Triple Word Score on "Friggatriskaidekaphobia"!

Happy National Scrabble Day! Today's the day to pull out the old board and lay down some tiles--even if you haven't been grounded by the distinguished members of Family Court.

But be careful, as today is also Friday the 13th! The Angst Guy used Friday the 13th as a character from Holiday Island in his fanfic A Hard Days' Night. Don't walk under any ladders or break any mirrors! Seriously, on that last one--the Fashion Club would kill you.

Finally it was on this day in 1997 that San Francisco Sunday Examiner & Chronicle published an interview with Daria. Check it out to see Our Heroine in the early days, before the fame went to her head! Or something.

Fanfic Update!

• Andrea's Tears, by BrownEyedBagel (part 2): "I’m in a lot of pain right now, and that is an understatement. It’s been three months since I had a drink, and to be honest I’m sure as hell thinking about having one. I scream at no one in particular, the person I want to be yelling at isn’t here. To my credit, I’m not crying. Not this time."


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "PA: Attention! Attention! A state of emergency has been declared! All residents are to proceed to their nearest emergency shelter immediately in a calm and orderly fashion! Do not attempt to evacuate the colony! Repeat, a state of emergency... DARIA: Not that you seem like the type to listen to authority, but shouldn't we be looking for a shelter right now? JANE: Fuck that shit. We're blowing this joint."


• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (part 9): "Paul looked at his girlfriend as she set the handset down. 'Rita, why are you doing this?' She glared at him. 'Because they're family, goddammit.' She set her hands on the table. 'I deserve a bigger piece of that pie then the measly ten thousand that that little bitch gave me. If they don't want to give it to me nicely, I guess I'll have to act like a Barksdale and work my way into it.'"


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 11): "The bar was not that full, maybe because it was still relatively early, maybe because the weather had made everyone stay home. In the back I saw Susan sitting at a small table with three other men. She was flashing plenty of cleavage and had put on plenty of makeup, which I could see even from a distance. She spotted me and I waved hello and walked back towards her."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 2): "I took my backpack and walked to the door. That morning we have a magnificent sun. I had enough time to pick up Jane, I left that my legs carried me on the path of every day. What pain did my father have kept deep down in his heart?"


• Educator DeMartino in: DARIA DEATH LIVES (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Charles RB (part 2): "NIKKI: Ewwwww! NERDS! And they SMELL funny! TORI: They're not popular at ALL, I don't know what they're- Panel 2. The crowd get a better look at the Judges and start freaking - Daria has grabbed someone and is shoving them into the chip bowl. BRITTANY: AAAAA! They're not NORMAL NERDS!"


• The Fight (Otherwise known as One J at a Time) (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn, Best Friends), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'I'm a failure,' Quinn said. 'No your not. I may have given you unrealistic expectations on what being in a relationship intails,' Daria said. 'Wait a second that can't be right. I went to you for serious advice and you lied to me,' Quinn said looking confused."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 7): "'Hmmm. I’m not sure where to start with this one. Wait, no, got it: security guards do go and tell people where they can and can’t stand. It’s a way of guarding a place in a secure manner. That’s why we’re called security guards.' 'I thought we just sat around doing nothing.' 'Ideally, but if someone tells us to do our jobs we have to actually go and do them,' explained Steve. 'Otherwise we get fired and then have to work in a harder job. This is where I’ve seen guards get it wrong.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (part 3): "'I wonder what we’re having today,' Jane said. 'How about a serving of Charles,' said a sleazy voice. Daria’s head turned and saw a guy with red hair and a fancy suit. She could feel the power radiating off of him, and could tell he was a skilled magic user. She turned to Jane to ask who this guy was when she saw that Jane had a look of pure lust in her eyes. Suddenly Daria’s body was hit by a sharp shock."


• Life After Highland Ch. 2: 3 of Swords, by LadieT (part 2): "The drive to school was very quiet. After they parked, Quinn watched her older sister walk away and sighed. She was torn - she genuinely liked her aunt, but knew that both her mother and Amy had valid points. What concerned her the most though was Daria's reaction to the conversation."


• The Mageborn Cynic (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by peetz5050 (parts 2 and 3): "'May I offer a warm welcome to all of you on this fine Autumn day. As I'm sure you know through diligence and effort this college has achieved a reputation as the premier educational center for the Mageborn on this continent. I expect nothing less than a like application of diligence and effort from each of you as you progress through your courses. Proper education is an opportunity to be seized and built upon. There are books of rules governing conduct in this establishment but I have two rules you must remember: Work hard and don't die'." (Part 3)


• A Resentful Cynic ch. 2 No Party . No Problem, by ST91 (part 5): "'Come on Daria, don’t be like that. You'll see, you will enjoy yourself.” Said Jane. 'Or at least you’ll have a pleasant evening.' Andrea said with a wink. 'I don’t think I will.' Daria said. 'Why?' Andrea and Jane asked in chorus. 'Quinn is coming.' Daria said, pointing out with her finger the red head girl who approached them very quickly."


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 2): "'She's coming out of the coma, Doctor.' Hm. Bright lights. I guess there is a Heaven, after all...wait. Why would Heaven need a doctor?"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "(Daria and Jane are minding their own buisness when Brittany slowly edges up to them sobbing silently) Daria:'...Brittany...(sighs) is everything OK?' Brittany:' NO! Everything's NOT OK! I'm pregnant!'"

"Sweet Quinn" Just Doesn't Have the Same Ring to It

Today is Barbershop Quartet Day, so the three Js are a quartet minus one. That won't stop them; they're singing their devotion to Quinn in perfect harmony...or so we hope.

This is also the 112th anniversary of the first official U.S. submarine design. I mention this not only as a fun little fact, but also as an excuse to link to the late, great Guy "Decelaraptor" Payne's hilarious fanfic "The Blue and Yellow Submarine." Enjoy!

Fandom News!

• Check out the latest news from the International Space Station. A very important experiment is underway!


• LongSnakeMoan confesses having a thing for Anthony DeMartino.


• Post your stupid movie ideas in a new thread.


• What do you think are the dumbest music videos? Post them for everyone to mock!


• Matt Groening has revealed the location of Springfield on The Simpsons. But it's not a suburb of Baltimore.


• Jim North has updated The Colossal World's Shortest Crossover Reference List. Thanks, Jim!

Fore! Cool.

Happy Golfer's Day! Jesse does seem pretty happy playing the game, and even seems uncharacteristically alert. Perhaps he's found his true calling? Anyway, this is probably one of Jake's favorite holidays, but probably not so much for Jodie. Still, you might find her at the Winged Tree Country Club for one of her golf lessons, fulfilling yet another parental obligation.

Today is also Siblings Day, and whether or not Quinn will celebrate the holiday depends on where in the series you find her. Perhaps Helen will call Amy or Rita in observance of the day, and maybe she'll even mend a few rifts in the process. And maybe Kevin will be accepted into Crestmore.

