Well, Ms. Li Did Once Mention a Brief Career as a Dancer!

Happy birthday to the late Louise Brooks, who was a dancer, model, showgirl, silent film actress, and inspiration for Ms. Li's alter ego on the left. Born in 1906, Brooks also popularized the bobbed hairstyle that Jane herself sports on Daria.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and Mr. O'Neill and Jane Lane have this advice to share:

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 3, by DeacBlue (part 10): "Jen was on the other end of the line. 'Jane! We're all in jail and we need help!' 'Jail? Why are you in jail?' Well, we were on our way to Fremont, and apparently Max swerved across the line a couple of times. We got pulled over, and they gave us a ticket.' 'Hell, if they just gave you a ticket, why are you in jail?' 'Because we're out of state. They want us to pay up right away, and none of us have a hundred dollars on us. We were figuring to be paid at the gig.'"


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 3): "Mike looked around at the food and rubbed his belly in anticipation. 'I’m glad that we came here, too,' he said. 'Now this is a party.' Scarlett and Tan turned towards him quickly, while John said, 'No! Don’t say it!' Almost instantly, all clothing vanished from view and every single person in the building appeared to be completely naked. 'Too late,' Tan said, her voice choked. 'Look down!'" (SFMB)


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker: "With Jane's ever improving carpentry skills, she proved to be a very able assistant, and the work progressed rapidly until Friday night... 'You know what? I think it's finished.'"


• Cleveland Esteemsters (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Well, girls, here we are on our first day in Ohio!' Jake cheerfully said to his daughters as they drove to school. 'You do know what this town is famous for, right, Dad?' Daria asked."


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "'Might want to try that a little faster,' Mack griped. 'They're in dogfight range, and we're taking hits.' Daria hit the button on her armrest. 'Jane, please tell me you have a way to reinforce the shields.' 'Not unless you want to slow down,' came the even reply from the speaker. Daria swore."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 1): "She logged in to Thunderbird to check her email. The usual spam, an email reminded for the upcoming Sick Sad World marathon on Christmas eve, and a email from a unknown person. 'Probably trash.' She said to herself as she went to hit the Delete key, until she read the subject... 'Looking for Daria Morgendorffer'. Looking for? Her email address WAS her name. She read on..."


• First Day of Summer, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Daria looked at the Dega L’dale Gothic Magazine building as she and Jane approached it. It was a well-kept building that dated from the early 1930’s and still had much of its Art Deco looks. 'You called ahead while we were at the Mall, didn’t you?' she asked. 'You know me too well.' Daria sighed."


• Five Minutes to Midnight, by untra (parts 13 - 16): "'I miss you, every day,' Jane said. 'I decided to come just this once, to see how you are doing.' 'Jane. Please stop this. Stop seeing me. My life is finally getting back on track. I...' 'Trent, I-' 'I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW JANE!' Trent suddenly yelled." (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16)


• God Save The Esteem ep37: CSI Don't Care, by Charles RB (parts 3 and 4): "An intelligent, sneaky person that was hip to Lawndale’s social interactions and rules would know how to play this investigation. They’d find one of the suspects, integrate themselves using their own rep and popularity, make up a story, spin it out a bit, offer something to something while intending nothing. But Cindy had become Queen Bee because everyone else in the running had poisoned so many wells that the county was importing bottled water from another country. So she just went up to Joey and said: 'Hey, Joey, do you know the guy who gives out test results?'" (Part 4)


• Healing at Hogwart's, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Jane sat down beside Daria on her bed. They had been talking a bit, and Daria was shaking like a leaf. 'If something had happened to Quinn tonight, something worse...' Daria said. Jane nodded. 'I know.' 'No, I don't think you do. I-I ... I was out of my mind, I ... I did things I can't even...' Daria took a deep breath. 'It won't happen again, I promise. No more spells. I'm finished.'"


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (part 4): "Kevin couldn't stop looking at the penguin. He was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to wobble like that, and he was starting to think the head might break off and hurt someone. Normally he'd never have noticed something like that, but his time as the Safety Guy had taught him to notice stuff that wasn’t safe. And that parade float was definitely not safe."


• Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane, by Lord Yellowtail (epilogue): "Jane had always deserved better when she was alive. The universe’s inability to leave her in peace now left Question staring out into the endless black gulf at the edge of her formidable patience. She wouldn’t say it, but she was glad the Girl Scout had invited herself along. If Question had been left to her own devices, especially in the wake of her mother and ... Eric ... there was a strong possibility she might have done something ... stupid."


• Quinn's Code 04: Geekery at the Mega-Mall, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Sandi, I think you could have handled that confrontation better,' Tori said. 'Oh, Really? What do you mean?' Sandi asked, annoyed at Tori. 'You didn't act like the mature teenager you are, you acted more like either of your brothers would have,' Tori said. Sandi stared at Tori. Stacy slid down in her seat."


• Quinn Spirit Detective, by Reven384 (part 2): "'Okay let’s get down to business,' Koenma said pulling out an egg, 'This egg will be the key to your revival. It will hatch a spirit beast that will either bring you back to life or eat your soul depending on what kind of person you are.' Quinn paled remembering all the boys she milked for everything they were worth. She remembered the shoddy way she treated her family. Certainly she was no saint, but she didn’t think she deserved to have her soul eaten."


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club, by DIsaac (part 8): "SANDI: It's serious. Quinn and Jeffy aren't talking. STACY: Let's just assume we are being great best friends by doing nothing and staying out of the way. SANDI: But what kind of friends would we be? TIFFANY: (under her breath) Not a bunch of nosy stuck up bitches that's love meddling in the affairs of a friend when it's totally not need! SANDI: What? TIFFANY: Whhhhaaaaatttttt? SANDI: Nevermind."


• Unnamed story (IC: What would Lawndale be like if...), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Jake - That's not what I meant... necessarily. (turns radio off) The point is, the first day at a new school is bound to be difficult... (Daria empties the tic-tacs into the pill bottle.) Daria - (shakes pill bottle) Only if word that you blew up the last one gets there first. Jake – Uh... yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah..."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Kitchen Clone Wars), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "[SCENE: Li now appears before a live audience of Lawndale High Students, which seem to be surrounded by gun-toting armed guards. They applaud as if their safety depends on it. Li is dressed in a pantsuit that Liberace threw away for being too tacky and over-the-top.] LI: But which of my cooks - my Iron Chiefs - will bring honor to Lllllllawndale High? I SUMMON THE IRON CHIEFS!"


• Un-sureness, by roguebert (part 3): "'So...' Jane began. 'What’s up with you? You’re, like, a million miles - or at least two dimensions away.' She paused waiting for a response. 'You were right there with us until about half way through dinner. I seems like when I came back from the bathroom...' she broke off, not exactly knowing how to finish that sentence. In a TV-New York-tough guy accent, 'You know, relative or no, if that Amy-dame said something to offend... the boys and me can have a word...'"


• Untitled Batgirl Story (Non-Daria), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Six weeks later, I found him. I watched him shoot and kill a prostitute. Found out her name was Christy. She was 14. I was too late to stop him, but I got the gun that MAY have killed my parents. I also shot that cop. By accident as we struggled for control of the gun. That's the only reason I'm alive right now and being hunted by every cop in the 14th and there's no way I can make it to safety in the 15th."