Of Human Lab Brats Bonding

"The Lab Brat" (left) turns 13 today, and "Of Human Bonding" (right) turns 10. Happy Episode Birthday to you both!

Quinn Morgendorffer's favorite real-world TV star turns 43 today. Can you guess who it is? The answer lies here.

The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was copyrighted 182 years ago today. Odd, it still doesn't look like anyone's using it to check the stuff they write on the Internet.

The Human Genome Project was completed seven years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com. What kind of kids would Daria have if she could "geneer" (genetically engineer) them?

Enough of this. Instead of talking about new fanfiction, let's do something completely different.

UNFINISHED FANFICS I HAVE LOVED (ver. 3.0)

A couple years ago I began a semi-regular series in this column to rave about my favorite unfinished stories. This fandom regularly produces astounding fiction and artwork, considering its small size. Many of the unfinished stories are as exciting to read as the complete ones. Unfinished tales have considerable influence over later fiction, too—super-cool ideas brought up by one author might find new authors to bring them off.

Some of the following Works in Progress appear to be at least a third to half completed. A good number are what I call “First & Last Chapters,” because they end right after Chapter One. A few might lack only one chapter more. So much potential, so many places they could go!

Here’s my current faves list. Sit back and enjoy. Oh—stories previously covered in this column will not be mentioned here (not yet, anyway). We’ll get back to them later. For now, let’s explore new titles. You have some ideas on unfinished fanfics that YOU have loved? Tell me (and everyone else) about them in Comments.

SCIENCE FICTION, MYSTERY, AND HIGH ADVENTURE

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker (Lawndale Lurker) (SFMB): The classic school bus trip from Hell, way over the top and worth the ride. LL moved the story well along from where LS left it, but more is called for. Where are Daria and the gang now? Will they survive the wilderness, or will only a few make it home? And what of the volcanoes? Comedy, adventure, thrills—this packs them all. I gotta know how this ends!
• The Best and Brightest, by Smijey (Smileyfax): Daria stumbles upon a little secret involving Lawndale—or is it a big and dangerous secret? What does Jane know? Where is this going?
• Crouching Monster, Hidden Magic (Daria/The Dresden Files), by LSauchelli: LSauchelli’s modern-magic crossovers with The Dresden Files were exciting indeed. Much deadlier than the Harry Potter stuff, a real mind-blower at times. Any hope of seeing this tale continued, if not adding more tales to the story series?
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North: I have few worries that this story will be soon finished. This SF series is a grabber and a keeper. Keep ‘em comin’!
• Daria’s Web (Daria/Spider-Man), by Fezenclop (Ranger Thorne) (part 2 on SFMB) (part 3 on SFMB) (part 4 on SFMB) (part 5 on SFMB) (part 6 on SFMB) (part 7 on SFMB) (part 8 on SFMB) (OD): Daria is Spider-Girl. Terrific story with fast-moving action. MOAR!!!
• Downbelow, by Smileyfax (FF.net): Jane Lane is no longer in Lawndale. She’s lurking under it. And she wants Daria to join her. Can’t lose with this one.
• End over End, by Shull Bitter: Jane dies. Wait, she’s alive—but maybe not for long. A nail-biter just getting underway.
• Fimbul (ex-More Apocalyptic Daria), by NightGoblyn: First-person Jane tale of a devastated Earth with many familiar faces. This is gold SF. Moar, plz.
• Into the Fray, by Minx (FF.net): Daria, Quinn, Jane, and Mystic Spiral are on a road trip that’s interrupted by a war—the Second American Civil War. A real shocker, lots of excitement (and doubtless angst!) ahead, great writing by a great new talent.
• The House on Space-Time Lane (Daria/Doctor Who), by Lawndale Stalker (part 2 on PPMB) (part 2 on SFMB) (OD) (1111 Space Time Lane, early version): I can’t tell if this one is finished or what. I adore it. LS, where the heck are you?
• Lawndale’s Finest: Action Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North: A superb action/superhero series that should never ever end. Jim’s contribution is up to the grand style we’ve come to expect. And the characters fit the DC Universe perfectly!
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax: Sandi Griffin has several times been linked to vampirism, and this tale (even unfinished) is one of the better ones.
• Manse Griffin, by Smileyfax: Another Sandi tale, in which she inherits a house with secrets unrevealed.
• The Melancholy of Daria Morgendorffer, by Wraith (additional scene here): Wraith has a genius about him when writing anime crossovers. Even from these fragments, a great tale beckons. See if you agree.

• The Mystery Chick, by LSauchelli: What if Jake Morgendorffer had been a detective? What would Daria be like now? This tale provided some answers.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song (Daria/The Lord of the Rings), by Dennis: I honestly didn’t believe anyone could ever pull off this crossover, but Dennis does—and also adds more crossovers to boot. I have to know what happens with Hermione in the mix!
• Survivor Diet, by Smileyfax: If this one is pulled off right, it could rank among the best horror tales in this fandom. “Antisocial Climbers” has a very different ending. Lots of students go up a mountain, but not so many come down again. Let us say that the missing students had a very tasteful fate. This had me rattled with its first (and only) chapter.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite: In a dystopian future America, Sandi Griffin is on the run—but from who? And why? And what the hell is Quinn doing?
• Unnamed story (Daria/The Wire), by Roentgen: This one just grabbed me, and I have never once watched The Wire on TV. Marvelous crossover in such a tiny fragment.
• Wrylight (Daria/Twilight), by Minx (FF.net): Tongue firmly in cheek, Minx leads us through a wacky crossover in which some of Lawndale’s citizens might be vampires. A lot of them might be vampires, in fact. And some are good friends with poor, innocent Daria.
  

