"Spin, damn you, spin!"

Today is Clean out Your Computer Day, so start clearing out those virtual dust bunnies! Jake tried using soap and water to clean his, so stay out of his way for a while if you don't want to get ranted at.

Fandom News!

• Don't forget that the next Virtual Dariacon is less than three weeks away!


• Fans of A Clockwork Orange, talk about the book and/or the movie in a new thread!


• Staticblast needs help finding the name of a game.


• Erin M. posted his first online video: An Open Letter to Walmart.


• WTF is up with Grammy fashions this year? Post opinions and pictures in the thread.


• Check out what the Nostalgia Chick has to say about Trent!


• LadieT posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: A Different Quinn?

Big, fat, smug, damn, stupid, crappy piece of crappy crap!

On this day, 25 years ago, Microsoft Windows 1.0 launched. Whether the world is better or worse because of it is for the PC vs. Mac fanatics to argue about. And I'm sure they will until the end of time, if not longer.

Jake, on the other hand, just wants that damn hourglass to spin, dammit!

Fanfic Update:

• 20 Minutes from Now..., by Erin M.: "Rail...hit the rail...garage...office building...files...Orwell files...Is this what they want? Maybe they'll tell me."


• Daria/Dorian 11: So This Is Bonding, by LadieT (part 1): "After school, Dorian and Jane arrived at his house to find both of his parents already home. Walking inside, Dorian and Jane saw Jake reading a book written by the guy who invented the Pizza Forest chain; Terry Barry Barlowe, while Helen was on the phone with her law firm. Waving to his parents as they walked upstairs, Dorian and Jane were stopped when Helen motioned for them to join them."


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 31): "'Great,' she snarled, then. 'Just freaking great. So, my enemies want me to live forever, and my lovely new "friends" want me to die.' So that's what the Machine had been tiptoeing around, in its message to her!"


• God Save The Esteem Ep12: Misery, Clicked, by Charles RB (part 1): "On the school lawn, after Tom and Jane had looked at her expectantly for a full minute, Daria finally asked: 'What's the big deal about this football guy, anyway?' 'I knew you’d break,' said Tom."


• Helping/Hoping hand (Whatever happened to Tommy Sherman), by Chris Tucker: "It was her first full day home from the hospital."


• In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs: "That evening found the beginning of the Morgendorffer siblings' grounding. Much to both their surprise, Helen had come home 'early' from work to supervise their punishment. What’s more, Helen had declared a ‘family game night’ to keep the children busy. Instead of the traditional games of Monopoly, however, which Daria almost always won anyway, Helen had borrowed another game from her secretary. That hadn’t worked out quite as Helen hoped."


• It's Eureka, Daria: Spiral Dynamics, by RLobinske (part 4): "Joining up with Daria at lunch, Jane held up a small Mystik Spiral poster and said, 'What do you think?' 'It has a tune and you can dance to it?'"


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 3, by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "They turned the corner and were stopped by two security guards. One of them was the one from the night before. The other was bigger -- well over six feet tall, pushing 300 pounds, and his chest seemed to be a yard wide. 'Okay, Daria, you get the big one and I'll get the little one.'"


• Legends Of The Metal, by TheExcellentS (parts 4 and 5): "Tom drove for a few more minutes, until he saw a large tusk formation. This served as the gates to the Bladehenge settlement. Out the front of the gate, stood a young woman. Her medium length black hair almost covered one eye, while her ensemble of black shorts, shirt, tights and boots and red sleeveless jacket made her look every bit of a fighter. Not to mention the piercings, tattoos, spiky bracelets and extremely large blade she was carrying." (Part 5.1) (Part 5.2)


• Lurking in His Smile (Iron Chef: No Bromwell For Tom), by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): "'Dear Mr. Sloane' the note had read. 'We thank you for your interest in Bromwell University. Due to a record number of qualified applicants, you have been placed on the waiting list.' Was the meat of the message. But Tom knew better. 'Waiting List' was just the fancy term of saying 'You'll maybe get in as a junior.'"


• Means Of Escape, by breitasparrow: "'You're... what?' Jane asked. To say she was stunned after hearing the news would be an understatement. The unthinkable had happened: Tom decided to leave the country. 'When?' Aside from questions, she was at a loss for words."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 35): "A soft sigh fluttered out of Daria's lips. 'It's something that's been building up for a while, ever since I came to this town. I haven't told anyone this, but this is the first time in my entire life that I'm surrounded by smart people and a lot of the time, I don't think I measure up.'"


• [series name redacted], Book 1, by vlademir1 (part 3): "None of the security guards at all ten major exits nor in the parking lot, Principal Timothy O'Neill and the police had closely questioned every one of them, had seen the girl leave the school. She had simply vanished like she had never even been there, and no one had found a single trace to determine what may have happened to her in the intervening two weeks. Even their parents had begun giving up hope as she'd been missing so long."


• Unnamed story (Whatever happened to Tommy Sherman), by VPrad: "'I never expected that guy to punch me, I never expected to spend almost a month in a coma, I never expected my sister to help me the way she did, I never expected people to genuinely care about me, I never expected to have more than one friend, I never expected to be happy. Surprises will come along the way, some of them good, some of them bad. Some of them will change your perception of the world, so don’t close yourself from accepting other points of view.'"


• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser: "As she walked towards the terminal, Daria could actually see Dream Waveform generation in operation as multiple realities exfoliated from her body, then asymmetrically propagated into alternate universes at multiples of the speed of light in a dream."


• Worldburner: When It Rains, by RLobinske (part 2): "A few minutes later, a handsome man entered the laboratory. Slowly and carefully, he inspected the facility while more troops entered and took up guard positions. Rolling the Vengeance Ring on his finger, Ian Llywd said, 'So the chase continues. Excellent.'"


