No pin-headed historical person could ever make that much sense

Thirteen years ago, it was time for "The Big House" to pop out of the TV tube. We got to see one of Andrea's big moments as she rooted for DeMartino's messy demise, and Helen's imitation of Moses, and the deliberate flouting of parental authority. And Daria sneaking home in some unknown person's car for reasons never explained. What was she doing out so late with no explanation?

Favorite lines:

• "Stop tiptoeing around like a geek. Have a little dignity, Daria." (Quinn)
• "Destroy our lives with your crushing rules and regulations? I can't breathe, Mother! I can't breathe!" (Quinn)
• "No pin-headed historical person could ever make that much sense." (ditto)
• "Don't you see how your rules are strangling me? Yes, I went on a date, but we're in love, and all the rules and regulations in the world can't stop that." "In love?" "With whom?" "His name is Cliff. Oop, no wait, it's Clint. I'm not positive, but I can find out at school." (Quinn and parents)
• "But a voice told him that his work here on Earth wasn't finished. Some of the students weren't wetting the bed yet." (Jane, finally)
• "Your father and I want you to have a fair hearing. Then we'll punish you." (Helen)
• "Bureaucracy is the price we pay for impartiality." "Jefferson!" "Stalin." (Helen and Jake)
• "This is a trick, isn't it?" "Yes." (Quinn and Daria)
• "I suspect you have some scam worked out for yourself, but since I can't prove anything, I'm asking you not to rat on me." "Hmmm, okay, yes, I will do this thing you ask. But one day, I may ask a favor of you." "Never mind." (Daria and Quinn)
• "Think anything has happened yet?" "You mean anything cool? Nah, the ambulance is still in the lot." (Daria and Jane)
• "So what happened? Does Daria have to pave the driveway or something?" (Quinn again)

True bliss that episode was.

GNUZ!

• Daria will be shown on Logo TV on July 8th. That's the LGT-I-forgot-all-the-other-letters channel. Why? you ask. Well, because of this. Never argue with scientistics.
• Who is the worst teacher in Lawndale High? Charles RB ignited a firestorm of commentary with this tidbit. Good going, sir!

FF.net

• Fresh TV—The Musical! by Mikata88 (Part 1): Curtain up. Interior, suburban house bedroom. Chris McLean from Total Drama is standing there with Mrs. Masterson (Jen's mom from 6teen) preparing for a busy day at work. Stanley from the mall rolls by on a Big Wheel, prompting Chris to break out in song. (Daria/Total Drama/6teen/others)
• The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 19 and 20): "Glad to be accepted so quickly." "Willow was part of it," he said. "I think she was embarrassed by something." "She gave me a hard time the first time I went to Sunnydale," Daria said. "It took her awhile to accept me. I'm glad to see she has." "She has," he said. "Good thing for me that you were in the area," Daria said. "I guess sometimes luck can be on my side." "Not entirely luck," Oz said. "I was meditating in Tibet when I got a sign that I needed to be in Kentucky on or about July 1." "Did this sign say 'One Way' on the other side?" (Daria/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
• Technicolor Dream, by Miss Pennyfeather (Part 3): If he just dropped his guitar and walked off the stage, would someone say something? Would Jesse run after him? And if he did run, would he be able to stop him? Where would he go anyway? The stage was the only place that made him do anything. He had no interest in living sometimes. Except when he was singing. But he couldn't sing forever. He had to do something in between. Maybe go on a journey. Only his maps were torn and stained. Penny had shown him his village once. It had looked good from the map, but in reality maybe it was a sad, glorious dump. Maybe he needed to go help some people. He couldn't help himself.
  

PPMB (working on the fanfics section now, sorry for the delay) (done, I think)

• NEW! The Cornfield, by Smijey (Part 1): Jake and Daria's eyes locked briefly for a second via the rearview mirror, then Jake broke contact. A memory rose unbidden in his mind: "Bring her back, Daria! For God's sake, BRING HER BACK!" (FF.net)
  
• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (Part 3): Ms. Barch gave a slight nod as if agreeing with the principal. Of course he's going to act differently, he isn't Daria. The Morgendorffers are playing some kind of sick game, and Daria is just a pawn. She then saw Ms. Li open the door and let Helen Morgendorffer inside. Ms. Barch's face hardened as the mother of her favorite student began talking about Daria's change to Dorian. The story has been rehearsed to perfection. Oh... so Daria is staying with an aunt... yeah, right. Aunty straightjacket maybe. I wonder where they shipped her off to. She listened as her co-workers asked the lawyer a tremendous amount of questions. Helen answered them without pause or hitch. I had heard she was a good attorney, now I see why. She has an answer for everything, and they are buying it hook, line and damn sinker. We are all educated people. They can't be falling for this crap can they? They are acting worse than Kevin Thompson on a bad day. (FF.net)
  
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): Artie paced back and forth. He clawed at the sides of his head, fingernails scraping against the cloth of his cap before leaving red trails on the skin of his cheeks before moving back up to start again. His eyes never stopped moving, flitting here and there in a desperate attempt to see something that wasn't there yet. Every once in a while he would glance nervously over at Axl, but the hacker was deep in his own mental world, a place where Artie couldn't go. Trying to access the mental link to the computer even through the most basic electrode crown gave him incredible headaches.
• Finn Morgendorffer 51: A Matter of Trust, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Daria didn’t have any classes in Avery Hall, but she knew where it was. Just before the group meeting started, she took a quick glance through the door’s glass pane to see how many people were there: about two dozen, with a sixty-forty split between male and female. How many of them were screenwriters? The poster said they specifically wanted to recruit some, so not many? If they were screenwriters, how many of them were devoted to it, or were they just moonlighting? Daria wasn’t sure if she should go in or not. They’d look at her just like people did in high school. They’d make comments about weirdness or egg-headedness. The guys would say she was ugly, the girls would probably comment on her boots and being a lesbian.
  
