Sorry, O'Neill, but Inner Children Don't Count.

Happy Universal Children's Day! Daria won't be celebrating, considering her stance of "I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." Still, that's a couple of seriously cute children over there.

Also on this day, Daria appeared in the Beavis and Butt-head episode "U. S. History" in 1995. In it, we find that Daria is apparently a fan of conspiracy theories. Perhaps something she picked up from Sick, Sad World?

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 3, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Daria smiled at Jen, then noticed that Jane was looking off to her left. 'Hey. Hey!' she said, bumping her girlfriend. 'I'm sorry, hon. It's just that guy was staring at me.' 'And I can see how that pains you. Let's go to the bathroom and give him someone else to obsess about.' Jane sighed. 'Okay.' Once they came back, Daria nudged Jane. 'Looks like he did.'"


• Bits of a Star Gone Wrong (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by SoCalledGoodeGuy: "When it hit, it was all sound and fury. ISA OV-234 Temeraire skewed madly, alarms shrieking and metal rending. For it’s unfortunate occupants, the weightless environment became a blizzard of loose objects and food packets as storage containers and the galley burst open under the punishment. Red emergency lights snapped on, painting the scene in crimson, dyeing the drops of blood in the air to ink."


• Competition Kitten Cannon! (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2011!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "This is what’s so nice about Ostrich Day, Yaniv thought, unaware of his friend's passing distress. We get to invite people in to play, and don’t have to hide anything – not that many people are allowed on the grounds who don’t know, but still..."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 5): "'Lynn? Is that you?' came the voice from somewhere in the house. 'No. It’s the tooth fairy.' Said Lynn. She paused for a second, then continued 'Yeah, it’s me.' 'Where did you wander off too?' 'I went to see an, uh, err, friend, I met online.' Said Lynn. Well, she wasn’t entirely lying."


• Daria Morgendorffer, College Girl, by Boring Bricks (part 1): "Submerged, Daria watched the bubbles escape from her nose and float up to the surface. It had been a very busy week, having just done her English Lit exam. To her surprise, she actually found it quite challenging. Once she had done, Daria had herself puzzled, wondering, I really haven't got my A game on lately. Then she retreated back to her dorm room and went into her tub, a ritual that she'd been performing for almost a month now. Her baths have become the only time she was able to escape the busy college life, the exams and the notes, the only time she could able to hear herself think." (Part 2)


• God Save The Esteem ep37: CSI Don't Care, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'I was just wondering... umm... The person who hit you-' 'Oh wait, sorry Cin,' he said apologetically. 'If I tell the feds or anything, that’d be snitching. And that’s not cool!' 'I’m not a cop though.' 'Oh yeah. I guess it’s okay then! It was...'"


• Hot Air Balloon Saga (SFMB), by Gum Wars: "It had been yeas since DARIA had ruined her parents with her hot air balloon plan. She had convinced her father that buying the baloon was a good idea, knowing he would run it into the ground and ruin them all."


• The Lady and the Tiger, by RLobinske (part 2): "'So it's an "us" now,' Jane teased. Daria turned to face Jane. 'You're the one who desperately needs to get laid. How well did ten o'clock, move-in day go?' 'We don't talk about that.'"


• A Matter of Retrieval (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2011!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The lights in the room began to flicker and dim; to a man, the assembled group went silent – not out of fear, but in the calculating manner of a pack of wolves, coming to realize that other predators might be near, hungry for their prize, and determined to take it for themselves... 'Code Rival,' intoned the last speaker – an average-looking, bespectacled American. 'We need to move.'"


• No One Is To Blame (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2011!), by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "'Is there still a problem here?' Both young men turned to face Daria – her sudden re-appearance sending a slight murmur through the onlookers. Daria approached the two, her arms folded. 'I heard your discussion,' she said, stepping close to the two of them and giving both a stern look – a look that Tom shrank from, and which David Allen noticed with interest. 'Do you understand what I mean?'" (Part 2)


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (parts 6 and 7): "'Andrea, right?' 'Yeah.' She glared at him and brushed a strand of black hair away from her face. 'Look, before you even say it, my lousy parents are making me work here to save money for college. Not that you'd understand anything about that.' 'Hey!' Kevin exclaimed, suspecting that he'd just been insulted. Then he paused. 'Wait, which part don't I understand?'" (Part 7)


• Star Trek: Adventures on New Victoria – Trouble in the Gipps Sea (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Miss Allenby?' the person said, in a strange accent that Kazza could not identify. She was sure that was to put her off guard, whilst she thought about it. 'Hi, to what do I have the pleasure?' she said. 'You don't fool me, Miss Allenby. We know that a member of the Q Continuum was warning you about something, most likely us, though we only have the audio of your side of the conversation,' the person said. Kazza could see that he had a poker face, he wasn't giving anything away..."


• Tigresses of Summer (reposted), by taishigi (part 1): "'This is going to be my new look,' Jane stated firmly, before rounding on Daria. 'And you're assisting in the procedure.' 'I'm what?' Tom was equally surprised. 'You're not serious!' Jane's fierce look gave the other two a glimpse of her inner-tiger, and Tom at least was worried. Sensing weakness, Jane turned on him first. 'What do you mean? I thought you liked it!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "The mid semester entrance of Jane Lane to the Hollowed Halls of BFAC was met with mostly indifference by the trustfund artfags. 'Ew! Scholarships? Pell grants? Student loans?' The Genuine Artfags, i.e., the gay and lesbian students at BFAC was much different. These were serious art students, looking to hone and develop their skill and talent. The recognition of a kindred spirit, although straight, led to invitations to all the best parties and meeting all the interesting people at BFAC."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "'I thought your said it would be just like Lawndale,' Jane said as she pulled up to the light. An Applebee's and a King Kullen covered one side of the street, while the other was dominated by the concrete railroad el that rose from a sea of parking lots. 'It is,' Daria said. 'Same rows of pre-fab homes, same shitty chain restaurants, same gas stations and bars and all the usual crap.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'What’s the deal with the writing on the road at all these street corners telling you which way to look when you cross? Is it a special service for stupid people?'"