Poison in the Sloppy Joe Mix

The episode "Gifted" first aired on this day in 1998. In it, Daria and Jodie decided to stick with the idiots at Lawndale High over the idiots at Grove Hills. We also met Jodie's parents and saw Quinn inflict her personality on Jane for an entire night. No wonder Jane was at the breaking point the next morning.

A few AU fanfics have explored what might happen if Daria were to attend Grove Hills. Charles RB wrote Grove Hell on Earth and a sequel, Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, in which Daria starts at Grove Hills upon arriving in Lawndale. Ajar wrote Regifted and an unfinished (jab, jab) sequel, Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, which branches off from "Gifted" and shows both Daria and Jodie attending Grove Hills from that episode onward.

Fanfic Update!

• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 6): "Daria Morgendorffer had always been shy. She never really mastered the 'social niceties' the way her friend Jane had done. Daria's love of academia was partly due to the nature of the community she adopted as her own. Eccentricity was the norm, and she was accepted as just another academic. So, a week wasted as she kept putting off what she wanted to do, all the while cursing her shyness."


• Coffee Break (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'I'm the queen of bad relationships,' Jane lamented with a roll of her china-blue eyes. 'I swear, there's no way I will enter into a relationship if it's not doomed.' 'Yeah?' Jane's smile widened as her hand was lifted from the glass and wrapped in a pair of long, warm hands. Their fingers wound together; it was a perfect fit. 'Well, now I'm wondering what I could possibly say to have a chance at a first date.'"


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Nothing could be more innocent than the part in that glossy auburn hair with that silky sheen on the temple; nothing could be more naïve... But what sickening envy the lecherous fellow whoever he was, would have experienced had he known that every nerve in me was still anointed and ringed with the desire of her distant body, the body of some immortal demon disguised as a female child."


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 6): "Dave: "Spike, I don't know what you're thinking, you fucking idiot, but PUNKS DON'T PLAY WITH KITTENS!" Spike: "But..." Dave: "I said, PUNKS DON'T PLAY WITH KITTENS!" (Dave closes the door and gently places the kitten on a bench between them) Dave: "Oh my God, it's like the cutest thing ever! Kittens rock!""


• Fate Leads to Another, by Temppeli (COMPLETE!): "The door of the room opened. Instead of hearing the hoarse voice of professor Zhekov, I heard a monotonic female voice. 'Zdravstvujte. Professor Zhekov is on his vacation...' I saw a woman in front of the lecture room. She was tiny, dark haired and pale and she wore round glasses and a formal suit. Somehow she resembled me, except she was about ten years older. 'My name is Darya Morgendorkova, and I'll be your substitute for next few weeks.'"


• Five Minutes to Midnight - 11:55, by untra (parts 4 - 8): "They looked at me all at once. Staring at me. Judging me. Who was this girl? Why was she here? Where did she come from? Is she new here? My stomach churned with discomfort and irritation. It always felt like this. Too many eyes, staring at me. It created a feeling of nausea and dirtiness- as if you had been covered in mud for days only to further deny yourself a shower." (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Homeless Daria Episode 2: You Invited This On Yourself, by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Brittany sweated. It wasn't that she had anything against punky girls like them, but the rest of the guests might be uncomfortable. 'Maybe if you helped me with school, too...' 'We don't go to school.' Jane said. 'You probably know more about all that stuff than we do by this point.' 'As if I didn't feel inadequate before...' Daria said." (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)


• I Was A Teenage Sex Kitten..., by Erin M. (part 4): "Jane turned to face the camera and fixed the lens with an alien stare that made the producers in the control room pale, and the cameraman want to piss himself. 'We WILL find you,' Jane said coldly, 'And when we do, and we're sure Mrs. Morgendorffer is safe, you are going to find out exactly why the most notorious toy in the Zippotronian arsenal is called a Paingasmer.'"


• J-D1-3 (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Civanfan (COMPLETE!): "The automaton resembled a unholy cross between Rosie the Robot, Futura from Metropolis, and a Sherman Tank. Sparks randomly flew from its hodge-podge body, (Adorned across its well-endowed steel chest with the hand-painted appellation of "J-D1-3") , along with occasional tiny bits of metal. One of its stubby wire-covered arms ended in an almost-human hand, the other terminated in a variety of tools, some of which looked rather sharp."


• Legion of Lawndale Heroes 'Mini': Cat's Night Out, by RLobinske (part 1): "He grinned and said, 'What are our two little security testers up to tonight? Find any interesting places you were not supposed to be and the security specialists swore was impossible to get into?' 'Meowrr maoror.' Bump said, beginning a stately walk past Armalin. We know that there's fish up there. 'Reorar,' Sissy said. And we'll find it."


• Not So Different 53: Coming To Terms, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny had enough trouble sounding enthusiastic on the rare occasions when he actually was enthusiastic. He couldn't make his congratulations sound sincere. He'd got the point at once: for two months Jane would be away from Lawndale and away from him. She wouldn't even respond to his endeavours to extract information about the location of the artists' colony. She just told Sonny that with her away he'd have that much more time for his 'budding social life'."


• Not So Different 54: Turning To Account, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "The hard part was when Sonny told his mother that she should make a point of going to the meeting and paying extra-close attention, especially if Principal Li started talking very quietly. His parents had to go to his mother's office Super Bowl party. Helen had even gone to the trouble of calling in favours from no less than five of her colleagues to get them to promise to talk with Jake. She suggested that if Sonny was so concerned about the review meeting, he should go himself. Damn! thought Sonny. I really should have known better than to light the fuse on that petard."


• Not So Different 55: Still Trying To Find A Map, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "His father squirmed and started involuntarily gurning. 'Uh, Sonny, if this is about ...' 'It's not about sex, if that's what you're thinking. Don't worry, true love waits.' 'True love?' Jake was wide-eyed with puzzlement. 'Is—but hold on, what does it wait for?' 'It was a joke, Dad. Don't worry, if I get pregnant you'll be the first one I tell.'"


• Of Another Man's Guitar, by peapotmaster (part 2): "FEMALE VOICE: Get in. MEG: Thanks. (The camera turns to see Daria Morgendorffer at the wheel, as the crowd cheers.) DARIA: What was that? MEG: You'll get use to it. My name is Meg Griffin."


• Requiem for a QB (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I am at a loss for words today,' Michael James Mackenzie said. 'A man that I have known my entire life is gone. The world has changed. I feel like Robert E. Lee at the death of Stonewall Jackson - that whereas he has lost his life, I am among the walking wounded. I am almost beyond consolation.'"


• Singed Rainbow, by Lord Yellowtail (parts 1 - 4): "When Rita's Ranger was on the rampage, Jason had been so caught up in his rage and fury at the way she had played them all -- took away Billy and watched as they nearly imploded in on themselves, none of them having realized just how important he was not just to their survival but team harmony as well -- that Jason hadn't realized what was going on until it was almost too late." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Single White Females (Iron Chef: Daria and Amelia: Roommates!), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Amelia walked into the dorm room wearing a long brown wig, large round glasses, and an outfit identical to Daria's. 'Hey, look at me. Now we look like sisters!'"


• Taming Of The Misery Chick (for adoption), by Ranger Thorne: "'I'm Shannon Miller, and I'm the director of this production of Taming of the Shrew. I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. I see we have some people returning from our other plays, and some new faces.' For a second, it seemed that she was looking right at Daria."


