Where's a Red Pen When You Need It?

I hope Jodie takes some time off from her stressful day to appreciate the irony of a misspelled poster about dyslexia, especially because it's World Dyslexia Awareness Day. There has been some fandom speculation about whether or not Kevin is dyslexic, although I suspect his intellectual problems run much deeper than any learning disability.

I don't think it would be wise for Jake to recreate the Great Chicago Fire, which began on this day in 1871, in the Morgendorffer kitchen. I don't care if Helen hid the mop again; the milk will taste just as good cold. If he really must warm it up, I might recommend the microwave.

Although there were no explicitly stated lesbians in Daria (Alison, being bisexual, doesn't count), I think we can celebrate International Lesbian Day all the same because fanfiction more than made up the difference. I can't say I'm surprised about it--with the shortage of decent guys in the show, shippers have to do what they can!

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 44 and 45): "Camp Grizzly was quite probably the most famous Summer camp in all of Pennsylvania." (Part 45)


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 32): "'Who was that on phone, Dear?' Mrs. Ruttheimer asked as she came out of the kitchen. 'That was Brittany, Mom.' Charles answered, 'She’s coming by in an hour to pick me up to catch a movie and then listen to some music. Jenn and her group are playing tonight.'"


• Parting Gift, by remi (part 10): "'Very well, Quinn. I am surprised that you would want to defend Daria after what she did, but we are listening. What do you have to say in her defense?'"


• Sixteenth Doctor Adventures (Chapter 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "After the TARDIS had landed, Xander got off the floor. ‘He’s taking this rather well. Much like others I have travelled with, in my previous incarnations,’ the Doctor thought."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "In the bathroom, Daria looked in the mirror. She saw herself and Quinn, two sisters who were more alike than she would have expected before her father passed."

No, not her, either.

Linda Griffin, though she has a kind of an aggressive guy attitude, enjoys positions of power over other women, engages in constant games of oneupmanship, and knows how to properly shoot a bow and arrow, is not a lesbian. She's just Sandi Griffin, grown up, and Sandi isn't a lesbian, either. Ain't happenin', sorry.

For the shocking answer as to who on Daria was an actual real no-kidding lesbian, click here. Be prepared to be amazed, because there was more than one!

S'trewth! It's Australia Day, Mate!

It is indeed Australia Day, when we celebrate all things Australian, like 'roos in the top paddock (seen here in an image from Animal Pervert. I mean, Planet).

It is also the new Chinese New Year, forgot which animal (kangaroos, probably, but I can't translate 農曆新年), and the birthday of that wacky talk-show icon Ellen DeGeneres, whose fans cannot for some reason stop talking about whether Daria is a lesbian. My gosh, you'd think they were Daria fans too or something. Ellen is 51.

More soon, not with it yet, but not quite as not with it as I was yesterday, when I wasn't with it at all.

MOAR: I've been reading over the list of cartoon-oriented people that Ellen's fans think are lesbians. Good Lord! Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble? Buttercup? DORA THE EXPLORA? Damn, people!

Mindful that it is almost the end of January and we haven't yet talked about Helen Morgendorffer's prize-winning breasts, we will devote a little space here to talking about Who on Daria Do You Think Is Most Likely to Be a Lesbian, and Why. You can talk about as many characters as you want, but you have to pick your Main Choice.

IMPORTANT NOTE: You cannot bring up Daria and Jane. They've been done to death. Forget 'em. ALSO cannot bring up Alison, who came right out and said she was bi. Forget her, too.

As for the ones I don't think are lesbians or had any sort of lesbianical experiences:

• Helen Morgendorffer. With all apologies to a certain fan whose initials are BG, Helen was straight right out of the gate. She wants the Big Jake. Constantly.
• Brittany Taylor. Despite that wild tactical routine in "The Daria Hunter," nope. Never even crosses her tiny but well-meaning mind as she humps her merry way through every guy in Lawndale County.
• Janet Barch. Despite her martial-arts ass-kicking on DeMartino in "The New Kid," nope. Never even crosses her mind. She wanted a Mushy Banana Male of her own, for which all lesbians everywhere can be thankful.
  

My pick? (see next post)