How About Meditating on Being Less Shallow?

The Fashion Club is enjoying World Peace Meditation Day, but I don't think they have much chance of succeeding. They can't even achieve peace among themselves, let alone the world. Still, for once they're engaging in a hobby that doesn't involve maxing out Jake's credit card, so for that alone we should encourage them.

If they do decide to go shopping today, it will be a relief to Lawndale's most well-known goth that they will not be visiting PayDay. Perhaps we could consider it a National Andrea Day gift!

As we prepare to say goodbye (and possibly good riddance) to 2024, we should try to follow Daria's advice from MTV New Year's Eve 2002: "Well, I think everyone should resolve to be nicer to their neighbors, except for those of us who live next door to relatives. Eat less and exercise more, unless that doesn't appeal to you, in which case you should eat more and exercise less. Be kind to animals, because you never know when they're going to take over. And finally, let's try to make this the best year ever, or at least the least suckiest."

Fanfic Update!

• Back to School, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin trudged through the parking lot toward the school the next morning, trying to keep his mind from wandering back to his football team days. It was like trying to shoo away a swarm of flies with nothing but a toothpick; every time he shoved one thought away, several more crowded in."


• Idiots in Lawndale, by JabeShepherd (COMPLETE!): "Highland High School was already teetering on the edge of collapse, a dilapidated mess of cracked walls, leaky pipes, and floors that seemed to groan under the weight of its own despair."


• Inferior Designers, by SugarfiendSweetieguts (COMPLETE!): "It was an unremarkable weekend morning in the burbs. Jane had some math homework that she could be doing, but Art had sounded its clarion call."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "Freya opened her eyes as she stepped out of the Coffee House cafeteria and looked across the Plaza at the Library."


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "Verity had held sessions with various clients over the phone (although one had taken the trouble to drive to and from Lawndale) as she waited for Osborn to be ready for another session."

Hello, Cello!

Don't disturb Brittany right now, because she's concentrating extra hard for International Cello Day. The drama of the moment is lessened somewhat when you find out that she's playing the Lawndale High School song, but musical skill is musical skill regardless.

Someone tell Jake that just because it's Pepper Pot Day doesn't mean he should use the entire pot in his cooking. Less is more, even if Quinn disagrees.

Whaaaaat Tiiiiime Iiiiiis Iiiiiit?

Tiffany is acting even more wooden and artificial than usual because today is the anniversary of the Howdy Doody show, which was released on this day in 1947. She's a perfect match for her fellow marionette, because neither of them have an actual thought in their heads and are happy to let someone else control them.

Jane, meanwhile, might decide to ask Trent to help her celebrate Visit the Zoo Day by taking another ride together. On second thought, seeing the tiger might bring back some unpleasant memories, so she'd probably be better off staying home.

If Helen feels like baking again, it's National Fruitcake Day and fruitcake probably isn't too different from her oatmeal pumpkin seed loaf. I'd rather she make it than Jake, because I'm sure he'd find a way to saturate the thing with pepper.

Fanfic Update!

• Back to School, by Kristen Bealer (parts 1 and 2): "Kevin approached the front doors of Lawndale High School with more than a little apprehension. It had been over ten years since he’d last stepped inside the building, and while the school hadn’t appeared to change, he knew he had. A lot." (Part 2)


• A Lane's Return to Lawndale (Random Pairing Challenge 2020), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Half an hour later, Summer left the café. She wasn’t sure what to think about Timothy causing her heart to flutter."


• Merry Christmas, Melody, by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was Christmas! The Morgendorffer family gathered Christmas morning to 'claim the loot' as Daria liked to put it."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was a dim grey morning in New York City. Tom Sloane, CEO of GoodHealthPlus, ambled toward the Lincoln Center, getting ready to announce a 10.5 percent increase in profit from the last quarter achieved by a) setting up an AI tool to not only deny claims faster, but fire hundreds of claim managers, and b) setting up a new hotline for customers which trapped them in a fiendish hell of waiting for one of the few live operators left."

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!

Mrs. Bennett is indulging in a little extra holiday cheer in honor of Christmas, or maybe she and Herbert are into some unusual fantasies. Not for me to judge, either way. Remember to share your sugar-coated cookies with X, and maybe give him a little cottage all made out of gingerbread if you have one.

If you're in the mood for some Christmas fan-fiction, you can find a whole lot of them amongst the holiday-themed stories on Outpost Daria Reborn.

To make today extra festive, Hanukkah begins tonight at sunset. May all those in fandom who celebrate it have a wonderful Festival of Lights!

A Fish For the Rest of Us!

Mack looks pretty proud of his catch, but he's got a long way to go before he beats the awesome size of the first live coelacanth, which was caught on this day in 1938. Now that is a big fish story!

It's a little cold right now for anything but ice fishing, but perhaps we could celebrate Festivus instead! If you don't have any grievances to air then I envy you, but I also recommend you celebrate by reading Bettie and Jack at Festivus by Gene.

Fanfic Update!

• Sloane Trauma: The Next Generation (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Mason, what is wrong with you?' Lillyanne asked as she entered the dining room of Sloane Manor."