• The True Hollywood Story of Daria Morgendorffer, by DIsaac (parts 6 and 7): "This morning, The star of the MTV show 'Daria' is in jail! Actress Daria Morgendorffer was arrested outside of the home of her co-star Trent Lane in Los Alameda. Police said Morgendorffer was outside of the home yelling obscenities and throwing empty bottles of whiskey at his car and at his windows of his home. According to court files that we found, Morgendorffer was under a restraining order that was placed on her by Lane. MTV had no comment at the time." (Part 7)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Amelia: Roommates!), by eujennya (COMPLETE!): "Amelia: Hey, Daria! Isn't that.... boy underwear, over there on the floor next to your bed?"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Amelia: Roommates!), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat at her desk, headphones on full blast with her face buried in a book, yet she still couldn't drown out the noises from the other half of the room. With a sigh, she put the book down, took off her headphones, and, grabbing an icebucket from her closet, walked down to the communal kitchen. As she filled the bucket from the hotel-style ice machine, tapping her foot in impatience, another girl from their floor walked in."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "August 1942. The War was not going well for the Allies. Civilian plants that churned out automobiles, juke boxes, slot machines, typewriters and refrigerators were being slowly converted to manufacture tanks and airplanes and rifles and pistols and all the other hardware, large and small, of total warfare." (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Jodie walked up to Mack at school, a huge grin on her face. 'Hey,' he said, confused. The last he'd heard from her was on Friday, when she had broken their date. Again. 'Mack, I've found a solution for our problem!' she said, pulling him by the arm towards her car."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'So, have you told your family about your new hobby?' Jane asked, laying on Daria's bed and flipping thru a magazine. 'No, and I'll thank you to keep it that way,' Daria called from the closet as various articles of clothing flew out randomly."


• w4w, by Smijey (part 1): "She stopped just short of the table. 'Don't I know you?' she asked in a strangely accented, yet strangely familiar voice. 'Oh God,' Daria muttered, every inch of her skin turning red from a humiliation-flavored blush. 'You're Quinn's sis...cousin!' Sandi Griffin said, equally shocked and horrified. 'Oh God,' Daria repeated."

Boxing...Stacy?

Stacy is in her boxing gear to commemorate the infamous boxing match between Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield that took place on this day in 1997. In the match, Tyson bit off part of his opponent's ear. Check out Stacy's game face there--hope Sandi is wearing earmuffs.

Today is also the day the episode "Psycho Therapy" aired in 2000. There were lots of great moments in that one, including Quinn's regression into Cleopatra, Jake and the milk, and Helen's "Quinn...well, I can't even think about what happened there, not right now." Not to mention Tom shaking it for all the world to see!

Finally, happy 85th birthday to Mel Brooks, born on this day in 1926. I know there are at least a handful of Brooks fans in Daria fandom, so let's all wish Mr. Brooks a good one. I was going to pick out a quote from one of his movies to go here, but there are just so many hilarious lines that I can't choose. If you like, post your favorite in the comments!

Fandom News!

• Outpost Daria has been updated!


• Deref, currently in Nice, has posted a brief note about his trip so far.


• What nicknames have you been known by? Interesting stories abound!


• Erin M. posted an update on the Judith Saga.


• Ranger Thorne has put the beginning of a story, Taming Of The Misery Chick, up for adoption or a Round Robin.


• What do you think would be Daria's spirit animal?


• Two new Iron Chefs: Grifter74's Jodie the Inventor and cfardell_Brenorenz29's Daria and Amelia: Roommates!

"The Revolution Begins with Us"?

Happy anniversary to Helen and Jake, married on this day in 1975. Read their complete vows, which they have just done a bang-up job following through on. Cough.

Mike Yamiolkoski wrote an excellent fanfic, Committed, that makes excellent use of those vows and their repercussions. I won't say anything more specific, but read it now if you haven't already! (And if you have read it, go read it again!)

Poor Helen probably has pretty low expectations for today, considering Jake's past history. Hopefully he's learned a few things since their first anniversary--maybe this time the candle will actually look like a hobbit. God help Jake if he forgets the day entirely, though!

Congratulations on thirty-six years of marriage, Helen and Jake! In the wise words of Aunt Amy, that shows remarkable fortitude.

"Um, from here it looks like exactly a box."

It was ten years ago today that "Boxing Daria," the last regular episode of Daria, aired. It was a much more serious episode than usual, not only because it dealt with Daria's difficulties as a child but also because it included more dramatic elements like her near-accident in the car and her serious talk with Jane afterward (which started with an unusual--for Daria--hug).

It did have its moments of humor, though. Jane's "I need some chocolate. Unauthorized chocolate," and Quinn's "Stupid freaking carton...hard freaking labor...I'm only freaking human! How much can one freaking girl take? Even an enormously freaking popular one...." lines still make me laugh. Also, having the "herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains" bit come full circle was a nice touch.

A few fanfic writers have done stories that deal with the events of the episode in different ways:

• Mike Yamiolkoski's Outside the Box


• Smileyfax's Box to the Future and Daria's Box


• RLobinske's John Lane 50: Boxed In

While you enjoy those, I'll update the latest fanfic!

• The Blood of Doves (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (part 1): "Trent was racing through the light midday traffic seemingly at random while Stacy kept a careful eye on the rear view mirror. She still held the waiter’s gun in her right hand, and she absently ran her thumb over its smooth surface as she thought. There should be...four shots left, she concluded as she finished counting off how many rounds she’d spent. She studied the gun, a standard glock, fifteen shots in the clip. It wasn’t anything like what she’d have picked up normally, but then there was that whole saying about beggars and choosers."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 5): "Papers that were due Monday were due Monday. Death, your own or a family member or being burned out of your dorm room were just about the only excuses Daria would accept for the temporary delay in handing in a required paper. That Tuesday, one of the more aggressively dumb doofuses tried the 'My computer crashed' excuse."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Daria: (grabbing the entire contents of the closet and stuffing them in her blazer pocket with one stealthy motion) Done. Raven: How did you...? Daria: You still have much to learn, my Apprentice." (New part)


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Why you don't come to me?, why I can't love you?, why you don't come to me? Why you don't change like the sun?, why you are so aloof? why you don't change like the sun? I feel alone and confused at the same time, analysts can't understand. I don't know what I can say, I don't know what more do I do. Everybody's crazy and I not daring to see you. But if I insist, I know good I got you."


• Five Minutes to Midnight - 11:55, by untra (parts 1 - 3): "We had reached our new home only yesterday, but we had spent most of the day unpacking. Most of my stuff was still in the large cardboard box I had brought with me. I never had a chance to unpack my own few things. The school year was already two weeks in, but both me and my sister were nearly set to reenter the public school system." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Happy Quinn Meets the Kitten of Awesomeness, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Nothing could possibly spoil her day. It could only get better. And indeed it did." (Added part by ticknart)


• Homeless Daria Episode 2: You Invited This On Yourself, by RX-87 (parts 1 - 3): "'What? Wait, have you been drawing me?' Daria said, more surprised than irritated. 'Yeah. I wanted to have something to remember you by when you finally decide to ditch the gutterpunk life and settle down with a nice accountant or maybe a dental hygienist in the burbs and pop out 2.3 children.' Jane laughed." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 5): "'I want you back, Scarlett,' he said and stared at the water’s surface, 'even if you and your friends did try to kill me. After all, I do understand why you did it. It doesn’t matter - I still want you back.'"


• Id, by Smijey (part 1): "She evaluated the Ugly Thing dispassionately (not that She was capable of passion in the first place). Her first thought was that Its skull resembled the paddle of an oar, and She idly wondered if She scraped the skin off Its face whether it would be a wooden oar or a plastic one."


• Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 2): "'Woah!' Brittany piped up, 'Any game inspired by a creepy old cave must be really gloomy and depressing! I don't know if I want to play this...' The man muttered something under his breath that nobody could quite make out, but may have contained the words 'More perceptive than she looks...' He quickly cleared his throat and returned to form, 'Oh, but it's quite exciting, I assure you. You see, how it works is that each of you gets to take a turn piloting a giant robot!' He said with a flourish."


• Lamb’s Lament (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "I sighed. Suddenly I just wanted to sleep. Yeah, I never slept well. I always had these dreams.... But no matter how late you stay up, you gotta sleep sometime, you know? And before I could even do that much, I had to fish the glass outta my face, arms and legs, shower and wash the blood outta my hair. Do you have any idea how fuckin’ unpleasant it is to have blood in your hair? Especially when it’s long. Well, it’s fuckin’ hell. Sometimes shampoo just won’t do the trick, and I have to use turpentine." (Part 2)


• Not So Different 51: What's Going On Here?, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "It had been awkward for her at the beginning, when Sonny had made it quite clear that he didn’t like Tom and didn’t like Jane’s involvement with him. But gradually he’d warmed to Tom. Well, not exactly ‘warmed’. That wasn’t Sonny’s style. Still, in his own way he was getting along with Tom. That should make things easier for her. But ..."


• Not So Different 52: Surprise!, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "‘Fine. But if you’re breaking up with my best friend, Tom Sloane, then we’ve got nothing to talk about and no reason even to be in the same space.’ Sonny started to get out of the car. Tom reached out a hand, put it on Sonny’s shoulder, and said, ‘Wait.’"


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Come on. Do it for Friendship,' Jennifer said. 'Maybe,' Jane said. 'Then do it for the opportunity to look inside people's houses and find out what screwed-up tastes they have,' Daria suggested. Jane perked up. 'I'm bringing a Polaroid!'"


• Riding in Cars With Boys, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Mediocre music was played. Yet another group of random guys surrounded the two girls, who were by now more incoherent than impressed. Daria closed her eyes and took deep breaths in attempt to stop her head from spinning. She had not drunk enough to get her even tipsy, yet she was without a doubt knocked for a loop. Jane giggled beside her, obviously wasted, and Daria began to worry."


• Stacy Rowe, Seeker, by jtranser: "'Look, Dammit! I'm a vampire!!! Do I need to spell it for you? V-A-M-P-I-R-E!!! Got that?!! I'm supposed to be filming a furniture commercial aimed at the upscale vampire market, right?!! You know that?! Then what the hell am I doing in a cheap packing crate? Where is my coffin? No! This is NOT a coffin!!! Look! It says it's a sofa crate shipped from Taiwan! It's says so right on the side! And so where is my ebony coffin with the hand rubbed finish and expensive silk satin lining? The one that's stipulated in my contract? Huh? Huh?! WHERE IS IT?!!...'"


• The True Hollywood Story of Daria Morgendorffer, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 5): "An icon of the 90's and on two shows that were landmarks of the decade. But off the screen who was she really?" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Two Halves: Chapter 6 - Role Models, by Dark Kuno (part 6): "'Now, dahling, what could possibly be your objection?' asked Romonica as she moved towards Alex and Quinn and cast a critical glance towards the taller boy. 'You do like boys, don't you?' 'Well of course I like boys. But they'd have to dress a lot better than he does. I mean basic black is pretty much a universal neutral, but those gaudy glasses would have to go, or maybe a slimmer frame or something, and he'd have to have a nice car, oh and like, not be my brother and stuff,' rambled Quinn."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "He wondered, idly, if he should have felt guilty about what had happened. If he hadn't enjoyed the softness of her body so much, if he hadn't been so eager to indulge her cravings, perhaps she'd still be with him. Kidney Failure was what it said on the death certificate. In truth, it could have been any number of things. Perfection always has its price."

Phooooone Hoooooome!

It was fourteen years ago today that the Air Force released a report on the infamous Roswell UFO Incident of 1947. According to the report, the "aliens" sighted were actually test dummies. Do you believe them? All I know is, even test dummies would be more intelligent life than Tiffany is.

Fandom News!

• Many have been affected by an ash cloud from a Chilean volcano. Share your thoughts or offer your good thoughts in the thread.


• Boston Dariacon 2011 is tentatively being planned for July 22. Post in the thread if you can make it!


• If you haven't already seen The Canterbury Tales in Middle English, now's your chance!


• A list of Australians' most trusted people has sparked a deeper discussion.


• Erin M. is looking for advice on his future move.


• Thanks to a website, some confusion has arisen about Daria and Quinn's actual ages. Put in your two cents!


• Talk about The Rocky Horror Picture Show's upcoming UK cinematic re-release in the thread.


• Check out Weird Al's take on Lady Gaga in his latest parody video.


• People are discussing a new UK TV series: Penn & Teller: Fool Us.


• OverlordMikey started a discussion about the Daria cast in Shakespeare plays.

College, Carson, Cyndi, and Chocolate!

On this day in 1944, President Franklin Roosevelt signed the G.I. Bill into law. It offered support to returning soldiers who wished to pursue their education, among other things. Unfortunately for Trent, I don't think any colleges--then or now--included "Sleeping with a Guitar in Your Hands 101" as a course.

Happy birthday to both Carson Daly, born in 1973, and Cyndi Lauper, born in 1953. Carson Daly voiced the character David Sorenson in the movie Is It Fall Yet?, in which he attempted the impossible--teaching anything to Sandi, Stacy, and (gulp) Tiffany. Kudos to you for trying, you brave soul!

Cyndi Lauper and Metalmouth would both like to remind you all that Girls Just Want To Have Fun! Don't worry about that noise outside the car. It was probably just raccoons or something. Feel free to let your guard down, okay?

Most importantly of all (in my opinion, anyway), today is National Chocolate Eclair Day! A chocolate eclair was featured in The Angst Guy's Feeding Frenzy, although for some reason the characters in the fanfic had their minds on...other things.

Fanfic Update!

• Chance Encounters (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'7-A,' Nick confirmed. 'You know what to do.' 'Professional,' Trent muttered in distaste as he jogged toward the building. 'That's my boy,' Nick crooned, then the line went dead."


• Chuckovers (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Too many great one-liners to quote just one. Go read them yourself!


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Mack shook his head. 'Doesn't seem worth it to me.' 'So, McKinley giving us a brand new drive system on top of twelve million IEC Trust doesn't appeal to you?' Daria asked flatly. Mack paused, considering this for a long, long moment. 'Objection withdrawn, fearless leader.'"


• The Happy-Go-Lucky Fic (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'Daria," said Dr. Johnson, "You can come in now.' 'Thanks for seeing me today Doctor. How is everything?' 'Well, we've finished all your tests. Still, I have some good news and some bad news.'"


• Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 1): "'Why are we at a beach party?' Daria asked the same way a suspected terrorist might say 'Why are we in Cuba?' 'Do the words free food mean nothing to you?' Jane smirked. 'Besides... this might be our last chance to see everybody. You can't tell me you're not gonna miss any of them at all?' 'You're telling me you are?' Daria said sceptically as she took a bite of the dog."


