part 1): "He knew what the Legion was, what the young people in there really did, or at least he had his suspicions. Military training, top secret activities, state of the art equipment and crazy incidents all around the whole group and everything they had to do with. Put all of it together and you don't have to think long about it…att least not if you have a working brain, which is not nearly as frequently as you would think with most people."


• Ghost Girl Chapter 2, by Pumpkin Panic (COMPLETE!): "Jane pointed to the object sitting on a rusted out bedframe. A large black leather bound book with an embossed golden cross peeling off and on the bottom of the cover it was inscribed 'O. Jones' 'Ah, the hypocrasy of the world. Charming isn't it?' She picked up he old crumbling bible about to put it in the center of the rune circle when the familiar sound of Odell's voice rang out 'If you put that down and get away from your little black magic circle maybe I'll kill you fast and painless.'"


• Ghost Girl Chapter 3, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 - 8): "Daria sat in her dark quiet room, prescribed bed rest thanks to Dr. Lawrence. She had been grounded since she got ome for sneaking out and doing something dangerous that got her that hurt even though she caimed she couldn't remember what it was. She tried to explain how dumb it was to punish someone for something they couldn't even remember doing. Helen then said this punishment covered anything dangerous. Quinn had come ome late two and with the accident had thought that she'd get out of it but she to became incarcerated in schloss Morgendorffer." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Her Hero (Iron Chief: Daria cries...), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Daria glanced over at the neurotic man near her who clung desperately to the hope that he hadn’t ruined his daughters lives. The man who had survived an abusive father, military school, being married to her mother, a heart attack, having Quinn as a daughter, and many other oddities and tragedies."


• I Don't Side Stories: Erin, by OverlordMikey (part 1): "'You know - speaking of Luhrman.' 'We weren't.' Erin said, only showing some irritation. 'Do you see any long term plans with him?' 'Mom, I'm not sure I wanna talk about this.' 'Have you two had-' 'Mom!' Erin said embarrassed. 'I don't like talking about that kind of stuff.'"


• John Lane 48: A Boston We Will Go, by RLobinske (part 4): "Daria stopped and shifted forward. 'I'm not good at giving pat answers. Boston has a lot more of interest to me that the boring suburb where I live now or the desolate backwater I lived before that.' 'I can appreciate honesty. I don't hear it that often in this line of work. Please, continue.' Daria relaxed. 'I can do honest.'"


• Lawndale Rumble, by TheExcellentS (parts 11 - 13): "O'NEILL: 'And we have one of the big guns in Lawndale Fighting making their way into the match, one half of the reigning Lawndale Women's Tag Team Champions The Freakin' Friends, Jane Lane.' BARCH: 'An artist in and out of the ring, Jane has a huge opportunity to cement her legacy by being the winner of the first Lawndale Rumble.'" (Part 12) (Part 13)


• Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'The Bank!' Jane said, forebodingly. Jennifer and Daria looked outside, two tall well built men had pulled up near the letter box and were walking up the path. 'They're foreclosing?' Daria asked. 'Not if I can help it!' Jane said."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'Martina, I sense you have some subconscious issues involved, you seem distracted.... Is there something wrong?' 'You think so, Doctor Morgendorffer? I mean, I hear train whistles during my orgasms. But there's nothing wrong with that, is there?'"


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 9 and 10): "'This is not a scheme, Nadine. It is fact-finding. Research. Tom is a target that is near-impossible to get good data on. By all accounts he is normal, he doesn't do anything illicit aside from not be around everything else. I don't blame him, I’ve been to the salons, and I'd rather be a number of places.'" (Part 10)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: Daria cries...), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "The last box had been packed and loaded onto the truck. Daria stood in the front yard, watching her father negotiating with the movers. She felt an immense sense of relief to be leaving Highland."


