All Hail The Ruttheimer Group!

Happy National Inane Answering Message Day! Upchuck has taken the opportunity to use the following (as quoted from The Daria Diaries):

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

Hey, I think there's fanfic potential in that last one. What kept Upchuck from achieving world domination three years ago? Was his plan foiled, or only delayed? Fandom must know.

Fanfic Update!

• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 2): "Daria froze for a second before shaking her head and muttering, 'What's wrong with me?' 'You live in Lawndale.' was Josh's only reply."


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 11): "John Hobbs smiled at his girlfriend and asked, 'What's the matter, hon? You look like you've seen a ghost.' 'I just thought of a bad dream I had not too long ago,' she said and relaxed. Dammit, I cannot get used to what that genie can do!" (SFMB)


• Bursting One's Bubbles (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn,' said Daria, 'remember how you said that looking at me all day made you immune to all crimes against fashion?'"


• Call of the Wild (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane slowly advanced towards their prey. Jane adjusted her pith helmet and Daria reached for her pistol. 'Do you smell that?' Daria said. 'Oh yeah,' Jane said. 'Spoor.'"


• A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (part 4): "Daria said, 'I agree that it is the sound I heard, but I'm still having a hard time accepting that story you told me.' 'Then don't accept it,' Dorothy said, with an impish smile. 'Come with us and see. Who knows, it might actually be fun.'"



• Daria Morgendorffer-Morningstar: The Daughter of Satan Meets the Messiah (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been a rough week for poor old Daria Morgendorffer, fifteen years old and freshly moved from Texas to the East Coast. Not to mention that her father had died of a heart attack a day before they had left since their mother had been forced to confess to having had an affair with Satan himself."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 17c): "At the head table, Dylan and Lurleen worked their way through the meal in silence. Eventually Lurleen said, 'You didn't want me to fill up time with pointless chit-chat, did you?' 'Nope.'"


• From A Certain Point Of View (Iron Chef: Monkey's Paw), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck grasped the Monkey's Paw and said 'I want to have incredible, mind-blowing, brain-melting sex on demand, whenever I want, for the rest of my life!'"


• Genies are Jerks (Iron Chef: Monkey's Paw), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Before the Genie stood three people who had just found his rubbed his lamp in the course of fighting over it. Now the thing is he was really enjoying chilling in his bottle which was actually a huge extra dimensional house and part of an even larger extradimensional gated community where all the genies of the multiverse lived. Now he was moments from scoring with his hot Genie girlfriend when he was called so he was especially irked."


• How The Past Relates to the Present, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane was curious as to why Daria had insisted that they go to the school's library instead of the roof to have their lunch."


• Iran So Far Away, by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "From inside, he could see her at her desk, the soft white light from her lamp bouncing off her brown hair and highlighting the angular curve of her jaw. She was tearing through a dense pile of papers, indiscriminately applying a blood red rubber stamp to each. Identity POSitive, he thought to himself."


• A New Beginning, by LadieTAG (part 8): "Amy hung up the phone and soon the tears started to flow. Memories of the phone call almost eight years ago began replaying through her mind."


• The Night Helen Saved Christmas, by Aloysius (part 5): "'You're saying that I'm more than just a pretty face,' she responded. 'Yes! That's it! Helen, I could easily picture being in a relationship with you.'"


• Ocean City (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Hi Mack!' 'Brittany, lookin' good. Did ya have a good night last night?' 'What have you heard? Listen just because Kevvie's in the hospital doesn't mean that I was fooling around, whoever told you...'"


• Requisite untitled AU, by mac (parts 1 - 5): "'Kiddo, I know it will be hard without - ' 'It's okay, Dad.' Her soft voice expressed almost no emotion. Only someone who knew Daria well would be able to detect the faint hint of anxiety, matched by resolve. 'It's better this way. The fighting was getting too much to handle. For all of us.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• The Ride Before the Show (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In a white stretch limo, Daria sat with Jane and Quinn, all of them in expensive fashionable clothes from stores like Christian Dior, Prada, and Versace."


• Schlossstecken, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 1 and 2): "A young lady stands in her bedroom. It just so happens that due to an unfortunate grounding involving a curfew infraction and a few offhand comments pertaining to the jurisdiction of the household she is confined to the house but thankfully internet privileges have yet to be revoked, for now." (Part 2)



• The Three J's Get a Dog (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'That Daria girl is cool.' Jamie said to the other two J's as they left the Morgendorffers."


• To Be Queen (Iron Chef: Monkey's Paw), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer looked at the shriveled up monkey's paw in her hand. She wondered if the stories were true. Well it couldn't hurt to try it out, but what could she wish for?"


• Unnamed story (Daria Meets YOU), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Why?' Daria pleaded with her best friend of many years as she sat listlessly in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped around her wrists. 'Why won't you tell me why you did that?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Ms. Landon,' demanded Ms. Li, 'please tell Ms. Morgendorffer why promising an anarcho-communist student government is against school policy!'"


• What's in a Name? (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck took another look at the house number. 1111 Glen Oaks Lane. It was right, but it couldn't be...this was her house. The note he had received entailed a 'surprise' of some sort. Unless..."

Dancing the Night Away with Jackson Pollock

Happy birthday to the late artist Jackson Pollock, born on this day in 1912. Pollock was featured on Daria as the inspiration for Jane's party decorations in "Daria Dance Party." It was edgy, in a dark and disturbing kind of way. Just like Jane herself.

Fandom News!

• You only have two days left to vote in the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! Get those votes in if you haven't already!


• Share your best wishes for those affected by flooding in Queensland.


• drocem shares the background lyrics to "Turn Down the Sun," the song used in Is It Fall Yet?


• Who are your personal scrappies? ThanatosRW invites you to discuss what fictional characters are irredeemable in your eyes.


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Reven384's Monkey's Paw and welltemperedclavier's The Convert.


