This Won't End Well

I'm afraid Kevin has gotten the wrong idea for National Punch Day, because it's supposed to be about the beverage and not hitting people. Not to worry, though, as Robert will soon be turning the tables on him.

Once Kevin regains consciousness someone had better keep an eye on him because it's National Concussion Awareness Day and he can't afford to lose any more brain function. I'm sure Tommy Sherman has more than a passing familiarity with this one, or at least he did before he had that unfortunate incident with the memorial goalpost.

I think it might be best to just put aside all of the violence and celebrate National Pepperoni Pizza Day instead. Jane and Daria will most likely be joining in, even if the restaurant adds that extra quart of grease to the recipe.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the man who sued his victim for damages after stealing their Vespa scooter and crashing it.

Get! Burger!

Amelia is so happy to be celebrating Locate An Old Friend Day, but Daria definitely doesn't feel that the feeling is mutual. I suspect she'll be celebrating Hide From an Old Friend Day before the end of the day.

Let's hope Skip has fired up the grill for National Cheeseburger Day, although I think we can all live without his highly-detailed system. I recommend eating the burger, but you can always follow Daria's lead by putting it into your boots to enjoy the squishy feeling.

Finally, on this day in 1999 Kara Wild published the essay "Amy: Savior or Chimera?" It's an interesting take on Daria's favorite aunt that was written mid-series, so enjoy a glimpse into what fandom speculation was like before the end of the show.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 41): "The mighty black wolves howled to a gray sky as the lady of green eyes rode so fast through Sallakovia, all the dangers of the forest and the mountains shook in fear of her presence alone, she would arrive back home soon enough and the portraits and letter were indeed safe and sound deep in a pocket of her cloak."

Don't Let Mom Miss the Guacamole!

I see that Jake is fully embracing National Guacamole Day, but I hope he comes up for air long enough to dip some chips in it or something. Helen, meanwhile, might celebrate later. After she hangs up the phone and dials 911.

I hope someone wakes up Trent and tells him that today is National Tattoo Story Day and he should take the opportunity to share the message that his tattoo sends. Of course, that message is "I got a tattoo out of a magazine," so don't get your hopes up.

Quinn will be pleased to know that today is Stay Away From Seattle Day, because I don't think she ever truly forgave them for that--ugh--grunge. As long as she's finally figured out that Washington is a state and not the nation's capital, everything should be fine.

Fandom News!

• Share songs that could have been about Jodie's upbringing.


• ddakl has a translation-related question about a comment from "Daria Day 1998."

Someone Make Sure Lindy Celebrates This One!

Jesse has clearly missed the entire point of National Sober Day, but in his defense it isn't the first thing to fly right over his head. Jake might want to celebrate this one, as we know how badly things go if he has too many martinis...or too much sake, for that matter.

At the very least he shouldn't drink on an empty stomach, and what better choice than a sweet pastry for National Cream-Filled Donut Day? Jane and Daria could meet up at Do Me a Donut and figure out which of them is the more twisted little cruller.

In fandom history news, Daria appeared in an issue of "People Weekly" on this day in 1998 in order to judge the best and worst dressed people of the year. While "fashion" isn't the first thing you'd think of with Daria, judging is definitely quite on brand for her.

Fanfic Update!

• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "The alarm beeps and Daria hits snooze four times before Helen opens the door to her room. A look of concern crosses her face."


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 31): "'So...where’s your mother and the brats, Sandi?' Quinn asked, her eyes scanning the room as she and her fellow Fashion Club member sat on the sofa watching a 'Lawndale’s Top Model' marathon on the television."


• The Memorial Dance Incident, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was an ordinary day at Lawndale High School. Brittany Taylor was bored. Just painting what one saw wasn’t interesting. She preferred it if it was more interesting."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 8): "'Who can tell me the answer to question five?' asked Mr. Aldridge. Charlene's hand shot up like a rocket."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Norman Osborn threw aside the latest Sun-Herald in disgust. More reports of crime that hadn’t been foiled by SpiderGirl or those two new vigilantes."

A Good Day for Cannibal Frag Fest

Daria's having a great National Video Games Day, although it might be time to put away the first person shooter and do some writing. Ted, meanwhile, is probably immersed in a virtual reality world...as usual.