• Words & Pictures, by VPrad (part 1): "She enjoyed seeing those two together. Both girls shared the same sense of humor and were such original thinkers. The girl with big round glasses, even though she obviously wasn’t as talented as her best friend, was relatively good at the subject she taught and she had even made some interesting pieces filled with a wicked, dark sense of humor. Even though she was known amongst the other teachers for her ruthless, sarcastic comments, she had always been nice to her, something she appreciated."


• Worldburner: The Fixer's Finest Hour, by Charles RB (part 5): "There'd only be one chance at this. He tapped his cufflinks together, sending a radio signal to his shoes. And the spring-loaded tear gas pellet inside them. Caught off guard, the enemy recoiled – Ruttheimer was going for the machine-pistol at his side in the instant of deployment, but Daybreaker Jane was moving faster than even that, on Judith in an instant and burnt to ash from the inside by a 'fire Judith' in the next instant. By then, Ruttheimer was firing."

"Guys yelling and jumping up and down and banging into stuff and dip, Stacy, dip!"

Today is most likely a sacred holiday to Kevin Thompson. The first was played on this day in 1967, between the Green Bay Packers and the Kansas City Chiefs. The Packers won, which is probably good news to Kevin, who seems to be a fan of Vince Lombardi according to "The Lawndale File":

Mack: Remember that game when you fell on your head? Remember how you thought Vince Lombardi was sending you plays from hell?

Kevin: Heaven, bro! Vince Lombardi did not go to hell.

As for the first Super Bowl, I don't know if any school review meetings regarding soda advertising in schools took place on the same day, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility.

Fandom news!

• Nominations are up for the 2010 Daria Fanworks Awards for Written Works and Visual Works. Congratulations to all the nominees!


• How will you celebrate Daria Day: 2/16?


• Roentgen started two new Deep Thoughts threads: Ph. D. Exam in Philosophy and Daria and the Nazis.


• Vukodlak started a new Iron Chef: Daria cries...


• TheExcellentS is looking for suggestions for his Daria Pixel Art Collection.

Caption Contest!

Why are Daria and Jane so nervous?

"It's only a matter of time."

Happy Make Your Dream Come True Day! Daria would like her whole family to do something together. Something that'll really make them suffer. I suppose dinners at Pizza Forest and hours at UFO conventions are a pretty darn good start to that dream.

Any ideas on what Daria's actual goals in life might include? Becoming a writer is a popular one, and her future story from "Write Where It Hurts" gave us some touching insights into what she wants her family to be like, but what else might Daria wish for? Aside from pizza, that is.

In the meantime, here's the latest fanfic update:

• The Best Laid Plans (Iron Chef: The Big Three-Zero), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): "'Well, I turned 30 today and what do I get for my birthday? ANOTHER bunch of CIA assassins that I had to dispose of. Yay me. Not that this was unexpected, since the doomsday weapon is only weeks away from completion. I really hope they don’t call my bluff since I want to RULE the world, and after that thing goes off there wouldn’t be much left to rule. I think I can angle it so that at least half of Hawaii remains untouched so in the worst case scenario I at least get to retire in a nice place....'"


• Between The Boards (Write-off Challenge 7, Round 3), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'My name is Quinn Morgendorffer. Does this school have a hockey team? I played on the jay-vee team in Lawndale despite being in eighth grade.' 'Yes we do - but nobody goes to their games because they never win.' The black-haired boy replied. 'That's because I haven't joined the team yet.'"


• By any Means Necessary (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): "It had only been two days, and Jodie was already close to snapping. She had barely bit back several profane comments towards the congressman she was volunteering for, had almost slapped her sister for taking the fresh pancake at breakfast where there was already one on the table, and had made a rather undiplomatic comment about the quality of a yearbook page." (Extra scene by NightGoblyn here)


• Daria/Dorian 12: Spring Breaks, by LadieT (part 3): "Drinking milk straight from the carton, Jake took his own sweet time driving causing Helen to become enraged. With about an hour left to go, Helen forced her husband to pull over so she could drive the rest of the way. In the backseat, Dorian and Quinn looked at each other and shook their heads. They knew they were going to be in for a long weekend."


