He Cried All the Way to the Bank...Because He Had No Money to Deposit

Mr. DeMartino is having a great time as Liberace for the anniversary of the late entertainer's birth in 1919, but who knew he could play piano? I mean, we know that he can cook (when he has money for food), play hockey, and do 400 upside-down sit-ups in a row, so this is clearly a man of many talents.

I'm sure Daria and Jane will be happy to celebrate National Pizza Party Day, but I don't see how this would differ from any other day. I suspect that they'll either ignore the "party" aspect or redefine it to refer to a gathering of two people and no one else.

On the other hand, maybe Daria will celebrate National Piercing Day by getting her belly button re-perforated. I sincerely doubt it, though, and even if she decided to do it there is almost zero chance that she'd go to Axl's parlor to do so.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 7): "Daria briefly engaged with that same strange dream she kept returning to before waking up once more."


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 10): "It was nearing a quarter to seven and despite the fact that she’d been repeatedly telling herself that it’s only a football date, Katie found herself fidgeting."


• Nicole Gets Trumped, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn was in the office of the restaurant that she co-owns with her husband Jim, his uncle Vito and Vito's wife Lizzy. Today was her turn to be on site. She was going over some paperwork when there was a knock on the door." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Across the cafeteria, Quinn joined Stacy, Tori and Tiffany. 'Have you found out anything else?' Tori asked."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "On the whiteboard outside her room, Jane saw, 'Went to J's place for the weekend. Back Sunday night. - S' She breathed a sigh of relief and unlocked the door. One less thing to explain."

Yo Quiero Designer Clothes!

Quinn appears to be embracing her inner...female dog...because it's International Chihuahua Appreciation Day. Most of the chihuahuas I've met have been tiny balls of rage, but I will do my best to appreciate them. From a safe distance.

If you're interested in hellbeasts, though, then you'll be pleased to know that today is the (approximate) anniversary of the birth of Dante Alighieri in 1265. He was the author of The Inferno, referenced in Is It Fall Yet? and the inspiration for the game "Daria's Inferno."

Finally, it was on this day in 1804 that Lewis and Clark set out on their famous expedition, intended to explore President Jefferson's recent Louisiana Purchase, a massive splurge worthy of any member of the Fashion Club. This expansion was a major driver of Manifest Destiny, in which people (not including many Mexicans) claimed it was God's will for the U.S. to expand all the way to the Pacific Ocean.

Fandom News!

• Are Monique and the Harpies likely to be a Zon band?

I Guess There are Worse Days to be Eternally Stuck In

It's May 12th, an important day for the Morgendorffer household because the page-a-day calendar in their kitchen inexplicably always seems to be on that day. I don't know why; it could be some kind of Groundhog Day scenario or maybe they're just too lazy to change it. Either is equally possible.

Good news for history teachers named DeMartino, because it's also National Anthony Day! Sadly, the holiday doesn't come with any cash, gifts, or time off from teaching, so I don't suppose he'll be particularly amused.

Elsewhere in the high school, someone should wish the never-seen Nurse Chase a happy International Nurses Day while she's collecting voluntary urine samples from the students. Just don't ask her to look at that weird rash on your neck.

Fanfic Update!

• I feel very normal today, by whiteboycqrl (part 16): " I’ve been stuck in a loop These past few days that the heat has risen And I close my curtains during the day, in order to block any speck of heat and light from coming in I’ve been relieving the exact same day I’m stuck in my bed"


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 9): "Katie wasn’t able to get back to Wesley until the following morning. School let out shortly after PE and he’d gotten his stuff and left by the time she got to her locker to pick up her textbooks."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 2): "When they awoke, Jane saw Daria's black hair was wavy from sleep. She never realized how much it softened her face. Maybe she could try wearing it like that more often. Maybe she could do some other things too."

This Should Throw Don Quixote for a Loop!

Brittany has undergone a massive transformation for Windmill Day, and I think she's going to be very upset when she realizes she can't hold her pom-poms anymore. Kevin will be even more upset when he sees the relatively small size of Brittany's...windows.

If Daria or Quinn need some extra cash, they could call up the Gupty parents because it's National Babysitters Day! On the other hand, I don't think anyone needs money that badly.

Instead, Daria and Jane could settle in for another Sick, Sad World marathon in honor of Stay Up All Night Day. Staying up all night is also Trent's preferred method of dealing with an early morning wake-up, but we all know how well that turns out in the end.

Jane Should Give Back that Bonus Sock

Daria is apparently celebrating the exact opposite of No Socks Day by wearing socks but no shoes (or boots, in this case). Considering her contrarian nature, this is an entirely predictable act on her part.

In world history news, today is V-E Day, or the anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe in 1945. As far as this relates to Daria, according to Mr. DeMartino all of his teaching supplies were manufactured prior to this date. Given Ms. Li's financial priorities, I don't think that's nearly as much as an exaggeration as you'd expect.

I'm saving the best for last, though, because it's National Give Someone a Cupcake Day and who wouldn't enjoy a sweet treat? Unless they're the "heart-smart" lima bean cupcakes Helen baked in "Jake of Hearts," that is.

Fanfic Update!

• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 13): "'Which was?' Quinn asked quietly. 'Like, I was sensing something,' Stacy answered."


