Tweeting Before Twitter

Daria has certainly gotten into the spirit of Whistleblower Day, although the day is more about people reporting corruption than literal whistles. Still, this could be a good opportunity to expose Ms. Li's many crimes! Just kidding...there isn't enough time in the world to document all of those.

Perhaps it would help if Daria enlisted Jane to assist, especially because it's International Day of Friendship. Nothing says friendship like taking on The Man...which in this case is a woman.

Let's be honest, though: Daria's far more likely to stay home with a good book in honor of Paperback Book Day than take on a broken system. I don't blame her, because books of any binding are generally more appealing than, well, anything else.

Chocolate For All Parents! Especially Me!

Helen and Jake are celebrating Parents' Day properly with a nice family hug, although Daria might not agree that this is the best way to observe the holiday. Quinn is nowhere to be found, but rest assured that her parents will surely find some way to embarrass and/or horrify her before the day is over.

I am a parent, but I'm thinking I might rather participate in National Milk Chocolate Day! Maybe Jane can eat some unauthorized chocolate at school, or Daria and Tom could steal some of Quinn's candy given to her from her admirers...which, let's be honest, she was never going to eat anyway.

If you do steal chocolate, just don't get caught by the sheriff or you might meet the same fate as Mystik Spiral in the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day twenty-five years ago. The last thing Daria wants to do is make another long drive to bail someone out. Then again, if it gives her an excuse to avoid any further parental hugs, she might just consider it.

Fanfic Update!

• The Big Notebook, by BracedRhombus (COMPLETE!): "It was a slow afternoon at the Strieder Detective Agency. I was sitting at my table in the school library reading the Lawndale High Code of Ethics and laughing at the funny parts, when She walked in."


• Spider Quinn 10 The New Heroes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Later that evening there was a surprise on the news. 'Breaking news. A third vigilante has been sighted in Lawndale. The description matches neither SpiderGirl nor Ninja Talon.'"

Auntie Social

I'm not sure if Amy and Rita are arguing over who's the better aunt for Aunt and Uncle Day or if they're arguing about whether or not Rita's latest significant other counts as an uncle. I'd say he only counts if she hasn't broken up with him--or lost him to a cow-related skydiving accident--by the end of the week.

Whatever the case may be, they are clearly not getting along like a house on fire...and Daria would know, thanks to the events of the episode "Fire!" It aired on this day in 2000, and it set into motion events that would reverberate throughout fandom for years to come.

Fandom News!

• What's the deal with Helen's partnership at the firm?


• Vote in the poll: Is Daria a genius?


• What, in your own personal opinion were the best episodes?

I Think She Might Die of Dysentery

Helen is ready to set off for the wild and untamed unknown for Pioneer Day, but I hope she packed her cell phone. I don't think she'll get far with a chicken and a single wheel, after all. At the very least she'll want a few packages of frozen lasagna to eat along the way.

I hope Quinn and Daria find time to celebrate Cousins Day, either by refusing to acknowledge each other as sisters or reaching out to Erin to give her some much-needed support. Maybe they can invite her to watch Gone With the Wind with them!

Eleven years ago today, CollegeHumor posted their "Daria: High School Reunion" trailer for a hypothetical live-action Daria movie. I'm still sad that it wasn't real, but it was fun to watch!

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 26): "As it turned out, both the Reverent and Maggie were useless with computers; though they were not unknown at Tíra, the Reverent’s preferences had always leaned towards more ancient methods of recording and retrieving knowledge, and Maggie as a humble kitchen maid had never been granted access."


• The Future Involves Some Internet Drama and Lawsuits (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by shiva (COMPLETE!): "'This is your favorite lawyer, Jodie Mackenze otherwise known on the internet as the LegalCynic!'"


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 39): "It took several weeks, but Daria thought she was beginning to adjust to the fact that she was a witch."


• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 2): "'Come on, Daria, I can't keep the Sloanes waiting,' Helen calls from the foyer."


• Mega Mall Mega Problems, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn?' Xavier asked. 'Yes?' Quinn asked. 'You think your sister and Brittany...?' 'Maybe,' Quinn answered with a giggle. 'It’ll be fine.'"


