"Anybody else smell peanut butter?"

Today is National Peanut Butter Day! I don't recommend you eat that peanut butter sandwich Jane found, so instead why not celebrate by letting peanuts hijack your brain...moth to a flame...if you don't release me...you're driving me insane!

Sorry. Random Mystik Spiral moment there.

This also happens to be Beer Can Appreciation Day! I can hear the snide comments from both Ms. Barch and Jake about ex-husbands and horrible fathers already, so let's not celebrate this one in front of them, okay?

Fanfic Update!

• The Apex of Angst, by OverlordMikey (part 1): "I'm not entirely sure about who I am anymore. Outside my window I see a world gone mad; inside my house I see a few people gone mad. Sometimes I wonder if I've gone mad too."


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 2): "JAKE: Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving offworld to a whole new colony -- especially for you, Daria, right? DARIA: Did we move? JAKE: Hahah... great joke, Kiddo. DARIA: No, I mean I thought I felt something pushing on... Never mind."


• At the Crossroads..., by oni (part 4b): "Coming up to them, hand-in-hand with Stacy, Sandi asked with amusement in her voice, 'Bored already Quinn?' Trying to put on her best smile, Quinn replied back, 'Me, bored Sandi? Never.' While her girlfriend didn’t notice it, Sandi could tell that Quinn was still a little uncomfortable with the whole girlfriend situation. With that in mind, Sandi held back from saying anything further."


• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 5, by DeacBlue (parts 3 and 4): "'Oye! Oye!' the bailiff called. 'The county court of Lawndale County, Maryland, Judge Viola Carney, presiding, all having business before the court, draw near!' He said, in an aside to the judge, 'First case is County of Lawndale v. Morgendorffer, Lane, and Burns.' '"Well, let's get to it,' Judge Carney said." (Part 4)


• Chaos Theory: The Esteem of the Cynic and the Eccentric, by Walter Kovacs (part 6): "'We're all going to eat dinner at the neighbor's that night and I want everyone to be there.' Turning to her two oldest children, Helen continued 'This means the both of you too.' 'Exactly who are these neighbors we're eating at?' asked Daria. In a matter of fact voice, Helen simply said 'They're the Sloanes. I believe you know their two children.'"


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (cut scene and parts 21 - 23): "'Is that Daria?' asked Jane as they got closer. After a few moments, Jane knew it was Daria. 'Hey, get away from her!' shouted Jane. Lynn went running up, but came to a sliding stop when the guy turned around. 'Trent? What in the hell are you doing here?'" (Part 21) (Part 22) (Part 23)


• How To Tell Time, by mmmdraco (COMPLETE!): "Brittany heard her alarm clock go off and opened her eyes wide, ready to start another wonderful day. She knew it was 6:30am because her alarm clock was going off, and she'd never bothered to change the time."


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 5): "'You didn't let things go in the middle of my speech, did you?' 'Me? No.' 'Good.' 'I cut loose when you were about halfway to the stage. I thought I'd try to get as much dispersal time as possible before you returned.' 'Now that's true love.'"


• The Lawndale Adventure, by LadieT and The Angst Guy (part 3): "Amy watched the screen for a moment as her jaw dropped. 'Rita - are you sure they were on that ship?' 'Yes! Quinn called me tonight with a dating question and told me that she was on the Princess Fairy because her school was doing a fundraiser. I've tried Helen, Quinn, their house - no one's answering. Amy, I'm really worried,' Rita's voice broke."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 11: Wilderness Adverturers, by Hyrin (part 1): "'Honey, you need to relax.' 'I know. I just...what should I do?' 'What do you say we go camping this weekend? Hell, you’ve got plenty of time off saved up. Let’s make it a 3-day weekend. Just us and the girls, living off the land.'"


• Mr. O'Neill, Asshole, by Smijey: "'Esteem...a teen. They don't really rhyme, do they?' Mr. O'Neill said cheerfully. Daria did her best to pay attention to the pap, in the unlikely event that he said anything useful. 'You know what else doesn't rhyme? "You losers" and "a future." The sounds don't quite mesh, just like when your parents attempted to use birth control. But we are here to begin the futile task of realizing your actuality, and when we do...'"


• Quinn's Code 05: Morgendorffers vs. Amazon, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "As she stepped out of the school building, Romonica took out her cell phone. 'Claude, it's me, Romonica. The classes have been canceled. 'The Principal didn't see it our way?' Claude asked. 'No, and it was a lawyer parent's fault! I will see the school, and her, in court!'"


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT, by DIsaac (part 1): "TOM: How could this happen? SANDI: Well, when two adults do what they do... (TOM gives SANDI a dirty look) SANDI: Hey, I know we're epically screwed here. TOM: This makes kissing Daria in the car look like child's play."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'Excuse me, Jane, but what is this pile of spoiled rotting vegetation sitting on My altar?'"


• Shadow of The Fade, by BrownEyedBagel (part 2): "He paused and considered how he would even find his former student. It wasn’t like she had made any attempt to keep in touch, hell she didn’t have a good reason to do so. The only pupil he ever had who didn’t drop off the face of the earth was Kevin."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Smithers, release the hounds.'"


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Daria entered her house and her mouth fell agape; before her was her sister and boyfriend. Her sisters lower torso was now that of a spider. Her eyes where glazed in a nightmarish black and her hair was now a thin red. Her mouth stretching outwards to show her disgusting elongated fangs and tearing away at the false human flesh."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Well shuck mah corn and call me Mary Lou Belle!' Jane called out enthusiastically. 'We're in Branson!' 'Actually, I think you've gone a little too far south,' Daria corrected her, 'unless all those cows we saw were cleverly concealed corn stalks.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by mmmdraco (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the billboard in front of her. 'They're not proud of their football team or anything, are they?' Jane glanced up. 'Yeah... They won 3 straight national championships and defeated Michigan.' She shrugged when Daria looked at her strangely. 'What? I Googled.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Panel 2. Kevin, angry, picks a rock off the ground. KEVIN: If only I wasn’t a cripple! I’d whomp those jerks! If only this convenient rock was a football.. Panel 3. Kirby crackles erupt from the ball! Kevin stares in awe."


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Jane chuckled as they stepped away from the lockers and started walking down the hall to their next class. It took Daria several seconds to realize that the chuckle had been in her mother's voice. 'Something wrong, amiga?' Jane asked when she noticed the other girl was staring oddly at her."


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "As one, the crowd pressed in around Quinn even more, causing the redhead to suddenly become uncomfortable with being the center of attention for what was probably the first time in her life. Seeing the suddenly panicked look on her sister's face, Daria quickly moved to push through the mass of students, grabbed, Quinn by the wrist, and extricated her before she was suffocated or torn to pieces."


• With An "Uh", And An "Um", by mmmdraco (parts 12 - 14): "'Hey, Trent, are there any eligible bachelors at this grocery store you work at?' 'Hmm.' Trent stroked his chin absentmindedly. 'Maybe. You want me to set you up with someone, Janey?' 'Yes, please.' 'Anything in particular you're looking for in a guy?' 'Alternative, but not in a way that's like everybody else. He needs to be cool with piercings. And art. In shape, and able to keep up with me. Cute, but not too cute. And cannot have a name that starts with a "T".'" (Part 13) (Part 14)


• Working Woman (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "The conference room was at the end of the corridor. A large room with a table big enough for a dozen people, Helen was surprised to find the room empty. It was very rare to be called there when there were no meetings. She had expected for some of the senior partners to be there. Instead, it was only Eric inviting her to take a chair. 'Helen, we want you to take a vacation,' Eric said just as she had sat down."