The Cask of Canned Peaches

The Morgendorffers and the Landons have the right idea for National Eat Outside Day, but I hope that they notice one of the Morgendorffers is not outside. In fact, she isn't eating, either, unless she finds a can opener soon.

If Daria wants to sue for wrongful imprisonment, she should contact her mother and be extra nice because it's Love Litigating Lawyers Day! Helen can sometimes be difficult to love, but there's no denying she is an awesome attorney.

Daria and Jane made an appearance in an installment of "The New Adventures of Bobbin" on this day in 2001. The original post is no longer available, but you can still view it courtesy of The Wayback Machine.

Smooth Criminal Lawyer

Helen is doing her best moonwalk for the anniversary of the late Michael Jackson's birth on this day in 1958. Although the musician's life was full of controversy, there's no denying the impact he had on pop culture.

I'm sure Kevin is much more interested in National Sports Day, and while I have no doubt his first choice would be football I expect that any event where a bunch of guys run around a field would appeal to him. Even better if someone gets hurt by the end of it.

It's also International Bat Night, but not the kind of bat you use in sports. This holiday is about the kind of bat that likes to sleep upside-down and spread rabies or, as Jane would put it, her preferred career goals.

Fanfic Update!

• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 4): "Daria and Jane stared in shock, unable to fully process what had just happened."

Ka-Ching!

I see that the Daria character who least needs it has won big on International Lottery Day, and I can only hope he's ready to share. Daria's still got her eye on that cabin in Montana, after all.

Kevin, meanwhile, will probably enjoy Banana Lovers Day thanks to his love of nutty butter and banana sandwiches. Hopefully this one will be free of cyanide!

On this day in 2000, Is It Fall Yet? first aired. Immediately after, the Daria Post-Movie Chat took place. The questions were...lively...and give some fun insights into what fandom was like almost 25 years ago.

Fandom News!

• ddakl wonders about the green thing on Daria's bookshelf.


• The 2024 Completed Daria Fanfiction (so far) list has been posted.

Snip, Snip, Eep!

Brittany looks a bit nervous about her chosen method of celebrating director Tim Burton's birthday, and I'd say she has every reason to be. Never mind being able to pick up her pom-poms; she'll be risking her life every time she tries to twirl her hair around her finger!

Nobody tell the Fashion Club that today is National Secondhand Wardrobe Day, because I suspect that they would be horrified at the idea of wearing any clothing that someone else wore first. They also, according to "The Old and the Beautiful," have a serious problem with donating any of their old clothes to be worn by others.

Let's all hope that Tom and Daria don't decide to celebrate Kiss and Make-Up Day. I know they had their share of fights, but kissing only ever seemed to get them into trouble.

Fanfic Update!

• A Dumbass and The Cynic, by janendaria4life (part 2): "After a couple of dreadful hours, Kimberly finally rose to her feet and opened the doors of the Highland library, traipsing to the parking lot that was slowly growing darker, where she had expected her friends to be."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 2): "True to her word, Daria arrived at Casa Lane right at noon. A disheveled Jane greeted her at the door."


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "It didn’t take long for the cheerleading team to arrive in Middlebury, which was a little over 10 miles from Lawndale."

Like, HELP!

I don't think Sandi has quite gotten the point of Ride the Wind Day, and I suspect the trip is about to become far less enjoyable. Someone go check and see if Quinn has an alibi, okay?

It's possible that Sandi is actually celebrating Cheap Flight Day, but any flight that costs you your life is anything but cheap. I hope Jake doesn't feel obligated to board any airplanes (or hot air balloons) because with his fear of heights it would be a pretty rough journey.

It would probably be best for everyone if they just observed Find Your Inner Nerd Day instead, although I'm sure Sandi would rather plummet to her death. Daria's got this one covered; she's always been in touch with both her inner and outer nerd.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Phil Donahue.

Always Wear Your Sunscreen!

