This Spud's for You

Sorry about reusing the Beavis and Butt-head "Mister Potato Head" image so soon, but I stand here before you to tell you, in complete seriousness, that today is National Potato Day. You are required by law, regardless of the country you live in or wished you lived in, to eat something that has to do in some way with potatoes: mashed potatoes, French fries, cheese fries, potato chips with or without ruffly ridges, whatever. I know you will your best.

Today is many other things as well: National Aviation Day, Gene Roddenberry's birthday (from whom we get Trekkies), Ogden Nash's birthday (from whom we get snarky poetry), World Humanitarian Day, and two years from now, Daria faces death on an alien planet. Yay! So much goodness, don't know where to begin.

Soooooooooooo... we'll start with fanfic.

PPMB

• The Cornfield, by Smileyfax (Part 2): "How was your first day at school, Daria?" "I almost killed the school counselor," she answered matter-of-factly, watching Quinn as she listlessly pushed her food around her plate. Jake forced a laugh. "Ha HAAA! What a sense of humor! What about you, Quinn? How was your first day?" Quinn met her father's eyes for a half-second, then resumed rearranging her food. Jake carried on like Quinn had replied to him. "That's great, honey!"
• Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (Part 1): "Hey, Dorian and Jane... doesn't Kevin look like a rebel in his new jacket? The one he got for Christmas wouldn't fit over his shoulder pads so we had to exchange it." "Where's the bike?" Jane asked. A confused look came over Kevin's face. "Huh?" "That's a motorcycle jacket," Dorian replied. "It's made out of leather to protect you from scrapes when your head's bouncing off the grill of a truck." Jane immediately added, "If you're just wearing it for style, then it's a waste of a perfectly good cow."

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Lindy laughed. “Are you free this weekend?” “I am,” Finn replied. “What’s up?” “A party. The 80's. Can you fashion disaster it?” Finn laughed. Theme parties were kinda fun if done right. And the 80's had music as great as the fashion was ugly. That would be a fun night.
  
• First Loss, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Jackie watched the blonde storm off with a small smile. It had been cruel of her, true, but if anything was true about Jackie it was that she always spoke the truth. Kevin beamed his dopey grin and Jackie blew him a kiss for good measure. He hadn't remembered her at first, but it was hard to hold it against him. Soon the assembly was over and as the students began filing out, Jackie tossed her feathered hair and caught one of the military-looking guys' eye. A wink and a smile and the deal was done.
• NEWER! God Save the Esteem 2: Fight for Your Invite to Party, by Charles RB (Parts 1 and 2): Quinn was going through her leather gear and trying to find the skimpiest ones she could. “Hmmm... one inch after bra or half inch? One inch or half inch, one inch or half inch...” “Is this a bad time to mention there’s a cold front coming in?” Daria stood in the doorway, the cloud behind the silver lining. “Go away, I’m concentrating. There’s some big party in Crewe Neck on Saturday and we’re gonna be crashing it.” “Countdown: T minus 72 hours. Might this be Brittany’s party?” “Yes, and might you... how do you know about a party?” “I’m invited. Not sure if I’ll go yet.” “You’re invi... MUM! DAD! DARIA’S SELLING OUT!” (NEWER! Part 2)
  

• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The nearer she got to Tuesday night, the worse Daria felt. Her stomach was full of acid and she was sweating, and she’d have to go through the notes every so often to avoid outbursts. She’d managed to blank out for the entirety of Maths but, luckily, Mr Ewing was used to people doing that and hadn’t picked up on it. The one bright spot: Jane muttering “everything’s set up, and I’ve ensured Trent will be awake. Well, I will ensure. I have heavy boots.” T minus six hours and counting.

• NEW! Import/Export, by Brian Taylor (Part 1): "Hey, kid," said a voice that shouldn't have been talking, two hours after it shouldn't have been saying anything. Daria Morgendorffer had heard a lot of voices since she'd been thrown into Cook Country for using grabby fingers to fill a hungry belly. Such were the ways of the world.; such was the spirit of the times. None of those voices ever said anything worth hearing. Usually, they just wanted something. Usually that something wasn't something any sensible somebody in a skirt wanted to hear.
  

• In Any Other World, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “Girls, I realize it’s not easy moving to a whole new town... especially not for you, Daria.” She didn’t respond. She’d been staring sullenly out the window for the whole journey. “I know it was hard losing your room and Mr Van Driessen and everything, but—” “Can you drop me off here?” interrupted Quinn. “I want to make a good impression on the first day, that really helps with your rep—I mean, blow it and everyone’s gonna remember you for that, it’s like that big bird thing 'round your neck, and it’ll just look better if I arrive at school on my own and not with—” She paused just for a second. “—my dad. It’s kinda lame.”
  