• I feel very normal today, by whiteboycqrl (part 15): "i hate heat I hate it hate I hate it so much"


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "Katie walked up to the entrance of Lawndale High and got in line to go inside. My second week at Lawndale High, she thought. Here goes."


• The Muliebrity, by janendaria4life (part 5): "About three days later Helen walked into the living room only to find Daria laying on the couch, arms over her chest. Sapped. Bags under her eyes."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'So, where are you headed?' Daria asked. 'I could drive you?' 'The Historia at first,' Anna answered. 'Apparently, SpiderGirl is often on the roof.'"


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 1): "Jane wiped the back of her hand against her sweaty forehead as she and Daria crossed the lush green lawns of Raft. 'What I don't understand is why I need to come to your extra credit session.'"

The Most Infamous Blimp in the World

I see that Daria has chosen to observe a moment of...something in honor of the Hindenburg, which exploded on this day in 1937. In addition to Daria's locker homage, the disaster was also referenced in "I Loathe a Parade" in an exchange between Tom and Daria:

Tom: It's like the Hindenburg.

Daria: Oh, the lack of humanity.

There's good news, however, for the staff at Lawndale High School because it's National Teacher’s Day! Of course, that doesn't make up for the lousy pay and the frustrating students and the corrupt principal, but...well, at least they get a special day to be miserable during?

I think it might be a good idea for them to celebrate Beverage Day, especially if the beverage in question is alcoholic. Jake's probably already way ahead of him with a martini, and Helen's drink of choice is most likely coffee in spite of Quinn's protests.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Ruth Buzzi and Jill Sobule.

Just Keep Jake Away from the Paper Towels!

Trent is ready to fight any fires that show up on International Firefighters Day, as long as those fires start before he falls asleep and are extinguished before he comes up with some song lyrics that he needs to write down. If he could just remember not to build any fires in the rooms that don't have fireplaces, Jane will probably be satisfied with his work.

If you'd like to celebrate Bird Day by getting yourself a new pet, be sure to get to Mr. Matthews's pet store before Quinn tries to feed them and loses one. On the other hand, you might be able to get a free canary if you check the mall's air filtration system later on.

May the Fourth be with you on Star Wars Day, or at least with those of you who are Star Wars geeks. There are a surprising number of Daria/Star Wars crossovers out there, considering the difference between the two, but that's fanfic for you!

Fanfic Update!

• Blur of the Night, by Captain_Morgan93 (COMPLETE!): "The sky over Lawndale was a sullen slab of gray, the kind of Saturday afternoon that made you want to crawl back into bed with a book and a grudge against the world."


• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "The light, a cool, misty grey, filtered through the windows of the grease trap Daria and Jane had parked themselves at on Friday afternoon."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "'Temperatures are continuing to drop,' Janel said. That definitely wasn't good."


• Make It Tolerable, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "'How can you stand this place?!' 'Um, ‘cause I’m one of the guards instead of the prisoners?'"


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up from what she was confident had to be the worst nap ever. It felt like she’d been ripped from the arms of the Sandman with an air raid siren."

"Goo, goo!"

Although Evan Landon is just adorable, he isn't eligible to celebrate Baby Day because the kid would be almost thirty by now. Future Quinn's youngest from Daria's story in "Write Where It Hurts" might qualify, though, and there might even be more if she never got around to having her tubes tied.

The good news is that Evan is also celebrating National No Pants Day, or at least he is in the photo. I'm hoping that present day Evan is, in fact, wearing pants. Unlike Jake and Trent during "Daria!," where apparently pants were optional in spite of the hurricane.

Finally, it was on this day in 1863 that "Stonewall" Jackson was shot by friendly fire, but history does not relate whether or not the shots were retribution for his Johnnycakes.

Later, Tater!

Mr. O'Neill's head is even emptier than usual for Mr. Potato Head Day, if such a thing is actually possible. The good news is that, in this form, at least he'll be slightly more entertaining!

I see he stuck with his usual hairdo, though, but that's okay because it's Hairstyle Appreciation Day. I think that Jane appreciates her own hair much more than she used to ever since the dye incident, but I doubt she'll ever ask Daria for help if she wants to change it in the future.

At least she can count on Daria for an honest opinion on any hairstyle changes, and not just because it's Honesty Day. Daria doesn't hold her opinions back on any day, for any reason.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 23): "Julia woke up with the sense that she was in a strange bed. Her mind shifted from sleepiness to full wakeful alert: where was she and why was she here?"


• Fake It to Break It, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The Sloane estate was quiet — too quiet — the silence broken only by the occasional shuffle of their Martha rushing through the kitchen to check on the roast, or the faint hiss of the tea kettle simmering to a boil."


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 5): "It was an average Friday morning. Daria and Jane were forced to attend this compulsory activity (some would say it was a chore, with the exception of missing class time) after making out the night prior."


• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 6): "More than anything, Daria wishes that it could just be summer already. It’s been a week since she kissed Jane and lost Tom."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 15): "They left the Library through the QuinMillennial wing. 'Even this most modern part of the Library echoes the earlier parts,' Janara said."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 4): "Finally, the school day was over, and Daria wondered why she couldn’t have spent the whole time in her room with a book."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Shortly afterwards, Quinn changed to SpiderGirl on the roof of the theater. The themes of change resonated with her, specially with the changes she had undergone since she got bit by that spider and after her father died."


