One Small Step for Jodie, One Long Run for Jane Lane

As Jodie Landon reminds us, 41 years ago the Eagle landed on the Moon. As Daria and Jane remind us, "See Jane Run" premiered on MTV 12 years ago. An important day in history, indeed. Today turns out to be critically important in one fanfic, as you will see. Yesterday will be an important day 17 years in the future according to another fanfic, as you will see.

The best part of "See Jane Run" was, of course, seeing Jane. Our Heroine (Jane) was magnificent, but her sidekick Daria was a wet blanket with her constant whining and acting sorry for herself and complaining about Jane doing something great. What heights could Jane have achieved had Daria not been such a pain in the butt? Alas, we will never know.

However, to commemorate the anniversary of "See Jane Run," you can download a PC screensaver that shows Jane running, saved from an MTV website by the WayBack Machine at Archive.org. Click on the link (an .exe file), save it, run it, be amazed. I adore this. The file (called "Run, Jane, Run" as a screensaver) was posted online about 10 years ago and works perfectly, with sun and moon and stars and everything! Jane sure can run a long time.

Moar l8r.

Teen Angels

Daria's only flirtation with religion appeared on MTV just 11 years ago today with the episode "Groped by an Angel." The episode sparks a lot of fanfiction ideas, but a big one it fires on is this: could there be guardian angels in Daria? Given all the disasters that the characters experience in the series, the answer leans toward "yes." Seriously, how else could Daria have survived the collapse of the school library roof, her near accident in the family SUV, the sinking of the Princess Fairy, the hurricane, and everything else?

Does Quinn have a guardian angel? Fanfiction says yes. Does Daria have a guardian angel? Fanfiction says yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Does Jane? Apparently not, dammit, but as she says in "Speedtrapped," she's a survivor and probably doesn't need one. So, maybe "Groped by an Angel" was on to something. (I know the images with this blog post come from "Daria! The Musical," "Lucky Strike," and "Sarcastathon 3000," but they fit so I am using them.)

The Morgendorffers appear to be some liberal flavor of Christian, most likely Protestant, because they have a Christmas tree and are at (very rare) times shown in church. Plus, the outdoor wedding in "I Don't" looked very Protestant to me. Religion doesn't seem to enter much into their lives, except for cursing and weddings. And minor religious bits in certain Sick, Sad World episodes. Oh, right, there's the big Cupid in "Depth Takes a Holiday," but he's a Greek demigod and not really an angel. Upchuck is shown as Cupid in an alter-ego, but he's no angel, either.

Here's what I am pondering: what would a guardian angel from Daria properly look like? Creatively speaking, I mean. I have a mental image of Sandi Griffin's alleged guardian angel as having the form of a heraldic griffon (eagle's head and wings and foreclaws, with a lion's body, rear feet, and tail). A griffon for a Griffin. Works for me.

Any other ideas? Might a guardian angel look at all like a spirit animal from "The Teachings of Don Jake," or like a small animal like the bulldog in "Through a Lens, Darkly," or like a cat? Could Jeffy, Joey, and Jamie actually be Quinn's guardian angels? Why would she have three? Toss out some ideas here. Spread them around like manure and let's see what grows in it.

Angels. Why do they all have harps in Daria? I don't think any of the characters depicted with them know how to play them. Oh, and here are some fan artworks of Daria cast angels:

• "Fallen Angels" (SRA)
• "The Archangel Daria" (Geoffrey Roberts)
• "Quinn as Claire Danes' Juliet, from the movie Romeo+Juliet" (Liliane Grenier)

Meanwhile... hmmm, don't have any fanfiction lists ready. Moar later then. Talk amongst yourselves about angels in animated series. Especially this one.

Oh, I Wish I Were an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile...

Just 74 years ago this day, the very first Oscar Mayer Wienermobile was built (according to the Sick, Sad Life Planner). This unique brand of automobile has not gone unnoticed in Daria fanfiction. Great story, Dr. Mike.

Nelson Mandela turns 92 today. Happy Birthday, dude. You rule!

Lord Akiyama tries his hand at redesigning Jane Lane. Hmm... blue...

FF.net (other links added to stories' first mention in this blog)

• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (Part 6): In her high school years, Daria had never bothered to attend a gig, or even a shindig. Occasionally she was roped into birthday parties (which sucked) and that was about it. All her life she had dedicated herself to not fitting in. That was what she liked people to believe anyway… So the fact she was walking toward an old van with some slacker who happened to be really, really cute? Unbelievable. Some would even go as far as to say actually impossible. But Daria was (apparently) a go getter now, thanks to the slack community of Lawndale where breathing quietly was a talent.
• NEW! From the Fractured Life of Stacy Rowe, by Respite (COMPLETE!): [From PPMB earlier this year]
  
  

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• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 1): Jane broke off the embrace and sat down on Dorian's bed and rested her head against the padding of the wall. She patted at a spot next to her. Dorian joined her. She grabbed the pillow from the top of the bed and placed it on her lap. She directed his head to rest on the pillow. Dorian laid down staring up at the ceiling. Jane started brushing her fingers through his hair. She looked down and stared at his eyes. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw Daria in them. "Hey Daria... I know you're in there... talk to me."
• NEW! Daria: The Puppet Princess of Lawndale Kingdom, by OverlordMikey (Part 2): "Daria, how long are you just going to lay there bemoaning what happened?" Quinn asked angrily. "I'm sulking, not bemoaning. There is a difference." "Daria, how many times have I told you, 'If you want something, go for it.' Don't just stand there complaining about it. How do expect our society to move past the Middle Ages if we never get more powerful female leaders?"
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 53: Purely Magnetic, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): “You have a crush on Henry.” Paul’s matter-of-fact tone of speaking was not helping matters. “I do not.” Daria tried being as blunt as he was. “Okay. No big deal. You know, I was thinking Henry should get...” “No! I don’t do dating. I barely do friends. I wanna keep things where they are. It works, it's fine.” “Alright.” Paul shrugged, and Daria wondered whether he just didn’t care or didn’t believe her.
• NEW! Judith Strikes! Mack Dynamite vs. the Crimson Phantom, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): Judith sat up, unashamedly nude, and began brushing her hair out. "God damn. No wonder they call you Mack Dynamite." she said. In the bed behind him, Mack Dynamite smiled. "You do realize that I'm still gonna have to run your sexy ass into the slammer for what you did." he said, pulling a joint from his nightstand and lighting it. Judith put her glasses on and looked at him with a smirk.
  
