Of Human Lab Brats Bonding

"The Lab Brat" (left) turns 13 today, and "Of Human Bonding" (right) turns 10. Happy Episode Birthday to you both!

Quinn Morgendorffer's favorite real-world TV star turns 43 today. Can you guess who it is? The answer lies here.

The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was copyrighted 182 years ago today. Odd, it still doesn't look like anyone's using it to check the stuff they write on the Internet.

The Human Genome Project was completed seven years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com. What kind of kids would Daria have if she could "geneer" (genetically engineer) them?

Enough of this. Instead of talking about new fanfiction, let's do something completely different.

UNFINISHED FANFICS I HAVE LOVED (ver. 3.0)

A couple years ago I began a semi-regular series in this column to rave about my favorite unfinished stories. This fandom regularly produces astounding fiction and artwork, considering its small size. Many of the unfinished stories are as exciting to read as the complete ones. Unfinished tales have considerable influence over later fiction, too—super-cool ideas brought up by one author might find new authors to bring them off.

Some of the following Works in Progress appear to be at least a third to half completed. A good number are what I call “First & Last Chapters,” because they end right after Chapter One. A few might lack only one chapter more. So much potential, so many places they could go!

Here’s my current faves list. Sit back and enjoy. Oh—stories previously covered in this column will not be mentioned here (not yet, anyway). We’ll get back to them later. For now, let’s explore new titles. You have some ideas on unfinished fanfics that YOU have loved? Tell me (and everyone else) about them in Comments.

SCIENCE FICTION, MYSTERY, AND HIGH ADVENTURE

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker (Lawndale Lurker) (SFMB): The classic school bus trip from Hell, way over the top and worth the ride. LL moved the story well along from where LS left it, but more is called for. Where are Daria and the gang now? Will they survive the wilderness, or will only a few make it home? And what of the volcanoes? Comedy, adventure, thrills—this packs them all. I gotta know how this ends!
• The Best and Brightest, by Smijey (Smileyfax): Daria stumbles upon a little secret involving Lawndale—or is it a big and dangerous secret? What does Jane know? Where is this going?
• Crouching Monster, Hidden Magic (Daria/The Dresden Files), by LSauchelli: LSauchelli’s modern-magic crossovers with The Dresden Files were exciting indeed. Much deadlier than the Harry Potter stuff, a real mind-blower at times. Any hope of seeing this tale continued, if not adding more tales to the story series?
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North: I have few worries that this story will be soon finished. This SF series is a grabber and a keeper. Keep ‘em comin’!
• Daria’s Web (Daria/Spider-Man), by Fezenclop (Ranger Thorne) (part 2 on SFMB) (part 3 on SFMB) (part 4 on SFMB) (part 5 on SFMB) (part 6 on SFMB) (part 7 on SFMB) (part 8 on SFMB) (OD): Daria is Spider-Girl. Terrific story with fast-moving action. MOAR!!!
• Downbelow, by Smileyfax (FF.net): Jane Lane is no longer in Lawndale. She’s lurking under it. And she wants Daria to join her. Can’t lose with this one.
• End over End, by Shull Bitter: Jane dies. Wait, she’s alive—but maybe not for long. A nail-biter just getting underway.
• Fimbul (ex-More Apocalyptic Daria), by NightGoblyn: First-person Jane tale of a devastated Earth with many familiar faces. This is gold SF. Moar, plz.
• Into the Fray, by Minx (FF.net): Daria, Quinn, Jane, and Mystic Spiral are on a road trip that’s interrupted by a war—the Second American Civil War. A real shocker, lots of excitement (and doubtless angst!) ahead, great writing by a great new talent.
• The House on Space-Time Lane (Daria/Doctor Who), by Lawndale Stalker (part 2 on PPMB) (part 2 on SFMB) (OD) (1111 Space Time Lane, early version): I can’t tell if this one is finished or what. I adore it. LS, where the heck are you?
• Lawndale’s Finest: Action Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North: A superb action/superhero series that should never ever end. Jim’s contribution is up to the grand style we’ve come to expect. And the characters fit the DC Universe perfectly!
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax: Sandi Griffin has several times been linked to vampirism, and this tale (even unfinished) is one of the better ones.
• Manse Griffin, by Smileyfax: Another Sandi tale, in which she inherits a house with secrets unrevealed.
• The Melancholy of Daria Morgendorffer, by Wraith (additional scene here): Wraith has a genius about him when writing anime crossovers. Even from these fragments, a great tale beckons. See if you agree.

• The Mystery Chick, by LSauchelli: What if Jake Morgendorffer had been a detective? What would Daria be like now? This tale provided some answers.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song (Daria/The Lord of the Rings), by Dennis: I honestly didn’t believe anyone could ever pull off this crossover, but Dennis does—and also adds more crossovers to boot. I have to know what happens with Hermione in the mix!
• Survivor Diet, by Smileyfax: If this one is pulled off right, it could rank among the best horror tales in this fandom. “Antisocial Climbers” has a very different ending. Lots of students go up a mountain, but not so many come down again. Let us say that the missing students had a very tasteful fate. This had me rattled with its first (and only) chapter.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite: In a dystopian future America, Sandi Griffin is on the run—but from who? And why? And what the hell is Quinn doing?
• Unnamed story (Daria/The Wire), by Roentgen: This one just grabbed me, and I have never once watched The Wire on TV. Marvelous crossover in such a tiny fragment.
• Wrylight (Daria/Twilight), by Minx (FF.net): Tongue firmly in cheek, Minx leads us through a wacky crossover in which some of Lawndale’s citizens might be vampires. A lot of them might be vampires, in fact. And some are good friends with poor, innocent Daria.
  