• Prehistoric Giant Dragonflies (Remix), by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The skirt, Genevieve decided, was not her. She was not a skirt person, and this one in particular made her realize just how off the wrong length could actually look."


• Summer's Here, Daria!, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Jane: (through her perspective, a camera hanging around her neck, bobbing against her chest as she walks, looking down at her boots, entering Lawndale)"


• Tomorrow Never Dyes (Remix), by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The island was fantastic, just as Trent and Qiana had promised."

Lock Up Your Ritalin!

Seems there's a serious rat problem, and just in time for Ratcatcher’s Day! I think Jake qualifies for this holiday, because after all squirrels are allegedly just rats with fluffy tails.

If he does another combination trip for releasing a squirrel into the wild and going go-kart driving, he should invite Tom to come along. It's National Thomas Day, and that would be an excellent way to celebrate! Just don't tell Tommy Sherman, though. He ruins everything.

While everyone else deals with rats and squirrels and go-karts, Daria will just stay home and quietly celebrate World Brain Day by, well...being one. If you have a brain (or even half of one!) then have a great holiday.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Bob Newhart.

They Finally Put an Airhead on the Moon!

Tiffany is celebrating Moon Day by...looking for another moon while sitting on the Moon? I don't know. What I do know is that today commemorates when man first walked on the moon on this day fifty-five years ago.

While Tiffany is busy stargazing, her intellectual equal Kevin might take another shot at joining the Chess Team for International Chess Day! I just hope someone explains to him that you don't king anyone in chess.

Jane, on the other hand, might like something more active to do, like go for a run. After the events of "See Jane Run," which aired on this day in 1998, she'll probably choose to go solo.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 37): "The gray and stormy weather continued lashing that part of Pennsylvania all weekend, with really dark skies and freezing winds that just kept coming from Lake Erie, everything felt cold and weird and meanwhile normal life carried on for almost everyone at Lawndale."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 38): "Daria filed in with the other students and took her seat on about halfway down the classroom. The History of Magic class was structured like a Mundie college-level class: with lectures and smaller sections for students and instructors to discuss the content."


• Life Gets Better Every Letter That You Write Me, by ladyevil (part 3): "Jesse and Trent read Daria’s letter in the back of the Tank. 'You think she likes me?' Trent asked. 'I mean, you know....' 'Likes you likes you?' Jesse supplied."


• Spider Quinn 10 The New Heroes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Did you hear. SpiderGirl and Ninja Talon spared again last night,' Tori said to Stacy and Quinn."

I Doubt Kevin Knows How to Spell His Bologna

Kevin is completely prepared to drive his favorite vehicle for the anniversary of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. I think he's going to have a hard time fitting into the driver's seat in that outfit, though. Still, common sense has never stopped him from doing something in the past, so why start now?

I hope the Morgendorffers know that today is Perfect Family Day, but hopefully they don't take that literally. They have a hard enough time just managing to be in the same room at the same time, so "perfection" is probably a bar much too high for them.

A good start would be to just try celebrating World Listening Day, which would mean setting aside any phones or books or rants about unpleasant childhood memories and actually paying attention to each other. It...might not end well.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Shannen Doherty.

Bon Appetit!

Here's Jake living his best life as a chef for National Personal Chef Day, although I can't help but notice that he appears to be pan-frying frozen lasagna. I guess I shouldn't knock it until I've tried it, and at least he doesn't appear to be using a lethal dose of pepper.

Let's also wish Joanne a happy World Snake Day, or rather we will once she gets put back in her tank. In the meantime, be mindful of your surroundings and don't accept any hugs from her no matter how friendly she seems.

Finally, it's National Wedding Invitation Day and I really hope neither Erin nor Rita send out any invitations to weddings. Those two have more than filled their quota on marriages, and I don't think Helen could handle the stress of yet another family event, anyway.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Makes A Deal 2.22: You Can (Not) Revise, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "IT WAS the first Saturday of 2013, and Daria Morgendorffer felt like Hell."


• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 1): "'Come out to the Zen with me on Friday night.' 'No, no way. It takes me a week to get the stickiness of the floor out of my boots.'"