• It's Eureka, Daria: A Walk in the Woods, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Following the new path, Daria said, 'Since my family moved to Eureka, I've been turned into a living light bulb, I've had to save half the town from the malfunction of a nuclear rocket bunker and now I'm tracking down a lost robot. When does Global Dynamics start giving me hazardous duty pay?' 'Trust me,' Dawn said. 'You haven't seen anything close to what GD considers hazardous duty.' 'Yeah, we just take our lives in our hands when we wake up every morning,' Daria said. 'That's not hazardous duty around in Eureka, that's just life.'" (Part 4)


• Life After Highland Ch. 1: Rush This!, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "When Daria was finished, she looked like she was going to start crying again. Daria excused herself and headed for the bathroom. As she was wiping her face off, she saw Brittany walk in and stand behind her. When Daria turned around, Brittany wrapped her in a warm embrace."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 9: Hard Time, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Damn elephant in the car,' Daria muttered, then asked, 'Mack, why are you wanting to go out with me?' 'What?' 'You heard me,' she said, looking at him." (Epilogue)


• Morgue and Morgendorffer (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by gwrtheyrn (part 1): "The humid, baking heat in the street was terrible: the airlessness all about her, and that special Maryland stench, so familiar to all who are unable to distance themselves from the Chesapeake in summer--all worked painfully upon the young woman's already overwrought nerves. From time to time, she would mutter something, from the habit of talking to herself, to which she had just confessed."


• Not So Different 49: All Is Grist That Comes To The Mill, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'You haven't heard that story?' Sonny turned his chair towards Jane as if he were settling himself for a longer talk. Jane looked at her watch. 'Listen, I said I'd meet Tom for pizza, but why don't you tag along? It sounds like the kind of thing he might be interested in hearing too.' 'Well—if you're sure I won't be in the way.'"


• Not So Different 50: Fortune Spins Its Wheels, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'After my experience of life, can you expect me to believe in guardian angels? Can you expect me to agree that it's good for somebody to believe in guardian angels?' He held up the fifty-dollar bill between the fingers of both hands and flexed his wrists and knuckles to make it crackle. 'Better to learn to be your own guardian angel.' He put the money in a pocket and left the room."


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'Futurama, 10%. Lord of the Rings, 30%. Halo,75%. World of Warcraft, 95 %. The Matrix, 80%. Battlestar Galactica 45 %. Wheel of Time, 25%. Redwall, 55%. Back to the Future, 70 %.' Tori then listed a few more, some not even sci-fi or fantasy. 'I get the point!' Stacy said, even though she liked some of the stories listed. 'Yes. Tori, I see that the games have become very popular. That is why we need to destroy the Geekendorffer's popularity!' Sandi said."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 13): "'Daria.' She thought as she sank into the bed that was still slightly too soft. 'Do you think like I do? That this all started way back when? Well, of course you don't know yet, I've been here by myself. But, if you wanted to come out here, I wouldn't say no.' Kim thought to herself. She didn't believe in psychic powers, Daria couldn't hear her. But it was a nice, slow thought that helped her get to sleep."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 6: That Party Last Night!, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JANE: Yes we will -You Writer. Me Artist. Yeah we will be starving but we will have our dignity! DARIA: Last time I checked dignity isn't a form of currency. JANE: So you are saying? DARIA: Grab a mop, Scruffy. JANE: Dammit, Morgendorffer." (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "The shaking finally stops, and I pull myself up to my knees. My katana scrapes noisily across the metal floor, but the sound doesn't end when I stop moving the weapon. Did I think before that I was going to be alone on the other side of the veil? I was wrong." (New part)


• Tony Sees the Light (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Kevin walked into DeMartino's class ten minutes before first period. DeMartino glared dispassionately at the youth, but the expression slipped when he took in the uncharacteristic pensive expression on the boy's face. 'Uh, Mr. De? Can I ask you a favor?'"


• Unnamed story (Proposed Iron Chef: 1,000 Jakes), by Grifter74: "Jake woke to the sounds of an air raid siren, something he hadn't heard since he was a kid. Looking around, Jake was sure he was in his office, but something was off. Before, he could take a closer look, he heard Quinn shouting, 'Daddy, we got to go to the shelter. Those stupid monsters are attacking again.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Babies are faaaaaaat,' said Tiffany, heading to the maternity ward with blank eyes. 'Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...'"

L8er, Sk8ers!

Today is Go Skateboarding Day, which Daria is observing with uncharacteristic glee on the right. I don't remember much (if any) skateboarding in canon, but I'm sure Kevin would find a way to injure himself in hilarious ways while on a board.

Also, the Northern Hemisphere will experience the Summer solstice today, at 17:16 UTC. At that time, the Earth will be tilted on its axis toward the sun at maximum. That means it will be the longest day of the year as well as the official start of summer. Party on!

Finally, and not to be forgotten, Cyrus Hall McCormick, Sr., patented his mechanical reaper on this day in 1834. Why is this important? Why, because how else will Daria get the most she can out of her college education?

Lisa: But what are you hoping to reap from your Bromwell experience?

Daria (VO): Reap? Reap? Reap reap!

Fandom News!

• vlademir1 has a bit of an odd request regarding Prussian Army officer uniforms.


• Daria appears as a special guest in in a music video found by DIsaac!


• A couple new "favorite" threads in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum: Who's your favorite "second string" Looney Tune? and Who is your favorite cartoon villain?


• Post and discuss various comics and webcomics in the dedicated group thread.


• A new activity started by Roentgen: And the moral of the story ISSSS....


• Lord Yellowtail posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: 1,000 Jakes.

Have a Good One, Jake-O!

Happy Father's Day, everyone! Jake will probably celebrate by reading the paper, drinking martinis, and ranting about Mad Dog. How that differs from any other day is anyone's guess.

Fanfic Update!

• Behind A Glass Enclosure (Long Story Challenge #4, Round 2), by LadieT (part 2): "Curtis pulled out an old wadded up dollar bill. He stared at the 1993 Washington in his hand for a moment. It was the best of years, it was the worst of years. He handed the bill to Charlotte, told her goodbye, and headed for the tiny employee parking area. As he drove his bike back towards Lawndale, he looked up to see the Giant Strawberry. He tried to focus on the road, but his mind drifted back to another time."


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (part 4): "'I'll talk to you on Friday and I'll see you in a couple of weeks. I know you're going to impress them all. I just hope your sister doesn't make your life a living hell while you're here. I love you,' Dorian whispered. 'I love you, too. Try not to get hurt and good luck with your writing class. Talk to you soon. Daria - take care of him,' Jane's voice cracked."


• Deleted Scenes from the Punkverse: Achy Jakey Heart (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'And this medication tastes like ASS!” said Jake. 'JAKE!!' responded Ruth, 'How could you possible know what ass tastes like?'"


• Esteeming Out The Gutter, by RX-87: "He gazed at Daria, hope finally returning to his eyes, 'Do you want to talk about Jesus?' O'Neill said excitedly. 'No thank you.' Daria said, flashing a Mona Lisa smile you'd need a high speed camera to catch, 'I was born a Cthulhu cultist, I'll die a Cthulhu cultist.'" (New part) (Next new part)


• Eternal Return and Other Theories, by Stripey (part 3): "The minor adrenaline rush wore off, and later she would remember nothing past looking at the computer screen, knowing everything was taken care of, and feeling all of the stress drain out of her. Evidently it was all that had been keeping her upright."


• God Save The Esteem Ep31: Achy Jakey Heart, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Helen looked to Daria, who stood ramrod straight and pale skinned. Amy touched her sister’s hand, pointed upwards: ‘go’. The punk gratefully headed upstairs to handle Jake, Amy moved in closer to Daria; all done in two seconds. Quinn had looked concerned but was going back to her book, so no immediate crisis. (A quick glance showed Erin was moving closer to Eve) 'Hey sprat. You want to-' Daria nodded." (Bonus part)


• The Hollow Heads Of Fielding (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "*Tom is shocked to see Pat Seven with a huge mohawk, though still dressed horrendously preppy.* Tom: What in God's name have you done to yourself? Pat: Isn't it great? Now Killer Quinn's sure to notice me!"


