It all began with a little guy in a flower...

One hundred and two years ago today in Paris, Émile Cohl released the first-ever animated movie: Fantasmagorie. To this one, short, silent cartoon, Daria and all other animated shows and movies owe their very existence. Merci, Monsieur Cohl.

NouZ!

• McKeon offers a new Iron Chef: The General's Men. What if Ms. Li managed to invent a positive spin to getting paid by General Buck Conroy, by having a few extra hours class added to the schedule when put on the spot?
• Not to be outdone, MystikSpiral gives us Iron Chef: Gangster School. How will Daria fit into a gangster school? And what IS a gangster school?
• Roentgen has a strange challenge for us: Iron Cook: Post-Death Daria. "What if Daria were live-action? And what if the principal character died before shooting could start? How would her absence be explained?"
• Daria stickers, half price! (Thanks for the tip, Chris Tucker!)
  

FF.net

• If Nothing Else, by Harley McCoy (Part 3): The next morning paced itself like any other day for the Morgendorffers. "Honey, I expect you to help Daria regain her memory?" Helen sang, dashing about the kitchen in preparation for leaving for work. "Uh-huh." "Remember the doctor said that any little thing could trigger her memory to come back." Helen locked up her briefcase and grabbed a protein shake from the refrigerator, a common breakfast substitute. "Uh-huh." Quinn picked at another piece of her low-fat blueberry muffin, leafing through the newest Waif issue.

PPMB

• The Alter-Ego Chronicles 2: (Change The Story) Morning Glory, by TheExcellentS (Part 2): “With all due respect, Mr. Williams, why do you feel like our show needs to retooled? We have the highest ratings out any show in Lawndale.” “Any questions you ladies will have will be answered after this presentation.” “Lights please, someone!” “Great. This is going to be like Mr. O’Neill’s self-esteem class all over again.” “Yup. I can just tell he’s going to make references to realizing one’s actuality before poor Ted gets dragged aside for the nocturnal emissions talk.”

• As If by Magic, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): Despite her love of video games, the arcade was a place that Daria rarely visited. The thing was, Daria didn't want to go along, arcades cost money, and Jane wasn't exactly rich. Unlike Pizza, it was harder to “forget” whose turn it was to pay, so it was only rarely that the two of them visited the Arcade. They'd play some of the old classics, get in a few shots at the new releases if the lines weren't too long, and spend the rest of their time doing what they did best; commenting on the people around them. Since this was the only place where certain niche games could be found in America, there was always plenty to comment on. A fact that they also found worthy to comment on was that Tiffany Blum-Decker seemed to also be a frequent connoisseur of the arcade.
  
• The Camera III, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): Amy, wearing a gray sweater, sits before a TV, playing a video game with no small amount of skill. The camera's positioned so that the whole screen's being taped. The controller clicks in her hand. Mario bounces up the broken staircase leading to 8-3, and onto the flag pole. "As she prepares to set the modern land speed record for completing Super Mario Bros., Amelia Millicent Barksdale reflects on the long hours of meditation and reflection which made this tremendous accomplishment possible."

• Daria/Dorian 6: Christmas Chaos, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Deciding that a hasty retreat from the house was in order, Dorian headed to Casa Lane to listen to Mystik Spiral rehearse. Hearing the opening notes to "Ice Box Woman," Dorian headed to the basement. Trent sat his guitar down. "I take it you had to get away for a while," Trent chuckled. "Yeah..I had to leave before the debate about sugar plums started. What time does your show start tonight?" "Seven. We should be done by nine. Your mom said something about if I wasn't back at your house by eleven she was going to hang me using the wreath on the front door."
• Daria Morgendorffer vs. The World, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): The stupidity started that night at the Zon. Mystik Spiral was playing its umpteenth gig at the seedy bar with questionable ID checking policies. Daria and Jane were standing in the crowd, which was larger than normal, since summer had just started and most of the high school and college students wanted to start it right: with booze and bad music. "Is it just me or is there something weird in the air tonight?" Daria said, turning to Jane. "I think they may have actually decided to put some air freshener in the vents, but otherwise I'm not really seeing any—what the hell is that?" (FF.net) (Daria/Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)
  