ANGST TO THE Nth POWER

• The Leggy Chick, by TheEleventy: I believe this author is back among us. This tale is one of many he left incomplete that cries out for more. A car wreck kills Daria and Trent, but leaves Jane crippled. How she puts her life back together—and who enters her life to help—create a tale to remember. It really takes you places. Excellent stuff.
• The Misery Chick, by thatLONERchick: This tale was listed as complete in 2008, but was later continued. I would definitely love to see more of this sad AU in which events in the original episode called “The Misery Chick” go horribly awry.

OLD-SCHOOL SHIPPERS

• Chances (ex-Don’t Leave Anything to Chance), by Coonassblondie: A Jane/Jesse shipper, uncommon in the fandom nowadays but handed quite well by a welcome new talent. I wouldn’t mind seeing where this one leads.
• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (PPMB): Borrowing an idea from another unfinished tale, Vlora works out a believable background to have an older Daria start the series—just old enough to meet Trent on equal terms. Oh boy! Shipping at its finest.
• Our Time Now, by Charliefox2012: We return again to the Daria/Jane slash shipper, but this story is well told and draws the reader in nicely. (Do not confuse this with this story.)
  

A WALK ON THE WILD, WILD SIDE

• D.A.R.I.A., by Greystar: Daria’s a robot. So is Quinn. Jane just found out and isn’t handling the news so well. What could possibly go wrong? A very engaging freak-out about reality gone wrong.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser: The freakiest freak-out of all, only a whisker ahead of Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III). This series makes my brain all ‘spody. Hang on if you haven’t read either of these yet.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn: Daria crossed with A. E. van Vogt in a mind-bending adventure across two planets in a psychotic future in which the Game is All. This rivals jtranser’s future histories for sheer inventive brilliance. You’ve got to try this one.
• Inner Universe, by Malakite: I haven’t seen an idea carried out like this since the days when Renfield was among us. The series as we know it exists only within the mind of a wildly psychotic high school student named Jane Lane. This has to keep going.
• Personable Computers (Daria/Chobits), by Trscroggs: Daria and Jane are animated computers. I really need to see the story this was based upon. This fragment is too, too crazy.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (old version): Everyone else but me seems to know what’s happening in this out-there tale, but I’m fine with being ignorant and intrigued. This is just so… out there. Continue!
• Taking Tea in Dreamland, by Micka: I can hear Renfield’s ghost whispering to me in this one. Daria’s having a nightmare… that might be horribly true. (To begin with, her name isn’t Daria. It’s Jane.)
  

COMEDY CLUB

• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: A wild and mirthful “behind-the-scenes” account of what was really going on when Daria was being filmed. It was semi-usurped by a similar thread but did quite well for itself. I’d love to read more of this.
• The Handmaidens of Narcissus, by TheSecretSharer: Daria as if done by William Shakespeare. And it works. MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!
• Harry Butt-head (Daria/Beavis and Butt-head/Harry Potter), by Deep Metal: This guy has done some funny stuff on FF.net. Keep poking him to continue this one!
  

MORGENDORFFER FAMILY FOLLIES

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007: Quinn becomes Finn, a boy, in a retelling of the series with Finn Morgendorffer at the focus. I admit I was lukewarm to this series when it began, but now I am horribly hooked. It makes me want to tear out my hair sometimes, I get so involved. Excellent stuff.
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012: Another Morgendorffer Family variant: Daria’s twin sister Darla, who has Daria’s looks but not her brains and personality. This one is just getting started, but I anticipate becoming just as crazed about it as the series about Finn Morgendorffer.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (FF.net): In an alternate reality, Helen Morgendorffer has one simple idea—and the entire series and its world is changed as a result. Excellent AU construction, logical and deftly told with a conservative touch, with characters filled with life.
  

SCHOOL DAZE

• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding (ex-First Day of School, or What Might Have Been), by Roentgen (continued here): One of two brilliant reinventions of the series that take place at schools other than Lawndale High. Superb characterization and startling plot twists make both this and “Regifted” treasures in the making.
• See Jane Ride (a variant of Worth the Blood), by TheEleventy. Jane is in college—developing a new form of art. Highly realistic, marvelous characterization, much fun.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar: The episode “Gifted” jumps the tracks in this AU as Daria and Jodie transfer to Grove Hills. This convoluted tale of classmate treachery and intrigue continues to thrill. Poor Jodie!
• The Substitute (Daria/DC Heroes), by Echopapa: Lawndale High gets a very different substitute teacher in the episode, “Lucky Strike.” I desperately want to see what happens next in this bizarre crossover.

Meet the Met

This is post #1600, or #40² for you math geeks. Woo-hoo! Top o' the world!

New York City's Metropolitan Museum of Art ("The Met") was founded this day only 140 short years ago. Those who live in Lawndale must make do with the County Museum of Modern Art (COMMA), of which Jane Lane has a most definite opinion.

Just 13 years ago today an interview with Daria appeared in the San Francisco Sunday Examiner & Chronicle (in the Parade magazine). "Who do you discuss your problems with?" the interviewer asks. "I talk to my friend Jane," says Daria. "She doesn't judge me. That's because she's not listening."