• Hungry Eyes (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Uh... what are you doing? And who are you?' The girl asked. It was Tom's sister, Elsie. Jane was a deer caught in headlights; this wasn't the way she expected to meet her boyfriend's sister for the first time. Rather than try to respond, she closed the fridge, zipped up her bag, and walked out. Elsie, still stunned at what she witnessed, walked into the den. 'I sure hope that was that girlfriend of yours emptying our kitchen just now,' she said."


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 4): "James put his pencil down and got up. He went directly to the desk without looking at the other students. He walked quickly and stopped right in front of Hans and asked him what he wanted. 'Do you have a problem? You haven't moved in so long I was wondering if you were attempting to be a human sculpture.' 'Uh, actually, I have a question.' 'Well, what is it?' James leaned in and said, 'It's kind of embarrassing.'"


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 4), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Then it may not be psychosomatic. It could be a problem with the speech center,' the psychologist said. 'Great! We have gone around in circles,' Jennifer said. 'But her voice is improving,' the nurse said. 'Not quickly enough,' Kristen murmured. 'What was that?' the nurse asked. 'Nothing,' Kristen said."


• The NEW Teacher (Long Story Challenge #5 Round 1), by DIsaac (part 1): "I can't believe it! He finally did it. After taking Janet Barch's crap for three years - Michael “Mack” Mackenzie finally acts and does something about it. Of course we are talking about Mack so he didn't snap and yell at her. What the point in that!"


• No Power in the Verse Can Stop Them, by Hyrin (part 3): "Her hands bound, Daria sat on the transport as it lifted off, letting her see the full effect of the Alliance’s carpet-bombing of Serenity Valley. Jane sat across from her, crying silently. Andrea was in the back, a medic working frantically to save her life. months later, all three were released from the prisoner camp after the Independents surrendered unconditionally. She learned shortly after that she was the only Browncoat who had laid down arms in the entire battle."


• Not So Different 46: Knowing Each Other, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "His parents’ relationship puzzled him a little—on the rare occasions when he let himself think about it at all. Presumably both of them were getting something out of it ... Sonny’s thoughts swerved promptly from the subject of his parents’ marriage and back to the immediate surroundings."


• Not So Different 47: Seeing More Than Some Would Like, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "As they got out of the car, Sonny’s mother introduced the whole family, but it was Sonny the white coats zoomed in on. When his mother asked for an explanation, the lead representative of the Combine handed her a clipboard with Sonny’s questionnaire. ‘Favourite pastime: resurrection?’ She glared at Sonny. He averted his gaze and said, ‘I also enjoy making the lame see, the fat hear, and the bald dance.’"


• Not So Different 48: Unusual Perceptions, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "‘You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to tell you what you should do to solve your problem, I’m only going to charge you five dollars for my advice, and I’m going to give you a money-back guarantee if it doesn’t work. I must be getting soft in my old age.’ ‘Five dollars?’ ‘That’s a bargain rate and you know it. Or you can try to solve your problem without my advice.’ Quinn grudgingly pulled out the money and handed it to him. ‘Fine.’"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'Any time a new God steps in, they're accompanied by a ceremonial guard.' 'Fine, do they have to be human?' 'No, they can be any creature You choose.' 'You mean I can have a retinue of liveried hippopotami?' 'Well, yes, Daria, but I strongly advise against it. You need to consider what unintended consequences might occur.'"


• When Boston Freezes Over (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Uh...yeah,' Jane said. 'Actually...my boyfriend is helping me bring the rest of my crap upstairs.' 'Boyfriend?' Daria said. 'You move fast.' 'No, he's a guy from Lawndale.'"

Steamy Homework Action!

Ten years ago today, the episode "My Night at Daria's" first aired. (Just as a head's up to the DariaWiki folks, the airdate is listed correctly in one place as June 18th in the article and incorrectly in another as June 11th.) (ETA: Now fixed. Thanks, TheExcellentS!)

The episode gave us a graphic portrayal of the passionate night Daria and Tom spent together, as you can see on the right. Hawt.

Fandom News!

• A couple of music-related questions for those who can help: HolyGrail2007's Anyone know classical music? and Staticblast's Harpsichord music?


• A change has been made in the uniforms of the U.S. Army. What are your thoughts?


• Kael Seoras has started making commentaries on movies and TV shows. Find the link in the thread!


• A new discussion has started regarding Barch and the LGBT Community.


• Roentgen has devised The Sue Scale to rank fictional secondary characters.


• Share your favorite Rory Williams Facts! (Spoilers lurk within!)


• Brother Grimace has a question about Brittany and martial arts.

And Speaking of Electricity...

...a caption contest inspired by the previous post!

Post your captions in the comments!

A Shocking Experiment!

On this day in 1752, Benjamin Franklin supposedly performed his famous kite/electricity experiment. Anthony DeMartino is attempting to recreate it, but that lightning can't be good for his eye.

Another significant event happened in fanfic ten years ago today, in Angelinhel's story 61501. Read the story to find out what it was, but you might want to brace yourself.

And speaking of fanfic, here's today's update:

• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (parts 2 - 4): "Something... a memory? A memory of a memory? Something was trying to make itself known in her mind, but was it actually a real memory? She knew better than to attempt to force it to the surface, That was a certain way to kill it. It'll come to her eventually." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "(Raven glares at her) Daria: (spitting out the wine) What? (looking at the bottle) Oh yeah, hehe. (suddenly defensive) What makes you think that this isn't my bottle of wine? Raven: (snatching the bottle from Daria's hands) Because you aren't guzzling that wine out of a box!"


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Let me evoke that scene in all its trivial and fateful detail: Potts writing out a receipt, shaking his head, pulling a drawer out of her desk, pouring change into my impatient palm, spreading a Lincoln over it with a bright '...and five!'; photographs of girl-children; the framed diploma of the camp's dietitian; my trembling hands; a card produced by efficient Potts with a report of Daria Morgendorffer's behavior for July ('fair; keen on verbal fencing'); an echo of trees and birds, and my pounding heart ..."


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 5): "Daria: 'Listen. I'm not going to go into some long-winded monologue to try and get my point across right now. That's not my way. It's as simple as this. Axis, you have taken your last drops of blood from us. The only blood that will spill inside that ring tonight... will be your own. We are the riders of your apocalypse, and this will be the end of your days.'"


• Lawndale Fighters: Suburban Warriors, by Erin M.: "It is not the Lawndale you know... In a world out on the far isolated edges of the Daria Multiverse is an undisturbed world. A dimension that has never been touched by any outside interference. And with good reason. It is a world at war with itself."


• Let's (Not) Kill Hitler (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'You couldn't kill Hitler on your Hitlerist killing day!' Daria said. 'You couldn't kill Hitler with an electronically-operated, positronic-powered Hitler killing machine! You couldn't kill Hitler with a map marked "Hitler is here" and if Hitler was wearing a sign on his head marked KILL HERE.'"