• The Shadow Education, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): After a last sweep for electronic bugs (it was her house but you could never be too careful when it came to Li), Diane Bennett took her seat. “This emergency meeting of the Shadow School Board is now in session.” (FF.net)
• NEW! Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): "Ow, Ms. D!" Kevin whined as he snatched his arm back. "That totally hurts!" Claire sighed, grabbed hold of his hand, and wrenched his forearm back over to her. While the wound left by Stacy's nail file hadn't really been very serious, the deep gouges taken out of his arms just above the wrist were much nastier. They had already washed the lacerations out in the small bathroom behind the office, but Claire insisted on treating them with iodine from the first aid kid they'd found under the front counter.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): On the walk home (because her parents were always going to be too busy to pick her up), Daria decided this imaginary girl should be called Jane. Nice, normal name. (She'd wanted such a name at times, at least one that couldn't be turned into a term for bowel movements.) Jane could tell her about the upcoming lessons (okay, O'Neill had told them at the end of class): "So, then, after the role-playing, next class they put the girls and the guys in separate rooms and a female counselor talks to us about body image."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Straight meets Gay), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Straight meets Gay), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Who is this guy again?" Jane said. "My name is Stonewall," the young man said. "I'm sort of a day of commemoration rather than an actual Holiday, but trust me, it's a lot more complex than most people know." Stonewall didn't say much about himself, but it was clear even to the blind that he was FABULOUS! "A lot of the Holidays out there are realllly conservative, and I needed to get out of there and blow off steam." "There's not much we can help you with," Daria said. "We're just not part of that scene." "Oh, definitely. So I decided I'd bring some help with me!"

Hi Ho, Janey-Oh!

As Daria's Sick, Sad Life Planner informs us, Disneyland is 55 years old today. Our Heroine, Jane Lane, takes on the role of Walt Disney's Snow White for the occasion, PLUS! the real Snow White from Disney for artistic comparison. Very clever, these MTV artists.

Charles RB offers up a new Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend. Ooooo...

NEW! RLobinske has updated the 2010 Big List o' Daria Visual Fanworks! Great works on display to the world! Hooray!

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• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 19): Scarlett didn’t know what time it was when she finally woke up. She laid still as she oriented herself to the darkened teacher’s office that was now their room. Roger's right arm was draped over her right side and his thumb was hooked into her panty waistband. My shirt must have rode up, she thought as she chuckled, or he made it ride up. Dirty boy. She smiled and carefully pulled his hand free. I wonder what the schedule is for the showers here.
• The Continuing Adventures of an ANGRY!!! Young Man, by Charles RB (Part 3): In military school, they’d taught him how to survive against all odds. On the football field, he’d learned how to endure great pain. As a high school student, he’d had to put up with lots of idiots. All of his skill and learning would be pushed to the test once more. It was time for History class with Mr. Thompson.
• Daria/Dorian 4: Partner's Compromise, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "...and, in conclusion, this project taught us many valuable lessons about financial transactions in the real world." Mack looked around the room. "Yeah," Kevin said, "like never leave a cash down payment." Kevin burst into tears. "Oh gosh, don't let them see me like this." The next thing anyone knew, Kevin was running out of the room. Mack watched in confusion as Kevin left. "Umm... thank you very much." Mrs. Bennett took a quick glance at her door before allowing Mack to sit down. Jodie gave him a sympathetic pat on the back. He just sat and shook his head. "Now Dorian and Jane will talk about budgeting a wedding."

• Finn Morgendorffer 53: Purely Magnetic, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2 and 3): “I’m just getting ready for Prom right now.” Finn returned, carefully steering the conversation. “Really? I’ve already got my dress picked out,” Stacy gushed. “Please say I can show you. Ohmigod, it’s totally great. Kyle totally thought so too, it’s going to match him perfectly!” “Kyle? Kyle Stentson, the junior on the soccer team?” “Yeah, he asked me, offered to buy my ticket...” “How does a guy who can’t even go somewhere ask you on a date?” “Finn, is there something about Kyle I should know?” Stacy asked innocently. (Part 3 here)
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 6): "Good afternoon," Derek told the crowd. "Here's your chance to share your stories about friends and loved ones that served their country and are no longer with us. My thoughts are with everyone who ever served in the 21st Infantry Regiment, Massachusetts National Guard. From it's inception as the 21st Massachusetts Volunteers in 1862 to those currently on station in Iraq. All of you are by buddies." He stepped back and motioned to Daria to step forward. She crossed the stage and had to pull the microphone down to be heard. "I'm thinking about my grandfather, Nathan Morgendorffer. He was a Marine in the Korean War that landed at Inchon and was later wounded at Chosin. He was... he was never the same afterward."
• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (part 1): Grove Hills had, in the frightened tones of people who are expecting lawsuits or (worse) bad press, informed the Morgendorffers’ that Daria had “run away” with a strange crew. So when Daria turned up at their house the next morning in the company of different strangers and with a dirt-covered skirt, Helen had screamed her head off. After she found out Daria had just gone to a concert, Helen just screamed. A lot. “I can’t BELIEVE you, young lady, this is COMPLETELY unacceptable you’ve put ME down, you’ve let your FATHER down and worst of all you’ve let YOURSELF down, you’re going straight back to Grove Hills—” “Hur hur hur, she said we’ve gone down on someone. Heh heh heh heh!” (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 44): "Hi," said the stranger. "Megan Eastman." "Kiki Morgendorffer," Quinn said. "Morgendorffer?" Eastman asked. "Are you related to Daria Morgendorffer?" "Oh... no. No, it's entirely a coincidence. I'm an only child." "Well... good," said Megan, not entirely convinced.
• Judith Strikes! Educator DeMartino in "Malled!" by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): 1997! The rise of youth crime has forced teachers and the police to be merged into one… Only hard men can keep discipline! Hard men like EDUCATOR DEMARTINO! (Daria/Judge Dredd)
• Judith Strikes! Mack Dynamite vs. the Crimson Phantom, by Erin M. (Part 3): Mack Dynamite's eyes flashed open and he rolled out of bed just as the katana came swinging down and embedded itself in his mattress. He got to his feet, moving automatically into a fighting stance. Across the bedroom, Judith stood at the foot of his bed, arms folded, a smirk on the visible portion of her face. "Nice reflexes," she said.

• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 17): "I was thinking we should concentrate around the Fenway or Kenmore Square. But... check this out, Jane. The Orange Line goes right near your school too. It stops at a station called 'Ruggles'." "You know, Daria, we could live anywhere we want. My dad says that the North End is really nice and they have fantastic Italian food." "Really?" Daria did a search for apartments there. "There are some good deals there." She went onto Wikipedia for more information on the North End. "Oh cool! Take a look at this, Jane. The North End was where the Great Molasses Disaster happened." "Molasses Disaster?"
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Jane eased the gag out of Tom's mouth. "Yeah, sorry about this, but..."
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Stacy was beside herself with happiness. Micky, her very favorite uncle, was coming to Lawndale to film a segment for his cable TV series, Appallingly Filthy Working Conditions! on the Discovery Channel....
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): After high school, Sandi moved out to California and moved in with her flamboyantly redheaded Aunt Kathy...
• Unnamed story (Behind the scenes in a Daria fanfic), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Daria and Jane sat in the cheap plastic chairs, waiting. Jane passed the time playing computer solitaire while Daria flipped through this week's issue of the Economist. Jane's computer beeped.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend), by Minx (COMPLETE!): "Now answer me," said Daria to Jane, "why do people think that I'm you?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane is Daria's imaginary friend), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): Artie was hunched in front of his computer screen. An odd assortment of lights were blinking on the display. "You wanted to see me, Artie?" He flinched and turned. "Claudia, I wish you would stop sneaking up on me." (Daria/Warehouse 13)
• Unnamed story (Raft College: The First Year), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "Hey Daria, I wanna make these ginger cookies for Christmas, and we're all out of molasses. Could you pick some up when you go to the store?"
  

Still Holden On

The Catcher in the Rye turns 59 today. Is outcast Holden Caulfield a literary ancestor of Daria Morgendorffer? If not, who would be?

A bit of quiz-work for the fans follows.

The Atomic Age turns 65 today. A student from Holiday Island High came into being that day and appears in this fanfic.

A space disaster 16 years ago led to another fanfic that changed the lives of Daria and Jane. Not for the better, though.

Quinn Morgendorffer mourns the tragic death of a certain famous individual 11 years ago today.

Two fanfiction authors, an original fanfiction character, and the fanon "real first name" of a major Daria character were all derived from this individual, who was killed 93 years ago tomorrow after the order for her execution came 93 years ago today.

Moar gnuz 2 come.

CORNHOLIO RETURNS!!!

It has been reliably reported that Mike Judge is working on a new series of Beavis and Butt-head cartoons for MTV. No joke. That tremendous boom you heard was the collective jaws of all Daria and B&B fans hitting the ground everywhere on Earth. Is 9th grade Daria returning on that show, too? If not, will all the other background characters of classic B&B be back: Cassandra, Todd, Stewart, Mr. Van Driessen, and everyone else? Will B&B again appear in high school, or will they have moved on to college or postgraduate work? Will they have aged? Will Beavis again yell, "FIRE! FIRE!" What other marvels and wonders are in store? Can we stand the tension before our heads explode? I doubt it.

By awesome coincidence, today is the 16th anniversary of the premiere of "The Great Cornholio," a B&B episode that featured Daria. Cornholio was one of B&B's cosmic epic wins. And someone just wrote a song to go with it, to the tune of a Lady Gaga hit. Will the super-epicness never cease? The episode is somewhere in this collection of episodes on the MTV site, if you wish to see it.

Cornholio's first words to Daria were: "You have TP? TP for my bunghole?" Daria's first words to Cornholio were, of course: "Get outta here, Beavis!"

In news closer to home, this is the 1,700th post on the DFB2. The DFB2 also celebrates 40 followers and almost 180,000 hits in its three years of life. Thank you all! Hope to keep you happy.

As a side note, today is Saint Swithun's Day. Those who know about weather know that if it rains today, it will continue to rain for another 40 days. Or so it is said. We shall see.

Vive le Brittany!

Today is Bastille Day, as Brittany so ably reminds all Francophiles, but it is also the 13th premiere anniversary of "The Teachings of Don Jake" and the 11th premiere anniversary of "Lane Miserables." Good stuff all around. I am not sure how we could celebrate all three of these events at once, but I am sure there will be found a way in this fandom.

PLUS, it is the 99th birthday anniversary for William Hanna, of Hanna-Barbera cartoons (now owned by Warner Brothers), and National Nude Day (sorry, no images—oh, fine, okay, just one image—click here).

Still running behind. Moar l8r. Okay, now it's l8r, and it's time for...

N00OoZ!

• An alert reader has pointed us toward another snarky Jezebel.com essay on Daria. I will collect these and add them to the Director4y at left before too long. Thank you!
• The Midwest DariaCon 2010 is One Month Away! Click on the link and make your travel plans.
• A DariaCon in Europe in October? Could be possible. Read and sign up, then get your tickets.
• NEW! C.E. Forman continues to thrill and amaze with his display of Daria collectibles. Oh, my kingdom for the life-size Jane RealDoll with the power drill! God bless America!
• NEW! Chris Tucker is still looking for air vents in Daria's room. No, seriously. Great thread.
  

And we will also attempt to fill out the extremely late list of Daria fanfiction, about three or four days overdue. My apologies for this tardiness. Keep checking in throughout the day as I add more stuff, and feel free to suggest or correct anything you see here. (All done now.)

FF.net (COMPLETE AT LAST!)

• College Wry, by LibertyxIsxLove (Part 4): Quinn cleared her throat. "So... er, we were gonna talk about Tiffany?" "Oh, right! You said she was in with a bad crowd or something?" Sandi was making an effort to be involved, but her eyelids were slowly drooping. "We don't know exactly," Quinn admitted. "But you know how it's been, she keeps not showing up when we make plans, and acts all secretive when we ask her about it. Plus, she started painting her nails gray." Stacy cringed and Sandi sighed, "I noticed that." She leaned in closer to Quinn. "The last time I was at her house, she had three bottles of Juicy perfume, and she hadn't opened any of them. They were just lying around like... like garbage!" "Those poor Juicy bottles!" Stacy grieved.
  