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "The Enigma arrived at the Strawberry and started using the telescopes. Soon, she saw something. She recognised it straight away."

Don't Go Into the Light!

It would seem that Lawndale is having a very special National Flashlight Day, and the neighbors are sure to be alarmed. Even if they don't assume aliens are invading, they'll be at least a little curious about why the shrubbery is glowing.

It's possible that someone is taking a literal approach to Look on the Bright Side Day, and given the typical brainpower of Lawndale residents it wouldn't surprise me. I hope you can find a bright side today, even if things are a little rough right now.

The good news for me is that it's Short Girl Appreciation Day, and at five feet two inches I definitely qualify for some appreciation! Daria, being the same height, should also get her share of attention even though I'm sure she'd prefer to be left alone.

It's Even Pre-Decorated For Your Convenience!

Daria's about to have the fastest and easiest Look for an Evergreen Day ever, because all she has to do is turn around. Unfortunately, there is pretty much zero chance that the tree is a real evergreen, because it's the same Christmas tree that we see in the Morgendorffers' garage in a later episode. Good effort, though!

While we're getting into the Christmas spirit, let's indulge a sweet tooth with National Hard Candy Day! If you don't have any, just attend a Lawndale High School parade and wait for the football team to start throwing treats at the crowd. Hopefully they'll take out one or both of Sandi's brothers again.

For those who'd rather watch a disaster than participate in it, may I recommend watching the movie Titanic on the anniversary of its release on this day in 1997? Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill might try to re-create the famous "I'm flying" scene but with any luck someone will push them both into the water.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 15): "The stress had been getting to her throughout the summer: her oldest daughter setting off to a new boarding school, her youngest daughter preparing for another year at the Berkshire Institute, and Quinn trying to cope with mourning the loss of her father and changing the direction of her life from social butterfly to a hard-working student preparing to get into medical school."


• The Lawndale Businesswomen's Association, by Buffcoat (COMPLETE!): "The room is filled with successful businesswomen, all chatting and networking. Linda Griffin, the president, stands at the podium."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Alexia saw that Freya was a little different and it wasn't just her pink hair and the energy she exuded. It was obvious that her focus wandered."

Ready for Takeoff!

Quinn is suited up and ready to take flight on Pan American Aviation Day, and she'd better hurry up before the Fashion Club sees what she's wearing. Stacy would be horrified that those pants make her look like she has saddlebags. Or is it carpetbags?

For those who'd rather keep their feet on the ground, there's also the Festival of Winter Walks. Daria and Jane will pass on this one, because while their last trek through the snow unearthed some real insights into each other's souls like their M&M color preferences, it really isn't an experience they'd care to repeat.

I imagine it goes without saying that Helen will be celebrating National Device Appreciation Day, mostly by spending the entire day on her cell phone. I can't imagine what her life would be like without devices, and I imagine the advent of smartphones has only made her work life even more intense.

Fandom News!

• Azul has posted a GlitterBerries copy for posterity.

Hey, Look! It's the Latest Florida Man!

Kevin's looking especially suave as Don Johnson, who was born on this day in 1949. I think Miami Vice was about the only crime-solving show that didn't get parodied in "Murder, She Snored," but Kevin would have had a hard time playing both a detective and a dead body, so it's probably just as well.

At least he wouldn't have had to portray a Southern belle, because today is also the anniversary of the premiere of the movie Gone with the Wind on this day in 1939. I can't really picture Jane telling him that he grows lovelier by the day. Dumber, perhaps, but not lovelier.

In non-entertainment news, today is National Cupcake Day and I hope everyone can have a sweet treat today to celebrate. Kevin, when he's done pretending to be a Miami cop, can remind Brittany that she's still a great Hostess Cupcake.

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Daria was impressed. Brittany had deduced as much as she had, although her word choices were not as eloquent as hers."

Giddy-Up!

Helen and Jake have chosen what might be the strangest method of celebrating National Horse Day that I've ever seen, but to each his own I suppose. I suspect Daria will be staying far away from any real horses, thanks to her unpleasant experience at Camp Grizzly.

She would probably rather stay home with a good book, and perhaps a nice warm beverage in honor of National Cocoa Day. Quinn can even tell her about that family of teenagers and their harrowing experience with a hurricane where cocoa made them feel better and Daria's kicking her out of the room already.

If cocoa isn't your thing, you could eat a cold sweet treat instead because it's Ice Cream Day! Mack the ice cream man will probably be along shortly with his little hat and bell that goes ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. A-ling.

Fandom News!

• Suggest female Daria characters for a football team in roentgen's new thread, Daria - Beyond the basic nine.


• BloodyWilliam introduces an upcoming art project: Daria character tarot: Major Arcana.

Dancing Cheek to Mane

I see Daria is sharing a dance with the Lawndale Lions mascot for Tango Day, and I'm a little curious: when a teenager holding toilet paper dances with a giant lion, who leads? Anyway, this will probably be the shortest tango ever danced, because if Mr. O'Neill doesn't suffocate first, then Daria's boots will take care of the situation.

