The Daredevil, the Playwright, and the Animator

We've got a trio of birthdays today! First we have Mack doing his Evel Knievel impression in honor of the anniversary of the daredevil's birth in 1938. Mack, it appears, has a lot more skill with motorcycles than Kevin could ever hope to have.

Next up is Arthur Miller, born in this day in 1915. His play "Death of a Salesman" was featured twice on the show--first in "Quinn the Brain," in which Daria writes an essay about the play entitled "He Had it Coming." Then, in "A Tree Grows in Lawndale," she quotes it in response to Helen's remark to Rita that she's rehearsing for a play. "A salesman's got to dream, boy."

Last, but certainly not least, happy birthday to Mike Judge, born 51 years ago today. Judge, who created the show Beavis and Butt-head, is at least partly responsible for the creation of Daria as well. So whatever your opinion of the original, you've got to give credit to the man for the spin-off we all love. In fact, you might even say "attention must finally be paid to such a person."

Fanfic Update!

• Beautiful Freak and Goodbye Highland (LongSnakeMoan's Fluff Thread), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Sandi knew that she and Beavis attracted a lot of attention, and not the good sort of attention either. She could see the looks on people's faces and hear the snide remarks as they passed by, though luckily they sailed right over his head otherwise he could snap."


• Bloody Stacy (It is October, after all), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Come ON San-deeeee!' Quinn pleaded, pointing to a page in Waif Magazine. 'We HAVE to try it!'"


• The Convert (IC: Daria characters joining religions and others react), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Yeah,' Mack drawled, 'I felt like I was losing my mind, but then my roommate gave me something that really helped.'"


• Daria and the Doo Dads (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I'm here,' Daria said, her voice drifted from upstairs. 'Be quiet though, I have something special to show you.'"


• Daughters of The Crimson Queen, by macross (part 3): "'Here at Lawndale High we strive for excellence through discipline and encouraging every student's unique talents,' said the woman with a commanding voice, as she surveyed the new arrivals, taking an extra probing look at Daria and Quinn."


• The Difference a Year Makes, by Shiva (part 2): "Jane had just enough time to do a double take before a familiar figure approached them, he leaned on a nearby locker nonchalantly and said, 'Hey, what's going on?'"


• Father and Son (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "He was dumb. He knew that quite well, but that was okay. Because no matter how dumb he was, he had other qualities, qualities which were more important than that."


• Great Professor Dario Ch. 1 A fresh start, by ST91 (part 5): "Helen had a strange feeling about her daughter's behaviour, however she decided to believe that, as Dario said, Quinn had matured a lot in a very short period of time and she still had to get used to it."


• Jane, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 and 2): "She turned and started walking up the steps. Hopefully, this time around it's going to better, she thought. No catastrophes or major disasters, a normal year, she hoped. It'd been her desire for the past three months to start anew, leave her disastrous freshman year behind." (Part 2)


• A New Direction, by peetz5050 (part 13b): "She finally got close enough to see what was going on. Her jaw dropped but she still had the presence of mind to whip out her phone and start recording video. 'Sandi will have to see this!'"


• Quinn the Psychopath, by SacredDust (part 12): "She spun around to see four figures standing ominously between her and the door. Her sister, her sister's best friend, her own best friend, and that guy who told her she was psychopathic--all standing in the same place, at the same time. What was going on?"


• Shot From a Canon (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Hi, Todd.' She was always sitting on the front steps of the apartment when he walked to the gas station. That creepy little girl. Not that he'd ever admit to being scared."


• This Is For Lovers (LongSnakeMoan's Fluff Thread: OTP Fluff), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "There were a lot of reasons why Todd Ianuzzi loved Jane Lane."


• Unintended Providence (Iron Chef: only one parent comes to Lawndale), by deneich (part 3): "Daria noticed that Helen's smile became predatory at the mention of the word 'Tutor'. The smile left an unsettling feeling in Daria's stomach that grew quickly to one of pure horror as she grasped the implication of Helen's idea. 'No! Absolutely not!' Daria barked."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria stepped from the bathroom into her own room, her face white."

She Used to Have a Dog Instead, but She Accidentally Ran Him Over

Because today is White Cane Safety Day, Daria is taking an even safer route by hiring a seeing-eye Jane to guide her home.

Today also happens to be the anniversary of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche's birth in 1844. We have Nietzsche to thank for Daria's line in "The Invitation": "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." I'm not sure he was thinking about wet lunch trays when he said it, though.

Fandom News!

• If you keep getting 403 errors when you try to post at PPMB or SFMB, find out why it happens and how to get around it.


• welltemperedclavier has started two interesting discussions in Deep Thoughts: What You Like vs. What Is Good and Why Fanfic is Disdained.


• dulcinea is looking for fanfics in which Sandi is portrayed in a sympathetic light.


• Beavis and Butt-head could be making a comeback--see the details in the thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Shiva's Daria characters joining religions and others react and Wassersauefer's Super-Powers which don't quite fit...

Happy Birthday, PPMB!

The PPMB is celebrating its 14th birthday...ish! It was at least on this day, if not before, that the first incarnation of the Paperpusher's Message Board was founded. Either way, it's been a very eventful fourteen years (or more).

Fanfic Update!

• Amy Barksdale, Attorney at Law (IC: Amy the Lawyer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "After hanging up the phone, Amy let out the sigh of exhaustion and rested her elbows on her desk and put her head in her hands for a minute. 'Well at least this will add to the billable hours.' she muttered, looking at the silver lining to the latest screw-up from her latest 'celebrity' client."


• Daria's Gate (Iron Chef: Daria converts and others revolt), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been so nice to see Daria, fresh from her first year at Raft University. Or at least it had been nice for the rest of the Morgendorffer clan, until they first heard their little girl refer to their first family meal together as 'an experiment'."


• Loss of Heart, by RLobinske (part 2): "Daria gently smiled. 'Take some time and think about what you want. If that is becoming a doctor, I'll help.'"


• Pimp vs. Wimp (Iron Chef: Daria finds out the FC is an escort service), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Clenching her keys in her fist as a rudimentary weapon, she whirled around...and saw it was Helen's loser husband, Jake. She had a vague recollection that he worked somewhere here downtown; as it was, he was making a beeline for her."