• Y-Me?, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 37 and 38): "To Quinn’s surprise, everyone, including Mitch, decided to attend. He seemed a little nervous around all these people, unsure what to expect. No concerts either? What did he do for fun. All that plant stuff couldn’t have been fun all the time: Quinn’s mother said she might have taken pleasure from her work, but Quinn knew she did other things for fun." (Part 38)

Now, That's a Lot of Spam!

Here we see Quinn giving her laptop a puzzled look. That is because today is the third anniversary of the biggest sending of infected e-mail in history, thanks to the Storm botnet, a network of remotely controlled zombie computers created by the Storm Worm. About 57 million e-mails went flying that day. The huge size of the Storm botnet was surpassed (probably) by the following year's Kraken botnet. How wonderful can the Internet be?

We also wish writer Ray Bradbury a happy 90th birthday. He wrote the first SF book to be carried aboard a manned space station (The Martian Chronicles, aboard Skylab).

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (Part 2): Coach Smith approached Dorian. "Ms. Li had a point. We need one more player and I wouldn't have to worry about you academically. I will try my best not to put you in any of the games unless it's absolutely necessary. Today during gym we'll try to figure out what position would suit you best." "Okay... Can I quit once Kevin is back on the team?" "Yes, unless you decide to stay on." Coach Smith walked away. Jane gave Dorian a sympathetic look. Then an evil grin came over her face. "I guess that means I'm dating a jock. So can I drive you crazy like you did me when I was on the track team?"
• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “Hey, Daria.” Henry had called Daria on a Tuesday, and Daria wasn’t sure whether or not she was grateful to hear from him. If he came to down, he could be seen. Seen by Mom or someone else. And she’d insist on meeting him. Mountains of bad ideas coursed through her head as to what could happen. Henry was polite around Miranda and Mark, but they didn’t ask probing questions, they just wanted to see he exists, for the most part. Mom would be different. Mom wanted to know everything. Hell, she went so in-depth she might try for blood samples.
• friends (more than) series: tutor, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "There she is!" the older woman fairly squealed. "My little girl, all ready to get those last few grades up so she can graduate next year!" Ted suppressed a frown. He had seen Tiffany's grades from her previous attempt to graduate, and "last few" was a serious understatement. Out loud he said, "Thank you, Mrs. Blum-Deckler. Do you mind if we use the kitchen for our lessons?" She released Tiffany and pointed down the hallway. "Oh, of course not! It's that way, second door on your left." (NEW! FF.net)
  
• God Save the Esteem 2: Fight for Your Invite to Party, by Charles RB (Part 3): From across the way, there was a loud commotion. Daria sighed as the source of the disturbance become clear: the Maleficent Eleven had turned up, scowling and aggressively wearing dark colors and some chugging beer. “Wonder how they got past Brittany at the door?” asked Jane. “It’s Brittany. They showed her something shiny.” “You know ‘Killer’ Quinn and her posse?” asked Tom. “I’m related to her. I remember when she was Kick-Butt Quinn at age 6. She had the most adorable tiny Mohawk.” Pat Seven was staring at the loud gang with bemusement. “They’re a rather whimsical lot, aren’t they?”
• In Any Other World, by Charles RB (Parts 2 to 4): “So... like, what do you like to do after school?” “Oh, nothing special. Go to the movies... or, like, a theme park... or out for a really fancy meal now and then... or maybe go to a concert, if, like, I know somebody's got good seats and is renting a limo and stuff.” She had the patter down and she knew she had the looks: every boy would be after her. Every girl would want to be her. Things would be great. Except... “So, you've got any brothers or sisters?” (Part 3) (Part 4)
• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (Part 1): Helen called up from the kitchen. "Jane, Quinn... time to get up. It's the first day of school. You don't want to be late." Helen and Jake laughed as they heard a flurry of activity from the rooms above. Quinn came bounding downstairs first, eager to show off her new pink sneakers and t-shirt. Jane arrived a few minutes later wearing a red shirt and black shorts. In one hand was her backpack, the other her favorite book, Black Beauty. After finishing breakfast, Jane and Quinn hugged their mom before following their dad out the door. (preview)
• Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (continued): Harrison opined that the killer, looking to stash the body, figured my car was an abandoned junker. If it was towed, so much the better. It would be in the impound lot for a few days. I don't know what angered me more. That I was without wheels for the foreseeable future, or that the killer thought my Mustang was an abandoned piece of junk. As I was leaving the station, the desk sergeant called me over. He handed me a note from the Morgendorffer girl's mother. Helen Morgendorffer would like to speak to me at my earliest convenience. Swell.
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Follow me." The old man led Jane to the crossroad of both paths. He turned her away from the crater and the mountain. Another opening began to form in the road. Stretching his arm out towards it, he stared at Jane. "All you have to do is what you love doing... run. Just like before, the descent takes less than a second." Nodding her head in understanding, Jane extended her hand. "I guess I should be saying thank you or thanking whoever brought you to me. I know you said you only come once and that is only when you are called. So I guess this is goodbye." The old man shook his head.
• NEW! Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Parts 6a and 6b): "I don't know what's the matter with you lately. You act like you're not excited to see your sister at all. Sisterhood is a very important bond, Quinn, and I want you to try to form one with Daria the moment we arrive. This is not a suggestion." "When's the last time you talked to Aunt Rita?" "Rita! Don't get me started on her. All the times she gloats and rubs in my face that mother..." Quinn looks out the window and ignores her mother's droning. (Part 6b)
  
• Masochist's Memories, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): [A new view of The Daria Diaries' trip down memory lane.]
• NEWEST! MST version of OverlordMikey's "A Get Well Gift" and TAG's "Pause in the Air," by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Instead of the usual movie milieu, we're going to be delving once again into the wonderful world of Daria fan fiction, straight from the deepest, darkest depths of the internet and beamed directly into your unsuspecting peepers through advanced projected-light-on-white-screen technology...."
• NEWEST! Pulp Fiction: Future History, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Stand by! Target acquisition window opens in 10 seconds from MARK!" "Target acquired. Target in range. Activate intrinsic velocity neutralizer. Target seized and stabilized." "We're on the clock, boys and girls! Here we go..." "Can Opener - GO!" "Container breached. Inner container open!" "Dog Catcher - GO!" "Subject retrieved!" "Puppet Master - GO!" "Simulator installed." "Can Opener - GO!"
  
