Saturday, August 7, 2010

Fanfic Central

Let's skip the calendar/date stuff and dive right into the fanfic, why don't we.

No sense in waiting for it.

But first the news.

NoOoO0Z!!
PPMB
  • NEW! At the Fics with Quinn and Stacy, by Chris Tucker (Parts 1 and 2 and 3): "Hi! And welcome to another edition of At the Fics with Jane and Daria. I'm Quinn Morgendorffer and my co-host is Stacy Rowe. We're filling in for Daria and Jane. Last week's show took a LOT out of them and they're taking a short break. So, this time we're gonna talk about those really weird hookups that those super-creepy fanfic writers can't stop writing." "That's right, Quinn. First off, it's the really icky hook ups with the Fashion Club. I don't get it, what's so hot about two hot girls who are really good friends kissing each other?" "RE-allly! I mean, what's the point? Come on, lets show the audience what I mean about how silly it is. Stacy, kiss me." (Part 2) (Part 3)
  • Daria/Dorian 6: Christmas Chaos, by LadieT (Part 4): Jane could see the concern on Tom's face. As he approached, Tom noticed the young man standing beside Jane. He decided it was in his best interest not to go any closer. Jane nudged Dorian. Dorian nodded and they walked towards Jane's ex. Quinn led Lillian over to the mall's entrance. Jane, Dorian and Tom stood there in an uncomfortable silence. "I sprained my ankle on a class hiking trip." "That's terrible. How long will you be on crutches?" "About another week. Could have been worse if Dorian," Jane pointed in his direction, "hadn't of been there. He's taken really good care of me. I'm sorry Tom, let me introduce you. Tom Sloane meet Dorian Morgendorffer. Dorian my ex-boyfriend Tom."
  • Dimwits & Dragons, by Ken T. (Chapter 3): "Well, there's good news. There's so many of them, I doubt they'll notice when we walk in. The bad news is, if they do notice us, we won't have much time to say our prayers before we're hacked into bite-size chunks." "Is there any other way we could look for Mack?" Upchuck asked, uneasily. "Nope." Daria said flatly. "What about your hat? Maybe you could conjure something up." "I'm as new to this stuff as the rest of you. I don't know how this thing works."
  • NEWER! Finn Morgendorffer 55: Dreamer Without a Cause, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 4 and 5): Normally, Jane and Daria got pizza alone, and Daria knew why. There were few people she could count as friends in Raft, and it was pretty much limited to the club, and Jane didn’t want to put Daria out by constantly bringing over people. But now, the twosome became a group of five. “So this is the legendary Henry.” Miranda laughed a bit. It seemed Jane had told her stories. (Part 5)
  • Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (Part 6 and 7): “I hate myself in a formal dress, and everyone else, too. You don't look too thrilled about things, either.” “Oh, no,” said Daria. “I'm overjoyed to be at this big family event. I have such fun with three family members on a day-to-day basis, who wouldn’t want to hang out with even more of them? I can’t wait to hear another thrilling anecdote about how someone last saw me when I was in diapers.” “There goes my line then,” said Amy. “Let's see, you're in college now, or something.” “Still high school, unfortunately.” “I have some vague memories of high school, but these days, you all carry weapons, right?” “Nah, that was back in Highland. I just acted as a spotter.” “Well, how are you ever going to be a cool kid without a gun, Daria?” (Part 7) (FF.net)
  • NEWEST! I Was a Teenage Sex Kitten for an Alien Love Goddess from Planet Zippotron in Sensual-Surround Kink-O-Rama 9-D and Cosmocolor! by Erin M. (Part 1): Angela Li stared at the special news report on her office TV. She then pressed a button on the underside of her desk. The shelves behind her split and slid aside, revealing an impressive control panel complete with monitors, flashing lights, readouts, and other expensive accouterments paid for by illegally appropriated funds. She quickly checked her own readings from the myriad security devices installed around the school, then slumped in her chair. It was true. "I knew this day would come," she murmured. She spun around in her chair, and grabbed the PA microphone. The students had to be warned and prepared for the coming of the alien threat. (NEWEST! FF.net)
  • It's the Suits! by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Attention: we are under attack!" cried the voice of Ms. Li over the intercom. "Yes, we're being attacked by barbarian hordes." Daria quipped. Much to her surprise, everyone including Jane stood up. "Jane, what's going on?" Jane looked over at her friend with harsh eyes for a moment, but then she remembered a simple fact and her eyes softened. "Damn it, Daria, for a sec I forgot!" She turned to Mr. O’Neill, who now had a tough-as-nails expression on his face that actually made Daria's head hurt to look at. "Sir, Daria is not from Lawndale! She has no battle experience and is uninformed." "I forgot about that. Daria, you are a fine student, you may be excused. Jane will also be excused to lead you to the civilian shelter. God-speed, Lane." He said this as he and Jane saluted each other. "What the hell is going on here?" Daria yelled.
  • Jane Lane: Ace Attorney—Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (Parts 7 and 8): The science classroom wasn’t too different from what Jane remembered. A blackboard and the teacher’s desk at the front, with several rows of tables and stools. At the back and at the side of the classroom there were some cabinets, and an emergency shower. Next to the teacher’s desk, there was a door for a closet, probably where Barch kept her stuff. “Well, well, doesn’t it bring good memories, kitten?” said Charles. Jane was about to tell him not to call her ‘kitten’, if he wanted his shins to remain intact, when the sound of something hitting wood distracted her. “Who is there?” she asked, standing by the door to stop whoever was inside with them to escape them. (Part 8)
  • John Lane 47: Another Look in the Mirror, by RLobinske (Part 2): Almost ready for bed, John took a t-shirt from his dresser and pulled it over his head. As his head cleared the shirt, he noticed the dusty garter setting on his shelf. Curious, he picked it up, blew the dust away and stared at the small, elastic band. That means your garter is null and void. Daria's comment came to mind. He thought back to that evening two years before and felt a twinge of dismay.
  • The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Parts 14 and 15): Daria asked Jane and Quinn if they wanted to go with her to physical therapy. Quinn had plans to go over to Stacy's house. Jane decided to join them. Daria called shotgun. As Jane loaded Daria's wheelchair into the trunk, Jake approached her. "Have you ever been with Daria to therapy before?" "No, Dad." "It's hard to watch Jane. They really put her through the ringer. So keep in mind they are only doing it to help her. She has made great improvements since she started, but she gets frustrated. Maybe having you there will help her stay motivated." (Part 15)
  • Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (continued): The uncomfortable silence is broken by Daria dropping her knife and fork to her plate. "Look, I need to know what you guys expect from me. Because whatever you want, I can do it but not if you don't tell me what that is." Jake's been in a state of confusion since 8:00 A.M. The last thing he did before he left Buxton Ridge had been to spit on the ground right before he exited the front gate; the last thing his daughter did was make a stone rubbing of the coat of arms which she then gingerly tucked away in her duffel bag. He's never seen anyone look like hell before but his first look at Daria would qualify as such. Maybe he had overreacted but when he caught a glimpse of her bruised, exhausted face he'd rushed over to her, ready and willing to hug her and never let go. The moment he had entered her personal space, she had snapped off a salute and moved to shake his hand. The urge to hug her had died and his confusion had started. "What do you mean, kiddo?"