• Renovating, by tafka (COMPLETE!): "Helen sighed as she stood at the doorway of Daria's bedroom. Quinn squeezed her hand. 'It's okay to want to redesign this room. It's your house, after all.'"

Alien Love Goddesses Get a Discount

Artie is serving up a delicious pie in observance of National Sausage Pizza Day, so grab a slice and dig in. But whatever you do, don't mention aliens. You'll be there all night listening to outer space conspiracy theories if you do.

And speaking of outer space, today is also the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 7 launch. It was the first in the program to launch humans into space, but I can't find any mention of whether or not they brought pizza with them. Perhaps that mission is yet to be planned.

Fandom News!

• The @PaperpusherMB Twitter Account recently had some spammer-related issues, but should now be resolved.


• SacredDust discusses his experiences in Deep Thoughts: A lifetime of escape.


• What do you think of the actor Marc Alaimo as DeMartino? Join in the discussion with your own opinion.


• Kara Wild shares a recent blog post: Did the Writers Send the Wrong Message? Give your thoughts in the thread!


• What do you want for Christmas? Share your Christmas wish list in a new thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: LSauchelli's My Dad, the director 2 and Charles RB's Epic Rap Battles Of Lawndale.

Make Sure You Wake Him Up If There's a Fire

Fireman Trent would like to remind everyone that today is Fire Prevention Day, so be sure you obey that Lane family rule about not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces. Jake would also like to offer a stern warning about the dangers of having paper towels near an open flame.

Fanfic Update!

• Dylan, by J-D (part 30b): "As soon as they were out of sight, Rod came back down the ladder. 'Mission accomplished', he said. 'Five hundred large crickets released. Now we need to get out of here to establish an alibi.'"


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (part 22): "'So are you sure you want to head into the lion's den?' Ashley asked, 'Sounds a bit risky.' 'I've got to do what I've got to do,' Tom replied, 'I have a plan in place, I just hope it works.'"


• Loss of Heart, by RLobinske (part 1): "The young doctor looked through the window of the waiting room door and watched the patient's family. Wife and two teenage daughters. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and opened the door. This is the part that never gets better."


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 23): "After practice let out, Daria and Jane only had to sit tight in the parking lot for a few more minutes before Mack came bounding out of the school, changed back into his regular clothes, and his hair still wet from the showers."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 12: Hometown Hero, by Hyrin (part 3): "The sound of Sherman's hand impacting on Daria's face echoed through the hallways, and every head snapped around to the source. Daria's response was swift and violent."


• More Than One, by KnightScarb (part 2): "'What do you want?' Li had started looking nervous. 'What I wanted was to get Evie enrolled then do some school shopping.' Helen said then she grinned evilly. 'Now I want your head on a platter. Have good day.'"


• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 27): "Suddenly, a loud woman's voice was in her ear. 'Having a good time?' At least Daria thought that was what she heard, thought the obvious slur and the pounding music made it hard to tell. She tried to ignore the voice, but a blond-haired moon face filled her view."


• Put a Sock in It (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Sandi was now in Quinn's room alone. She grabbed some socks from her overnight kit, and headed to the bathroom."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria converts and others revolt), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'No, mom. I don't drink at all. It's...' Her voice dropped to a mumble. 'What was that, dear?' 'It's...' Daria took a deep breath and steeled herself. 'It's against my religion.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria finds out the FC is an escort service), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Sandi made an exaggerated groan, like the ennui of a humpback whale, and threw herself back into the seat. 'This is so stupid, Dareea. Just because you have hangups--'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria finds out the FC is an escort service), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Quinn, you know what I found on the internet today? It was something really stupid.' Daria held up a printed copy of Quinn's Fashion Escort page."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You know what Tommy Sherman's going to do now? Tommy Sherman's going to kick your ass! Come on, you little "misery chick", let's go! All fifteen rounds - right here, right now!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Serrallonga (COMPLETE!): "She interrupted her thoughts when she heard a loud scream coming from her parents' house. Daria recognised that voice immediately as her mother's. Trying to control her fear, she dialed 911. Seven minutes later, she saw the lights of a police car."

Did a Bit of Housekeeping....

Just wanted to let everyone know that I just finished going through the sidebar, updating or removing broken links, changing the "active" labels where appropriate, adding a few new links, etc. If there's anything that still seems to be wrong (not working, mislabeled, whatever) please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as I can.

Also, if there's anything you think should have a place in any section of the sidebar, I'd love to know!

"I could write songs for cats. I could write songs for dogs!"

O'Neill is doing a double act in honor of the musical Cats, which debuted on Broadway on this day in 1982. Given O'Neill's apparent love of dressing up like various felines, I have to wonder if the guy is secretly a furry. Just putting that out there.

Fandom News!

• ognawk invites you to share your confessions in a new thread.


• Reese Kaine has a comic-related rant. Give your opinion of DC Comics, too!


• Discuss pre-code cinema, or movies made before the restrictions of the 1930s.


• What are your favorite music albums? Tell everyone about them in the thread.


• SacredDust counts down the worst WWE storylines of all time.


• Three Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: LSauchelli's Daria finds out the FC is an escort service, Hyrin's Daria converts and others revolt, and DIsaac's Jane Lane, College Professor.


• Robyn has a request for mix and match artwork.


• Talk about the art of Katie Cook in the Golden Oldies forum.

But the Work is its Own Reward

Mr. DeMartino is just thrilled to pieces that today is World Teachers' Day, which completely makes up for the meagre pay and constant thankless struggle he endures every single day!

Er...could someone go collect his eye? I think it rolled under that cabinet over there.

Also, happy birthday to the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board, which hits its tenth anniversary today. Thanks for everything, Thea!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria as the Doctor, by ashk09 (part 3): "A plan formed in the Doctor's mind; it was risky, as it relied on the Daleks' lack of knowledge about the true capabilities of the TARDIS. 'I can get us through the barrier, but I'm going to need Jane's help to do it.'"


• The Difference a Year Makes (IC: Early Meeting), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'You know that just a year ago if anyone had told me that I'd be where I am right now, I'd have just looked at them funny before walking away without saying a word.'"


• Doctor Ewwww: Life In Plastic, by ognawk (part 2): "'Let me get this straight, you could go to any mall, in any part of the universe, at any time, and you choose to go to Cashmans in Lawndale,' Jane said, scratching her head."