• For Honor! by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): “Ms. Li, I must say this is horribly unethical!” "Not to mention stupid!” “Humph. Mr. O’Neill, Mrs. Barch, it is not your place to judge my choices. I will bring glory to Laaawndale High!” “You seem to lack even the slightest idea of how genetics work.” “I don’t need to know, that‘s your job.” “And who might you be planning to carry this baby?” “You can’t keep it in a tube or something?”
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (continued): Jane nudged open the guard room door, peered out, and saw that the lights were out. I probably shouldn't run around blindly, waving heavy guns. My reputation is iffy enough, already.... Let's see: there's always an evacuation route posted, with a map; where would that be?
• Grove Hell on Earth, by Charles RB (continued): As they came up to the broken-down black van on the side of the road, Rob stared in shock and went: “Oh my god. It’s the A-Team.” “I don’t know,” said Daria, taking a closer look at the filthy machine. “I’m not sure it’s meant to be black.” By the van, two young men—a lanky, sleepy faced man with an attempt at a beard and a blank-eyed long-haired youth with a leather vest and no other top; the very thing you’d imagine if you heard the word “slacker” or “student band” —were looking at their engine in dismay. “Looks like they need a hand.” Rob pulled over to park. “And it looks like that one needs a shirt,” said Daria. (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 40): "So tell me, Quinn, what classes are you taking?" "I don't know. Don't we have until Christmas to decide that?" "Christmas?" cried Jill. "You have to decide today! The deadline is at 5 pm! My God!" Jill leaped up. "You have until 5 pm to register for all of your classes next term." "Oh, shit!" Quinn said. "I left my application form in my room! There's no way I can get it!" (FF.net)
  
• In the Doldrums, by Erin Mills (COMPLETE!): The light blue sedan pulled up in front of Lawndale Elementary School, near the designated entrance for first graders. On the other side of the chain link fence adjacent to the building, a variety of elementary school students played, chatted, and otherwise ran rampant over the playground and sports field, enjoying the last few precious minutes before the bell rang and they would be forced to line up and go into the building to start another day of classes. Inside the car, Jake and Helen Morgendorffer turned to face the backseat, smiling brightly. "Okay, kiddo, here it is! Your new school!" Jake said, grinning. "Isn't it exciting?" Helen added. "I bet you can't wait to get in there and make all sorts of new friends." In the back seat, a young girl with long brown hair, about six years old, looked at her parents from behind overly large glasses that she had yet to grow into and said in a quiet voice, "I don't wanna go." (FF.net)
  
• It's a Living, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): “In this exciting episode of The World’s Greatest Fisherman, our hero has just finished his battle against the Art Maestro, and now he faces his greatest challenge yet! Red Snapper and Cynica, teamed up for the first time, with a special guest villain! Will he come out on top, or will he be defeated by his two strongest foes? Stay tuned, after this important message from McGregor Facial Tissues. You can never have enough facial tissues.”
  
• Kabti-Ilani-Marduk, by Malakite (Part 3): Quinn's heart caught in her throat as she approached the phone. She'd made it to about five feet away when she heard what she'd been dreading. "Quinn? What are doing near the phone? I know you couldn't possibly be finished with your homework, and you know how I feel about that." Quinn, for her part, froze in her tracks as soon as Daria spoke. She managed to find her voice, or at least a squeaky wavering knockoff of it, and replied, "I have to call Maggie?"
• Life in the Past Jane, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “I’d shake hands, but...” Jane Lane looks like she’s been swimming in paint. Notorious for her sporadic output—long lazy periods followed by 24/7 bursts of work—she’d just happened to get some inspiration on the day of this interview. She showed little embarrassment about the mess in her studio and on her clothes, revealing the laconic personality that made her so famous on MTV’s reality show, Daria.
  
• Life's Little Mix Ups, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "I know, I'm sorry. I've just felt awkward. I mean, Jane then you... I feel like I was using you, Daria. I can't believe I even mentioned Jane." "She had already told me anyway," Daria said with a sigh. "She felt guilty. Anyway, Tom, you know how I had to go the hospital?" "Oh, yeah. You said you thought you had a bug. Are you feeling okay?" Daria remained silent. "Is everything alright?" The doorbell rang. "Someone's at the door." Tom got up. Daria was whispering something but Tom couldn't hear her. "Daria, you'll have to speak up. I can't hear you." He realized she was crying. "Daria, are you crying? What happened!? Are you alright?" He said this as he opened the door and saw Jane standing there, ready to kill. "Jane? I'm kind of bu—"
• The Name Game, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): They’d had the misfortune to turn up at the hospital at the same time. With, quite visibly, the same man’s fetus. Jane looked around the waiting room, desperately trying to find a distraction; Daria simply looked down at her boots. After an eternity, Jane said: “So... should we give them matching names?”
  
• Poltricks Are Not for Kids, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer drops two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a highball glass on her desk. She watches a row of TVs tuned to assorted networks. She glares ferociously at the middle TV, currently showing a tall woman in a dark blue suit finishing up an address.
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): "So, how's that insomnia treatin' ya?" Jane asked once they were outside. "If I could be sure I'd be learning anything worthwhile, I'd wish I was this alert every day in school," the other girl replied. "It's almost like being hyper awake. Even the dark seems to be vibrating right now." "That's probably what Quinn feels like all the time."
  
• That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (continued): "Though completely lost in class, I can run, catch and pass, and tackle when we've stunk. Thanks to these specific skills, Ultra Cola pays the bills, so I never, never flat-out flunk!" "What, never?" "No, never!" (Daria/H.M.S. Pinafore)
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]