The Joke's On Them

It looks like Washington and Lincoln just shared a funny exchange in honor of Presidential Joke Day, but don't get too excited. It was probably just another snarky remark about Arbor Day's shoes.

Today is also the anniversary of the opening of the Mall of America, and to celebrate you could visit any repository of human greed and debasement of your choosing. Just remember that you parked in Fmossthree, okay?

Finally, it was on this day in 1999 that the episode "Just Add Water" first aired. It's kind of a middling episode, fandom opinion-wise, but we did get to learn about Mr. DeMartino's super-hilarious gambling problem and see a very dated Titanic movie reference. So there's that.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the proposed Space Force.


• Which Daria characters would be good or bad at cooking?


• Do you know of any fanfics where Daria and Ted are a couple?

Hail to the Clowns!

President's Day is sharing a good joke for Presidential Joke Day, although knowing those two it's probably not really all that funny. Then again, maybe they are the joke.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Just Add Water," which aired on this day in 1999. In that one we found out about Mr. DeMartino's gambling problem and found out the real depth of Ms. Li's ability to choose school events that aren't even remotely appropriate for high school students. Plus the writers managed to shoehorn in a Titanic joke.

Fanfic Update!

• Beneath the Surface, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Lunch went by quickly considering nobody wanted to break the forced, tense silence that had descended on the table. Jodie tried to broach the subject of leaving again to which Mack calmly but seriously disagreed. Normally, that was where things would've ended."


• Children of the Scorn, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "Daria knew she didn't want to get stuck with an unpaid babysitting job, but she'd be damned if she'd let anyone destroy her room."


• Clarity, by Zetor (part 4): "It was three weeks ago. Mother had been busy and had forgotten to set out the pills for a couple of days. Everything had become so clear."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 21): "First you freeze, then you fall. It's O.K. as long as you don't do it going down the steps"

Mad Dogs and Aliens

Daria's brief flirtation with paranoia, "The Lawndale File," aired 11 years ago today. It poked fun at xenophobia, though I am sure Mr. DeMartino was less amused by it than others were. Some memorable quotes:

• "Curse you different ones and your insidious logic!"
• "If there were any aliens smart enough to come here, they wouldn't be stupid enough to come here."
• "Daria, is anything wrong with Quinn?" "If this weren't a school day, I might have the time to begin answering that."
• "Quinn, is anything wrong with Daria?" "If this weren't a school day, I might have time..."
• "All of a sudden, she doesn't like aliens." "Who does? Aliens impregnate you and then they pop out of your chest and kill you while you're trying to eat lunch. What's to like? Gotta go! Bye!" "What exactly are they teaching about immigration at that school?"
• "You're talking implants?" "I heard that, and it's not true!" "I guess she thought you meant her UFOs."
• "Hey, Quinn, Mr. O'Neill says that girl from your house is an atomic communist."

• "I knew it! It's just like when they made us have pep rallies for field hockey. We're being invaded by communists!"
• "Remember that game when you fell on your head? Remember how you thought Vince Lombardi was sending you plays from hell?" "Heaven, bro! Vince Lombardi did not go to hell."
• "But... if Quinn's cousin is an atomic communist from Mars, shouldn't she have a more interesting outfit?"
• "I won't be sorry to see this day end." "You say that every day." "Oh, yeah."
• And the best line of all: "There's something out there. Something stupid."

'Nuff said. In other developments...

This is Saint Sithney's Day, honoring the patron saint of Mad Dog Morgendorffer mad dogs. It is also the birthday anniversary of humanitarian Raoul Wallenberg and the 49th birthday of the current President of the United States.

NOo0Z!

• OverlordMikey has created Stop Here: Leading into 13, artwork for part 13 of "The Lane That Wasn't." Click and enjoy it.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 6: Christmas Chaos, by LadieT (Part 3): "How is Dorian doing?" "Well, he really had a hard time after the economics project. We got in a big argument over nothing. Later that day, he finally opened up about how he was feeling. I think he really needed that." "I'm glad he has you, Jane. I wish Gregory had as good a friend as you when this happened to him. Maybe he would have turned out differently."
• Finn Morgendorffer 55: Dreamer Without a Cause, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “What’s the good word?” Tom asked. Between the lawsuit, the State Championship, and Finn’s own grades, which were not as good as Daria’s but commendable, Tom reasoned that Finn would get in. He knew how to dazzle and how to impress. “Bromwell? I got in.” Finn replied. “Good. I knew you could do it.” “Didn’t you say that to Daria too?” “Two different situations.”
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 13): As Daria wheeled through the living room, she paused to catch a moving scene. Helen had her arms around Jane and was crying. Jane looked as though she was trying to console their mom. I want to capture this on paper. She went into her room and started sketching. A few minutes later, Jane came and walked over to Daria. "Hey, squirt. What are you working on?"
• Pulp Fiction: Africa, by Chris Tucker (Part 3): "I think my mouth wrote a check my ass can't cash." "That business with the girl? Her name is Zelde, by the way. Had a chat with her earlier. Wonderfully brave girl. Came all that way hoping we could help. Of course we will. May I see that outline you've been working on?" Why am I still surprised when he does something like that? I really should be used to it by now.
• Satisfied, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Daria sat in her room enjoying the silence as she attempted to finish writing a story. However, her concentration was soon broken by blaring music. Daria got up and shut the door, but no avail: the music was too loud. She opened the door and headed over to her sister's room. Staring at the insanely chipper pink room, she felt an urge building that she normally suppressed.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by McKeon (COMPLETE!): "So, how did we get into this situation again?" "Well, somehow, Quinn managed to persuade us to go out on a triple date with her and the J's." "And that leads to this how?" "Well, I have strong suspicions that the punch was spiked." "And that lead to this how?" "Quinn may have given them the impression our outcast attitudes came from lack of a good lay."
  

