Expecto Dariam!

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter's number one fan, is 45 today. Happy Birthday to you, and thank you for all the great books that inspired so many Daria crossovers. We leave Ms. Barch's crystal ball from "Fair Enough" as today's special image. Previous blog posts naming some of the Daria/Harry Potter crossovers may be discovered by clicking on Ms. Rowling's name under "Labels."

Another source of Daria crossovers, The Shadow, was first broadcast over radio on this day 80 years ago. Thanks to Ranger Thorne for his marvelous "Shadow of a Cynic" series.

Finally, this is Hawaiian Flag Day, the easy-to-pronounce version of the day's real name. The Is It Fall Yet? image of the Three Js surfing is sufficient for that. And Stacy in a hula skirt, and Mack as a surfer dude (late adds). Enjoy.

NuuZ!

• Roxanne M offers a new and startling Iron Chef: The Date. Perhaps you should read it instead of me spoiling it here...
• Getrealordie187's new Iron Chef is Daria and Military School. (Self-explanatory enough, right?)
• And now we have Iron Chef: Guys and Guys. Do it to it.
• NEW! Erin M. warns us that today is the LAST DAY for Judith Strikes! stories. Get to it!
• NEWER! Daria Motivational Posters by the metric ton!
  
• NEWER! OverlordMikey presents: The Puppet Princess Of Lawndale Kingdom 'The Artwork'
  

FF.net

• If Nothing Else, by Harley McCoy (Part 2): Soon they arrived, the double doors hissing open to allow Quinn, Jane, Jodie, and Mack to enter. Still wearing her blue gown, her tassel jumping as the young Morgendorffer girl clopped in her heels into the lobby. Helen was first to notice her daughter and the barrage of people behind her. "Quinn! Thank God you're here!" Mrs. Morgendorffer was made-up nicely, a knee length skirt and red silk blouse. Jake had a green polo and tan slacks. More casual than Helen would approve, but with a rising concern for Mr. Morgendorffer's heart, his over-worked wife let it slide. "How are you holding up?" Fumbling to articulate an answer, Quinn mumbled at first. "I, uh, I'm fine. What happened? Is she all right?" "We don't know yet. The doctor won't tell us," Helen answered, her voice rising in pitch from frustration.

Outpost Daria

• The Alter-Ego Chronicles 1: Rowe'd Racin', by The Excellent S (COMPLETE!): "Why did you pull me in? We were in the top 15!" "The tires were about to go, and we have no more left." "Really? No more tires? You've got to be kidding me..." "Money is tight, Stacy. We have to keep starting-and-parking until we can get a full-time sponsor. It's not good, but it's all we can do." (PPMB discussion)

PPMB

• MORE NEWEST! The Ballad of Daria and Stacy, a round robin by lots of people (in progress): "Excuse me. I have a question." "Sorry, question-and-answer time is later." "I want to know what "realizing your actuality" means," said Daria, not saying "it's meaningless isn't it?" but certainly thinking it loudly. "It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video!" She wasn't sure whether to bother paying more attention in the hope of gleaning info, or if she should veg out and catch up on sleep. Before she could decide, the petite, pigtailed brunette sitting behind her gave a gentle poke. [Sorry I didn't catch this one when it first appeared!]
  
• Behind the Scenes of the Parade, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Ted stood in an alleyway with Robert. Behind them the parade continued onward unaware of their encounter. "I came to this parade to find you," Ted said nervously.
  
• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Dorian, I have to admit. I was skeptical at first over the whole change thing. However, I see so much of Daria in you. I knew I was wrong." "How do you think I feel? I went to bed that night as Daria..and after night of complete and utter hell. I became Dorian." "May I ask... what was it like, changing like that?"
  
• Daria/Dorian 6: Christmas Chaos, by LadieT (Part 1): It was strange how the whole Daria-to-Dorian thing had changed Jane's view of Quinn. Jane remembered the night Quinn had shown up at her house because she didn't want to be at home by herself. Then, Jane thought about the night of Daria's birthday. How she held Quinn while Quinn cried over the loss of her sister. She is truly afraid that she will end up alone and forgotten. I guess I'm not the only one with abandonment issues. Maybe this will be good for the both of us. (FF.net)
  
• Dimwits & Dragons, by Ken Tremberth (Part 1): Sighing in exasperation, Jane stood up and went over to her canvas, turning the light on. It was an incomplete painting. It had remained incomplete for most of the week. She picked up the brush, dipped it into the oil paint, and stood staring at the half-finished painting. Outside, the rumbling of thunder could be heard as a storm came in. Jane had known about this storm since eleven, the only thing on TV at the time being the local news. Her eyes narrowed as she stood there holding the brush an inch from the waiting canvas. (Daria/Dungeons & Dragons: The Animated Series)
• NEWER! Feel Like a Winner, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): The football game was long and hard, and, thanks to yet another attempt by Kevin to run the touchdowns in himself like Tommy Sherman, Lawndale ended up losing again. Robert sighed as he headed back to the locker room.
  
• NEWER! Finn Morgendorffer 54: On the Outside of Love, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): Jane was glad she wasn’t holding anything fragile in her hands when she saw her mom, she nearly toppled over. “I cannot believe you are here!” Amanda remarked with both surprise and pleasure. “In... France.” Jane wasn’t certain what her mother was trying to say. (Part 6) (ENDING)
  
• A Girl's Gotta Do What a Girl's Gotta Do, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Daria, are you feeling alright? I mean, this plan of yours, it's so not you. It will upset the natural order of things at school." "Yes, Jane. I'm fine. It's something I have to do." "Wellllll.... alright. I trust you. Foolish of me, I know."
• Gravedigger, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Daria sat her shovel down. She lifted her gloved hand to push her glasses back in place. She looked up at the sky. It was turning a darker shade of grey by the second. She looked at her map of the cemetery and walked towards the spot highlighted on the paper. She grabbed her ladder. Her usual partner had called in sick. It was rare for the funeral home to call her in to do a solo dig. She thought back on when she first got the job two years earlier. Her mother went ballistic. Jane handled it better. "That occupation survey we completed our junior year did say you were better suited to work with the dead."
  

• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (Part 4): Daria had been all set for another session of blushing, being nervous, and otherwise indulging her hormones with Trenty goodness, but that was a bit hard when Jane was in the basement too, with paint and easel and a gleam in her eye. “You better not be about to say ‘I’m here to paint you’,” said Daria, “or I’m going to play Spice Girls songs. This is not an idle threat.” “I’m present to paint you,” said Jane. “Well played. As will be Zig-a-Zig-Ah.” (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 47): Helen didn't even bother pulling up to the driveway. "All right, now remember that we have frozen lasagna." "We have seven boxes of frozen lasagna!" Quinn cried. "Gahd!" "Well, until I can trust that neither you nor your sister will destroy the kitchen, you'll be sticking to frozen foods." Daria smiled. "You're still not going to forget Quinn's little accident, are you?" "Mo-OM! I was nine!" Quinn cried.
• Hell Hath No Fury, Like Daria Pissed Off! by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): The two girls huddled across the table at their local pizza joint. "Val's coming back to Lawndale to do a followup piece on me." "What? Where'd you hear that?" "I got an email from someone at the magazine. She didn't like the hatchet job Val did on me, and wanted me to know Val is going to do a piece on how the whole cancer/leukemia thing has affected "'D', the bummer chick". She somehow must have seen that little announcement about me coming home in the Sun-Herald. Anyway, I already emailed Mac and asked him not to cooperate with her. He told me she or anyone else from the magazine won't even be allowed past the front door!" "I always did like him. Now I know why. So, now what?" "I'm thinking about it."
• Jane Lane: Ace Attorney 2—Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (Part 2): Jane dragged her feet, forcing herself to meet her client. She was thankful that Sandi didn’t see a reason to accompany her for this task, because truthfully, she thought she would have her plate full with one psychopath at a time. She looked at the ceiling and started counting cracks on it, wondering how much of an idiot she was for not only accepting this case but also betting her career on it. (NEW! FF.net) (Daria/Ace Attorney)
• MORE NEWEST! John Lane 47: Another Look in the Mirror, by RLobinske (Part 1): The cordless phone rang and Helen said, "I'll get it," as she picked it up. "Hello? Oh, hello, Mom." John quickly stood and went behind Helen to move the kitchen knife away from her hand.
  
• Judith Strikes! A Story About Nothing, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "I hate Ring portals," the second woman said, glaring around at their surroundings. She was dressed in military fatigues in the white and grays of the urban camouflage pattern, but was without a helmet and allowed her auburn hair to sweep around her shoulders. Her goggles glinted greenly as they automatically compensated for the low illumination in the room, and she carefully swept her HK-5 from left to right as she scanned the room.
  
• Judith Strikes! Would It Help to Close Your Eyes? by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Judith appeared in the middle of the street. She was ready for whatever the world might throw... there was nothing. It wasn't what wasn't but what should have been. This was a populated world. There should be people—people who would pose a threat to her—yet when she appeared she saw no one. She had brought two armed men with her to keep the fools who attacked her at distracted since she didn't have time to kill everyone, yet they were gone as well. Judith opened her mouth but no sound came out. What the hell?
• NEWER! Just a Peek, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Damn, I can't take it!" sounded the voice of Jeffy. "Quinn's just using us!" cried Jamie. "She's really cute and all, but I'm beginning to think she doesn't like me." "I still like you," Jeffy said with a grin.
  
• NEWER! The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Parts 8 and 9 and 10): Jane was asleep when she heard a slight moan come from Daria's bed. Jake shot up from the pullout couch he had been lying on. Trent who had been sitting beside Jane got up and walked over to Daria's bed. He was the first she saw when she came to. She blinked several times as she tried to focus. Trent reached for her glasses and placed them on her. She gave him a weak smile. "Hey Dee... glad to see you're awake." (Part 9) (Part 10)
  
• Pulp Fiction, by Chris Tucker (Parts 4 and 5): "Hey, James. There's cops going door to door outside." Jane was by the window that overlooked the street. "Looks like they're carrying flyers. I think they may be looking for you!" "Damnation! I can't be found. Too many questions would be asked that can't be answered right now. I need the phone again." (Part 5) (Daria/Doc Savage)

• EVEN MORE NEWEREST! The Question, by LadieT (Parts 1 and 2 and 3 and 4): It was not often that Anthony showed his softer, gentler side in public. Being with Timothy, though, always helped him open up. They had been keeping their love life completely private... (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
  
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): Once again, Stacy found herself running headlong toward what was certainly some sort of peril. Before, it had been the thought that the Goggle Eyes Man might hurt someone else when she could have done something about it that had driven her forward. But they had caught him. She and Ms. DeFoe had found Kevin and were keeping a close eye on him. Hearing the piercing shriek had jumbled those confident thoughts. (more continued)
  
• Stolen, by Malakite (Part 3): Henry blinked. Something seemed slightly off. There was a girl maybe half his age hanging on his arm. He pushed down the uncertainty as just being unable to believe his good luck. He'd gotten away from that shrew Janet, she had been a shrew, he reassured himself. They weren't happily married and she wasn't a wonderful wife and mother. Where had that come from? He leaned over to kiss Cindi as the query exited his mind.
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "Hi, Daria," Sandi said, smiling and waving the shorter girl into the room. "I'm really glad you made it, you don't know how worried I am about my algebra. I know I'll pass, but I don't want to just pass I want to do well, and..." Her voice trailed off as she watched Daria toss her coat onto the couch. Her guest turned and faced her with an expectant look on her face. "Is that... why do you have a black eye?" Sandi asked. "Did Tom...?" "No," Daria said, shaking her head. "Tom didn't hit me, Jane did."
• Uncle Anthony's Happy-Fun Esteem Class, by Charles RB (Part 2): "I've got a little CHALLENGE for you. TODAY we talked about your DAYdreams and what you WANT from your home life—toNIGHT, you're ALL going to home and do JUST THAT—and if they COMPLAIN, tell them the SCHOOL ORDERS IT!" He jabbed a finger at Daria. "What's a daydream that YOU'D like to see COME TRUE?" "I guess I'd like my whole family to do something together. Something that'll really make them suffer." "And WHY is that?" "To get them to actually pay attention to me and not trying to get me to be more like my sister." "Remember the GOLDEN rule, Daria..." "If someone is doing something to irritate you, tell them about it in detail," she parroted. "EXCELLENT."
  
• An Unexpected View, by Paisleygal (continued): "My sophomore year in college, I injured my knee...in practice. It was kind of disappointing that I couldn't go out in front of a crowd of screaming fans, but it did put me out of the game. I had to have two different surgeries and several months of physical therapy. The doctors said I could play football, but if I got hit just right I might have trouble walking without a cane. My heart wasn't really in football anymore, so I made the smart choice."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Date), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The gang in white tore through the door laughing, their leader seizing Jane as they went, stomping and jeering into the kitchen... ...and stopping. "Wait, is this house pre-trashed? What are we supposed to do then?" (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Tom stared down at the piece of paper that showed the address. He stood at the door, frozen in time. The house itself had gone through major repair, but the mailbox proved it had the same owner. It was a familiar place, one he used to visit when he was a teenager. That was when he was on top of the world....
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): Trent was exhausted from the night before. It took seven hours to get to their weekend gig, which didn't end until 2 am. It was 10 the next morning when he woke up to a light kiss on the ear. "Jesse?" "Hm?" "Why did you kiss my ear?"
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "You the man, Tommy! You the MAN!"
• NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Hey, what's with all the damn noise down there?!" Jane yelled down the stairs. "I mean, the noise that isn't the usual barrage of anti-music?" "'Nother fight," Trent said as she stomped into the basement to stand next to him and Jesse. "The usual."

• NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by LibertyBellJar (COMPLETE!): Jake Morgendorffer was left alone in the silence of the Lane family’s living room as Jane and Daria got ready upstairs. His eyes wandered and he soon found himself staring up at the ceiling, admiring a rough mural of the cast of Saved by the Bell descending into the fires of hell. As jarring as it was, it was hardly out of place in a home where photographs of medical school cadavers were splashed across the walls.
• NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): The toilet stall felt so cold and impersonal. Anthony hated doing this, but when he felt his urges coming on, he needed relief and he needed it right away.
• MORE NEWEST! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "You want some of my pepperoni now?"
• EVEN MORE NEWEST! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): “I pity the fool that don’t have self-esteem!” (Daria/The A-Team)
  
• NEWER! Unnamed story (Short note...), Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, it's only for one week. One week won't kill you." "NO! I'm NOT leaving the house wearing, that, that, that THING!"
  
• Unnamed story (A Work in Progress. Subject to Revision), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "James, it was really nice to come with us to see Jane off on her flight to New York." "Hey, no problem. Got a few hours between finals and I needed the break. I like hanging with you two. You're fun to be around." "Still, it was nice and we both appreciated... Jeeze, look at that!" She was pointing to huge, delta winged jet making its landing approach at Logan airport. "Oh, hell! It's the X-1! What the devil are they doing here? This is NOT their turf!" (Daria/Doc Savage/Venture Brothers)
  

Brittany Rocks!

Brittany Taylor appears here as she might look if famed sculptor Henry Moore had used her as a model for one of his abstract works. Today is Henry Moore's 112th birthday anniversary (as was noted last year). Not sure if this qualifies as "fan art," as Mr. Moore died over a decade before Daria went on the air.

Penguin Books celebrates its 75th birthday today. The appearance of Penguin sparked the paperback book revolution, making inexpensive copies of great works available to everyone, at least until today when the price difference between a large trade paperback and a hardbound is almost nothing, given that they cost about $20 each.

NO0OZ!

• The Daria Fan Club has 1,800 fans and a lot of new stuff uploaded there. You might wish to check it out.
• By contrast, MTV's official Daria site on Facebook has over 390,000 fans, with loads of images for you to download.
• The Daria message board at Television Without Pity is now 55 pages long.
• DariaWiki has 3,392 entries. More on this soon.
• The Daria TV show entry at Wikipedia has been constantly updated in recent weeks. Lookin' good.

FF.net

• College Wry, by LibertyBellJar (Part 5): Working the graveyard shift of the local twenty-four-hour convenience store could not be said to be the most favorable job in the word. But, the way the young clerk saw it, you had your perks. Witnessing the craziest of the crazies, for example, as he was now. One of the two soaking wet girls before him merely glared ferociously when he smirked, "Having a fun night, ladies?"

PPMB

• Am working on the list. A bit behind here. LATER: Sorry, will have to put the list in the next blog post. Just one of those weeks, folks.
  

Better Late Than Never

Hi, there. Running late, I know. A regular post is coming later.

Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of the premiere of "Speedtrapped" on MTV. Daria got to demonstrate her homicidal tendencies, Quinn proved she knew how to drive but was otherwise mega-stupid, and Jane got to teach someone about Jasper Johns.

Moar on the way.

A Very Strange Birthday Present for Jane

"Pierce Me" turns 12 today, it being that many years since the popular Daria episode premiered on MTV. A previous post here lionized the episode and some of the good things in it, so I'll leave it at that. Break out your DVDs and enjoy the ep. That look of romantic longing on Daria's face when she's staring up at Trent... wow. That WTF? look on Jane's face when she first sees Daria's piercing... priceless.

Today is National Sleepy Head Day, plus being a critical date in a Daria fanfic and the birthday of the woman who sang Jane Lane's favorite song of all time. The immortal Bugs Bunny turns 70 today, too.

"Little Shop of Horrors" opened off-Broadway in NYC 28 years ago today. The play is crossed over only once in all Daria fanfiction, but it was a very fine job indeed.

NO0OZ!

• Breitasparrow has unleashed two mind-blowing crossover artworks using Daria characters and 1960s modern-fantasy TV sitcoms. Go, thou, and be amazed!

PPMB

• Bedside Consultation II, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "So, Daria, how does it feel to be going home?" "Words do not exist!" "Hah! Yeah, I bet. Your father will be here in about an hour, traffic willing. We're going to miss you, but we're damned happy to see you leave." "Yeah, about that. I... this isn't easy for me. Look, I want to apologize for all the grief I caused you and everyone else." "Oh, and what 'grief' might this be, then?" "Come on! You know. The tantrums, the swearing, the cursing, God, the throwing stuff around."
• A Clockwork Sandi, by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Sandi Griffin sat with her droogs at their usual place at the Korova Milk Bar. Each of them held a non-fat Soy milk, laced with Vellocet, to sharpen them all up for some of the old ultraviolence.... (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 6): Jane opened her eyes in shock when she felt Dorian's lips press against hers. She started to resist, then began to return the kiss in full. After their lips broke apart, her blue eyes fixed on his face. Jane's breath began to fog up Dorian's glasses. She lifted them off of his face as their lips met again. After the second kiss, Dorian said four words that made time stand still. "I love you too."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 54: On the Outside of Love, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Stacy knocked on Finn’s door and was very grateful to see him at home. “Hey!” Finn cheered, and gave Stacy a firm hug. “Finn! Hello!” Stacy responded with her cheer. Anything to stall the bad news for just a few moments. She did not relish what it was she was about to do, but Finn had to know.
• Judith Strikes! Symbiosis, by Silver (COMPLETE!): No alarms. Barely any noise. Judith hit the ground as softly as she could manage. “No guards. Given the way this world works, they're probably stoned off their asses.” She straightened, brushing her crimson cloak off in an almost vain gesture. She smirked, remembering the looks of its creators before she'd taken it. And, for that matter, taken their lives. She forced her mind back to the task at hand. Her eyes fell on the book, one of several in the museum's exhibit. A book, salvaged from the ruins of Miskatonic University's prestigious Orne Library.

• Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "You've been reassigned by the head office. You're going to Maryland. Some podunk suburb." Tony looked through the mess of papers on his desk like a bloodhound after a baloney sandwich. Which reminds me, I haven't had lunch yet. "Ah! Here it is. Lawndale, Maryland. A little town where nothing ever happens. The head office is sending you to Siberia, Kolchak. No more of your damn fool monster of the week stories. They're fed up with your little fantasies." (Daria/Kolchak: The Night Stalker)
• The Lanes Get to Do Some Cussing, or, Writer's Block Comix, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 1): "I have a collect call for Jane from the Spiral, in Walla Walla, Washington; will you accept charges?" "Yes," she agreed, instantly. "Janey, I need you to wire us five hundred bucks." Of course, it was her beloved brother, Trent. He sounded haggard, exhausted. "WHAT? Where am I going to lay hands on that kind of money? I thought you guys were doing well on this trip!"
  
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 19): Jane put her arms out to embrace her friend. "I can't wait to get back here, Daria. It's lonely down there in Lawndale without you. There's hardly anyone to talk to, except Trent." Daria felt very warm. "Jane, we're sisters, right?" Jane released her. "Not biologically, but yeah, I guess we are. I'm not all that close to Penny or Summer, so you're the nearest I have to a sister." Daria reached around to the back of her neck. A moment later, she held a thin gold chain with a crystal pendant in her hand.
  
• School Days, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Dear Mac: Gained two more pounds, up to 88 pounds. Putting on muscle, especially in the legs. If I have any reason whatsoever to be grateful for being sick, it's that now I never ever have to do that stupid rope climbing thing in gym class! So while my comrades in humiliation struggle skywards, I am condemned to briskly trot around the perimeter of the gymnasium. Oh, the humiliation, the shame, the time to think while I enjoy a pleasant solitary stroll, my thoughts interrupted only by the sound of the occasional body falling onto the safety mats.
• Unnamed story (Three Edged Sword), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): What do you think they're working on in Tom's room right now?
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "GENTLEmen! COCK your PISTOLS!" Daria's father... "GENTLEmen! AIM your PISTOLS!" ...had been bred, like many other young sons of working-class families, to the military arts. (Daria/Barry Lyndon)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Quinn dropped off her books on the kitchen counter and went to the refrigerator to get a diet soda. "Hey Daria, you know we've got a substitute English teacher this week. He says he's a novelist, his name is Mr. Humbert...." (Daria/Lolita)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Daria pressed her eye to the door's keyhole - she could see one young man, dressed in an odd white suit, looking distressed. "Help, miss! Please open up, there's been a terrible accident!" (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Minx (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. As she came to, Daria became immediately became aware of two things; the rancid smell of stale vomit that infiltrated her nostrils, and the faint burning sensation in her wrists and ankles. She made a vain attempt to move her heavy head, but quickly came to the realization that she was trapped. Her head was held in place against the tall back of a hard wooden chair by two leather straps that ran the girth of her forehead and chin; likewise she found that her hands and feet had been shackled in a similar fashion. She pulled hard at her restraints and writhed in pain, as the burning in her limbs intensified. (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "What's YOUR name, scumbag?" "Uh, Kevin Thompson, sir!" (Daria/Full Metal Jacket)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): CHOP! (Daria/The Shining)
  

Where There's Smoke...

Monday again. Today marks the 10th anniversary of the MTV premiere of "Fire!" (probably named for Beavis's favorite saying). Much of the action took place at Le Grand Hotel in Lawndale. Some quotes from the episode, some of them clickable:

• "No, Eric, it's only one a.m. Of course you didn't wake me."
• "I can never forget that giant clog and what might have been."
• "How about Screecher II? I heard those blood-sucking eyeballs look really cool when they burst."
• "Is there really a secret underwater railroad smuggling flounder to freedom? Get on board the sole train, tonight on Sick, Sad World!"
• "Eeewwwwwww! You're making me nauseous!"
• "No, that was the maid. I think she got into the mini-bar. Hey, did I mention they have melba toast?"
• "The Fashion Club will be holding emergency meetings all week on faux-tanning lotions and I don't want you to do anything embarrassing, like show up."
• "Personally, I always had a soft spot for Stalin. Any dictator who changes his name from Dzhugashvili to "Man of Steel" has my vote, so to speak."
• "I can't know everything! I'm not my sister's beeper!"
• "When did I become a third wheel in my own relationship?"
• "You mean... I... almost... went out with... a computer geek?!"

There is a curious footnote about the episode, one of those parallel invention thingers between "Fire!" and the events in Kara Wild's "None in the Family," part 2. We celebrate the weirdness, too.

The CIA is [X] years old today, happy birthday to you. Two of the most famous movie directors of all time were also born on this date in history: Blake Edwards, noted for the Pink Panther series and Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Stanley Kubrick, noted for Dr. Strangelove, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Shining.

Awesome new art of the week: Daria and Trent Forever by breitasparrow. Yes!

FF.net

• Community Service, by ChilombiLite (COMPLETE!): So, first I had to actually agree to go on this date in the first place; I mean, Stan doesn't even have a car, let alone money to take me to Chez Pierre like any other popular guy, but he actually has the nerve to take me hiking? In the mountains! I can't believe this! I'm going to kill Sandy for talking me into this.
• If Nothing Else, by Puggles Master (Part 1): "My God, I can't believe Mary would wear her hair up, most definitely showing her plump-like face," Sandi Griffin droned on. Standing several people ahead of Quinn gave the former Fashion Club President some satisfaction, despite having to turn to observe any facial reaction expressed by Quinn. "Well, it is rather hot out, Sandi," Quinn half heartedly defended. Meekly, the redhead tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before quickly searching the crowd. Well, graduation hasn't quite started. I'm sure they're somewhere. Though Daria was a person almost impossible to miss in a crowd.
• The InDark, by Mediancat (Part 30): Patrice groaned in pain, weaponless, on the top of a building in Topeka. Her wrists were shattered, and so was her chance to kill this Slayer. She wasn't worried about her long-term prospects as a member of the Order; she'd had too many successes to have one failure, even a spectacular one as this, cost her everything. But the healing, the effort to get her out of jail, they would cost her. Her next few jobs would be reimbursed expenses only.
  