• SinisterExaggerator posted an art Iron Chef in The Easel: ASCII Art Daria.

Vegemite, Anyone?

G'day, blog readers! Today is Australia Day, a day in which we all reflect on how everything in Australia can kill you. Or something like that.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (part 11): "We stare at each other, me lying on the floor and him leaning against a low bookcase, neither of us make any attempt to move as I try to work out what’s going on in his head. Maybe he’s trying to work out what’s going on in mine."


• Chapter 5 (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "NOTE: screw you all homophones! Trent is now gay except for when he’s kissing Daria, otherwise he dates {insert “goth” band leader person???}. And Dair’a true love I Michael he hot bi boyfriend who isn’t in this chapter - he is not a sue jerk prep trolls!!!"


• Cinema Verite (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck didn't understand, so O'Neill continued. 'A fifteen second loop of Tiffany Blum-Deckler applying mascara, repeated over and over for an hour is not a movie.' 'Mr. O'Neill...that's not a loop repeated over and over.'"


• Daria meets ME, by Roentgen (parts 1 - 3): "To be blunt, I never liked the inhabitants of Lawndale that much. It was a white-bread middle class community. If some sort of Marxist wanted to condemn the petty-mindedness of the bourgeoisie she couldn't have chosen a better example than Lawndale." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Daria's Voyager (Ep 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "In her Ready Room, Captain Morgendorffer was talking to her fiancé over subspace. 'The doctor called.' 'And?' 'I was right.'"


• DW: The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "'SGC, do you read?' Mitchell asked. 'We read you, Colonel,' Landry said. 'We’re going to bring the TARDIS back through the gate. Be prepared for possible high speed impact, sir.'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 17b): "The awkwardness was broken up by Kris’s interruption to draw attention to a rusty old junker pulling up. 'He doesn't care how he looks.' As the driver emerged, Dylan said, 'Uncle Andy?'"


• The Execution (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "'And what would be the purpose of this little midnight stroll?' asked Daria as she folded her arms. The knight smiled without mirth and backhanded her with his gauntlet backed hands. He motioned to his followers, and two of them roughly grabbed the stunned woman and half walked, half dragged her, to the cathedral."



• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (part 5): "Jane walked home thinking about all that had happened. She was worried about Daria. The girl had basically lost her entire family in one night. Daria was holding it together, but she knew her friend was repressing real bad and once the dam bust some needed to be there."


• Jodie and the Hot Tub (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Hmmm...' Jodie moaned as she slid into the bubbling hot tub, her nude form relishing the frothing liquid, 'This is what I needed.'" (Continued by Silver)


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 11.3): "Jake awoke in a hospital in Oakwood two days after the accident, thirsty and hurting from a dozen different places we hadn’t remembered they existed since the hellish years of military school."


• Mrs. Johanssen's New Look... (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It was supposed to be a relaxing night out for the Cynical Duo, Daria and Jane."


• A Need to Check (Iron Chef: Party at Casa Lane), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Simple. I have a nifty little maxim. Freshman year: setting the bar. Sophomore year: still setting the bar.' With each tier of the academic system being namedropped, she extended her hands further. 'Junior year: maintaining the bar. Senior year...' and here she clapped her hands together with a thunderous force, 'YOLO.'"


• Tiffanyzilla (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane watch the news, regular not Sick Sad, and it's very watchable since it was a live feed of a 65 and a half foot tall Tiffany Blum-Deckler rampaging through downtown Tokyo, shooting fireballs out of her mouth, and destroying buildings with flicks of her hands."


• A Universal History of Annoyance: The Twice-Unmarried Empress, Theodora (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "The woman of whom I now write is a different Theodora, born into the purple as the youngest daughter of Constantine VIII. Little is written of this Theodora’s earliest days, the historians seeing only her father’s endless furies, a man forever shadowed by emperors greater than he." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Sheldon Quotation Theorem), by Staren (COMPLETE!): "Ted walked up while Daria was in the middle of sorting out economics worksheets when he came up, so she could be forgiven for the spectacular mass of papers that found there way on the floor when she processed what he asked."



• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Demon-Something (COMPLETE!): "An abrupt ring of a cheap cell-phone jolted Daria Morgendorffer from a nice enough sleep. She let out a groan and threw the sheets back and reached onto the bedside table to her right. Daria picked up the phone with a sigh, despite the clock reading 2:13 in the morning. 'Heeeeeeey, amiga,' Jane slurred into the phone, tipsy off something Daria couldn't immediately recognize, 'I totally wanted to talk about sum'thin, y'know?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Hi, mi name is Duharea Mizeree Meluncoliee Morjanduffer. I have kewl red hur tht gos 2 mi shouldrs and brwn eyes lyk choculat."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by percussivemaintenance (COMPLETE!): "Once there was a girl name daria morningsnorer she was cool an sarcasm! she had brownish red hare that was kol and kol bangs and glass her glassare hot and round!"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "daria went and made a spell that gave all the other peeples at hugwars ice cream and they all said yay and they ate the ice cream but then a gigantic spaceship flew out of nowhere and it was anakin skywalker wos culer than luke and he said the darak side is here i must destroy it and hten he want and killed snape becayse he was bads."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "i fel uhslip n i woak up n i foun miself in lawndael n i tuk a luk at miself n i realeyesed "wholey crap (shit iz a no-no wrd), i cartoon;'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "COMMON SENSE COMES AT YOU REALLY FAST! (Daria is walking home, and as she approaches her house, she sees Tom parked in front, At that very moment A Driver pulls before she gets to Tom) THE DRIVER: (in a New Hyundai) Get in."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by mac (COMPLETE!): "Yes, thought Daria, compared to everyone else I've met at Lawndale so far, Jane seems like the best choice for an acquaintance, if not a friend."



• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Hey,' Jane said to her brother as she walked into the living room. Trent was staring wide-eyed at the TV. 'Trent? You okay? Did one of those spinning circles come on?' 'No, Janie. I just saw Reefer Madness. Man, weed can really mess you up.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Walking into the backyard to find a nice, cool spot to read, Daria saw Quinn crouching next to a pipe with a tin cup and a shovel. She had obviously been digging a hole. What the cup was for, Daria couldn't determine."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck noticed someone behind him. It was Daria. 'Ahhhh!!' he cried when he noticed her. 'OhGodOhGod pleasedonthurtmeI'msorry!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Dar-eeee-uhhhhh! Time to wake up....' Daria tried to do that. Her eyes slowly opened to an industrial hell. She tried to push herself upright, but couldn't move her arms. Her eyes shot down, widening at the sight of the straitjacket."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane sat on Jane's bed, watching TV and eating junk food as on any other day. Trent wandered in, reached down and snagged a cookie from an open pack. He took a bite and grimaced at the flavor."


• We All Scream (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Kevin, there is no way this can possibly work out in our favor.' 'C'mon, Mack Daddy! You said that if we wanted to edge out the competition, we had to be individidual or something like that.'"


• The World is Yours (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Jane,' asked Daria, 'did you ever get the feeling you were being watched?'"

Has Peanut Butter Hijacked Your Brain?

Happy National Peanut Butter Day! While Daria and Jane decide how best to dispose of that antique peanut butter sandwich, Jake will delight us all with his special Thai peanut sauce...oh, never mind. The squirrels got him.

Fandom News!

• Kara Wild is seeking advice on the Contrarian's Corner/the-wildone.com.


• Remember to vote for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! See the lists of nominations in the thread.


• LadieTAG and TAG want to visit other people in fandom. Tell them why they should come see you!


• Own a part of Trent Lane! Find out how (and it's probably not what you think) in the thread.


• J-D is wondering what you would think about this scenario.


• Share your favorite WTF moments in kids' cartoon series.


• percussivemaintenance posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: You're Standing on My Immortal.

A Feisty Barbarian!

Happy birthday to the late Robert E. Howard, creator of the character Conan the Barbarian. Howard, born in 1906, probably had something a little more fearsome than Upchuck in mind.

Fanfic Update!

• Across Space (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood up, straightened her uniform, and spoke. 'Romulan vessel, this is Captain Daria Charles, of the Federation Starship USS Charlestown. You're well into Federation space and you better have a damn good reason for being here.'"


• The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 3): "'What were ya readin', anyway?' Applejack asked. 'Musta been pretty interestin'. Some new history o' magic book, or somethin'?' 'No, nothing like that,' Twilight answered. 'It was--' She trailed off as she realized what she was about to say. Applejack noted the change in Twilight's mood. 'Twi? You okay?' she asked."


• And On That Day it Ended, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "It had not been a chance meeting. She had come home to visit her parents, perchance see old friends. He had been there waiting for her, perched on the doorstep. His flannel shirt and dark denim pants had thrown her at first, as with his thicker build and very alert eyes. Then he had smiled, and she had seen the boy she had known all those years ago. It was a sweet reunion."


• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 1): "The last thing that Daria saw as she breathed her last was a picture of herself in High School, standing next to Jane in front of her old high school... There was darkness, a brief sense of nothingness, then a flash of white light. Then everything came into focus."


• Bromwell or Bust, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "She tore open the envelope, lips moving silently as she read the letter. Finally, it hit home and she sank to her knees, tears leaking from her eyes: She would not be going to Bromwell."


• A Child of the Acorn, by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Jake viewed himself in the living room mirror. He exuded a ruddy vanity as he applied the last of the war paint to his cheek and tied the green bandana around his head, fitting perfectly with his camouflage outfit. An amateur Rambo among suburban men, he supposed."


• Club Crisis (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The club was jumpin' and the beat was thumpin' and all the attractive young people wearing little were getting funky - except Artie, who shouldn't have really been there - when something changed in the air. Literally."


• Daria and Jane: On Gun Protests (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'Say Daria, you think these rednecks will figure out that America will never ban guns?'"



• Daria the Unicorn (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The Cynical Duo were walking to school as per the script when Jane turned to her bitter friend and asked out of the blue, 'Say Daria, what was the most embarrassing thing you ever did to your parents?'"


• Fallout Runaway Mirror (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by Vukodlak (part 1): "They were calling it the crossover. One day you'd be strolling along and you'd run into yourself from an alternate world, time who knew. So far they had calculated the existence of at least 967 alternate realities. The person would come and then after hours, day's maybe weeks return home as if nothing had happened. They called these people The Visitors or AU's"


• Going Buckwild (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'We gonna have ourselves a ball too-night!' Daria shouted from the driver's seat. She straightened out her Daisy Dukes, pulled her pigtails taut, and gripped the wheel with flying vigor. This was going to be one hell of a night."


• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (part 4): "'Tom this is John Doe it has been taken care of. I will meet you at the agreed meeting spot,' he said. 'Good I will have your reward,” Tom said."


• How DeMartino and DeFoe Got Together, by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "The small smile on her face at the good deed she was doing for the rest of us slipped from her face as she saw me about to destroy her chimes. She gently lowered the tray onto the table and said, 'good afternoon Anthony,' before she started to walk out of the room. That is when I decided that I was going to be a complete idiot. I jumped off the table and said, 'why did you have to bring in this damn thing?'"


• Jagged Little Pill (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Jake scrolled down his inbox. Funny how some new-fangled system comes out with all the junk from the last one, times twenty, he thought."


• Life is Like T-Rex, by -sam (COMPLETE!): "'"First, I would like thank you all for coming in. Second, I am reminding all of you that this briefing is classified Top Secret, so no running off to our friends at the Prophet. Now with that out of the way, the Auror Office has reason to believe the Death Eater Jason Thomas Harris is going to attempt an attack on the Hogwarts Express when it returns from Hogsmeade.'" (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22) (Part 23) (Part 24) (Part 25) (Part 26) (Part 27) (Part 28) (Part 29)


• Mad Dog V.S.........., by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Millhouse (Mad Dog) Morgendorffer had his prey in his sights: a small horse across the plains."