PPMB

• NEW! Enchanted April, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Not funny. Plus, you're around two weeks late for April Fool's."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4):
  Jane knew that Finn was going to be out tonight, something about dealing with Lindy, that drunk girl from the café. Figures. He sees someone in trouble, he’s gotta go charging ahead and save the day. Hero complex, totally called it. Knew it from the first day.
• NEWERER! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 23): Daria held her breath. Not now. She picked up the phone. "Hey, Elsie. Yeah... yeah... okay. Listen... I just wanted to tell you that there might be a delay on Saturday... I decided to sign up for that Lend-a-Hand thing and... hello... hello?"
  
• Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 7): “What are you doing?” Trent asked. “We need to sort out our stuff, see what we have left since we had to leave your car behind. There’s not enough room for everyone to fit comfortably in the Tank, so we have to get rid of all non-essential items.” Daria continued to remove the bags and drop them on the ground. Jane silently walked over and began to help. As Daria put a box of the bands leads on the ground Max jumped up, “Hey! Not the gig equipment,” he said sternly.
• NEW! Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Like, strange things are totally afoot at the Circle K!"
• NEWERER! Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "We ran out of milk."
  

The Ace of Space

Forty-nine years ago today, Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first man to reach space and orbit the earth. In Russia today is Cosmonautics Day, but worldwide it's Yuri's Night, celebrating both his achievement and the launch of the first American space shuttle, Columbia, 29 years ago. Find a Yuri's Night party near you and PAR-TAY!!!

Today is also National Licorice Day, for those of you so inclined to celebrate it with a snack, and it is also Big Wind Day (look it up). Late night talk show host David Letterman (at left) turns 63.

Would you believe the very first truancy law in the USA was passed 157 years ago in New York? That was before the Civil War, too. Daria has a reflection on this day for you.

Finally, for reasons that are not clear in the least, this is Walk on Your Wild Side Day. It does not seem to be connected to the Lou Reed song, so I have no idea what's up with that. You figure it out.

PPMB

• Ah! Amiga-sama! by Nullset (COMPLETE!): “Aunt Amy, I really need some help now if you have time to talk,” Daria said when the ringing stopped and the call connected. “Thank you for calling the Goddess Technical Help Line!” Daria heard in reply. “Please stand by as a goddess will be with you shortly.”
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Oh, hey, Daria. It’s Tom.” Her boyfriend was on the other line. “Hello,” Daria replied politely, but coldly. After the whole talk with the recommendation and all, she was a little peeved at Tom. Fortunately, he didn’t mention it: He informed her that Finn had called and was stopping by in an hour, and wanted to know if she wanted to hit a movie afterward. She declined, a movie just didn’t seem exciting. She hung up, and began writing a short story. A short story quickly turned into a long one. A long one about a virus that made it’s victims blind and idiots, convinced that they were superior to the “lessers” as it slowly wrecked their bodies. As a side effect, it turned blood blue.
• NEW! General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Interludes 21.1 & 21.2): There was only quantum-level flickering on the interface graph. Trent Lane propped the guitar he had been holding against the padded, soundproofed wall, and reached for his coffee. Ice cold, with that oxidised flavour. Mmmmm, gimme more! He closed his eyes, and whited out for a long moment.
• NEW! The Ringbearers, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Daria waited backstage, combing her gray hair into submission. It's so much thinner now, she thought, remember the time that the make-up artists had with it so long ago. She hadn't been on television since 1966, but everyone would expect her to look the same as she did when she stepped on the set at CBS as a 22 year old who wanted to learn the business from the ground up. "Hey, old woman." It was a familiar voice with a sharp nasal accent that Daria placed instantly.
  
• A Series of Unfortunate Events, by Minx (COMPLETE!): "Mom and Dad are going to kill me.” Daria sighed and stopped pacing. “I’ll take full responsibility; they can’t put any of the blame on you for me hiding in the van,” said Quinn. “No, that’s not why they’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill me for murdering you and leaving your body to rot in the middle of the desert.”
• Tequila and Tattoos Don't Mix, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "How was your week?" Jane asked Daria. "Well, the renewing of Erin's wedding vows turned into a "Sick, Sad World" moment but watching my mom knock out Aunt Rita was worth the price of admission." (FF.net)
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by OverlordMikey (fragments): “I need to talk to you about something.“ The two sat together in the mall food court. “I’m a time traveler," said Brittany. "I’ve come here from the future when it was discovered that we couldn’t go back any further than the date when you arrived in Lawndale. Our agency is curious how Ms. Morgendorffer caused this. However we like believe she did not do this intentionally. She somehow cause a quake thing in time.” (Daria/Haruhi Suzumiya)

A Li'l Fanfic Update Here

Nothing much historical today, but the fanfiction is piling up, so...

PPMB

• NEWEST!!! The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Jane, to enter the hidden world of that creep's dreams and do the things you need to do, you'll have to park your sanity in the surrealist garage, then watch everything morph at high speed like fast decaying unstable isotopes. Are you ready to go after this guy?"
  
