Vive le Brittany!

Today is Bastille Day, as Brittany so ably reminds all Francophiles, but it is also the 13th premiere anniversary of "The Teachings of Don Jake" and the 11th premiere anniversary of "Lane Miserables." Good stuff all around. I am not sure how we could celebrate all three of these events at once, but I am sure there will be found a way in this fandom.

PLUS, it is the 99th birthday anniversary for William Hanna, of Hanna-Barbera cartoons (now owned by Warner Brothers), and National Nude Day (sorry, no images—oh, fine, okay, just one image—click here).

Still running behind. Moar l8r. Okay, now it's l8r, and it's time for...

N00OoZ!

• An alert reader has pointed us toward another snarky Jezebel.com essay on Daria. I will collect these and add them to the Director4y at left before too long. Thank you!
• The Midwest DariaCon 2010 is One Month Away! Click on the link and make your travel plans.
• A DariaCon in Europe in October? Could be possible. Read and sign up, then get your tickets.
• NEW! C.E. Forman continues to thrill and amaze with his display of Daria collectibles. Oh, my kingdom for the life-size Jane RealDoll with the power drill! God bless America!
• NEW! Chris Tucker is still looking for air vents in Daria's room. No, seriously. Great thread.
  

And we will also attempt to fill out the extremely late list of Daria fanfiction, about three or four days overdue. My apologies for this tardiness. Keep checking in throughout the day as I add more stuff, and feel free to suggest or correct anything you see here. (All done now.)

FF.net (COMPLETE AT LAST!)

• College Wry, by LibertyxIsxLove (Part 4): Quinn cleared her throat. "So... er, we were gonna talk about Tiffany?" "Oh, right! You said she was in with a bad crowd or something?" Sandi was making an effort to be involved, but her eyelids were slowly drooping. "We don't know exactly," Quinn admitted. "But you know how it's been, she keeps not showing up when we make plans, and acts all secretive when we ask her about it. Plus, she started painting her nails gray." Stacy cringed and Sandi sighed, "I noticed that." She leaned in closer to Quinn. "The last time I was at her house, she had three bottles of Juicy perfume, and she hadn't opened any of them. They were just lying around like... like garbage!" "Those poor Juicy bottles!" Stacy grieved.
  
• The Daria Daze, by Kurt Dale (Parts 1 and 2): Daria could still taste the cheesy delight on her tongue as she lazily heaved her suitcase onto the bed. Her black, circular glasses falling to the edge of her nose, the usual sigh ensued. This was it. Daria was going to college, it was a chance to make new friends, stop being anti-social, have a real go at life. Daria's lip twitched at the thought that even she knew this wouldn't happen. Picking up a tattered, dog-eared copy of Jane Eyre and a demo tape made by Mystik Spiral, Daria wondered what would her new accommodation would be like, she imagined four walls, a perky blonde roommate, various undergarments strewn about the room, in her imagination she added some rough furniture and a computer. A drab visage. Daria liked the thought of a nice, normal, quiet dorm. Minus the blonde.
• The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 26 and 27): Flattop had been looking for about forty-five minutes. It was an airport, so he was expecting this. He'd moved past the United Terminal and had to veer around a major scene – four beings, magic in some way, had killed themselves in the middle of things. All this security here meant there'd be less elsewhere. Good news for him. Still, he didn't breathe easy until he was past the dopes from security. Bunch of would-be flatfoots, the lot of them, but that didn't mean one of them might not see him and figure out something was going on. Up ahead, in the distance, he saw a dame that looked like his target. He kept her in sight but far enough back so she wouldn't catch wise. (Daria/ Buffy tVS/ Angel/ Dick Tracy)
  