• The Way Things Go, by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer stared out the window of the Greyhound bus, watching the streets of Lawndale pass."

It's a Bird! It's a Lane!

Jane is up, up, and away for National Superhero Day, but I think she's taking her friend's job away. See, Daria has already said that "at night, I fight crime in a stretchy-stretchy costume" and I don't think she would appreciate the competition.

Meanwhile, let's hope that neither Quinn nor Andrea get it into their heads to celebrate Great Poetry Reading Day. On the other hand, I'd be happy to hear another poster contest gem from Jane and Daria...as long as Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill don't get to it first.

All of the Daria characters who are in relationships should know that today is Kiss Your Mate Day and it's open season for smooches. Maybe someone should have told Daria that it was never Kiss Your Mate's Mate Day, but I suppose it's too late for that now.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts and predictions about the selection of a new pope.


• hal1776 has officially deleted all social media.

Quit Horsing Around!

I don't think Quinn quite understands the point of National Help A Horse Day, but kudos to her for never skipping arm day. I can't even imagine what the rest of the Fashion Club will say when they see what she's wearing, though.

Things will get even worse for her if she also decides to celebrate National No Makeup Day, although I'm not sure Quinn could cope with that kind of deprivation. Even if she's supposedly "the kind of person who doesn't really need makeup."

Finally, a very happy Alien Day to Artie, who will hopefully be celebrating here on Earth and not on some alien spaceship getting his pants nicely pressed. Daria could go back to the UFO convention, but if she tries to take her family along then Quinn will probably throw a horse at her.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 4): "It was faster than a bullet from a gun, quicker than the blinking of an eye. That electric jolt of dopamine entered both their brains, a rush of understanding finally was understood between the two."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 6): "'Every time I look at you I don’t understand!' Trent sang. 'Why you let the things you did get so out of hand? You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned. Why...' Trent coughed."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 1): "'Next on Sick, Sad, World.' Daria rolled her eyes and then switched the channel in hopes there was a channel that didn’t go on ad-break."


• Just a Girl, by Panwarcriminal (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood at the door of Jane’s apartment. She knew what Jane planned, if you could call just saying 'Let’s get dinner and see where the night goes' a plan, but Daria knew one thing was certain: she was going to come out to Jane."


• You Really Got a Hold on Me, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Tom sat in a booth at Pizza King, every few minutes taking bites when they weren't getting easily distracted into conversation with one another."

Welcome to the Fascist Club

It looks like the Fashion Club has chosen to take Fashion Revolution Day quite literally, so everyone had better be careful. The next person to wear last season's shoes might find themselves in front of a firing squad!

I hope that Daria's lab rat from her project with Kevin is having a pleasant and Brian Taylor-free World Day for Laboratory Animals. At the very least, I hope he doesn't have to run any mazes if he doesn't want to.

Jane, meanwhile, will be happy to know that today is the anniversary of the birth of artist Willem de Kooning in 1904. Perhaps Trent could celebrate by getting her a signed photograph of the man that doesn't misspell his name!

Fandom News!

• Shady Doorags reviews "Dye Dye My Darling."


• psychotol discusses the latest news about Nigel Farage.

A Quinnup Girl!

Quinn is looking very retro for National Pinup Day, and I can just imagine how the three Js would react to seeing this. No shock that she's on the phone, though. Quinn has the same hobbies in any decade.

Perhaps Tom and Daria can have another "morgue chat" about Vladimir Lenin, since today is the anniversary of his birth in 1870. I'm sure Jane would prefer that they didn't, however. I think she has a point.

It would at least be more interesting than talking about Immanuel Kant, also born on this day in 1724. The "dry, ponderous intellectual" put Tom to sleep, so I can't imagine the conversation would be very exciting.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria in "The Gap", by SisterCatherine (COMPLETE!): "Though she would be loath to admit it, Daria had been excited for college. The change of pace was direly needed, and after learning that she wouldn’t have to part with Jane, she was as close to eager as she really could be."


• Daria Morgendorffer vs Daphne Blake, by kllngjk2 (COMPLETE!): "On this afternoon, Daria Morgendorffer is walking on the street of Lawndale, her hometown. Due to the fact that both the weather and sun are pleasant, the lady decided to take some fresh air."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 3): "If nothing else, Daria felt reassured by the fact that clique rigidity in the lunch room was a multiversal constant."


• Quinn Gets Medieval, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Artie was at the entrance to Medieval Times wearing a Star Fleet uniform and haggling with the host."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "A minute later, they were on top of the Historia."


• Troubles of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?'"


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 3): "'Hey.' Tom sat down at the Pizza King with Jane on a Thursday evening. She called him on his phone the night prior, asking to talk about something serious."

It's High Time!

Looks like Trent just finished celebrating 420, so don't expect too much from him for awhile. Or ever. Admittedly, he isn't really the most reliable or intelligent character even when not high, so keep your expectations especially low today.

If he gets the munchies later and needs a snack, today is also National Cheddar Fries Day! Daria, fan of cheese fries that she is, would be willing to join him if she could only speak two words in a row in his presence.

Finally, happy Easter Sunday to all in fandom who celebrate!

Fandom News!

• wouter shares a comic page he created with Daria and Jane on security footage.

For Once, I WANT To Hit On Upchuck!

Upchuck has finally found his true calling in life, and just in time for National Piñata Day! I expect Upchuck would be a lot more popular with people if he came with free candy, especially if you had to beat him savagely in order to get it.