• Dimwits & Dragons, by Ken T (Part 5): "Hold it right there!" the voice ordered. "I want to see your hands. All of you!" Daria heard Brittany squeak and submerge again as she lifted her hands and lost buoyancy. Opening her eyes, she could see the fuzzy figures of several armed men in bright armor through the strands of her sodden hair. She needed her glasses to make out any additional detail, but they were in the pouch tucked into her belt, and she figured making any movement for them would cause more trouble than it was worth. Off to her left, Jane giggled. "I was wrong. They CAN'T be used as flotation devices." (Daria/Dungeons & Dragons: The Animated Series)
  
• Favorite Dish, by Hazazel (COMPLETE!): Jodie stepped out of a cap in front of the Mackenzie residence. It was five to nine, she was almost late. They had agreed to meet at Mack’s home, as his folks were away this night. Mack had said he had a surprise for her. We really need all the quality time we can get, considering how little time we have for each other,” she thought, and instantly corrected “How little time I have for him, actually. Jodie sighed and knocked at the door. She waited for a moment, and since nothing happened, she knocked the door again. Nothing! Jodie tried the door, and noticed to her amazement that it was open. How strange, Mack doesn’t usually leave his door open. She opened the door and went inside.
  

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2 and 3): “Daria, hey, it’s Henry!” Henry’s overly cheerful voice came from the phone. “How... did you get my phone number here? I don’t think I gave it to you.” “I got you really drunk. And now I know your phone number, your house size, your height, your bust...” “I don’t drink.” “That artist friend of yours gave it to me when we met. Said I should feel free to torture you over the summer since I was the best thing to happen to you since college got started. Wow, I feel special, but not like...” “Henry, what do you want?” Daria interrupted. (Part 3)
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 28): "Please, don't be alarmed, Miss Daria!" Sherman said. "No-one's followed me. I suppose that others could find you; just not the same way I did." "And how did you?" Daria asked. "I figured that wherever you went, you'd find people, and they'd start to do something which would put major drainage on the power grid." "'Something?'" Daria echoed. "Like, what?" The man in the comfy chair chuckled. Daria noticed quite a change in Sherman's demeanor since the last time she'd seen him. He seemed two sizes larger. "You can't expect me to guess that! But, for sure, it would be something!" (Daria/World of Null-A)
  

• God Save the Esteem II, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “Now, Quinn... what do you see here?” “It's a picture of two people talking, like, duh,” sneered ‘Killer’ Quinn. “That’s supposed to be a test?! Bitch, please!” Manson drew in a deep breath. “Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?” “Let's see... they've been unfairly stepped on by The Man just because they’ve been late to school a few times and got caught smoking, so he’s saying ‘gahdammit I’ve had enough of fucking school!’ and she’s saying ‘fuck yeah, let’s blow it up!’ And then they sing Another Brick in the Wall while planting explosives.” Quinn smirked. (ending here)
  
• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (Part 9): The car had an atmosphere akin to the Secretariat during Stalin’s reign, and everyone was waiting to see who Helen was going to white out of the party history first. They’d been driving for three minutes when she snapped out: “Mother called. She’s blaming us for this debacle. All of us! Bad enough the mess at the reception but when you somehow convince Erin to call for a divorce the day after the wedding, well! Rita will never speak to me again!” “So I’ve done you a favor.” “NOT FUNNY, DARIA! I don’t want to hear any of your attempts at wit and your snide remarks, not after what you’ve done! I’m ashamed of you, I really am!” (FF.net)
  

• Is It College Yet? (Iron Cook: Post-Death Daria version), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Hello, Daria... yeah, I've still decided that I'm giving up on BFAC and applying to Lawndale State... yeah... yeah, I know that you haven't decided where you want to go, either... what? You have an idea of how I can broaden my portfolio? Let me hear it."
• NEW! Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 12): “Well, girls,” Jake began after Trent left. “It is still early. What would you like to do?” “Mess with drunks on Dega street,” proposed Jane. “Drag racing down by the quarry,” Daria suggested. “Go down to Seven Corners and watch cars crash,” Jane countered. “Satan worship at High Hills Park,” Daria shot back. “How about really cutting loose and getting some banana splits?” Jake asked. “Risky, Dad,” Daria replied. “If the press got wind of it, your political career could be over after only two months.”
  