Fanfic Update!

• Andrea's Tears, by BrownEyedBagel (part 1): "The flask in my hand starts to feel heavy. I am doing better than them. I am better than them! What’s more, I’m at least honest about my feelings. I’m not letting myself be defined by my family’s expectations or what that bitch Anglia Li wants me to be for the reputation of that damned school. For the first time in days I smile. I’m free. Alone... but free..."


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 9): "EXT: Lawndale High. Trent, still in Active Optical Camouflage mode rockets toward the building, leaping into the air and crashing through a wall. INT: Mr. Ewing is quietly putting together some papers in preparation for next period's math class. The papers go flying and Ewing screams in terror as Trent crashes through the wall and becomes visible, the long rifle strapped to his back. TRENT: Oops. Wrong room."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (COMPLETE!): "After the doctor left, the room fell into silence. Sandi and Linda stared at each other, waiting for the other to start speaking first. With a slight push from Helen behind her, Linda went first. 'Sandi,' Linda started. 'I’m sorry about what I said earlier, but...' She was about to continue, but after receiving a look from Judy on the other side of the room, she just ended with, 'never mind.'"


• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (part 8): "'Hey, I've got an idea. Instead of licking stamps for the Congressman all summer like I did last year, why don't I get Dad to cover me going with you to "network overseas?"' She made the quote motions with her fingers. 'Then, either you or Jane, or both, could sleep in a suite by yourself. Everybody wins.' Daria brought her finger to her lips. 'You know, that may not be such a bad idea,' She was about to say more when they caught sight of Jane with her arm around Brittany's shoulders as the blonde was sobbing into her embrace."


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (part 1): "Both of them went back to the cats and squatted next to them. Daria scratched Bump behind the ears while Michael rubbed the bridge of Sissy's nose. Daria said, 'Please don't trash the house while we're gone. My friend Cat will stop by tomorrow to check on you and then we'll be back sometime on Sunday.' Bump looked up. 'Reroewr.' 'Okay, just take some pity on your poor staff and not make too much of a mess.'"


• Cinderella By Sandi Griffin (Iron Chef - Homework assignments - Fairy Tales), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time there was a wonderful woman who had left her husband because he was such a loser brain and didn't understand how important staying in fashion was and so gave her trouble about buying ten new outfits a week."


• Conjuration Fallacy (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Charles sighed. 'My dear friends, how do you ever possibly expect to become a great wizard if you do nothing but what our instructors tell us to do?' 'I suppose you have a better idea?' one of the others asked. Charles leaned forward. After a moment he realized none of the other wizards were going to move, and motioned them to lean in. After they got the hit (which took a while), he said, 'Have you ever heard of a spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom?'"


• Daria DeMartino: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'Please Ms. Li,' she started before Ms. Li interrupted her. 'You should have thought of that before testing out of the class without my permission. Keep this in mind for now on and we will get along just fine,' Ms. Li said. 'Yes Ms. Li,' Daria said through gritted teeth as her eyes bulged obscenely."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 35): "'Ready for this?' asked Jane. 'As ready as I...' started Daria, but she was cut off by Jake snatching Daria off her feet into a hug. 'Daria! I am so glad you’re safe!' exclaimed Jake as he hugged his daughter. 'Dad.. can’t... breathe...'"


• Educator DeMartino in: DARIA DEATH (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Charles RB (part 1): "DARIA: My name isssss DARIA DEATH. DARIA: Don'tttt worrrrry, I'm jusssst hear to KILL you, nottt subjeeect you to furtherrrr YAMMERRINGGG ASSSSAULT from thisss quote mussssiccc unquote."


• Figures... (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Against a backdrop showing a jumble of lines pointing toward the Earth, the TV announcer said, 'While there has not been an official response, unofficial reports from the Pentagon and Space Command have confirmed that almost one hundred small Near-Earth Asteroids are being directed toward Earth by an alien intelligence....'"


• The Fox and The Cat by Stacy Rowe (Iron Chef - Homework assignments - Fairy Tales), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time, a fox and a cat who had been raised as siblings moved into a new forest. The fox was quite attractive, and many of the buy animals in the forest wanted to date her, and she gladly did - but they had to fetch the finest foods for her, and let her sit in the sunny spots or the warm places, and they were never allowed to sniff at her tail."


• Go Away, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "An eatery of sorts; the food here sucks. Still it makes for a good hiding place I guess. Still I have to ask myself: What the hell am I doing here?"


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 6): "'I don’t see why I have to be bait.' 'Well, I’m holding the camera and taser, Erin’s holding the mike, and Dallas didn’t want to come. Sorry, sprat.' And so Daria sighed her way through the forests of south New Jersey, a pork chop round her neck, muttering 'wooo. Hello. I am dinner.'"


• Her Heart Will Go Smart (Iron Chef: Titanic), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "She sighed. Well, the view was nice, at least. She leaned out farther over the railing to see better---but unfortunately, did so just as the ship seemed to hit a rough patch of water, causing it to lurch slightly. She let out a cry and almost slipped, only to feel somebody grab her by the back of her dress and pull her back onto the deck. 'Whoa! Careful there.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (parts 1 and 2): "'Did we move?' Daria asked. Daria scowled a bit. Somehow even in a world with magic where being stupid could get one killed looks still played far to big a role in popularity. Which was why Illusion spells were so popular. It was an easy school to learn and the stupid gravitated towards it. She looked at her sister with a mixture of disgust and pity." (Part 2)


• Magic Talking Sea Life to the Rescue! (And Some Mice Too) (Iron Chef: Titanic), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "Jane stopped her frantic search on the deck long enough to stare at the huge pink tentacle that had wrapped itself around the ship, holding the broken halves together as it sank into the water. 'Okay. And here I thought this trip couldn't get any weirder,' she muttered."


• A New Beginning (IC Runaway Daria), by LadieT (part 5): "Quinn heard the voice coming from the younger girl's mouth and froze. It can't be her. It just can't. Quinn studied the younger girl. The girl turned and looked at Quinn. Quinn began to pale when she saw the girl's eyes - no her mother's eyes behind the glasses."


• The Night at Joe's, by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Not for the first time Jake felt a little bit of bile rise in his throat. How could she be doing this to them. He and Helen had been happy, well happish, once. Then she came along and decided she was better then every other damn person that crossed her path. She must have inhearted it from Mad-dog for it sure as hell wasn't from him."


• The Prep, the Artist and the Loner, by Walter Kovacs (part 3): "With a conspiratorial look on his face, Tom remarked 'Speaking of ignorant idiots...' 'Oh?' asked Daria who was curious about where the conversation was going. 'I need your help on coming up with ideas for making a date so bad that the person will never ask me out again' explained Tom."