Brittany's paying a visit to Better Days Nursing Home for Senior Citizen’s Day, and I have no doubt that she'll be as popular there as she is at school...possibly because her high-pitched voice can likely be heard by even the deafest residents. Maybe Daria will visit Mrs. Blaine with her latest Melody Powers story, because who doesn't enjoy an appreciative audience--or at least an audience who pretends to be appreciative?

Happy birthday to the American Bar Association, which was founded on this day in 1878. I'm sure Helen would be happy to know that one of the cornerstones of her profession is still going strong, although I wouldn't expect her to take any time off to celebrate.

Finally, let's hope Quinn doesn't decide to celebrate National Poets Day, especially because I'm not sure that the words she generates actually count as poetry. I'd even rather listen to Andrea's poems than that greasy fry opus.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 40): "At first, the shaken Quinn could do nothing but to stay there in silence, crying and shivering in the shadows as her once safe refuge threatened to fall and collapse at any moment."


• A Dumbass and The Cynic, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was a normal day in Highland High School, and Daria Morgendorffer was sitting at her seat in Mr. Van Drisessen's classroom."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 1): "'Hello, ladies!' A smarmy voice cut into Daria and Jane’s discussion about their weekend plans."

Bake 'Em, Mash 'Em, Stick 'Em in a Stew!

Mr. O'Neill is taking an unusual method to celebrate National Potato Day, and it's quite fitting as well: his head is empty as either a plastic toy or a teacher. If Jake decides to go the "Angela's Ashtray" route by feeding the family potatoes, I hope he remembers to order the correct steak to serve with them.

Jane, meanwhile, can take some pictures of spuds for World Photography Day, because she was always quite handy with a camera. Especially if Daria was involved and doing something particularly embarrassing.

I suppose she should take pity on her friend, though, because it's World Humanitarian Day and therefore a great day to show compassion. Note to the Fashion Club, though: it takes more than a pitiful clothing drive haul or a mirror plaque to qualify as a philanthropist.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Wally Amos.


• Discuss an article by Loretta Swit on the current state of TV.


• cfardell_Brenorenz29 posted a new Iron Chef: The Unmentioned Lawndale.

Back When Dystopias Were Found in the Fiction Section

Young Daria would clearly much rather read than attend camp, but in her defense today is the anniversary of Animal Farm's publication in 1945. Bad news for Daria; I think she's about to find out that all campers are equal, but some campers are more equal than others.

Helen and Jake should know that today is also Baby Boomers Recognition Day, and they should be, well, noticed. Helen referred to herself as a Boomer in Is It College Yet? but I really don't think Baby Boomers are in any danger of being ignored.

On this day in 1997, Daria appeared in The Chicago Tribune's TVWeek with an interview with Glenn Eichler, Susie Lewis, and Abby Terkuhle. The latter's "What separates 'Beavis and Butt-head' from 'Daria' is a lot of brain cells" quote still amuses me no end.

Fanfic Update!

• Run, Timmy, Run, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Quinn's Cadillac was going home. Inside, Quinn was driving while Jim rode shotgun. The triplets were in the back. Timmy was visibly nervous while Tommy, Jim and Quinn were all visibly upset."


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "While O’Neill was drawing names from a box, Ms. Li was looking up information on the competition in Middlebury."

"What a good day to just kick back and chill!"

Helen and Jake are sure making the most of International Relaxation Day, but I don't expect it to last. They're both entirely too high-strung to be able to keep calm and peaceful for much more than a couple of minutes. Still, let's leave them to enjoy what little time they have before Helen's phone rings and ruins it, shall we?

For those looking for less peaceful pursuits, Alternapalooza began on this day in (most likely) 1997. While Daria and the gang never quite made it to the festival, they sure had an interesting adventure along the way. In the "interesting times" sense of interesting, that is.

Perhaps not coincidentally, the Woodstock music festival also began on this day, only in 1969. Jake ended up going to Altamont instead, but perhaps that's just as well. Woodstock's peace and love groove wouldn't have fit his personality well, as established previously re: his ability to relax.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the charity that unknowingly distributed meth-laced candy.

No, Brittany, Your OTHER Left!