If you're in the mood for less violent entertainment, there's always International Juggler’s Day. Jodie and Helen both know quite a bit about metaphorical jugging thanks to their workloads, but it remains to be seen if either of them is skilled at the literal version.

Let's just hope that Bing and the Spatula Man don't try to put in an appearance for World Amateur Radio Day. Before anyone tries to claim that, being paid, they aren't technically amateurs, I suggest you take another look at the act and try to tell me there's anything professional about either of them.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 2): "'Daria, what do you find important in your life as a writer?' Mr. O’Neill inquired."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 5): "Alfred found a space to park the Mustang in a parking garage. 'We’ll probably just leave it here the whole vacation.' Alfred said. 'Most places are easier to get to by walking or subway.'"


• Prom Bomb (Making a Statement), by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "It was a quiet Friday evening. Tom and Daria sat in Daria’s room—Daria perched at her desk, working on a new piece of literature, while Tom lounged on her bed, reading her copy of Brave New World."


• Quinn Gets Medieval, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Jim was driving his new car, a 2025 Mustang GT500, down the road. Soon, he was approaching his destination, a Medieval Times location." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Quentin Beck got off the bus. He looked at the terminal in front of him."

Do Tramps Have Low Self-Esteem?

Looks like Mr. O'Neill found a new way to act the fool, but at least with Charlie Chaplin the act was truly an act, not reality. The silent film star was born on this day in 1889, and entertained far more people without speaking than the teacher could ever hope for by opening his mouth.

However, today is not a day for silent films, because it's also World Voice Day and talkies are now a thing. I suppose Stacy could celebrate by "accidentally" cursing Sandi with laryngitis again, because Sandi's silence was sure a pleasant time for the whole Fashion Club.

Somebody should let Jake know that it's National Stress Awareness Day, because it might be good to check in on his mental health status. Then again, perhaps that's a bad idea: "Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!"

So Long and Thanks for All the Cheers!

It looks like Brittany is enjoying National Dolphin Day very much, but I think she'll find it hard to hold her pom-poms with flippers. On the bright side, she's probably much smarter as a dolphin than she ever was as a human being.

Please, no one tell Ms. Barch that today is Ex Spouse Day! I'm worried that it might set her off, but now that I think about it, for her every day is Ex Spouse Day. And it's nothing to celebrate for her!

Finally, on this day in 1997 and 2000, the episodes "The Lab Brat" and "Of Human Bonding" first aired. Although there weren't any dolphins featured in either of them, Brittany ended up completely drenched changing the water in Upchuck's fish tank in the first one. I guess she didn't stay out of the splash zone.

Fanfic Update!

• Green Around the Radiator Grills, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Kevin was hanging out in the parking lot with some of his teammates after practice. The group included the three Js as well as Stacy's older brother, Adam. The other guys watched as Adam was shining his car, a 1999 Pontiac Trans-Am T-top." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Is It the Purge Yet?, by laycoolhero8 (part 1): "'Next on Sick, Sad, World.' Daria rolled her eyes and then switched the channel in hopes there was a channel that didn't go on ad-break."


• The Muliebrity, by janendaria4life (parts 1 - 4): "Daria had agreed to dye Jane's hair. She was terrible at painting, let alone dying her best friend's hair for the first time striped to resemble a tiger."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 14): "Freya first looked at the place the manuscript had been. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. The shelf looked ordinary and the neighboring manuscripts were mostly undisturbed."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 2): "Jane’s face burned red with embarrassment, even as she tried to keep her eyes on the road and away from all parties involved. Daria thought the shade wasn’t that far off from her top."


• Long Distance Prank Calls (Mini Crossovers), by cfardellbrenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "It was a normal busy day at Vitale, et al. The phone rang."

He Does Blow a Lot of Hot Air, Though

Wind looks pleased to learn that today is Big Wind Day, but I'm pretty sure the holiday is for the weather event rather than people named Wind (or Ronald). I think all of Lawndale would rather not celebrate this one, though, as the sort of hurricane they experienced previously was probably more than enough excitement for a lifetime.

On the other hand, Wind definitely won't be celebrating National Only Child Day, because the Lane family is many things but "small" is not one of them. Quinn might try to celebrate if she thinks she can get away with it, but I hope she doesn't.

Quinn would probably be better off observing International Day of Pink by wearing one of her favorite shirts or adding even more pink to her bedroom. Daria will observe by staying far away from anything pink.

Fore!

Jake is out there living his best life for Golfer’s Day, although I feel some sympathy for that poor caddy. Still, it's one of the rare times that things work out for Jake, especially when you consider the chaos going on elsewhere during this episode. Enjoy that legendary thirteenth hole!

Meanwhile, Helen is either drunkenly fighting with or drunkenly making up with her sisters for National Siblings Day, and honestly it might be a little of both. Quinn and Daria might also celebrate, if either is willing to claim the other at this point.

Depending on her mood, Daria might instead decide to write another unflattering essay, since it's National Farm Animals Day. Apparently that essay about feeling like a big misfit whom everybody hates had some unfortunate comparisons, but I honestly would love to read it.

Fanfic Update!

• Disaffected, by avav3 (part 1): "Maybe I flatter myself, but I think I could be a professional writer if I put my mind to it. A bitter, angry hack who starts fistfights at cocktail parties–I could do that job."