• A Resentful Cynic ch. 2 No Party . No Problem, by ST91 (parts 2 - 4): "'Ok Daria, I'll give you that, Quinn was not invited by Brittany, but the fact that she has been invited demonstrates how useful it is to be perky and sociable like her, to make important friendships. You should try to do be a bit more like your sister.' Said Helen. 'Yes kiddo, looks at Quinn ; she has a lot of friends, everybody loves her.' Jake said, spreading salt on the wound. 'Sorry, not interested.' Daria said as she got up and went to her room. Once she arrived there, Daria closed the door and began to punch the wall." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 14, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'The family who made me this... this monster in the first place...' She sighed, 'He thought he was saving me... but what's being saved if I have to feed off the blood of the living?' Tears coming to her eyes she looked down, 'It defeats my purpose of being a doctor, really.... If I'm supposed to help the ill, why do I have to feed off the well?'"


• Sleeping Beauty: By Jodie Landon (Iron Chef - Homework assignments - Fairy Tales), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time a King and Queen had a baby daughter. Approximately three to seven fairies were invited to be the baby's godmothers and bestowed on her stereotypical gifts of feminine accomplishment, such as beauty, grace, musical talent and so on."


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A thin filament of blue light streamed for an instant through the twin front doors of the Landon residence - and blinked out immediately as a man stepped into the foyer. He was a slender man in his late forties, balding and bespectacled, with a drawn, yet probing expression on his face that made him remind onlookers of a particularly severe schoolmaster - and the walking stick he carried, as well as the sporty tweed cap and jacket, made him seem as if he were simply visiting during a day trip to the country."


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Now ladies, I know it is not easy for you to adjust to a new home and a new school, especially for you, am I not correct Daria?' He looked pointedly at his eldest daughter. 'Did we move?' she answered sarcastically 'I declare Father I had scarce noticed, the horse dung smells the same here... as do the people'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Twins), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "Daria: That's right, older sister. We're twins, and Quinn is older by seven minutes. She failed a grade, so that's why you haven't seen us in class together. Yes, that's right twins. Identical twins in fact."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Finally ready to move to the main act of the show, Kandy reached forward to grab a fistful of the girl's jacket in her tightly coiled fist. 'I saaaaaaid-' Kandy repeated but managed to get no farther."


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 10): "The only response from Mrs. Manson was a reproachful, prolonged, withering stare. Realizing that to look away meant conceding defeat, I continued to sit silently meeting her stare with – what I hoped was – a confident expression on my face and, not defiantly but determinedly, prepared to wait her out. After several moments the previously stern look upon Mrs. Manson's face softened and was then replaced with a pleasant, appreciative smile."

I Don't Even Want to Know What He's Smiling About!

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates the holiday! Joey is providing the eggs for today's hunt, but I'm not sure I'd want to touch them. Save a chocolate bunny for me, though!

I could post a list of Easter-related fanfic and fanart, but Mistress Thea did such a great job that I'll just link to her list. Thanks, Thea!

Fandom News!

• Quiverwing had an eye-opening trip and has shared her story as well as photos.


• WTF could this be? See the thread to watch the video and share your answer.


• Roentgen shares some advice on writing from C. S. Lewis.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Walter Kovacs's Ethan Morgendorffer and cfardell_Brenorenz29's Titanic.

Well, That's It, Then. Helen Finally Snapped.

Happy National No Housework Day! For some of us, that's just about every day. As for myself, well, let's keep that between me and the dust bunnies, okay?

Today is also the anniversary of the original airings of both "This Year's Model" in 1997 and "I Loathe a Parade" in 2000. In both episodes, the Fashion Club find themselves in awkward situations, so Daria probably enjoys them quite a bit. Except for that whole Tom foreshadowing thing at the end of "I Loathe a Parade."

Fanfic Update!

• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (parts 2 - 7): "Daria looked down at Jake, then kneeled until their eyes were level. 'Jane and I are getting married.' Seeing the blood drain from his face, she started to giggle and waved her hands. 'No, no, that's not it, but I got you, didn't I?' Jake's mouth opened and closed a few times, and his face flushed. Finally, he was able to force out a reply. 'I guess you did, kiddo. But what's the news?' 'Well, Dad, did you hear about the lottery drawing yesterday?'" (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Blast (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "The coming dust storm was awe-inspiring even in these apocalyptic times. The vast wall of rolling yellow was miles away but now it reached from the horizon to the sky's zenith, reducing all before it to insignificance. Dry air blew errant strands of sun-bleached hair over Brittany's face as she slowly chewed a bit of salty jerky, watching the storm's approach."


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 29 and 30): "Sith Warrior: Meets another Sith Warrior 'What’s the situation?' Another Sith Warrior: 'Darth Krayt wants Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany killed.' Sith Warrior: 'I was hoping he’d order that.' Sith Warriors: Run off." (Part 30)


• Daddies Here Sweetheart (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "'Hey kiddo,' slipped past his lips as he past the threshold. Bloody footprints left behind, showing his path. She raised her head and looked at him with her beautiful green eyes, auburn hair sticking to her sweat covered face. He raised his the double action revolver and leveled it at her. 'Don't worry kiddo, daddy will make everything fine again.'"


• Daria DeMartino: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (part 4): "'That’s all well and good but I never said I’d get you the bugs. We can’t just spy on people,' Helen said. 'Come on now you’re a lawyer,' Daria said. 'Fine I’ll go grab some out of my room,' Helen said."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 1): "I was weakened with the long march. I wasn't trained to survive in the jungle, soon I came down with fever. But a soldier from Buxton took care of me. His name was Robert. –Don't worry, my man, I'll stay with you... Here, take my part. –Thanks, Robert... But you have to eat too... –Forget it! I'm not going to let you die in this ****!"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 3b): "Harvey had got as far as pointing out an old bell tower that made Dylan think of Charles Whitman, when Kris asked to be shown where the sororities were. 'Don’t you mean the fraternities?' 'Oh no', Dylan said, 'my brother knows exactly what he’s looking for.'"


• Girl Grope (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'The entire point of all of you here is that you five together make...the ultimate girl band!' The five looked at each other...and then starting laughing."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 7), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "At 11:30 after she had come home from the Zon, Daria heard the phone ring in her room. She picked it up. 'Hello?' 'This is Daria Morgendorffer?' the person asked him a strange accent less voice. 'This is she, and you are?' Daria asked, suspiciously. 'You do not need to know at the moment, Daria.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Reven384 (part 1): "'Did we move?' Daria asked. Daria scowled a bit. Somehow even in a world with magic where being stupid could get one killed looks still played far to big a role in popularity. Which was why Illusion spells were so popular. It was an easy school to learn and the stupid gravitated towards it. She looked at her sister with a mixture of disgust and pity."