• The Family Secret, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): “You couldn’t have climbed to the third floor to save us,” Daria stated. She couldn’t hide her happiness at the sight of her best friend. “Tom’s got a helicopter and a pilot.” Brittany raised a gun as Jane continued to speak. “We did some research. Noticed a few discrepancies in the Barksdale line. Amy and Elizabeth Barksdale, your time's up.”
• NEW! The Most Horrible Truth, With the Greatest Rewards! by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Kevin sat on the back of Tom, who struggled to hold him up. Both wore only boxers. "Is there anything else I may do for you, my lord?" Tom cried in pain.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 5): Despite being preemptively depressurized, the massive starship shuddered as explosions ignited by a direct hit from a meson gun tore through its decks. Protected by a force field, Ian walked down the hall with a firm purpose. If he had been listening to the internal communication system, he'd have heard, "This is the Captain. All hands abandon ship. All hands abandon ship. Save yourselves so that you may once again fight for your Emperor."
• The Strange Case of the Mystery Girl Patter, by Peter W. Guerin (COMPLETE!): We now see approaching from behind a person wearing all black, including a black ski mask; it’s none other than the Mystery Girl Patter, who now goes up to the girl and begins to pat her on the head.
• Your Mom, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): “YOU MUTHA****ING BETCH!!” screamed Quinn as she threw herself at Sandi. The crowd’s cheers quickly became screams of joy as the Fashion duo started to rip apart each other’s clothes. Jane was especially getting into the situation.

Tigers & Golfers & Siblings, Oh, My

Love animals? The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals was created 144 years ago, and this is ASPCA Month, to boot. Do something nice for your pets today. They deserve it. The huge porcelain ceramic tiger at left is courtesy of the Taylors' residence and the WayBack Machine.

This is also said to be Golfers Day, for some reason. If you are a golfer like Jake & Jesse, any reason is a good reason to golf.

Finally, for the Darias & Quinns out there (or the Janes and Trents, or the Amys, Ritas, and Helens), it's National Siblings Day. Call a sibling and say, "I love ya, man!" Unless it's your sister.

The 2010 Big List o' Finished Fics is done, up to 4/8/2010 (not including today). Give it a look and see what you haven't read yet!

Also (mostly) done: the 2010 Big List o' UNFINISHED Fics. See what needs work and send out the pitchforks!

COSMIC EPIC WIN! Minx offers us Jane Lane as Mathilda, from The Professional. I am not worthy! I am not worthy!

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “We’ve got to get to the post office quickly.” Jane remarked. “It’s about to close. Trent, do you want to give us a ride, or not?” “Sorry. I can’t support my little sister becoming a sellout. Do it if you want, but don’t ask me to help.”

Upchuck's Role Model, As It Were

This is the 84th birthday of Playboy magnate Hugh Hefner, and who better to handle the alter ego than Charles Ruttheimer III. Amazing what you can do with degrees in both psychology and creative writing. (Read HH's bio.) Upchuck and Mr. Hefner are mentioned together a lot in Daria fanfiction, of course.

Seen any Jane Lanes around lately?

Stay tooned.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Is Finn there?” a voice with a slight slur had answered. The voice was not one Helen knew. “He isn’t. He’s in Boston for the weekend.” “Boston!” The girl’s voice was enchanted. “And he didn’t invite me.” The sentence tapered into a sharp hiccup. “Who is this?” Helen had asked. “My name? It’s... Lindy.”
• Ring-a-Ling, by Doggieboy (Part 4): Andrea Hecuba sat back on a couch, her feet propped up on a coffee table and a can of Fizzy Gulp in her left hand. A remote control device rested on her midriff and moved slightly as she breathed. A music video blared on a television. She watched it in comfort. Of course, she was more comfortable since her parents were at the hospital visiting a sick friend. The telephone rang. She pushed the mute button on the remote control, then she answered the phone. “Yeah?”
• NEW! Tom Sloane: Angel or Demon? by Quiverwing (COMPLETE!): As I wait for Tom Sloane at Babylon, a restaurant with scintillating views across London’s skyline, I can't help but wonder which Tom is going to show up. Will it be the preppy, sophisticated heir of the Sloane fortune? Or the cynic, charming, low-key ex-boyfriend of Daria Morgendorffer?
  

"Who'd like a candy bar?"

Back in her Highland period, Daria appeared in the Beavis and Butt-head episode "Candy Sale," which premiered on MTV on this day 15 years ago. Daria had a nonspeaking role, but oddly she fell for the transparent ploy that "Mister Candy" uses to get the kids to sell candy bars for the school. Maybe this kind of stuff made her more cynical later in life. (Click on the class pic to enlarge it and see what everyone is doing while "Mister Candy" talks. No wonder Daria wanted to get out of Highland as fast as she could.)

PPMB

• NEW! Endings Are Beginnings, by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): I sat in my hotel room and stared at the screen of my laptop. The cursor blinked back at me, unmoving as it had for the past hour. I leaned back in my chair and let out a frustrated sigh. Nothing. That’s exactly what happened, as it had the five times I tried before to produce anything of value for this assignment.
  
• Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 2): "Welcome back, you’re just in time to see the introduction of one of our more unusual friends and Jane’s first college roommate.
• Finn Morgendorffer 41: It's Called Boston, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Do we have to go anywhere?” “No. We’ve got time. Or we could check out that jetted tub.” “Jane, we tried that, it didn’t work as well.” “Practice makes perfect.”
• FORMER MTV STARLET INJURED IN ACCIDENT, by LOTR_Dan (snippet): Brittany Taylor—the blonde bombshell from MTV's Daria and more recently E!'s Tracking Taylor—revived injuries to her neck after a nasty collision on the 5 North.
• NEW! Holiday Air, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Eleven years after 'Depth Take a Holiday' aired, it is still controversial, so I'm going to ask the most obvious question: Are you real holidays or just actors?" "We're real, dammit!" "For those that truly believe."
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 22): "That segment that Merritt assigned where she asked us about comparing Edward Rochester from Jane Eyre to Max De Winter. I'm getting the impression that Merritt wants us to tie that in with du Maurier's views on sex. What do you think?" "I think we're almost thinking the same thing. After all, you have to put down what the prof wants. Individual thinking? God knows what you'll get for a grade."
• NEW! It’s What’s for Dinner, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): “Hello!” Daria shouted as she opened the door at 1111 Glen Oaks lane. Not that she had any particular desire to see her family, but there hadn’t been any food at Jane’s and it was well past dinner time. No answer. She sighed and opened the door wider. Turned out the family was at home.
  
• Miss Scarlett's School for Boys, by Respite (COMPLETE!): “Hey,” he said, as nonchalantly as he could manage. “Hey yourself,” Daria answered. “If you're looking for my friend, she had to—” “No, I—I wasn't looking for your friend. My name's Tom.” Tom stuck his hand out to Daria in greeting.
• NEW! Moon Shot, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): “I heard,” said one such unfortunate, as the band and some of the crew gathering in the hotel room to wind down after the show, “that if you cut up one of these horse pills and take just a little bit with another stimulant like coffee, you get a really nice kick that lasts for hours. And you don’t crash.”
  
• THOMPSON'S LOCKER ROOM RAGE—CAUGHT ON TAPE, by LOTR_Dan (snippet): Thompson, who has not been seen since the incident, is currently being sought by law enforcement.
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): "You know, kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions." (Daria/Kill Bill)
• Up With Chuck, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): The business world knows Mr. Ruttheimer as a ruthless axe man; buying internet companies, cutting them up, keeping the parts that he likes for himself, and then selling the left-over pieces. He's also built his own news search site, designed around an algorithm he developed early in his college career. Most of you visiting this site, though, know him as "Upchuck" from the late 1990s MTV hit series Daria.
  

Three-In-One Day!

"This Year's Model" got its first airing on MTV 13 years ago today, with Daria in her triumphant prime, and "I Loathe a Parade" appeared 10 years ago, with Daria in a less-than-prime state. Damn heart smart chili! On top of that, this is the 16th anniversary of the Beavis and Butt-head episode, "Water Safety," which featured Daria as well, the tiniest of ninth graders at Highland High. (Save the episode quickly, people. It's pretty funny! Daria has some great moments.) We know for a fact now that Daria can swim and is "drown proofed."

For what it's worth, this is also World Health Day. Do something good for yourself. Speaking of which, this is also No Housework Day, and a Helen Morgendorffer from another universe is our mascot for that. She looks weird as a homemaker, doesn't she? Must be the eyes and her... um... never mind. (Click on any image to enlarge it greatly.)

PPMB

• An American Girl in Paris, by Quiverwing (COMPLETE!): I waited for Quinn Morgendorffer at Le Ciel De Paris, a comfortable and elegant restaurant on top of the Montparnasse Tower. It has one of the most beautiful panoramic views overlooking Paris, and not surprisingly, it was the place she had especially chosen for our lunch date. Quinn arrived thirty minutes late. She explained she had a meeting at Chanel that morning that concluded later than expected. She had to rush home to change and later struggled to find a taxi in the busy Paris afternoon. “The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in,” she said with a giggle.
  
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): The Shot was detonated. As the plutonium went supercritical in four dimensions, a brilliant blue flash initiated a strange pyrocumulus cloud in the shape of a double Moebius loop propagating through the various realities and associated alternate dimensions, then, just as quickly, disappeared. It was in that moment, as the peculiarly dilatated flash spread across the desert floor, Daria could see the true nature of the planet Earth. Instead of the comforting curved horizon denoting an oblate spheroid with water, rocks and people spinning around its star, she could look down over the edge to see the backs of four enormous elephants holding up the flattened Earth as they stood on the shell of a tortoise whose size dwarfed theirs as he floated in space, his eyes fixed on the burning Mandelbrot set that replaced the sun. [Wow....]
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 41: It's Called Boston, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “That’s nice.” All of the men still seemed to have their eyes on Finn, and they didn’t even look at Jane. She knew what was coming, but it was so funny to watch it unfold in front of her.
• NEW! Ring-a-Ling, by Doggieboy (Part 3): “Lovely,” the policewoman said and frowned. “Some pathetic loser, sitting at home in his underwear...or naked, getting his jollies off while scaring women with his equally pathetic fantasies. I’ll just have to make sure the Taser is all charged up when we finally arrest his freaky ass.”
  

Aye, And a Bonnie Day It Tis!

Another day full of interesting anniversaries. First, this is Tartan Day, for those of you who are Scottish-ally inclined and like to wear kilts. Tim O'Neill here is doing his fair share, dressed more or less like William Wallace from the movie Braveheart. At least that's what the note for the alter ego said.

That TV show loved only by little kids who weren't put off by Baby Bop's screeching voice, Barney & Friends, had its debut 18 years ago today. (Oh, the horror, I had to leave the room whenever it came on. I am a broken man.) The image at left is from a Beavis and Butt-head episode.

In the U.S.A., today is Student-Athlete Day, so appropriate for the Lawndale Lions, though none of them is on hand to be a mascot.