  • The Misery Chick, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Jane mulled over her brief career as a high school student and found herself dissatisfied. Yes, she had pulled up her average in time for the SAT’s, made a considerable amount of money for college, even gotten into the school of her choice- but it all seemed empty. Here she stood on the cusp, just one short step away from adulthood, ready to leave her childhood behind... and found herself with no one to say goodbye to. Having surrendered herself to this melancholy, Jane never heard anyone walk up behind her. A light tap on the shoulder announced the presence of an unexpected companion.
  • My World Alone: The Start of Jane Lane's Journey, by OverlordMikey (Part 1): Jane sighed as she looked over at Daria, sitting blankly at the desk unmoving. Jane got up and walked over to her friend. She looked at the computer in front of Daria who was frozen in mid-sentence of the story she had been working on. "Heh, only a few more days till graduation huh..." Jane remained silent for awhile before finally just leaving the room. She entered the bathroom to take a bath. Looking into the mirror she saw a young woman staring back at her. How many years had passed for her: four? Five? Maybe even six? Her body had developed a little more, although she wasn't exactly a movie star which she would admit was a bit of a disappointment. She let out a sigh as she started the bath. She used to question it. Why does the water run, why do I always have food, why? Why? Why? At some point the questions stopped. Her world was the world for only her. No one else moved or talked. A world only for her...
  • Pulp Fiction: Africa, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Heads up! Coup in progress capitol city. Army divided. PM safe for now. Pro coup armor en route. Rolling right through your location in maybe 2 hours max. Evac everyone. Under fire here. Can't help. You're on your own. Make us proud! Good Luck! // "Crap!" // Confab with village elders. Some want to fight. Pointed sticks and a handful of AK-47 rifles is no match against rolling armor. Dust cloud on horizon. Tanks are coming. Everyone is moving within the hour. // We need a miracle from you. Delay armor! One hour. Coup on verge of collapse sans extra armor. Hold the line for one hour. // One hour? Is that all? I'm on it. I've got an idea.
  • Pulp Fiction: Boston Street Scene, by Chris Tucker (Part 1): "Daria, it's March, you live in Boston, WHERE did you get that tan? Hopefully NOT a machine, because they're really bad for your skin, you know. You DO use moisturizers, right?" Quinn did care about her older sister. After all, if Daria looked bad, THAT would reflect badly on Quinn! And what's with those clothes? Better than that same outfit she wore all the time in high school, but not by much. "Where's this restaurant we're going to? Is it French? I LOVE French cuisine! Daria! Are you LISTENING to me?"
  • NEW! Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): Finally free of gravel lining the road, DeMartino pelted his way across the lot to join them. Once they were about halfway down the row, he looked over his shoulder to see Sandi slowly marching toward them, tire iron in hand. He was just about to call off the knocking and recommend a full retreat when one of the doors between them and her opened and a young red-headed man stepped out, peering around curiously. "Upchuck!" Jane yelled. "Get your keister over here!" (continued here) (NEW! even more continued here)
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [I can't repeat it. It's too horrible.]
  • NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Outside the school, surrounding the perimeter, lay the combined forces of the Lawndale PD and the Maryland National Guard. The Superintendent stood, bellowing through a loudspeaker: "MS LI, YOU'RE NOT THE PRINCIPAL ANYMORE. THERE'S NO NEED FOR YOUR RETIREMENT TO GO THIS MESSILY." Daria Morgendorffer, clad in urban camo, sat at a table manning radio comms and a map of the school. "The east side is the weakest point: the fire exit for the gymnasium. Li's got everyone covering the obvious weak points and that means she can't have anyone there. Move fast enough, you can reach her office in five minutes."
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Malakite (COMPLETE!): The school intercom screeched to life. "Attention: We are under attack." Most of the students in the room had merely blank or bemused expressions on their faces, which turned to incredulity as Mr. O'Neill dropped the book he had been holding and folded into a simpering mass of tears on the floor. Three students, however, had reactions that stood out.
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): The school intercom screeched to life. "Attention: We are under attack." As she tried to comprehend the announcement, Daria turned to Jane and goggled as her friend reached into her backpack and pulled out a futuristic looking Buck Rogers-type weapon. She fired and turned Mr. O'Neill into a four course chicken dinner for a family of six. "ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!" Jane yelled, standing on top of her desk. "THIS PLANET IS NOW OFFICIALLY ABSORBED INTO THE GREAT AND ETERNAL ZIPPOTRONIAN EMPIRE!"
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): The school intercom screeched to life. "Attention: We are under attack." The usual simpering expression disappeared from Mr. O'Neill's face, leaving him looking like a completely different man. He put the papers he had been just about to hand out down on his desk, looked down sadly, and heaved a sigh. "Children," he said in a rich, baritone voice, "I am sorry it finally had to come to this. 'Lawndale is a shining point of light for the future'."
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): The school intercom screeched to life. "Attention: we are under attack." "Looks like Ms Li's overdosed on the Ultra Cola again," Daria said with a sigh. "Rally to me, o people of Mars!" Li crooned as the sound of the office door being opened came over the speakers. "The forces of Venus have breached my mighty citadel! Hey! Watch your hands, you Venusian thug!"
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "I hate this thing, it is so slow. I can't wait to get the smell of french fries off of me." "Yeah... after a long day at the office I just want to go home and crash." "What do you do for a living?" "Oh, I'm a sex slave for an Alien Love Goddess."
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): The school intercom screeched to life. "Attention: we are under attack. All alien fighters report for duty." Daria sighed and stood up. "Why do they always come right before lunch?" Jane smirk and replied, "They're just trying to save you from being poisoned by the cafeteria food. Besides, you can use the exercise." (Daria/Alien Nine)
  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: ATTACK WARNING RED), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Nice security outfit," the general said as he saw the monitors. "The very latest," Li confirmed. He nodded, then turned serious. "How is the subliminal training going?" "There are," she shrugged and frowned, "a few kinks." "Such as?" With a sigh, she picked up the intercom. "Attention!" she barked. "we are under attack." The results of her announcement were instantaneous. Li watched as Manson began to put her hands to her neck as she did a fish impression. Barch, however, had tackled one of the football players and was trying to eat his hair. DeMartino had simply exploded.
  • NEWER! Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): Standing next to the Pentagon, the small group looked nervous, but held hands as directed. Helen looked at Jake and smiled as she nodded. He took a deep breath then smiled back. “Come on, everyone,” Jake encouraged, “If we all focus our positive energy, we can make the Pentagon rise off the ground.” The group closed their eyes and appeared to concentrate, so none of them saw the way Jake gritted his teeth or the slight wisps of smoke that trailed from the corners of his eyes.

