Since I'm writing this entry at work, in a library (shhhhh!), I thought I'd look through the episode transcripts to see what part libraries play in Daria. It turns out libraries in Lawndale are far more dangerous than you'd think.
Let's take the Lawndale High School library, the roof of which collapsed on Brittany and Kevin in "Fair Enough." Fortunately, it hit them on their heads, so no lasting damage was done. However, Quinn Morgendorffer knows better than to take her chances, as this dialogue from "See Jane Run" shows:Daria - Why didn't you say so? Give me the first cash advance and you can come with me to the library.
Quinn - The library? If anyone saw me there, I'd die.
That's right, she would die. Clearly, just being inside a library in Lawndale can be fatal. Quinn was ultimately able to avoid a grisly death, but the next victim could be anyone—especially when Helen Morgendorffer may be running things. As of "Pinch Sitter," this was a very real possibility.
Deena - Helen, please share your list of priorities, stating the most important first.
Helen - One: spend more time with my family. Two: break through the firm's glass ceiling. Three: beat the pants off Carly Fishbeck in the library board election. Four: get the spice back into my marriage.
Granted, it becomes her lowest priority after she revises the list to put "get the spice back into my marriage" at number one, but why does Helen want to be on the library board in the first place? It can't be the prestige, because there isn't likely to be any prestige to a small town library board. It can't be the free coffee mug she'll most likely be awarded if she wins. And it sure as hell can't be because she has too much free time on her hands.
The answer is clear: Carly is a rival who, like Linda Griffin, must be eliminated. Helen has a thirst for power that cannot be sated. Once Carly is out of the way, who knows who her next victim will be? The 80-year-old volunteer who reshelves books twice a week? The Story Time Lady who comes in every Tuesday afternoon?God help Carly Fishbeck. God help the citizens of Lawndale. God help us all.
So please, for the sake of your own well-being, stay away from the libraries of Lawndale. The life you save may be your own.
6 comments:
Let's take the Lawndale High School library, the roof of which collapsed on Brittany and Kevin in "Fair Enough." Fortunately, it hit them on their heads, so no lasting damage was done.
You are evil. Absolutely right, but still evil. :D
I know winning the library board election would be one of my top priorities if I got a sweet free mug out of the deal.
Does this have anything to do with bookstores? And maybe that's why Trent won't go into one?
Does this have anything to do with bookstores? And maybe that's why Trent won't go into one?
Aha! The mystery deepens. Lawndale bookstores must be the even more evil cousin of Lawndale libraries, so dangerous even someone as oblivious as Trent knows not to enter them.
This is great! The posting has given me the seeds for a scene in a fic which is in progress. Or at least a snarky line or two.
For some reason now I am thinking of Stephen King's story about the Library Police.
I think it was fiction.
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