• Shower, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria looked up as Jane drifted through the door of Daria's bedroom, towel around her neck and dreamy smile on her lips. Without a word, Jane dropped to her knees on the carpet and climbed into her sleeping bag. "M'night..." she sighed. Daria smirked. "Good shower?" There was only a snore for reply. Rolling her eyes, Daria went back to her book. Then...
  
• Unnamed story (John Lane 47: Another Look in the Mirror), by Malakite (COMPLETE!): "Authorities are saying tonight that they believe they have finally found the killer in the infamous Inna Gadda Da Vidda slayings some 25 years ago. Police say this boy is the so-called Hippie Ripper, who in 1969 killed 16 hippies who were living in a van. Asked how a 15-year-old boy could have committed a crime that happened more than two decades ago, police spokesmen explained, quote, 'He's very clever.' "
• Unnamed story (Kolchak: The Lawndale File), by McKeon (COMPLETE!): "Damn it, Helen! I lost another client!" Jake exclaimed.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Ouch Time), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): The underground blockhouse shook as the earth trembled. "T-130. 15 megaton yield. 20-25 klicks out, just about true north." "They're zeroing in on us." "What do mean 'us' white girl? They're after you, Morgendorffer!"
• NEWEST! What could have happened if Legacy!Daria had gotten along with Trent? by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "You've got to be out of your mind. I'm not doing it. No way, no how." Tom's face is mutinous where he sits on the couch next to his friend. Trent looks between the both of them rapidly from where he lays on the floor as his face continues to blush. Daria's face is pleading. "Come on Tom, it'd be so hot. Just this once and I'll never ask again. Consider it an early birthday present."
• NEWEST! Worldhopper Worldburner, by Erin M. (preview): "Tell me something I don't know, Dr. Science!"
  

Yuk

PPMB and SFMB both seem to be down at the moment. Rats. Post notes at this website in the meanwhile.


L8R: Okay, they're back up.

Oops

Hey, there. Lost my Internet connection for a while, but am back online again. Moar Daria stuff later. Ciao.

Computers R Evil

My 'pooter lost its Internet connection yesterday, back again, sorry about the delay. This blog has previously noted that today is an important day in the Computer Age, but computers still suck when they won't work properly.

Anyway, Happy Midsummer to one and all, hope yours is a good one.

The Beavis and Butt-head episode "Babes 'R' Us" first aired on MTV 17 years ago today. It briefly featured Daria Morgendorffer snarking at B&B for being stupid, which was the case in 95% of all of Daria's appearances in that series. The scene in question later appeared as an "Easter egg" on the Is It Fall Yet? DVD.

A United Nations holiday occurs today that was probably established just for Jodie Landon. Click the link and see if you agree.

Which fanfic was conceived of ten years ago today? The answer is a tricky one.

Updates to the Midwest Dariacon 2010 thread have been posted. Please read if you plan to attend.

NEW! Erin M. discovered an avatar-maker at the website for the upcoming movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, so here are Daria and Jane—Pilgrimfied!

NEW! Thanks to Pittsburghmuggle, we have a DariaWiki page with all the lyrics to the songs in the third-season episode, Daria! Thank you!

EVEN NEWER! Anyone out there collect Daria memorabilia from years gone by? If so, get in touch with other collectors in this PPMB thread (and meet a Great Name of Old, too)!

AND EVEN MORE NEWER! Charles RB has created a new Iron Chef: Judith Strikes Highland!

FF.net

• NEWER! The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 15 to 18): "About Daria—" Amy said. "That's when the yelling starts," Jane said. "Daria asked us not to yell." "I haven't yelled yet," Amy said. "Neither have I. If something you do actually gets me to raise my voice, run." Jane didn't get angry enough to scream all that often. When she did, something was very wrong. Dogs and small children fled. They were the smart ones. (Part 18 here)
  
• NEWER! Wishful Thinking, by a440 (COMPLETE!): "Don't you get it?" said Jane. "There's a legend saying that anyone that discovers that eye is granted four wishes between now and midnight." "Jane," said Daria, sounding a bit testy, "did you and Trent invent such a half-baked story like that? That is the stupidest story I've heard in years." "I ain't joking," said the black-haired Lane gal. "Try to make a wish for a test run and we'll see if the legend was right." "Anything to get you and your stinking yenta off my back," grumbled the outcast. "So, let's see, what should I wish for? Would be tough... I wish I knew what to wish for." For a moment, there was a white flash of light, and then Daria blurted out, "I know what to wish for!"
  

Outpost Daria

• A Stranger in Lawndale, by Belle Book (Part 6): Stacy thought back over the three weeks since Derek had confessed to her that he was a kitsune. For the first two or three days, she couldn't help feeling a little awkward around him. After all, she'd never gone out with an animal that could shapeshift into a human before.