• A Mothers Love, by ash_blackfire (part 11): "'Miss. Barksdale, have a seat.' a man in his mid forties with glasses and a slight belly said Amy entered the room. ' Your case is strange to say the least. The Lanes are like a myth around the offices here. You added another page to the growing book of "Lane Tails" we have. You also offer part of a conclusion to one as well.' the man said with hope and slight sarcasm in his voice."


• A Resentful cynic ch. 2 No party . No problem, by ST91 (part 1): "I never thought that I would say it ... at least not before being in Boston with Aunt Amy ... but I'm happy. Moving to Lawndale was the best thing that ever happened to me. But let me put things in order."


• Salted Popcorn (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "As Daria walked out of the movie theater, she licked the last of the salty taste from her fingers. She just LOVED movie theater popcorn."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 14, by Fhujeth_x (parts 2.5 and 3): "Melissa Jel walked through the corridors of the hospital at an impatient pace, trying hard to find her childhood friend and flatmate, Kristen. Sure living with a ghost was weird, but Kristen needed a place to watch her television shows and keep herself entertained while waiting for something to happen in her stagnant afterlife. 'This can't be happening.' She looked around as she hoped to find her ghostly friend, 'Michael didn't tell me they'd be in this town.'" (Part 3)


• Shipwrecked, by Solaris (part 1): "She spun around, coming face to face with a tall man in dark robes standing a dozen feet away from her. 'Who are you? What's going on?' she asked. 'Isn't it obvious? You're having a dream.' 'No, I've experienced lucid dreams before, and they never felt like this. Besides,' she said, pointing up, 'those are my dreams.' The man smiled, 'Correct. This is a place one step removed from dreams. Well spotted. This may prove to be very promising.'"


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 1): "To Cadet Daria Morgendorffer: Change of orders. All other assignments suspended for 48 hours pursuant to collaboration with FNS reporter re: interviews. Daria read an addendum at the end of the message: Make the Academy look good, Morgendorffer. It's good to know that the spirit of Ms. Li lives on, she thought wryly."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 5): "'Daria, why are you giving him the stats of my computer instead of yours?' 'Your old dot matrix printer is already on its lasts legs, and all the extra work I have forced on it does not help at all, so I thought about getting a new one to replace it.' Almost at once Daria became aware of her mistake. Jane face was showing her anger for everyone to see and her words held some real venom on them. 'Look I don’t need your god damn charity, just leave that thing there and leave me alone with you’re on it. Okay?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria/Real Steel), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "The newly-painted Black Knight stepped into a massive tunnel that led into the arena. The robot stepped into the light and the crowd cheered. His opponent stepped into the arena and received a similar greeting, mostly from the former football players and cheerleaders. The two machines stopped to face each others."


• Unnamed story (PLOT BUNNIES: free to good home), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part ): "'A short-cut?' Daria asked, with incredulity. 'Yeah,' Tom said. 'I doubt it, the layout of Lawndale is such that the only way to get to my place from here any quicker would be to fly or go under the ground,' Daria said. Tom smiled 'Funny you should mention that, Daria,' he said. He lead her towards the basement... Daria wondered what Tom was up to."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'I can explain!' cried a weeping Daria. 'No bother!' screamed Jane. 'I've finally figured it out. You turned my hair carrot orange just so you could finally have your Scooby Gangbang fantasy. I should have figured it out sooner when I saw Tom buy that ugly ascot.'"

Let's Hope Artie Won't Be Delivering It!

Happy National Deep Dish Pizza Day, pizza lovers! I don't know if either Pizza Prince or Pizza Forest serve deep dish pizza, but I'm sure Daria will be happy to settle for the ordinary kind if no other is available. Just as long as they add the extra quart of grease to the recipe and no giant woodland creatures try to sing at her.

Fandom News!

• Discuss and post best wishes about the tornadoes that hit the Dallas/Fort Worth area.


• What great things about Cincinnati can you tell Kara Wild about?


• Do you find soccer or other sports boring? Roentgen shares a theory about why.


• peapotmaster posted some classic ABC Weekend Specials. Do you remember them?


• Adam Sandler won every Razzie for 2011. Join the discussion in the thread!


• Vote in the poll to decide which story you want ST91 to write next!


• DocForbin shares a poem he wrote.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: JPAGC's Daria character wins lottery prize and echopapa's Daria/Real Steel.

Horizontal Stripes and Primary Colors? Ewwwwww.

On this day in 1818, the U.S. Flag had a bit of an upgrade. Instead of adding both a star and a stripe for each state, the stripes would remain at thirteen and only stars would be added. This is the current procedure for the flag, and it's a good thing. Fifty stripes would be very hard to cram in, especially for someone like Tiffany. Do we even know for sure if that girl can count past three?

In a sadder anniversary, it was on this day in 1968 that Martin Luther King, Jr., was assassinated. The world lost a great man, but his legacy has continued on. Rest in peace, Dr. King.

Fanfic Update!

• April Fool's Day (Iron Chef: April's fool), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Daria! What are you doing up so early?' 'Early?' Daria glanced out the window and saw that it was still pitch black out. 'What time is it?' '5:27.' 'Quinn,' Daria muttered. 'Should have seen that coming.' 'What?' Helen asked, confused. She glanced at the calender and smiled. 'Ah, it's April Fools Day. I guess someone got you.'"


• April Fool's Joke The Kiss (Iron Chef: April's fool), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn read the note again. She considered ignoring it, but she couldn't pass up the chance to date a rich hottie who'd make her even more popular. Even if she had to give up one little kiss. What harm could it do?"


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 8): "TRENT: Janey! There's been a change of plans. It has to go down today. Get out of there now!"


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 8): "Finally, after fifteen minutes of walking, the redhead saw the house where John’s apartment was located. A cryptic smile appeared on her face and she thought, You’re almost there, girl. You’re almost there. Get in, get the stuff, and get back to class. He’ll never know you were here, and then you can see him tonight."


• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (part 1): "Jane slipped her hand into her pocket, and pulled something out. 'Oh, before I forget, happy birthday!' She handed it to Daria. 'A lottery ticket?' Jane looked slightly ashamed. 'Can you forgive me? I'm trying to save up for BFAC, and it's going to be tight.' She grinned. 'On the other hand, the jackpot's gonna be over $650 million, they say, almost $500 million if you choose lump sum.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 27 and 28): "Stacy: Nods 'Yeah, poor girl.' Agitated 'Oh god, the midichlorians, we injected ourselves with the same midichlorians we injected into Nallok!' Darth Krayt: scornful 'Yes. Nice one. But wait, it gets better. The latest batches of death sticks Maladi's department sold made their users force active. We now have flying ravers sharing their hallucinations.' Quinn: 'Death sticks?' frowns 'Who takes drugs from something actually called a death stick?'" (Part 28)


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 34): "Jane spoke up. 'We are looking for her sister.' She said, pointing to Tilly. 'Daria?' asked the librarian. 'Yeah. You know her by name?' asked Jane. 'Of course. She used to come in here quite often. However, over the past couple of weeks, I haven’t seen her. Then, yesterday, she comes in. She looked different. I asked her where she had been, and she muttered something and kept walking.' Said the librarian."


