Write Where It Perverts

"Write Where It Hurts" closed out the second season of Daria 12 years ago today, with various crossovers (The Graduate, at left) and curiosities (at right) in Daria's writing. Daria got to make her mother cry (in a good way) and all was right with the world. Daria was still triumphant.

The contents of this episode have been the subject of many a fanfic. That card game played in the fictional future was in some form featured here and here and here and here and (dang, cannot find that one other story, sorry).

N000Z!

• OverlordMikey drew fan art for "The Lane That Wasn't": The Lane That Wasn't—Symbolism. Excellent.
• Not to be outdone, Minx drew strip poker fan art and entered legend.

PPMB

• NEW! 50 Minutes a Week, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Daria, hello! Come in, have a seat. You're putting on some weight. Very good." "Yeah, another two pounds or so. The old metabolism is really working out on all that frozen lasagna." Her tone of voice and look of mild revulsion gave the lie to her faintly enthusiastic words. "There are times I miss my feeding tube." "Yes. Yes, I can imagine. So, given any more thought to what we talked about last week?"
• NEWER! At the Fics with Jane and Daria, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Hello, and welcome to another edition of 'At The Fics with Jane and Daria'. We're your hosts, Jane Lane and Daria Morgendorffer." "Why is it always 'Jane and Daria'? It was MY show, I was the star, it was named after me!" "It's because 'Jane and Daria' just sounds better than 'Daria and Jane'. It's the whole 'a after a' thing. DariA And Jane. It doesn't flow." "Says who?" "Shhhh. Here's 10 bucks. Drop it, OK?"
  