• Jane Lane: Ace Attorney—Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (Parts 14 and 15): The judge stroke his gavel looking as solemn as ever. He smiled at Daria, who appeared to have been waiting for everyone else for a while, and then shook his head at Jane, who was just getting to court. “You are late, Ms. Lane,” said the judge, frowning. “What?! But it’s barely two thirty... one!” “Exactly, you’re late!” said the judge, “You will be penalized for this!” he exclaimed, striking with his gavel, forcing her imaginary life bar down to 20%. (Part 15) (Daria/Ace Attorney game)
  

• John Lane 47: Another Look in the Mirror, by RLobinske (Part 4): There was a loud knock at the door. Daria looked at it and said, "Someone too clueless to see the doorbell?" "Probably a delivery man," Helen said. "Can you get it, sweetie?" "My leg's not broken, so I guess I can." There was another loud knock before Daria reached the door. "Hold on," she said, opening it. "Uh, oh." Brian stood in the doorway. "Where's Erin?" He said. Daria could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Um, I don't think she wants to see you." "I didn't ask if she wanted to see me," Brian said and pushed his way past Daria. "I asked if she was here."
  
• Judge Daria, by Brian Taylor (Part 2): "Are these the frightening features of the germ-lab Arsene Lupin? The spook who stole the common cold, when Sick Sad World returns!" Jane Lane snorted at the gargoyle depicted on screen in the five seconds before the show went to commercial. One foot was propped against a chair while she laced up a well-worn running shoe. "Please," she said into the telephone tucked between her ear and her shoulder. "It had to be the Greys. Everybody knows they use deadly deadly viruses as currency on Altair IV." "As part of the 'Buy Now, Die Forever' payment plan, no doubt." Daria's voice came through from the other end of the line, flat but amused. Jane lowered her foot to the floor, wriggled her toes in the trainer. (Daria/Judge Dredd)
  

• Judith Strikes!/Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: The Legion Encounters, Part IV: Not So Different, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): The cadet smiled—a response that would have shocked most of the individuals who knew him, or scared them. “Are you afraid of me? Are you really so afraid of what I can do to you?” The young woman looked at him with total contempt, and turned away. “Be thankful that I don’t kill you where you stand. I know how to deal with telepaths.” “You see, that’s one big misunderstanding that everyone has about me,” David Allen said, straightening his tie. “One thing that ‘mundanes’ don’t really get is that not all of us are alike.”
• Judith Strikes!/Tales of the Ringbearers: The Last Stand of Odell Jones, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): A combined gasp of shock and anger rose up as the image of a woman, wearing what appeared to be a gladiatorial costume and possessing large batlike wings (one of which appeared to be completely sheared off, along with her left arm just below the shoulder; her left side appeared to be peppered with serious burns as her right wing flapped feebly in the vacuum of space) floated through the debris field of the ship, along with the few remains of several reanimates—a couple of which actually seemed to be alive and functional...
• NEW! Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (Parts 1 and 2): Lawndale has a roadside attraction. A Giant Strawberry. As weary as I was from the journey, the instant I saw the first "See The GIANT STRAWBERRY!" sign, I knew I had to stop. Yes. It IS a Giant Strawberry. It commemorates the fact that Lawndale was once the "strawberry growing capitol of Maryland." If one pays the dollar fee, one is then permitted the signal honor of climbing the 100 steps (each step having an important strawberry fact in mosaic upon it) to the "famous observation deck" at the summit of The Giant Strawberry. I decided that I would reserve that treat for later. I am not as young as I once was and must ration my excitement. (NEWER! Part 2) (Daria/Kolchak: The Night Stalker)
  
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 19): "Which path do you want to see revealed?" Jane points to the road in front of them. "This is the road you want me to take. I know about the wreck, but I still want to see what I am up against. Show me this one." Sticking out her hand, Jane gave the old man back his cane. Taking a few steps forward, he made his way to the crossroad of both paths. As he reached his hands towards the sky, he was surrounded by a bright red glow. Holding the cane with both hands, the old man chanted as he struck the road with the tip of the cane. Jane watched in awe as the scenery around them was completely transformed.
  