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 29): "'Hey Mom! I’m going to Barrows’ stables to check up on Lightning. Do you need me to pick up anything from the store?' Angie called out as she picked up the car keys lying on the counter."


• Spider Quinn 10 The New Heroes, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 3): "'Yes, that’s me,' Brittany admitted. She waited to see what SpiderGirl would do next. Whether she would also reveal her secret identity or not."

No Nudes is Good Nudes!

I don't know how Jane talked Daria into celebrating National Nude Day, but I'm pretty sure Daria is regretting it already. Brittany wants to make sure everyone knows that she will only be participating if a nude scene is crucial to her character.

It isn't recommended to spend any time nude around sharks, even on Shark Awareness Day. A safer option might be to see the Great White Shark tooth on display at Jordana's museum, but it's also a lot less interesting.

Today is a double anniversary for the episodes "The Teachings of Don Jake" in 1997 and "Lane Miserables" in 1999. I think we found out more about the Lane family in those two episodes than in the rest of the series combined!

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Shelley Duvall.


• Discuss the recent Fan Fiction dot net outage.


• Vote in MJQ's poll: which utensil goes in the dominant hand?

Leader of the Mack!

Mack's ready to roll for National Motorcycle Day, although I wish he was wearing a helmet. Considering he's the only one on the football team with a functioning brain, it might be a good idea to protect it as much as possible. Kevin, meanwhile, can feel free to be "rebellent" by riding without protection. It's not like there's anything to damage, anyway.

I hope Daria and Jane share a round of cheese fries in honor of National French Fry Day, but let's hope Quinn doesn't decide to regale us with her "Greasy Fry" masterpiece. No one wants to hear crappy poetry when they're trying to enjoy their junk food.

Last but not least, it was on this day in 2000 that the episode "Legends of the Mall" first aired. That was long enough ago that the year 2000 itself could now feature as a period-specific era for an urban legend in the episode!

Fanfic Update!

• Choice of the Cheerleader 02 - A Fair of Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "While Quinn was talking to Brittany, Stacy approached Kevin."


• Daria Makes A Deal 2.22: You Can (Not) Revise, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (part 4): "The party thrummed and pulsed and mingled with itself. It wound around furniture and up steps."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 37): "Albus Dumbledore was forced to set aside the problem of finding and destroying Tom Riddle’s horcruxes for the next several days to deal with other matters: his duties as head of the International Confederation of Wizards, as Chief Warlock in the Wizengamut, and with running Hogwarts."


• he’s stupid (i’m smarting), by silly56 (COMPLETE!): "your feet are planted on the floor, palms rested on the cool comforter beneath you."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by wacokid (COMPLETE!): "'Look, Daria, the proof is irrefutable.' 'Jane, this is ridiculous."


• Upchuck's Future Career in Media (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In his studio, Charles Ruttheimer III was waiting for the cue before going back into his ranting monologue."

What Rhymes with "Hallelujah"?

I see that Mystik Spiral (minus Trent) has gotten fully into the spirit--get it?--of Gospel Day. I'm kind of glad it's just Nick, Max, and Jesse, though. I can't imagine the kind of lyrics Trent would think up for gospel music.

Also on the subject of religious themes, it was on this day in 1925 that the Scopes Trial began in Dayton, Tennessee. It's been nearly one hundred years since teachers had to fight for the right to teach facts in school, and I wish things had come a long way since then, but...well.

If, like Kevin's mother, you prefer kitties to monkeys, then I hope you have a great National Kitten Day! Jake should feel free to celebrate by adopting that cat his father never let him have, but it would be best to steer clear of Mr. Whiskers. Cats can hold grudges for a loooooong time.

Fandom News!

• entrancedcat wonders about Austin Covello's essays.


• Fandom remembers former PPMB member crossada75.


• ddakl found a mysterious fragment on Deviantart.

I'm Very Grateful for the Boxer Shorts

Jake's gone a little too far for Body Painting Day, or at least I hope that's body paint. It seems pretty likely, because given Jake's temperament I doubt he could handle the pain of that much tattooing under any circumstances.

