It is indeed Australia Day, when we celebrate all things Australian, like 'roos in the top paddock (seen here in an image from Animal Pervert. I mean, Planet).It is also the new Chinese New Year, forgot which animal (kangaroos, probably, but I can't translate 農曆新年), and the birthday of that wacky talk-show icon Ellen DeGeneres, whose fans cannot for some reason stop talking about whether Daria is a lesbian. My gosh, you'd think they were Daria fans too or something. Ellen is 51.
More soon, not with it yet, but not quite as not with it as I was yesterday, when I wasn't with it at all.
MOAR: I've been reading over the list of cartoon-oriented people that Ellen's fans think are lesbians. Good Lord! Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble? Buttercup? DORA THE EXPLORA? Damn, people!
Mindful that it is almost the end of January and we haven't yet talked about Helen Morgendorffer's prize-winning breasts, we will devote a little space here to talking about Who on Daria Do You Think Is Most Likely to Be a Lesbian, and Why. You can talk about as many characters as you want, but you have to pick your Main Choice.
IMPORTANT NOTE: You cannot bring up Daria and Jane. They've been done to death. Forget 'em. ALSO cannot bring up Alison, who came right out and said she was bi. Forget her, too.
As for the ones I don't think are lesbians or had any sort of lesbianical experiences:
- Helen Morgendorffer. With all apologies to a certain fan whose initials are BG, Helen was straight right out of the gate. She wants the Big Jake. Constantly.
- Brittany Taylor. Despite that wild tactical routine in "The Daria Hunter," nope. Never even crosses her tiny but well-meaning mind as she humps her merry way through every guy in Lawndale County.
- Janet Barch. Despite her martial-arts ass-kicking on DeMartino in "The New Kid," nope. Never even crosses her mind. She wanted a Mushy Banana Male of her own, for which all lesbians everywhere can be thankful.
7 comments:
No, no, no. Helen isn't a lesbian. Let's just say that if she ever moved to England, she could probably find working for Torchwood... under Captain Jack Harkness.
And behind him, and on the side of him,and at a thirty-four degree angle to the left of him... 'Omnisexual' probably fits her best. She was in colloege during the late sixties, remember? :-)
When The Head gets his sex change he can have a sleepover with Andrea and they can explore tranny bliss.
In fact I think I have movies at work about TrannyHead... but you don't want to see them.
When The Head gets his sex change he can have a sleepover with Andrea and they can explore tranny bliss.
Thank God you made it into the proper fandom.
'Omnisexual' probably fits her best.
I keep reading this and thinking she's "omnivorously sexual." And I don't think I want to explore that line of thought any further.
I'd probably throw Ms. Defoe into that Omnisexual category.
Stacy would probably fall for the first person, male or female, who promised to support her. (and the second, and the third...)
Andrea would be the classic "I experimented when I got to college, but that year was such a blur"
I see Quinn maybe giving it a try when all the guys she dates don't make her happy (it's bound to happen eventually), and if she does, then who knows. That's a pretty big if though.
My vote would be on Jessica (see backgrounders). She looks very Indigo Girls to me.
Andrea would be the classic "I experimented when I got to college, but that decade was such a blur"
Or this.
Helen isn't a lesbian. Let's just say that if she ever moved to England, she could probably find working for Torchwood... under Captain Jack Harkness.
Nah. I can't see Helen Morgendorffer as a pirate.
"Stacy would probably fall for the first person, male or female, who promised to support her. (and the second, and the third...)"
I've always thought that Stacy and Wind would make a good couple.
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