• The Evening Nudes, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Ruttheimer (nee Rowe) was showing her twelve-year-old daughter, Quinn (Q for short) around the studio. Stacy was a news anchor at WSBC and, as such, was dressed in a business suit consisting of a sky-blue jacket over a white blouse with matching skirt." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 4): "'I am going to the picnic.' said Alfred as the Mustang sped down the highway. 'And I am going to bring an abstract sculpture, a Bunsen burner and...Captain America!'"

A Day for Birdbrains

Jane has already finished celebrating Draw a Bird Day, and in fact has done so twice by drawing two birds...or rather reimaginings of two people as birds. If she really gets on a roll, she could always draw Penny's parrot Chiquito, as long as she doesn't get too close.

A safer option might be to visit the zoo and draw some of the safely-confined birds there in honor of Zoo Lover’s Day! While she's there, she could visit the tigers and reminisce about her hair dye experience. Or not.

If you prefer sharks to birds and tigers, then you should spend some quality time with Helen for International Be Kind to Lawyers Day. Or at least, you can try, but I'm sure she's too busy to chat and could her assistant deal with this please?

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Val Kilmer and Jay North.

A Grave Holiday

Daria invites everyone to celebrate Plan Your Epitaph Day, but especially her sister. I suspect Quinn's epitaph would emphasize both the bounciness of her hair and the invisibility of her pores.

For those who would prefer to sleep than rest in peace, there's always National Pajama Day. Daria can get comfy in her Mark Twain nightshirt while Helen can humiliate Quinn (who is not having a great day, apparently) by wearing the bumblebees again.

Finally, Brittany's whole family can celebrate National Taylor Day and, according to The Daria Database, so can one of the Lanes' never-seen cats. I assume Taylor the cat is not related to the Taylors, and with Brian around he should consider himself lucky.

Fanfic Update!

• Being a little different isn’t so bad, by Mr_peanutbutter (COMPLETE!): "Her parents were fighting and screaming again, and it was all because of her. Daria was young, but she wasn’t dumb. She knew they were mad because she was different from other kids."


• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 17): "'Hello, Wednesday,' said Daria. 'I guess I ought to make introductions. Wednesday, this is my mother Helen Morgendorffer.'"


• Hell High, by avav3 (part 2): "A few weeks had passed since I first started here at Lawndale, but my mother’s voice still echoed in my head about joining extracurriculars."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 13): "After a couple of classes, Olivia Marcus was back in the Nordic Section of the Main Library. She had taken a break over Sunday, talking with Janara as she gamed and listening to various audiobooks."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 1): "Endless droning words. That’s all Daria figured Mr. O’Neil had to contribute."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Dafoanairi also emerged onto the first floor, and had heard Ninja Talon point out the ‘fourth vigilante’"

I Hope Brian Taylor Won't Celebrate This One

Be sure to check your medicine cabinet for intruders because it's World Rat Day and you can't be too careful. As far as Jake's concerned, squirrels count for this holiday as well because "squirrels are nothing but rats with fluffy tails!" Now, where did he leave that cheese?

If you'd rather have something healthier than cheese, you could celebrate International Carrot Day instead. Just make sure you get to them before the Fashion Club does, because carrot sticks are their snack of choice.

Since it's Tell a Lie Day, you could always claim that you ate carrots when in reality you pigged out on pizza and ice cream. I mean, who's going to check up on you? I sure won't. I'll be too busy with my own pizza and ice cream to care.

Walk on the Mild Side

Jane is helping Daria celebrate National Walking Day, because the last thing Daria wants is to celebrate Run Into Crap Day because she isn't wearing her glasses. Helen might choose to observe by powerwalking, at least if she can get a few minutes away from work.

Jake, on the other hand, will be too busy with National DIY Day to do any walking. If he's done (badly) repairing the light in the dining room, he really should get around to fixing that loose floorboard all the way at the other end of the house.

I hope Jane decides to spend the day painting, but only until she gets tired. She wouldn't want to risk burnout, which happened in the episode "Art Burn," which aired on this day in 2001.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 4): "Jane really thought that by October of 2002 they’d finally be done with that damn song."


• Lawndale, Meet Hell, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane were your average pair of cynical, sarcastic, bitchy even, outcasts living in a stupid town with stupid people who did stupid things in it."

Suburban Gothic

Daria and Tom look pleasantly agricultural in honor of National Farm Workers Day, but I seriously doubt either one of them has so much as planted a flower in their lives. Trent, however, might still reach that hypothetical goal of becoming a farmer paid not to grow crops.

If he does actually raise any crops, I would recommend potatoes because it's National Tater Day and those cheese fries have to come from somewhere. Just don't let Quinn see them, or else she might complain about Angela's Ashtray again.

Finally, the episodes "Malled" and "The F Word" aired on this day in 1997 and 2000, although neither of them featured anyone growing potatoes.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Richard Chamberlain.

Poor Unfashionable Soul

Quinn has found a way to make her hair bouncier than ever by celebrating Mermaid Day, but she will be horrified when she realizes that she's wearing last season's seashells. I just hope she gets out of the water before she gets, in Stacy's words, "all pruny."

Perhaps Trent and Jane can take the opportunity on National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day to revisit Earl and Barbara and try some more of their cellophane cheese sandwiches and overpriced cookies. On second thought, it might be better to just skip the trip down memory lane.