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 10): "But then I saw it. It looked just like a journal I kept in high school. Leatherbound, with creamy, unlined paper, it was beautiful in an age when everything was going to the lowest common denominator. I put down the basket and picked it up in both hands to feel the weight. I put it up to my nose and took in a deep breath. The smell took me back to high school."


• DW: The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "'I am the Doctor, and you are trying to take over Ilkona for your own ends! For what purpose are you doing this?' 'For what purpose, you ask, Doctor? I answer with a question of my own. Why not?' the person who was attempting to take over Ilkona said, in response. 'I ask you, right now, to give up your plans to take over this planet!' the Doctor said, with a warning tone."


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 1): "'Well ... at least we're almost there ... I recognize the neighborhood.' They continued to walk, until eventually reaching an unpaved little street that connected the main road with a house built on the top of a nearby hill. There they stopped , standing side by side while gazing at it."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 5): "Quinn staggered back into the house, confusion like a rash on her face. 'Mum? Dad? Do security guards count as The Man?' Helen and Jake paused in the act of playing Scrabble – Jake had got 'tosspot' on a triple word score – and began to think this over."


• Just Kidding (Iron Chef: April's fool), by januense (COMPLETE!): "It was a stunning bright night and the moon reflected its rays on the surface of a little lake. On the border there's a little restaurant with a porch just in front of the water, where little circular tables with a single candle lit on each one, host some couples in search of a romantic set."


• Memory Lane, by echopapa (COMPLETE!): "One day, Jane was sitting in a chair turned backwards sketching Zimmerman and Maddox preparing for another round of tests on Jane's memory core. She was just finishing drawing the pair as Frankenstein and Igor, with her as the Monster, when Zimmerman's combadge chirped. 'USS Voyager to Doctor Zimmerman. Request permission for three to beam down to your location.'"


• A Mothers Love, by ash_blackfire (part 10): "The past can play tricks on you. Amy thought as she saw the man who had be just a boy sitting across from her. Over they years not much had changed about his outward appearance. His hair cut almost the same .He was still lanky. It reminded her of his dad when he was younger. His personality was something that had changed by far."


• My Heart Will Go On (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Hello Jack. I changed my mind. They said you might be out here.'"


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'To be honest, I was watching you because you don't look like one of those people,' said Daria. 'What people?' asked a confused Quinn. 'You know ... lonely people like you. Since you're an only child.' Daria said, while a grin of satisfaction appeared on her face."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 14, by Fhujeth_x (parts 1 and 2): "Wearily and not very pleased, Quinn Morgendorffer came to the window and opened it up, glancing downwards at the two Griffin boys who were so rudely awakening her from her beauty sleep. She yawned, rubbing her eyes, 'Sam?' She blinked, trying to make sure who they were, 'Chris?' She didn't really want to speak to them but she knew how persistent and totally obnoxious they were, 'What do you guys want?'" (Part 2)


• Steven (A genderswap never before done), by ST91 (part 1): "'Steven dear , thanks again for helping us to choose these swimsuits.' said Sandi Griffin , president of Lawndale fashion club ."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A girl's allowed to fantasize, Helen sighed, looking at the parade of swaying man-flesh less than five feet in front of her - of course I'm going to be front row for this!"


• Vivian (Iron Chef: Vivian Taylor), by ST91 (part 1): "My God has it already been 10 years ? Vivian Blake said to herself while she stood in front of what had once been her home."

You Don't Have to Read in a Refrigerator Box, but It Might Help!

Happy International Children's Book Day! Celebrate quietly, as Young Daria just got to the good part and I wouldn't recommend that you interrupt her reading.

Today is also National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, and a tasty sandwich sounds just right as a snack while reading your favorite children's book. Just be careful not to sit on one on your way to Alternapalooza.

This is also the eleventh anniversary of the first airing of the episode "Art Burn," which appeared on this day in 2001. It had a lot of great moments, but I'm always partial to Tiffany's desire to have the caricature artist's fingers broken. Funny and chilling all at the same time.

Fandom News!

• DIsaac wants to know what you would do with $640 million!


• See the new trailer for The Three Stooges and talk about the upcoming film in the thread.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Wraith's Lawndale Rednecks and JPAGC's Vivian Taylor and April's fool.

No Foolin'!

It's April Fools' Day! That's the day when everyone should be careful to distrust absolutely everything anyone says, no matter what. Except me. You can trust me. Here, take this perfectly ordinary box of candy and open it up. Surely there will be no surprises there!

Heh. Anyway, today is also the fifth anniversary of the Great Inanimate Object Takeover as described by Jane Lane in "That Was Then, This is Dumb": "...while we're asleep, those objects come to life and plot their secret take over of our civilization. April 1st, 2007. That's the day they make their move!" Man, that revolution went so seamlessly, I didn't even notice a difference!

For your April Fools' Day entertainment, allow me to present you with these fanfics:

• April Showers by The Angst Guy


• I Meant to Do That by Richard Lobinske


• Assorted entries in an Iron Chef posted by Angelinhel

And if that wasn't enough for you, let me also share this April Fools' Day fanart created by SRA. Enjoy!

"Ooh-la-la. Doctor, I have a pain."

Today is National Doctors' Day! Dr. Phillips is busy trying to figure out what caused Daria's mysterious rash, but we can celebrate on his behalf. Perhaps if Quinn ever decides to restart her passion for medicine, she'll have her own holiday as well! (As if every day isn't Quinn Day in her mind.)

It's also a triple birthday treat for Jane and Daria: Francisco de Goya was born in 1746, Vincent van Gogh was born in 1853, and Anna Sewell was born in 1820, all on this day! Two artists and one author, and one of Daria's childhood favorites on top of that!