PPMB

• Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Yo, Daria, you in there?" A monotone mumble came from behind the bedroom door. "I'll take that as a yes." said Jane as she pushed open the door. "What's up, amiga... OHMYGOD! What happened to you? You look like crap on a crap cracker"! Jane was being kind. Daria, sitting on the side of her bed, looked exhausted. Her normally shiny auburn hair was lank and greasy and limp. She smelled bad. Her skin was pale and sweaty. A bucket was at her feet. "It was another fanfic, Jane." "Oh, dear lord! Was there... 'inappropriate touching'?"
• Crawly Things in the Night, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): Dearest Friends (and others), From the ashes, like the phoenix of old, JaneCam rises again! With a new webcam and a domain all its own, this'll be the best JaneCam until the next version hits the web, after my first million. Until that time comes, tell your friends, and other people you've met at your fancy colleges, to come, visit, click, watch, enjoy, and pay me money. After all, you're my friends and if I can't exploit you and your connections to people I never have to, or want to, meet, what good are you? Jane Lane, Founder of the soon to be most popular site on the web!
• Daria/Dorian 4—Partner's Compromise, by LadieT (Part 4): arrived, Jodie was rubbing Mack's back as he buried his face in his hands. Jodie offered Dorian and Jane the other half of their booth. Mack looked up at them. "I would ask how your project is going but I have a strange feeling I already know the answer," Jane said before taking her first bite.
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious (continued): Daria bellowed anger and frustration as she clawed savagely at the elevator door with her blade. Long, deep scratches were left behind after every hit, but it was obvious even through the red haze over her vision that it would take hours to make any real progress, and by then the mono-edge would most likely be dulled down to the sharpness of a basic kitchen knife. She leaned back and gave the stubborn door one last solid kick, then stood huffing as she tried to calm herself down. "So that's it, then," she heard Mack say behind her. "We're dead."
• Finn Morgendorffer 53: Purely Magnetic, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Wow, I should come over here more often, Rebecca,” Doctor Cecil Aismuth remarked as he tastefully sipped the concoction in a martini glass. “Don’t get comfortable, you’re here for a reason,” Rebecca Crossan returned. “Mrs. Truesdale is one of the most influential women in this country, and she is an incurable nymphomaniac. I’m giving her quite a selection of man-meat to ogle over.” “Yeah, have I mentioned there is so much wrong with this. To start with, I have a girlfriend who is, in fact, here with us tonight. Second, even if her husband is not here, she’s married. Third, you’re also including your own brother in this display.”
  
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 5): The old friends watched an old Sick, Sad World episode on a big-screen television in the living room. The announcer said, ” This is just astounding! Here you are, blind, deaf, and barely able to walk, yet you conducted simultaneous affairs with three members of the Royal Family!", followed by the same voice, slightly older, saying, "And the Royal Family must not be able to smell because he reeked!" Laughing, Jane said, "I love the commentary tracks on these DVDs."
  
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (continued): "There had been a plot to dispense with me," said 'X.' "That couldn't be tolerated, so I've had to take certain unpleasant steps." "You're talking," Jane rasped out, "but you're not saying much. Better make me happy, 'X.' You know I'd love to kill you." She kept the flashlight trained on the cripple's prone form. There was no need to narrow the distance between them. Jane was a very good shot, not that it mattered with a weapon such as the one she held. "I am not at all trying to deceive you, Jane," the horror replied, reasonably. "Whatever else happens, it is vital that I survive, if I am to protect the Solar System during the invasion, and preserve what can be preserved of the null-A way of life." The enormity of that claim almost took Jane's breath away, but she kept her aim steady. "So, then, who was that, in this very room, talking about murdering thirty million Martians?" (Daria/World of Null-A)
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 43): When Quinn Morgendorffer returned in January for her final week at home before the beginning of Spring Term, she expected that Jill Yardborough would be waiting there with a list of recriminations. Two days before her return to Lawndale, she was seriously dreading coming home and meeting Jill again. Quinn had already started work on her speech. ("Jill, she forced me into the car! I didn't mean to leave you behind! But it was my grandmother and she's lonely and she's missing a kidney and she's...!") Quinn never got started.
  