And, finally, the North Pole was reached on this day 102 years ago by Daria and Jane. No, sorry, that should be Peary, Henson, and four Inuit men. Amazing story there. With the warming trend at the poles, soon the only way to get there will be to swim.

Interesting new directions for creative works in the fandom are still being debated.

And with that in mind...

ARTZ!

• Quinn Dandy, by MDetector5
• New Iron Chef for a one-panel comic: Place a character of your choice in a mildly embarrassing situation such that the character could say, "I meant to do that."

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 41: It's Called Boston, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Yeah, I guess I should unpack. Maybe I’ll get my friend Duke Hudson to get us some drinks.” “Finn, you don’t know anyone up here.” “Duke Hudson is the name on Finn’s fake ID.”
• NEW! Nightfalls and Sunrises, by ticknart (COMPLETE!): Well, it's been a quiet week in Lawndale, my hometown, out there on the edge of that city... [Can you guess who's talking?] ...And that's the news from Lawndale, where all the women are insidious, the men are ineffectual, and the children bewildered beyond belief.
• NEW! The Ninth Circle of Helen, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “Oh, Gerald—will you forgive me?” Helen asked me. “I was running late already – Amy and Reese are in town, and the twins were bouncing all around; there’s nothing like a pair of twelve-year-olds dueling through the house about which boy on TV is cuter, and there was a bit of a clothing disaster at breakfast.”
  
• On the Road with Mystik Spiral, by CR85747 (COMPLETE!): “Hello, Tucson!” Trent Lane bellows out. The lead guitarist of Mystik Spiral is at the Rialto Theater, Tucson's historic downtown live entertainment destination. The band is preparing to begin a set leaden with the few songs that got play on the successful MTV series Daria, concluding with their biggest-- and only--hit, “Freakin' Friends,” which made #24 on the Billboard active rock charts.
  

Line Up & Order Up!

Another major fandom holiday! Today is National Deep Dish Pizza Day! It was started by a Chicago pizza restaurant chain, so that figures, but hey, it's all for Daria, so get one and dig in.

Oddly, today is also Qing Ming, a.k.a. Tomb Sweeping Day in China (including Taiwan), which is exactly what it sounds like. However, there is more to the story than that, as it is also a real get-the-day-off holiday and is a sort of Chinese Valentine's Day, too. Cool.

NO0Z!

• Roentgen has started an intriguing Iron Chef: The Celeb Interview, in which you interview one of the Daria cast in the world today, as if they had been real people. Try it!
• What new directions can our fanworks take? Read the thread and contribute your thoughts.
  

PPMB

• NEW! Another Lawndale's Episode, by Silver (Part 1): "Something feels off." "Must be a new test." "Or a pep rally." "Or a giant robot."
  
• A Cynic in New York, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): I was waiting for Daria Morgendorffer. The one truth about Daria is that she doesn't do interviews. But somehow, I managed to get an in with her publicist and we managed to meet at Pulse, a chic cafe over Rockefeller Center for lunch and a brief chat.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): One thing was certain, this was not going to be an ordinary nuclear test.
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 41: It's Called Boston, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Finn?” Jane wondered groggily. “Daria and Tom? I must be having a very weird dream... no, I’m not covered in honey dijon dressing.”
  
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 21): Mackenzie had not hidden a knife away, but did have a stout pair of Finnish-made scissors in an inner vest pocket. "It's weird, but it's illegal to carry most knives in the City. Scissors are fine, and guns are practically required." "Aren't we law-abiding, all of a sudden," Daria said.
• NEW! Ring-a-Ling, by Doggieboy (Part 2): “Why didn’t you tell me about the obscene phone calls in the first place?” “Because, Daria said something wrong to me! That’s more important!”
  
• NEW! Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 4): A tone from his personal computer caught his attention. The readout warned of incoming X-ray and gamma radiation. The approaching pulse was massive; large enough to saturate all the facing hemisphere of the planet with enough radiation to cause moderate to severe sickness in all exposed life.
  

Outpost Daria has updated!

Just thought that was worth noting! The updates are listed here. Thank you, Martin! Enjoy!

She Is the Egg Man, Not the Walrus

Today is Easter, hope your day is filled with many chocolate ellipsoids and good tidings. And Helen Morgendorffer says this about that.

Did you know that today is also World Rat Day? No? Shame on you. It's for the pet fanciers. This day is also the anniversary of the day Congress finally settled on a design for the U.S. flag, which only took them only a few decades, of course.

Some sources claim this is School Librarian Day, which would of course fall on a Sunday and not a school day. There is disagreement over the date, though, some quoting April 23rd. Whatever. Our best to you, Kristen Bealer the fan librarian, hope you don't mind being our mascot. We have a furry suit for you somewhere around here.

Do you like nerdy girls like Daria? Check out this blog post covering "retro nerd girls" from the movies and TV. Wow, didn't know there were so many!

PPMB

• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 41: It's Called Boston, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “So anyway, I hatched this plan to get Jane to go up to BFAC and see the sights and meet some people and look at some art and...” “You are aware this plan can backfire on you in so many ways it would take too long to mention them?”
  
• RATBOY!! by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Kevvie, take that off. Your fur smells funny." "Aw, babe!" [Just in time for World Rat Day!]
• Ring-a-Ling, by Doggieboy (Part 1): “I’ll get it!” Quinn Morgendorffer yelled as the phone rang. Her older sister, Daria, lay on the couch and watched Robot Monster on the television. “Of course you will,” she muttered and chewed on some popcorn. She chuckled as bubbles came out of Ro-Man’s radio-thingy. “Ah, why can’t they make movies like this again?”