• Free (Iron Chief: Daria cries...), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane stood down the block, faces painted vivid orange from the light of the blaze. Gas cans and rags sat in the decaying back seat of Trent's car, and though the remains of the wine bottles that crashed through nearly every window on the ground floor of the main building would eventually be found, there would be no fingerprints to incriminate them."


• Fugitive Chapter 2: The Blues, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Before, she had thought of him as a killer robot -- a rather cute and nice killer robot, but a robot nonetheless. But in that instant he wasn't like that anymore, not in her eyes. She saw something different, something completely different. This sad, lonely guy, sitting in a rusted car on a junk yard, this was neither a killer nor a robot. He was a survivor. A fugitive. A guy fucked over by destiny." (Part 2)


• Ghost Girl: Chapter One, by Pumpkin Panic (COMPLETE!): "You see, Daria was no ordinary jaded sarcastic teenager. She had a gift... or more accurately to how she felt about it a curse. She could see, talk to, and even touch ghosts. So in a place such as historical Lawndale she might be a bit uncomfortable." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Ghost Girl Chapter 2, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 - 6): "Jane was the second ghost she hadn't sent off to the great beyond. She didn't seem to want to go. She was content where she was. She didn't annoy Daria or haunt anyone and Daria reasoned that's why she hadn't done it yet. The truth was though it was because this was the first person that she had really connected with ever and Daria didn't want to lose her best friend over some silly technicality like she was dead." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• God Save The Esteem ep17: Bits and Pierces, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You... you haven't been to a funeral, have you?' pleaded Helen. Willow laughed. 'Oh no, no, we just had to come straight from work.' '...work.' 'InterVestMint Bank up in Baltimore,' said Dingo. '...bank.'" (Part 3)


• I Don't Side Stories: Luhrman, by OverlordMikey (part 1): "He sighed and opened his desk. Inside was a tiny box, like the kind one would keep a ring in. Inside a small diamond he had planned to give Erin. 'I wouldn't want to miss the wedding of the century.' I can only hope something catches fire, like the groom."


• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (part 33): "As the rest of the Morgendorffers approached, Jake saught sight of Rita and had the urge to run to the airport bar. Helen grabbed his hand and led him towards the bench her two siblings were sitting at. Rita and Helen gave each other a short hug. Rita looked at her at her newest niece and only nephew. She studied Daria then moved to Trent, but her eyes kept going back to Daria. Making a face of some digust, Rita backed away from the Lane siblings."


• John Lane 48: A Boston We Will Go, by RLobinske (part 3): "'I don't think I'll need to worry too much about the fraternity and sorority houses, but they're on the other side of the matching dorms, following a nice, early twentieth century sensibility of not allowing boys and girls to live too close together.' 'And it gives more opportunities for streaking across the quad,' Amy said. When John and Daria looked at her, she said, 'Hey, I started college in the seventies. We did things like that. And before you give me any more looks, your generation will find something just as stupid to do.'"


• Lawndale Rumble, by TheExcellentS (parts 6 - 10): "O'NEILL: 'Thompson is unloading with those trademark shoulder tackles on Ruttheimer!' BARCH: 'You know, it's taking every fibre of my being to stop myself from getting up and giving both of them the business.' O'NEILL: 'I've seen you give the business. I don't think my scars have fully healed yet.'" (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)


• Life Beyond Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 10): "Seeing the redhead, Stacy signaled for Quinn to join her and her friends. In her mind, Quinn began to try to feel out the two people standing with Stacy. The taller Asian woman seemed very uninterested and focused more on her nails than on Quinn. The brunette on the other hand, stared intently at Quinn and scowled. Great, she sees me as competition. This isn't high school anymore bitch, get over yourself." (Part 11)


• Lingering Hours, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "As the melancholy notes sang through the still air of that Wednesday night, Daria thought of a boy with dark hair and a gap-toothed smile, eyes which seemed to shine liquid green under the summer sun. She thought of long games of tag, scavenger hunts, trading books on rainy afternoons. A smile touched her heart at the memory of the fourth grade talent show, the vision of him in that single spotlight, playing his favorite song."