• Little Jane, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "My name's Janey Laney, and I'm only four years old! Today, my mommy told me we were going to Arrowzona to see some pretty pictures and pots and stuff. I wish my brother Trent could come, but mommy says he's big enough to look after himself now. He's ten! So mommy left him at the art colony (I want to go someday!) and I gave him a biiiiiig hug goodbye. He promised to write every week, and I promised to get mommy to read alllll his letters!"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 9: Hard Time, by Hyrin (part 6): "Daria continued pacing as Helen knocked softly and opened the door without waiting for a reply. 'Girls? How would you feel about getting off your punishment a little early?' 'Not a problem at all,' Jane said quickly. 'Fine by me,' Daria added."


• Man of the House, by Smijey: "Most of the remaining guests had the good taste to leave. Helen stayed because Quinn didn't want to leave Erin or Daria and Jane; I stayed because Daria and Jane didn't want to leave Quinn or Erin. All the other people who stayed did so simply to see if the evening would sour any more. They got their wish."


• No Power in the Verse Can Stop Them, by Hyrin (parts 1 and 2): "Daria double-checked her pistol –an ancient but lovingly maintained Beretta from Earth-That-Was- and descended the ramp of her ship, watching anxiously as she maneuvered through the crowds. Approaching Badger's office building, she stepped aside as three people walked out, obviously angry. Was that…? That was Mal Reynolds! What in the flying Hell is he doing talking to a low-life like Badger?! Come to think of it, what am I doing talking to him?" (Part 2)


• Not So Different 44: Failure As A Middle Name, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Jane grinned. 'Thanks again.' She tipped her head to one side and decided it was safe to joke with him. He was still the same Sonny Morgendorffer as ever. 'Come round on Saturday so I can show you my appreciation by taking you out for pizza. I'll be waiting in bed for you with nothing but a sheet on.' Sonny raised an eyebrow in recognition. 'And I'll tell you to hurry up and get dressed and go downstairs to wait for you.'"


• Not So Different 45: Happens While Making Other Plans, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'So why are three boys trying to get on to our float?' 'Tiffany!' said Sandi. 'I am surprised at you! Have you learned nothing? How can we know that we are upholding the very highest standards of the Fashion Club if we do not have boys running after us?' 'Oh', said Tiffany. 'Right', she added, as Sandi and Stacy moved towards the back of the float, where the three boys were now trying to get aboard. Quinn stared helplessly."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 6: Divas NOT Wanted!, by DIsaac (parts 8 and 9): "UPCHUCK: So how do I know when everybody has enough? MACK: For Daria, listen for “Quinn”. UPCHUCK: Quinn? MACK: Not the lawyer extraordinaire Quinn Mercer we know and love but Quinn Morgendorffer in high school - Annoying voice and all. If Daria starts sounding like Quinn it's time to get the drinks away from Daria." (Part 9)


• Unnamed story (Bits & Pieces that just BEG to be made into Daria FanFic), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Running for the TARDIS, the Doctor yelled over his shoulder, 'Morgan Song, make sure they get home!' Before anyone would intervene, he was inside and the TARDIS was gone."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "She's falling."

Horizontal Stripes...Ewwwww.

Today is Flag Day in the U.S., which commemorates the day in 1777 that Congress adopted the United States Flag. The number of stars on the flag has changed quite a few times since then, which is probably why Tiffany is so busy on the right--she's got a lot of catching up to do. Could someone please make sure she knows how to count to fifty?

Fandom News!

• Charles RB has some shocking news: Amelia bought out Pizza King!


• The Angst Guy is looking for help with HTML and browsers.


• Tracy Grandstaff weighs in on Trent VS Tom and more in an interview with Diablo Cody.


• A spin-off thread from the "On 'Bitch'" discussion: Person VS. People.


• Talk about the latest news about Marvel's X-Men comic books in the thread!


• Erin M. has a new setting idea: Lawndale Fighters: Suburban Warriors.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: TOS Your Titles!

By Any Other Name....

Happy Red Rose Day! Celebrate it by stopping to smell the above-mentioned roses, giving one to that special someone, or throwing an entire bouquet of them in the trash after being stood up by your girlfriend. Or you can ignore red roses entirely and check out today's fanfic update!

• Adobe Nights (IC "You Look Familiar" Entry), by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "She tried to swear, but was too busy fighting off what felt like her lungs trying to escape through her throat as she staggered over to one of the alley walls, grabbing a trashcan with both hands and willing her lungs to pull their shit together long enough for her to get some air before she fucking passed out alone in a back alley in East LA. She managed to steady herself enough to lift a hand from the trashcan and pull her rebreather towards her lips, but it wouldn’t do her much good if she couldn’t get some air, like, five minutes ago. Breathebreathebreathe--"


• Bad Timing (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria had just stepped out of the shower when the bathroom door swung inward and Max stood staring from the doorway. 'Uh....' he commented smartly, just before a bottle of body lotion met his forehead with considerable force."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 1): "As she sat on her sofa and went through the day's mail, there was a birthday card from her parents. Happily retired to Florida 5 years previously, the letter contained a check from Mom and Dad, $2000 dollars, the annual birthday share of the proceeds from the sale of the house in Lawndale."


• Dimwits & Dragons, by Ken T. (part 6): "Daria looked up at her friend, 'If you could manage Mystik Spiral on the road, this should be a cake walk. Just find Mack, get his bow, beat the warlord and do me a very big favor.' Jane sighed, 'OK, what?' Daria reached out and wrapped her arms around her friend, 'Don't die.'"


• Doctor Who – The Many Doctors (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The Doctor told his companions to run. They ran to a nearby park and hid behind some trees before the figures in the ship could see them. 'What are they Doctor?' Felicia asked, wondering whether this was what the TARDIS was disturbed about. But at the moment she thought that thought, though, she knew that it wasn’t what the TARDIS was disturbed about. The TARDIS was disturbed about something else."


• God Save The Esteem Ep31: Achy Jakey Heart, by Charles RB (parts 5 and 6): "The two women were both dressed demurely and properly, but that was the only similarity: Grandma Ruth showed her age, while Aunt Eve looked younger than fifty at first glance. At second glance, the unwrinkled skin was due to makeup and her chestnut brown hair was a dye job and her eyes looked as tired as her mother’s. At second glance, Daria thought, they looked the same after all." (Part 6)


• Man of the House, by Smijey: "'Come on, your holiness,' Daria chided. '"A wild, rolling, surging ocean of love"? Don't tell me that's from the Bible.' 'You said what?' I asked, leaning over the fallen man of the cloth. 'You said WHAT to my daughter?' An icy clamp had settled over my heart, and for once the Old Man shut up without having been drowned in an ocean of beer."


• The New J's, by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "She had come a long way from the clothing obsessed little brat she had been, she thought idly as she gazed down at her holey jeans and baggy sweatshirt. Much to her chagrin, she realized she was wearing two different shoes. Gawd, she groaned inwardly, What happened to me?"


• Not So Different 41: A Hard Journey And Back Again, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "In retrospect, Jane had been right to suggest that there was the possibility of something good from going to that stupid medieval fair. Of course, he’d done that with Jane, and she had wanted to go, but she didn’t want to go on this hill trek. Or at least that’s what she’d told him. But now that he thought about it, she’d been careful to find out his opinion first before giving hers. He looked at the money again. The point of a fifty-dollar bill was to get fifty dollars of value out of it ...."


• Not So Different 42: Bad And Good Ideas, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "‘Say, babe ...’, he began, but Jane cut him off. ‘I have a boyfriend’, she said, and, as Sonny finished writing, tore a page out of his notebook and handed it to her, ‘He goes to another school.’ ‘Is he a loser too?’ ‘Do you know’, Jane said, ‘the idea of asking him has never crossed my mind?’"