PPMB

• And Another Thing, by Midnightstorm (COMPLETE!): The country club always seemed an ideal place for young love to happen. Young love, the same thing that made me who I am today. The same thing that somehow gets you into all sorts of problems. The same thing I used to not believe in. Dad was having a business meeting there for the investment firm he works at. I just tagged along out of sheer boredom. It was either that or having to stand spending a whole day with Elsie and Mom at the art museum. You guess which one I picked. Both of us never planned it out, we just found each other there. It was just one of those times.
• Bathing with Archimedes, by RLobinske (Part 5): Returning to the table with the girls' sodas, Vincent said, "Daria, what's with the eyes?" "What do you mean?" she said. "Whoa," Zoe said. "Your eyes are glowing." "It's really creepy looking," Quinn said, looking worried.
  
• Daria and Jane and the Bag O' Noodles, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "When we get to Daytona, and you have a few drinks in you..." "Yes?" "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
• NEW! Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): "When my dad comes home, I'm going to talk to him about going to Buxton Ridge." Dorian stared at the wall, afraid to make eye contact with Jane. Jane felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. "Don't." "Why not? People are going to be trashing me, not realizing they are talking to me. They'll be relieved that 'the misery chick' is finally out of Lawndale. Not to mention Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neil... she's probably going to skin me alive while he's going to want to get all touchy-feely. I don't want to have to deal with that, Jane. What am I going to do?"
  
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 6 and 7): “You don’t like me very much, do you?” “This is the first time we’ve ever spoken to each other. I’ve learned my lesson about judging people before I meet them. I don’t know you, but Finn’s said an awful lot of nice things about you.” “So, what’s the problem?” “No problem. It’s just... I remember how much I turned into a bitch whenever you came into the picture." (Part 7 here)
  
• Gorillas, I Swear, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): As a gift to myself, I worked on a new illusion. I thought about adding the traditional trick of sawing a lady in half, but then I'd have to find another lovely to be Stacy's legs, and how could I divide my attention between two succulent young women? What was my new trick? Well, that'll be my secret, for now. With the great word of mouth from my appearances at parties, and the posters of me and Stacy from our performance at the school, the State nearly sold out. Lots of fine, fine money for me, minus 10% for Ms. Li, of course. Stacy, in the new dress and with her hair up, looked as amazing as I imagined she would. At three o'clock, the show began.
• NEW! Grove Hell on Earth, by Charles RB (Parts 3 and 4): Daria went to class as always, but noticed too late that she wasn’t taking the same level of notes as before. In math class, she noticed she wasn’t taking notes at all. She’d been writing random words and phrases. Despite herself, she smiled to see, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” was down there; something of her was still active, they hadn’t burnt it all out. Graham was looking at her. He’d seen the notes. She wrote “Hi Graham!” and a smiley face down, causing him to physically recoil and fall off his seat. The whole class turned to look. (Part 4 here) (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 38): "God, GOD NO, Terry. I am not accompanying Scarey Claire-y! The only mode of conveyance suitable to Claire Davidson is one used to sweep floors! This ride is not for me, oh no, no sir!" "Then why can't Claire Davidson get her own broom ride? Why must she bother you?" "She's not bothering me. I'm doing this as a favor for Kiki Morgendorffer." "Pat, if Kiki Morgendorffer jumped into a pile of used syringes, I'm assuming you'd jump in, too?" "I believe so. This part of the mating dance, Terry, is wasted on you."
  
• Judith Strikes! I Want My Mummy! by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): “I can’t come over tonight, Sandi,” Quinn Morgendorffer said into her mobile phone. The redheaded teen laid on her back on her bed, her left knee propped up and her right leg crossed over that one. “I’m serious! Mom grounded me for a month after that date when Corey abandoned me at those warehouses. She nearly put me into a private school after he got shot right after that!” She nodded and said, “Well, she’ll calm down sometime and I’ll come right over. Bye!” She turned off the phone and shuddered. She hadn’t been totally truthful to Sandi, nor to anyone else outside of her mother and her sister, Daria. But she knew that she couldn’t tell Sandi about how she had been there when Corey was shot, nor about how she had then been taken hostage.
  
• Judith Strikes! Red-Winged Angel, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): She twisted her wrist and the pimp's moans turned into screams. The woman took a step back and her foot flashed out again, catching Sammy squarely on the chin. The pimp went upright again, then off his feet and flat on his ass. Jane stared in horror and fascination at what happened next. The woman proceeded to beat Sammy to within an inch of his life, cloak swirling behind her. Elbows, feet, knees, fists, even fingers. All were used to strike at points designed to cause the maximum amount of pain and suffering.
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 10): When the check came, Sam insisted on paying it. "A guy has to have some prerogatives, Daria," he explained. "Fine, then, can I exercise a girl's prerogative? I'll be right back." Daria got up and walked to the bathroom. All she needed to do was wash her hands, but she spent a few minutes checking her hair. No one had ever called her pretty, except maybe her parents, but they did that because she was their daughter. Her sister would always ask her dates if she looked pretty, and they were often too terrified to say no. When Sam told her how she looked, it was completely unsolicited.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite (Part 8): Sandi noticed with little interest that the Preacher hadn't followed his charges in their attack as she squeezed off a two more rounds at the nearest ravening cubs. The resulting sprays of flesh and blood didn't faze the rest of those little monsters very much, only slowing them ever so slightly as they tried to avoid slipping. Between the cubs and the few believers who had recovered their fanaticism she still needed to make every bullet count.
• MOST NEWEST! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Judith Strikes Highland!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): It was an awesome day. They’d managed to find a whole four—better, three crickets! Whomph! Fire! Yay! And then, whoa, cool! This building, like, went BOOOOM! “That was hardcore!” said Daria. “Heh heh, yeah!” chuckled Quinn. “Hey, you think something else will go up next?”
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): It was a cold winter morning in the middle of nowhere. Two figures stood facing each other, some twenty feet separating them. Daria stared at her father and gulped before saying, "Dad, I'm scared." Usually she would never admit such a thing, but having Jake Morgendorffer point a .45 at her chest was not something she was used to. Not yet. "Kiddo, don't be such a baby," her good old dad said. He checked his gun and prepared it. "We've been over this." (Daria/Kick-Ass)
• Unnamed story (What Would Jane Do?), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Jane..." "Oh, hey, amiga! I'm getting ready to go out, I thought you where out with Ted. Is there something you need?" "Ted left me... for someone else." "What?! I'll tear his head off, that little punk! Who is she?! I'll kill her! No one hurts my amiga."
• NEW! Welcome to the LD, by Angryellow (Parts 2 and 3): "What took you so long?" Daria asked her best friend. "Ugh. Would you believe that my baby brother spit up on my blouse and I had to change into another one? Then I couldn't find my cell phone." "Did you find it?" "Yeah. Rachel had it and was playing with it, despite the fact that I told her not to," Jodie grumbled. "Little sisters. Whatever are they good for?" "Ha. You're preaching to the choir." (Part 3 here) (FF.net)
  