On this day in 1998, the episode "The New Kid" aired. In it, we got to meet a rarely-seen, slightly eccentric, and somewhat childlike new character. That's right, it was Robert's time to shine!

Fanfic Update!

• Closer Than Before, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "Daria awoke the next morning to silence. She sat up straight in bed, rubbing her face with her hands, her hair tousled."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Quinn arrived at school not long after. She began hearing rumors of Jamie’s claim as she headed to Homeroom."


• Waif's Newest Addition, by janendaria4life (part 1): "It was just like any regular day for Quinn Morgendorffer as she giddily walked around Cashman's."

Just an Average Joe

Joey is surprised to find that there's an entire day just for him, National Joe Day, although I don't think he ever went by "Joe" at any point during the series. Still, it might give him just the edge he needs against Jeffy and Jamie and...who am I kidding? Quinn will never look twice at any of them.

Travis the Singing Cowboy, on the other hand, might regale her with a special tune for Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day and buy her a cute cowgirl outfit with her own money. As Daria might say, "Well, bust my legs and call me Shorty."

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Lawyer

Helen is definitely breaking the law firm's dress code, but that's okay because it's Elton John's birthday and he has always been all about shattering norms and expectations. I just hope Quinn doesn't catch her in those clunky shoes, because if she thought drinking coffee was a fashion don't then this will drive her completely through the roof.

For those who prefer a more low-key holiday, there's always Tolkien Reading Day! You can curl up with The Silmarillion or take Jake's example and celebrating by making a wax...hobbit? Who knows, really.

If you get hungry during all of that reading, you can finish by celebrating International Waffle Day. Just make sure you check the sell-by date if you don't want to develop a very mild stomachache.

Fanfic Update!

• Ambivalence, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer sat on her bed, phone in hand as she talked with Stacy Rowe."


• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 16): "The speeches over and the meet-and-greet with the Nevermore faculty and staff began to wind down. Interesting people, thought Helen."


• Death of a Muscle Car, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Jim's Camaro was heading back to Lawndale. Outside, the weather was becoming increasingly overcast. Inside, Jim was giving Timmy the silent treatment as he drove."


• Hell High, by avav3 (part 1): "Well, Lawndale certainly wasn’t a downgrade. It was a free fall. Fielding burned itself to the ground, and now I was stuck sifting through the ashes of public school."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "Freya entered the dining hall for lunch. She found two she hadn't talked to yet that day near one of the windows that looked out onto the courtyard next to the Hall."


• Scornful Ties, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon's parents, Andrew and Michele, made it much clear that they had a extremely important event occurring that Friday night and since they, supposedly, 'trusted her judgement,' she'd be babysitting her younger siblings, Rachel and Evan."

When It Rains Cats and Dogs, It Pores!

Puddie-Pie, Fifi, Snuggles, and Bark are too sleepy to wish you a happy National Puppy Day, so I'll do it on their behalf. Quietly, of course, because who would want to wake up those adorable little guys?

If you're more of a cat person than a dog person, then I have good news: it's also Cuddly Kitten Day! If you don't have a kitten of your own to cuddle, you could always put out a squirrel trap and see if Mr. Whiskers is in a cuddling mood. I doubt it, though.

Both puppies and kittens are awfully cute, but Quinn's pores are even cuter, as she pointed out in the episode "Monster," which aired on this day in 1998. Of course, you can't see them, so you'll have to take her word for it.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., George Foreman.

Roses are Red, Your Soul is Dead....

Good news! Andrea is going to regale us with a few rhymes about rotting flesh in honor of World Poetry Day. This is good news because the alternative was to listen to Quinn's latest masterpiece about greasy fries.

If you're in the mood to laugh instead, you could always take Jane's advice and watch poetry being read by puppets to celebrate World Puppetry Day. Just imagine, gorgeous sonnets being recited by puppets flailing their skinny little puppet arms!

Daria might be interested to know that today is National Teenager Day, so there's an entire holiday just for her and her fellow teens. However, the holiday doesn't include getting the day off school, so I doubt she'll be very impressed by it.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Morgendorffer vs Velma Dinkley, by kllngjk2 (COMPLETE!): "Lawndale, Maryland. Daria Morgendorffer just returned home from a Alice Cooper concert; she went there with Jane Lane, her close friend."


• Death of a Muscle Car, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn, Jim, their son Timmy and his girlfriend Q were gathered in the driveway. Jim was less than thrilled." (Part 2)


• Quinn-tessential, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Oh God, how embarrassing. She realized that she had fallen for her sister's boyfriend. Quinn trudged up the stairs to go to her room."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Jamie looked around as Mr. Elders gave a tour of the Solarium. 'It looks more like a lair than a solarium.'"

Gather Around for Story Time!

Daria is celebrating International Read To Me Day with her classmates, but it looks like the girls are getting more than they bargained for. They should just be grateful that Daria isn't telling them one of her original stories, like the Hansel and Gretel remix or one of Melody Powers's bloodbaths.

Unfortunately, Daria's originals don't always meet expectations, as she found out in "The Story of D," which aired on this day in 2001. I guess she could try workshopping it with her classmates and see what they think about flesh-eating viruses.

Although it's International Client's Day, I suppose for Jake that's every day. Just remember, Jake, cigars for pets is a brilliant idea if your client thinks so.