PPMB

• Close, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): It isn't really a bad day, just cloudy. Daria stood away from everyone else, looking at the sky. She was a little taller but still the same, although she was wearing black. Her second year in college and here she stood at a funeral. She felt strangely pacified by the breeze. She kept thinking about what people said. You two were so close. (FF.net)
  
• Daria Does Down Under! by TAG (COMPLETE!): [Too silly to sample, sorry.]
• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 5): "Dorian, I want to come, too," Quinn stated. "No, you stay here. Get warmed up by the fire and talk with your friends. We'll be back in no time." Dorian grabbed his backpack. He still had the Pop Tarts, another canteen, and a flashlight in it. Jane gave him a puzzled look. "With the way this trip is going so far, rather be safe than sorry," he grumbled.
• Daria Is Raven's Apprentice 2, by Project Pegasus (continued): "Wait, what?!"
• Driving a Pale Van, by McKeon (COMPLETE!): There was a dull thump as the Tank met the black-clad man. The brakes that he had been working hard gave way, and the black van rolled to a halt on the shoulder. Whoa. This could be trouble. It was about that time that the passenger door of the tank was opened, and a middle-aged woman entered and sat down in the passenger seat. "Excellent!" she stated with a smile. "You killed Death." (Daria/Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series)
• Finn Morgendorffer 54: On the Outside of Love, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Anyway," said Jane, "I was calling to tell you I won’t be coming home for spring break.” “Where are you going?” Trent asked. “My roommate, her boyfriend, and I are all going to France.” “France?” “I managed to get a trip. Kinda last minute, especially for going overseas, I know. Pretty cool, huh?” “Why are you going to France?” Trent asked. “I’m craving French bread.”
• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (Part 3): Daria looked up and saw Upchuck, the most annoying lech in school, heading through the forest on his own, with no way to dodge any fire in time. She grinned nastily. “You know, you’re right. This is great fun.” Bang. (FF.net)
  
• Judith Strikes! The Rise and Fall of D.D. Morgan and the Sanity Assassins, by Brian Taylor (Parts 2 and 3): "From looking at your history, you appear to be what we'd call a solitary kid. Is that fair to say?" "From looking at your tie, you appear to be an idiot. Is that fair to say?" (Part 3)
  
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Parts 6 and 7): The road before her stretched endlessly in two directions. Jane sat on the bench. She looked at what appeared to be an oversized laptop's screen. The grey-eyed man who was sitting beside her remained silent. She sat back rubbing her eyes. She turned to him and watched as his face remained expressionless. He pressed the pause button. "So, you are telling me this is what is going to happen when I wake up?" (Part 7)
• Lemon Parade, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): The little girl clambered up the stepping stool and quickly took stock of everything sitting on the counter. She checked, double-checked, and triple-checked, spending more time than she knew was necessary, but the exact right amount of time that she felt was necessary. Everything had to be perfect. Everything had to be right. She was going to have the best lemonade stand ever. (FF.net)
  
• Look! Up in the Sky! by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Quinn hugged her friend as Sandi wept. "What the hell is this all about?" she wondered. Her gaze fell upon the envelope on Sandi's bed. BALTIMORE MERCY HOSPITAL, Juvenile Oncology Department. You know how you can be watching Wheel of Fortune and with only one letter on the board YOU KNOW what the phrase is? Yeah. That. How the heck does that happen? Quinn KNEW what this was all about.
• Politricks Are Not for Kids, by Brian Taylor (Part 7): "Joining us now to tell us more about the aftermath of the Employment Recovery Act is Jane Lane, Deputy Chief of Staff of the Sloane White House. Jane, it's a pleasure to have you." "Yo." "So, my first question" "I'd have to say that I would personally stuff a live hand grenade down the Russian prime minister's pants for a Klondike Bar." "Cute." "I really am, aren't I?"
  
• Pulp Fiction, by Chris Tucker (preview): Daria interrupted her friend. "I disagree, Jane. We're more Marvin and Wendy, actually. Waiting for the Super Friends to show up and rescue us. They'd send one of the really lame Friends, like Apache Chief, for Marvin and Wendy." "Yeah! Or Aquaman! The bastards!"
• Surprise! by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "BEST part of the job!" he said to no one in particular as he suited up before entering isolation. "Good news, everybody! Daria, the transplant from Quinn took. You're making cells on your own! Oh, and you might like to know. You're in remission."
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (Part 7): "Tom and I have been... sleeping together... for a couple of months now," Daria said. "As usual, it happened completely by accident." "You're very accident prone around him," Jane said, in an even dryer tone.
• Uncle Anthony's Happy-Fun Esteem Class, by Charles RB (Part 1): "EsTEEM. A TEEN. They don't REALLY rhyme, DO they?" DeMartino barked out every word with loathing, not even trying to sound like he wasn't reading from notes. Daria wasn't sure what she'd expected from self esteem class, but this was preferable either way. "But we are HERE to beGIN realizing your ACTUALITY... Hrrrr. WHAT, Ms. MorgenDORFFER?" "I want to know what 'realizing your actuality' means." There was a long, long pause. "CHRIST on a BIKE, I don't know!"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): “In this class,” the teacher growled as he stormed into the room, “there will be no silly phrases or nonsense about how the world would be a worse place without you in it.” Pulling a piece of wood from inside the black robes he wore, he waved it and the windows went dark. (Daria/Harry Potter)
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Dinner had been rudely interrupted by Ms. Li's call. According to Ms. Li, Daria had failed the psychological exam administered to new students at Lawndale High School. "Is she going to have, like, a breakdown or something?" Quinn asked, "'cause that could really mess me up with my new friends!" "Don't worry," said Daria. "I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake." "I'll say!" said Jake, glad that his daughter was being self-affirming for once. "I have low esteem for everyone else," was Daria's calm reply, which brought dinner conversation to a halt.
• What a Rip Off! by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Daria, good news! Gotta wait and see, but it looks like we're going to kick you out of here in a another week or so." "Thanks. Thanks for nothing, Mac!" "Aaaa... What was that?" "Superpowers! Where are my superpowers? All that atomic energy and all I have is a sunburn on my butt."
  
  

The Search for a Cuteness Gene Goes On

The first-ever "test-tube baby," Louise Brown, celebrates her 32nd birthday today. Dr. Quinn "Medicine Fashionista" Morgendorffer (left) is still researching ways to make sure she doesn't ever have an ugly baby.

This is Commonwealth Constitution Day in Puerto Rico, and in the USA it is National Hot Fudge Sundae Day. All other nations are encouraged to celebrate this food holiday as well.

The first woman to walk in space did so this date 36 years ago. Congratulations, Svetlana Savitskaya! She is certainly a busy woman.

Sorry for being late, had a lot going on. Moar l8r.

Another Thing To Celebrate Today

Today is National Tequila Day.

So get yourself some tequila, lime and salt and head to some place sunny. For best results, make sure it also has a beach.

(Besides, it gave me an excuse to use the picture)

Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Erin

Today for some reason is also Cousins Day, which I don't think Daria and Quinn celebrate given what they are stuck with for a cousin. Poor Erin. Hmm, guess redheads run in the family. Cool.

It is also the National Day of the Cowboy, such as Travis the Singing Hitchhiker at right. Plenty of reasons to party today with your Daria fan friends. Go and do.

Birthdays Everywhere!