• Wrylight, by Minx (Part 7): Daria was scared. She knew that once she knocked on that door her life would no longer be the same. With an involuntary shudder Daria drew a ragged breath, rapped sharply, and waited for an answer. After a few minutes the door slowly swung open to reveal a disheveled Trent. He stood silently and stared at the young teen. His dark eyes bore into her own as he seemed to search her, as if he were looking for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. “Um, hey Trent, is Jane home?” Daria asked. (FF.net)
  

New Hope for the Wretched?

Punk rock singer and Mohawk-wearer Wendy O. Williams (of the Plasmatics) was born this day 61 years ago. One of the wildest rock stars of the punk scene, Ms. Williams was also a movie and stage actress, macrobiotic cook, gypsy dancer, animal rehabilitator, and health food activist. (The title for this entry comes from one of the Plasmatics' record albums.)

Why the MTV artists decided to use Sandi Griffin as the model for W.O.W.'s alter ego (at right) is beyond me, but Sandi carries it off rather well, except for wearing her light blue blouse instead of the two strips of electrical tape that Ms. Williams wore on stage. Sandi has her limits, I suppose. Sandi's pose appears to be a modification of Ms. Williams' appearance in a 1982 press photo.

Writer, journalist, and former WW2 commando Ian Fleming was born 102 years ago today. He is best known for creating the action hero James Bond, whom Mack Mackenzie honors in his From Russia with Love jet pack outfit (at left). Lt. Cmdr. Fleming planned and took part in Operation Goldeneye during the war, and the name was later used for one of the more recent Bond films.

The Dionne Quintuplets, the only batch of five identical twin sisters to ever survive to adulthood, appeared on this world 76 years ago today. They had a rather unhappy life, I am sorry to report. They later formed part of the background inspiration for this Daria fanfic.

Finally, we also remember math genius Alan Turing, who submitted a paper for publication 74 years ago that changed the world, as it eventually led to the invention of modern computers. The paper was called "On Computable Numbers, with an Application to the Entscheidungsproblem," and I have no idea what it was about. I don't think even Daria would know. Click the link to read it, and good luck. (Turing and Ian Fleming, by the way, knew each other well. Small planet we have, isn't it?)

BRAKING N0OoZ!

• The Daria Shrine has updated! Hooray!
  

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 47: Hell is Homecoming, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 6): The day before the Homecoming Parade was the day they announced the Homecoming King and Queen. They did it in homeroom, so, unfortunately, Finn had to stomach it with Timothy O’Neill. The man had always been a bit splotchy-eyed from crying ever since Barch was arrested.
  
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 26): On a squishy carpet in Re'lax, dead Daria sleeps, dreaming....
• Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 11): “Whoa, easy there, Rambo,” Sam chuckled as he lurched forward from the pressure. “We both know you’re not going to shoot me.” “What makes you so sure?” Trent said through gritted teeth.
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Special: Tokusatsu Team Up! by LSauchelli (continued): Daria and Green carefully eyed the older Daria as they walked to the wish-granting Artifact. Green was doing everything in his power not to try to pummel the Planeswalker. Daria had to keep a constant mental reminder that if he even tried, Urza would probably kill him without breaking a sweat.
  
• Robert, by OverlordMikey (preview): "I swear, Robert, mother and father would turn over in their graves if they knew how you let yourself be used by those shameless little hussies from that Fashion Club."
  
• Sister, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Jane arrived home and noticed Penny getting ready to leave. "Hey, Penny." "In a hurry—got a plane to catch." "Yeah, I just wanted to say..." Jane mumbled the last part. "What?" Penny asked.
• Tales of the Ringbearers: Bad Apple, by Doggieboy (preview 2): "We've got a problem."
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "Your money," one of the men said. "We're broke," Daria said, her voice seemingly small. Both pistols aimed at her and one of the gunmen said, "Too bad."
• Unnamed story (Write-Off Challenge 3, Round 3), by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): Jane knocked on the door to the red-brick house and was surprised when almost immediately it appeared to open itself. She almost jumped back when a green-faced Quinn Morgendorffer motioned her to come inside.
  

Oh, the Horror, the Horror!

PPMB and SFMB are both down, so if you want to chat about anything, you may do so here in Comments. Have at it. I'll ramble on about nothing, after I get back from going out, and maybe the other guys who can post here will do so too, if they know what's good for them.

"I Can Tell You're Really Upset About This, Dave..."

Hard to believe, but it was only 64 years ago that the world's first computer bug was discovered. And it was a real bug, found inside a computer. From that incident came the phrases "computer bug" and "software bug" and HAL 9000.

Today is also Chrysanthemum Day in Japan, with the Chrysanthemum Festival of course. We wish you a happy Chrysanthemum Day wherever you are. Nice name for a holiday. She must be an exchange student at Holiday Island High.

