Where There's Smoke....

Mr. DeMartino needs to put that cigarette out right now! Not just because he'll be in a ton of trouble if Ms. Li catches him, but also because it's World No Tobacco Day and he should really quit for both health and economic reasons. I mean, the man has a heart condition and can't even afford a second pair of pants, for crying out loud.

Fandom News!

• Join the discussion about political correctness.


• Does Daria have anything in common with Helen or Jake?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between She-Ra and Melodia.

Unless This Really Is Some Kind of Organic Nutrient Steam Bath

Either the girls are getting liberated again or Willow's not doing a great job of teaching Helen on Learn About Composting Day. Regardless, I'd keep your distance from both of them for awhile, both because they look pissed and because...well...I can only imagine the smell.

Fanfic Update!

• Busted (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see a Chevy Impala SS driving north on the highway. Cut to inside the car and we see that Quinn is driving while Jim is in the front seat. Daria and Lindy are sitting in back. Jim is holding a camcorder." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2e): "'What?' Daria asked, surprised at the shift in tone. It had to have something to do with the times Stacy had acted oddly that night and how Quinn had said she’d disappeared."


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (part 16): "There were two things at Camp Grizzly that stuck it in Amelia's head: meeting Daria and suffering Janice. That girl had been 'boss' of the camp by dint of being helpful, charming, and hardworking to the camp staff's faces, and then using her position to make other kids do work for her and bribe her with favours."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 3): "Daria thought to herself that it was a good thing she was not particularly claustrophobic. Laying here on the seat in the MLV with a dozen of her closest friends was kind of like being packed in a can of sardines."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 123): "'I think you should try out for this.' Hector Turco looked at the paper that Greg Adams handed him."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Trent stepped into the Lane house. It felt very empty. Jane would not be coming back, not now, or not ever again."

"Always wear your sunscreen!"

Stacy's showing off some dramatic tan lines this year in time for Sun Screen Day, and after her experience at the nursing home Brittany is unlikely to ever forget hers. If you run out, like Quinn did, just head over to Payday and pick up a few gallons. Andrea can point you to the right aisle if you need help.

You'll definitely want to lather up if you decide to watch the Indianapolis 500, which is happening today. Stacy might even pull herself away from that too-friendly dog and join in the race, if her post-IICY? credit alter ego is anything to go by.

Fandom News!

• Pay respects to the recently deceased astronaut Alan Bean.


• Talk about the new movie Solo.

You Could At Least Pluck It First!

Mr. DeMartino is trying to get into the spirit of Geek Pride Day, but someone should explain to him that the holiday is about a different kind of geek. Then again, perhaps he's just trying to stretch his meager food budget in any way he can.

Speaking of geeks, today is also National Towel Day for the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy geeks and The Glorious Twenty-Fifth of May for the Discworld geeks. I know we've got more than a few of each in our fandom!

Fanfic Update!

• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 16): "'Kevin, I'm sorry about what happened,' Daria told him. She knelt down before Kevin and put a hand on his shoulder. 'I know what it's like to lose someone you cared about deeply,' Daria said softly."


• Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "It was a brand new day to suffer through the same old shit, and Tim O'Neill was definitely suffering. It wasn't because of his little experience with Tara--that discovery that someone else in his world could barely tie their shoes without overstimulating their lizard brain--nor was it one of his own bouts of anxiety."


• Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Hanna awoke and saw that her car was approaching the Moon. It was also upside down. That is the car was, relative to the crater which was her destination."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 14): "Quinn looked at Elizaveta reclining on the couch in the living room and reading a book with puzzled amusement. 'What are you doing?' 'Reading a book and listening to music.' Elizaveta answered with a chuckle."

Turtle Power!

Having exhausted her rage against human males, Ms. Barch has apparently decided to try out misandry against a different species just in time for World Turtle Day. I suppose one point turtles have in their favor is that if they walk out on their wives, it takes an awful lot longer to leave.