• The Market (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "She was perusing the wares of a traveling merchant, and James could not take his eyes from her."



• Reflection In A Bright Shop Window (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Her reflection in the shop window was her, but not her. The woman reflected in the shop window was a few years older, late twenties maybe. Instead of her usual red shirt, black shorts and boots she wore a beautiful fifties sea green dress tightly nipped in at the waist before flowing out wide, a white scarf on her neck and a pair of heels so high Jane had no idea how she was still standing."


• TDJS CH.4 Boston Baby!, by ST91 (parts 1 and 2): "Helen awoke with a start, sweating and her heart pounding. 'Helen are you okay?' Asked a worried Jake. Helen gasped for a few seconds then said, 'Yeah Jake ... I'm fine. It was just a nightmare.'" (Part 2)


• Through the Fire and Flames (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Well, men,' he started, casually removing cotton balls from his ears, 'that was terrible. And this is coming from someone who forces his guests to listen to "Baby" on an infinite loop.' His voice, while inhumanly deep, retained a crisp tinge of humor in its malice. 'Let me introduce myself. I am Satan. I suppose it seems pretty obvious what I'm going to do next.'"


• Trents Night Off, by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "So here I am, sprawled out on the couch, the first flick with a bald guy clutching a handgun I found in Lackluster video playing on the screen, a six-pack of watery brown liquid that calls itself beer and a bag of generic chips close at hand. And most important, a pipe full of a subtle blend of Rusty Venture and Purple Joy ready to be lit. That is why I reacted a tad poorly when the door slammed open and the sounds of heavy boots striking the threadbare entryway."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Funhouse Mirror Time (AU Crossovers with Canon)), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "It was so FRUSTRATING! They were so CLOSE! How dare the committee pull their funding at this crucial moment. They'd be able to work out the bugs in the system soon, she was sure of it! If they'd only let her try a human subject, from inside someone would be able to control..."



• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Quinn took a sip of water, and turned to her fellow Fashion Club member. 'Your momma's such a ho, your dad asked mine if he was watching Entertainment Tonight, and my dad said "right after you leave for midnight bowling!"'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Lord Voldemort,' she cooed, 'Give me some lovin' with that snake-face of yours!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The size nine steel toed boot crashed into the face of Dan Hibiki. It had, like many of Daria's attacks in the last few minutes, caught him mid-taunt."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'You have no idea how long I've been waiting to share these moments with you, Daria,' she said, a weak smile entering her expression. 'Without you, I was just another idiot girl gallivanting all over the countryside. But I'm not. Now that I have you.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Jake looked at the scattered metallic devices lining the family driveway. His smile waxed despotic at his creation. Do-it-yourself squirrel traps, he thought. Let's see the little bastards get out of these.."


• Want, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "I think I may be in love. At least I think that is the term I should be using. I want to be around her as much as I can. I want to hear her voice whenever she speaks. I want to be there whenever she needs a hug or shoulder to cry on. Yes. I believe I am in love with her."


• We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (part 14): "I am Quinn and she is mine her body is mine and my own we have shared nothing we have lost everything Lawndale La Cueva Highland Lawndale reborn they appear in front of my eyes in the land of Morpheus and everything is one the one with the scars the weak one the smart one the rebellious one the supportive one we are same and unalike I am a freak I am not unique I am unique I am Daria her face is mine I turned like a coward I am who I am our hearts beat in tandem"

Be Especially Aware of the Fashionable Penguins

Happy Penguin Awareness Day! Look! A penguin! Be aware of it!

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Italian film director Federico Fellini, born on this day in 1920. Fellini is best known within Daria because of the infamous film festival in "Fire!" that kicked off Jane's suspicion of Tom and Daria. Oh, Fellini. You don't even know what chaos you caused.

Fandom News!

• The lists of nominated visual works and written works are up. Time to get your votes in for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• percussivemaintenance is making fandom famous! Find out how in the thread.


• See where MartinUK is visiting next and let him know if you can meet him there.


• PrecambrianStudios has an idea for creating a Daria audio show.


• Discuss an oversight in the episode "Monster" as pointed out by J-D.


• Shiva posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Party at Casa Lane.

Media Shout Out!

An article in Animation Magazine discussed Daria and Is It College Yet? on this day in 2002. The writeup was much more complimentary than Val ever was. Check it out to see what Glenn Eichler had to say.

Fanfic Update!

• Dylan, by J-D (part 17a): "When Rod had shut the front door behind him, Dylan went through to the kitchen. His parents were both taking a pull at their respective drinks, so Kris spoke first. 'Cousin Edwin's getting married. Twenty-one's too young to be fitted with a ball and chain.'"


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 1): "As she came to a stoplight, Linda saw something a little further down the street on the left side. Sitting in the front parking lot of one of the town's cheap motels, was Jake's car."


• Guilt, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Oh boy kiddos! Can you believe it! Berlin!' Jake cried joyously to the night, as various Germans stared at him like he was a lost puppy. 'I can't wait to try out the jelly doughnuts!'"


• Love at the Time of Cynicism (Iron Chef: Throughout The Ages), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer walked disconsolately in the park of Liverpool. She had just learned that her father had been planning, for a long time, her betrothal. It's not fair, she thought as she walked through the trees, it is not right. What right do they have to decide my life?"


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic : Part 2, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "By the time Chancellor Li had summoned the town council and leading Guildsmen to a meeting to report on the true events of the day it was really too late. The story had stretched and grown until it bore little or no relationship to the facts. One word was now spoken not just with awe but with abject terror: Hellsbane!"


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic : Part 3, by peetz5050 (part 1): "It was their captain, the kinetic, that interested her though. He was her classmate, Michael (Mack) of Clan Mackenzie. He was also one of the students earmarked for her to give special instruction to, a potential archmage. He did indeed have some skill."



