Yo, webnecks and cybermonkeys. You like art? Who doesn't! But maybe you feel funny about walking into a gallery and having to face the turtlenecked snob who runs the place. Or uncomfortable at the thought of going to a museum, cutting a Renoir out of its frame and sneaking it away inside a hollowed-out walking stick. Well, now you can acquire great art without messy human contact. The internet is all about anonymity -- yours as an art buyer, mine as an artist. Wait, that didn't sound right, but let's move on for now.
I want you to have some first-rate art. So I'm bypassing the critics, dealers, and curators and creating a site to showcase my own work. After all, if Van Gogh'd had a home page, maybe he wouldn't have suffered such complete neglect and cut off his ear just for attention. Or if he did cut it off, at least he could have charged for the live video feed.
As a special bonus, you have the opportunity to purchase fine works not only by me but by members of my talented family. Once they caught wind of my e-commerce endeavor, they paid me the ultimate compliment by horning in on the act. It's great to be the youngest.
So Click here to shop on Lanebay: the web's first family-style online art auction. Since Mom and Dad often forget to pay the mortgage, it may be the only way I can hold onto my garret.
[Lanebay coming up soon. TAG]