• Jane Lane, Ace Attorney: Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): It had been two months since the Brittany case and Jane had yet to get first seat again. The whole time she had expected to meet with Daria to catch up on old times, or something, but she had not seen her since that day, at least not in person. The media went nuts with praise at the young and wise prosecutor who deduced the innocence of the cheerleader in a matter of minutes into the case. There was no mention of myself, not a one, Jane thought as she sniffed herself. I might need to buy some new deodorant or something. Perhaps that’s the trick to Daria’s success. (Daria/Ace Attorney game)
• Judith Strikes! A View from the Front Row, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): There was silence in the unoccupied classroom. A blue light appeared in the back of the room, and coalesced into the form of a petite young woman, her face almost totally obscured by the red cloak she wore. The young woman reached back into the cloak, as if she were searching, when the door to the front of the classroom opened and a forty-something man, wearing blue slacks and a pinkish, button-down shirt, entered the room. The door closed behind him on its own several seconds after the man’s entrance, and he stood behind the desk as he turned to face the intruder.
• Life, But Not As You Know It, by Phoenix (Part 3): Elsie tapped her foot impatiently on the linoleum floor of the principal’s waiting room. The young secretary behind the desk shot Elsie a silent plea for her to cut it out. The secretary sighed, “Ms. Li will be with you shortly.” Elsie nodded. She was due to take the school tour and by the looks of it she was going to be the only student. A few short minutes later the intercom buzzed, and the secretary informed Elsie that Ms. Li was now available. As she entered the principal’s office, her eyes fell on the short, stocky woman sitting behind a large oak desk. Ms. Li gave a tight smile and ushered Elsie to take a seat. Once seated, Ms. Li gave Elsie an appraising look. “Elsie Sloane...” Ms. Li mused in an airy tone. Elsie’s brow stitched itself into a bemused frown. “Ms. Li?” (FF.net)
  
• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 15): Monday was a classical concert at the DeBartolo Performing Arts Center, which Bryce enjoyed more that Daria did, and Thursday, a pleasantly warm day, was a picnic on one of the greens followed by a long walk around campus and a not-quite-but-almost-public make out session that had Daria questioning her sanity. She mentioned it to Colleen the next day, but the redhead laughed off her concerns. “I don't see why this bothers you. So you made out with a guy somewhere that someone might have seen you.” “It's not the sort of thing I do,” Daria said stiffly.
• Politricks Are Not for Kids, by Brian Taylor (Part 6): We hear a mechanical revving, fierce and intractable. The door to Jane's office bursts back open to reveal Jane wearing a welder's mask and a rubber apron, clutching a revving chainsaw between gloved hands. [I would have added more, but there was too much win. Must read.]
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 16): Daria stood quietly outside Terminal E's security checkpoint. Jane's flight was supposed to have already arrived: it said so on the arrivals/departures monitor next to the Southwest Airlines ticket counters. She wanted to duck into the newsstand to relieve the boredom of waiting, but she didn't want to miss seeing her friend. Jane had called her during lunch, to tell her that Trent was driving her to BWI Airport and that her flight was supposed to get in around 5:30. It was now a little after six. Daria was very much looking forward to seeing her. It had been over a month since she last saw Jane. Although they often emailed each other and talked on the phone, it wasn't the same as being together. Daria was not the mushy sort, but she did miss Jane tremendously.
  
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar (Part 9): “Oh, hi,” said Mr. O'Neill. “I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, but I thought you might want your papers back. Some of you are really improving. One more B-plus for you, Sandi. You've been on quite a roll the last few weeks. At this rate you might even break a B in the course. Good for you.” “What's with all the B-plusses all of a sudden?” asked Quinn as Mr. O'Neill moved on. “You're not the only one smart around here. Some of us just keep it to ourselves.” “But he said you only might get a B.” “You don't want to do too well. I mean you don't want to end up at that school where your sist—I mean, cousin goes.”
• That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (continued): "Sir, are you okay? The glaz-ed layering of moisture gleam, that covers all your eyeball proclaims a confusion more deep than normal; confide in me—fear not—you won't seem too dumb." "Yeah, Mack Daddy, er... bro, I just don't get it..."
  