Still, let's all be supportive of people playing video games or doing anything else they choose, because it's National Day of Encouragement and we should lift others up. Just don't use Helen's method: "We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just...don't...get it! What's wrong with you?!"

I don't think anyone should encourage Daria to smile if she doesn't want to, though, because even if it's National School Pictures Day she only smiles if she has a reason. I'd be interested in seeing her produce a list of things that would make her smile, but I suspect it's very short.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., James Earl Jones.

Who's a Good Boy?

We see here Rin Tin Tin look-alike Leary III paying tribute to the famous TV dog, who was born on this day in 1918. Like Leary, Rin Tin Tin had multiple successors and in fact appears to have made it to number twelve. No idea which Leary the Yeagers are up to at this point, though.

If you'd like to watch some old Rin Tin Tin episodes, be sure to have the appropriate meal while you do so. It's TV Dinner Day, and you can be sure that Jane will be participating...unless she's saving that for Thanksgiving.

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Peterson and SpiderGirl entered the hospital room, and saw that Sarah Robyn was reading a book that she had found in the room."


• Washington Field Trip (Daria Ravenclaw: Loose Snippets), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Returning to the States after her stay with Great-Grandfather Arcturus was disorienting, especially since she was not only transitioning from Britain back to the US, but back to the non-magical part of the United States." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Doesn't Anyone in Lawndale Have a NICE Grandma?

I see Grandma Lane is telling Jane that it's Grandparents' Day, although I don't think she needed to tell her with quite that much volume. With any luck Grandma Ruth will just stay home today and not throw the Morgendorffer house into upheaval again.

If she does show up, Helen could always try to impress her with her famous oatmeal pumpkin seed loaf, or rather she could have if she hadn't given her bread machine away. Instead, perhaps she could celebrate Date Nut Bread Day by trying a new recipe. It can't be worse than Jake's kitchen experiments, can it? Hmm. Don't answer that.

It might be better for everyone if they just get out of the house and go to a fun event like the Starry Night Ball, which took place on this day in whatever year Is It Fall Yet? took place. Then again, at $1,000 a couple I think they might want to take their chances with the passive-aggressive grandmother.

Take a Look, It's in a Book!

Daria is suggesting that you celebrate Read a Book Day, but not so much for the enrichment it will provide and more for the hope that it will encourage you to leave her alone. I think it goes without saying that Daria and indeed most of the Daria fandom will be participating in this one, today and every other day as well.

However, try not to use reading as an excuse to put off any important tasks, because it's Fight Procrastination Day! I'll definitely fight procrastination...later on.

I guess you could call me lazy, but that's okay because it's also National Lazy Mom’s Day and I qualify! I don't think Helen will be joining me for this one, though.

Extra, Extra!

I hope Jake remembered to thank the person who delivered his morning newspaper for Newspaper Carrier Day, because without a newspaper carrier Jake wouldn't be able to read the news...which stresses him out...and puts strain on his heart...and potentially shortens his lifespan. Hmm. Maybe we should see if the newspaper carrier would be willing to skip the Morgendorffer house, at least occasionally.

Instead of freaking out about the news, Jake could have a nice snack for National Macadamia Nut Day, even though he prefers cashews. Daria knows where he can buy nuts by the bunch, and if she doesn't smile then the nuts are free!

On this day in 1997, Daria and Jane made a (very) brief cameo on the MTV Video Music Awards. And when I say "brief," I mean don't even blink.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the poll: Is Helen a bad mother?

Calendar Girl

Quinn is checking to make sure the family calendar is correct for Calendar Adjustment Day, but I don't think she has anything to worry about. On Daria, every day is somehow May 12, so there isn't much adjusting required.

Today, however, is Labor Day so if you have the day off then be sure to enjoy it but also thank the labor movement for making it possible! I suppose it goes without saying that Helen will be working, but no one is surprised by that.

If Daria feels like taking another chance on Axl's, she could get her ears pierced in celebration of Pierce Your Ears Day. Just don't bring Trent along, because that never ends well.

Fanfic Update!

• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 6): "When they finally pulled up to Charlene's house, she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. 'Made it.'"


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 4): "The team moved quickly, knocking the Shadow and Ninja Talon aside, and using their moves to avoid SpiderGirl’s webbing."