Fandom News!

• wingzero needs to find out who owns the domain for the Dariawiki.

Sláinte!

It looks like Saint Patrick’s Day is happy about being able to celebrate his day, even if he's not too satisfied with his lot in life. I think that there are worse things out there than congenital green beer-scented breath, though.

Still, as long as he keeps that smile on his face he'll be able to celebrate Act Happy Day, too. I'm sure Daria will feel no obligation to join in, however, because she doesn't even act happy when she is happy!

The episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000, respectively. Each of them included a party of sorts: the Middleton kegger, the school dance, and Kevin's imaginary funeral. I'll let you decide which was the happiest occasion.

Fanfic Update!

• Closer Than Before, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The lights were dimmed low, strobe lights lay on the floor, the sharp flashes reflecting throughout the apartment. A rich smell of alcohol, cheap perfume, weed, and sweat lingered in the air."


• The Groomless Bride (Daria and The Gang Thread), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Helen called the Morgendorffers into the kitchen. 'Everyone! I've just received a very important letter!'"


• I Remember Aurora, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The winter air bit at her cheeks, but she welcomed the cold. It helped numb the dreary feelings that had been washing over her."


• Jim the Terminator, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "At 5:30 AM the alarm clock on Jim's side of the bed goes off. Jim groaned, hit the off switch and got out of bed with a resigned sigh." (Part 3)


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (part 3): "Daria, after an exhausting day of dealing with the antics of the ever desperate and unpleasant Beavis, walked casually from Highland High to her house."


• Meanwhile, at the Legion of Lawndale Heroes...., by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jamie: This meeting of the Legion of Lawndale Heroes will come to order. Now, I would like to talk about the use of lethal force clause in the Legion Constitution."


• Oh, No, I Don't Need You But I Miss You, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was Brittany Taylor's first month at Great Prairie State University, and here she was, sitting on her queen-sized bed that was neatly laid out in her dorm."


• Pollo Asado, by MoleFromTheMinistry (COMPLETE!): "It was a rainy night – the streets were extra slick, with inches of rain pouring down across Boston. Fortunately for every other Bostonian, Jane Lane drove Daria across the city after an... interesting day."

She Probably Should Have Beat Ms. Li Senseless with the Trophy Instead

Daria's all set to wow everyone with one of her awesome pep talks in honor of World Speech Day, but we all know that "pep" isn't actually her strong suit. Still, as long as she recommends eating pizza I think everyone can get behind her words of wisdom.

Let's just hope Kevin and Brittany don't get it into their heads to make a public statement, because that would really put the "dumb" in Dumbstruck Day. At the very least, the audience would be left completely bemused.

Artie, meanwhile, will probably be speaking loud and long about aliens, but that's okay because it's World Contact Day and it's appropriate to talk about aliens...in moderation. Today is not to be confused with a holiday about contact lenses, which Daria would far rather forget about.

Hello, Jello!

Brittany is awfully excited for International School Meals Day, but I hope that she's going to have more than just Jello. Daria and Jane will most likely round out their meal with some pizza and/or cheese fries...just what growing teenagers need.

They should consider adding some popcorn for Popcorn Lover’s Day, but I wouldn't recommend sharing the Fashion Club's no-salt, no-oil, fat-free popcorn. If you ask nicely or talk too much during a movie, Tom might offer you ten dollars to buy some popcorn and eat it elsewhere!

Quinn would do well to avoid celebrating National Earmuff Day, because the last pair she bought almost cost her her popularity and (potentially) her life. If you decide to enjoy a set of earmuffs, just try not to overlook any survival essentials.

Fanfic Update!

• Jim the Terminator, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Quinn, Jim and the triplets were sitting around the kitchen table having breakfast. As the family ate, they were discussing the day to come."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "After midnight, Dafoanairi climbed out the hall window and down the ivy covered trellis. She then left the Morgendorffers place into the laneway behind and headed towards High Hills Park that way."


• You're Standing On Our Necks, by Gojirob (COMPLETE!): "Outside the high school, Jodie Landon approached a girl who wasn't quite a friend, but who on the balance had her respect, at least moreso than most others she knew."

He's the QB of Horticulture

Kevin is doing his best to plant apple trees for Johnny Appleseed Day, or at least I hope that those are apple seeds. They could be pieces of dryer lint that someone told him were seeds and he'd believe it. But then again, if the Tommy Sherman Memorial Crutch can sprout then anything is possible.

Anything is definitely possible in dreams, so it's also appropriate that today is National Dream Day. I suppose Trent is probably celebrating right now. Daria might not want to, because some of the dreams we saw in the show were less than pleasant.

If she has that hospital dream about dying again, she should remind herself that it's just practice for her potential career as a mortician. Since it's National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day, I wish her every bit of luck if she did decide to follow that path!

Fandom News!

• Outpost Daria Reborn was having issues, but seems to be fixed now.

Don't Panic!

Daria and Jane are absolutely killing it for Panic Day, but I hope they each take a deep breath and calm down before they freak out completely. I figure you don't have to panic all day; just for a little while.

Of course, it could be worth panicking that today is the beginning of Daylight Saving Time and a lot of us lost an hour of sleep. That one doesn't so much make me panic as makes me annoyed. And sleepy.