I'm sure Mr. O'Neill would rather endure the humiliation and restricted airflow of a lion costume than go on another Lawndale's Wilderness Adventure Club trip, even if it's International Mountain Day. If nothing else, at least he gets to keep his underwear on in the costume...or at least I hope he does.

Finally, I hope Helen withdraws that planned lawsuit against UNICEF, because today is the organization's birthday. It was created on this day in 1946 and has earned countless pennies to help children around the world since.

Fanfic Update!

• Bigger and Brighter and Wider Than Snow, by elle_stone (part 27): "Her parents used to live on a commune in the late 60s. Then the infighting got bad and the art started to suffer, so they dropped out, went up to Canada for a while–knowing them, without papers."


• How to Train Your Dragon: Berk in Time, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "The Riders landed on the top deck. They quickly noticed that it wasn’t made of wood, rather it seemed to be composed of some metal or other."


• Twas the Fight Before Christmas, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Snow is falling over Lawndale Mall. Combined with the Christmas decorations, this makes it visually obvious that it's December." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "(Daria, Quinn, Jane, and Stacy are stowaways on a luxury boat cruise. The problem is that the cruise is over, and without a passport to disembark they are in serious trouble.)"

Lost and Fraud?

Ms. Li is having a rough time because she just found out that it's International Anti-Corruption Day and that's going to put a real hitch in her usual pro-corruption plans. Still, I don't suppose she's actually going to do anything drastic like stop embezzling funds. Someone has to feed those bomb-sniffing dogs!

Has anyone seen Tad Gupty? It's Lost and Found Day and I'm hoping that he falls into the latter category right now. If not, just send Daria after him and remind her to look for windmills.

If she ends up at Art in the Park she should also look for some of those crying clowns because it's Weary Willie Day and he was the original sad clown. Fortunately, he was sad but not dead, so he could still clown and we'll still be freakin' friends.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the United Healthcare CEO murder.


• Talk about an article about disabled veterans from The Economist.

She's Looking Very...SHARP!

Brittany has traded in her pom poms for shears in order to celebrate the anniversary of the movie Edward Scissorhands, which was released on this day in 1990. I think she's even more unhappy about the loss of her cheerleader uniform, though, because black is hardly a cheerful color. Still, if anyone can keep her bouncity-bounce under these circumstances, she can.

I hope she doesn't try to send any long distance messages for Letter Writing Day, though. Not only will it be nearly impossible for her to hold a pencil now, but I'm sure her spelling and grammar are just awful.

There's also no way she's going to be able to celebrate International Civil Aviation Day by flying anywhere, because can you imagine trying to pass through a metal detector like that? Lucky for Jake and Daria on their next flight; it will be free of any squeaky voices...except for Jake's when they hit turbulence.

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Welcome to Introduction to Nordic History of Aurora, where you'll learn that the period is much more complex than just "Vikings take over most of Aurora and then the Unification happens." I'm Professor Erik Brynjarsson.'"


• OverhydraTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Good morning, Ted.' Ted looked up from his locker to see Jodie standing next to him, looking a little wary."


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Ah!' Daria called out as she reached the ground a little quickly. 'Sorry,' the Enigma said. 'I’m still getting used to this.'"

Like, Hi-YAH!

Sandi is preparing her best martial arts moves in honor of International Ninja Day, but she's going to be disappointed when she finds out that the point of being a ninja is to remain unseen. For someone who loves to be the center of attention, this would probably be absolute torture.

Then again, with her newfound stealth she could find all sorts of new and creative ways to sabotage Quinn. For example, since it's also National Blue Jeans Day she could sneak electrical tape into the Morgendorffers' laundry and ruin Quinn's new new new jeans.

I would have hoped that she'd have chosen instead to use her abilities to do good deeds, especially because it's International Volunteer Day. On second thought, Sandi's attempts to help others don't go very well, as that plaque on the girl's restroom mirror can attest to.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the martial law declaration in South Korea and its aftermath.

It's Not National Roof ON Your Head Day!

Daria is checking the library to make sure she's still going to be able to celebrate National Roof over Your Head Day, which is wise considering Ms. Li's financial priorities when it comes to the school. It might be better to just get out of there and celebrate at home where the roof is more likely to stay put.

On the way she might consider doing a good deed or donating to a worthy cause because it's also National Day of Giving. The Fashion Club will be happy to chip in a belly chain and a pair of go-go boots but no one will be happy to receive them.

Perhaps Jake will take the opportunity to give Helen another candle for Candle Day! Hopefully this one will look like something other than a creepy misshapen hunk of wax.

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Freya emerged from her room, ready for the day. She took out the schedule."


• Spider Quinn 13 Aftermath and Investigations, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Daria and Jane arrived at the Historia. 'So, what did you find?' Jane asked as they entered."

Maybe Try Painting With Your Other Hand For Awhile?

Jane had better suck it up and push past the pain in her arm because it's Day Without Art Day and I'm sure she doesn't want to celebrate. After all, any artist can tell you that the best art comes out of suffering.

Daria should probably offer her some encouraging words since it's National Women Support Women Day, but I don't think she actually knows any encouraging words. At the very least she could offer her some raw cookie dough and make a joke to take her mind off the pain.