• RA Holiday Special : The Holidays are just Crazy!, by DIsaac (part 12): "DANI: OK, she has officially lost her ever loving mind! JUDY: Strangely, this isn't the worst. You should have seen her after that Brett Strand guy broke up with her. (Car speeds up again) DANI: (nervously) Stacy, this isn't NASCAR. STACY: Sorry, but the daily allowance of f**ks that I give has been reached for the day. Try again tomorrow."


• The Ravaged Land, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 and 2): "Either the pilot really sucks, or something was in the complimentary soda, Daria thought as she sat down next to Jake in the plane seat. She looked out the window: fog obscured any possible view of the ground." (Part 2)


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 4): "'O.K., Jane, it starts out the usual way: selected members of our faculty interview promising applicants interested in Dream Psychology and push the Breede experience for all its worth. The kids ask us all the usual earnest generic questions about our department which we answer with profound sounding wordlike noises. After 15 minutes of such scripted reassurance, It's our turn to ask the questions and decide if they're going to get in.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Lyrical Endings), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria picked up her phone. 'Speak quickly.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Jane held the banana in her hand with a hungry curiosity. 'What should we do with it?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Decked out in a waitress' outfit, along with Jane, Quinn, and Jodie, Daria grumbled, 'I can't believe I'm doing this.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The ocean stretched out to the ends of the earth and beyond, the ripples cascading into the distance with each gust of wind. Intelligence, however, stretched merely to the middle of the raft, as Daria and Kevin found themselves stranded on the briny."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "As Daria passed by Quinn's room, something struck her as...odd. The normal study in regurgitated pink was replaced by a dim light emanating from the darkness. One focus of the eyes later, she discovered the source. Quinn sat at her computer, all but engrossed by whatever she was looking at."


• We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (part 13): "'Pops! Where'd you put my medication!' Gage called from the kitchen inside Harris Studios. He furiously searched around the cabinetry, which only made his headache worse. Dammit, where the hell is it? I know I put it somewhere on the counter...."

The Rrrowring Twenties

On this day in 1919, the Eighteenth Amendment was ratified. This signaled the start of Prohibition the following year, which ended drinking in the U.S. forever. Ha. Fortunately for old timey bartended Upchuck, as far as I can tell drinking became even more popular than ever.

Today is also National Nothing Day, which we observe by...doing nothing, I suppose.

...

There. Holiday observed. You're welcome.

Fandom News!

• Roentgen wonders about the ages of Sam and Chris Griffin during the series.


• If Daria was re-cast, who would be in it? Wouter asks for everyone's thoughts on voice actors.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: PrecambrianStudios's The Sheldon Quotation Theorem and SinisterExaggerator's One Line at a Time.


• breitasparrow has an announcement about her commissions.

Looking Back, Eleven Years Ago

It was on this day in 2002 that the special "Look Back in Annoyance" aired on MTV. It was, in Daria's words, "a cheap-ass clip show," but we did get a few fun tidbits like Daria's fling with 'N Sync and Jane's aspirations of working at Disney.

Be sure to nominate for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! Time is almost up!

Fanfic Update!

• Blue's Reflection, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "She stared at her reflection, her blue eyes having acquired wisdom during the whirlwind that was her career, her blond hair flowing down, the elaborate stage makeup having been cast aside for the moment."


• A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (part 3): "Dorothy looked around and quietly said, 'Why were you here and where have you gone?' 'Who was here?' Daria asked. That caught Dorothy's attention. 'Somebody I used to know in my younger days – much younger.'"


• Daria's Voyager, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Daria Morgendorffer, I served with your father on the Al-Batani. I wonder if we could go somewhere and talk.' 'About What?' 'About a job we'd like you to do for us,' the Captain asked. Sarcasm showed heavily in her tone."


• Daughters of Lies (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Witches are bad, right?' Old Man McGrundy stared at the youth for a moment, then sat on his log with a weary sigh. 'And where did you hear that, girl?' The blond opened her mouth to respond, but was preempted. 'From your father, no doubt.'"



• The Divine Cynic, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "Gods? Huh. How about that. And I'm a half-god. That probably comes with some perks. Now if only this dream could go on forever. However, why would my dreams include Quinn?"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 16): "Coach sighed. 'Kris, if you flunk Language Arts there's nothing we can do to keep you on the team.' 'Then we just have to make sure I don't flunk Language Arts, right? You can have a word with Ms FitzPatrick, right?'"


• Heroes and Villains Part One: The Incident, by Reven384 (part 2): "'The less you know the better,' John Doe said, 'But don't worry the only people who know you are involved are me and those guys who were chasing you. So if you want me to get to them in time to help you should leave me be. I promise you when this is over no one will know what happened tonight and you can just live your life.'"


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic : Part 2, by peetz5050 (parts 10 and 11): "'Lady Daria is correct, there was an archmage among our foes though I cannot distinguish one mage from another based on their magics alone.' Anthony added." (Part 11)


• The Night Helen Saved Christmas, by Aloysius (part 4): "A raven-haired young woman clothed only in a black, hip-length satin robe stretched out on the bed and yawned. Then she sighed as she propped herself up and sipped from an opened bottle of Coca-Cola. She said, 'Dammit, Jake, did you really think that she'd still be pining for you? It's been more than a year since you dumped her, you know.'"


• Quinn's Code 07: The Grounded Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Time for gaming then.' she thought. However as she turned on the X-Box, there was sudden burst of music and the house vibrated. She knew what it was; Daria playing her music with the amplifiers turned up to the highest settings. Very annoying."


• TDJS Ch.3 Kung-fu party, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Although Helen had told him to call for any special needs, Dario felt the jitters grow as he approached Lawndale High. Instinctively, he took Jane's hand who, noting her boyfriend's growing nervousness,squeezed his hand reassuringly. 'Don't worry, I'm sure that nothing will happen and if anything does, I'll be by your side.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Sheldon Quotation Theorem), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, hey, Daria,' she started, 'could you help me out with something? I desperately need some wood right now.'"