• Dominick Morgendorffer, by macross (part 9): "She turned back and saw it was one of the new comers to the school's self-esteem class, Jennifer Burns. The two girls had never really said more than two words to one another in all the time they had both traversed the Lawndale county public school system, so Jane was a bit perplexed by the sudden attention."


• Don't Mess with the Brush (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Serrallonga (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, do you think it was my fault?' 'Excuse me? Of course not. It was his own fault, in all kinds of ways'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 30a): "'You're not planning on turning up at the school dance, are you, Dylan?' 'Why would I want to do that?' prevaricated Dylan. 'I'm spending the evening with Rod.'"


• Fashion Service (Iron Chef: Daria finds out the FC is an escort service), by KnightScarb (COMPLETE!): "'A Call girl, you really thought I could be a hooker. God Daria, I can't even slow dance with a guy without freaking out.'"


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (part 21): "Jane was happy as she was walking across the room with a soda in her hand. People seem to really like my paintings, she thought. Her mood soon soured slightly when she noticed Cassidy walking towards her dressed in a one shoulder, sleeveless red dress with a rhinestone belt, with Tom accompanying her in an expensive tuxedo. OK Lane, just remain calm."


• Just a Phase (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As the Lawndale Lion's cheerleading squad continued to do their performance even as the Lions kicked serious Taproot butt, Daria and Tom watched the spectacle along with the rest of Lawndale. But unlike the rest of the Lawndale, they weren't staring out of enjoyment."


• Life, There's More: Sweet Dreams, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Lin waved through the viewing window and, looking weak, Paula smiled and waved back at him. Seated beside, her, Amy sat, gently holding an infant in her arms. The joy and love on her face was unmistakable."


• More Than One, by KnightScarb (part 1): "Helen saw her oldest daughter standing on the stoop holding a squirming infant. She noticed the clothes that she had never seen before, the long flowing skirt and black blouse."


• A New Direction (Iron Chef: My Dad, the director), by peetz5050 (part 14): "'Ms. Morgendorffer, welcome to Vitale, Horowitz, Riordan, Shrecter, Shrecter and Shrecter. Won't you please step into the boardroom, the Partners and I would like to welcome you properly.'"


• A Really Early Meeting (IC: Early Meeting), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Can I help?' squeaked a voice. Daria turned to see a boy her age he had a whole sandcastle kit, shovel, pale, and the long rectangle pieces for easy walls. 'My sister Elsie's always knocking down my stuff too.'"


• Simpatico, by SacredDust (part 1): "Jane put down her fork and waited patiently. 'You said people have different sides to them, right? Go on.' Daria hesitated. 'Um...do you think we do, too? As in, you and I?'"


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 17): "It had taken a lot of hard work and training, but by God one Tom Sloane had gotten a spot on the Lacrosse team at Fielding and during his first game had scored the winning goal."


• Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane groaned as he awakened to the sound of beeping machines and his father's voice."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria finds out the FC is an escort service), by ashk09 (part 1): "It was something that the older girl had never heard from her sister; fear, vulnerability. Quinn was normally so cheerfully confident that it seemed that nothing could breach her defences. It seemed like something more than a date going a bit sour."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by ashk09 (COMPLETE!): "They were barely out the door of the Pizza King when Daria suddenly clutched her stomach, almost doubling over in pain."

She's Still Got All Her Bouncity-Bounce!

Brittany's celebrating because today is the anniversary of the children's TV show Captain Kangaroo, which first aired on this day in 1955. Someone might want to explain to Brittany that there weren't actually any kangaroos on the show...but maybe we'll wait until she's put away the boxing gloves.

Meanwhile, Quinn is gathering the cuter technical types for Techies Day, the day we all celebrate the people who save us from the Blue Screen of Death. Stupid tiny hourglass! Spin, damn you, spin!

Fandom News!

• ktrick45 shares a semi-SSW from his hometown.


• Discuss the U. S. government shutdown in a new Nick's Corner thread.


• Why do people assume that aliens will destroy us? Wouter has a few thoughts on the subject.


• Robyn has an image request for specific characters.


• If Daria and Jane were a double act, who would have which role?


• Place your bets on a fight between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Power Rangers.

Looks Like She Didn't Take Brittany's Sunscreen Advice

Old Lady Quinn is on her way to the Better Days Retirement Home cafeteria for some applesauce and pudding in celebration of the International Day of Older Persons. Looks like her hair is as bouncy as ever in spite of her years. Too bad she has no idea where her teeth are.

Speaking of getting older, today is also Sarah Drew's birthday. The actress who voiced Stacy Rowe turns 33 today. Happy birthday, Sarah!

(Unusually Small) Fanfic Update!

• Daria as the Doctor, by ashk09 (parts 1 and 2): "Something hideous and leathery writhed in the tank, gurgling a hideous laugh. 'Excellent. Our ruse with the distress call was successful. Allow her to enter the base unharmed. I have ... plans for the good Doctor.'" (Part 2)


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 16): "The next morning after taking ill, Ashley-Amber found herself waking up feeling unusually perky, considering that she had thrown up the night before without much reason why. She thought about it for a few minutes while in the shower and concluded that it might have just been a fluke, but decided to take something just in case."


• The Misery Dork (New Shared AU: Invertedverse), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "My god, there was this total loser leaning on Daria's locker - he had a sweater vest and everything, he looked like the 1950s."


• A run, run run run a (The All New All-Purpose Creative Writing Thread), by peetz5050 (parts 1 and 2): "'Okay Harry, where is she?' 'Right over there.' 'Where?' 'There, by the water cooler.' 'What? Are you kiddin? That ain't her.' 'Of course it is, we checked it out, her social security number matches the record, that's Dolly Temple.'" (Part 2)


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 22): "It wasn't until Monday that Victor managed to reconnect with the Deviants, but when he did the stories were worth listening too."

"Coffee...caffeine. Dark circles. Capisce?"

I suspect quite a few Daria fans will join Jane in celebrating National Coffee Day, so grab a mug (or two) and get your morning pick-me-up. Quinn will just be sitting over there, moaning about how badly you're going to do in the Mother-Daughter Fashion Show.

I'm sure Brittany will be happy to know that today is also World Heart Day, because hearts mean romance and she loves romance novels! To celebrate, let's share some of Helen's heart-smart lima bean cupcakes...on second thought, let's go grab a pizza instead. I'd rather take my chances with the clogged arteries.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the laughable list of requirements one man is demanding of any would-be partner.


