Slow Speech is in the Cards!

Tiffany is ready and waiting to take your call on Card Reading Day, but I hope you're prepared to wait a long time to find out what your fortune is. It might be better to celebrate with BloodyWilliam's latest Daria tarot card project, which is much, much cooler.

On the subject of future alter egos, today is the anniversary of the founding of NASCAR in 1948! If Stacy did decide to become a racecar driver after high school, I hope Sandi kept her comments to herself. Or got run over by Stacy's car. Either one is fine!

Honestly, the worst Sandi could do is banish Stacy from the popular kids' table, but that wouldn't be right because it's No One Eats Alone Day! Daria, on the other hand, would be happy to celebrate this one. Perhaps making an exception for Jane.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 21): "The ride back to the Settles was quiet but tense. The only conversation was between Mr. Weatley and Julia’s mother."


• Janecoin (Iron Chef: Remembering Jane), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "When Ed checked his old Facebook account and saw the notification of Jane Lane's untimely death at age 41 in what appeared to be an accident caused by a drunk driver, he was shocked."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 10): "After having lunch at the coffee house cafeteria, Olivia headed back to the Library."


• The Thrill Be Damned, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "God, she hated these networking things. Daria stood off to the side of an industry mixer, feeling lost."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Remembering Jane), by AnxiousMillennialCowgirl (COMPLETE!): "When Andrea saw the post from Jodie Landon on the Lawndale High: Class of 2002 page that Jane Lane had died after a long battle with brain cancer, her initial feelings were of the sadness of having someone her age die rather than genuine grief."

Eat Her Fashionable Dust, Sandi!

Stacy is having a blast in honor of the anniversary of NASCAR's founding on this day in 1948. I'm sure the rest of the Fashion Club won't approve, but I say ignore them and follow your dreams, Stacy!

I might even send her a supportive greeting card, since it's Card Reading Day and that would be especially appropriate. Then again, it might remind Stacy that she's been giving her cards/poems away for years.

Fandom News!

• easmith wonders, where do people like to write?


• Midnight wants to know if Pre-Animation Man and Kass are the same person.

The Fast and the Fashionable

Seems like Stacy has no problem celebrating NASCAR Day, and I hope she has the time of her life. Never mind what Sandi might say about it; if she complains then just run her over in your sweet racecar!

Today is also World Plant a Vegetable Garden Day, and I hope Helen asks Willow to help her with the gardening process. Not because I think the Morgendorffers are likely to eat any vegetables other than tomato sauce, but because I kind of want to see her fall on her ass again. That always cracks me up.

If vegetables aren't your thing, then you could celebrate Plant Something Day instead. It's like the holiday creators gave up and said "Look, I don't care. Just take something and shove it in the dirt, okay?" I suppose that means that Memorial Crutches are okay!

Fanfic Update!

• Take Me Out at the Ball Game, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone, is driving while a scantily clad brunette in her 20's (not his wife) rides shotgun."


• The Youngest Barksdale (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "It didn’t take long for Daria to find out what happened. As she and Scarlett left school that afternoon, they found Andrea waiting for them in the parking lot."

A Million Dollars Could Buy a Pretty Sweet Racecar!

Stacy's clearly enjoying NASCAR Day, and with no Sandi around to ruin it for her, why shouldn't she? Keep on driving, Stacy--leave the Fashion Club in your literal dust!

Today is also Be a Millionaire Day, but this one is a little tricky to celebrate. Unless you're a member of the Sloane family, anyway. Still, I'm happy to give it my best shot. Who's going to give me a million dollars?

Fanfic Update!

• American Girl, by ladyevil (parts 2 and 3): "Jane, Daria and Alfred were in the cafeteria at lunch. 'So, rather than fly off to another Lane family reunion,' Jane was saying. 'Trent and I went out for Chinese on Thanksgiving. I had the Fu King shrimp with Fu King rice and a Fu King Coke.'" (Part 3)


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "Helen came home while Jake and Daria were cooking dinner. Jake had silently marveled at how his oldest girl had improved her kitchen skills."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 17 - 19): "At first, everything in that place looked and felt exactly like Lawndale." (Part 18) (Part 19)


• A Variant Lawndale - Beach Party Invitation, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'Look, two types of chips,' Daria said in a tone of fake excitement."

Cards and Cars

Tiffany's ready to tell your future for Card Reading Day, but I don't think any of us would live long enough to get through an entire tarot reading at her pace. Still, she'd make a fortune if the phone hotline charges by the minute.

Stacy's Is It College Yet? alter ego will also enjoy today, because it's also the anniversary of NASCAR! I have no idea how Future Stacy might end up a racecar driver, but I suppose anything that pisses off Sandi would be fine by her.

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 20): "'So how's the writing coming along?' Jane asked Daria, who was visiting and typing away on Jane's used electric typewriter."


• The Crooked Smile, by YouthofOz (parts 1 - 3): "(Lawndale High hallway. Students are leaving their classes at the end of the day.) JANE: You know, they say when you're born, you only have a finite amount of heartbeats left." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Daria The Temptress, by WildDogJJ (part 3 and 4): "Around noon Jane woke up with a headache and a mild case of nausea. Damn hangover!" (Part 4)


• Freefall, by atiyatortilla (part 5): "Jamie sat in the car for fifteen minutes before he finally cut the engine."