Brittany needs a little time to figure out whether or not she should be celebrating Left Handers Day, because if she has to take remedial art then she needs to prepare for the worst. As someone who lives with two left-handed people, all the southpaws out there have my sympathy for all of the smeared ink and uncomfortable school desks you've had to endure. Let's all give the lefties in fandom a hand! (Get it?)

Of course, I mean giving them a hand figuratively, not literally, even though it's World Organ Donation Day. As pointed out by Daria and Jane, organ donation is the one facet of life where you aren't judged by your looks. Unless it's your eyes.

Finally, happy birthday to the late Alfred Hitchcock, who was born on this day in 1899. He was considered a master of suspense, and we know Tom was a fan because he invited Daria to see Rope at a Hitchcock festival in Is It College Yet? Surprisingly, I haven't been able to find any fanfic crossovers with Hitchcock movies, but I bet it would be fun. Anyone want to give it a try?

Fanfic Update!

• Complicated, by janendaria4life (part 1): "Daria, during the summer after her eventful graduation, decides to take a return to Lawndale."


• Full Green Jacket, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'So, the three of you understand what you're supposed to do?' Sandi asked the three Js slowly, looking without optimism at their cheerful but dumb faces."


• Home is Where the Heart Is, by RadioFox (COMPLETE!): "The early morning sun beamed through the window. The birds chirped, combining into a beautiful song. Inside, Jane slowly opened her blue eyes and looked around. Helen and Daria were still sleeping beside her."


• Lucy in the Sky with Daria, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Daria steps into the room and out of her coat. She launches the latter at the armchair and curls over to begin untying her boots."


• Run, Timmy, Run, by wilddogjj (part 1): "A bunch of eleven- and twelve-years old boys are taking turns demonstrating their football skills on the field while the head coach, a dark-haired man in his mid-thirties, watches and takes notes."


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Good Morning, Students! I’m proud to announce that the annual La-awndale High Spelling Bee will be held this Friday!'"

I Bet the Punchline Involved Sandals

President's Day just finished celebrating Presidential Joke Day, but I suspect that the joke was at someone else's expense. Honestly, as far as I can tell those two are the presidential joke. Harpsichord skills or not.

If you'd like to visit a gigantic symbol of consumerism, why not celebrate the anniversary of the opening of the Mall of America on this day in 1992? Just remember that you parked in FMoss3 and don't participate in any market research for free.

Finally, it was on this day in 1999 that the episode "Just Add Water" first aired. The Titanic references were maybe a tiny bit dated, but at least we got some laughs over Mr. DeMartino's crippling gambling addiction!

Nothing Like Catching Up With Your Best Frenemy!

It might look like Linda and Helen are calling to wish each other a happy National Women's Day, but we all know better, don't we? Obviously they're just using the day as an excuse to make passive-aggressive insults and try to one-up each other on who's more happy and successful. As usual.

Meanwhile, Daria will just stay out of the battle area and enjoy Book Lover’s Day by, of course, reading. Not that she needs a specific holiday to do that, but it's nice to be able to claim that she's participating in something once Helen gets off the phone.

Trent and Jesse, however, can pull out their old records and celebrate Frank Zappa Day! I hope they don't get into another argument about whether he sounds better digital versus analog. It's just going to end in a fish sticks commercial.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 39): "The sleepy town of Lawndale, Pennsylvania had fallen into deep mourning and shock."


• Full Green Jacket, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Daria trudged miserably through Jim's Paintballing Jungle, wishing with every step that she was doing something more interesting like reading a book or counting the cracks in her ceiling or even sitting through one of Mr. O'Neill's self-esteem classes. At least in class she wasn't expected to do any physical activity."


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 30): "'So, you’re a lieutenant commander, Angie?' 'Yeah.' Angie responded with a smile as she cinched her saddle tight."

I Don't Think Anyone Is Going to Turn the Sun Down

Looks like the teenagers of Lawndale have all turned out to celebrate Beach Party Day, and you're welcome for not using the shot of Mr. O'Neill shaking his butt. I'm sure Daria is praying for a good shark attack to clear out the crowds so she can read in peace, but I wouldn't count on it.

