Hawaii and Harry

Happy Hawaiian Flag Day! Stacy is celebrating in the traditional fashion on the right. Today is also J.K. Rowling's birthday, and the well-known Harry Potter author is turning 46 today. There's an awful lot of Daria/Harry Potter fanfic out there, so many that I'd probably never successfully list them all. If you've written one, or have a favorite, post it in the comments!

Fandom News!

• A new thread invites everyone to show off their accents!


• Could Daria be making a comeback? Share your thoughts, hopes, and fears for the possible return of the show.


• Is Amelia Stacy? Charles RB raises an interesting argument.


• Stacy is having a baby! Well...sort of.


• A trailer has been posted for Battleship, the movie, but don't get your hopes up.


• getrealordie187 has a question about Evan from "See Jane Run."


• RX-87 posted a new Iron Chef: Poly Wolly Doodle All Day.

"If I don't come back, remember to take the plastic lid off the lasagna if you cook it in a conventional oven."

Depending on which source you follow, either today is or yesterday was National Lasagna Day! I suppose that for the Morgendorffers, every day is National Lasagna Day, but the rest of us can/did celebrate with a delicious slice of (hopefully non-frozen) lasagna.

Of course, according to the 1998 "Daria Day" Marathon, what the Morgendorffers almost constantly have for dinner isn't actually lasagna. "Those are actually concentrated protein and starch nutrition squares. You see, as two dimensional cartoon characters, we have very fragile digestive systems and need to take nourishment in this manner."

So enjoy your concentrated protein and starch nutrition squares as well as this fanfic update!

• As in French (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria was silent for a moment, then smiled saucily and took a step forward. Jane blinked in astonishment as Daria swung her hips seductively, catching and keeping Tommy's attention with no visual effort. 'I know a party we could go to,' she crooned, wetting her lips with the tip of her pink tongue. Tommy mimicked her action unconsciously. 'Right. Now.'"


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 8): "'...Jane, it's like nothing I've ever experienced. I made something solid, real. Something that has the potential to be around decades, centuries, after I die. I think I understand why you paint and sculpt, why you get so much more out of creation than I do with writing. That... that physical act of creating something tangible.'"


• Connections (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'All right. Make me laugh.' 'I wouldn’t waste jokes on you, Daria. The bird out on the statue has a better sense of humor.' The accusing eyes from across the rook locked on Tom, and he idly wondered why a ‘missile warning’ sound hadn’t just kicked on in the back of his thoughts. "


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "One Monday forenoon, in December I think, Ms. Li asked me to come over for a talk. I was particularly in blue, thinking of the menacing presence of Trent. I was in my study, looking at the snowfall, the first time in my life I saw snow, knowing that at the same moment, far away in the South, a tender and vigorous sun was rising over Don Orione. Da's last report had been good, I knew. But instead of contenting myself with the reality, I imagined all sort of horrors and had to fortify myself with a pint of mimosa before I could face the interview. Slowly, all Adam's apple and heart, I went up to the guillotine."


• God Save The Esteem 33: A Headbutt of Dollars, by Charles RB (part 2): "'If he stays in jail too long, he’ll force them to put him on trial.' Daria sighed. 'I’ll be right there. And make sure he doesn’t use his one phone call.' There was a suspicious silence. 'He’s used it, hasn’t he.' The lounge window shattered as Quinn and Death Rowe came through it (Quinn had misplaced her keys). 'YOU GET THE BOTTLES, I’LL GET THE CAR KEYS-'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 14): "'Yeah, it...' Daria couldn't keep her walls up any longer. Impulsively, she grabbed Jane and hugged her tightly. 'Dammit, Jane. I was so fucking scared. I thought for a minute you were...' her voice broke a little, but she never quite sobbed. She did, however, leave a few tears of joy on her dear friend's top, despite herself. Jane hugged Daria back, speaking gently into her ear."


• Never Been Born (Iron Chef: Mr. O'Neil gets fired), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "The cheery man with the salmon shirt was taken aback for but a moment. 'Yes,' he said with a vague gesture at the student. 'Um... you.' Daria heard the nerd behind her come to his feet, desk squeaking. Five. Four. 'Is that if we'd never been born,' said the nerd in that awful voice, 'or if we died suddenly and unexpectedly?'"


• Rude Awakening Ep. 7: Don't Sign Me Up!, by DIsaac (part 7): "SANDI ( Looking shelled shocked): Those little bastards - they just kept coming. They are pure evil with their beady little eyes just looking at you. DANI (Equally shell-shocked): Sandi, you are so right and I take back my 'squirrels are evil' statement. Kids are Evil! Pure unadulterated evil I tell you! STACY (Just smiling at them): I thought those kids were awesome."


