Alien Love Goddesses Get a Discount

Artie is serving up a delicious pie in observance of National Sausage Pizza Day, so grab a slice and dig in. But whatever you do, don't mention aliens. You'll be there all night listening to outer space conspiracy theories if you do.

And speaking of outer space, today is also the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 7 launch. It was the first in the program to launch humans into space, but I can't find any mention of whether or not they brought pizza with them. Perhaps that mission is yet to be planned.

Fandom News!

• The @PaperpusherMB Twitter Account recently had some spammer-related issues, but should now be resolved.


• SacredDust discusses his experiences in Deep Thoughts: A lifetime of escape.


• What do you think of the actor Marc Alaimo as DeMartino? Join in the discussion with your own opinion.


• Kara Wild shares a recent blog post: Did the Writers Send the Wrong Message? Give your thoughts in the thread!


• What do you want for Christmas? Share your Christmas wish list in a new thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: LSauchelli's My Dad, the director 2 and Charles RB's Epic Rap Battles Of Lawndale.

Keep Watching the Skies!

On this day in 1999, the episode "The Lawndale File" first aired. A lot of fun stuff happened in this one, including Trent's paranoia-inducing upbeat songwriting, the wacky "atomic Communist from Mars" thing, and an encore appearance from everyone's favorite weirdo, Artie!

Several fanfics have been inspired by that episode, including Richard Lobinske's It's That Guy and The Angst Guy's And I on the Opposite Shore Will Be. In spite of his few canon appearances, Artie has appeared in too many fanfics to list. This is probably some kind of sinister alien plot. (Nods knowingly)

Fanfic Update!

• And Soon It Will Be Morning (Iron Chef: If I Forget You), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "'Trent,' said the doctor, 'the police are investigating what happened, but you don't have any time to think about that. I have more to tell you and it won't be easy. Your sister is gravely ill. I can't—I'm sorry, we got you here as quickly as we could after we found out what had happened, but I can't promise you Jane will even make it through tonight.' The bottom of the world dropped out from below Daria's feet. She hung for an instant, weightless in the air, then began to fall into an infinite depth."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "–Look –Da said as she puts down the empty glass, two fingers drumming in the edge–, look, I've decided something. I want to leave school. I hate that place. I hate the play, I really do! Leave at once. Go for a long trip again. But this time we'll go wherever I want, won't we? I nodded. My Daria."


• Dark Future: Road Worrier, by Charles RB (part 4): "Two of the bikers were accelerating, crossing the gap fast and separating to pull in alongside both sides of the RV. Standard practice for them, two to target the driver or tyres, the rest to sweep in at the crash and overwhelm any survivors. But if you surrendered, they’d probably let you off with just a few beatings."


• Green Dragon Rising, by Grifter74: "The Rangers were fighting a large group of putties when Kim heard a soft voice say "I need to borrow this" and her blade blaster was slipped out of her holster. Then suddenly all the putties vanished, leaving only the rangers and a figure wrapped in a dark green cloak and hood that hid all detail from view standing at opposite ends of a street. 'Greetings, Rangers. I bring a message from Empress Rita. Surrender now, and your deaths will be quick.'"


• Jack Of Hearts, by RX-87 (part 1): "Daria noticed Jake was sweaty and uncomfortable and visibly trying to hide it as they took in Boston's sights. Still, she tried to humor him and just enjoy things, as she still hadn't gotten the chance to explore her new surroundings herself, between schoolwork and her part time job at the public library. It occured to Daria that perhaps she should have paid more attention to her father's poor condition when they finally located the stairs where the exterior shots of Cheers were filmed and he promptly collapsed and went tumbling down them."


• Lost in the Place Where Time Stands Still (Iron Chef: If I Forget You), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Trent peaked into the clean white room and saw his sister sitting in a comatose state. According to the doctor she just barely registered her current caretaker presence; her hoped Trent might get a better response but asked that her not jog her memories at this time as it might cause her to have an even more devastating break down. He should also avoid mentioning any events that led up to the trip as she remembers nothing relating to it."