• Mise-en-Sandi, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I got permission to use Pepperhill High School for a $10,000 fee. I can shoot there whenever I want to. I have the run of the place and the limited assistance of the faculty.' Jack stood back, framing an imaginary scene. 'We're at high school. We have the jocks, the brains, the nerds, the mean girls.' 'Did you know that Sandi was in one of those girl cliques?' Roy said, trying to derail Jack's moment of triumph. 'She was in something called the Fashion Club.' 'No shit?' Jack said. 'Roy, why are you holding back? I knew that Sandi was fashionable but didn't know anything about a "Fashion Club"?'"


• My years with Daria, by CR85747 (COMPLETE!): "Whatever the case, the day-- sometime in February, I think-- when I found out during a particularly unnotable rerun of B&B that Daria – that's her name!-- was leaving Highland (apparently after particularly a profound session of plastic surgery) to star in her own show seemed to make sense to me."


• Oh, By The Way, by RLobinske (part 1): "Daria smiled at her father and then asked her mother, 'What about Quinn?' 'Their flight was delayed and they'll call when they land. Quinn said something about having an announcement to make. Do you have any idea of what she's talking about?' Helen said. Daria shook her head. 'Not a clue, Mom.'"


• Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'I mean that new girl has, like, turned everything upside down. She is popular despite her being a geek! We need to, like, put her in her place, before previously unpopular people become popular as a result of her example,' Sandi said. 'Ok,' Stacy said, not sure what Sandi had in mind. She watched Sandi eat up her food at a high speed. When she had finished eating Sandi got up. 'Come on, We're going to put that geek in her place.'"


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 39): "At the moment, however, she had her friend Stacy over to spend the night. She was kneeling at the other end of the bed, holding a mirror to her face and trying different varieties of lip gloss. It was Halloween night, but neither of them had dates. The funny thing was, neither of them cared. They were content to hang out together."


• Running High, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was only dimly aware of pain in her bare feet as they slapped against the gravel-strewn sidewalk, focused as she was on following Jake's car. It was pulling away from the house, but as it slowed to turn down another street something in Quinn clicked and she forced her legs to move a little more...a little closer...a little faster...and she made it."


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 7 and 8): "'Oh, that's wonderful dear. It's so nice that she's making friends her first time in this country.' His mother was all smiles as the food was brought out. 'She seems a very nice girl.' Tom neglected to mention where the two of them went on their night out. 'A night out' to Kay Sloane meant dressing up, the opera, and such. While Tom never discounted the importance of culture in a society, such things were not for him. 'I'm sure a night of pizza and bowling was worth the fun.' But leave it to Elsie to rain on someone else's parade." (Part 8)


• Super Daria Bros. (Iron Chef: Super Daria Sisters), by project pegasus (COMPLETE!): "DeMartino: AAARGH! You call THAT shooting a fire flower?! I was in Vietnam! My piss burned more after visiting the red light district of Saigon! Kevin: Oh yeah? (Kevin get right up into Mr. DeMartino's face with his fire flower). This will teach you to make inappropriate jokes about aggressive Western imperialism. (Kevin unleashes his fire flower full blast)"


• Unnamed story, by Kael Seoras: "All those people...they're cheering so loud...she's...popular? Gay and popular? And look at her smiling, glowing with happiness! Maybe if I would come out, I could still be popular...and happy..."