• The Daria Daze, by Kurt Dale (Parts 1 and 2): Daria could still taste the cheesy delight on her tongue as she lazily heaved her suitcase onto the bed. Her black, circular glasses falling to the edge of her nose, the usual sigh ensued. This was it. Daria was going to college, it was a chance to make new friends, stop being anti-social, have a real go at life. Daria's lip twitched at the thought that even she knew this wouldn't happen. Picking up a tattered, dog-eared copy of Jane Eyre and a demo tape made by Mystik Spiral, Daria wondered what would her new accommodation would be like, she imagined four walls, a perky blonde roommate, various undergarments strewn about the room, in her imagination she added some rough furniture and a computer. A drab visage. Daria liked the thought of a nice, normal, quiet dorm. Minus the blonde.
• The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 26 and 27): Flattop had been looking for about forty-five minutes. It was an airport, so he was expecting this. He'd moved past the United Terminal and had to veer around a major scene – four beings, magic in some way, had killed themselves in the middle of things. All this security here meant there'd be less elsewhere. Good news for him. Still, he didn't breathe easy until he was past the dopes from security. Bunch of would-be flatfoots, the lot of them, but that didn't mean one of them might not see him and figure out something was going on. Up ahead, in the distance, he saw a dame that looked like his target. He kept her in sight but far enough back so she wouldn't catch wise. (Daria/ Buffy tVS/ Angel/ Dick Tracy)
  

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• Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Yo, Daria, you in there?" A monotone mumble came from behind the bedroom door. "I'll take that as a yes." said Jane as she pushed open the door. "What's up, amiga... OHMYGOD! What happened to you? You look like crap on a crap cracker"! Jane was being kind. Daria, sitting on the side of her bed, looked exhausted. Her normally shiny auburn hair was lank and greasy and limp. She smelled bad. Her skin was pale and sweaty. A bucket was at her feet. "It was another fanfic, Jane." "Oh, dear lord! Was there... 'inappropriate touching'?"
• Crawly Things in the Night, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): Dearest Friends (and others), From the ashes, like the phoenix of old, JaneCam rises again! With a new webcam and a domain all its own, this'll be the best JaneCam until the next version hits the web, after my first million. Until that time comes, tell your friends, and other people you've met at your fancy colleges, to come, visit, click, watch, enjoy, and pay me money. After all, you're my friends and if I can't exploit you and your connections to people I never have to, or want to, meet, what good are you? Jane Lane, Founder of the soon to be most popular site on the web!
• Daria/Dorian 4—Partner's Compromise, by LadieT (Part 4): arrived, Jodie was rubbing Mack's back as he buried his face in his hands. Jodie offered Dorian and Jane the other half of their booth. Mack looked up at them. "I would ask how your project is going but I have a strange feeling I already know the answer," Jane said before taking her first bite.
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious (continued): Daria bellowed anger and frustration as she clawed savagely at the elevator door with her blade. Long, deep scratches were left behind after every hit, but it was obvious even through the red haze over her vision that it would take hours to make any real progress, and by then the mono-edge would most likely be dulled down to the sharpness of a basic kitchen knife. She leaned back and gave the stubborn door one last solid kick, then stood huffing as she tried to calm herself down. "So that's it, then," she heard Mack say behind her. "We're dead."
• Finn Morgendorffer 53: Purely Magnetic, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Wow, I should come over here more often, Rebecca,” Doctor Cecil Aismuth remarked as he tastefully sipped the concoction in a martini glass. “Don’t get comfortable, you’re here for a reason,” Rebecca Crossan returned. “Mrs. Truesdale is one of the most influential women in this country, and she is an incurable nymphomaniac. I’m giving her quite a selection of man-meat to ogle over.” “Yeah, have I mentioned there is so much wrong with this. To start with, I have a girlfriend who is, in fact, here with us tonight. Second, even if her husband is not here, she’s married. Third, you’re also including your own brother in this display.”
  
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 5): The old friends watched an old Sick, Sad World episode on a big-screen television in the living room. The announcer said, ” This is just astounding! Here you are, blind, deaf, and barely able to walk, yet you conducted simultaneous affairs with three members of the Royal Family!", followed by the same voice, slightly older, saying, "And the Royal Family must not be able to smell because he reeked!" Laughing, Jane said, "I love the commentary tracks on these DVDs."
  
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (continued): "There had been a plot to dispense with me," said 'X.' "That couldn't be tolerated, so I've had to take certain unpleasant steps." "You're talking," Jane rasped out, "but you're not saying much. Better make me happy, 'X.' You know I'd love to kill you." She kept the flashlight trained on the cripple's prone form. There was no need to narrow the distance between them. Jane was a very good shot, not that it mattered with a weapon such as the one she held. "I am not at all trying to deceive you, Jane," the horror replied, reasonably. "Whatever else happens, it is vital that I survive, if I am to protect the Solar System during the invasion, and preserve what can be preserved of the null-A way of life." The enormity of that claim almost took Jane's breath away, but she kept her aim steady. "So, then, who was that, in this very room, talking about murdering thirty million Martians?" (Daria/World of Null-A)
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 43): When Quinn Morgendorffer returned in January for her final week at home before the beginning of Spring Term, she expected that Jill Yardborough would be waiting there with a list of recriminations. Two days before her return to Lawndale, she was seriously dreading coming home and meeting Jill again. Quinn had already started work on her speech. ("Jill, she forced me into the car! I didn't mean to leave you behind! But it was my grandmother and she's lonely and she's missing a kidney and she's...!") Quinn never got started.
  
• Jane Lane, Ace Attorney: Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): It had been two months since the Brittany case and Jane had yet to get first seat again. The whole time she had expected to meet with Daria to catch up on old times, or something, but she had not seen her since that day, at least not in person. The media went nuts with praise at the young and wise prosecutor who deduced the innocence of the cheerleader in a matter of minutes into the case. There was no mention of myself, not a one, Jane thought as she sniffed herself. I might need to buy some new deodorant or something. Perhaps that’s the trick to Daria’s success. (Daria/Ace Attorney game)
• Judith Strikes! A View from the Front Row, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): There was silence in the unoccupied classroom. A blue light appeared in the back of the room, and coalesced into the form of a petite young woman, her face almost totally obscured by the red cloak she wore. The young woman reached back into the cloak, as if she were searching, when the door to the front of the classroom opened and a forty-something man, wearing blue slacks and a pinkish, button-down shirt, entered the room. The door closed behind him on its own several seconds after the man’s entrance, and he stood behind the desk as he turned to face the intruder.
• Life, But Not As You Know It, by Phoenix (Part 3): Elsie tapped her foot impatiently on the linoleum floor of the principal’s waiting room. The young secretary behind the desk shot Elsie a silent plea for her to cut it out. The secretary sighed, “Ms. Li will be with you shortly.” Elsie nodded. She was due to take the school tour and by the looks of it she was going to be the only student. A few short minutes later the intercom buzzed, and the secretary informed Elsie that Ms. Li was now available. As she entered the principal’s office, her eyes fell on the short, stocky woman sitting behind a large oak desk. Ms. Li gave a tight smile and ushered Elsie to take a seat. Once seated, Ms. Li gave Elsie an appraising look. “Elsie Sloane...” Ms. Li mused in an airy tone. Elsie’s brow stitched itself into a bemused frown. “Ms. Li?” (FF.net)
  
• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 15): Monday was a classical concert at the DeBartolo Performing Arts Center, which Bryce enjoyed more that Daria did, and Thursday, a pleasantly warm day, was a picnic on one of the greens followed by a long walk around campus and a not-quite-but-almost-public make out session that had Daria questioning her sanity. She mentioned it to Colleen the next day, but the redhead laughed off her concerns. “I don't see why this bothers you. So you made out with a guy somewhere that someone might have seen you.” “It's not the sort of thing I do,” Daria said stiffly.
• Politricks Are Not for Kids, by Brian Taylor (Part 6): We hear a mechanical revving, fierce and intractable. The door to Jane's office bursts back open to reveal Jane wearing a welder's mask and a rubber apron, clutching a revving chainsaw between gloved hands. [I would have added more, but there was too much win. Must read.]
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 16): Daria stood quietly outside Terminal E's security checkpoint. Jane's flight was supposed to have already arrived: it said so on the arrivals/departures monitor next to the Southwest Airlines ticket counters. She wanted to duck into the newsstand to relieve the boredom of waiting, but she didn't want to miss seeing her friend. Jane had called her during lunch, to tell her that Trent was driving her to BWI Airport and that her flight was supposed to get in around 5:30. It was now a little after six. Daria was very much looking forward to seeing her. It had been over a month since she last saw Jane. Although they often emailed each other and talked on the phone, it wasn't the same as being together. Daria was not the mushy sort, but she did miss Jane tremendously.
  
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar (Part 9): “Oh, hi,” said Mr. O'Neill. “I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, but I thought you might want your papers back. Some of you are really improving. One more B-plus for you, Sandi. You've been on quite a roll the last few weeks. At this rate you might even break a B in the course. Good for you.” “What's with all the B-plusses all of a sudden?” asked Quinn as Mr. O'Neill moved on. “You're not the only one smart around here. Some of us just keep it to ourselves.” “But he said you only might get a B.” “You don't want to do too well. I mean you don't want to end up at that school where your sist—I mean, cousin goes.”
• That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (continued): "Sir, are you okay? The glaz-ed layering of moisture gleam, that covers all your eyeball proclaims a confusion more deep than normal; confide in me—fear not—you won't seem too dumb." "Yeah, Mack Daddy, er... bro, I just don't get it..."
  
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (Part 4): Daria sat alone in a small booth in the back of the restaurant, listening to the thumping music and breathing the mixed smells of cooking meat, spilled beer, and cigarette smoke. Her reverie was interrupted when a waitress approached, plunking a couple of baskets of chicken wings on the table followed by two tall, sweating glasses of beer. Tossing the tray onto a nearby empty table, the waitress then sat across from her. "Are you allowed to do that?" Daria asked. Sandi shrugged. "It's the end of my shift, I've already clocked out. Also, the manager here is very good to me."
• Unnamed story (Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Personally, I think the attention to symbolism and superior mis en scene make the third Care Bear movie the best," said Judith, daintily sipping tea from a china cup. "But look," protested Tommy Sherman, "the story of the first was a primal archetype, Campbell himself—"
• Unnamed story (Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): This is going to look really cute on Quinn later tonight, Stacy thought as she removed the dog color, folded the it and placed it into a small leather-bound case between the Italian leather riding crop, Gucci handcuffs with chinchilla fur lining and a length of fine silk rope.
• Unnamed story (Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Sandi Griffin sat sulking in the back seat, while her parents talked quietly in the front. The only good thing about her family's visit with her Uncle Peter and the other Rhode Island Griffins was that it was over.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Hello and welcome. We have with us today one of the country's leading teen clothing analysts, Sandi Griffin." "Like, that's not my name!" "I'm sorry. Sandi Gry-fin." "No, no. It's like spelled Sandi Gry-fin, but it's pronounced Cheddar Cheese Percolator." (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "And now for something completely different..."(Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Well, that was all good fun, and we all had a jolly good laugh, but I would like to assure you that you'd never be treated like that if you had an interview to be a girly lumberjack here at the Careers Advisory Board. Perhaps I should introduce myself. I am the Head of the Careers Advisory Board. I wanted to be a psychologist, but there we are. I'm Head of the Careers Advisory Board."(Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Lord Akiyama (COMPLETE!): "No lasagna tonight for dinner? What's the occasion?" "You're father lost a client today." "I don't care that they found nine out of ten British housewives to say otherwise, I can tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab. How can you market a thing like that? And what in the world was he talking about when he said that it also contained ten percent more less?"(Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Raskolnikov (COMPLETE!): "Damn it!" "What's wrong, amiga?" "This stupid computer is crashing spontaneously again! It's the tenth time this morning!" "Oh, only that? I thought it was something important." "Ha, ha. Very funny. I hope you'll be as clever as you are now with my replacement, since I'm going most surely to be sacked if I can't deliver this before noon!" (Daria/The IT Crowd)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!](Daria/The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "Tom, I'll trade you this cockroach cluster for your anthrax ripple." (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Wraith (fragment): "Hey, Janet." "Yes, Skinny?" "I've got something to say." "Out with it." "I really love the... skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet." (Daria/Rocky Horror Picture Show)
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Wraith (fragment): Daria attended the education sessions because she wanted to find out why so many people were working so hard to kill her. A handful of others were also interested, and the questions were many and good when Jodie and the subversive corporal finished and made the mistake of asking if there were any. "Who is Spain?” “Why is Hitler?” “When is right?” (Daria/Catch-22)
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'Daria, am I going crazy?" "Stacy, let me check your test results. First, elevator mobility: definitely goes to all floors. Second, your skull X-rays: No detectable presence of strudel in noodle. Third, presence of mind: still there. So, the answer to your question is no." Stacy relaxed slightly, then her innate anxiety resurfaced, focusing on another medical predicament: "I swear if this continues, I'm going to have a heart attack!! I mean it feels like I have runaway tachycardia!!!" "I believe you lack a basic understanding of heart function, Stacy. See, the heart is like a cheap blood-filled squeeze toy that progressively decays as the foam rubber hardens, clogs up with crap, then begins to split." "Eeewww!!" "But, in your case, that hasn't happened. So no, no heart attack."
  
• The White Fox, by Lord Akiyama (Part 2): "Okay, Daria," she muttered to herself. This was in spite of the heavy breathing she was making. "Don't panic. There's nothing to worry about. This all just a dream. Just like Holiday Island. This is not real. It's just a dream." It was then that Daria tried to get up. Only to find that she couldn't. As a matter of fact, she could barely move at all. She looked to discover the reason for this. She was bound to a chair. Ropes tied to ensure that she remained in her seat at all times. Her legs tied to the legs of the chair, her hands tied from behind. The knots were of an advanced skill, thereby preventing her from even wiggling. [Contains mature content]
  

Urban Legends Never Die

"Legends of the Mall" celebrated its 10th premiere anniversary yesterday. Sorry about missing that. Loved Metalmouth. Had a lot of fun with him.