• Mellow-Drama, by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "Sensing she was now walking alone, Daria Morgendorffer stopped and turned to face her friend. She looked at the floor by Jane's boots instead of looking into those stunned blue eyes. 'I kissed your boyfriend. I kissed Tom. I didn't mean to.'"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'Jane, the last parade I went to was back in Lawndale, where I got to: see a float catch fire, look for Tad Gupty's parents, be molested by Mr.O'Neill dressed as a furry, get captured by the Fashion Club, and run into Tom, thus starting the destruction of your relationship with him and the beginning of another, namely with me. All in all, a day filled with events irritating, amusing and toxic. So, on this parade business, I'm going to ask you: do I have to?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "Colonel White realized the inappropriate nature of his comment. 'Begging your pardon, Miss Landon, I was definitely NOT referring to yourself, but to THAT!' He pointed to something behind her. She turned to look. Her jaw dropped, her eyes went wide."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Poly Wolly Doodle All Day), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Not very impressed with the new school, Daria wearily opened the door and said, 'Mom, Mom, Mom, I'm home.'"


• Unnamed story (PLOT BUNNIES: free to good home), by Ranger Thorne: "Catherine had long since become familiar with the tunnels that ran beneath New York City, enabling her to quickly get ahead of whoever it was that was walking down the tunnel. Finally, she turned a corner and was rewarded when a flashlight beam shined in her face. 'I was wondering when someone would come after me,' came a young female voice."

Nerds and Towels Go Together Like Fish and Bicycles

Today is Nerd Pride Day, hooray! And in a closely related development it is also Towel Day. Let your inner nerd and its towel out for a stroll. Be proud of who you are. Then knock it off, it's embarrassing to see you like that. Jeez, what's wrong with you? Daria, below right, shows us the proper use of a towel on Towel Day. Artie at left is the nerd poster child for today.

A list is being prepared of all the fanfics released in the last few days. Check back for details and be patient. (Finally done with PPMB and FF.net!)

More additions have recently been made to Things Students Still Are Not Allowed To Do At Lawndale High. A great thread.

If you want to join the Judith Strikes! shared world proposed by the great Erin Mills (one of two Daria fans who appeared on "Camp Fear" as cartoon characters), he provides more background info on two items all writers need to know: the Locket and the Cloak. Erin has also provided the opening scene for the shared world stories. Go to it!

Recent Iron Chefs

• Iron Chef by CR85747: Daria meets Daria. Have Daria Morgendorffer meet a fictional or real-world person who also has the same first name of Daria.
• Iron Chef by OverlordMikey: Genderbent wha!? "I was thinking, there have been a lot of gender bending with Daria characters, but I don't remember ever seeing one where Daria (or another) wakes up as the other gender, much to the shock of those around her/him and themselves. (Normally it seems to be either a dream or a retelling.) How will people cope!? How will they themselves cope!? Will they return to their original gender? Write it and tell me!"
• Iron Chef by Wouter: Daria's children, your view. How would Daria be as a mother, what would her kids be like?

FF.net (COMPLETE!)

• The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 1 and 2): Here I am and am no I. Not quite, thought Daria Faith Morgendorffer, but Delany put it better than she could. 'Course, when he wrote it, he had more experience than Daria did—actual and age-wise. In her case, it's: here I am and am two I's.

PPMB (COMPLETE!)

• Delivery Day Deferred, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "The gas station burst into flames!" Quinn said, waving her arms emphatically. "Gas stations are not supposed to burst into flames!" (Ringbearer/Daylight/Judith Dariaverse crossover)
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): In her office, seated at her desk, Daria read her lecture notes again. It was a moonless night, the wind was out of the North and the Chancellor's dog, tied up in the Quad, was rasping out its weird bark signifying the presence of strangers.
  
• Eye of the Beholder, by Yogi, Glittershrooms, OverlordMikey, et al. (Part 3): Angela Li sat over a model of Lawndale. No one knew of her evil plans. "I already have everything complete except for those few in my way. Well, there is one more—" She looked at a model of the Sloane’s. "I need to get control of the Sloane family if my plans are to come together." Of course, that shall be easy.
• Falling into College: The Clip Show, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): Holding a copy of Val between finger and thumb as if it were a dead rat, Daria tossed it in the garbage and said, "I guess we couldn't get away without a final set of annoyances. You know, I still wonder if we didn't get some unexpected help. As much as I appreciate it, the idea is still..."
• Finn Morgendorffer 47: Hell is Homecoming, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 1 to 4): "If I’m Homecoming King, someone’s going to have to take the quarterback’s spot on the float. And I sure as hell am not going to let it be Kevin.”
• John Lane 46: Substitute Plans, by RLobinske (Part 2): Mack said, "What are we going to do about teaching? How do we handle the students?" "In your case," John said, "I'd recommend a cattle prod. Watching Boys P.E. is more a matter of making sure that they don't wreck the building than it is of actually trying to teach them anything."
  