Daria, meanwhile, would much rather celebrate Video Games Day by cracking open that Cannibal Fragfest game. If you feel like celebrating, too, then you could play the Daria's Inferno game, although I suggest you brace yourself when you get to the steam tunnels. Yikes.

If you're feeling young at heart, then please enjoy Be a Kid Again Day! Jake never completely left childhood behind, so this one will be easy for him, but I'm sure Daria will pass.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 36): "The lonely Garden House was just as cold, isolated and all surrounded by lethal woods as it had ever been, and yet it was really surprising how normal and even lively it could look sometimes, especially through the few sunny days that took place about once every two or three weeks."


• La Dolce Daria, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Daria, Jane and the Carbones stood on a platform waiting for a train. The kids were complaining."


• Spider Quinn 10 The New Heroes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Quinn saw Mr. DeMartino get annoyed as Ms. Li entered with a new student."

Be Sure to Celebrate With Some Chackers and Creese!

Helen is clearly regretting her decision to walk into Daria's room without knocking, especially considering it's International Kissing Day and she really should have known better. It's all right, Helen! Just go find Jake and celebrate with him...for the two minutes of spare time you allow yourself per day, and assuming he isn't currently raging at his long-dead father.

I am very pointedly not going to wish Daniel Dotson a happy National Daniel Day, because the man is a sleaze and a hack and he just doesn't deserve nice things. Fortunately, he and Alison will probably be more than enough punishment for each other, so it should all work out in the end.

While we're on the subject of things that make people feel sick, it was on this day in 1998 that the episode "Ill" first aired. Daria never really managed to get to the bottom of that mysterious rash, but on the bright side it never came back, either. At least, as far as we know.

Curiouser and Curiouser!

Stacy is about to play a nice round of croquet in honor of Alice in Wonderland Day, but I hope she remembers to let the Queen of Hearts win. Then again, after dealing with Sandi for so long I don't think she'll have trouble with any tyrants. You can read a selection of Daria/Alice crossovers here.

Let's hope no one tells Travis the Singing Cowboy that it's National Country Music Day, because he might decide to play two hours of Conway Twitty songs. Then again, it's better than hearing his story about being chased by a bull.

To all the American Daria fans, happy Independence Day! To all of the British Daria fans, nyah nyah nyah you can't boss us around anymore, so there!

Fanfic Update!

• Are We Crazy Yet?, by Lexarius (part 5): "Daria gathered her stuff and put it in her backpack. The day had been somewhat tedious, but light on homework, fortunately."


• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 33 - 35): "Ella Anne opened her eyes as the Sallakovian wolves vanished in her dreams, she could still hear their howls and cries so far into the distance and then she realized that she was not in that place anymore, but all safe and happy instead at her new home in Lawndale." (Part 34) (Part 35)


• Friend of a Friend, by Doggodoaattack (part 10): "Charlie walked down the stairs, and saw Tom in the dining room, the cook setting down a plate for her at the table. Tom was reading a newspaper as he stabbed a sausage with the end of his fork."


• A Gift of Art Therapy, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane opened the door to find her best friend's annoying sister, Quinn there. 'What are you doing here?' she asked."


• Stranger Without Time, by radiofox (part 12): "*Beep Beep.* Quinn slammed her hand down on her pink and yellow square-shaped alarm clock."

Keep An Eye Out for Mind Control Babes from Space!

Someone had better warn Artie to make himself scarce because it's World UFO Day and it looks like the aliens are back to take another victim. Today would be a good day to attend a UFO convention, where you can get your picture taken with the cardboard alien!

Perhaps once the danger has passed, Artie can get up and tell everyone about his experiences, as long as he doesn't get stage fright. As it's Freedom From Fear of Speaking Day, I hope he can overcome his fear because I'm sure everyone would like to hear about his nicely pressed pants.

However, why speak when you can say it with dance? It's National Disco Day and dancing to disco music can send a clear message: I have terrible taste in music. Rita might enjoy today, though, as she reminisces about the disco floor at her (first) wedding.

Fandom News!

• Discuss Reform party leader Nigel Farage.