"Fair Enough" premiered on this day 13 years ago. An excellent episode that afforded me much fun as well. Will attempt to catch up on stories soon. Stay tooned.

BANG!

Today is the 206th anniversary of the last second-to-the-last time that a Vice President of the United States got away with shooting someone while still in office. VP Aaron Burr plugged former cabinet member Alexander Hamilton in the most famous duel in USA history (not counting wild gunfights like at the OK Corral). Hamilton died but got his face on the $10 bill as a consolation prize. Burr's feat remained unchallenged until February 2006. No Vice President of the Fashion Club has ever shot anyone, so far as can be proven.

Also on this date, 31 years ago, Australia was destroyed when the American space station Skylab landed on it after reentry. NASA was fined $400 for littering as a result, but NASA refused to pay because, hey, it was Australia.

And this is the 10th anniversary of the day that Outpost Daria was foxed. Oh, boy. Moar shortly.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 4—Partner's Compromise, by LadieT (continued): The conversation between the three was broken by Quinn's whistle. Dorian and Jane looked up and saw the off-white bridal gown and smoky light gray tuxedo in Quinn's hands. Jane jumped up and walked around the dress. Quinn stopped her and held the dress up in front of her. The effect on Dorian was instantaneous. She would look beautiful in that dress. I don't believe I just thought that. Yet, I can't take my eyes off of her. (FF.net)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 52: With Extra Bitters, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “We’ll get along just fine,” Henry remarked. “Ooh, you wanna know what this dinner party needs, Daria? Civilians. I mean, if they’re trying to have an assassination, what really brings it home for the viewers is the chaos and screaming and trampling. So you gotta have people screaming and diving for cover and praying to Jesus and all that. Two competent people to stop the assassination, one person who knows about it, everyone else needs to be screaming and scared and crapping themselves.” Henry delivered this information with a lot of cheerfulness.
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 15): Daria bounced over the lunar surface, following Sam towards what he described as a large depression. Sam had told her that there was something really cool inside; she could not begin to guess what it might be. Everything she'd seen so far was exquisitely cool. Her spacesuit, for example, was not a bulky Apollo-era apparatus; instead, it was a skin-tight one-piece garment with a clear plastic bubble over her head. The outfit reminded her of the covers of pulp science-fiction magazines, with attractive blonde space girls being threatened by all manner of unspeakable alien monsters. Despite feeling a little self-conscious about the suit, Daria was having a good time, leaping far higher than she possibly could on Earth.
• True Blood, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Have you been doing heroin... without me?" "Leave me alone." "Answer me! What have you been doing?" "Selling my body." "You're selling your body for drugs?!" "No, don't be ridiculous. I'm selling my blood plasma at the local blood bank. I get sixty bucks a visit." (Daria/Teen Titans)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): A serene lake, no ripples. No wind. Only the occasional sound of a seabird. All is calm. All is bliss. All is peace. Suddenly, Sandi Griffin bursts out of the water, coughing and gasping for breath as she crawls up onto the beach, sea weed and plants hanging from her clothes and hair. She staggers to her feet and walks unsteadily towards the camera. "Make me wait under the freakin' water for two freakin' minutes," she mutters. "Can't be any ripples, she says... Seven freakin' takes in a row... Pants and shoes are wrecked... I swear I'm gonna—" (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• NEW! The White Fox, by Lord Akiyama (Part 1): "I dunno about you, but I'm finding this whole thing really creepy," Jane said. "Tell me about it," Daria said. "The likelihood of you and I having the exact same dream are slim to none." "I refuse to believe what apparently happened yesterday was real," Jane stated firmly. "I refuse to believe any thing that has happened in life is real," Daria stated herself. "Doesn't make them any less true." "Good point," Jane noted after a moment's though. "But generally speaking, there's no way that Holiday Island actually exists and that we encountered the living embodiments of St. Patrick's Day, Cupid, Halloween, Christmas, Guy Fawkes Day, and the like."
  

Telstar Tales

A very curious and historic day this is, indeed. Just 48 years ago today, a satellite was launched into Earth orbit from Florida. Its name was Telstar. It was not only the first communications satellite to transmit live television and high-speed data (telephone calls and faxes) across the Atlantic, it also the first privately sponsored space launch.

It created a great stir, uniting in one stroke the people of North America and Europe through their TV sets. Telstar I became the forerunner of a great family of communications spacecraft still used today. (We're up to Telstar 18.)

So, up went Telstar, and then... people went a little crazy. You have to understand how amazing Telstar was to the world of 1962. It was SO amazing, a mad blizzard of completely unrelated things were all named Telstar in honor of the original one, because everyone thought it was such a cool thing. This naming trend has continued to this very day. Things are STILL being named Telstar because of that one long-ago satellite.

Did you know that Telstar revolutionized soccer? (That's football to everyone but the USA.) This happened when Adidas came out with a soccer ball painted to look like the satellite. It is now the standard soccer ball the world over. No kidding.

And there's more. Telstar also happens to be the name of...

• a very popular instrumental song that I remember from my childhood (listen to it here)
• a brand of soccer shoes
• a soccer team from the Netherlands
• a make of Ford cars
• a high school in Maine
• a family of Coleco videogame systems (one example)
• a character (a.k.a. Satellite) in the Final Fantasy VI videogame
• a 2009 movie
• a book of science-fiction stories
• a blog
• a hotel in Italy
• a brand of computer tower cases (detailed images)
• a brand of automobile tire rims in New Zealand
• a type of electronic part
• a brand of telescope
• and what looks like jewelry that lights up, I think... maybe
  

I wonder if anyone has named a child Telstar. (Oh, the horror.) The original Telstar satellite was destroyed by radiation from hydrogen bombs set off in outer space, which sounds like I am making that up, but I am not. Burned the satellite's power right out. Very sad. It's still up there, the original Telstar, still orbiting the Earth even in electronic death. Not likely it will ever be forgotten, at least not by anyone who plays soccer.

Today is also the 154th birthday anniversary of super-genius Nikola Tesla, whose name sounds like Telstar but is unrelated. Tesla is mentioned in only three Daria fanfics. A pity. Telstar has never been mentioned at all. (The above was corrected, thanks to readers more alert than I am.)

Time for something completely different. Or not.

NeuZ!

• C.E. Forman displays his most fantastic treasures: original Daria collectibles! My brain can barely process all the win!
• Fan Chris Tucker asks, "Did you ever notice...?"
• NEW! Fun reading: "Daria: A Love Letter From A Former Teen Nerd," from Jezebel.com.
  