• When exactly does personal responsibility go out the window? breitasparrow wonders about alcohol as an excuse for bad behavior.


• Daria made TV Guide's list of the 60 greatest cartoons. Discuss the ranking and see who else made the cut!


• Jeremy Garrett and Robyn have artwork requests in the Easel.


• What was your favorite artwork from 2013?


• Give your opinion of the fanfic series Abruptly Amy in Golden Oldies.

Chief Mack Daddy

Mack is doing his Sitting Bull impression again because today is Native American Day, which leads me to wonder...are there any Native Americans in Lawndale? Or is African American the closest they could get?

Fanfic Update!

• A Crashing Encounter (IC: Daria wrecks a car), by ashk09 (part 2): "Daria sighed, wondering how much they would dock her pay if she was to murder her friend right here and now, and use her entrails as an exciting new topping. 'If you're not gonna order anything, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.'"


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (part 20): "'I can't believe I'm letting you two drag me to a mall,' Daria huffed. 'Oh come on, Daria, we're going to a formal occasion,' Ashley replied, 'There is a certain level of decorum required by these fancy, upper crust types."


• Just Friends, by minx (part 17): "Trent could hear the girls muffled voices, indistinguishable while his head was covered with Jane's duvet. He thought he heard something vaguely like 'Trent'. His interest piqued, Trent uncovered his head, walked over to the door and strained his ears to listen."


• MST3Q (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "The first scene of today's experiment lit up the theater, and immediately its three viewers longed for the darkness. The first words on the screen appeared: 'Crisswell Predicts.'"


• A New Direction (Iron Chef: My Dad, the director), by peetz5050 (part 13a): "'HI, I'm Kayla Lindstrom from CMC Marketing. I work with Quinn Morgendorffer on the publicity side. I was wondering if you and your friends would have lunch with me today? I have a proposal for you.'"


• Nursery Rhymes (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Okayyyyy,' Tiffany said. 'What do we dooo next?' 'I have it!' Sandi said. 'Nursery rhymes'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Early Meeting), by ashk09 (part 1): "Through the gale, Daria heard a noise, but between the roar of wind and having her jacket pulled up around her head, she couldn't make out what it was; there was a sudden screech, the sound of something slamming, and then a noise she was all-too-familiar with ... someone berating her in a strident tone of voice."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'911 emergency dispatch. What is your emergency?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The carrot-top let a tiny smile cross her face as she saw the single hole in the center of the sheet of paper tacked upon the sand-worn sheet of wood, once part of a wagon... a paper with the face of an angry-looking Chinese woman."


• Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "Anthony DeMartino saw the sign that said, "Duck Jerky, Cherry Fudge, and Homemade Potato Chips," and just knew that he had to stop. None of the three advertised items went together, so the story of this stand just had to be interesting."


• Veronica's Story : The Highland Years, by ST91 (part 4): "'Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Veronica, happy birthday to you!'"

Excelsior!

Kevin's settling in with his favorite issue of Ratboy because today is Comic Book Day! I know he's more interested in the blood splatter than any of the actual words, but hey, the boy is reading. Don't knock it. He can work his way up to Tolstoy gradually.

Aside from Kevin, what characters in Daria do you think would be comic book fans, and which ones would they read? Comic book geeks unite in the comments!

Fandom News!

• MartinUK has some advice about animated GIFs on the board.


• Talk about controversial books in the Banned Books Week thread.


• Could anyone on Daria replace Jane as Daria's best friend, or is she irreplaceable?


• Discuss the potential Warcraft movie in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Where have all the Angst Lords gone? Dennis is wondering.


• Quiverwing is looking for writing advice.

"Hey, if more people spoke up...."

Daria is currently yelling at the TV because she's against the banning of books. That's appropriate, because this week is Banned Books Week--but go ahead and yell at your appliance of choice to protest censorship any other time of the year, too.

If you're looking for something good and controversial for your reading pleasure, see this list of frequently challenged classic books. If you're already read them all, why don't you write a story taking people you know in real life and turning them into fictional characters? It'll be a special assignment, just for you!

Fanfic Update!

• Credence, by Astrocar82 (part 4): "'I want you to stay away from my Kevvie,' Brittany nearly shouted, with anger dotting her face as she stopped just a few feet short of Daria. 'Will do,' Daria monotoned as she continued to get the books out of her locker."


• Daria 1/2, by LSauchelli (part 8): "She wondered what would’ve happened if Ranma had been a second slower. Would Quinn care enough to admit that it was her sister that died? Would her father cry and drink himself to his grave? Would her mother hunt down her killer?"


• Daria on Top, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "I was in luck. Not only is this boy with glasses (his name is Patrick) unbelievably wealthy, but he also happens to be very, very malleable."


• Diversions (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I don't know,' Quinn said to Stacy ten minutes after the final bell rang. 'I'm just...you know...in a rut. After the Fashion Club broke up, things have gotten boring.'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 29b): "Then International Friendship Day lowered her voice to say, 'Everything from Buddha's Birthday to United Nations Day, but not everybody's comfortable talking about that at the moment. Since those three burn-outs ran away to Lawndale, Columbia and Lady Liberty have been going around saying that if we don't have a New Year we might as well give the designation to the Fourth of July.'"


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (part 19): "Daria ended the call and got up off the bed. 'That was Jane. She wants me to come over. Something bad happened.'"


• Life, There's More: Sweet Dreams, by RLobinske (part 6): "'Ms. Trainor and Ms. Rudolph have agreed to a Caesarean Section delivery for Ms. Trainor to avoid further risk to mother and child. She is being prepared for surgery and we will keep in informed as we have more information.'"


• Moments in Emerald Light, by Lord Yellowtail (parts 3 and 4): "The Ring is power beyond her wildest imagination, and the biggest reason she hesitates so long before deciding to begin being a real Green Lantern—not just practicing in her basement and the woods at night—is the far that she might hurt someone too much, or completely by accident." (Part 4)


• Mood Music (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "News of the new girl's encounter with Jane Lane and Jodie Landon spread like wildfire."