• The More Things Change, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): “So how’re things going with you two?” Daria smiled and adjusted the blanket draped over her shoulder. She looked tired, but contented; the lines around her eyes added character rather than age. “You know how it is. Early mornings, late nights– one of the perils of marrying a research scientist.” Jane chased the face of the two-year-old boy she was looking after with a baby wipe, meaning to clean pureed pears from around his mouth. Finally she succeeded by pulling a second wipe from the container and executed a pincer attack on the unsuspecting toddler. He pouted tolerantly, liberated the spoon Jane had abandoned and proceed to beat everything in sight. “What’s he working on that keeps him at the lab so long?”
  
• Paintslinger Girl, by Wraith (COMPLETE!): If she hadn't read the paperwork before hand, Claire never would have been able to guess that the girl in the bed in front of her in the ICU was ten years old. The soft beeps of the various monitoring equipment hooked up to the girl were the only signs she was alive and not the dessicated mummy she appeared to be. The girl's short black hair stood in vivid contrast to the pale skin that clearly showed the outline of every bone. Here and there, the sterile white of bandages contrasted with the pasty white of the skin. A soft voice intruded on her thoughts. "Ms. Defoe? I'm Dr. Gherardo Napolitano. I'm the one in charge of Jane's case." After shaking her hand, he added, "We should talk in my office. I don't want to risk disturbing her." (Daria/Gunslinger Girl)
• NEW! That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (continued): "I am the queenmost of the bee / The cutest of all clubs' V.P. / Cool and primped but not too showy." "And we are her Jamie, and her Jeffy and her Joey." "I thought you were Jerome." "And we are her Jamie and her Jeffy and Jerome." (Daria/H.M.S. Pinafore)
  

• The Truth Behind... The Devil and ?, by Ken T (COMPLETE!): [Another tale from the archives is revealed to the world!]
• The Truth Behind... La Femme in Hunting, by Ken T (COMPLETE!): [Another tale from the archives is revealed to the world!]
• The Truth Behind... The Visitor, by Ken T (COMPLETE!): [Another tale from the archives is revealed to the world!]
• The Truth Behind... Tre Chic Mistique, by Ken T (COMPLETE!): [Another tale from the archives is revealed to the world!]
• The Truth Behind... The Watchers, by Ken T (COMPLETE!): [Another tale from the archives is revealed to the world!]
• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): Daria and Jane were sitting on the middle of the park. Both looked comfortable enough staring at the clouds while they filled their bellies with a home-made pizza. “You know, Daria, I never expected your culinary skills to be this good,” Jane said as she tasted the last bit of the slice she had been eating. “Why do you never cook anyway?” “It’s boring,” her friend replied. Like it was simplicity itself. Jane rubbed her chin as she silently stole another slice, “you think everything is boring.” “Because everything is boring,” Daria said. “Well, isn’t that a beautiful stance in life?” (Daria/Street Fighter videogame)
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Modern Day Daria), by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): Daria smiled to herself as she received a notification at her e-mail box that another gullible idiot at Lawndale High had fallen victim to her scheme. "Ah, Kevin Thompson, we meet again," she said in her usual monotone. Jane raised an eyebrow, "What are you doing now?" she asked, not bothering to look up from Wacom tablet-screen. "And what's got our local QB have anything to do with that?" Daria blinked. "Did I say that aloud?" she asked, putting her iPad down. "Nothing important, really." Jane put her stylus down and frowned at her friend. "What'cha scheming?"
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Objectivization of Women), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "I'd like to know what 'actualizing your potential' means." "It's meaningless babble by the oppressives, trying to force you into conventionalism," muttered the girl behind her. "Now I want to know what that means." "He is attempting to force us into society's boxes and to ignore our own interests, to make us one of the boring, lower people." There was a manic light in her eyes, like when Quinn had found out about a half-price sale with only an hour left. "Well, I'm going to follow my interests in this class. I'm going to sleep." She did. (Daria/Ayn Rand)