• Jane Lane Tries to Do Some Begging, or, Writer's Block Comix 2, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 2): At this dramatic juncture in the narrative, there came a brisk, masculine knock at the front door. Such knocks were not always good news at stately Lane manor, especially when the parents were away. Sometimes there were truant officers behind them; since it was still summer, that seemed unlikely. But, sometimes there were process servers upon the moors; was that a possibility? Jane didn't know of any bills in the red zone, but it was so easy to miss something!
• NEWER! Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (Parts 3 and 4 and 5): "Ladies, I'm almost finished, please, sit and I'll be out of your hair in a minute." "Thanks, that's very kind of you." Her voice seemed to be sincere, but there was something maybe a little sarcastic... I don't know. She took the bench opposite me and her friend, a taller girl with stunning blue eyes and three rings in her ear joined her. The first girl spoke again, something about me being new here. "In town or in here? Yes, to both." I introduced myself, and the two girls were suitably unimpressed. Can't say as I blame them. (Part 4) (NEW! Part 5) (Daria/Kolchak: The Night Stalker)
• NEW! The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 20): Jane knew the moment of decision was fast approaching. Reaching down once again, a smile came over her face. Feeling the warmth, Jane thought about her life as she knew it. There were very few occasions when she felt the sense of familial love. Everyone of them involved Trent. This new life was surrounded by it. If this road is encircled by it, then Trent's road should be, too. More importantly, if she chose this other path..she wouldn't lose Trent. The one person who mattered most to her in this life was still going to be her older brother.
  

• Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Interlude 5): Sandi sits up straight in her chair, furious at the other girl's audacity. "Where do you get off talking to me like that in my own house while you call my mother by her first name and tell me about how I talk to my friends? Who do you think you are?" The brunette sits on the grass and stretches her legs out. "We're not in your house are we? This is your mother's house and she encouraged me to call her Linda when I met her earlier this week. I just think its hilarious the way you talked to that little pig-tailed girl, because you need all the friends you can get right now and you don't appear to have any.
• Moving Pictures IV (formerly The Camera IV), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "And here I always thought the only reason you'd ever show school spirit is if..." One of the floodlights sputters out. The auditorium lights come up. A tall, scrawny kid with glasses ducks on stage from behind the curtain. Kelly emits a sudden, loud laugh. "Now I get it!" "Get what? You can't get anything," says Amy a touch too quickly. "There's nothing to get." "You're not doing this for money. You're doing this because Joey Caswell's working tech and you just want an excuse to skulk in the shadows and stare at him." There's a pause. "Shut up," Amy hisses through what sound like clenched teeth.
• Unnamed story (Commune-ists), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "OF COURSE we ran away! They were going to make us eat GOAT CHEESE! HOMEMADE GOAT CHEESE!"
  

• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "And so," Daria Morgendorffer said, hands clasped behind her back as she paced in front of the suspects in the Great Lawndale High Bake Sale Caper. "The crumpled pay stub found in the basket where the cheerleading squad had their chocolate-covered bundt cake, along with the bottle of eye drops found under the Fashion Club's table when their Eyeshadow Cookies were stolen started pointing to a member of the Lawndale High faculty..." "Ms. Morgendorffer," Ms. Li said. "You can't seriously be accusing a teacher at Laaaaaawndale High to be a low-down pastry-pilfering thief!" (Daria/Captain Caveman)

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Gangster School?), by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): "Alright, youse mugs, simmer down!" he called out. "My name's 'Tommy' O'Neill. You know why the call me Tommy?" He opened the violin case, seized out the Thompson submachine gun inside, and emptied a clip into the ceiling. Bits of plaster rained down upon the students, all of whom seemingly unaffected by the insane act. Daria herself flinched and slumped down lower in the seat. "I wanna talk to youse all about realizing your actuality, and you all better stand up afterward and proudly proclaim 'I am', capische?"
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Gangster School?), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): [Won't spoil it for you!]
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Search of "Donor"), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): "Wow, you actually had an affair with that?" Jack asked his friend while watching the auburn-haired woman in the pantsuit rail at her family from by the door to the restaurant where they were supposed to meet. "You must have been a lot braver when you were younger, Danny boy. Not hard to guess which one's yours."
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Misery Chip), by smk (COMPLETE!): "Are you sure you want to try the scenario again? After what happened last time?" "Well it's completely ridiculous! Women of the day were expected to have careers and fulfill traditional female roles in the home, it's no wonder the pressure got to them. Although that woman you had me play was simply absurd! Constantly railing at everyone because a relationship ended? And besides, what do you think holodeck safety features are for?" "Very well. We'll be starting in a couple hours. But this time, please remember that it's a science class, not a combat scenario." (Daria/Star Trek: The Next Generation)
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'No, Jane, this one I'll have to do alone. I can't risk anyone else being trapped in his web and eaten." "Why not, Daria? What about the limitless hordes of fanatical simuloid followers you picked up in that mystic's dream, what's his name, Doobie Baba?" "Ashlune Bubanabaar. I checked. They're busy." "That, or scared shitless." "Can you blame them?"