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): As school ended, Jodie and Mack approached Dorian. Dorian was staring at the tiny slip of paper from Mrs. Bennett's class. Jodie shook her head as she pointed at the Dorian's hand. "Congratulations on getting the one project that none of us wanted." Jodie smirked. "Gee thanks. Good luck with your projects. Mack, twenty bucks says Kevin actually ends up buying a car." Dorian replied. "I would say you're on but we are talking about Kevin." (FF.net)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 52: With Extra Bitters, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “Look, I didn’t want to snap at you. I’m just not used to having other people criticize my writing. Or other people for that matter. Ask my first boyfriend what happened when I showed him a story I wrote. And, well...I read yours. The one you said wasn’t any good because you divided your time like you did. Well...I liked it. It was good, better than mine.” Daria admitted, and every word was painful. “So what’s the problem with that? Course mine’s gonna be better, I’d been writing these things my whole life, and I’m older than you. It’s as obvious as don’t run with scissors or don’t put your dangly bits in the mouth of an alligator.” “I wrote my whole life too!” Daria returned, ignoring his randomness. “That was me, every day I wrote. And I watched my writing get better and better, and the off-chance that I shared it with someone, they loved it. Not that my English teacher would ever say something that could damage my poor self-esteem, but it was enjoyed, and thought to be great.” “So I come along and ruin everything by, what, being good at the same thing? Jeez, ego trip much?”
  
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 4): Seated at the dining table while Derek prepared breakfast, Karen said, "Jane Lane. What are you doing up so early?" Hair as rumpled as her t-shirt and shorts, Jane said, "Having to get to school at 7:30 has made me a morning person, dammit." "But not a very cheerful one," Karen said. "You can bet your sweet ass I'm not cheerful about it. Coffee?"
• NEW! Full Metal Pragmatist, by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "OK, this might hurt a bit..." came Trent's voice as it roused her from her nostalgia. "Don't sugar coat it for the girl, boy," grumped Bernice Lane-Rockbell from her place near the girl's lower body. "OK, it will hurt a bit..." he continued. "Hell with a bit, it's going to hurt a lot," stated Trent's aunt and guardian as her nephew carefully and expertly slid the ends of the wiring into the exposed flesh around the girl's clavicle. (FF.net)
  
• The Graduation Gift, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): I glanced at the clock. It was six thirty. I showered and got dressed. I stared at myself in the mirror. My short black bangs had been replaced by longer ones that curved around the contour of my face. I covered my lips in their signature red. My face appeared drawn and tired. My last set of finals had been brutal. I looked down at my hands. My fingers were calloused from years of artistic abuse. Today though will prove it was all worth it. I left the bathroom and headed back to my room. (FF.net)
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 8): Quinn took a deep sip from her diet soda like a stereotypical cop with a cup of coffee in a particularly difficult interrogation. “Okay, let's go through this again. What skirt do you want to go with your top?” “What's wrong with jeans?” Daria asked. Quinn sighed dramatically. “I told you already. My jeans don't fit you. You have an apple body-type, everyone will see your belly. A couple weeks away from Pizza King and we'll discuss that.” “Quinn, this is really just a one-time thing.” “I can help you out. But ultimately you have to figure things out for yourself. Me doing this all for you isn't going to help you in the real world.” “I don't even watch The Real World.”
• NEWER! The Theme from Mack Dynamite, by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): [Songfic lyrics for everyone to sing!]
  
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (Part 3): "Jane... I... there's something I need to tell you." Jane leaned over, poking just enough of her head around the large canvas that Tom could see her from the nose up. She gestured with her paint brush for him to speak. "It's... it's important." Tom waited a moment, and when Jane didn't respond his brow creased with irritation. "Could you come out from behind the damn painting a minute?" Jane sighed, and Tom heard the clatter of her palette on the table followed by the gentle splash of her brush being dropped into a jar of water. She walked around the side of the easel and stretched, moaning slightly as her neck and shoulders popped. Tom's eyes flicked away, trying not to notice that Jane's figure had returned to what it was before her pregnancy, only now enhanced with a gentle swell of hips and a prouder set of breasts. Doing a good job not noticing, Tommy Boy, he thought sourly. (Continues from this once-unnamed story)
  
• Unnamed ficlet (Did you ever notice...), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/The Matrix)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): The mob of peasants surged forward and threw the bespectacled girl at Bedevere's feet. "A witch, a witch! We've got a witch! Might we burn her?" "How do you KNOW she is a witch?" Bedevere demanded, his right eye periodically popping out of its socket. A particularly dim peasant, with outsized shoulders, spoke up. "She looks like one, y'know?" "I'm not a witch," the girl said flatly. "But you are DRESSED as one," Bedevere told her. "These morons dressed me up like this," the girl countered. "This isn't my nose. It's a false one." "Well, we did do the nose," the peasant conceded. (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Staticblast (COMPLETE!): "Good morning, Minister." "Gfd mfrng... Sorry, good morning. Scone's a bit dry." "Yes, well, I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop my silly walk." "I see. May I see your silly walk?" (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Minx (COMPLETE!): Sandi stood in front of her locker discussing the new school dress code, "...And under no circumstances shall either of you wear neon. It wasn't cute last year and I'll make damned sure it won’t be this year. I don't care what Valentino says," she turned to her trench-(wo)men for confirmation but was cut off but the chirp of three message cell phone tones sounding out simultaneously. Stacy was the first to check, she flipped open her phone and looked at Sandi gravely. "What, what is it?" Sandi barked. Stacy shook her head timidly and muttered a few words that resembled, 'Nothing, don't worry,' before flipping the phone shut and shoving it into the depths of her bag. "Nothing my ass," Sandi retorted as she drew her own cell-phone from her locker and checked her messages.
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/Fawlty Towers)
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "Daria, I called because I wanted to find out if you could do something to help Stacy. She's been having these horrible nightmares about high school." "Quinn, there's nothing wrong about that. Almost everyone has horrible nightmares about high school. Even you. Remember that dream you had where you were surrounded by fanboys and nerds and couldn't get away from them, as they tried to get your autograph, cut off pieces of clothing and cop feels?" "Yeah, I sure do. And who would've thought it would turn into reality after I went to work in television..."
• NEWER! The White Fox, by Lord Akiyama (prologue): The figure went over the words again to make sure what he was reading was the material he was looking for. He looked up and around to make sure the teenage girl was still asleep in her bed. Satisfied, the figure silently slipped out of the padded bedroom through the window, careful to not make a sound as he went. He quietly moved, jumping from one rooftop to the next. Much of the moon was covered by clouds on this night, offering him more darkness to cover him from unsuspecting eyes that might get lucky and catch him about. The figure did not stop until thirty minutes later when he reached his destination.
  