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'FOR LAWNDALE!!!' With an epic warcry Kevin Thompson, Champion of said town, charged forward, axe held high above his head and his scale mail darkened by the massive amounts of gore and blood that had splattered onto it."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn's Pat-a-Cake), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Well?!' bellowed Grand Lord Sponge, glaring down from the throne in his flagship. 'What is the status of Agent Chocolor? I want to know if this blue world is something to capture for the empire!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn's Pat-a-Cake), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'WHO DARES SUMMON M- oh hey, Quinn. What's up?' 'Hi, Annidax the Dark Unholy! Sorry to bug you or whatever, but I'm really really needing, like, something to get Kevin Thompson to pay attention to me, right?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn's Pat-a-Cake), by Jim North: "Quinn was thinking hard as she walked. Very hard. As hard as she could think. How was she going to get Kevin Thompson to notice her?" (Continued by Pumpkin Panic)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn's Pat-a-Cake), by Pumpkin Panic (COMPLETE!): "'I Really like chocolate cake, Johnny.' Quinn purred into the phone. 'It's Jamie. I meant thats awesome. I love chocolate.' This was a lie. He was really allergic to chocolate but Jamie was already looking theough the cabinet for cake mix but couldn't find any. 'It's my favorite.' Quinn continued. 'I wish I could have some.' 'I'll have one ready in an hour!' Jamie said pulling out the ingredients to make a cake by scratch."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn's Pat-a-Cake), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "For over a year that small cake sat in the pack of the fridge, hidden in its little box completely unnoticed. Then one day Jake while rummaging through the fridge came upon the package."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Big Three-Zero), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'I swear this is the last damn time I'm doing this' a five month pregnant Daria grumbled as she waddled into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice. Her husband came up behind her and gave her a warm hug cradling her body against his. 'You said that last time' he smiled kissing her neck, 'and the time before that'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chief: Daria cries...), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'I still don't know how Quinn won that year-long vacation. She claimed she never entered that contest.' Helen says as she wraps her arms around Jake. 'I'm sure she must have forgotten that she did it. Besides, she'll have a great time in Antartica watching the breeding habits of penguins.' Jake responds with a smile on his face."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by VPrad (COMPLETE!): "The woman turned around to face the figure lying beside her. She brushed away a lock of her beautiful auburn hair that was covering her face. She looked peaceful while she was sleeping. Her lover couldn’t stop thinking how beautiful she was, even when she didn’t intend to. Her big round glasses were lying in the nightstand. The artist loved how they looked on her, even though her significant other wasn’t so convinced about that. She would to say that she was talking more as a girlfriend than as an artist."


• Unnamed story (Whatever happened to Tommy Sherman), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman: I'm not dead! Morty the Mortician: Here -- he says he's not dead! Principal Li: Yes, he is."


• Worldburner: The Fixer's Finest Hour, by Charles RB (parts 2 - 4): "He'd been browsing the media and again found no signs of Judith, though he was now curious to know whether President Bradley was a commie destroying the economy & weak on terrorism or a great figure sorting out Afghanistan & fighting poverty. Oh well, next- The sky caught fire. No... something in the sky was on fire. Lots of somethings. 'Ah, that'd be the lovely Judith then...'" (Part 3)(Part 4)


• Worldburner: They Were Nine, by Erin M. (part 1): "It had been three months since Judith and her army from hell had come to Lawndale, burning everything in sight and killing anyone they found. Once the police and sheriff's departments had been wiped out, the survivors had gone to the one truly secure place in the town. Lawndale High. For once, all the security precautions Angela had installed in the school were actually useful. The school, plus the surprising contents of Mr. DeMartino's gun collection, enabled the survivors to hold out for almost a week."


• Worldburner: This is My BOOMSTICK!, by Brother Grimace (part 1): "'Ladies and gentlemen - this is the Armalite PFT-JK-11 concussive-force energy weapon - our own personal design,' the man said, holding up a rifle-style weapon with a non-reflective, black-matte finish that screamed "military issue" to those present in uniform. 'She’s designed for one thing – to kill every unholy bastard that’s fool enough to put itself in your sights.'"