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (Part 4): Daria sat alone in a small booth in the back of the restaurant, listening to the thumping music and breathing the mixed smells of cooking meat, spilled beer, and cigarette smoke. Her reverie was interrupted when a waitress approached, plunking a couple of baskets of chicken wings on the table followed by two tall, sweating glasses of beer. Tossing the tray onto a nearby empty table, the waitress then sat across from her. "Are you allowed to do that?" Daria asked. Sandi shrugged. "It's the end of my shift, I've already clocked out. Also, the manager here is very good to me."
• Unnamed story (Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Personally, I think the attention to symbolism and superior mis en scene make the third Care Bear movie the best," said Judith, daintily sipping tea from a china cup. "But look," protested Tommy Sherman, "the story of the first was a primal archetype, Campbell himself—"
• Unnamed story (Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): This is going to look really cute on Quinn later tonight, Stacy thought as she removed the dog color, folded the it and placed it into a small leather-bound case between the Italian leather riding crop, Gucci handcuffs with chinchilla fur lining and a length of fine silk rope.
• Unnamed story (Behind the Scenes in a Daria Fanfic), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Sandi Griffin sat sulking in the back seat, while her parents talked quietly in the front. The only good thing about her family's visit with her Uncle Peter and the other Rhode Island Griffins was that it was over.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Hello and welcome. We have with us today one of the country's leading teen clothing analysts, Sandi Griffin." "Like, that's not my name!" "I'm sorry. Sandi Gry-fin." "No, no. It's like spelled Sandi Gry-fin, but it's pronounced Cheddar Cheese Percolator." (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "And now for something completely different..."(Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Well, that was all good fun, and we all had a jolly good laugh, but I would like to assure you that you'd never be treated like that if you had an interview to be a girly lumberjack here at the Careers Advisory Board. Perhaps I should introduce myself. I am the Head of the Careers Advisory Board. I wanted to be a psychologist, but there we are. I'm Head of the Careers Advisory Board."(Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Lord Akiyama (COMPLETE!): "No lasagna tonight for dinner? What's the occasion?" "You're father lost a client today." "I don't care that they found nine out of ten British housewives to say otherwise, I can tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab. How can you market a thing like that? And what in the world was he talking about when he said that it also contained ten percent more less?"(Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Raskolnikov (COMPLETE!): "Damn it!" "What's wrong, amiga?" "This stupid computer is crashing spontaneously again! It's the tenth time this morning!" "Oh, only that? I thought it was something important." "Ha, ha. Very funny. I hope you'll be as clever as you are now with my replacement, since I'm going most surely to be sacked if I can't deliver this before noon!" (Daria/The IT Crowd)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!](Daria/The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "Tom, I'll trade you this cockroach cluster for your anthrax ripple." (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Wraith (fragment): "Hey, Janet." "Yes, Skinny?" "I've got something to say." "Out with it." "I really love the... skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet." (Daria/Rocky Horror Picture Show)
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Wraith (fragment): Daria attended the education sessions because she wanted to find out why so many people were working so hard to kill her. A handful of others were also interested, and the questions were many and good when Jodie and the subversive corporal finished and made the mistake of asking if there were any. "Who is Spain?” “Why is Hitler?” “When is right?” (Daria/Catch-22)
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'Daria, am I going crazy?" "Stacy, let me check your test results. First, elevator mobility: definitely goes to all floors. Second, your skull X-rays: No detectable presence of strudel in noodle. Third, presence of mind: still there. So, the answer to your question is no." Stacy relaxed slightly, then her innate anxiety resurfaced, focusing on another medical predicament: "I swear if this continues, I'm going to have a heart attack!! I mean it feels like I have runaway tachycardia!!!" "I believe you lack a basic understanding of heart function, Stacy. See, the heart is like a cheap blood-filled squeeze toy that progressively decays as the foam rubber hardens, clogs up with crap, then begins to split." "Eeewww!!" "But, in your case, that hasn't happened. So no, no heart attack."
  
• The White Fox, by Lord Akiyama (Part 2): "Okay, Daria," she muttered to herself. This was in spite of the heavy breathing she was making. "Don't panic. There's nothing to worry about. This all just a dream. Just like Holiday Island. This is not real. It's just a dream." It was then that Daria tried to get up. Only to find that she couldn't. As a matter of fact, she could barely move at all. She looked to discover the reason for this. She was bound to a chair. Ropes tied to ensure that she remained in her seat at all times. Her legs tied to the legs of the chair, her hands tied from behind. The knots were of an advanced skill, thereby preventing her from even wiggling. [Contains mature content]