Fandom News!

• Do you think A.I. assistants are cool or creepy?


• Two-Eyed Charlie posted a new social experiment to discuss.


• What names would Daria name her children?


• Discuss the return of Thundercats.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Samurai Jack and Afro Samurai.

"Ever thought of becoming a waitress?"

Andrea promises she definitely, absolutely, cross-her-heart-and-hope-to-die did not spit in your food on this National Waiters and Waitresses Day. Just to be safe, though, I'd promise to leave her a big tip after she brings you your five boxes of Frosted Flakes.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "One J at a Time," which aired on this day in 2001. Quinn dabbled in monogamy, which somehow turned into a squirrel hunt and ended with go-kart racing. Is it an example of how creative and eclectic the show could be or just a cheap gag to end the episode? Oh, look. Rolls.

Fanfic Update!

• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2d): "Daria chuckled and sat down on her couch, sinking in comfortably. Leaning forward, she grabbed the remote off the coffee table and brought the TV to life."


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 15): "Janice Walker took a moment to massage her aching autograph hand and shift around the uncomfortable gold chains she wore around her neck. These con gigs were just the worst."


• Death Of A Dream (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Stacy are sitting in a booth having lunch and catching up. By now Stacy is visibly pregnant. Stacy: Thanks for having lunch with me, Quinn. Quinn: No problem, Stacy. How are things?" (Part 3)


• Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 1): "Timothy O'Neill had once told Daria Morgendorffer that she was, in essence, a gender-swapped version of him from back when he was in his late teens."


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 11): "It had been two weeks since Jodie's party and Daria still refused to speak with Kevin. Every time he tried to call her it would go to voice mail. Every time he came to her or Jane's house she was never there."


• Unnamed story (Ill-Conceived Crossovers), by atimnie (COMPLETE!): "Jane ran quickly down the street, occasionally glancing at the sky, and at an odd alien-looking ring on her right hand. When she saw Daria, she grabbed her by the hand, still running, dragging Daria with her."

It Was a Dark and Stormy...Day

No need to be alarmed--today's just the anniversary of New England's infamous "Dark Day" on this day in 1780. Let me amend that: if the lights have gone out while you're at a Lane Family Reunion, then I suppose you might have some reason to be alarmed. Hey, that was not a pillow!

Fandom News!

• Learn more about a school's smiling policy that Ms. Li would love.


• Keep up with the latest North Korea dilemma.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior polls: Mexican Federales vs. TMPD Kidotai, Cobra Command vs Hydra, Nuke the Super Soldier vs. Rambo, and The Kingpin vs. The Big Boss from C. O. P. S.


• Join in cfardell_Brenorenz29's shared world, Rise of Weirdness.

Giddyup!

Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby on this day in 1875, while the rest of us avert our eyes and try to scrub the image from our brains. You know, I really don't think this is what the Middleton bursar meant when he asked Jake if he plays the ponies.

Today is also Pack Rat Day, so today's the day to clean out the garage while the girls are at a camp reunion or throw out all the moldy food in the fridge. Figured out what that red stuff is yet?

Fanfic Update!

• And I Feel Fine (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The man staggered towards Fremont, wondering why he'd done it. His wife and son had been the thing that made his life bearable, ever since that girl and her car had destroyed his guitar and his chances on the road."


• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2c): "Stacy looked over the items on the counter and hummed thoughtfully. 'Well, I did most of the cooking this morning. All that's really left is the turkey and the gravy, and we can't make the gravy until the turkey's done.'"


• Death Of A Dream, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We zoom in to see a camcorder mounted on a tripod next to Quinn's car. Quinn and Jim are looking at the camera. Jim: Hello, I'm Jim the Car Guy. Today, I'm going to show my girlfriend how to fix a flat tire. Say hi to the viewers, Quinn. Quinn smiles sweetly."


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 10): "'So I guess the question now is should we still go to Jodie’s party?' Kevin asked. He and Daria were still sitting at the pizza place not yet feeling up to dealing with their lives outside right now."


