Bald and Free...to the Max!

Max is having a great day because not only did he get appointed a Junior Deputy but it's also Be Bald and Free Day! I suppose that's accurate in that he has been released from jail but he's not what anyone would consider a free spirit.

I bet Max's mood would get even better if someone offered him a sweet treat for National Dessert Day. Jane might still have some of that ice cream cake, or perhaps Quinn could produce another chocolate layer cake...unless that's reserved for Kevin only.

It's a Switcheroo!

Kevin and Brittany have moved beyond wearing each other's underwear and have now switched clothes entirely in honor of National Costume Swap Day. I have to admit, Kevin really does have the legs to pull off a skirt, although I'm more worried about what kind of force of nature Brittany would be on the football field.

Once they're done cosplaying as each other, they might take Kevin's motorcycle for a spin for National Motorcycle Ride Day, although I recommend that neither of them wear a skirt for that. Also, Brittany needs to remember to keep her mouth shut if she wants to keep her teeth bug-free.

As soon as they get back from their ride, they can find Mr. DeMartino and help him celebrate Moment of Frustration Day. I think it goes without saying, though, that the teacher will experience more than a single moment of frustration with those two around.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (COMPLETE!): "Everything seemed absolutely perfect for Ella Anne that day." (Part 47) (Part 48) (Part 49) (Part 50)


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Half an hour after leaving home, the Enigma arrived in the vicinity of the Historia. She remembered her conversation with Daria after the opening."

Guys, Please Get a Room!

Brittany's got no problem with National Hug a Kevin Day, but I don't think she'd appreciate it if anyone else tried to celebrate it. I really hope those two know that it's only "hug" Kevin, because no one wants to see this go any further.

If Kevin grabs a set of drumsticks then they can also celebrate National Hug a Drummer Day! If not, then Max is always available. And I do mean always because no one likes Max. I don't think he can expect many hugs today.

Hugs might be appropriate in general, though, because it's also World Mental Health Day and comfort from a friend is always helpful for anyone struggling with mental health. What's not so great for mental health is the Quiet Ivy psychiatric institution, where the professionals don't really seem to know what they're doing. Mrs. Manson would fit right in.

Fandom News!

• Azul has some law questions.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Thor from Marvel Comics and Tlaloc.

Where's a Red Pen When You Need It?

I hope Jodie takes some time off from her stressful day to appreciate the irony of a misspelled poster about dyslexia, especially because it's World Dyslexia Awareness Day. There has been some fandom speculation about whether or not Kevin is dyslexic, although I suspect his intellectual problems run much deeper than any learning disability.

I don't think it would be wise for Jake to recreate the Great Chicago Fire, which began on this day in 1871, in the Morgendorffer kitchen. I don't care if Helen hid the mop again; the milk will taste just as good cold. If he really must warm it up, I might recommend the microwave.

Although there were no explicitly stated lesbians in Daria (Alison, being bisexual, doesn't count), I think we can celebrate International Lesbian Day all the same because fanfiction more than made up the difference. I can't say I'm surprised about it--with the shortage of decent guys in the show, shippers have to do what they can!

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 44 and 45): "Camp Grizzly was quite probably the most famous Summer camp in all of Pennsylvania." (Part 45)


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 32): "'Who was that on phone, Dear?' Mrs. Ruttheimer asked as she came out of the kitchen. 'That was Brittany, Mom.' Charles answered, 'She’s coming by in an hour to pick me up to catch a movie and then listen to some music. Jenn and her group are playing tonight.'"


• Parting Gift, by remi (part 10): "'Very well, Quinn. I am surprised that you would want to defend Daria after what she did, but we are listening. What do you have to say in her defense?'"


• Sixteenth Doctor Adventures (Chapter 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "After the TARDIS had landed, Xander got off the floor. ‘He’s taking this rather well. Much like others I have travelled with, in my previous incarnations,’ the Doctor thought."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "In the bathroom, Daria looked in the mirror. She saw herself and Quinn, two sisters who were more alike than she would have expected before her father passed."

Merry Unbirthday, Kevin!

Kevin is proclaiming to all that today is Mad Hatter Day so you should...I don't know, wear a hat or have a weird tea party or talk nonsense. Whatever you like. If you don't have any other plans, you could read one of the many Alice stories that cross over with Daria.

I hope no one tells Jake that it's Change A Light Day, because the last thing anyone (especially Quinn) needs is for him to fiddle around with the light fixtures and risk killing a family member again. Hey, how many Jakes does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, but feel free to share your ideas for a punchline in the comments.

Instead of doing any DIY projects around the house, Jake should just cook up some pasta in honor of National Noodle Day. We know he can make both fettuccini Bolognese and penne a la pesto (as long as the pesto doesn't oxidize), so plain noodles shouldn't be a problem.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., John Amos.


• wouter shares a song he wrote and the story behind it.


• Discuss the “Daisy” ad.

Please, Go Back to Scowling!

Daria really needs to stop celebrating World Smile Day because she's starting to freak me out. Supposedly she doesn't like to smile unless she has a reason, but apparently being super creepy to all observers is reason enough.

It should put a smile on Jake's face to learn that today is National Golf Lovers Day, so I hope he gets the chance to break out his clubs and play his favorite game. I think one of my favorite Jake moments is at the end of "I Don't," when it turns out that he left all of the chaos behind to play golf at the country club. Good for him!

I don't think anyone will be smiling for Kids Music Day, at least not if we have to listen to Tad and Tricia Gupty's awful records. Jane will most likely refuse to sing that song about John Jacob Jingleheimer somebody but would be happy to perform "Old McDonald" for us. Don't even ask Daria about "Pop Goes the Weasel," though.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 43): "What Quinn Morgendorffer discovered that day had been so shocking, so terrible and painful that she had cried and howled all over the house, just trying to be noticed by her parents and yet remaining all ethereal and invisible as the ghost that she had become."

Who Wouldn't Want a Seeing-Eye Jane?

Daria and Jane are celebrating International Walk to School Day, which actually is pretty much every day for them. However, it's rather unusual that Jane has to guide Daria through the trip thanks to a lack of vision correction. Resist the urge to steer her into a tree, Jane!

With luck, Daria will receive some otherworldly help because it's Guardian Angel Day. Then again, guardian angels are more Quinn's thing, so I guess she shouldn't count on that. Besides, Daria's angel might be too busy playing his string thing to notice her peril.

Speaking of peril, I don't recommend anyone celebrate World Farm Animals Day using Rita's boyfriend Roger's method, which is to land on a cow in a tragic skydiving accident. Instead, take Daria's example and write an essay comparing the sophomore class to barnyard animals. Name names.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Kris Kristofferson.