• The Ballad of Daria and Stacy, by Charles RB et al. (continued): Stacy had a plan. It was foolproof. It would work. She was just going to not go to the self esteem class and pretend to Sandi that she no longer had to. It would work. It would work. She was going to do it RIGHT NOW.
• Helen Wheels, by Smileyfax (Part 1): "It all boils down to trust," Daria summed up. "Exactly. It all boils down to trust. Show a little trust." "Mom... Dad... you're right." One heartbeat... two heartbeats... "Can I borrow either car?" "No," Jake uttered instantly, bent over his lasagna. Helen, however, paused for a moment. "Sure, Daria," she said, reaching into her pocket. "Here you go!" She placed the keys to her SUV next to Daria's plate. "Eep!" The sound escaped from Daria's larynx unbidden. "Uh... I mean... thanks, Mom, but I meant... uh... after dinner." (FF.net)
• Jane Lane: Ace Attorney, by LSauchelli (Part 4): They watched as Daria and Gumshoe entered the school through the front door. What was the prosecutor doing there anyway? Didn’t she have the case entirely solved in the first trial? Jane didn’t want to meet her during the investigation, it felt like a very bad idea. She turned her attention back to Upchuck, who was now approaching Daria’s car with a predatory look on his face. “Hey, wait!” Jane shouted. “Don’t touch it!”
• Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Interlude 1): While she hadn't believed in Helen and Jake's decision to send Daria to Virginia, Evelyn Barksdale would have been a fool to pass up the golden opportunity that was her granddaughter's proximity to where she lived. And while she was many things, Evelyn Barksdale was not a fool. Within a month of Daria's arrival to Buxton Ridge, she'd driven down to let her know that she was welcome in her home at anytime. The loneliness and desolation on the poor girl's face had done much to convince her she had made the right decision. That was the day she had decided that her family's wealth and the expectations that came with it would fall on Daria's shoulders.
• Pulp Fiction: Africa, by Chris Tucker (continued): She had walked for two days to get here. Two days and two nights. No water for most of today. Two days and two nights alone in semi desert. Walking towards some small chance of hope for her beloved older sister...
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): It was a trick, it had to be. Unpopular kids like that weird art chick were always trying to get attention somehow. And Stacy had probably joined her just because she was miffed about being subtly pushed out of the Fashion Club. Mr. DeMartino was a little harder to figure out, but teachers were always going on about helping people and broadening horizons and not putting others down and other such nonsense, so his involvement could have been part of some kind of outreach program for unpopular students. They just wanted to make the popular kids look like gullible idiots or something, Sandi was sure of it. Quinn and the others might have been fooled, but Sandi wasn't. She was inside her room, safe, where nothing and no one could get at her, not even her traitorous former friends.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Military School), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "So this is hell," she thought to herself. Buxton Ridge Military Academy had welcomed a legacy into its incoming corps of cadets. That day had been hectic, irritating and stupid. GO here, get this, take it back and get it stamped, you stupid good for nothing PLEBE! The only good thing is that she was out of Highland. Sixteen years in that pest hole had been enough. Finally, her room assignment came through. She grabbed her things from holding and trudged across the campus to the woman's dorm. "Let me PLEASE get a decent bunk mate, someone smart, someone clever, someone with a brain! (Daria/The Phil Silvers Show)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Breitasparrow (Part 2): The doorbell rang three times before Trent finally stumbled to open the door. "Hey," he said. "Are you alright?" Tom asked. "You seem kinda, I dunno, drunk." "The band had another fight. We're not really getting anywhere. I think we might be on the verge of breaking up... Uh, come on in."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Mack sees Jane talking to Daria in the hallway. As they are about to turn into Mr. DeMartino's class, Mack approaches them. "Hey, Jane. I have something to tell you." Jane looks at him. She could tell something was weighing heavy on his mind. "What's wrong, Mack?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Jane Lane, clad in black PVC tank top, leggings and handheld BFG appeared behind the unsuspecting Dalek. "Esteem THIS!" "Whoa!" exclaimed Kevin as the smoldering wreck of the Dalek collapsed to the floor. As he rose from his seat, he stepped on the hem of his ankle-length black trench coat and slammed headfirst into the wall, falling unconscious to the floor, in much the same manner as the late Dalek. All that Daria could do was perform the classic Picardian Facepalm maneuver.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "The school psychologist tells me that all of you have self-esteem problems," the man in the multi-colored coat said. "Well tish-tosh! Low self-esteem merely means you haven't yet figured out just how incredibly brilliant you are and how gobsmacking idiotic everyone else in the universe is!" "Y'know, I kinda liked the celery guy we had last week better," Jane groused.
• Unnamed story (Judith Strikes! Closing Ceremony), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): The home, for a home it was, despite being hewn out of the living rock, was a warm and comfortable place. A cheery fire burned in the grate, giving both light and heat to the small, cluttered living room. Jack sat in his armchair with his feet propped up and his heavy iron boots resting nearby, engaged in working a Rubik's Cube. His daughter sat on on the floor nearby, singing quietly as she knitted the song into a new hat for herself. The girl's singing faltered, and her needles slowed to a stop as she glanced around apprehensively. "What... what was that, father?" The redcap grimaced and slowly rose to his feet. "Bad, that's what it is. Go get my sword." (Daria/Batman)
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Daria stood in her stiff, pseudo-military uniform, hands clasped behind her back, and watched through the huge observation port of the Highliner as the comparatively tiny transport vessels containing everything and everyone she had ever known were carefully shepherded aboard. She frowned to herself as she contemplated the political, and possibly military, repercussions of her family's move. But, her father had his orders from the Emperor and one didn't argue with His Imperial Majesty... at least, not for long. (Daria/Dune)
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): Once again, Daria found herself waiting at the unlit transit stop for the Estragon Avenue bus. A slowly spreading dark grey murk suffused the area, erasing all the details save the engine noises of passing cars with weak fog lights and frightened drivers. Otherwise, all was silent. Her fatigue induced reverie was shattered by the distant sound of a familiar arrogant voice projected from a very great distance, amplified by the peculiar acoustic properties of an intervening brick fence...
• The Worst Thing, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “Well, I suppose things could be worse.” When Angier Sloan said those words seven long months ago, only the three pairs of female eyes glaring at him with enough force to crack cement stopped Tom from scoffing. Tautological Meaningless Dross, he had called it in his head. Technically things could always be worse, that goes without saying. We could all be infected with a flesh-eating virus that attacks the genitals first. The government didn't decide to test a new secret weapon on Lawndale so, hey, that's a plus, too. Why, we should count ourselves lucky we’re not stranded in outer space! Or smashed to pieces in an car accident!