Stay tooned.

Wallpapers, Get Your Free MTV Wallpapers!

I spent way too long playing with Archive.org's WayBack Machine last night, and lo! here are a bunch of computer wallpapers and webpage backgrounds. I skipped some of the little tiled ones but will add them later. If you want to see what an image will look like as wallpaper, click on the link and right-click the mouse, then select "Set as desktop background." Finally, click on "Tile."

Remember that any computerized image can be set as wallpaper, but a subdued/pastel tone is best if you plan to put writing over it as the background to a web page you're creating. Dark backgrounds should have light, bright lettering, and pale backgrounds dark lettering. A very light screen (background shade) actually improves legibility, which is why I use very light gray tones on some of my fanfic.

The Not Quite Complete List of
All MTV Computer Wallpapers for
Animated Shows and Other Stuff
(1997-2001)

AEON FLUX
Aeon Flux, 1
Aeon Flux, 2

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD
Beavis and Butt-head, 1
Beavis and Butt-head, 2
Beavis and Butt-head (on couch)
Beavis and Butt-head (Christmas wreath)
Beavis and Butt-head (doctors)
Beavis and Butt-head (Huh-huh, small)
Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis with frog in mouth, small)
Mr. Van Driessen

CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH
Deathmatch
Deathmatch Ring

DOWNTOWN
Downtown (blue)

SPYGROOVE
Spygroove




DARIA

BRITTANY
Brittany (name)
Brittany
Bubbles (Brittany)
Pom-poms (Brittany)
Space Brittany

QUINN
Quinn (name)
Space Quinn Page
Quinn
Fashion Club Page
Cute (Quinn)

DARIA
Daria (name)
Daria Main Page (2000)
Space Daria Character Page
Daria Character Page
Daria Data (computer theme)
Daria Character Page (2001)
Daria Screensaver Background (2001)
Daria (face oblique)
Daria (face front, purple)
Daria (face front, blue)
The World According to Daria (space theme)

HELEN AND JAKE
Helen & Jake (names)
Helen Character Page (2000)
Jake Character Page (2000)
Jake

KEVIN
Kevin (name)
Gridiron (Kevin)

JANE
Jane (name)
Jane Character Page
Lane-Bay, 1 (space theme)
Lane-Bay, 2 (space theme)

TRENT AND MYSTIK SPIRAL
Trent (name)
Trent (space theme)
Mystik Spiral
Trent and Spiral

JOMA (Jodie and Mack)
Jodie & Mack (names)

UPCHUCK
Upchuck (name)
Upchuck Character Page (red curtains)

OTHER DARIA
Virtual Lawndale (space theme)
Lawndale Lions
Ask the Cast (space theme)
Downloadables (space theme)
Exclusive Clips (space theme)
Daria Store (space theme)

Hacker Birthday to You, Hacker Birthday to You....

Guess who became an adult today? This is the 18th birthday of the World Wide Web, which appeared this day to the public in 1991. (Purists quibble over what exactly constitutes the Birth of the WWW, but we'll go with this one for now.) Daria's close personal friends, Beavis and Butt-head, are on hand to... do whatever they do. Guess whose birthday is also celebrated today? Kevin Mitnick turns 46. Remember him? If the name is not familiar, don't worry about it. It's a hacker thing, you wouldn't understand.

This is also the birthday anniversary of pop-art icon Andy Warhol and of investigator of paranormal mysteries Charles Fort, but they were covered pretty thoroughly last year. With pictures, too. Oh, and here's Daria the Biker again for Anonymous. That's the biggest I can find online.

PPMB

• Iron Chef: Daria Is Raven's Apprentice, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Hmmm... I think that a Benjamin says that you ain't seen nothing." "Robin, Benjamin Button is not on the hundred-dollar bill!" "Of course he is! And here, look: he gets older as the denominations get smaller." [And there's more!]
  
• Reaped Out, by Pinkminx (Epilogue to Act 1): I hope you know what you're doing, Morgendorffer. (FF.net)
  
• Reaped Out, by Pinkminx (Act 2, Part 1): I don't like it when I say people should die and then they do. I don't want that kind of responsibility. But what if the responsibility was thrust upon you? (FF.net)
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 11): “Hello, is Daria there?” said Ryan. “Wow,” said Quinn. “A guy calling for Daria. That's a first. I guess you brains don't have the same style standards.”
• Reunions and Introductions, by Tscroggs (continued): "Most of the stuff I had was either connected to bad memories I didn’t want to keep; or wasn’t worth transporting when I moved. I had one hell of a fire sale before I left. Everything else I donated or gave away. I’ve got pictures of most of it if you want to see them.” Jane’s eyes darted over towards the child, who was now seated on the coach with a picture book. “Some of its not kid safe though.”
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "One thing bothers me, though. What'll we do about all those Brussels sprouts?"
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Hump Day), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Daria stood in the communal dressing room while other women darted around her pulling on costumes or applying makeup. She glanced around nervously, certain that her deep unease was obvious to anyone who cared to give her a second glance. She wasn't sure which made her more uncomfortable: her purpose for being here or the combination of the arctic blast from the AC and her semi-nude state.

A Significant Day for the Computer Age, Indeed

Sit back in your computer chair for a moment, ignoring the squeaky sounds, and cogitate on the following importance of this date.

141 years ago today, a man named Christopher Latham Sholes was granted a patent by the U.S. government for inventing a thing he called a "Type-Writer." Others had attempted this, but he put everything together and got it right. He went on a few years later to invent the QWERTY keyboard you are probably using right now.

97 years ago today, a man named Alan Turing was born. He is nowadays regarded by many as the father of computer science. Time magazine said of him in 1999: "The fact remains that everyone who taps at a keyboard, opening a spreadsheet or a word-processing program, is working on an incarnation of a Turing machine."