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Objectivization of Women), by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): "Hold on a second, Jane." Jane and her new friend Daria were walking home after meeting at the after-school self esteem class run by Mr. O'Neill. They had just been discussing nocturnal emissions when Daria had spotted a toddler with a lollipop almost larger than her head, cheerfully standing on the sidewalk and taking the occasional lick. Curiosity shifted into disbelief, then horror as Daria grabbed the confection out of the tot's hand and (after taking a lick for herself) shoving her to the ground. (Daria/Objectivism)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Twins), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The car opened and a short, plain looking girl stepped out. She was dressed in the latest style, her hair was well-styled, her whole look screamed "innocent and cute" - but this was still a plain girl, dressing above her station. No threat. "You look cool! What's your name?" asked Stacy, gravitating towards the new arrival like she always did. "Quinn," said the fish, and her voice was weird - flat, even though she was being perky. A non-entity. "Good choice of clothing," said Sandi, "it obscures any flaws you have. Come along, Stacy..." "Dar-eeeeee-ah!" yelled Quinn at the car, "come on already!" Unnoticed by Sandi, one of the Three J's had gravitated towards Quinn.
• NEW! Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Ouch Time), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Jane wandered toward her friend's room with a frown, confused and a little worried that the girl had asked her to rush over at nearly ten in the evening. More disturbing still was the fact that the house was empty, the front door standing slightly ajar at this time of night. Jane reached out one hand. Her middle finger touched Daria's bedroom door, which swung inward with a forlorn creak. The light was out, the only illumination from the computer screen. The room stood empty. Dread flooded Jane's body and weighed down her limbs as she moved to look at the screen. A word processing document had been left open, a single line stretched across the center of the page.
  

• Victory... Damn It! by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Come on, Daria, it's just one after-school club." "And history class is now supposed to be 'pro-war'." "Mr. DeMartino is bound to have a heart attack in his attempts to spin World War Two as a good thing. They've started a pool. I'm in for the fifth of next month." "Put me for the fourth," Daria said as she handed Jane some money. "And I'm watching you, Sticky Fingers."
• The Virtue of Cynicism, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Daria and Jane walked were walking back home from school. It was a cold, humorless Fall day with not as much as a cloud to add character to a lifeless gray and unforgiving sky. "So anyway, Daria, how come you didn't say something when Brittany was eating that sausage during lunch and Kevin said, 'Are you going to eat that?' That's the time when I know you're going to say something funny." "Kevin's stupidity is a burden enough. No sense in me adding to it. It would have gone right over his hamster-sized brain." "Wow," said Jane, "you're being uncharacteristically charitable." "You can blame that on my reading of Atlas Shrugged," Daria said.
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): It had been a pleasant evening at her parent's old house and Daria had a chance to meet the new neighbors next door on their patio. They were an older couple, Joe and Clara Bacher. He was a retired civil servant and she was active in numerous local knitting and quilting groups. They seemed pleasant enough and it was a nice contrast to listening to Dad's tirade about his college alumni association hitting him up for a donation and Mom arguing on the phone about a court date.

• A Work in Progress, Subject to Revision: Jane, I have a cunning plan..., by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "My lord, Daria, you are positively chipper this morning. Right! Who are you and what have you done with the Morgendorffer girl!" "Last day of high school, remember?" "Oh, yeah. YIPPEE! WAHOO! Hold my stuff while I cartwheel with gay abandon." "Your glum tone of voice belies the exuberance of your words. Something bothering you?" Daria put a hand on her friend's arm and stopped walking. Being late for the last day of high school was not something she was particularly concerned about. "Come on, spill it, Lane!"