New Fanfic!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 7): "QUINN: What? Nobody said anything about any tests?! DARIA: It's a psychological test. You're exempt. Now please shut up, my head's bothering me again. QUINN: Jeez, maybe you should see somebody about that... Hey! Jane peers out at the group from the doorway of the girls' room, anxiously. JANE: Shit. I hope it's not too late. C'mon, Trent. Whatever you and the boys are gonna do, you're gonna have to do it fast..."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (part 3): "Back outside, the women’s conversation melted down from screaming to talking. Linda knew she was going to lose this battle, so she finally broke down and asked Helen with exhaustion in her voice, 'So what do you suggest I do, Helen?'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 25 and 26): "Darth Maladi: 'I have spoken to him on occasion. I have previously had to warn him off of harassing Daria Morgandorffer and Jane Lane, later he approached me daring me to do something, I made a threat to cleave him in two with my lightsabre if he didn’t leave me alone, he calls me a stuck up bitch and runs off. As far as I can tell, he is what you earth humans would refer to as a ... douchebag?'" (Part 26)


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 9): "'So, does anyone have any stories this week?' A trio stood up and got copies out of their bags. I looked over at C.C. and saw that she was not moving from her chair, and I was a bit disappointed."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 3a): "The effects of that jab to the parental reflexes were still working their way through Hank Brocklethwaite’s system on the car trip back. Over his sons' objections he insisted that they both take a college prep course which was being offered through the school. He wouldn't listen to reason, when Dylan tried to argue with him, or to unreason, when Kris tried that. Dylan took what comfort he could from Kris's discomfort. 'This could be an opportunity for us to do something together, as brothers', he said, rubbing salt in the wound."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 4): "'You should go headbutt some twatbag,' said Quinn absently. 'That's always a good pick-me-up.' DeMartino headbutted her. 'That WORKED!' he said, smiling. 'THANK you, Ms Morgendorffer!' 'No big.'"


• History Blows (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Well, while I must admire your INTESTINAL FORTITUDE, I STILL don't underSTAND the RELEVANCE of dining TEX-MEX in my classroom!' Kevin flashed Mr. DeMarino a winning smile. 'Tex-Mex? No, dude, you've got it all wrong!' 'Here it comes,' Daria said, tugging on Jane Lane's jacket sleeve as she ease herself from her seat and towards the door. 'You should get ready to run...'"


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 7): "'Jane, it's very simple. I'm not angry because I don't care. Not anymore at least. Quinn is ashamed of me and does not want to be my sister? Fine. If she does not want me as a sister then she is not my sister. For what it's worth I now consider myself an only child. The only reason I don't deny being her sister is that I don't want to stoop down to her level.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 13, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Trying to shrug off being ditched like that, but completely unable to, Tommy Sherman immediately followed after the hot ghost with all the certainty to prove her wrong - that Tommy Sherman wasn't a loser, that he might've died a pretty lame death but he was NOT a loser. 'Tommy Sherman might've gone the wrong way but...' He was completely distracted from his key objective now, 'That doesn't stop him from being anymore of a hero - if you know what he means...'" (Part 6)


• Stopping Two Sisters From Fighting (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn didn't get along all that well, but on this one thing they were both in agreement. Daria even let Quinn dress her, and Quinn didn't do anything to ruin her sister's appearance. Some things were just to important."


• Strange Unions (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn wasn't going to let the naysayers get her down. She wasn't going to let her parent's thoughts or her sister's horror get her down. She would even ignore the look of abject horror on the faces of the three J's when she told them who she was dating."


• Unnamed story (IC: Famous friends), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was outraged at this presumption of Daria's. 'And how do you know Harry? Just ignore her, Harry. She's just bitter you have better hair than her.' At once the insipid teen seemed to burst into life at this insult on Daria, and scowled at Quinn before taking Daria into his arms and kisisng her deeply."


• Unnamed story (IC: Famous friends), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Hey there.' The lead singer asked in; what Daria had to admit, was a pretty nice voice, although none of them could really hit the high notes they often attempted to sing on stage and on CDs. She wondered if one or two of them might do better in different genres of music. He smiled in an unfocused way and his eyes set on Daria. 'D- da dar!-' He motioned for the others. 'It's her guys! It's the girl I told you about!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Tom crept to the front door trying to be as silent as he could. He cringed as the soft squeek of every footstep echoed like a heavy brass bell. He reached for the doorknob and carefully turned. He wanted to scream, the damn door was stuck! He put some more effort into it when he heard something he prayed he wouldn't have to hear. 'Hey!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Jake slamed his hands on the table, frustrated. 'Honey, have you seen my ball-gag?' he yelled upstairs." (Continued by LongSnakeMoan)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Daria blinked at the interior of Tom's closet, just as he walked in. 'Hey, I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I got--Oh.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Posh Announcer: For several years now, Quinn Morgendorffer, Stacy Rowe, and Sandy Griffin have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations. This is one of them."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "It had been a heavy night and Trent had drank his own body weight in cheap vodka. As he rolled over he noticed the sleeping form of the woman next to him, tightly clutching a marriage licence in her hand."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I've been a BAD boy. A very, very BAD boy. I messed up my HITSORY test and I deserve to be punished.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Daria I'm really not comfortable with this.' Tom muttered looking at the leather and and hand cuffs."


• Wrong Answer (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe stared at the top three lines of the history test that Mr. DeMartino had graded and handed back, beginning to hyperventilate. The first line of the test, written in the angry red ink favored by teachers everywhere, read 'SEE ME AFTER CLASS.' The second line, the first question of the test, asked, 'Who was Adolf Hitler?'"

Janet, Warrior Princess

Happy birthday to actress Lucy Lawless, born on this day in 1968. Ms. Barch is emulating Lawless's most well-known character, Xena, who is also most likely the teacher's role model. Let's hope Barch never thinks of bringing a sword or, worse, wearing skimpy metal armor to class.

It was also on this day in 1998 that the episode "The New Kid" first aired. We not only got to meet Ted DeWitt-Clinton, but also Robert--two very odd young men for the price of one!

Fandom News!

• Do you agree with what Jeremy Clarkson says about metrosexual men? Discuss why or why not in the thread.


• The Angst Guy is looking for help troubleshooting his website.


• A Daria reference has surfaced on Twitter! Check out the link in the thread.


• Vote in a "Deadliest Warrior" poll, but beware--thread derailment in progress!


• Discuss the new series Legend of Korra in a new thread.


• Erin M. introduces the first episode of his TV review series "Into the Idiot Box."


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Ranchoth's Daria, as if produced in a Retro-Future world!, ThanatosRW's Famous friends, and Reese Kaine's The Holy Fried Egg scepter.

Just Another Average Joe

Today is National Joe Day, so let's call everyone Joe to avoid the confusion. Jamie probably gets called Joe(y) all the time, so he's used to it. Happy National Joe Day, Joe!

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: The Invitation, by Fhujeth_x (part 3): "Contrary to popular belief, Tiffany was very stubbourn and didn't like being told what to do, unfortunately, neither did Sandi - and that was the biggest issue in their friendship... because both were divas and didn't like to take shit from other people. 'Tif-' She rolled her eyes, 'Fine, but if she says something stupid...'"


• Apocalyptic Daria: Fence Builders Corps, by Doggieboy (part 1): "'DANIELS! Where the hell have you been? We've been looking all over for you!' Jennifer's expression turned to a mixture of disgust and anger as she said, 'If it's any business of yours, Joe, I was off duty after I delivered a dinner tray to Mr. Thompson here.' 'When I look for you, little girl, I expect you to be findable. And you call me Mister Collins from now on. Do I make myself clear?'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (part 24): "Cameraman: 'Either of you want to talk to me here?' Daria: looks at Jane, then at the camera. 'There's quite a bit I'd like to say, but half of it would be unbroadcastable in primetime hours, and the other half could ... ... Sorry, no comment.'"