CRINGE!

Kara Wild wants to know what you think are the most cringe-worthy character moments in Daria. "I'll forgo naming a really obvious one," she writes, "and just say that I cringe whenever I think of Jane's reaction to Daria's botched hair dye job in DDMD!. 'You did it on purpose! To take Tom away from me!'" What do you think? Read and post!

What would be my response... Jane not slapping the living crap out of Daria in the same episode. Yeah, that would be it.

I came across an interesting news item on the 'net about the DVDaria release. Check it out.

PPMB

• Add-on ending to The Fight (by TheSharpie), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!):
• And Goes Well With Fish? by Sandi Griffin, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): “Picking the right color is really what fashion is all about. You want to draw the eye, but in a good way, not like those horrible chunky girls who wear orange spandex and pink tops. That just makes you look horrible."
• Anti-Trope, by Minx (continued): “Wakey wakey, hands off snakey!” Jane slowly opened the door to Dean’s bedroom and saw his sleeping form under a mess of blankets on his bed. Dean groaned and rolled over. “Go away, Quinn,” he mumbled and pulled the blankets over his face.
• Finn Morgendorffer 40: Higher Learning, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “This is the part where you tell me not to talk about my sister like that.” “I don’t when it’s true, Finn. I don’t when it’s true."
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 41: It's Called Boston, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “A trip? Where? School’s still in session.” “I know. I wanted to go to Boston.” “Finn, why on Earth would you... wait, this was the plan you thought of with Jane?” “I wanna take Jane to BFAC. I want her to tour the campus, to see the sights. Talk with people really learning art. Not drunks like Lindy.”
  
• Fragments of an unnamed tale, by Staticblast (COMPLETE!): "You are now entering hell, Mr. Pickman." Daria gives a slight smile. "Please keep your limbs in the carriage." (Daria/Call of Cthulhu)
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 21): For Quinn, this was the moment of truth. Normally, one goes through five stages of mourning but Quinn was still stuck on the second stage - anger. She hated this whole stupid system at Fielding. She hated the snobby people. She hated the mean old teachers. She hated the endless attempts to need to keep up. She hated the stupid lack of fashion sense. She hated Pat Seven. She hated Sue Bentley and she hated Patty Clark and she hated Claire Davidson and she hated Jill Yardborough. When I get out of here, I'm going back to public school and no amount of money in the world will get me to go to private school again.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 7): The man smiled broadly. “Thanks, Captain,” he said extending his hand. “Charles Ruttheimer.” “Jacob Morgendorffer,” Jake answered as he shook hands. (FF.net)
• Lawndale's Finest: Action Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North (continued): "Look," she said, "my fault or not, I think we need to just stop and take a moment here. This whole 'hold Lawndale hostage for money' thing . . . the zap you got must have scrambled you up or something. If you just come with me to S.T.A.R. Labs, they can try and get you sorted—"
• Musings on "The Last Virus," by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Despite my better judgment, and based on the most likely faulty judgment of my peers, I am submitting the enclosed short story "The Last Virus" for potential publication in Musings. One can only hope that your eventual rejection will only lead me into a gradual but inevitable spiral of alcoholism and drug abuse to blot out the pain instead of outright hanging myself from a rafter in my house.

Apocalypse? And How!

This day marks the 86th birthday of justly famed actor Marlon Brando, who gets some subtle mention in Daria. Brando's famous role as a renegade Army officer in Apocalypse Now is parodied in the alter ego with Timothy O'Neill at right. (See this image for comparison.) Other scenes from that movie are referenced in "The Daria Hunter," particular with Mr. DeMartino's dark imitation (below left) of Brando as the insane officer of Apocalypse Now.

I was poking around in MTV.com and noticed two startling news items about Marlon Brando and... wait for it... Beavis and Butt-head. You have to read these two (here and here) to get it. Whoa! That's just bizarre!

What else is going on... I'll have to post all the new fanfiction here later today. Stay tooned for moar.

Serious Business

Now that April Fool's Day is over, we can move on to Serious Business. Today is both International Children's Book Day and National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. You can celebrate by making yourself lunch and reading a book. Read about the history of the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, in fact.

Most importantly, today marks the ninth anniversary of the premiere of "Art Burn," in which Jane proves herself an expert art forger. And she has an infinite love of money. Do the math. A great career is born!

And now on to other things.

PPMB

• Anti-Trope, by Minx (continued): “So you chose to wake me up,” Dean replied as he sat up. “Nice... What time is it anyway?” “Ten a.m.,” Jane said. “I felt like annoying someone and you seemed as good a choice as any.” She shrugged and smiled mischievously at him.
• Cynic and Violence, by Peapotmaster (COMPLETE!): "Here is a Muppet News Flash! It has been confirmed that football players are mysteriously becoming stupid due to something in the school’s water supply. One football player had this to say." "I'm on TV?" "Yes." "Hi, Brittany! I’m on the Muppet Show!"
  
• The Fight, by TheSharpie (COMPLETE!): “You ****!” shouted Daria, “What, Q wasn't enough for you? You had to take the one guy who made me happy too? I thought we had finally become friends, not just sisters!”
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 40: Higher Learning, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): It depressed Finn more than a little that Jane would be going somewhere so far away, but truly, Finn knew it was for the best. Jane needed to succeed, she deserved to succeed. Anything Finn could do to assist that, he had to.
• Surprise, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "We wanted to tell you in person Jane. I'm pregnant and Trent and I are getting married." Daria showed Jane the ring.