• We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 11 and 12): "Jake uttered a moan, which suddenly turned into a scream. 'Yow! My eyes! Helen, I'm blind!' Helen peered at them.'Oh dear, Jake. You burst your blood vessels in both of them. Again.' Daria whispered to her twin, 'You mind getting the camera?' 'Yes, I do, actually.' 'Fine. Damn you.'" (Part 12)


• What The Photographer Did (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "The doorbell rang. Erin Chambers, wearing her wedding gown, days away from her vow renewal, happily and energetically bounced up from her couch and answered the door to her apartmen. A blond, bespectacled young man in a blue polo shirt stood on her porch. He was holding a camera."

Still Better than Bing and the Spatula Man

Happy birthday to radio personality Howard Stern, born on this day in 1954. I'm not convinced Jesse is the most appropriate person to impersonate the shock jock, though, since Stern is known for saying things that are rude and controversial and Jesse is known for saying, well, "cool." And sometimes "Yeah." I suppose I could see Jesse getting on the air just so he could air Mystik Spiral songs, though.

Fandom News!

• Nominate your picks for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! Have you nominated yet? How about now? Or now? Done yet?


• Deref discusses the fires in his part of Australia.


• Whatever happened to the Paperpusher? Roentgen is wondering.


• CR85747 considers whether Daria is a left-brain or a right-brain.


• Daria got a mention on an episode of The Soup. Check it out!


• Kem asks for people's thoughts about the Oscar nominees.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: CR85747's Iron Chef Iron Chef, Roentgen's Perfumes based on Daria characters, and JoeMerl's Random Pairing Challenge!.

Find a Hallmark Card for That!

Today is Houseplant Appreciation Day! Time to show your houseplants how much you care about them, perhaps simply by watering them. (This is not recommended if your houseplants are plastic.)

Have you nominated for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards? If not, why not? What, are you chicken or something?

Fanfic Update!

• The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 2): "I wonder who else he wrote into his stories? Maybe I could just take a quick peek. No, Twilight! You swore you wouldn't intrude on his privacy again. Leave it alone!"


• At the Dinner Table (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Daria how was school today?' Helen asked while setting down the roast beef she had lovingly prepared for her lovely family."


• A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (part 2): "After the man fled, Dorothy turned and saw Daria. Eyes still lit with anger at the other employee, she said, 'I will not tolerate people hiding things from me.' Caught a little off-guard, Daria said, 'I completely agree.'"


• The Divine Cynic, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "The first thing Daria felt as she awoke was a pounding headache. When she opened her eyes, she found that her glasses were gone and that she laid in a very comfy bed, that just so happened to be located in an infirmary."


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic : Part 2, by peetz5050 (parts 8 and 9): "Steven smiled back and said. 'Lady Daria, it is an honor to make your acquaintance. I just a short while ago had the privilege of welcoming your sister, Lady Quinn, and her escort, Lord Geoffrey of House Dawmare, please proceed indoors out of this chill, my daughter is eagerly awaiting your company. Please, everyone, come inside.' Steven noticed that even though Lord Trent was quick to offer his arm to Lady Daria he seemed somewhat distant and perhaps even cold in his expression." (Part 9)



• A New Beginning, by LadieTAG (part 7): "Quinn stared at her sister for several moments. She saw the sadness mixed with kindness and hope in the older girl's eyes. Then, she realized that this was the first time in almost decade that she had seen her sister. Not just a decade, the first time ever."


• President Sue Bee (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Mein People!' President Sue bellowed into her microphone, 'The time is at hand for a NEW and GLORIOUS SOCIETY!'"


• RA Holiday Special : The Holidays are just Crazy!, by DIsaac (part 11): "JANE: Didn't your family do Thanksgiving? JESSE: Me and my sis try to avoid it. Besides, we do Christmas big in our family. JANE: Aren't you NOT avoiding it by being here? JESSE: I'm here for moral support... And pie. Mostly pie."


• Rocky Horror? (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, Daria, just sit still for a moment here.' Jane could no longer take Daria's complaints about not being able to hear her. 'One...two...three!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared at the thing in the vat in curiosity. 'That's me.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Brain Camper (COMPLETE!): "[Daria puts her head on the shoulder of the girl next to her] Daria: I love you."


• The Walking Dead: The Tale of Lori, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Lori's breath caught in her throat. A small girl in a nightgown clutching a stuffed bear emerged from behind one of the derelict vehicles. Her head down, she quietly shuffled in the opposite direction. Lori considered for a moment calling out to the girl, but thought to herself, I can't let anyone drag me down. And the girl is probably one of them. It's time to go, Lori."


• We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (part 10.5): "'Do either of you want a future?! What you two did could be seen by colleges for the rest of your lives! It's going to take me months to-' 'To what, mom?' Daria inquired flatly. 'Do you intend to punish us by having us exonerated by the legal system?'"

"See something you like or just browsing?"

Happy Male Watcher's Day! Jane is celebrating with great enthusiasm, but I suspect Daria would not join her.

Also, happy birthday to the late (or is he?) Elvis Presley, born on this day in 1935. Whether you're a fan of Young Elvis, Old Elvis, or the bird from "It Happened One Nut," let's all take a moment to wish The King a good one--wherever he is.

Fandom News!

• You still have one week left to nominate for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards. What are you waiting for?


• Kara Wild outlines the board policy for "hard swearing" and YouTube videos.


• Jeremy Garrett has a question about the Daria IRC chatrooms.


• Share your biggest disappointments in gaming in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Wouter posted a new Iron Chef in the Easel: 57 channels and nothing on...

Awwwww!

Jake and Helen certainly look cozy together, because today is Cuddle Up Day! So go ahead and snuggle with anyone or anything you like. Daria will probably choose a book.