66 years ago today, a man was born named Vint Cerf. He is presented regarded by many as the father of the (capital I) Internet. He was involved in the creation of ARPANet, the Internet's predecessor, and now works for Google.

Finally, 45 years ago, Joss Whedon was born, who later went on to create Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which in time became one of the favorite, if not THE the favorite, TV show of Quinn Morgendorffer, per the episode "Speedtrapped." He also gave us the fandom term "Jossed," which has no relevance to Daria fandom now that the show is over.

What does this mean? It means.... um, wait, I went too far. Skip the part about Joss Whedon. Strike it out.

What it means is that today is VERY IMPORTANT in the history of the very item you are staring at right now. I mean the whole computer, not just the monitor. VERY IMPORTANT. Don't forget that.

Today is also the 83rd anniversary of the very first SAT test as we know it, which gave us the P-STAT that caused some distress among the Fashion Club in Is It Fall Yet? Is that cool or what?

That's all I had. Enjoy.

"Do these horizontal stripes make the flag look fat?"

Tiffany Blum-Deckler, as Betsy Ross, dresses up for Flag Day in the United States. She must have been paid a lot of money to wear that tacky gray outfit.

Today is also auspicious in a global sense. On this day, 187 years ago, a paper was published by the Royal Astronomical Society in which inventor Charles Babbage proposed the creation of a "difference engine," which was basically the first modern math calculator. It was hand cranked. He later proposed a more advanced version he called an analytical engine, more like a true computer. How might history have changed if the computer had caught on over a century earlier than it did? There is a Daria fanfic that attempts to find out: Legendeld's "Other Side," the only existing steampunk fanfic in this fandom. Would a steampunk world be better than ours? Jane Lane doesn't think so.

FF.net

• John Lane 40: Starry Eyes Open (COMPLETE!): Ms. Li's voice announced over Lawndale High's P.A. system, "Welcome back students and remember, the school nurse is in and ready to take your voluntary urine sample. Show your Lawndale High spirit with the gift of urine!" Walking down the hallway with Daria, John looked up at one of the speakers. "She didn't really say that, did she?"
• Just Friends, by Pinkminx (Part 11): "Daria? Is that you?" Jane's voiced echoed through the expansive flat, followed by the sound of rushed steps as she descended from the upper level meeting Daria in the hall. "Great, you're finally home. So, how'd it go?"
• Unfavorite Daughter, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Oh, don't bother," one of two boys said as an auburn-haired girl walked by them. "It's that brainy chick." The 16-year-old girl didn't give them a glance as she snapped, "Darn, and I wouldn't have been able to resist your manly good looks."

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 10): After their meal, it was fully dark outside. Roger and Scarlett deposited the bowls in the kitchen sink. At that time, he looked out the window at the car and asked, “Is that your car? Or does it belong to your parents?” She shook her head and blinked as she looked down. “It belonged to John,” she said. “I took it from him when I k--, I mean, escaped from him.” (SFMB)
• Caught, by Legendeld (Part 1): The kitchen table jumped when Quinn Morgendorffer stuck both palms onto its surface. “Daria, tell Jane she’s being unreasonable.” Daria rolled her eyes as she lifted her novel higher to block the fighting duo from view. “All I said is that I think it would be cool if you acknowledged me at school.” Jane pulled out a chair from the table and plopped down in it. “You’re the one that wants to keep our dating a secret. You don’t get it both ways.”
  
• Expecting Trouble, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): Quinn sat between her sister and Sandi Griffin as the television show came back on. “She looks so strong,” she whispered to Sandi. “I wish she had gone with her hair up though. The pigtails are making her look childish.” Sandi whispered back.
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 7): Between those interruptions, as his left arm throbbed and a warm dry breeze blew over him from the driver’s view port, Mackenzie found himself falling into a different world. A few pages of typed commentary were appended to the main body of paper-clipped text, which was a carbon-copy transcription of what Daria, whoever she was, had been transmitting from California. (HTML)
  
• Lawndale's Finest: Action Stories Issue Three: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Part 1): The hallways of Lawndale High were filled with students milling around, talking with friends, and unloading books into lockers. The traffic was mostly headed in a single direction, and carried Jane and Quinn along with it. “What are we being dragged into the auditorium to listen to this time?” Jane grumbled. “Heck if I know,” Quinn answered with a shrug. “I still have flashbacks to the riot that broke out after our self-esteem speeches.”
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): [Looks like Luhrman is going to be a bit tied up in his work.]
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 16): On his first flight over Svalbard Island, Martin Peters took Tatyana Petrova with him. He concentrated on scanning the area for any undead, while she was ecstatic from the thrill of the experience. “I can’t believe this!” she said and looked at him. Her expression showed her happiness. “Doesn’t this thrill you?”
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Chapter 4, Part 1): Jane opened the front door of her home and greeted her two best and only friends with a semi-lucid “Yo.” “Morning to you too, sunshine,” responded Daria dully, drawing a smirk from her brother.

An Apple a Day....

Yes, it's World Environment Day once again, but we don't care about that. Thirty-two years ago today, the first Apple II hit the market. Daria Morgendorffer, it is often said, uses a computer that resembles an Apple. I have no idea what it is, you tell me.

There was a modified version of the frontispiece of The Daria Database that had Daria in an Apple advertisement, but I cannot find it now. Where'd it go?

Anyway, more soon. I have not updated all the recent goodies on DariaWiki but will do so later.