Moar Aprl Phule N00Z!!11!!111!

This post will fill up as the day goes on, so check back when possible.

Brother Grimace just reminded me of a little prank he pulled a year ago that almost sent me into Intensive Care. Such a booger. Very glad he's still around because I'm going to drop carnivorous ants in his pants at some undefined point in the future. Love you, man!

Richard Lobinske has just announced that he is going to rewrite his epic Falling into College series with all of the Daria characters as undead flesh-eating ghouls, as per the recent Pride and Prejudice and Zombies novel. Not to be outdone, Roentgen and Brother Grimace announced they were going to rewrite the entire Legion of Lawndale Heroes epic in the same manner, then were stunned to discover that Kristen Bealer had already done so. Rumor is that the dispute will be settled by dance-off instead of arm-wrestling, once it became known that Kristen could bench-press 400 lbs.

Kara Wild has left Daria fandom to write My Little Pony slashfic. Probably for the best.

smk has announced she is changing her name to SMK because of problems with her spell-checker.

Australian Daria fans are being asked to have their fanfiction and fan art appear upside down on the Internet in order to allow fans in the northern hemisphere to view their work in the correct perspective. So far no one has complained.

PPMB updates on the 4/1 situation may be found here.

ALERT! Angelinhel has started an April Fool's Day Iron Chef on PPMB! Go and see!

N00Z UPDAT!!!

• Jim North has cooties. Ugly ones. Click here and see.
  
• South American and South African Daria fans have asked whether they, too, should turn their fanworks upside down for the benefit of those of a northern hemisphere persuasion. They have been told no, this is an April Fool joke on Australia, but they objected so much to being left out that they too are now mandated to turn their fanworks upside down.
• Jim North's cooties have destroyed New Jersey. Details on these and other stories at twenty past the hour.
• Liz Ruiz wants moobs.
• PPMB is in mourning now that the last man-whore in North America is retiring.
• A link to artwork for Kara Wild's first My Little Pony porn novel has been posted above. NSFW or anything else. But you'll click it anyway. You know you will.
• Anne D. Bernstein has posted new artwork. This is not actually an April Fool thing, but enjoy it anyway.
• Jim North's cooties are now on strike and demanding a dental plan.
• NEW! Here is a review of Daria 2: The Curse of the Misery Chick, which came out last year. See if you agree with the reviewer.
  

Stay tuned for further updates. You may of course add your own news updates to Comments below.

A Little Song, A Little Dance, A Little Wedgie in Your Pants

Happy April Fool's Day to you all. Jesters are the logos and mascots for the day.

This blog has popped a couple or two 4/1 stunts in the past. It's amazing how many April Fool's stunts have been pulled on the Internet as a whole, including:

• April Fool's Day RFC
• Fossil Fool's Day (not such an April Fool thing)
• Pigasus Award
• Edible Book Festival
• Google's Hoaxes

This day has at least one website devoted to it, though I am partial to the Museum of Hoaxes and especially to one of the best prank-busters of all time, Snopes.com. Well worth a look for your enlightenment.

I'd still like to know what April Fool's Day is like at Holiday Island High, whether a prankster or some ironic twist on the same.Only one Daria fanfic I can find is actually attuned to April Fool's Day, that being Richard Lobinske's "I Meant to Do That." I did find a nice Liliane Grenier artwork of Trent as a court jester on Outpost Daria, but no other jesters.

It's been three years to this day since all the appliances on Earth took over and enslaved humanity. You'd think someone would notice.

Would Mack Mackenzie make a good businessman? What kind of business would he be in? Add your comments to the thread!

The supervillain named Valwire has been captured... in Jim North's artwork! Excellent!

The above item appears here. An old collectible. Darn.

FF.net

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Dying on the Inside, by Minx (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Mata Dari, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.] (OD)
  
• A Night of Bells (But No Whistles), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Shieldmaiden, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]
• Storytime, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): [Previously appeared on PPMB.]

PPMB

• NEW! Falling into College: The Clip Show, by Richard Lobnske (Part 1): "Hi, I’m your host, Karen Myerson. Right here in front of Fenderson Hall, what seems like the best place to start our show."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 40: Higher Learning, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Fantastic. Now all we need is a flat tire, Daria thought. It didn’t come to pass when she thought it, not like the TV shows. But this was bad enough on its own.
• NEW! Fragments of an Unnamed Tale, by Staticblast (Part 1): "It has been eight years now, since my family left the south to move here, and seven-and-a-half since I became fast friends with the artist, Jane Lane. My father was, and still is, considered strange by the community for having me tutored at home, and insane for doing the same for her. As you know, she has been both reviled and praised for her illustrations and paintings of the contents of the seven cryptical books of Hsan, named a genius and claimed to be in need of an alienist." [Part 2 here!]
  
• John Lane 45: Haunted by the Past, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "The girls of Lawndale owe you big time, Daria," Quinn said before hurrying away.
• NEW! (Semi)Permanent Reminder, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria awoke in a semi-dark room, the morning air cool and still. After a good stretch she moved the sheet off her legs and stood. She wore a thin white sports bra and boy shorts, which she straightened as she walked to the bathroom. On the door was a sheet of white paper, a message printed across the center of the page: LOCK THE DOOR