15 comments:

Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

Why are you trying to cover up the truth, TAG?! WHY CAN'T YOU HANDLE THE FLUFFY ADORABLENESS?!

The Angst Guy said...

And now, for something completely different: random MTV and etc. artwork to illustrate the fanfic list.

Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

I won't stand for such blatant puppy censoring! I'm calling the FCC! Or the FAA! Or the FEMA! Or the FICA! Whoever handles this sort of thing!

The Angst Guy said...

:p :p :p

The Angst Guy said...

Okay, that looks like enough random art.

The Angst Guy said...

Now it looks like enough.

The Angst Guy said...

NOW it looks like enough. Until later, of course.

Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

Needs moar puppies.

Anonymous said...

My GOD we write a lot of fic.

- Charles RB

The Angst Guy said...

Needs more boa constrictors.

Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

Boa constrictors are pretty cute.

The Angst Guy said...

When they have puppies inside them, yes.

Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

Brave little puppies in their adorable little puppy pressure suits, delving deep into the boa constrictor for SCIENCE!

Anonymous said...

And then the Cancer from Space comes down, and the memory of happiness and cuddles becomes the puppy's greatest source of pain.

- Charles RB

Roland 'Jim' Lowery said...

Capital C Cancer? Like the constellation? That would be the best puppy day ever! All the puppies do the crab dance! Paaaartay!