Big Name Birthday Boys

Today is the anniversary of the birthdays of Gene Roddenberry (who created Star Trek) and former President Bill Clinton. Just thought you should know. Tom (left) is disguised as Captain Christopher Pike (right), after his near-fatal banana-peel injury. Tom's life-support model is spiffier than the original one, as you can see. That's because Tom has more money. ("This oxygenation dial goes all the way up to eleven!")

Looking for Daria-themed wallpaper for your computer? See this PPMB thread for ideas. I will list more when I get time. I've found a bunch on old MTV Daria sites.

Going back to a topic mentioned earlier, I would rather not link directly to NC-17 rated fanfiction here, but a blog on adult Daria material probably isn't warranted. SFMB can handle the whole issue quite well in its message board.

Bill Clinton, by the way, is shown in the act of answering Daria Morgendorffer's question about funding for education at Highland High School (Beavis and Butt-head episode "Citizen Butt-head"). Very few fanfics even mention this event in her life. Strange.

Why is Daria so disliked? Perhaps her hatred of lying, liars, duplicity, and so forth is the reason. Interesting article.

Stay tooned.

X Stands for "The Lawndale File"

We need more Artie fics, I was just thinking. Let's see, ten years ago exactly, "The Lawndale File" was released from its cage on MTV. I wrote a bit about this last year. Not sure how many more Daria fanfics or fanfic concepts were spawned from this episode. Anyone have any favorites? (I liked this one.) There was a naughty story based on Artie and the aliens, I recall, but we won't go there. If someone could fix up the appropriate page in DariaWiki, we would all be very grateful.

Going to the Midwest US Dariacon? Check here!

What else is going on... the President of the United States turns 48 today. Many more happies to you.

Ninety-seven years ago today, a man was born in Sweden who had a mostly obscure and unremarkable life until he saw people around him being persecuted, hounded, forced into railroad cars to be taken away to death camps. He then did a very remarkable thing: he began saving people. No one can say how many Hungarian Jews Raoul Wallenberg rescued from certain death, though it is in the tens of thousands at least. Thank you for everything.

Oh! And who could forget Saint Sithney, whose feast day this is? Someone really needs to write a story about this Saints' Day Holiday from Holiday Island High School. He is really and truly the patron saint of mad dogs. That's what I said. Perhaps he is still trying to heal Jake Morgendorffer's emotional trauma from this mad dog.

Moar 2 kumm. Stae toond. Oh! Right, someone asked for a link to that alter ego of Daria as a motorcyclist. Here it is. It was part of a screensaver posted on The N's website once. I used it as "D-Day" Morgendorffer, but it is exactly the same pic. Enjoy.

Trooo Luuuv (or Something Like It)

Curious thing about Dr. Shar and Rock and Roll Randy. On one hand, you have a petite middle-aged woman who has probably had cosmetic surgery on every part of her body that could conceivably withstand it, and on the other hand you have a big, bald, overweight, middle-aged guy who has obviously had no cosmetic surgery at all. What's the attraction? Randy is a guy, pure and simple, so his attraction to Dr. Shar is pretty straightforward (*cough*big boobs*cough*). What does Dr. Shar like about him? Though overweight, Randy's an active, semi-athletic guy, big and loud and boisterous, probably a party animal and loads of fun to be with. He has a good career and clearly likes who he is.

If it happens that Randy likes Dr. Shar mainly because of how she looks, that's perfect because her looks are the focus of her entire life. One might also hypothesize that both are G.I.B. (if you are old like me and recall what that stands for). If it's not romance, it's the next best thing. Who's gonna knock it?

It's also curious that we know only his first name and her last name, but that's how the nomenclature crumbles. Or whatever. Something like that.

Final thought for the day:


"When a woman is elected president, it won't be because she got breast implants."
—Helen Morgendorffer, "Too Cute"


"At least, her people will deny it."
—Daria Morgendorffer, "Too Cute"