• A New Direction (Iron Chef: My Dad, the director), by peetz5050 (part 12): "'I think I pulled off the ingenue schtick without a glitch. Now let's get inside so I can relax a bit. Well would you look at these three wannabees. The wicked witch of the East and her flying monkeys. The Asian one looks like she's a couple of outfits short of a full wardrobe and pigtails is... uh oh, there she goes... and that's jenga. So what do I do? Step over her or play nice? Cameras are still on so nice it is.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Creationist Daria: Were you there?), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Were you there?' asked Daria, smirking."


• Unnamed story (IC: Early Meeting), by ashk09 (COMPLETE!): "It had been a weird day from Jane's perspective; rather than catching-up on sleep, or sketching, as she would normally have done during Self-Esteem Class – a course that she had taken so many times now that she could recite O'Neill's speech backwards – she had actually bothered to engage with one of her colleagues."


• A Whirled Wind Romance, by ognawk (COMPLETE!): " As she took another bite, a vaguely familiar figure approached her table with some pizza. He had long blonde hair and was dressed in a red shirt and black pants. 'Wind?' she said, finally recognizing Jane's oldest brother, 'What are you doing here?'"


• Yes, by Sofa King (COMPLETE!): "'Gruff' entered the Georgetown apartment he shared with his girlfriend, Brittany Taylor, and dropped his keys in the bowl by the door. 'Britt?' he called. 'How'd it go today?' Hearing a noise coming from the kitchen, he hurried towards it to find Brittany on her knees in front of the sink, sobbing quietly, as she seemed be holding onto the lip of the countertop for dear life."

What's the German Phrase for "Go Team Go"?

Brittany's serving up some mugfuls of Oktoberfest cheer, but she's still trying to figure out if this month is September or October. If she asks you to explain, just blame Daylight Savings or something and grab another mug of beer.

J. R. R. Tolkien fans will be interested to know that "The Hobbit" was published on this day in 1937. I don't know if beer was involved in writing the books, but I'm sure some kind of alcohol was involved when Jake gave Helen that freaky hobbit-shaped candle for their anniversary.

Fandom News!

• Stripey is looking for contributions to her online webzine.


• Discuss the shooting spree at Washington Navy Yard.


• What music do you miss the most on the Daria DVDs?


• Kem would like your app recommendations for her tablet.


• Lord Yellowtail started a discussion about his QAQA universe.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: GDTSP9's Early Meeting and LSauchelli's Creationist Daria: Were you there?


• Artists can share their experiences and talk about their projects in the All-Purpose Easel Thread.

'Tis No Time to Be a Landlubber!

Yar! It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and Upchuck is eying the saucy wenches. The scurvy dog had best keep his distance, though, lest the wenches heave him into Davy Jones's locker.

Okay, I'm done now. The truly devoted pirate fans may enjoy Shane Greentree/Gregor Samsa's Esteemarrs!, I Don't (Like Landlubbers), and The Plunderin' Of Don Jake. And, um, yo ho ho or whatever.

Fanfic Update!

• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 45): "He expected to find walk inside the prestigious dorm to find Ethan in his room, either studying, poking Edgar, or teasing Hannibal and Frederick. Instead, he found him spraying the roses in Warville's front garden with a hose hooked up to a large green vat."


• Daria 1/2, by LSauchelli (part 7): "'Put those away.' 'Only when you're six feet under!' exclaimed the lost boy as he threw the dozen bandannas at Ranma. Each was spinning like an electric saw. One touched a desk and cut it in two. Ranma jumped over two, sidestepped another and then jumped towards Daria. A single bandanna was heading towards Daria's head. She closed her eyes, frozen by fear."


• Daria and Quinn: Phone Cards, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'So Quinn...' Quinn: 'Yes Daria, what do you want?' Daria: 'Uh... How did you sell all those phone cards?'"


• Doctor Ewwww, by ognawk (part 1): "Jane looked the visitor up and down, recognising the clothes she was wearing but not her face and hair. She leaned forward slightly and squinted to get a closer look. 'What happened to your hair?' Jane asked."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 29a): "'What the hell?' said Dylan. 'Listen, whoever-you-are, if this is one of Rod's pranks, just go back and tell him I'm not falling for it.' 'I'm International Friendship Day, and I'm here on a secret mission from Holiday Island. I need to recruit you and Rod to help us.'"


• The Game of Six, by Erin M. (part 1): "'Excuse me? Miss Lightning Dust?' a quiet stallion's voice asked. 'Next show's at four,' Lightning replied, not looking up. 'Come back with your challenge then, okay?' A sack of bits landed on the bar in front of her with a loud clunk. Lightning Dust blinked and stared at the sack, before turning to look at the stallion."


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (parts 17 and 18): "Inside Pizza King, Ashley picked up two slices from the counter and walked over to the booth where Daria was sitting and placed the slices on the table. Daria had called him earlier to meet her here to discuss their future, but he had no read on where she was likely to go." (Part 18)


• Just Friends, by minx (part 16): "'You can stay if you want...' A stunned silence crept in. Trent studied Daria. She was the embodiment of a deer caught in headlights. He looked earnestly into her eyes but shed already put the wall back up."


• Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 8): "'The question is, has the infection only spread outside or is the mall overrun too?' asked Daria. 'Academic, the only way we're getting out of here is to bring down the barricade - which we can't - or get the roof and signal for help,' said Barch. 'If the place is overrun, we'll just--' 'Die.' 'Shut up.'"


• Lessons (Iron chef: Mack is (falsely) accused of rape), by Sofa King (COMPLETE!): "'The defendant will rise.' Tom Griffin and his lawyer stand up, as the judge turns his attention towards the jury foreman. In the gallery behind Griffin, Mack Mackenzie, flanked by his classmates and rumored paramours, Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane, stares a hole through the back of Tom's head."


• Life, There's More: Sweet Dreams, by RLobinske (part 5): "After sitting, he turned and said, 'My dear Amy, how are you holding up?' 'I'm a nervous wreck,' Amy said. 'Paula will be fine. She's a tough girl and if I remember correctly, this was her idea.'"


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 5, by peetz5050 (part 3): "Looking out of the window Jane spotted some coats of arms she recognized on the elegant carriages stopped there. She sat back down and turned a speculative eyebrow toward the Magistrata. 'I know you told us the Gryphon's, the Rowling's and Lady Tio Fan and her attendants had been invited to the capitol but the upstart Ruttheimer? Who invited him?'"