Today is also the day that Joan of Arc is often presumed to have been born in 1412. I wouldn't recommend cuddling up to her, though, as things could get a little warmer than you might like.

Please remember to nominate your favorite fanfics and art for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! If you don't nominate, who will?

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (part 10): "I look across her stance, from that determined face to those taut, slim arms and her flat stomach. Now she's put some weight on and lost that gauntness she has a body that most girls would kill for and almost immediately that familiar prickle of shame runs through my stomach for looking at her like that. I hope to God she never finds out what a low life scumbag I am."


• The Affectations of Nicholas Nebula, by Boz-pot (part 1): "Nicholas Neville Nigel Nebula, known as 'Hildebrand' by his parents, was twenty-nine years old. He disliked his pet-name, but disliked even more the long alliterative name with which his father, who was ob­sessed with what he called 'The Number N', had chosen to christen him. "


• The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 1): "Twilight Sparkle had a dilemma. It wasn't a large dilemma, exactly. The fate of Equestria wasn't at stake, nor did the lives of innocent ponies hang in the balance. It wasn't that kind of dilemma. It was a dilemma much worse than that."


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 2): "Striding in with Daria was a girl with short cut black hair, ear piercings, red lipstick, a black shirt that was mostly covered by a red lab coat, shorts with black leggings, and combat boots. 'Hi Daria!' Stacy said as they approached, Kristen and Cindy wore twin facial expressions of surprise at seeing Lawndale's resident loner, Jane Lane in the company of another human being."


• Daria's World, by baelparagon (part 1): "'I think I'll do fine dad, though I don't know if others will see it that way. See you dad.' As Daria walked off Jake was happy to pull away and get lost in his usual oblivious haze at his daughters positive words. A small part of him couldn't shake the cold effect his daughter still had on him, but this part as always was ignored along with reality."



• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 2), by oni (COMPLETE!): "Meeting eyes with Quinn, Sandi recognized the calm facial mask that Quinn was putting on display to her right then since it was the very look the she herself wore most of the time at school. 'God, she's pissed,' Sandi thought to herself before trying to talk. 'Quinn... look, I'm,' she closed her eyes for a moment and let out a strained sigh, '...Sorry, ok? I know I shouldn't have snapped at you like that but I was angry.'"


• Go Long (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Ahem.' Kevin looked up. It was Anthony DeMartino, looking at him. 'Oh. Hi, Mr. D. Or...Anthony...or whatever the hell. I mean, you're not my teacher...not anymore...so I guess I can call you what I want to, huh?'"


• Got a Little Captain In Ya? (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria was forced back into the waking world since there was an inconsiderate jackass beating on her skull."


• Heroes and Villains, by Reven384 (parts 1 and 2): "It was just another night for the students of Lawndale high. They never paid any mind to the large truck that was about to pass them bye until the explosion knocked them to the ground. All four girls screamed as a purple gas filled the air enveloping them." (Part 2)


• RA Holiday Special : The Holidays are just Crazy!, by DIsaac (parts 9 and 10): "JANE: Corny? But corny and holidays go together! MACK: Well, it starts corny. And then the boards games comes out and everybody get competitive. JANE: How competitive? MACK: So competitive that we don't bring up Jenga since that controversial game a couple of years ago. They said my brother, Jermaine... Jane, no Jackson jokes..." (Part 10)


• Sandi's Fate (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "On the dark streets of Atlantic City, a pair of twenty something bitter cynics were driving down a road, snarking the hell about the hookers on display."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked up through the tittering laughter directed at her from several points in the room, and fixed the offending speaker with a look that made Eric take two steps back from the table."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, I'd like you to meet Justin Bieber. Justin, this is Daria Morgendorffer.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at her grandfather, and her grandfather looked at her. Nine years old and judging him. How dare she?"



• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Jane smiled, briefly, and then pulled the silenced Colt out of her jacket. 'I don't think I heard that right. Did you say "I'm your bitch, Miss Lane"?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Daria unwrapped the birthday present from Jane and looked into the box."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "The conversation between siblings was suddenly brought to an end when Trent and Jane turned to look at the door to their house as it swung open."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Can you believe it, Sandi?' Quinn said. 'I found a bottle of crappy wine in my sister's room. I think she's becoming an alky!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, I kissed Tom.' Graham said as he approached the artsy girl."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria stirred. Her elbow bumped the near-empty bottle of Captain Morgan's Spiced, which in turned tumbled off the bed. Her head throbbed with the excess of liquor, and she opened her eyes as far as she could without the light being painful."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The Washington State forest was aglow with the pale forms of Edward Cullen and family, friends, and lover (because at this point, polygamy would sort of compromise the whole 'sacrificing one's humanity' pact)."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Tom sighed happily and held Daria's still form closer."


• When A Daria Meets A Mary Sue (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Many years later, Daria would look upon MS Day with a mixture of feelings that she would then proceed to wash down with a fifth of vodka, regardless of where she was and what she was doing."

Not Just a Good Idea...It's the Law!

Happy birthday to the late Sir Isaac Newton, born on this day in 1643. Newton had many achievements and accomplishments, but he was best known for formulating his theory of gravity. Bad news for Sandi. Good news for Stacy.

On the bright side, now Roger won't be quite so lonely on that cow.

Fandom News!

• The 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards need your nominations! Go on--you know you want to! And don't forget that the deadline is January 15th.


• Learn about and discuss the gigantic Aeroscraft in a new thread.


• Discuss an article about the show Knightmare.


• PrecambrianStudios has a question regarding non-Daria fanfics.

Cynic from Another Planet

Today is National Science Fiction Day, celebrated on this day in honor of author Isaac Asimov's birthday. Daria's getting into the spirit of things, although this won't help those "atomic Communist from Mars" rumors.

Don't forget to nominate for the 2012 Daria Fanworks Awards! The deadline is January 15th.

Fanfic Update!