Love Story

Rock star Courtney Love, beloved of MTV's animation staff so much that someone drew Quinn Morgendorffer in Ms. Love's attire, turns 46 today. Odd how some people cringe when I mention that I collect her CDs. Really like her music. Some people have no taste, I suppose. Click on the label "quinn as courtney love" to see previous Love birthdays, including an image that might have been the model for the alter ego at right.

Outpost Amy, beloved of Daria fans from way, way back, was last updated nine years ago today. Such a fun website with such wonderful stories! It was the first shared world in this fandom.

Stay tooned, moar on the wai.

NoooZ!

• Re-viewing Daria: a PPMB thread about watching the show all over again, and how it looks the second time around.
• Lord Akiyama presents us with another view of Quinn and one of her fanfiction beaus.
• Erin M. offers up an Iron Chef: First Impressions. "Your mission, should you decide to accept: Chronicle the first meeting between Helen Morgendorffer and Amanda Lane. Other members of either family can be involved in this meeting."
• Not to be outdone, we have Charles RB's Iron Chef: The Great Age Reversal. "Your challenge: do a fic where all the adult characters are students at Laaaaawndale High, and the teens are the adults. And Kevin is a teacher of the most inappropriate class he could possibly be given."
• And there is Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond, by MJPollard. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it: show one or more characters from Daria (your choice) interacting with the characters from any popular British television series (including, but not limited to, Coronation Street, Blake's 7, Red Dwarf, Absolutely Fabulous, Fawlty Towers, Prime Suspect, and, of course, Doctor Who)."

FF.net

• The InDark, by Mediancat (Part 25): Here they were. Once again, hanging around an airport again in the middle of the night, which was rapidly becoming early Tuesday morning. At least everyone else could sleep, Daria thought, seeing Jane and Oz sacked out a couple of seats apart. Aunt Amy was awake again and getting the two of them coffee. The third time she'd slept, for about an hour and a half, the First had apparently left her alone. She'd dreamed about Camp Grizzly, but nothing had reminded her of April 10, 1997, either the day or the book. (Daria/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel/Dick Tracy)

PPMB

• Dammit, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): "Dammit, Peter! I've got a meeting with Buzzdome in twenty minutes and I need to explain to them why their market awareness penetration is below projections." "Dammit, John! Don't look at me. The new boy spearheaded that one." "Dammit, Peter! Get him down here." (Daria/A Bit of Fry and Laurie)
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): Axl scrabbled at the controls for the elevator doors with digital fingers, but they were locked down tight without even the slightest crack into which he could apply leverage. Boiling with frustration, he left a part of himself there to try a brute force approach as he turned his attention back to the exits. If he could get the survivors out of the building quickly enough, it wouldn't matter if they were all together or not. His brain buzzed with the intensity of keeping several parts of himself working all across the DENA network. The implants and surgery that the Engineer had put him through enabled him to split his consciousness across several parts of that system, but one of the downsides was the infernal itching that it caused in his head.
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 42): Unless one had read the back pages of the Sport section of the Fielding newspaper, Daria knew that one might never have guessed that such a thing as a Fielding Swim Meet existed. When the four of them—Helen, Jake, Daria and Jill—arrived at the Fielding Natatorium, the only clue of such an event was a simple sign near the entrance, a sign supported with two stiff wires shoved in the dirt. The sign read "SWIM MEET HERE." Not even the dignity of the school name. "Cool," said Daria, "I didn't know we were having a swim meet. I would have been completely unprepared."
• Judith Strikes! Mack Dynamite vs. the Crimson Phantom, by Erin M. (Part 2): As he reached the top of the stairs, he saw a slender female figure bent over in front of the upstairs door. She was wearing a short denim jacket and what looked like a white halter top. Mack Dynamite took a brief moment to appreciate the tight, muscular buttocks encased in the ass kissing red vinyl bell bottoms, before walking up and giving the woman a playful slap on the ass. The woman bolted upright, spun on one foot and lashed out with a fist. Mack Dynamite's forearm shot up and blocked the attack effortlessly. He smiled and looked into crystal blue eyes under shaggy black bangs. "Relax, Baby Jane," he said. "Didn't mean nothin' by it. Just saying hello." The expression of anger faded, and Jane Lane, Madame Daria's bodyguard and Gal Friday, smiled. Red lips parting to show perfect teeth.
• Life, But Not As You Know It, by Phoenix (Part 2): “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Elsie said as she removed her black over-sized sunglasses and looked up at the building in front of her. “This is a joke right?” she turned to her mother and waited for Kay to respond. “Do you see me laughing?” Kay said stiffly, and then began to walk across the small parking lot to the staircase that clung to the outside of the apartment block. Elsie gave a disapproving grunt and followed her mother. When Kay had first told her that they would be moving into an apartment, Elsie had envisioned the new high-rise that had recently been built near the shopping district. Not this. The building in question was a two-story structure that looked like it had been erected in the mid-to-late sixties; a place of residence that, in its heyday, would have been quite acceptable to live in. Now, however, it was in a great state of disrepair.
• The Light of the Charge Brigade, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): By the time the four arrived at the Khaki Barn, they were exhausted but all very happy, carrying multi-colored paper bags and shoe boxes. Stacy noticed a wool sweater featured on one of the displays at Khaki Barn. "Hmmm...." Stacy thought to herself. "Good choice, Sta-cee," Sandi said. "British hand-knit will be so in this winter. Way to think ahead." "Yeahhhh," Stacy said, "but I'm almost up to four figures on my parents' charge card. The last time I spent this much they yelled at me. I don't know." "But if you don't get it now it will be marked up in two months!" Quinn said.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Lord Akiyama (COMPLETE!): "So... you're an artist." "You can say that." "So am I. What kind of thing do you do?" (Daria/Spaced)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Quiverwing (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by NightGoblyn (Part 2 of this unnamed story): The door slammed thunderously, making the dishes in the cupboard rattle and causing LJ to start crying. Daria winced, and then walked over to the playpen, sweeping her little girl up and cooing at her. The brunette glanced up as her best friend stomped into the room and threw her book bag onto the worn love seat. "Rough day at the office?" Daria asked quietly. "Shut up," Jane snapped, glaring at the other girl. A little down the hall, a door swung open and Tom stuck his head out. He peered around with a sleepy, confused expression, and then asked, "What's with all the racket?" "Go to hell!" Jane shouted. "I'm a goddamn pariah, and it's all your fault!"