Watch Me Pull a QB out of My Hat!

The illusionist David Copperfield was born on this day in 1956. Kevin's doing a few magic tricks of his own, although I doubt they'll help him much on the football field. Someone should also probably tell him one of the rabbits is trying to eat his foot.

It was also 201 years ago today that Mexico declared its independence from Spain. Well done, guys! And have a very happy Independence Day!

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 7): "'It would be nice it you would actually listen to me when you ask me to talk with you, Mom,' Daria said in a flat tone. 'You were talking about positive and negative reinforcement, Daria,' Helen replied. 'And, in that vein, maybe if you and Kevin work well together, he'll associate you with feeling good and want to include you in his circle of friends. That would be positive reinforcement, wouldn't it?' 'For who?' Daria raised her eyebrow."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 11a): "Daria was impressed by the work. 'This is pretty good, at most, I'd maybe change this a bit, it sounds a little too passive, I'd tighten up this paragraph, and maybe this one as well. Then there's the usual colon/semi-colon stuff that everybody screws up. Other than that, "let it stand".' 'Really, that's all? When did I learn to English good?'"


• The Cynical Villain (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by DIsaac (prologue): "Lawndale, Maryland – It’s your ideal mid-Atlantic coastal town and on the surface there is nothing really wrong with. The neighbors are kind and friendly. The community cheers on their Lawndale Lions on cool Friday nights in the fall. Everything seems normal but one major fact – They are all villains. Each and every single one of them, villains. Future villains, Current villains or former villains - this is what Lawndale is made up."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (COMPLETE!): "And that's all, friends. Everything I did, everything I saw. If I had strength, I would to mourn. I have reread it. It has bits of mud sticking to it, and blood, and beautiful bright-green flies. I have camouflaged what I could so as not to hurt people. And I have toyed with many pseudonyms for myself before I hit on a particularly apt one. There are in my notes 'Gustavo Gustavo' and 'Rodrigo Rodrigo' and 'Ezequiel Ezequiel', but for some reason I think my choice expresses the nastiness best."


• Fan Clubbed, by Smijey (part 1): "'Excuse me?' Daria repeated, now wondering if there was uranium in the drinking water here too. 'Um, why are you talking to that, uh, person?' Quinn asked hesitantly. Sandi turned, her nose turned up just a little. 'Well, Kuh-winn, I wouldn't expect a muggle like you to understand, but as president of the Harry Potter Fan Club, I always have to be on the lookout for potential future members.'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 16): "'Huh. I was just thinking, that discussion thing Heather mentioned the other day should be tonight. I guess we could check that out. If you want.' Jane paused to mull it over. 'Ah, what the Hell...' she sighed, 'Better than the alternative, I guess.' 'Do we ever do anything for any other reason?' Daria said as she and Jane headed for the doors."


• Ill: The Alternate Ending (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'I just don't understand, Dr. Phillips. How could this have happened to her?' Dr. Phillips shook his head. 'It's not unheard of for people to become allergic to certain stimuli that they could tolerate earlier in life, Mrs. Morgendorffer, but as to how she suddenly became allergic to every known natural and synthetic fiber...I'm at an utter loss.'"


• In the Trunk, by Smijey (part 1): "Upchuck sat on the trunk of his car. It was not quite six PM on the day he had graduated high school. The sun hung low in the sky, and a breeze which still thought it was spring caused the hairs on his arms to prickle with its coolness. He wasn't even twelve hours out of school, and Daria Morgendorffer lay dead in his trunk."


• Monster (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Smaller than a speck of dust, Fran flew away from the lavish mansion full of elected officials, VIPs, major donors and in general, the movers and shakers of the political party. A smile formed on her face as she remembered the televised comment of the Chief of Security: 'An ant won't be able to get in without our approval and knowledge.'"


• Rafting Naked (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Doggieboy (parts 1 and 2): "The student kept her expression neutral, but wanted to roll her eyes. The PEA, which many of her friends and fellow students called 'Pee-pee', came into being the year before with all kinds of feel-good ideas to improve the lives of children right up to college student levels. While their hardcore program on attacking bullying was somewhat a success, their other initiatives came across as either wishy-washy or too intrusive. Wonder what kind of B.S. they’re gonna use me for? she thought." (Part 2)


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club, by DIsaac (part 1): "SANDI: Where is my Raspberry Vinaigrette at? God that is the greatest dressing ever. (At that moment an Asian woman comes in) SANDI: Oh god! Not you! TIFFANY: Saaaandiiii, Whoooo aaaaaareee taaalkiinngg aboouuut?"


• Sugar and Blood, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jane and Daria could hear the blood curdling screams of their classmates as they raced for down the hallways in search of the younger Morgendorffer. Daria lost her footing on a pool of soda and blood that had spewed from the cans and bodies that littered the floor. Jane grabbed Daria's arm and the two quickly rounded the corner. Echoing behind them through the halls was the voice of Angela Li yelling 'SODA! SODA! SODA! - if you want to live, I better see a soda in your hands damn it!'"


• Tewari (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jane knew that Daria kept them on a leash. Slowly changing their minds. Jane wondered if Daria had been messing with her own mind. Of course she has. She's probably reading it right now. Aren't you, amiga? If Daria was, she didn't answer. Jane wondered how much of the old Jane Lane was left; her carefree days goofing off in class seemed millenia ago."


• Trix of the Trade, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'P-O-O-K-A,' she spelled, locating the entry. 'Pooka. From old Celtic mythology, a fairy spirit in animal form, always very large. The pooka appears here and there, now and then, to this one and that one. A benign but mischievous creature. Very fond of rumpots, crackpots, and how are you, Ms. Morgendorffer?' She gave a small exclamation and reread the entry. '"How are you, Ms. Morgendorffer?" Who in the encyclopedia wants to know?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A naked Daria Morgendorffer pranced about the room naked, as a number of young men and women (including Charles Ruttheimer, Kevin Thompson, Sandi Griffin and - surprisingly - Jodie Landon) watched from chairs placed against the far wall of the room."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria crouched behind a lamppost and waited for the time to come. I can't believe I'm about to do this. I mean, when I was in high school I never would have considered it. But I guess since coming to Raft I've done a lot I never thought I'd do."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat alone in her room, where nobody ever went except Daria, where the only people were those in books. She'd entered Raft knowing nobody and a month later, she still knew nobody. The brief contact had seen her shunned and shunning in kind."