• Old Kid, New Man, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): I meet Ted in a nice and quiet vegetarian cafe/restaurant located in San Jose, California, his current living place. He smiles and stands when I approach and I am momentarily taken aback by his changed appearance from the teenager who had appeared in the Daria show to the man before me: Ted is taller and rougher, has grown a disheveled beard and his hair is longer and seems slightly unkempt. He is also wearing a formal business suit. But his handshake is strong and frank, and his smile open and carefree, just like the teenager one can see in the episodes. We sit, me for a coffee and him to have lunch, the only time is has available for this interview.
• Siblings, by LOTR_Dan (COMPLETE!): "It's my fault they're dead, you know. It's my fault they went out into that storm." [What happened after things went wrong in "Antisocial Climbers."]
  
• Tales of the Ringbearers: Bad Apple—The Second Raid, by Doggieboy (Part 1): Electro-Shock looked away, his expression pensive. "If this is a Ringbearer's house," he muttered, "then God help you all when he comes back." He moved towards the front door. "God help me when he comes back." (preview here)
  
• Unnamed story (Falling into College: The Clip Show), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Reading the PPMB thread off his laptop computer in the office of the Psych Detective Agency, Gus Burton looked across the room at the sound of Shawn Spencer and the attractive Latina's argument getting louder and louder. "It blew up the Floating Continent in one shot the very first time they used it!" the woman almost shouted, the blueberry cake donut in her tightening fist falling to pieces. "The Argo was built from the remains of a World War II battleship, while that THING is the size of a small moon!"

Happy Boss's Day!

Eric Schrecter is our mascot for Boss's Day today. This is a day for "thanking workplace superiors for being kind and fair throughout the year." And while you're choking that one down, today is also World Food Day, which I assume means you celebrate it by eating. Fair enough.

It's also the birthday anniversary of the Dictionary Man, Noah Webster, and the day (over 100 years ago) when they dug up the Cardiff Giant, one of the biggest hoaxes of all time. You have to read about this one, it's great.

Oh, and three years from now, UFO nut Artie is going to shoot Angier Sloane with an alien weapon. That's about it for the news. moar l8r

X Stands for "The Lawndale File"

We need more Artie fics, I was just thinking. Let's see, ten years ago exactly, "The Lawndale File" was released from its cage on MTV. I wrote a bit about this last year. Not sure how many more Daria fanfics or fanfic concepts were spawned from this episode. Anyone have any favorites? (I liked this one.) There was a naughty story based on Artie and the aliens, I recall, but we won't go there. If someone could fix up the appropriate page in DariaWiki, we would all be very grateful.

Going to the Midwest US Dariacon? Check here!

What else is going on... the President of the United States turns 48 today. Many more happies to you.

Ninety-seven years ago today, a man was born in Sweden who had a mostly obscure and unremarkable life until he saw people around him being persecuted, hounded, forced into railroad cars to be taken away to death camps. He then did a very remarkable thing: he began saving people. No one can say how many Hungarian Jews Raoul Wallenberg rescued from certain death, though it is in the tens of thousands at least. Thank you for everything.

Oh! And who could forget Saint Sithney, whose feast day this is? Someone really needs to write a story about this Saints' Day Holiday from Holiday Island High School. He is really and truly the patron saint of mad dogs. That's what I said. Perhaps he is still trying to heal Jake Morgendorffer's emotional trauma from this mad dog.

Moar 2 kumm. Stae toond. Oh! Right, someone asked for a link to that alter ego of Daria as a motorcyclist. Here it is. It was part of a screensaver posted on The N's website once. I used it as "D-Day" Morgendorffer, but it is exactly the same pic. Enjoy.

National Pizza with Everything (Except Anchovies) Day!

You've got to wonder about how some of these holidays got started. Today is National Pizza with Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. Only one way to celebrate that.