FF.net

• Daria, Poem Unlimited: The Meme Wars, Part III, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): [Oh. My. God. I immediately posted the link to this story on DariaWiki under "Good Crackfic." Awesome.]
• Daria Wakes Up and Slinks Off to the Pub, by NoLogique (Part 1): Daria woke up and slunk off to the pub. She selected her plaid jacket, the one that reminded her of Jane so much. She wandered through the chilly morning, the tint of rain clammy at her face. There was a man in a large cardboard robot costume in front of the pub doors, stepping out into the street jerkily. [Whoa. Out there, man.]
• The DT Files, by SSJ04 Mewtwo (COMPLETE!): [LOTS of ficlets, very cool stuff. Some are on the adult side, so to be safe this is linked to the author's site and not here.]

PPMB

• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 8): When Daria stepped away and jumped off the cliff face, the three people in the helicopter stared in shock. All were silent, except for the single f-bomb uttered by Jack. They watched as the woman hit several pine, maple and fir tree branches on her way to the reservoir below. Each branch she hit broke, but they also served to slow her fall, somewhat. Then she hit the water in a dive and disappeared under the surface. (SFMB)
  
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 6): Mackenzie found it easier to stand up in the Saladin’s turret if he supported himself with his right elbow on the lip of the gunner’s hatch while bracing his left boot against a stacked ammo box by the ladder below. Keeping the sling for his left arm tied against his chest also helped, though he credited much of his consciousness to the bursts of agony from his gunshot wound whenever the Saladin’s bad shocks jolted after hitting broken asphalt or debris. Medication scarcely diminished the pain. (SFMB) (HTML)
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Outside, the world held its breath, but inside the room, all was quiet. Senator William Jacob Sloane, the senior Senator from Maryland looked down at the aged figure in the bed before him. His father had maintained vigor in both body and mind well into his 90s, but the death of his beloved wife of over 70 years had finally sent the great man into his fatal decline. Now all that was left was a barely breathing shell.
  
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Parts 7 and 8): Tom led Jane to a quiet booth seat in the far corner of the bar and sat down. Jane stood at the end of the table arms folded protectively across her chest. "What do you want?" she asked vehemently. She was not in the mood for social niceties. BONUS! [from Part 8]: She sat in the shade of one of the oak trees as she tried to bide her time before her next reap. She withdrew the small piece of crumpled yellow paper and glared at; she knew the hit, she knew the address; it was her mother's law firm and her care factor was hovering around zero. [Whoa!]
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Project Pegasus (continued from earlier fragment): Daria climbed leisurely up the stairs that led to the roof, humming "Pop Goes the Weasel" for kicks. As she lifted the hatch that opened onto the roof, she met the smell of military grade explosives mixed with construction material turned carcinogenic by being set aflame. The slightest whiff of charred flesh made her blood rush.
  

A Clean Sweep

My computer is working much better now, at least. Amazing. Kind of a lucky disaster after all. I posted Trent here as a symbol of my "clean sweep." (Actually, the computer did the clean sweep, I just rebuilt it. Sort of like blowing up your house to clean the chimney, I guess. And don't start in on me about Windows. People who use Macs and Linux are Communists and hate America.)

Daria, Butt-head, and a few other characters appeared in Fortune magazine eleven years ago today. The picture of them (on Outpost Daria) is quite amusing. Daria is reading a book, of course.

I'll post new fanfic here soon. Still home recovering, sort of let things get away from me.

LATER: Had to fix a few more problems. Up and running again.

An improved front page for DAYLIGHT is up at Dariaverse.com. Thank you, LSauchelli!

Richard Lobinske offers up a story bunny from "The Lost Girls" on PPMB.

Legendeld wants to know how your personal writing goals have gone for the year so far. Give him a note.

Great new art: Two-Face DeMartino, by DariaPhantom (a.k.a. DrZoidSpock). Big fun! Comments and praise go here.


FF.net

• Jurisdiction, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): Robert Nelson meets... nah, I won't give it away. :)
• The Quinn Show, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Daria meets The Truman Show, and reality does a complete meltdown!
• Size Does Matter, by HawkingRadiation (a.k.a. BlackHole): Chapter 4 freshly installed in this long-running AU series.

PPMB

• Babysitting, by Legendeld (Part 5): “I take it we have a new development,” Helen said, knowing the news wasn’t going to please her.
• Blood, Sweat, and Cheers, by Kristen Bealer (Parts 10 and 11): Jane rolled her eyes. "Looks like Upchuck found out about the webcam." (Chapter 11 is a prelude to world-ending disaster!)
  
• Daylight: Ashes and Kisses, by Legendeld (Part 7): “Jamie White, you are accused of killing a breeding stock cow. What do you have to say for yourself?”
• Daylight: Paying Off Old Debts, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Rufus, the naked mole-rat, was in despair. Middleton was in flames, the population was decimated.
• Daylight: Return to Daylight, by Legendeld (Part 1): Daria Morgendorffer grasped her best friend’s hand as they stared into the event horizon. Her friend squeezed back slightly as the soldiers started calling for people to move through.
• Daylight: When the Ball Dropped, by Disco316 (Parts 6, 7, 8, and 9): "I love you, Charles Ruttheimer." “Rrrr, feisty!” Then things go downhill.
  
• Farmyard Funnies, by Deref (COMPLETE!): Our long national nightmare is over! Hallejuah!
• John Lane 37: Chrysalis, by Richard Lobinske (Part 1): [Everybody say it at once!] NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS!
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): "I'll bet the sunset is beautiful out on the open sea." "You know it," Skylar said. "Maybe I'll have you out there sometime." Over my dead body, Jane thought.

All That Glitters...

Glitter Berries updated for the last time one year ago today. Alas.

Part of a story about "snowflakes" takes part on this day 11 years ago. Peter Guerin completed an essay entitled "Cynicism Is Painless" on this date six years ago.

I am still working on my computer after the crash on Friday morning. It will take a while before I post a lot of interesting stuff (if I ever did), so please be patient and hang in there.