Demoted to a Lowly Snowball! O, the Inhumanity!

Yes, it was only four years ago this very day that an international body of astrologers astronomers voted to strip poor pathetic Pluto of its hard-earned certificate of planet-tude and demote it to a flavorless Slushie! What an outrage! And now it's not even the biggest Slushie out there!

What this has to do with Daria, I have no idea. It just showed up on my calendar. I'll try to have something more interesting tomorrow.

KNEWZ!

• Charles RB has discovered a new online essay in response to one on The Paris Review's blog asking, "Where Are the Darias?" The new essay is on TVSquad.com and is called, "In Search of 'Daria': Where Have All the Snarky TV Teens Gone?" (It gives some good answers!)
• A.J. reports another online essay on the seven laziest TV characters ever... but one of them does NOT deserve to be on the list!
• Hazazel wants to know, are there any characters in Daria or Beavis and Butt-head who could turn out to be Jake Morgendorffer's offspring? Not with Helen, of course.
• Trent is the new Goblin King, in Technicolor! Thank you, Breitasparrow! Most excellent.
• Interested in the #Daria chat room? Read all about it.
• The thread on the Midwest Dariacon 2010 now has pictures! Good ones!
• A thread is running about Daria co-creator Susie Lynn Lewis.
• Beavis and Butt-Head: could they have become... government officials?
• Charles RB has a creative thread for Scenes We'd Like To See.
• Greystar has introduced an intriguing Iron Chef: Let's Not & Say We Did. All explained at the link. Kinky!
• Why does Mack hang around Daria? Charles RB's thread has taken on legs.
  

FF.net

• Trust, by JohnnyStyle (COMPLETE!): The teenage brunette girl turned the collar around in her hands. Her eyes glistened with the tears she could not hold back. She could not believe her beloved pet, the only creature she trusted, was gone. "It was just a cat, Sandi," Linda Griffin told her daughter. "Get over it." "You just don't get it, Mother," the teenager said coldly as she carried the collar back to her own room.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 7): Everything was laid out for Henry to come over that evening. The pastries were set out, the espresso machine was ready to go. All that was missing was the guest of honor, but Helen knew she set things up so early. Kids could be notorious at being tardy. Daria was seated and waiting for him, and Helen would not allow her to move from the living room until Henry showed up. Jake was trying to figure out the espresso machine in the kitchen, and Daria hoped he was at least somewhat presentable. Finn was upstairs in his room. He promised to do a meet-and-greet when Henry was here, but he didn’t need to stick around for the whole thing. Daria would be glad that he did: Finn would take the opportunity to embarrass her. Whether he actually did or not was something else, but he would attempt it, Daria was quite certain of that.
  

• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (Parts 3 and 4): "The boy is thirteen years old, Helen. How could they expect him to take care of himself, much less her?" "Calm down, Jake, I know. I'm going to have to call social services in the morning and report it." "What will happen to them if you do that, Helen?" "They'll be put into foster care. I doubt they would even be kept together. With their advanced ages, the chances of them getting adopted are almost nil." "There has to be a better solution, Helen." (Part 4)
  
• Moving Pictures V, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): Winter comes to Chevy Chase. A thin dusting of snow upon street and yard alike. Wreaths dangle from windows. Lights hang upon house fronts. Amy, in a black winter coat and matching woolen cap, stands on the sidewalk in front of a large, gated house. Her cheeks are pink from the cold. She clutches a battered microphone in a gloved hand. "Christmas," she intones dramatically. "To some wise men, it's the most wonderful time of the year. But is that really true? Are kids really jingle-belling? Is everybody truly telling us to be of good cheer? Hi. I'm Amy Barksdale. Join me for this year's Freaks, Creeps, and Phantasms Christmas special, as I take to the streets to uncover the secret meanings and terrible truths of this most jolly of holidays."
  

• Old Habits Die Hard, by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): Daria allowed herself a smile as she pushed the elevator button just before she got out of it. She raised her newly acquired weapon and dragged her feet to the stairs. It was going to be a long night. (Daria/Die Hard)
• Senior Year, by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): It became easy to pretend she and Charles were having sex....
  
• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): Jane sat thinking of what the future might hold. With the arrival of Daria in Lawndale, Jane had discovered a reason to care about life and her future, and with Daria's help Jane's grades had rapidly improved to a point where she now had the FBI academy set firmly in her sights. Daria on the other hand had found herself enjoying teaching Jane and was looking at a profession in that field. Except now Jane wondered if she would get that chance... They had been on a "driving to get out of Lawndale for a while" trip and found themselves out in the middle of the dessert when the UFO had found them, or more specifically, found Daria.... (Daria/The Greatest American Hero)
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The battle was going badly against Quinn. Finally, Daria declared: "That does it! I'll have to use my strongest Pokemon: Hewhosmeltitdealtit!"

• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Lt. Daria Morgendorffer collapsed in a bleeding heap, staring at the red-cloaked, cat-suited figure in stunned horror. "DELPHI Pacific Command down! Dozens dead! A whole city on fire! Why?! WHO ARE YOU?!"
  
• Wed, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Eric and Marianne stood together at an altar. They spoke in unison of their love and commitment to one another. It had been only four months since Eric realized he was in love with the secretary of his original secret object of lust, Helen, but that was not true love and Helen was married. Those feelings where not pure, these feelings were. He found himself engrossed with every quirk she had. He found himself loving her kids as if they were his own. He even found out that Marianne loved dogs and fishing like he did. But he was really certain of his love when Marianne went out of her way to be there during his bout with depression that led to his addiction to amphetamines. Now she stood before him in a flowing wedding gown looking more beautiful than anyone in the world could possibly look. "If anyone one here objects to this union speak now..."
  
• A Work in Progress, Subject to Revision: "May I ask you some questions, please..." by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Thanks for seeing me, Quinn." "Anything to help my sister!" "Lets start at the beginning. What do you remember about your early life with your birth parents?" "Ew! The smell! Stale beer and cigarettes. He was always yelling at her, my birth mother. There were fights. I remember hiding with Daria in our room, to get away from the fighting and screaming." "What do you recall about your sister from that time?" "She took care of me when they were gone... sometimes... they'd be gone for days."