ANGST TO THE Nth POWER

• The Leggy Chick, by TheEleventy: I believe this author is back among us. This tale is one of many he left incomplete that cries out for more. A car wreck kills Daria and Trent, but leaves Jane crippled. How she puts her life back together—and who enters her life to help—create a tale to remember. It really takes you places. Excellent stuff.
• The Misery Chick, by thatLONERchick: This tale was listed as complete in 2008, but was later continued. I would definitely love to see more of this sad AU in which events in the original episode called “The Misery Chick” go horribly awry.

OLD-SCHOOL SHIPPERS

• Chances (ex-Don’t Leave Anything to Chance), by Coonassblondie: A Jane/Jesse shipper, uncommon in the fandom nowadays but handed quite well by a welcome new talent. I wouldn’t mind seeing where this one leads.
• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (PPMB): Borrowing an idea from another unfinished tale, Vlora works out a believable background to have an older Daria start the series—just old enough to meet Trent on equal terms. Oh boy! Shipping at its finest.
• Our Time Now, by Charliefox2012: We return again to the Daria/Jane slash shipper, but this story is well told and draws the reader in nicely. (Do not confuse this with this story.)
  

A WALK ON THE WILD, WILD SIDE

• D.A.R.I.A., by Greystar: Daria’s a robot. So is Quinn. Jane just found out and isn’t handling the news so well. What could possibly go wrong? A very engaging freak-out about reality gone wrong.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser: The freakiest freak-out of all, only a whisker ahead of Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III). This series makes my brain all ‘spody. Hang on if you haven’t read either of these yet.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn: Daria crossed with A. E. van Vogt in a mind-bending adventure across two planets in a psychotic future in which the Game is All. This rivals jtranser’s future histories for sheer inventive brilliance. You’ve got to try this one.
• Inner Universe, by Malakite: I haven’t seen an idea carried out like this since the days when Renfield was among us. The series as we know it exists only within the mind of a wildly psychotic high school student named Jane Lane. This has to keep going.
• Personable Computers (Daria/Chobits), by Trscroggs: Daria and Jane are animated computers. I really need to see the story this was based upon. This fragment is too, too crazy.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (old version): Everyone else but me seems to know what’s happening in this out-there tale, but I’m fine with being ignorant and intrigued. This is just so… out there. Continue!
• Taking Tea in Dreamland, by Micka: I can hear Renfield’s ghost whispering to me in this one. Daria’s having a nightmare… that might be horribly true. (To begin with, her name isn’t Daria. It’s Jane.)
  

COMEDY CLUB

• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: A wild and mirthful “behind-the-scenes” account of what was really going on when Daria was being filmed. It was semi-usurped by a similar thread but did quite well for itself. I’d love to read more of this.
• The Handmaidens of Narcissus, by TheSecretSharer: Daria as if done by William Shakespeare. And it works. MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!
• Harry Butt-head (Daria/Beavis and Butt-head/Harry Potter), by Deep Metal: This guy has done some funny stuff on FF.net. Keep poking him to continue this one!
  

MORGENDORFFER FAMILY FOLLIES

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007: Quinn becomes Finn, a boy, in a retelling of the series with Finn Morgendorffer at the focus. I admit I was lukewarm to this series when it began, but now I am horribly hooked. It makes me want to tear out my hair sometimes, I get so involved. Excellent stuff.
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012: Another Morgendorffer Family variant: Daria’s twin sister Darla, who has Daria’s looks but not her brains and personality. This one is just getting started, but I anticipate becoming just as crazed about it as the series about Finn Morgendorffer.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (FF.net): In an alternate reality, Helen Morgendorffer has one simple idea—and the entire series and its world is changed as a result. Excellent AU construction, logical and deftly told with a conservative touch, with characters filled with life.
  

SCHOOL DAZE

• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding (ex-First Day of School, or What Might Have Been), by Roentgen (continued here): One of two brilliant reinventions of the series that take place at schools other than Lawndale High. Superb characterization and startling plot twists make both this and “Regifted” treasures in the making.
• See Jane Ride (a variant of Worth the Blood), by TheEleventy. Jane is in college—developing a new form of art. Highly realistic, marvelous characterization, much fun.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar: The episode “Gifted” jumps the tracks in this AU as Daria and Jodie transfer to Grove Hills. This convoluted tale of classmate treachery and intrigue continues to thrill. Poor Jodie!
• The Substitute (Daria/DC Heroes), by Echopapa: Lawndale High gets a very different substitute teacher in the episode, “Lucky Strike.” I desperately want to see what happens next in this bizarre crossover.