• The Janes Must Be Crazy!, by TheBrodsterBoy (COMPLETE!): "It was a dark night. Jane paced around, carefully thinking to herself."


• Life That Dare Not Speak Its Name, by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "It was odd having Daria and Jane following them around, filming them. Sandi felt like she was on the defensive, justifying their empty actions and hollow routines - okay, the Fashion Club wasn't curing diseases and stopping wars but they were having fun." (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22)


• No Rain, by Lady Evil (part 35): "'Those are some nice flowers.' said Dr. Becky. 'Thanks.' said Daria. 'Trent gave them to me.' 'That friend of yours?' 'We're not friends.'"


• The Other Foot, by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "'There you go, Miss Morgendorffer,' said the teacher as he handed over the form. 'It'll only take a minute.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Rude Awakening: The Cynical Ones Could See That Coming!, by DIsaac (part 1): "There are things in life that are so obvious. To the point that if anyone pays attention to what is happening that would get it with immediate effect!"

Speed Racer Lives!

Birthdays aplenty today. NASCAR, where Stacy Rowe finally hits it big (per IICY?), turns 62. The peace symbol (on Jake's belt buckle, below right) is 52. They've aged well.

Today also is an interesting U.N. mandated holiday: International Mother Language Day. I really suck at languages, even English, so anyone who can speak two or more languages or even geekspeak has my admiration. (I've had two years each of Spanish, Russian, and Latin, plus lived three years in Mannheim immersed in German, and I can't speak more than two brain-dead phrases of each. At least I can order lunch at McDonald's in German, so that helps.) Having once been an editor, looking up the roots of old words is rather fun for me, and it is amazing just how many thousands of years old some of our words and concepts are.

NeWz!

• A stunning discovery is reported by E.A. Smith, who says Daria episodes are being uploaded by MTV to the official Daria Facebook site. Srsly. Also, the site has almost 280,000 fans now. Holy cow.
• Got art? See the quick pencil sketches by Pinhead on PPMB.

FF.net

• The Prodigal Daughter, by a440 (COMPLETE!): "AIDS," said Brittany. "Now my dad and stepmom will truly hate me for sure."
• You're Standing on Our Necks, by Gojirob/Rob Morris (COMPLETE!): "Helen, it’s terrible! My—my father is coming over in a few days." "Jakey, I know how he makes you feel. I don't like him much, either. But we have to be fair. In fact, I can't remember the last time he came over. Or—that I saw him. But he is family." "He's the devil! What we need is a devil-killer person." "Maybe one will happen along, dear." (Daria/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

PPMB

• NEWER! After Daria, by Ravynstone (Part 1 plus): Daria picked up the syringe. It was lightweight, made of Space Age plastics, the kind of thing that would have appealed to her dad. he turned her back on the mirror and pressed the needle against her arm. She slid it into the vein with practiced ease, injecting the cocktail.
  
• Daria: Hunter—Strictly Business, by Jim North (continued): "Don't even fink about trying any fancy logic nonsense to mess wiv the robot brain, because it ain't got one!"
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 8): "Now that I've shared my news, how are you doing?" "I've actually working my All-American novel." "How many communists have you killed so far?"
• Finn Morgendorffer 33: Independence, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 3 to 5): Daria lay in her room, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t stop thinking about Tom. Okay, I’ve never really had a boyfriend before, so I guess I really can’t compare it to anything. But I’m pretty sure this isn’t how it works.
• Fire! The Facebook Edition, by Betting on Delusions (COMPLETE!): Tom Sloane and Jane Lane are attending the event Awkward Silence Following A Disagreement In A Relationship That Wasn't Even That Solid To Begin With.
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding (ex-First Day of School), by Roentgen (Part 4): "Patty, let me ask you something. Everybody's taking about 'The Knowledge.' What's that supposed to—?" "Oh! Quinn! Excuse me for a moment! I totally forgot about this appointment with one of the profs!"
• NEW! It's All About the Intention, by Psychotol (continued): "Daria, he was, like, crazy into you, you two could have been so good together, why did you send him running like that?” “I wasn’t interested in a threesome with him and Monique,” said Daria.
  
• Kamen Rider D, by Silver (continued): "So, let me get this straight. I've become a Kamen Rider." "Yes, amiga, you have. You're now part of a group of characters dating back to 1971." "Way to make me feel old, Jane."
• Sixteen Days of Sorry, by Dosco316 (COMPLETE!): "Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver and, sadly, a nadir in US Olympic history. As many of you are aware, the epidemic of Penguin Flu decimated the US Olympic team and the US borders were closed to quarantine the sickness. For the United States Olympic Committee, the only options left were to forfeit their Olympic positions or allow the substitution of a team mostly comprised of high schoolers from Lawndale, Maryland, who had been stuck in Toronto on a radio station-sponsored trip, to take their place."
• Teen Something, by Drachen (prologue and Part 1): Daria awoke to dawn in a dingy room in a filthy bed. She groaned as she felt her pounding head and protesting stomachache. Where was she? Slowly memories of the previous afternoon came to her. Van Driessen's wake for Beavis and Butt-head. The punch had made her feel so strange, so quick. Daria remembered leaving, walking unsteadily towards home. Staggering more with each step. Vague memories of meeting the ghosts of Beavis and Butt-head; them offering something and then helping her walk.
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by NightGoblyn (appetizers): "I love transvestite porn. It's the only kind I can watch without feeling conflicted!"