• Dani and Stacy Love ......Myke Hawke and Mianus (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "STACY: Welcome back to the show! Stacy and Dani on the air at WHUB 98.5. DANI: You said you had something to talk about now. STACY: Yes, I do! I was online on wiklpedia today and I discover.......Myke Hawke."


• Daria DeMartino: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (part 3): "'So basically she lied and abused her trust for petty revenge,' Quinn said coldly. Daria saw the look in her sister's eyes and was a little intimidated. If there was one thing she hated to see was an angry Quinn. The girl was nearly impossible to rile up and would take even the most horrible insult with a smile and an apology. She was polite and kind and went out of her way to please everyone and would get sad if someone didn't like her, but when Quinn got mad she got dangerously mad."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 33): "Quinn took the phone. 'Hey Sandi.... Yeah... Yeah... Sure.. I'd like to.. Okay.. See you in a few.' Quinn hung the phone up and set it on the table. 'What did she want?' asked Helen, a bit coldly. 'She wants to come over and hang out for a few.' Said Quinn. 'Oh.' Said Helen. 'Quinn, are you sure that's a good idea?' 'I don't see anything wrong with it.' Said Quinn. 'I'm just not comfortable with her being around you.' Said Helen."


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (parts 6 - 8): "Some of the other students seemed to have trouble reading aloud. They would pause between words, and sometimes even the most basic sentences came out wrong. I didn't say anything, but inside my stomach was being tied into a knot. I never understood how some people who wanted to be writers could not figure out that they had to be readers first." (Part 7) (Part 8)


• A Distant Lawndale, by Arena del Sur (part 8): "–Grandma, what are you doing here? You're alone. Where are Dad and Mom? –They had a business dinner in the downtown, probably you must have crossed them. I wasn't expecting you to came back home, at least not so early... Definitely something strange was happening there. I remained on my feet, trying to figure out the question I had to make. I wasn't accustomed to Grandma's presence, but she was here and I shouldn't waste the opportunity."


• Into the Black, Into the Blue (Questions/MLP) Ch 2, by Lord Yellowtail (part 1): "A thud from above shook the Blackhawk so hard Finn felt his guts churning in an entirely different and even more unpleasant way, and then his ears rang with the horrible screeching sound of metal being torn away from itself even as he heard other pieces of it breaking off in great cracks that left his skull throbbing. The IR overlay on the canopy's windshield made it easy to see chunks of the copter's blades flying towards the ground—as if they had broken off on something."


• A New Beginning (IC Runaway Daria), by LadieT (part 4): "Quinn drew out a long, deep sigh. It wasn't the exact same thing her counselor had told her, but close. She looked over at her twenty-old cousin. At least Erin is trying, that's more than I can say for Rita and Grandma. Maybe Erin's right - maybe it is time for me to move on."


• The Prep, the Artist and the Loner, by Walter Kovacs (part 2): "'How about you, Daria? How was your first day?' 'Being in classes with people who have the ability to think and basic literacy is quite an unusual experience' Daria sipped her glass of water then continued 'However, despite my best efforts to the contrary I think I made a friend.' Sensing an opportunity to strike, Quinn chimed in: 'Oooh! Are you talking about the cute boy I saw you chatting with in the hall between class?'"


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT , by DIsaac (part 5): "SANDI: Huh? Never mind. Mom I got some news. LINDA: Oh God... You got your first wrinkle? MOMMY'S COMING! SANDI: No it's not that. Mother, I'm expecting a child. LINDA: At 40, right?"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 13, by Fhujeth_x (parts 2 - 4): "Chris continued, beaming with victory, 'I bet a werewolf killed your boyfriend!' He referred to Scotty and his untimely mutilation. 'I bet you're a werewolf!!' He looked at his older sister, then his brother, then back at his sister. Sam blinked a few times, 'Hey... that'd make sense...'" (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Self-Esteem (A genderswap never before done), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "I look into the mirror at my tear-soaked face. Is there anything really that wrong with me? I look over my curly red mane and my freckles. How could it be that little girls with red hair and freckles are the most precious things ever while teenage girls with red hair and freckles are not that attractive?"


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 4): "If this last moth had showed her something it was that any chat with Timothy O'Neill was a potential train wreck, and those aren't fun when you're inside that particular train. So when he was writing on the schedule she took a peek, and managed to recognize the budget amid a large number of doodles and incoherent notes in the margins. Then she decided to press the Emergency Stop before the inevitable collision. 'Mr. O'Neill, may I have a look of your notebook?'"


• X-men: Daria's Evolution, by Reven384 (part 7): "Raven rushed back to base as quickly as possible. If her old friend could be believed this envelope contained the worst crisis for mutant kind in many years. She rushed through the base giving a quick greeting to her son and lover before slamming the door shut in her room. She scanned the contents of the envelope carefully. 'My God,' she said, 'I've racked up my share of bad karma over the years, but this is disgusting.'"

Lady Looks Like a Dude!

Happy birthday to Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler, who was born on this day in 1948. Sandi certainly does resemble the singer in her alter ego, although I'm not sure that's an entirely flattering comparison. I'm sure Quinn would agree on the size of the mouth, though.

It was also on this day in 2001 that the episode "Lucky Strike" first aired on MTV. Lots of great moments in that episode--O'Neill collaborating with Trent, DeMartino's creative negotiating tactics, and Quinn making a great leap forward both in academics and her relationship with her sister. That's right, I said sister!

Fandom News!

• Post your baby photos in a new thread, and prepare from some serious "awwww!"


• Are you going to participate in Script Frenzy? Post about it or wish others luck!


• Check out some strangely accurate 100-year-old predictions from Ladies' Home Journal.


• Dervish has a YouTube debugging question.


• See the list of political catch phrases from various countries and share your thoughts.


• Walter Kovacs posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: New names for genderbender characters.


• Kem has a question about pseudonyms vs. real names on artwork.

Merry Christmas, You Beautiful Old Caption Contest!

You know the drill by now! Post your captions in the comments!

Jodie Dearest!

Happy birthday to the late Joan Crawford, born on this day in 1908. Jodie's alter ego portrays Crawford's depiction in Mommie Dearest, but I would think she'd be too concerned about getting to her student council meeting on time to worry about wire hangers.

Today is also the anniversary of the first airing of "Monster" in 1998, in which we finally get an answer to the burning question of which is Quinn's best side. As we know, they're both good.