• Not So Different 43: Impossible, Barely Possible, Only Too Likely, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Lane made the final adjustments to Jacob’s pre-prepared mask. They’d already fitted the rest of his disguise. Ruttheimer was monitoring the security system as Mack broke them into the building. Now it was time for a quick check to make sure that the earpiece was still working under the mask. Jacob pointed at Lane and she spoke softly into her microphone. When she came through five by five he made a ‘thumbs up’ gesture and then pointed at Mack to test his microphone. After a second ‘thumbs up’, he signalled everybody into position."


• The Ol' Switcheroo (Iron Chef: Stealing Tom), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Sandi checked her hair one last time, making sure no roots showed. She checked herself in the full length mirror, then nodded. Perfect."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 6: Divas NOT Wanted!, by DIsaac (part 7): "(Doorbell rings) UPCHUCK: That must be Stacy, Dani and Lizzy. (The crew gives Upchuck a confused look) UPCHUCK: Chipmunk's real name is Lizbeth. Lizzy is short for Lizbeth. (The crew still gives Upchuck a confused look) UPCHUCK: You people don't pay any attention to anything."


• Tom Sloane's Rainbow Six (Iron Chef: Stealing Tom), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat in OpsCent, the feeds from a dozen monitors - CCTV recordings, satellite footage, intel reports, recon footage from Backgrounder 1 and 2 - reflecting on her glasses. The Cashman's warehouse was large and open, no place for a small team; they'd be cut down by the enemy in seconds. A rooftop strike would get them to the hostage fast - it was clear he was in a first-floor office - but getting there..."


• Unnamed story (Bits & Pieces that just BEG to be made into Daria FanFic), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "In time, she heard her mother go to bed and then the silence returned. Worry and fear kept sleep at bay. Until a rhythmic sound outside her window drew her curiosity. A sound that she completely didn't recognize. Curiousity overcoming fear, she crawled out of bed and went to the window to peek out. Maybe her father had come home."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "Jane was stepping back from her canvas looking at her work. She had been at Ashford for a while and had been blacking out while painting the past few days. Her muse would do that from time to time when she had to figure out a major part of her life. The panting she had made was full of burnt out husks of people after what looked to be a nuclear blast. But at the epicenter there were two piles of ash. Black surrounded the piles for most of the painting. She had outlines of flames still burning but with black and blue only no red or yellow or orange."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Jane threaded her way down the hall and came upon her former boyfriend’s room and went inside without knocking. The occupant of the room had his father’s weather beaten fedora balanced on his head at an angle and was packing at a pace that suggested enemy soldiers were about to storm the mansion. 'Okay, Indiana Sloane, just what the hell’s going on?' Jane asked as she put a fist on her hip."

Aloha...Eep!

Today is Kamehameha Day, a Hawaiian holiday that celebrates Kamehameha I, the first King of Hawaii. Stacy seems to be having fun, but just wait until Sandi catches her wearing that outfit.

Amy also sends this postcard from her vacation in Hawaii: "Dear Sis, you'd love island life. Beautiful sun, wonderful people, umbrella drinks up the kahaualea. Only thing is, you'd have to take a vacation. Oh well, sorry I brought it up. My love to all, Amy."

Fandom News!

• Congratulations to Brian Taylor, who just completed his undergraduate education!


• It's the 25th Anniversary of the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off! Share your favorite moments in the thread.


• A new game in Deep Thoughts: Operation FMK.


• What do you think about calling Daria characters "bitches"?


• Discuss cartoon characters who form a single entity in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Stripey reminds everyone that Daria Fanworks Day is on Tuesday, June 14th!


• Vukodlak posted a new Iron Chef: Stealing Tom.

"And everyone else is full of...full of...full of...."

Fourteen years ago today, the episode "Pinch Sitter" first aired. In it, we learn that Hitler ate sugar, that Skylar Feldman's family owns a boat, and that no one will ever ask to see your permanent record. Very educational, and I haven't even used the word "indemnification" yet!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "I have no reason to dwell on the pre-funeral formalities that had to be attended to, or on the funeral itself. But I should tell a few incidents pertaining to those four or five days after Helen's sudden death."


• Esteeming Out The Gutter, by RX-87: "'Ok, now I'm curious.' Jane said, simultaneously concerned and pruriently excited. 'I'd love to hear your story.' Daria shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 'I don't know. I mean, you seem pretty cool, Jane, but... we've just met. I dunno if I wanna get into personal shit...' 'Aw, that's cool.' Jane said warmly. 'Would it help if I told you more about myself? You show me yours if I show you mine?' She winked suggestively."


• God Save The Esteem Ep31: Achy Jakey Heart, by Charles RB (part 4): "'I'm going to become a doctor, Daddy!' squeaked Quinn. 'Dr Quinn, medicine moron,' mumbled Daria to herself (Amy gave her a brief, concerned look). 'That's great, Quinn! Avenge my d- Erm.' 'It's nice to know that the experience hasn't changed you,' said Daria."


• Good Morning Daria (Iron Chef: If I Forget You: Daria's Turn), by Vukodlak (part 1): "'What happened to me?' she finally muttered as her parents pulled away and sat down. Helen wiped a few tears from here eyes. 'You were in an car accident sweetie you've been in a medically induced coma for the past week until the swelling went down.'"


• It's Eureka, Daria: A Walk in the Woods, by RLobinske (parts 1 and 2): "Jane stopped at a bulletin board and took a flyer from the wall. With a grin, she said, 'Don't need to worry about it if we're on a field trip to Global Dynamics.' Daria said, 'What's that?' 'Dr. Zhukarov is looking for two test operators for a new off-road walker. It could be fun, we don't need a driver's license, and we get out of class.'" (Part 2)


• Justice, Vengence, Catharsis, by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "The dark-haired lanky figure strode out of the prison facility sorting his recently returned personal items into his pockets, having already put his earrings back in place and the rings back on his fingers. The last item was his cell phone that an associate had made sure was paid up and charged. He flipped it open and pressed the power button, pleased when it came on. As he moved to put the phone into a pocket, it rang."


• Not So Different 39: Green-Eyed, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Jane turned her head back towards him and stopped smiling. 'Huh? Sorry.' She turned her head to look at the boy again. 'That guy keeps looking at me.' She started smiling again. 'Well, either he's mistaken me for a girl in the bad light in here or he's wondering whether he can cut me out. I'm going to the bathroom anyway, that'll give him his chance. Or both of you.'"


• Not So Different 40: Can't Win, Can't Break Even, Can't Quit The Game, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Tom offered them both a ride home. Had he forgotten that Sonny had told him he'd never ride in that car, and that he himself had called that 'common sense'? It still looked like common sense to Sonny, and besides, he was only two doors from home. He declined civilly. Jane hopped into the car, and after farewells all round it drove off. Left entirely to himself, Sonny sighed."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 6: Divas NOT Wanted!, by DIsaac (part 6): "JANE: You and Tom went out again! DARIA: But it didn't work out. Actually - It was a lesson in 'Let sleeping dogs lie' for me. JANE: I kind of figure you'd float back to him as there is no such thing as a clean break. There will be some fragments of bones floating around there. DARIA: Comparing love to a broken ankle? JANE: I'm comparing it because it works - It hurts just the same way."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Jane wiped her brow, took a deep breath, and asked: 'Are you O.K.? I think you just had a big time prayer from one of your self-appointed prophets. Clever. The guy is not only getting his little flock to mass broadcast his prayer, but he's also pumping it all over the Earth on radio, TV and The Internet.'"