• Moments in Emerald Light, by Lord Yellowtail (parts 1 and 2): "Betty isn't vain, but if asked she'll happily admit she wants her life to be meaningful. And so long as her dead-end friendships and looming collegeless, grease-filled future is her fault, her bad decisions coming back to bite her, she's perfectly happy to tell destiny to shove off. Because as long as it's all on her, there's a chance she can get out. Somehow." (Part 2)


• Quinn the Psychopath, by SacredDust (part 11): "Daria locked the door securely behind her. 'Glad you could make it.' Sandi frowned at their dull and grimy surroundings. 'Ewww. You would pick a place like this.'"


• Something Quick (Angst-Off!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "DeMartino regarded the box on his desk with an odd sense of regret he could not quite place. Inside were the meager possessions he kept inside his desk: three mechanical pencils, two pens, a highlighter, a pair of rusty scissors, his favorite CD, and the only picture of his parents he had left."


• Veronica's Story : The Highland Years, by ST91 (part 3): "The one Jake had during what seemed a normal working day was cool and bad at the same time . In fact, at first he was very happy to see his odious boss arrested , found guilty of evading taxes for twelve years. Then he realized what that meant. He was a 42 year old unemployed man with three daughters to support."


• Unintended Providence (Iron Chef: only one parent comes to Lawndale), by deneich (part 2): "'Welcome to Biblio Sanctum, can I help you?' the lady, fortyish, casually dressed in a khaki skirt and a loose fitting fuchsia sweater, said cheerfully as she worked to rearrange a shelf of books along the back wall. 'Yes. I was wondering if you were accepting applications?"


• Unnamed story (IC: Awkward/WTF Endings), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "The hanging body of Quinn Morgendorffer was found swinging from a beam in her parent's garage."


• Unnamed story (IC: Awkward/WTF Endings), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Look, yo,' Method Man stammered, stepping protectively in front of RZA and GZA as they trembled in each others arms. 'Me and my boys...we were just messin' with you. We didn't know you could drop rhymes like that.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: only one parent comes to Lawndale), by macross (part 2): "The large Black vehicle carrying Helen Barksdale made its way through the large corporate park outside of Lawndale on her way to work."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Ewwwww, Daria! What's with this creepy mask?'"


• Yes, by Sofa King (parts 1 - 3): "Taking a deep breath, the bride-to-be opens her eyes and stares at herself in the full-length mirror before her. She fights back tears as she realizes, with no small amount of relief, that she is about to experience what, just a few short years ago, she had convinced herself couldn't happen." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Joyful Jake

What's Jake so happy about? Post your captions in the comments!

Just as Long as They Set a Good Example for Their Daughters

Helen and Linda are having a friendly little chat because it's National Women's Friendship Day, which means that the conversation won't end in passive-aggressive sniping and white-hot fury concealed by a thin veneer of civility. Wow, I almost got through that with a straight face. Seriously, they're probably ready to kill each other by now.

Fandom News!

• Check out the latest Lessons From Lawndale update, courtesy of cfardell_Brenorenz29.


• Space fanatics rejoice! The space probe Voyager 1 has left the solar system...ish.


• Talk about J. K. Rowling's latest project in a new thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: LSauchelli's Mack is (falsely) accused of rape and Shiva's Lawndale High's Corruption Exposed! But not by D&J.

Oh, No!

Daria and Jane suspect that they've just seen a black cat walk under a ladder while breaking a mirror, and that means extra bad luck on top of...(dramatic music)...Friday the 13th!

Still, there's no reason to be worried. After all, today is also Positive Thinking Day, so keep your spirits up instead of letting a bunch of superstitions get you down.

Oh, crap. I sound like Mr. O'Neill, don't I?

Fanfic Update!

• Doctor Ewwww, by ognawk (prologue): "It's started, she thought as she stood up and backed away from the console. She looked at her hands and noticed they were glowing gold as well, with small trails of energy coming from her fingers. She could feel the energy building inside her as the trails became wider."


• From Another Angle, by Shiva (part 2): "The first day back in Lawndale High was going as well as could be expected as far as Farrah was concerned. Oh sure, the teachers were as nutty and (mostly) unreliable as they had been her freshman year. However being able to socialize with her friends made up for it. Somewhat."


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (part 16): "'On that note, I need to arrange a meeting between the four of us. I have something that should explain more of what happened.' 'What could it be?' Tom asked, his curiousity piqued. 'Something I recorded at the colony. I'm not sure it will fix anything, but I think you, Daria and Jane need to at least hear it.'"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 12: Hometown Hero, by Hyrin (part 2): "With the stride of an out-of-shape minor deity, Tommy Sherman strutted through the hallways of Lawndale High."


• A New Direction (Iron Chef: My Dad, the director), by peetz5050 (part 11): "Stacy Rowe was tired. No, I mean really tired. She'd been up all night."


• Six Million Dollars and a Few Tubes of Paint (IC: Disabled Daria), by Ranger Thorne (part 1): "Sitting on the side of the bed, he asked, 'How are you feeling?' Glaring at him with her one eye, she gritted her teeth and hissed, 'I'm missing half of me and you're wondering how I'm feeling?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: only one parent comes to Lawndale), by macross (part 1): "Down the Suburban Streets of Lawndale came a large black vehicle. Its design was a meeting of sophistication and sheer power. To the casual the observer it highly resembled the militaristic Humvee mated with the compact luxury SUV."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Mr. DeMartino screamed in agony, his now empty right eye socket oozing blood and puss, the classroom stared in horror."

Twelve Years Later

Today is Patriot Day, which commemorates the attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon twelve years ago. For Glenn Eichler's thoughts on those events and Daria characters' likely reactions to them, see his interview with Kara Wild.

Quite a few authors have also written fanfics relating to the 9/11 attack, which you can read here:

• Across the Violet Sea by Dennis


• Darkness by The Angst Guy


• A Matter of Priorities by Richard Lobinske


• Nightmare by Erin Mills


• Nine-Eleven and Counting by The Angst Guy


• Ninety-Three by M Man


• Prepare for Bore by DW Death

Fandom News!

• Lessons From Lawndale has been updated again. Thanks, cfardell_Brenorenz29!


• Kara Wild found a familiar-sounding parody by the Nostalgia Chick.


• How bad will the upcoming movie Diana be? Give your opinion in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• deneich posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: only one parent comes to Lawndale.