• Meetings, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Sandi continued to ask herself if she'd gone crazy as she microwaved a bag of popcorn. She refused to face her present company again until she'd had time to properly reorient herself but she was having no such luck."


• Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "There had always been weirdness, which science couldn't explain. It was thought that it had disappeared in the early 20th Century, but it wasn't so. Shortly before the Second Great War, a discovery was made in Mesopotamia. A stash of cuneiform tablets. A Sumerian library. Little did the archaeologists know what that library contained."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 13): "'That slimy...rotten...sleazy...' Angie fumed as she picked Elizaveta up at the Morgendorffer house for another day of school. 'What happened, szereto?' Elizaveta asked, her voice etched with concern."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 122): "Jodie Landon buttoned her blouse and checked herself in the full length mirror in Brittany Taylor's room. Finding her old lip gloss, she applied it and checked her appearance from several angles."

Li, the Great and Terrible

Pay no attention to the principal behind the curtain as we all wish Wizard of Oz author L. Frank Baum a happy birthday. Someone involved with the show must have been a fan, because in addition to the Daria's Inferno scene there, we also get Mr. O'Neill quoting the Cowardly Lion in "Fire!," Daria referencing Judy Garland's role in the movie at the start of "Legends of the Mall," and Mr. DeMartino's "and you were there" bit near the end of "Lucky Strike." I'm a little surprised that Daria and Jane didn't get blown away to Oz by the hurricane in "Daria!"

I suppose they couldn't bear to be separated from their loved ones, since today is also International Day of Families. While there are many families in Daria, I'm not sure any of them are ones that the U.N. would care to hold up as good examples.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the rise of cat men and similar pet stories.


• Learn more about the bizarre tale of the flat-Earth convention that fell apart.


• Zipper wonders if anybody has tried an Iron Chef where each addition can be approved or rejected.


• Join in a new Round Robin Iron Chef: Mecha Ensign Daria.

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?

St. Patrick's Day may have been a couple of months ago, but Tiffany's finally catching up. Or perhaps she just knows that today is Leprechaun Day! Either way, I don't think I've ever seen that girl so expressive...or so unfashionably dressed.

I hope Tiffany also remembered to hire the agency's prettiest model today, because it's also Mother's Day. I'm sure Daria will give her mother a lovely gift just as soon as Helen gets home from her 18-hour day at work.

Fanfic Update!

• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 13 and 14): "In the metaphorical piles-of-socks-never-washed that was the Pan-Dimensional Wikitome, Kristen Leung-141099 (a timeline where Sega's Dreamcast sold really well) was smiling and nodding while Janice-101.303 continued to butt in and talk to Cindy-191985 (a timeline where events in 1997 were in 1985 somehow)." (Part 14)


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was the fifth week into the flight. They had been in zero gravity with the engines off for quite a few days, at least it seemed that way. They were still a couple of weeks from needing to restart the ion engines to slow down so they did not miss Mars completely."


• Enough (IC: Random Pairing Challenge 2018), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Max, Charlie's here,' Chris says, digging his elbow into my arm and pulling me from the fantasy world of Krynn, back to the unfortunate reality of Lawndale High."


• The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake is busy at work, by which I mean he's playing with a Rubik Cube. He is unable to solve it. Jake: Dammit, why don't these things come with instructions?" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "Another day at camp and another step closer to a complete revolt. The kids are growing tired of Uncle Timothy's special brand of cluelessness and Uncle Anthony is threatening an overthrow."

Art and Food...Two of Jane's Favorite Things!

Jane should really cheer up, because today is artist Salvador Dali's birthday! Never mind the art reproductions, Jane, just rest your tired painting arm and have a slice of surreal cake, okay?

In fact, have whatever you want to celebrate because today is also Eat What You Want Day and I'm not the boss of you. Bon appetit!

Fandom News!

