"Ooh-la-la. Doctor, I have a pain."

Today is National Doctors' Day! Dr. Phillips is busy trying to figure out what caused Daria's mysterious rash, but we can celebrate on his behalf. Perhaps if Quinn ever decides to restart her passion for medicine, she'll have her own holiday as well! (As if every day isn't Quinn Day in her mind.)

It's also a triple birthday treat for Jane and Daria: Francisco de Goya was born in 1746, Vincent van Gogh was born in 1853, and Anna Sewell was born in 1820, all on this day! Two artists and one author, and one of Daria's childhood favorites on top of that!

New Fanfic!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 7): "QUINN: What? Nobody said anything about any tests?! DARIA: It's a psychological test. You're exempt. Now please shut up, my head's bothering me again. QUINN: Jeez, maybe you should see somebody about that... Hey! Jane peers out at the group from the doorway of the girls' room, anxiously. JANE: Shit. I hope it's not too late. C'mon, Trent. Whatever you and the boys are gonna do, you're gonna have to do it fast..."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (part 3): "Back outside, the women’s conversation melted down from screaming to talking. Linda knew she was going to lose this battle, so she finally broke down and asked Helen with exhaustion in her voice, 'So what do you suggest I do, Helen?'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 25 and 26): "Darth Maladi: 'I have spoken to him on occasion. I have previously had to warn him off of harassing Daria Morgandorffer and Jane Lane, later he approached me daring me to do something, I made a threat to cleave him in two with my lightsabre if he didn’t leave me alone, he calls me a stuck up bitch and runs off. As far as I can tell, he is what you earth humans would refer to as a ... douchebag?'" (Part 26)


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 9): "'So, does anyone have any stories this week?' A trio stood up and got copies out of their bags. I looked over at C.C. and saw that she was not moving from her chair, and I was a bit disappointed."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 3a): "The effects of that jab to the parental reflexes were still working their way through Hank Brocklethwaite’s system on the car trip back. Over his sons' objections he insisted that they both take a college prep course which was being offered through the school. He wouldn't listen to reason, when Dylan tried to argue with him, or to unreason, when Kris tried that. Dylan took what comfort he could from Kris's discomfort. 'This could be an opportunity for us to do something together, as brothers', he said, rubbing salt in the wound."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 4): "'You should go headbutt some twatbag,' said Quinn absently. 'That's always a good pick-me-up.' DeMartino headbutted her. 'That WORKED!' he said, smiling. 'THANK you, Ms Morgendorffer!' 'No big.'"


• History Blows (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Well, while I must admire your INTESTINAL FORTITUDE, I STILL don't underSTAND the RELEVANCE of dining TEX-MEX in my classroom!' Kevin flashed Mr. DeMarino a winning smile. 'Tex-Mex? No, dude, you've got it all wrong!' 'Here it comes,' Daria said, tugging on Jane Lane's jacket sleeve as she ease herself from her seat and towards the door. 'You should get ready to run...'"


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 7): "'Jane, it's very simple. I'm not angry because I don't care. Not anymore at least. Quinn is ashamed of me and does not want to be my sister? Fine. If she does not want me as a sister then she is not my sister. For what it's worth I now consider myself an only child. The only reason I don't deny being her sister is that I don't want to stoop down to her level.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 13, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Trying to shrug off being ditched like that, but completely unable to, Tommy Sherman immediately followed after the hot ghost with all the certainty to prove her wrong - that Tommy Sherman wasn't a loser, that he might've died a pretty lame death but he was NOT a loser. 'Tommy Sherman might've gone the wrong way but...' He was completely distracted from his key objective now, 'That doesn't stop him from being anymore of a hero - if you know what he means...'" (Part 6)


• Stopping Two Sisters From Fighting (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn didn't get along all that well, but on this one thing they were both in agreement. Daria even let Quinn dress her, and Quinn didn't do anything to ruin her sister's appearance. Some things were just to important."


• Strange Unions (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn wasn't going to let the naysayers get her down. She wasn't going to let her parent's thoughts or her sister's horror get her down. She would even ignore the look of abject horror on the faces of the three J's when she told them who she was dating."


• Unnamed story (IC: Famous friends), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was outraged at this presumption of Daria's. 'And how do you know Harry? Just ignore her, Harry. She's just bitter you have better hair than her.' At once the insipid teen seemed to burst into life at this insult on Daria, and scowled at Quinn before taking Daria into his arms and kisisng her deeply."


• Unnamed story (IC: Famous friends), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Hey there.' The lead singer asked in; what Daria had to admit, was a pretty nice voice, although none of them could really hit the high notes they often attempted to sing on stage and on CDs. She wondered if one or two of them might do better in different genres of music. He smiled in an unfocused way and his eyes set on Daria. 'D- da dar!-' He motioned for the others. 'It's her guys! It's the girl I told you about!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Tom crept to the front door trying to be as silent as he could. He cringed as the soft squeek of every footstep echoed like a heavy brass bell. He reached for the doorknob and carefully turned. He wanted to scream, the damn door was stuck! He put some more effort into it when he heard something he prayed he wouldn't have to hear. 'Hey!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Jake slamed his hands on the table, frustrated. 'Honey, have you seen my ball-gag?' he yelled upstairs." (Continued by LongSnakeMoan)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Daria blinked at the interior of Tom's closet, just as he walked in. 'Hey, I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I got--Oh.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Posh Announcer: For several years now, Quinn Morgendorffer, Stacy Rowe, and Sandy Griffin have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations. This is one of them."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "It had been a heavy night and Trent had drank his own body weight in cheap vodka. As he rolled over he noticed the sleeping form of the woman next to him, tightly clutching a marriage licence in her hand."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I've been a BAD boy. A very, very BAD boy. I messed up my HITSORY test and I deserve to be punished.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Daria I'm really not comfortable with this.' Tom muttered looking at the leather and and hand cuffs."


• Wrong Answer (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe stared at the top three lines of the history test that Mr. DeMartino had graded and handed back, beginning to hyperventilate. The first line of the test, written in the angry red ink favored by teachers everywhere, read 'SEE ME AFTER CLASS.' The second line, the first question of the test, asked, 'Who was Adolf Hitler?'"