• Check out a blast from the past in Reese Kaine's repost of alt.lawndale.com.

"Wait, I can get a bear. I'll get two bears. Three!"

Brittany has a very special gift for Daria in honor of Teddy Bear Day, but she asks that in return Daria leaves her beloved Kevvy alone. I think she can accept that request; how about you?

I would also like to humbly mention that today marks my third year as a fill-in blogger for The Angst Guy. You know, call me suspicious but I'm starting to think this might not be a temporary position after all.

Fanfic Update!

• Anti-Trope: Chapter 4, by minx (part 4): "I began to seriously question if I'd been subconciously institutionalised. It was the only sane answer I could come up with as to why I had willingly put myself into this situation... Three days... Just three of the longests most nerve wearying days of my life..."


• Boot to the Head , by Teeki (COMPLETE!): "Mrs. Linda Jean Morrison had taught second grade at Woll Elementary in Highland for nearly thirty years, but she'd never had a student quite like Quinn Morgendorffer."


• Consequences, by ST91 (part 5): "Even now, weeks later, Clint could not believe what his brother had been able to create. A plan ... nay , a machiavellian trap from which it was impossible to escape."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 28): "'What's the big idea, signing me up for reading to seniors?' 'Yeah, I know, you had some weird freak plan to choose something that was all wrong for you, I bet. What was it? Picking up stuff from along the highway?'"


• From Another Angle, by Shiva (part 1): "It was the first day back in school and while it was kind of exciting to be back, in the crowd hanging outside of the building a girl with long blond hair felt the warm morning breeze drift around her and felt kind of blue for a moment."


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (part 15): "The following morning, Ashley had a plan. He left his cabin and decided to pay Allison a little visit. Stopping outside her door, he rummaged around in his pockets for a second before knocking."


• Great Professor Dario Ch. 1 A fresh start, by ST91 (part 4): "'Ms. Li, I presume.' Said Dario watching the asian woman. 'You've presumed right Mr. Morgendorffer, please sit down.' She said pointing to one of the two chairs in front of her desk."


• Last Chance in Highland (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Slade's gang had almost got him at the MaxiMart and like a chump he'd not thought about where he was running to. Earl had taken a .9mm to the side and fired half his shots in suppressive fire, and now he'd run into a dead end."


• Lawndale (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Lawndale is a U.S. state located in the Mid-Atlantic region of the United States, bordering Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania. The state is a transformation of 'Lanedale', after the founder [[Vincent Lane, 1st Lord Lane]]."


• Lawndale High Wants to Spice Up Your Life (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The students of Lawndale High stared in communal shock and amazement as a bright light on the stage revealed Ms. Li in a Union Jack dress with oversized red platforms, then more figures joined her."


• Little Mary, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "The teacher nervously eyed Mary Fitch as she approached the front of the classroom, paper in hand. While normally the most disruptive student in class, she had been given an assignment to write a small report on Franklin Roosevelt and recite it afterwards, and it was the teacher's hope that she wouldn't be able to act out via such an innocuous topic."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 12: Hometown Hero, by Hyrin (part 1): "Daria opened her mouth to retort, but before she could say anything the door to Ms. Li's office opened and she beckoned them inside. Once they were all seated, she addressed them. 'All of you have been called here because you are currently the most active troublemakers on campus, and I am giving you fair warning that your shenanigans will not be tolerated during the events of the next week.'"


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 5, by peetz5050 (part 2): "'Oh very well, I'm awake. What's afoot? Why am I being awoken at this ungodly hour?' Lady Jane asked testily, she was NOT a morning person at the best of times. 'His Grace, Duke Jakob, has asked to break his fast with you and Lady Joanna, he must leave early so we must hurry.' The girl replied apologetically."


• Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 4): "'Jake.' Judy's fingers tapped a tattoo against her thighs as she stood by the doors to gather her thoughts. 'Jake, I know you've recently remarried. I was wondering what caused your first marriage to fail.'"


• Quinn the Psychopath, by SacredDust (parts 9 and 10): "'Excuse me, Quinn. May I have a word with you?' The Club looked up from the usual cat-and-mouse reverie of its leaders to see Mrs. Manson standing before them, wielding a pen and clipboard with an air of determination." (Part 10)


• Sweet Dreams, by RLobinske (part 4): "The bathroom door cracked open and Sammi said, 'Excuse me.' 'What is it, dear?' Paula said. 'I'm afraid that we may have to impose on Daria and Michael. My water just broke.'"


• Unintended Providence (Iron Chef: only one parent comes to Lawndale), by deneich (part 1): "All musings ceased, however, as Daria opened the door and found not her Father but two Highland, Texas Police officers standing there. The expressions on the officers faces made it clear that something bad had happened."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Daria - It all boils down to trust. Helen - Exactly. It all boils down to trust. Show a little trust. (Daria leans forward and looks out the front window) Daria – And this really looks like just the place to do it, too."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Why, oh God WHY?!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "... AN APOCOLYPTIC THUNDERSTORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 900 PM FOR NORTHWESTERN CARTER, LAWNDALE, AND OAKWOOD COUNTIES..."

God Save the Cynical Queen!

It was on this day 480 years ago that Queen Elizabeth I was born. Daria, in her alter ego of the English monarch, looks pretty good for being almost half a millennium old.

One of Kevin's favorite anniversaries is also today: the sports channel ESPN was launched on this day in 1979. Although he seems to prefer the Pigskin Channel, I'm sure he at least switches over during the commercial breaks. Gotta keep up with current events, after all.

Fandom News!

• Help DIsaac come up with ideas for a Daria-themed college paper.


• Post about any songs that remind you of a Daria character.


• Share footage you loved but which now makes you feel sad in a new thread.


• How many of the 17 problems only book lovers will understand have you experienced?


• Talk about your favorites in a new anime thread.


• LSauchelli posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: The Long-legged!Fashion!Daria.

The Extra Quart of Grease is Completely Optional

Pull up a chair and grab a slice to celebrate National Cheese Pizza Day! Ted is shocked by his first taste of processed cheese, although he still wants to know what process they use. I think the rest of us are happier living in blissful ignorance.

I would say that Trent is celebrating Be Late For Something Day, but the lazy bastard hasn't shown up yet. Depressing or not, someone really needs to get that guy a watch.

Fanfic Update!