Skipping from "Is It Fall Yet?" to "Is It College Yet?" I could suggest Daria give an inspiring speech for Professional Speakers Day, but I suspect that was a one-time-only occasion. She wasn't kidding when she said she wasn't much for either speaking or the public.

Under Where?

Upchuck is having an absolutely blast on Underwear Day, although I don't think any onlookers could say the same. Jake might take the opportunity to greet the new day, at least until Helen urges him to put his pants on.

Once the pants are firmly in place it will be time to buckle (get it?) down for Work Like a Dog Day. Except that dogs don't wear pants. Still, it goes without saying that Helen will be celebrating this one today. And tomorrow. And every day after that.

Be sure to wish your favorite blogger a happy Blogger Day, and if that just so happens to be me then I won't complain. I also won't complain if you choose to celebrate by offering lots and lots of chocolate.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (COMPLETE!): "Carmen ran back towards the house as fast as she could, still not quite believing what had just happened."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 24): "They moved around the ice castle, but there didn't appear to be any other way inside."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 40): "HJ’s Hogwarts letter came through the mail in June. Daria’s letter from Ilvermorny had arrived the month before, causing Daria to tease HJ that Dumbledore had decided that he didn’t want HJ at Hogwarts after all."


• Spider Quinn 10 The New Heroes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "It wasn’t long before Joey, Quinn and Daria arrived, along with Jeffy, Jamie, Stacy and Jane."

Stay Out of the Splash Zone!

Jesse is doing his best Gallagher impression and taking an unusual route to celebrating National Watermelon Day. Weird as it might be, it's still less weird than greasing it up and wrestling it out of the water. For those of you who want to celebrate this holiday, I suggest simply...eating it.

You could even gather around a fire to eat for Campfire Day, which comes with a bonus of being able to roast s'mores and tell scary stories. Maybe don't tell the kind of stories the Morgendorffers told around their campfire, though. Seductive vampires and clunky gold sequins are not especially frightening.

Still, we know Daria can tell a good story (scary or not) because she managed to write some very entertaining tales in the episode "Write Where It Hurts," which aired on this day in 1998. I will never look at card games the same way again.

Fandom News!

• Discuss disabilities in a new thread.


• Sheila Wisz Ellayn shares The Complete Guide to Blue Shirt and Checkers.


• Check out a Daria clip from WatchMOJO.


• cortez wonders if the Daria fandom is dead.

Well, No, That Mountain Does NOT Make You Look Fat

I see Tiffany already has a head start on celebrating Mountain Climbing Day, but I really hope she isn't going up on her own. The buddy system (even if no one can stand to listen to her talk) is important even for people of normal intelligence. Then again, climbing a mountain in a group didn't work out so well in "Antisocial Climbers," did it?

If Helen and Quinn decide to climb any mountains, they should schedule it in one of Deena Decker's planners in honor of National Planner Day. Helen's is most likely "WORK" written on every page, while Quinn can barely squeeze any other activities in between dates in hers.

Of course, physical planners are soooo old fashioned, especially considering that it's World Wide Web Day. Be like Jake and log onto the world wide weberverse! Or the information superhighway. Whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 27): "Dylan sat on the couch in the common room of the boarding house, idly twirling a beer in one hand and a pen in the other, one eye on the TV and the other on the blank notebook on his lap."


• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 38): "t was true that days and nights still followed a natural pattern even in the depths of Sallakovia, and yet the lost soul of a certain Lawndale girl had already lost all track of time and of how long she had already been stuck at that place."


• Life Gets Better Every Letter That You Write Me, by ladyevil (part 4): "'So, in my dream,' Helen said as she lounged on Dr. Becky’s couch. 'Daria acts like she doesn’t even know me. Only, it’s not an act like it is with Quinn when she likes to pretend that she’s not related to Daria or Jake. She genuinely doesn’t seem to recognize me, and she acts like I’m just some crazy lady who claims to be her mother. She’s all "I don’t have a mother. Get away from me". And so, I chase after her. She’s not running in the dream, but I am, and yet, she just gets further and further from, which does not make any sense.'"