• The Scorching of the Moon (Iron Chef: Dream Story), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Kiddo; we have to get out of here!' 'What; why!?' However Jake managed to pull her up and she followed him outside where Quinn and Helen awaited. Daria looked at her family, faces full of fear; that's when she heard it. The sounds of flames."


• Second Chances (Iron Chef: If I Forget You: Daria's Turn), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'This jackass just kissed me!' she said, then looked at Jane. 'Jane, please don't be mad!' A look of fear came to her eyes. 'I didn't mean for him to! He just started kissing me when you left! This has never happened before! Please, Jane, please don't hate me.'"


• Southpaw (Iron Chef: Dream Story), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Chris ran into the room all the way at the end of the hall, on the right of the stairs. It was a smaller room than the one he and Sam shared at the old house, but for just one person it was perfect. He grinned and ran over to open the closet. That was when it happened for the first time."

"Gee, look at the time. 1984 already."

It was on this day in 1949 that George Orwell's dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty-Four was published. In addition to the above quote from "Psycho Therapy," the book is also referenced in "Write Where It Hurts" as one of the reading choices in Mr. O'Neill's class.

In fan-fiction, Thomas Mikkelsen's A Stacy Orange, Brother Grimace's Victory Lane, and The Angst Guy's Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope all refer to the novel to varying degrees.

And now over to Big Brother with the latest fandom news!

• Is Jane the easiest to use character in Dariarotica? Post your thoughts in the thread.


• Doggieboy has a question for the Spanish speakers.


• Derek posted some night photos and pictures of Niagara Falls.


• A new discussion in the Deep Thoughts forum: the search for the historical Adam.


• Roentgen has found some fun with Wikipedia.


• Two new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: LadieT's If I Forget You: Daria's Turn and Temppeli's Dream Story.

D-Day!

Today is the 67th anniversary of D-Day, which was the day of the invasion of Normandy by Allied forces during World War II. Sandi looks ready to take on the opposition single-handed, possibly because she blames them for her new haircut.

Fanfic Update!

• Behind the Laughter Deleted Scenes- The Simpsons (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Homer S. - Oh sure, it was fun working with all our friends and neighbors. Marge S. - But the most fun was to be had with all of those big named Hollywood Celebrities (Begins to look uncomfortable). Of course, there were a few unfortunate experiences."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: So if we can swim to the bottom of the water hazard, then we should be able to find the drain that empties into the Aqueduct outside! Daria: Sounds like a plan. Now, if you'll excuse me, I shall ask the gentlemen shooting at us to please get our coats, as we are ready to leave."


• Daria Vs. Old Betsy & The Five Avengers, by RX-87 (part 5): "Helga was in The Future. Somebody's future, anyway. And though she was newly arrived, the walls told her the people of her time period or its parallel universe equivalent had little to look forward to. The dystopic feel of the place was further accentuated by the ear-splitting repetitive popping noise of automatic gunfire. Automatic gunfire that seemed to be getting closer."


• God Save The Esteem Ep31: Achy Jakey Heart, by Charles RB (part 3): "Tom hadn't look his usual at-ease self when he'd arrived, none of his usual sense of innate confidence and smugness. He looked smaller without it, just a teenager in thrift clothes. But when Jane nodded, he closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them he was more in control, calmer. Pretending to be, anyway."


• How Peace Came to Lawndale (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Without warning, Daria exploded into a thousand micro-Darias that could control storms and lightning and shoot laser beams out of their eyes, and would hunt their foes unto the ends of the earth and would not stop until they were dead. Jane was surprised by this."


• Jane Morgendorffer 2: The Middle School Years, by LadieT (part 2): "'That's Mr. Isaac on the phone. He and Mr. Keller are starting a jazz appreciation class after school on Monday. They will meet three afternoons a week and they were wondering if you two would like to attend. They are asking only a couple of the sixth graders to join.'"


• John Lane 50: Boxed In, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "'Do you remember that refrigerator box Daria had as a kid?' 'No,' Helen mumbled. 'Sure you do, honey,' he said. 'When she was a little girl.' 'Nothing.' 'She used to read in it all the time.' Helen opened her eyes. 'Now, I remember something.'" (Part 4)


• Not So Different 37: 'Fury, Signifying Nothing', by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Once they'd greeted each other, got their pizza, and seated themselves, the next thing he did was to thank her for calling his mother. 'It meant that she was at the school to witness the inter-agency taskforce searching my locker.' 'Inter-agency taskf—?' Jane caught herself and stopped mid-question. Listen, not talk. Sonny continued unmoved. 'Fish and Wildlife, DEA, ATF, and the Secret Service.' 'Secret S—?' It wasn't fair. How could she not react when the story was as wild as this?"


• Not So Different 38: Not Missing Much, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'There's just no way my parents are going to agree to you and me spending all night alone together on a couch, at your place, at my place, or anywhere else', he had said. Jane had protested that they'd only be watching television. 'Right', Sonny had replied, even more flatly than usual (if possible). 'Now convince them of that.'"


• Of Another Man's Guitar, by peapotmaster (part 1): "LOIS: Isn't this great, Peter? Seeing the floats up close and seeing Chuck Norris as the grand marshal. PETER: He's still around? (Lois nods.) PETER: Crud, I wanted Weird Al."


• A Question of Cindy, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part ): "Cindy Brolsma had just ordered a pizza when she turned around and noticed Daria Morgendorffer coming towards her. 'This is definitely unusual,' she thought. 'Cindy?' Daria asked. 'That's me,' Cindy said, quite puzzled. 'Would you like to sit with Jane and myself?' Daria asked. Cindy hesitated. Why was Daria Morgendorffer, one of the most anti-social teens in Lawndale, with the reputation to match, asking her to sit with her? 'Um, sure,' she finally said."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 12): "'I do not own a warehouse.' Sandi replied glibly. This was a woman completely unused, or perhaps refused to get used, to the idea that other people were in a position of more authority than her. Such was what happened to successful self-mades. 'Sandi.' Jeffy's face started to get as red as his hair. 'Do you want to bring you back to the precinct?' She cocked her head at Jeffy's anger. Tiffany just stared vacantly, probably annoyed that no one was paying attention to her."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 6: Divas NOT Wanted!, by DIsaac (parts 3 - 5): "STACY: Dani, what are you doing? DANI: OK, Stacy. Where are the sharp objects at? STACY: I am NOT letting you stab another co-worker!" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Behind her, Sandi whispered: 'It is His order that I take you to Him through The Way of the Blue Darkness. And you have no choice, even if you think you do. Your dream is your life and I have both of them in my hands. That, and your date blew you off. So let's go, Quinn.'"


• Silent Melody, by Silver: "Daytime television is a scourge. Even with satellite TV, the selection remains pitiful. Jane thumbed the channel button again before taking a bite out of her pizza. Daria ate her own slice in silence for a time, then finally spoke. 'Why not try to find some news?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Glancing back at their replacement drummer, Nick said, 'I don't know about this new guy, Trent.' 'That's what they said about Ringo and look what happened to the Beatles,' Trent replied. 'Ringo didn't come with a certificate of rabies vaccination.'"


• Unnamed story (Totally randomly wrote up this thing...), by Kael Seoras: "She was walking. She thought. Maybe. In all the blackness there was no point of reference, and she felt no ground moving behind her with every step. She was just making the walking motions in empty space. Her muscles burned, though. She didn't know how long she'd been at this. She was fucking sick of seeing nothing and feeling nothing and not fucking knowing where the fuck she was--"