Our mascot for today is, predictably, Artie, shown here the moment he appears in "A Tree Grows in Lawndale," working at Pizza King. He had three speaking walk-ons in the series.

Latest DariaWiki entry: Meta Yo Mama, by Brother Grimace.

When It Happened

Richard Lobinske has done a very unusual thing, which is to give a real date to the moment when Daria Morgendorffer met Our Heroine, Jane Lane. That moment was on October 14th, 1996 (as best as we can tell). Happy twelve years, you two.

In celebration, you may wish to read two of Richard's stories with this date: "Esteeming Lysistrata" and "John."

Today is also an important date in UFOlogy, which Daria would love. To learn more about it, check this out. Our alien masters would be proud. In honor of that, you may wish to read a special anthology of Artie fics, right here.

And, last but least, today is World Standards Day, who without a doubt is the most boring anal-retentive kid at Holiday Island High. I have spoken.

Damn, has there been a lot of fanfiction written lately!


FF.net

• Daylight: Trek, by Smileyfax (Part 1): Daria has a most unusual companion in tow when things take a bad turn.

PPMB

• Blood, Sweat, and Cheers, by Kristen Bealer (Part 3): TURN AWAY! AVERT YOUR EYES! IF YOU READ THIS, YOU'LL NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN!
• Daylight: Dayside, by Legendeld (Part 1): A very bad way to have your dinner interrupted.
• Daylight: Final Field Trip, by Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 1): "Daria? Is that you?" It was Jane. She could feel the sheer terror in the other girl's voice.
• Daylight: Remember When the Music, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Mystik Spiral, in the long years after.
• End of the Line, by Legendeld (Part 6): Three fanfiction characters in a very peculiar training session—but now these other "family" members have appeared! Weird!
  
• I Knew It! by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): Daria learns the truth, and then learns a new truth that makes her whole. [Great ending.]
• Mobius Strip, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): Quinn knelt down as well. Daria saw her exhale as she worked the equation through her head. No longer was Quinn bound to use the watered down version Mobius had created for her. She was now the true master of the Continuum.
  
• Origins of the Ringbearers: Let Vengeance Ring, by Richard Lobinske (Part 7): Her laugh was cut short when she felt that something very terrible was about to happen. She reached to her friend and said, "Jane..." [This is intense.]
• The Quinn Show, by Disco316 (Part 5): Ho-lee Moses. My jaw hit the floor on this chapter. Whoa.
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Helen meets with The Man . . . but not, fortunately, with Himself.

Son of Alien Nation (Part 3)

Yes, it is time again for a few more alien lifeforms that you can find in canon in Daria. The yellow-green bipedal insectoid thing that walks in front of the Morgendorffers at the UFO convention in "Esteemsters" could be a human in costume, or it could be an extraterrestrial using the simplest possible disguise: pretend to be a costumed human at a UFO convention.

"The Lawndale File" offers the intriguing idea that Daria and Jane are themselves alien sex goddesses, but Richard Lobinske beat everyone to the punch with "It's That Guy."

Finally, Artie is himself probably knowledgeable about a vast number of aliens, having been kidnapped so often by them. See his cameo on the MTV website, for instance. For all we know, he is an alien.

Resources #2: Delusions

One of the most interesting psychiatric diagnoses is delusional disorder, which is pretty much what it sounds like. Someone has certain fixed delusions that are not subject to reality testing, no matter what evidence is presented to the contrary. I am reminded of this disorder whenever I visit the "Nick's Corner" forum of PPMB, but also when watching Daria and Artie the UFO contactee appears. It also comes to mind (a little) when Tiffany complains about being fat. Jake's issues with his dead father seem reality based, so they aren't delusional per se.

A lot of people have delusions, but the only time those delusions come into conflict with society (and qualify as a disorder) is when someone asks the question, "Is this person a danger to himself/herself or to others?" and the answer comes up "Yes." If the person is not a threat, then he's a kook, a local character, someone ignored or tolerated. This sounds about like Artie, assuming he hasn't really been abducted by aliens as he claims. There is the possibility that Artie has some frightening delusions he hasn't mentioned, however, and that could be a problem.

Poke around with the online links to delusional disorder and see if some story ideas develop. Artie is surely not the only odd person in Lawndale.