Hey, What Rhymes with "Fire"?

Today is International Firefighters' Day, and I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd want to rely on to save my house from burning. If he didn't fall asleep holding the hose, the flames would probably inspire him to wander off and write down song lyrics.

For geeks everywhere (and aren't we all, deep down?), today is also Star Wars Day. Because it's May the Fourth. Get it? Ah, Jedi puns.

Fanfic Update!

• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 1): "My name is Jane. That’s my first name, obviously. I can’t tell you my last name. The Controllers are everywhere. Everywhere. And if they knew my full name, they could find me and my friends, and then...well, let’s just say I don’t want them to find me. I won’t even tell you where I live. You’ll just have to trust that it’s a real place, a real town. Maybe even your town."


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Bump pushed her head in, further opening the door to reveal a small plastic bag filled with a green herb. She grabbed the bag in her mouth and pulled it out onto the floor. Sissy grasped the other end and both pulled while also clawing at the plastic. In less than a minute, the bag ripped and the contents spilled out. Both cats stopped and inhaled deeply as the scent of catnip filled the air. It was going to be a good night."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 5): "The next morning Lawndale looked like a white desert. The view of the nearby houses surrounded with snow was shocking. Winter hadn't came yet, and this snowfall was a preview of its future rigours. I went downstairs to have breakfast, and turned on the radio waiting for a particular news. It was official, Lawndale High will be closed today. However, I was worried enough to celebrate the news. I put another sugar tart in the toaster and kept on waiting."



• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 3 Rise Above the Bollocks, by Shiva (parts 3 - 5): "'Hey Ethan.' Daria suddenly said, 'You want another piercing?' 'Why you ask Daria?' Ethan asked, curious about the oddball question. 'I want a belly ring and I have enough cash for a two-for-one deal.' Ethan noticed that Josh had dropped Axl’s book in his lap and was staring at Daria in total shock; never in a million YEARS did he think that the Queen Bitch of Lawndale would ever do anything like this... ever!" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 42): "Daria Morgendorffer 3 had been having a rather quiet conversation with Jane Lane in her hotel room, but then something changed. The red-headed desk clerk, Kunegunde Morgen, was in the room, as if she had joined them some time before. She and Jane were dressed in identical blue-skirted, sailor-bloused schoolgirl uniforms. Each looked quite a bit younger than she had earlier, like a girl rather than a woman. Ms Morgen, and Jane, with such eerily synchronised choreography that one might think one mind animated the two of them, were performing hyperkinetic, almost spastic dance moves, and singing in unison...."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 10): "Daria stared out at nothing. 'That’s not it. I just don’t want to deal with them anymore.' 'Maybe you don’t have to deal with.' 'I always do. I always do, and look what happens. I can’t do that anymore.' 'We can stop the trip, Daria. We can go somewhere else. Somewhere more normal.' Daria closed her eyes. 'Please.'"


• Ironed Silk (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Jane lay on her back and grabbed the bedsheets tightly as waves of pleasure washed over her. She vaguely heard herself moan and her mind was blank, feeling nothing but the primal desire running through her every vein."


• The Lamp and Daria, by DeacBlue (parts 1 and 2): "'Oooo, like Aladdin's lamp?' Jane was grinning mischievously. 'Why don't you rub it?' 'I've got something for you to rub, Jane,' Daria snarked, 'but I do need to get the dust off of it.' She took out a handkerchief and wiped it off. Tried to, rather, for light and smoke erupted from the object, forcing a startled Daria to drop it and step back, while a silhouette, then a solid body (or at least one from the torso up) formed from the smoke. 'Blessed Mortal!' a deep voice reverberated around the room. 'You have freed me from the lamp! According to the Law of Solomon, you are due three wishes!'" (Part 2)


• Mack Daddy (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Kevin awoke with a start when his hair was pulled hard by the person, nay the God who had finally showed him what it meant to be a man."



• A New Beginning, by LadieT (part 6): "Daria could feel Quinn tense up as the living room filled up with people. Daria looked over at Monique, her eyes pleading for help. Monique nodded and asked everyone to follow her into the kitchen. Stacy reached over and gave Quinn's hand a gentle squeeze before leaving. Quinn tightened her grip around her big sister. 'I'm not going anywhere, Quinn.' Daria whispered. 'Yeah, right - maybe you should have felt that way ten years ago.' Quinn said with venom in her voice."


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition, by Vukodlak (part 6): "She held her for several minutes while her parents ate but soon she started fussing. 'Umm what do I do?' Daria was hoping this didn’t turning into full-scale balling. 'She wants your attention just talk to her.' Jack explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'About what?' Little Katherine was starting to flail and Daria was ready to panic. 'Doesn’t matter just talk to her.' Daria nodded to her mother’s suggestion and turned to look at her baby sister. She began reciting passages from memory from her Big Book of Science volume eight and much to her surprise she had the baby’s rapt attention."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 16, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "This came as startling news to Sandi. She always knew Ms. Barch was a weird nutcase but... a liar? 'She made me this... werewolf?' Sandi muttered in disbelief, 'She did this to me?' 'Yes.' He paused, '...and according to my research, if you kill the werewolf who bit you. You will be lifted from the curse forever.' He smiled."


• TDJS Ch. 2 Interlude, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "Dario exhaled deeply. 'Jane I must tell you something ... something very important but first I want you to know that I didn’t want hide this thing from you ; it just slipped my mind to tell you because it's something that I'm used to doing .' 'Ok.' Jane said with a touch of concern. 'Tell me.' 'See Jane, I'm busy every Saturday because I am going with my father to a psychiatrist.'" (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Trent wandered into the kitchen in search of food and almost ran into Jane's outstretched hand. She held a large clump of plastic purple Easter grass, and her expression was unreadable."


• Whoops (Iron Chef: Kevin Morgendorffer), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "A few minutes later Tom was slowly descending the stairs creeping along as quietly as he could. He struggled with the door for a minute before it finally opened. His heart sank when he found himself face to face with Kevin... who was coming home just after four in the morning. 'I won’t tell if you won’t.' Tom figured this was a fair deal. 'Tell what T-dwag?' Tom wasn’t sure if Kevin was agreeing to the mutual silence or if he genuinely had no idea. Either way Tom felt safe he’d gotten away with it."


• Who Watches the Legion?, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "So Charles and I thought about it all. The impression we had was that the Iraq War was about to be lost - the newest idiot plan was a 'surge' and who knows how that would have worked out? Gates told us the Iraqi government was not stable enough to hold on its own except with a massive US military commitment. And maybe, they hoped, we could do something."