An interesting and historic day this is. We today celebrate the birthdays and birthday anniversaries of:

• pioneer aviator Amelia Earhart (Quinn at left)
• Congressman and feminist Bella Abzug (Daria at right... anyone remember the ERA?)
• South American freedom-fighter Simón Bolívar
• writer Zelda Fitzgerald (mentioned by Daria in "Depth Takes a Holiday")
• fantasy writer Lord Dunsany, who has had an immense impact on fantasy writing and writers to the present day
  
• Warner Brothers cartoon icon Marvin the Martian
• and Cape Canaveral, the USA's most important spaceport.

TV Guide did a thumbnail synopsis of "Speedtrapped" 11 years ago today, too.

More soon. Stay tooned.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 4): "What's wrong?" Jane asked. "We need to get moving and fast if we want to get to camp before the weather gets bad." Ms. Li turned to Dorian. "Don't worry, we'll reach base camp soon as long as there are no more surprises." That was when Dorian felt the first few flakes of snow fall on his face.

King of the Seas

Happy Neptunalia to all fans of the Roman Empire out there. Mack appears as Neptune courtesy of MTV art staff (sent to us by renown superfan Pinhead). Today begins Neptunalia, as it were. By odd coincidence, this date also marks the beginning of a strange sea voyage in one Daria fanfic.

This is also a historic birthday date, and I will let you guess who was born today who also made it into the ranks of Daria alter ego artwork. Oh, boy.

And, this day marks one of the strangest and most harrowing aircraft flights of the modern era. Twenty-seven years ago, an Air Canadian passenger jet unexpectedly ran out of fuel and was forced to glide to an emergency landing. As it happened, the pilot was a glider pilot and knew exactly what to do to land safely. A brilliant feat of flying, indeed. Enjoy the TV documentary on YouTube. (Any fanfic ideas from this?)

Moar l8r. Okay, it's l8r now. And if you want to read something good about Daria online, try this. Thanks to InvisibleDan for finding this.

PPMB

• The Continuing Adventures of an ANGRY!!! Young Man, by Charles RB (Part 4): The third date with Claire would be to the cinema. Unfortunately, the chances of Claire liking Valley Forge Massacre—said to be the most violent ‘Nam film ever!—was going to be remote, so Anthony decided to take her to the new chick-flick romcom East Fulham. He HATED chick-flick romcoms. But you made sacrifices for love.
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): Anthony opened his mouth to speak, but the 'bot cut him off with a wave of its hand. "Hold that thought!" not-O'Neill said. "I've found that it's far more difficult to get other members of the opposing team to agree to their own deals with the devil if one of their number has already turned me down. So! Miss Burns, what do you say to—" "You talk too much," Burnout said.
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 54: On the Outside of Love, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “You know, I really like your idea of recompense. You can miss any prom or dance or anything you want.” Finn was out of breath, naked in his bed, as Sierra was dressing. “Cool your heels, hotshot,” Sierra returned. “It loses its appeal when it happens all the time.” “Speak for yourself,” Finn returned.
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 46): "Ms. Morgendorffer, Ms. Timothy," Morioka said, singling out Daria and another student. "You two'll be wearing that hair of yours tied behind your back. I'd hate to see either of you hoisted like the Wicked Witch over the stage because one of you got her hair caught in the gears." She turned her attention to the others. "You have to learn every aspect of the stage, and you're going to get a crash course in shop safety and that means power tools."
• Judith Strikes! Lunch, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): Reiko frowned. "What? I'm the Senior Guide for that Cluster. You can't pull me now! The only other Guides available are Nabiki and Gosunkugi, and Gosunkugi has his duties split between the Cluster and the Collective." "We know, and we wouldn't pull you otherwise, except that there's an emergency in the Lawndale Cluster," Lazlo replied. Reiko rolled her eyes. "Oh come ON. The Lawndale Cluster has tons of reality defenders inherent there as it is. Any damage done is usually fixed by the Agency anyway. What's so important that the normal Guides for that Cluster can't possibly—" "The locket's in the Lawndale Cluster."
• Judith Strikes! Rest Stop, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “So... have you come to kill me?” Judith lifted her head as she untangled herself from her red cloak, and saw the hated image of one of her doppelgangers raise up from the bed where she lay in shadows, and thin beams of bluish-white moonlight. “Yeah,” Judith breathed out, slow and angry. “Pretty much.”
• NEW! Judith Strikes! The Rise and Fall of D.D. Morgan and the Sanity Assassins, by Brian Taylor (Part 1): You've seen the video by now, haven't you? The one filmed during her final concert? Of course you have. Sure, you can lie about it. You can say you don't want to see anything like it. It offends your sensibilities. You never liked her music, anyway, you say during parties, eyes darting furtively over to the CD cabinet just to make sure nobody catches you in the lie. But then, you said the same thing about the Zapruder film, and how many times have you seen Kennedy's dying moments? Head goes forward. Head goes back. Lights go out. This is the same thing. Why deny it?
  
