I Don't Care What You Read--Just Read Something!

Happy National Comic Book Day, True Believers! Admittedly the only person in Daria canon that I can remember reading comic books is Kevin, but I know for a fact that there are quite a few avid comic book readers in fandom. Hell, I'm married to one. Marvel, DC, Ratboy...grab yourself an issue and enjoy!

In other book-related news, yesterday began National Banned Books Week. Why not pick a favorite from this list of frequently challenged classics, or join Daria in protesting in her own unique style?

Jane: Run down the list of causes you volunteered for again?

Daria: I protested that book burning last year.

Jane: You yelled at the TV screen.

Daria: Hey, if more people spoke up....

And if that's not enough inspiration to read stuff, here's the latest fanfic update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 2, by DeacBlue (part 1): "'How about we call it, "America's Future Leaders," and we just enlarge a picture of Kevin and Brittany?' asked Daria. 'Come on, that's too depressing,' Jane replied. 'How about we call it, "Beauty is only Skin Deep," and we attach the actual skin of a student?' 'Yeah, but we'll get one donated about the same time that us three get married,' said Jen. Daria's face lit up. 'Hey!'"


• Cottontails (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "'So, what are you going to wear today?' Quinn asked. 'Real funny.... Just my old swimsuit. With a towel wrapped around me.' Quinn smirked again. 'Nuh uh. It's nice out. That means you have to be dressed like everyone else.' 'I thought this place had optional in its name.' 'You heard wrong. If you're going to be outside, you've gotta lose the suit.'"


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Systems away, a comm terminal came alive with the chirping of an insistant, high-priority call. Its owner reached out and tapped the screen, opening the line. 'Mister Maas,' the woman's voice snapped at him from the other end of the encrypted connection. 'Why haven't you recovered the cargo yet?'"


• A Fistful of Scarletts, by Aloysius (part 1): "When she reached the first floor, she exhaled loudly and waddled to the front door. She opened the door to find a suit-clad tall man with short white hair and dark circles under his eyes. Goddess, he looks like Lurch from The Addams Family, she thought and resisted the urge to grip her pistol’s grip. 'Yes? Can I help you?' 'For you,' he said, his voice deep, and he handed her a thickened envelope."


• In Any Other World: Their Sister’s Keepers, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Jane walked up the stairs, glad to be out of the conversation. No Quinn so far either, and that was always good. Ever since it came out that Daria was her sister, Quinn had been ever more resentful and concentrating everything she had on regaining some form of popularity. The more she struggled and simpered and backstabbed, the more she seemed to hate her sister. Because damn it, it had to be Daria’s fault her personality had taken a whack."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Helen looked at the clock on the wall. '4:40! I’m sorry, I have to get back to work!' she said. 'If it hasn’t been affected by the tornado!' Elizabeth said. Her expression seemed to say 'Where do you think you’re going?' 'Oh, believe me, the firm will be running regardless of natural disasters,' she said."


• School Spirit: Valentine's Day Massacre, by Smijey (part 1): "Dr. Manson (Daria doubted whether the woman had ever seen the inside of a psychiatric learning institution) had showed her an image, a silhouette of two people talking, and asked her what she saw in the picture. Daria replied with her stock answer ('A herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains,') and Manson asked if she was being a wise guy. Daria replied that she lacked the genitalia to be a wise guy, and Dr. Manson PULLED A GUN ON HER IN RESPONSE."


• Through the Fog (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "She cautiously stepped out of the bathroom and shivered immediately at the temperature difference between the sauna the bathroom had become and the cool hallway. A familiar creaking of the stairs prompted Daria to pause. 'Hey Jane,' she greeted the taller blurry shape as she wiped a bit of excess moisture away from her squinted eyes. 'I forgot to grab a towel before I went in. Can you grab one for me?'"


• Unnamed story (IC: "Unless logic and experience prove me wrong"), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria's logic told her that gravity worked one way (down), and that was that."


• Interstellar Portals - A worldbuilding scenario, by cfardell_Brenorenz29: "The carriage pulled up to the archaeological site, in a rush. Doctor James Livingstone wondered what it was that he had to dragged all the way out here on the Cetian frontier (though the real frontier was further out) and over 22000 miles from Cambridge, through 4 portals, to see. (Though he had to admitt that railways and steamships had sped up the journey to a mere 4 months rather than the year or more it would have been nearly a century ago.)"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'So, Daria, what's it like being a God?' 'As long as I'm not prayed at by idiots, besieged by begging relatives, claimed by sleazy politicians or otherwise inconvenienced, it's O.K.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Even in her high heeled boots she barely came up to the man's chin, but her powerful presence towered over him. She looked so strong and sharp in her shiny glasses, studded leather bustier, spiked heels and expression of eternal contempt. She was the rose's thorns, she was a razor blade in a piece of Halloween candy, a flesh-searing lightning bolt screaming down from a fluffy cloud, a divine judgement on a worthless world. 'My Goddess...' Woods whispered, reverently as he dropped to his knees."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Daria awoke with a start! She was in her room. She wasn't naked on the Raft campus, she wasn't even a student at Raft, yet. 'Oh, thank god it was only a dream.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef Idea: Daria as a Historical Reenactor), by Ranchoth (COMPLETE!): "...slowly, the King Tiger's shape rumbled out of the old Morgendorffer barn, sixty years of dust shaking off the zimmerit ridged hull. It clipped the door frame twice; once, as the driver misjudged the exit angle, and then tearing out a horse-sized section of planks against the panzer's rear quarter as it clumsily yawed on it's treads. The turret traversed in the same direction, outpacing the hull, as the main gun brought to bear...on the petrified gaggle of bank officers."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 50): "While she rode the subway, Daria felt some trepidation. What was she going to tell Sam? That she just happened to run into her ex-boyfriend at South Station? She stared at the tunnel walls rushing past her window, unsure of what to do."


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Sandi?' The hinges creaked slightly as Stacy slowly moved inside, one hesitant step at a time. She was just about to call her friend's name again when she looked over at the vanity table and noticed Sandi sitting there, staring into the mirror. Though she couldn't see the other girl's face, she could still see that something was horribly, terribly wrong."