• Climb the Ladder, by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Jane answered her cell phone. 'Yeah, I'll be there... I swear I'm on my way, Quinn, okay?' She put the phone down and rubbed her eyes. After a quick look around her room she found the pieces of an outfit and slipped them on."


• Credence, by Astrocar82 (part 3): "Soon the time had come and Quinn and Stacy walked uncertainly to their doom, where they saw Jane and O'Neill waiting for them in the room next to the stage of the auditorium."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 27): "I still have to agree that my father's reasoning was basically sound. I did nearly run over that dog while I was having my driving lesson, and contact lenses really would avoid the problem my glasses create for my peripheral vision, so I'm in agreement on principle—but do you know what you have to do when you're putting in contact lenses?"


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "The gathering dusk had brought in a light fog, leaving the city with a slight haze. There, in front of the massive front gates, were two cloaked figures. Neither was exceptionally tall, but even from his office he could sense their menace and power 'Get the slayers, won't you?' he told his assistant. 'Have them arm themselves then meet me at the gate.'"


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (parts 13 and 14): "'Look, Daria, there's something I need to tell you,' he said, looking her straight in the eye, 'I'm not proud of it, but I want to be completely honest with you.'" (Part 14)


• GSA: The "Cousins" Morgendorffer, by GDTSP9 (part 1): "Daria sighed. She'd been waiting outside the airport for ages now, and Quinn still hadn't shown up. As Daria looked around, she almost didn't see the mid-sized grey car pull up in front of her. Quinn leaped out of the car and tightly hugged her sister."


• A New Direction (Iron Chef: My Dad, the director), by peetz5050 (parts 9 and 10): "'Uh oh.' Jane said then touched Daria's sleeve and pointed at the door. Daria turned around to see two of the school security staff accompanying a large, threatening cumulo nimbus cloud in an Armani suit. Jammy glared at her and indicated the door with a jerk of his head." (Part 10)


• Quinn the Psychopath, by SacredDust (parts 7 and 8): "Daria knew she would have to fight hard to stem the tide of Quinn's relentless quest for even more popularity (even if Quinn herself didn't see it as much). She illustrated her strategy with some of the hideous clay models they had made for a school project years ago." (Part 8)


• Red World, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "John Crichton slowly opened his eyes and was met with the usual darkness. Groggily, he turned his head left, and looked out the adjoining window. The stars were arranged in a formation he was not familiar with. 'Well,' he said, reluctantly stretching on his mattress, realizing what day it was, 'I guess today's it. Lights on.'"


• Shaggy Meets the Twins! (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the dumb self-esteem class, the kid everyone called Shaggy couldn't resist a smirk as that new girl and her twin brother acted like they were secretly lovers, causing Mr. O'Neill to go into shock and pass out."


• Unnamed story (IC: DeMartino has Barch Arrested), by CartoonDork (COMPLETE!): "'What the hell do you think you're doing? Get your hands off of me, you dirty rotten men!' It was certainly a sight to see--Ms. Janet Barch being handcuffed by two policemen, right in the middle of her science class. "

Hey, I'm the POTUS!

History lesson time! On this day 230 years ago, the Treaty of Paris was signed, which ended the American Revolutionary War. Of course, if they'd known President Kevin was in their future, the founding fathers might not have been so eager.

Fandom News!

• The rules for the 2013 Daria Fanworks Awards have been posted. It's never too early to start sending in nominations!


• Don't think, just type. Post your stream of consciousness in a new thread.


• J-D has a question about dress colors in "Daria Dance Party."


• Erin M. introduces a new series: I Can Explain Everything! See the first episode, "Schrodinger's Cat."


• Tell everyone about the bands you wish you would've seen.


• Share your non-Daria plot bunnies in the Creative Writing forum.


• honoshikun wonders about Jane and Trent's ethnicity.

"Relax? How can I relax when somebody says 'relax' like that?!"

It's Labor Day weekend, the holiday that celebrates working by...not working. Trent is probably the patron saint of this day, especially if he's gotten around to that "farmer paid not to grow crops" job. Helen, on the other hand, is probably going through withdrawal by now.

Fanfic Update!

• Anti-Trope: Chapter 4, by minx (part 3): "'I know it's hard for you to fit in, and I know you think Ms Li is out to get you but you need to realise you put yourself in these situations.' 'I do not,' Dean muttered stubbornly."


• Can't Sleep, by ashk09 (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Daria,' said a voice, and she felt a weight join her on the bed."


• Dying on the Inside, by minx (part 2): "Trent awoke to the hand siren blasting through the ward. With a groan he dragged himself out of bed. He had learned quickly the staff like early risers."


• The Great And The Good, by ognawk (parts 10 - 12): "While they were talking, Cassidy had walked in and spotted them. After picking up a soda from the counter, she made a beeline for their table and sat right next to Tom." (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Green Dragon Rising Book 1, by Grifter74 (part 2): "Daria struggled against Goldar's iron grip to no avail, as she was dragged through a palace on the moon, of all things. They were followed by Squatt and Baboo, who held Jane between them still wrapped up in a net. The group eventually stopped in front of a balcony where Rita Repulsa stood."


• Jane reacts to... (IC: Daria reacts to fanfic), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Okay, so I'm still with Nathan. This has got to be a momentary lapse in judgement before I dump him. Wait why is holding my wrists tightly, why am I not walking out the door?"


• Journey to the West, by Grifter74 (part 1): "After writing about a dozen or so people, Daria spot two guys that looked like they stepped out of an old gangster movie."


• Quinn the Psychopath, by SacredDust (parts 5 and 6): "It wasn't every day that a former waitress who hadn't even finished her Ph.D. could get hired to a position at a public high school. Sometimes, Margaret Manson wished it hadn't been her day." (Part 6)


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 11): "'Yes, Jane, Every now and then I still find myself praying, just not so much. The thing is, every time I pray, I find that I'm talking to myself...'"


• This is the Morning of our Love (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "As she noticed his gaze had never left her even for second Daria's confession of love trailed off and she looked down at the scuffed leather of her boots, her cheeks burning as she waited for him to react."


• The Writing on the Wall, by SinisterExaggerator (part 2): "Daria was an inch away from cheese-whacking the person prostrate on the closet floor, but she stopped her hand as soon as her flashlight beam hit some familiar locks of flaming orange hair. 'Quinn,' she growled."