On this day in 1998, the episode "I Don't" aired. Cousin Erin got married to one of the most punchable people ever, but on the bright side we got to meet Aunt Amy.

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 11): "Freya sketched the view from the balcony near her room shortly after breakfast. 'What secrets are hiding?' she asked herself."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenge, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Helen Morgendorffer entered her kitchen to see an unusual sight. 'Quinn? Why is Jamie getting his hair cut in our kitchen?'"


• Star Trek: Voyager: A Complication of Kes's, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Kes awoke. She saw herself, but this time she had longer hair. 'What happened?' she asked."

Turning Over a New Leaf

I don't think that the Morgendorffer houseplant is really enjoying Plant Power Day, partly because it just lost one of its leaves and partly because I can't imagine that any living plants last very long in a family as neglectful as this one. Perhaps the Tommy Sherman Memorial Crutch will have better luck.

I hope that Marianne is faring better, because it's Employee Appreciation Day and Helen's assistant doesn't get nearly enough appreciation. I suspect that, if she were to quit, Helen would be completely lost and unable to replace her.

Maybe she could meet up with Cashman's worker Theresa to share horror stories for National Salesperson Day. I think Theresa would win, though, because Marianne only has one overly demanding person to please while Theresa has to deal with the entire Fashion Club.

Shouldn't Have Had So Much Space Cola!

I see that even aliens are celebrating National Potty Dance Day, and with that many legs I'm sure it will be a very interesting performance. If you are struggling to find a bathroom in time, just remember that you can always pee behind those trees. Take care to watch out for pervert squirrels, though.

Daria should take the opportunity on Multiple Personality Day to check in with Eunice and see how things are going. She might still be sad, or she's just wondering what happened to Daria's contact lenses.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Fat Like Me" first aired. Never mind the somewhat unrealistic "thinly challenged" main plot; I would love to see more of Stacy imitating Tiffany and completely losing her temper. Solid gold comedy right there.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "Daria Morgendorffer was daydreaming. She was looking out the window across the quad, vaguely aware of her classmates crossing the grassy expanse to the dining hall."


• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "'Stacy?' the Doctor asked. 'Yes,' Quinn answered. 'She reacted to the flicker in an unusual way.'"


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 3): "'Now, Daria,' Jake said as Daria packed a duffle bag. 'You know New York isn’t like Lawndale, right?'"


• It's the Spirit that Kills You, by SharksAndRec (part 2): "To say Daria had a favorite class would mean some degree of caring about school at all, something the teen just didn't have the energy for...but if she had to pick the one she tolerated the most, it would have to be DiMartino's English class."


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (part 2): "Daria's eyes shot open after her alarm rang noisily, leading to her smacking the clock."


• Like a Chicken Running Around With It's Head Cut Off, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was just like any other day for Tom Sloane, giving his girlfriend Daria a visit, thinking he could and should invite himself in for a evening of 'Sick, Sad World,' assuming she would be comfortable with it. He knocked on the door and waited."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by ladyevil (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up feeling utterly dejected. With a groan, she put on her robe, went to her boudoir, and got a bottle of pills."


• Who Needs a Boyfriend When You Got Her?, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Tom thought he understood Jane Lane."


• Writing Lines (Daria Ravenclaw: Loose Snippets), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "'And that is all for today,' said Professor Flitwick said as the half-hour rolled around. 'Please make sure that you have read through chapter 16 of your textbooks and don’t forget to practice what we’ve learned today!'"

This Image Makes My Ears Hurt

Grandma Lane is making absolutely sure that Jane can't avoid celebrating World Hearing Day, although if she keeps yelling Jane's ability to hear will be in serious danger. This might be a good day for Daria to visit Mrs. Blaine, because not being able to hear doesn't mean you don't enjoy visitors.

In fact, I think anyone who works or volunteers at the Better Days Retirement Home should get some thanks because it's Caregiver Appreciation Day! People willing to help others deserve every bit of gratitude, and they don't get enough as far as I'm concerned.

Last but not least, today we celebrate the anniversaries of the episodes "Esteemsters" in 1997, "The Old and the Beautiful" in 1999, and "Antisocial Climbers" in 2000. The first introduced the entire series, the second introduced us to Mrs. Blaine, and the third, well...introduced us to Mr. O'Neill's undergarments.

Fandom News!

• darianefan05 shares her thoughts on the recent meeting in the White House regarding Ukraine.

Please, PLEASE Go Back to Frowning!

Daria is serving up both cookies and terror on Share a Smile Day, and I think we're all relieved to know that she only smiles if she has a reason. Even if that reason is to scare any onlookers half to death.

I'll bet Amy is smiling, especially if she's making Helen insanely jealous with postcards on Plan a Solo Vacation Day. Of course, I'm sure Amy would be perfectly fine dropping the "solo" part if Ralph Fiennes offers to join her.

If a vacation is out of the question for you, then you could just take a short and sweet break for Peanut Butter Lovers' Day! Trent might let peanut brittle hijack his brain, or Daria might sit on another ancient sandwich.

Fanfic Update!

• It's the Spirit that Kills You, by SharksAndRec (part 1): "Ghostly attacks on the regular were still not enough to stomp out the march of students through the hallowed and haunted halls of Casper High, and one pair of faux-leather boots were stomping out a particularly determined rhythm."


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "She kissed him. She, Daria Morgendorffer, had her lips planted onto that damn moron."