• A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (part 1): "Going around her desk, Dorothy also sat down, while letting one hand rest on a wood and glass case set on the wall. Inside the case was a worn leather jacket covered with patches, including a prominent 'A' centered on the back. Dorothy looked across the desk and said, 'Welcome to A Charitable Earth.'"


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 1): "Stacy used the rear-view mirror to check on her big sister, in her combat boots, ratty jeans, black Nine Inch Nails shirt, glasses, but nicely combed auburn hair. She unknowingly returned Daria's smirk from earlier and thought once again, 'God my sister's cool.'"


• DW: The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 11): "The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS. 'What happened, everyone got captured?' he asked. 'Yes, we all put up a fight, but they were all captured,' Daniel said. 'We were lucky to escape!' Lana said. 'Right, one rescue party coming up!' the Doctor said."


• Dylan, by J-D (parts 15c and 15d): "When they asked the man behind the counter about the shark, he pointed to a display case that housed only one huge tooth. 'What?!' exclaimed Rod, and Dylan could see that he was working himself up into a synthetic burst of outrage, the kind that Dylan recalled so well from their memorable trip to the Mall of the Millennium. He grabbed his friend by the sleeve and whispered in his ear." (Part 15d)


• Forever Together, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "The years had passed and it showed. Her face was furrowed by deep wrinkles and her hair, once black as pitch, had turned white as snow. Only her eyes had kept the same shade of sapphire blue they had when she was young."



• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 8), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "'You must be mistaken,' Quinn said, trying not to cave. 'Why do I do that?' 'I'm not mistaken!' Linda said. 'You are!' Nicole dared. 'I'm not mistaken. There is damage to my house and my sons both said that you were there!' Linda said."


• Luna and the Moose, by Erin M. (part 5): "He snorted and stood up straight, straightening his vest. Time (and moose, apparently) waited for no pony. Less than three hours until dawn, with no guarantee the ambassador wouldn't show up unexpectedly early. He let out another sigh and turned to head for the west tower."


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic, part 2, by peetz5050 (part 7): "Lady Quinn, wearing a travelling cloak, stepped forward first and dipped her a curtsey. 'Lady Joanna.' She began. 'Forgive me but I must depart. I have a prior invitation to attend dinner at the home of Lady Tio-Fan. I tried to get out of it because I wished to meet you properly and get to know you but you know what Royalty is like, she would not be gainsaid. She orders us around like servants sometimes I don't know who she thinks she is! It's not like she's even a member of our Royal family! But she...' 'Quinn!'"


• Musical Theater, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So, The Hobbit beat out Django Unchained and Les Miserables!' Daria sat up from her comfy chair in the middle of the commons area. 'Why would you care about that, Quinn?'"


• My New Nemesis, by Brain Camper (part 2): "Jane: Is that makeup or has 'The Infamous Thing' kept you up again? Daria, in a low, tired tone: Yeah, I borrowed makeup from Quinn just so you would ask me that question."


• The Night Helen Saved Christmas, by Aloysius (part 3): "The first children had been bused in, and it wasn't quite what Steve expected. He had braced himself for a bunch of running, screaming kids - a bunch of brats, truthfully - but these kids came in slowly, very few walking under their own power. Several were in wheelchairs, and a couple used walkers. Children using walkers?, he thought. Good Lord, what happened to them?"


• One (More) Little Thing, by peetz5050 (parts 21 and 22): "'Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and get rid of that, we need to talk!' Jake looked at her, then down at his glass, then back at her. 'Slainte!' He said and downed the whiskey. 'There, all gone. What is it now? I paid those bills as we agreed, I haven't forgotten anything.'" (Part 22)


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 11.2): "The worst part was that, as far as her body was concerned, the exercises he recommended were far more challenging that she expected. She was weak, and that was going to be a problem that she would need to live for a while until she could condition this new body to the old one's standards."


• RA Holiday Special : The Holidays are just Crazy!, by DIsaac (part 8): "JODIE: You two have no morals. ALISON: What are morals? MELODY: I'm a politician. We don't even know what word is. Does it have a creamy center?"


• The Remember That They All Served Affair, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Julia was caught between an abject state of awe and near-total embarrassment as she recognized all three of the men standing with the Legion Advisor – the two speaking to her, from her independent studies work at Quantico during her time as a Cadet Second Class, and the last - from her roommate Sherrie Klein's work, as she built a cornucopia of different tech-devices; lately, for medical purposes..."



• Undying Love part 2, by BrownEyedBagel (part 2): "Mad Dog was enjoying what he was seeing. All he saw was scores of people who were willing to take up arms and use them without regret or remorse in defense of their loved ones. It brought back some fond memories of his time in the military."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Armed Teachers), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Defoe withdrew something from her cabinet and displayed it to the class, some of whom suddenly tensed: an 18th century musket."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Daria slowly started to leave the room with a grim resolve. She looked at Jane and sighed heavily. All the hard work and planning; all the laughter and tears and everything in between ripped apart by one lone incident."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "She smelled what was happening a nano second before her ears registered the sounds. A familiar siren song for anyone that lived among the rock n' roll set."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "As Daria and Tom exited the pharmacy card section, they looked down to notice a magazine strewn upon the floor. As they perused the pictures inside, the subject matter soon became clear."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "She tried moving her arms. With a thud, she hit...something. If some cosmic entity is playing games with me, she thought, he has my sense of humor. But if Dante is to be trusted, they're not tricksters as much as they are incinerators."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by LadieTAG (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Jane - can you hand me that book over there?' Daria asked pointing at the rather large book sitting on her nightstand."


• What's Going On?, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane wasn't quite sure at first what the hell was going on, even after she downed three pots of coffee (and leaving the teacher's lounge quite barren of that special liquid) and rubbed her eyes very hard."


• Worldhopper: Ring Shadow, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "He hung up the phone and looked around his command post. 'It's out of our hands, now. If any of you want to pray, this would be a good time.'" (Part 7)