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: The Invitation, by Fhujeth_x (part 2): "Watching Sandi think this through, Tiffany quickly reflected the situation in her mind. This Quinn girl seemed like a nice person, for the most part. She didn't seem like the rude, snotty type [like Sandi] but she did seem to take center stage without effort, and undeserved power was so weird. Then again, she and Stacy seemed to get along a little bit... 'Hmm..' She said aloud, trying to figure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 'Quinn...'"


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (parts 5 and 6): "LI: Patience, Colonel. We're just putting the finishing touches on the Wildhorse and its Eight-Tracker system now. The only problem is finding 'Eighths' with enough power to use it to its full potential. Not to worry, though. We've got some new students coming in today. We're especially optimistic about two of them. Does the name Morgendorffer ring any bells?" (Part 6)


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (part 2): "The elevator came to a stop once they arrived on the fourth floor. It’s metal doors opened and as soon as the three women got off, they saw Linda storm out of room 403, which is not far from where they were at the elevator. Linda doesn’t say anything to them as she passed them and got into the still open elevator. With the elevator doors closing, the three women look at each other and wonder what just happened. 'And there goes mother of the year,' Jane mumbled to herself as she followed Quinn and Judy into room 403."


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 7): "The redhead had started to say something, but simply closed her mouth and stared at her boyfriend for several seconds. Then she said, 'You’re weird, you know that?' 'I do my best,' he said, and made a half-bow in thanks. 'Think we ought to just "call him up" and stop putting it off?'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (part 22): "Scene:Visitor's locker room. Some players are watching their hand move back and forth, one seems to be following an imaginary butterfly, one seems to be reaching off in random directions, one is stood on top of the lockers trying to breathe as close to the ceiling as possible." (Part 23)


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (parts 3 - 5): "As I stood there, taking a swig and listening to the silence of my empty little house, I wondered how the second half of my class would go. I wondered if I would still remember the names of all those kids. I drained the glass and put it down on the counter next to the sink, next to a few other dirty glasses that I really had to wash. Then, with a sigh, I went out the front door and headed back to campus." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Dylan, by J-D (part 2d): "The security guard took off her cap. 'I'm afraid that name's ticked off. Brittany Booth-Dawe's already gone in to the party.' 'But don't you see! That's her boyfriend! He's brought some other girl in here and used her name! Whoever he took in, her name wasn't Brittany Booth-Dawe!' The security guard drummed her fingers on her clipboard. 'Okay', she said, 'I'm going up to this party with you and we're going to sort this out, see what's really going on.'"


• The Island of Canceled Cartoons (REPOSTED), by Erin M. (part 1): "As the two girls watched, whole sections of Lawndale began to disappear. First the buildings on the edges of town vanished, moving inward and closer to the new beach. Within thirty seconds, the last of the buildings had disappeared. Ten seconds later, Daria and Jane comprehended what they had just witnessed. Lawndale was gone. "


• Memory Lane, by echopapa (part 4): "'This...world. I mean, you've got holographic whozits and talking computers and I'm sure that you've got death rays and flying cars-' 'We do.' 'That's what I mean. What kind of a world is this?'"


• One More Round, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "I looked over to the guy next to me. He wasn't really big or cute; and yet as his glasses fogged up in the cold winter air I found myself blushing. I'd never really blushed like that before. I never had to do this with any girl I dated. Did I just think of dating?"


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition (IC Runaway Daria), by Vukodlak (part 3): "Quinn, Jane and Tom all looked at one another sheepishly. 'Well actually,' Tom muttered rubbing the back of his head. 'Joey kinda grabbed Daria's chest.' Jane added shifting her feet and gesturing to the girl in question. 'Then she kicked their Asses.' Quinn cheered shadow boxing the air"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 12, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'What happened?' She wanted to know if her teacher would be giving a ride home, or would she really have to walk home dressed like... this. 'Remember?' He laughed, 'Goalpost in Tommy Sherman's honour. That's what.' Grinning he thought she was talking about him, 'Took his life but didn't take his--' 'I mean with Ms. Barch!!' She shouted, standing up, 'Like I care about some washed up jock who died my Freshman year.'" (Part 4)


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 13, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "After finally making it home, Sandi Griffin opened the door and immediately started to head for the bathroom. She had to wash up - she didn't even want her mom to see her. Hell, she didn't even want her brothers or father to see her, and her brothers rolled around in dirt at least once a week. Exasperated, she looked up the stairs, it seemed quiet enough in the house - no one would catch her entering and then when she was clean she'd go and--"


• Smijey and Sandi do Text Messages, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Smijey: In West Bloomfield, born and raised being fashionable is how I spent most of my days."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 3): "'Very good, Daria. The mall is a very beautiful illustration of all these economic principles. In fact, it would make for an excellent field trip.' 'All right! Field trip!' Kevin is someone simple, so simple things like doing something new provoke enthusiasm on him, at least until he finds himself bored again. He leans over to Daria to ask her something that may or may not be important. 'Where are we going, man?' 'The field.' Daria was already starting her now standard procedure of transcribing the delusions of the teachers whenever they are about to abuse her words, like right now."


• Unnamed story (Definitive List of Cliched Dialogue), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "Daria slammed her locker closed, turned, and almost ran into someone who was hovering annoyingly close; brown hair, denim jacket, yellow t-shirt, tight jeans, and a smoothly handsome face lifted right out of a teen drama. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized him - one of the boys that was always hanging around her sister. She took a half-step back and then started to walk around him."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Something inside of him that had been building between them finally snapped. It was now or never. 'Cut the crap, JANET. You and I have known each other LONG enough to carry or with this CHARADE anymore.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: I Met Myself on the Way to the Town Square ...), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "Stacy blinked, her mouth working against the hand as she tried to plead for her life. Some girl, who looked exactly like her, was holding her down and glaring hatefully at her. This was a Stacy that didn't look nervous at all . . . probably didn't even know what nervous felt like. Stacy stopped trying to talk, now only emitting a high pitched whine. omgomgomg pod people are real omgomgomg"


• Weapons Check (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey.' 'Hey.' 'Got them?' 'Oh, yeah. The guy didn't even blink when I put the boxes on the counter - figured that with the trip to State, we'd be 'celebrating' or 'consoling someone'.'"

"Yeah, I just found out that poems don't even have to rhyme. How easy is that?"

Happy World Poetry Day to you all! Andrea is reading us one of her lighthearted classics, so let's sit back and enjoy!

I'm here.
But where are you?
Sure, I see your body.
Anybody home in that rotting bag of flesh?

Ahhh, poetry.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts and good wishes for Townsville in Queensland, which was recently hit by major storms.


• Deref will be heading off to Viet Nam soon. Send him your best wishes (and demands for pictures)!


• oni wants to know if anyone else is interested in noir films.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: jtranser's Getting Ready for the End of the World and Walter Kovacs's Removing the 3 Js.