• MartinUK has a word of advice for people who might be missing notifications.


• Share songs you associate with Beavis and Butt-Head.


• Discuss how mercenary Brittany's interaction with Daria is.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Paladin and Marshal Matt Dillon.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef: The Lawndale High School Prom.

Lost Boys and Lost Socks

Today is the anniversary of Peter Pan playwright James Barrie's birth on this day in 1860, and Mr. O'Neill is just a little too happy about it. I have to admit, though, that this job seems a much better fit for Mr. O'Neill than teacher. For one thing, he never has to grow up. For another, he spends a lot of time suspended from the ceiling where it's harder to invade people's personal space.

This is also Lost Sock Memorial Day, so if you've lost any socks to the make-out/laundry room then feel free to mourn them. Also, check with Daria and Jane in case they've seen them.

Fanfic Update!

• An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 8): "'You seem happy today.' The bus to the subway station hits a bump causing Daria and Jane to bounce slightly."


• The Coming Of The Cynic (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Jake and Helen seated with Emma, Rita and a five year old Erin. Emma's hair is just starting to go gray at this point so we see that her original hair color is the same shade of red as Quinn's. Rita looks the same as in 'Aunt Nauseum', only twenty years younger. Erin is in a pink dress with pig tails." (Part 3)


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 8 - 12): "When Daria had been sent to the self-esteem class, she'd expected nothing but metaphorical farts. Instead she'd found Jane (in the class for six goes out of boredom) and Janice, who'd not only been borderline acceptable to hang out with but had opened her eyes to the glorious things about self-esteem class: using it to make her family suffer and using it to make O'Neill suffer." (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 40): "The Morgendorffers arrived in Lawndale after sunset. They'd left US highway 15 at Emmitsburg and drove southeast on Maryland highway 140, Jake vocally and Helen silently hoping that they were still on the road to Lawndale and hadn't managed to overshoot their destination and would arrive at some dead end by Chesapeake Bay."


• Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 6): "Jane seemed to mirror the dead feeling that defined Quinn ever since waking from her coma when she first opened the door, but when she saw who it was, there was an instant transformation."


• It Happened Another Nut (Iron Chef: The Lawndale High School Prom), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jodie tore open the envelope. 'Lawndale High, give it up for your Prom King and Queen, Kevin Thompson and... Daria Morgendorffer?'"


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 12): "As the rhythmic sounds of Dave Brubeck and his band playing 'Take Five' resounded through the Morgendorffer living room, Elizaveta, lying down on the couch with her head on her girlfriend Angie's lap, sighed contentedly as the two girls enjoyed the night alone at the Morgendorffer house."


• That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (parts 3 - 5): "The last place Stacy wants to be is cooped up in the car with her parents. She stares out the window as her Dad's Honda breezes down the highway, thinking about why Garrett has suddenly decided to visit." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 121): "'I really can't stand this,' Karen said. 'I think you look wonderful,' Fran said. Karen wore a lightweight blue prom dress that laced up in the back with a princess-seamed bodice and shoulder straps. 'I look ridiculous,' she said."

No One's Crying For Her

Ms. Li is wishing a happy birthday to Eva Peron, who was born on this day in 1919. I'm sure Ms. Li would love to be in charge of an entire country as the Perons were, but I think she'd have some trouble installing the metal detectors. She might have to settle for having someone write a musical about her instead.

If you've been meaning to take a trip to Argentina (or any other country) then good news! Today is also National Tourism Day, so drop everything and hop a plane right now! You wouldn't want to disappoint whomever made up this holiday, would you?

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior polls between Archie and Jughead and Beavis and Butt-Head and Cobra Commander and Overlord from Spiral Zone.


• Check out a song Wouter wrote.

Comic Books and Cocktails

Here we see a rare image of Kevin reading something, but only because today is Free Comic Book Day. Knowing Kevin, though, he probably paid for that comic book.