• Judith Strikes! You'll Never Walk Alone, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The Lawndale Lions was about to play Fielding with a 2000-strong audience, and no one official had spotted her placing agents & conning patsies through the stadium. Judith was having a good day. She began to slip out, heading for the exit (she didn’t want to be seen around when the fuzz cracked down), but she made sure she’d see the chaos that would erupt in the next twenty seconds. Ah, Fielding. Tom’s school. They had this coming. “Five... four... three... two... one...”
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Parts 4 and 5): A couple of hours later, Jane woke back up. She was feeling physically better, but mentally and emotionally she was still suffering. She tried to survey the room without hurting her neck. She froze when she saw a taller, skinnier version of Daria staring at her from Daria's side of the room. A smile came over the woman's face as she walked toward Jane. "Ahh, I'm glad to see my favorite niece is up. How are you feeling?" "Hi, Aunt Amy." How do I know this woman's name? I've never heard Daria mention her before? Could it be I am a Morgendorffer, but Daria looks just like her. (Part 5)
• NEW! Night Time Is the Right Time, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Swell. I'm naked in the middle of nowhere. Again. I hate this nightmare. Show yourself and lets get this over with so I can wake up screaming and get everyone in the house all freaked out yet again." The gray skies. The featureless plain. Not a single herd of beautiful wild ponies running free to be seen anywhere. "This place sucks." [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]
• Pulp Fiction, by Chris Tucker (Prologue, Parts 1 and 2 and 3): "OK, what makes you think I'm intelligent?" "'Ah, Watson. You see, but you do not observe!' The bookbag is from the Raft student co op. The modestly sized school crest is embroidered upon it. Your polo shirt is also from the co op. I see the collar where it peeps out from the neck of your sweater. A unique shade only available at Raft. Part of the school colors. Further, your bag is obviously stuffed with textbooks. Finally, Raft only accepts the cream of the crop of applications. There are NO stupid people at Raft. Ergo, you are intelligent! And as for being pretty, that's written all over your face. I take it you don't own a mirror. Oh, I hope you're not a vampire. Miserable things, vampires. The very devil to get rid of, you know!" By now, she was laughing out loud. "My name is James Clark Wilder V... and you are...?" "Um, Daria Morgendorffer." (early version of Prologue) (Prologue) (Part 2) (NEW! Part 3) (Daria/Doc Savage)
• Unnamed story, by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): Jane scowled at Alison as she tried to slip around her to the door. When Alison stepped in front of her, the younger woman gritted her teeth and growled, “Alison, I like guys. Now get out of my way.” “Yeah, you like guys and hanging out with bisexuals in their bedrooms.” The smirk returned, “Hey, I even bought you dinner.” “Dinner was settling a bet. And I didn’t know you were bi.” “Sure you didn’t. Sorry, baby, but I never hit on straight chicks.” “I’m not interested in women. Now let me out of here.” “You mean you're not ready to admit it.” She leaned forward, “That’s okay. I’d be happy to —” anything else she was going to say was cut off as Jane, freaked out that Alison had leaned in too close, shoved her. To the surprise of both, Alison was sent flying back into the door, only to have the hinges give way and deposit Alison into the yard on a door that skidded for at least five yards.
• NEWER! Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Professor Daniels asked me to double-check his translation of the Latin inscription." "Busy work? From what you mentioned, he's a gifted linguist." "A joke. He knows the language a hell of a lot better than I do. Anyway, it was still fun." "So what did it say?" "Basically, 'Here Lies Jupiter. Do not open.'" "Jupiter's coffin?" "Like I said, a joke." "Not really," another voice said from the other end of the room. (Daria/Stargate)
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): In the cold grey shadows of the dimly lit street stood a great locked wooden gate carved with numerous cryptic glyphs worn smooth by the casual touch of impious hands over the centuries. Trembling, Stacy approached the door and reached for the door knocker. As she touched the bronze ring, the central panel of the door suddenly lit up its carvings with a bright yellow light. Then it appeared to ooze streaks of tar-like red blood as a primitive intercom buzzed and crackled while a suave voice gave her a message: "I'm sorry, but we're celebrating a murder right now. You'll have to come back later."
• NEWER! Two Halves 6: Role Models, by Dark Kuno (Part 3): “Why would the school need bulletproof skylights?” asked Jake as he gave his eldest children a quizzical look from across the kitchen table. “Because the pigeons have upgraded to the heavy duty munitions,” returned Alex. “Pigeons? Damned lousy rats with wings! Every time you wash your car...” Jake began to mutter angrily.
  
• We're 700 miles from Chicago. It's 6 in the morning. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of gum and we're both wearing bowling shirts! by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Anthony DeMartino found Jane Lane in his empty classroom. That was the first surprise. The second surprise was that the usually unflappable Ms. Lane was crying her eyes out. He knew Lane was Morgendorffer's best friend. And he suspected that the reason this poor child was crying had something to do with her friend's illness. OK, Tony. Low key. Don't scare her. Softly: "Ms. Lane?" [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]

Rats in the Medicine Cabinet, Dogs in Space

Hooray, it's Ratcatcher's Day! Well, it's either today or June 22nd, whatever. It's a long story that involves the Pied Piper of Hamlin, who probably didn't exist anyway, so who knows.

Rats had their own Sick, Sad World spot in Is It Fall Yet? ("Are drug-crazed rodents raiding your child's medicine cabinet?"), so a Pied Piper would be welcome in Lawndale. Or is that Ratboy's job?

The first dogs to reach outer space did so 59 years ago today, climbing to an altitude of 110 miles by rocket. They survived, and one later became the pet of a Soviet physicist.

Junk Is Meant to Be Eaten

Not only is today National Junk Food Day, certainly beloved of Our Heroine Jane and her sidekick Daria, but it is also a double Daria episode anniversary. The last episode of the first season, "The Misery Chick," and the third-season episode "Jake of Hearts" both premiered on this date 13 and 11 years ago, respectively.

Today is Racial Harmony Day in Singapore, and we give them our best. Marshall McLuhan, who studied the development of mass media and coined the term "global village," was born this day 99 years ago.

And now for the news.

No0OZ!

• Daria appeared on the cover of AM New York recently and was there discovered by Chris Tucker, who announced it on PPMB with help from Jim North.
• Check out the Daria motivational posters, courtesy of NoName999. NEW! Even more motivational posters are being posted from assorted contributors! Party on!
  
• The Daria forum on Television Without Pity is now up to 55 pages. Awesome. Join the talk.
• NEW! Nu art: "South Park Daria," by GlitterShrooms; "Daria Is the Word," byDestiny18au.
• NEW! Charles RB brings to PPMB a new thread for fannish infighting: Upchuck: Threat or Menace?
• MUCH NEWER! Wraith's Sick, Sad World website has updated!
• MUCH MUCH NEWER! Kristen Bealer has discovered the ultimate home for bibliophiles like us Daria fans. Oh. My. Gawd....
  

FF.net

• MUCH NEWER! The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 28 and 29): Mrs. Kruger seethed, but inwardly realized she had no choice. Though she was chafing to get another shot at killing Daria Morgendorffer, she could dematerialize; she was not a teleporter and had to get to Salt Lake City the old fashioned way. Salt Lake City? she'd asked in disbelief, as though no one ever got assassinated in Utah.

PPMB

• NEW! And the Number One Top-Ten Reason to Love the Telephone, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "The transplant took. She's making new blood cells on her own... No, don't thank me. It's her. She should have died several times... Slowly. Very slowly. She doesn't have a lot to work with right now." [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]
  
• NEW! Bedside Consultation, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "So, how are you feeling today?" Words do not exist, she wrote. "Yeah, it's rough. But, really, you are doing well. You're losing weight, to be expected, but not as fast as you could be. That's good. It shows you're absorbing nourishment, no matter how fast you're voiding it. No sign of infection at the feeding tube site, I see. Any pain at the site... well, any pain other than the usual?" [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]
• NEW! Daria and Trent Forever, by Malakite (Part 3): Jane herself couldn't quite believe what she was doing, to the extent that she was thinking about it at all. Making eyes at and chatting up her best friend's dad while her best friend was sitting right there, interjecting the occasional snide double entendre, was really not how she had planned to spend her time here.
  
• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 2): Dorian flipped through the book. He choose a heavy jacket, first-aid kit, and a new sleeping bag. He would let Jane use it and if he could fit into his old one. He knew hers was not in good condition, especially if the weather became bad. He gave the catalog to his mom. Helen placed the order for overnight delivery. "Hey, Dad, can I borrow your camping backpack?" Dorian asked as he shut off the television. "Sure thing, kiddo. It's in the garage." Dorian headed for the garage, pulled out the oversized backpack, and went to his room. He leaned it against his desk while he made a short checklist of what he wanted to put in it. Rather be safe than sorry. Who knows what Ms. Li has got planned. A few minutes later, he heard a knock on his door. He opened it. Quinn and Jane came into the room. They looked at the backpack. "See, I told you he went off the deep end," Quinn smirked. (Part 3)
  

• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): Jane tried to stand up, but her muscles didn't want to listen to her. She wibbled, she wobbled, but she couldn't get up. Consciousness decided to ditch her for a few seconds, leaving her back on the ground to start all over again. And start all over she did. She had to stand, had to help. "Now that was just STUPID, now WASN'T it, Miss Lane? JUST what I would EXPECT from a sidekick!" That voice, that hated voice! Jane gritted her teeth, pushed herself up with all her might, and punched DeMartino in the leg.
• Finn Morgendorffer 53: Purely Magnetic, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 5, 6, and 7): “Actually, I was planning a trip down.” Jane informed him. “Daria and I are coming down for a weekend.” “Really? Well, that’s nice. Would be nice to see you again. What weekend?” “Prom weekend.” “Oh!” Finn tried not to sound overjoyed that he would at least have someone to hang out with. “Why’s that?” “No reason.” Jane was as hard to read as always. “You’ve got a reason. Tell me.” “A Jane reason.” Jane replied evasively. (Part 6) (Part 7)
  
• LAST CALL NEWESTER! First Born, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): At the Birthing Center, they found the medic and the ambulance driver in the waiting room. The nurse at the duty station said, "Friends of the Adlers?" "Yes," Daria said. Jane said, "The military escort tipped you off." The nurse chuckled. "That, and Mrs. Adler is the only woman in labor." "Ah," Jane said. "That too." (Last part) (FF.net)
  
• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (part 2): Jane was the best artist in school and had a rapport with art teacher Miss Defoe—both of which meant Jane felt compelled to enter the contest. She’d been grouchy until she’d realized her painting could show student life sucked. “Yes,” said Daria. “Got any ideas of what I can do?” “No.” “Come on, you’re the most negative person I know.” “A photo of Kevin and Brittany, and the words ‘America’s Future’.” “That’s too negative.” (FF.net)
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 45): Sue smiled, fairly satisfied with Misha's effort and her own finishing touches. "I'm coming back with blood, Misha. With blood!" "Good luck!" Sue marched out of the bathroom. Elsie Sloane, if you're wrong about this, I'm going to make the rest of the year a nightmare for you.
• Judith Strikes! The Best Halloween Ever! by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): The young woman known as Judith barely had time to scream as Daria Morgendorffer’s spring-loaded bed flipped over, around on one side, and smacked her face-first into a padded wall in the blink of an eye! “GAH—!” Judith choked out, as the bed fell away from her. “DA—” The curse was choked away as the bed slammed back into her, driving her back into the wall! “You little bi—” The bed struck again with a room-rattling WHAM! “I’m gonna ki—” WHAM! “You’re gonna pay—” WHAM!
• NEW! Kabti-Ilani-Marduk, by Malakite (Part 5): Daria giggled a little at the face her Dad was making.Then she leapt toward him and wrapped her arms around him. This caused the boat to rock back and forth gently as he told her how wonderful she was and how she was his favorite in that warm soothing voice. It was a paradise on a beautiful lake under a perfect sky. She purred gently as she buried her head in his chest. Then there was a horrible piercing crack of thunder and Daria lept up...
  
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 2): We were on our way back to the school to destroy our poster. I remember heading out the front door saying, "I call shotgun." Daria turned to me, "Fine, but I claim it for the trip back." Trent was leaning against the front of the car. He had a small grin on his face. "I see Janey beat you again at shotgun, Dee." Jane's brow creased. I don't ever recall Trent having a pet name for Daria. Jane began to think about the conversation they had in the car. Daria was never this talkative around Trent. Even as we were getting out of the car, after I warned him to go park, Daria playfully slapped his arm and made a 'you better stay awake' gesture. He nodded and let out a slight laugh. Another look of confusion fell over Jane's face. I don't get it. Daria would never touch Trent much less slap him. I need answers and the two people I feel will give me straight answers can't. One is not here and the other is unconscious. Jane let out a long, frustrated sigh.
• MOST NEWESTER! My Heart Is Going Boom Boom Boom! by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Jake! How're you doing? The flight was OK? No trouble getting a cab?" "No, no. Everything went well." "Good. So, we'll be officially discharging Daria in about 30 minutes. Paperwork, you know. So. She's in remission. She's not cured. We never use that word with cancer. But the prognosis is damned good." Mac watched Jake carefully. This is usually when they lose it. Hang in there, Jake, she needs father to be strong for her right now! [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]
• NEW! Pizza Run, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "You know, when that favor is called in, it's going to be a whopper!" "Probably involving shovels, the dead of night and a convincing alibi about the sudden disappearance of Sandi." (MUCH MUCH NEWER! Part 2) [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]
  

• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 18): "And while we're on the subject, what about the way you'd always be busting on Tom?" "What the hell're you talking about?" "It's a bone I've been meaning to pick, Daria. I thought you gave him so much shit about his money and his parents' connections while you two were dating. Okay, granted me and Tom were having problems before we stopped seeing each other, but I never had a problem with his money. I think if anyone had a right to feel resentful, it would have been me. He was even kind enough to get his folks to write a letter to Bromwell to try to get you off the waiting list. I didn't say it at the time, but I thought you were being an ass, being all resentful like that. He wasn't doing that because he was showing off or doing it as an act of charity. He did it because he loved you and he wanted you to be with him. Is that so freaking hard to understand?"
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (Parts 5 and 6): Tom glanced up, relief flickering across his face before fading back to worry. "Thanks for not locking the door," Daria said dryly, glancing around the living room. "Where's Jane?" "In her room," Tom said. "Probably still crying." "Oh." Daria stood quietly for a moment, fidgeting and watching Tom as he stared silently into the playpen. "What are you doing?" "I decided to spend some time with the only women in this house that don't hate me," he answered quietly. (Part 6)
• Who's the Bitch Now? by Chris Tucker (Parts 1 and 2 and 3): Seven months before graduation, the Season of Hell began very simply: "Where the hell did THAT come from?" she thought, as she was taking her morning shower. Yes, it was a lump in her breast. Yes, the biopsy indicated cancer, and malignant. And NOT the usual type of breast cancer. The next day, the doctor gave the family the bad news. All Daria could recall were the words "Cancer," "VERY aggressive," "Begin treatments NOW!" and "Chicago hospital." (Part 2) (LAST CALL NEWESTER! Part 3) [Part of the "Season in Hell" series]
• Unnamed story, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): The two women watched the amazing images on the TV. "You know, we can say we knew her 20 years ago, when she was just another high school student."