Today is also Cinco de Mayo, which--like St. Patrick's Day--is apparently only a big deal in the United States because it's an excuse to drink heavily. So today is really just another typical day for Kevin all around, I guess.

Fanfic Update!

• Beyond The Pain, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I have a question for you - Esper Prime,' Hector said. 'If you're still so benevolently handing out life advice.'" (Part 2)


• The Coming Of The Cynic (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We see that there are more cars than just Jake's Lincoln and Helen's Prius. In front of the house are also Quinn's red Impala, a silver Camaro SS that belongs to Stacy, and other cars that we don't recognize."


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey and Brother Grimace (parts 6 and 7): "'You know, it's funny.' Janice opened one eye, looked at the clock -- two in the morning -- and turned her head just enough to look over at Daria, on the other side of the bed. 'What's funny?'" (Part 7 by Brother Grimace)


• Daria at USAES, by Roentgen (part 4): "Daria could not believe that she had been at USAES for three weeks. The days had been routine, but at least they offered some comfort."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 38 and 39): "The Morgendorffers pulled away from the curb, turned left, then right, then turned left again and onto the main highway leading out of town. There was a sort of finality to this visit, and Daria wondered if she'd ever see Coalton again." (Part 39)


• Depth Takes A Sale (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'The problem? Ever since Christmas and Halloween left, the social order has gone totally haywire.'"


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 15): "'Well, what do we got so far?' asked Jane. The two were in the public library researching the kind of mythology that was appropriate to the situation they were in."


• Heather's Club (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been about a month or so since she had forged that note for Sandi and her little circle of friends, a month or so since she had found herself being drafted to be part of Sandi's cult of shallowness."


• Plans For Senior Prom, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Both Julia and Karen groaned as a smoothie cup was sat on the lunch table before them."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (parts 10 and 11): "'Another day at Lawndale High.' Angie gasped as she gave her girlfriend seated next to her in the car a kiss." (Part 11)


• That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "A nasty tumble from her bike leads to her being rescued by an angel. She's not a real angel, of course; it's Quinn's older sister, Daria." (Part 2)

A Princely Reading Choice

Daria's reading Niccolo Machiavelli's most famous work in honor of the anniversary of his birth on this day in 1469. Either that or Tom was right in "Fire!" and she really is planning on taking over a country, which is probably a wiser course of action than what she did instead--at least in Jane's opinion.

Also on this day in 1999, Daria made a small cameo on a T-shirt in a Luann comic strip. I'm sure it was her proudest moment.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the leaked questions that Mueller wants to ask Trump about Russia.


• What do you think of Daria making Cosmo's 'Best 22 Teen Dramas' list?


• Play a new game: The Daria Alphabet.


• Check out Jill Friedman's Daria rewatch podcast, It Really Makes You Think.


• tjdolf has an artwork mystery about skating.


• Share your thoughts on The Excellent S's Lawndale Fighting Championship series.

She Looks a Bit Honked Off About Something

Daria's equipped with a book (as usual) and a bird (admittedly less usual) for Mother Goose Day! We can probably expect a few more twists on old fairy tales, especially if the Gupty kids have anything to say about it.

Fanfic Update!

• The Interview, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat on the couch, trying to control her emotions. Apprehension, excitement and hope all struggled inside her, each momentarily having an upper hand."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 9): "'Look at this way, Elizaveta.' Angie grinned as the two girls boarded the school bus. 'Yeah...we're gonna be trapped in a bus for a few hours, but we'll get to hang out at the mall and skip classes for the day.'"


• Strange Uncle (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Helen, Jake, Daria, Quinn and Jim sitting at the table having dinner. Storm, Quinn and Jim's dog, is begging for food. Jake gives him a piece off of the table. Jake: Here you go, boy."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 120): "It was 4:10 am. Someone was knocking on the door to the unit that Sandi Griffin and Quinn Morgendorffer shared. 'Grr,' Sandi said, shoving the pillow over her head as if she wanted to strangle herself."