• Snow White (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by untra (COMPLETE!): "It was a terribly gross bathroom. Graffiti covered the walls, the stalls stank of urine and on the floor was a used tampon, laying haphazardly against the trashcan it was aimed at. But that's not what caught Daria's attention. Rather, it was the black haired girl standing over the sink. From the looks of it, black was not her natural color, because what looked and smelled like glossy shoe polish expressed itself from her hair."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane lounged about her living room. Daria laid on the couch rubbed her rumbling stomach waiting for Tom to arrive home with the pizza. 'Daria' Jane said softly, 'I have a confession it involves Tom'. Daria bolted up into sitting position. 'These have never gone well...' She let out a long sigh a jab in her stomach reminding her again about food. 'Might as well get it over with.'"


• Why Do Jane Hates Bananas? (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "DARIA: Reason I'm even mention this. So Lane - the floor is yours. Why do you hates bananas? JANE: This goes back to Tommy Sherman."

First Ladies and Road Trips

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was born on this day in 1929. A somewhat minor reference to her was made in canon, when Jane refers to Quinn in her scarf-and-sunglasses disguise as "Quinnie O." This alluded to "Jackie O's" frequent mode of dress after her marriage to Aristotle Onassis.

TAG has pointed out before how the outfit Stacy is wearing in her alter ego is the same one the former First Lady was wearing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated, which is...odd.

Today is also the day that the episode "Speedtrapped" first aired in 1999. The Spiral did some time in the joint as "criminales," Quinn revealed her hidden talent at driving, and Daria developed a taste for country music. I'm always amused by that fake bump right after Daria suspects Travis of stealing their money, but then again I'm usually easily amused anyway.

Fandom News!

• Deref has posted stories and photos from his visit to Canada.


• Fans are discussing recent news related to NFL Football.


• A new general-purpose science story thread, Science: It works, has been started in the General Forum.


• LadieT shared a movie her niece and her niece's cousin made in film class.


• Arena del Sur has a question about Lawndale High's study hall.


• Discuss the comic book storyline Captain Britain and MI-13 in the thread.


• The Angst Guy started a new thread for plot bunnies.


• RX-87 posted a new Iron Chef: Name that Backgrounder!


• The Angst Guy has thrown down The Penny Lane Challenge in The Easel.

Ready...Aim....

Eleven years ago today, the episode Fire! first aired. Jake almost burned down the Morgendorffer house and the Daria/Tom/Jane triangle (pauses for booing and thrown vegetables) took another step forward. We also got to meet Bobby, Quinn's would-be computer geek/stalker, and hear the immortal line: "He's not a stalker, he's just enthusiastic!"

In my opinion, not enough has been done with Bobby's character. Was Quinn right or was he truly dangerous? Could he have tried this stunt with other girls in Lawndale, or out-of-town visitors? Will his computer hacking skills one day allow him to rise up as leader of the whole world, ruling with an iron fist and those cute little plastic sandals you get in the spa that massage your feet when you walk?

Could be worth a thought, anyway.

Fanfic Update!

• 12-Step Lawyers (Iron Chef: Eric's an okay guy?), by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): "She found something very interesting in the top drawer of his desk, the one he said he never used "because the damn drawer kept sticking." A bit of force, and a nail file, took care of that pretty easily, but just before she had opened it, she noticed many scratch marks on the otherwise pristine wooden desk just above that stuck drawer. Eric may not have used a nail file, but he certainly opened and re-opened that stuck drawer a number of times."


• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (part 19): "Scarlett gasped as her face paled and Roger looked at her. 'What?' he asked. 'Someone's outside the door,' she said. 'I hear them,' he said. 'They're just going by, that's all.' 'No!' The teen's protest startled him into silence. 'They're going to try and force us to open the door!'"


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: I know what you're trying to do, Starfire, but you have to consider the differences between you and me. I am half demon; you aren't. Maybe someone in Hell did possess my body. I'm sure there is a spell for that, though the caster would have to be extremely powerful to both cast the spell and leave my memory spotless."


• Dark Future: Road Worrier, by Charles RB (part 3): "Todd and Cobb would lead from the front when there was money involved (and so Todd could have the fun of bumping her off), so that was both gangs decapitated and soon to be in disarray and fighting each other. By the time either came looking for vengeance, she'd be out of their reach. 'Daria, I...' Her mother had wanted to morally object all day, as soon as they had the money. 'This was a really vicious and amoral plan-' 'Well, yeah, I wanted a plan that would work.'"


• God Save The Esteem 33: A Headbutt of Dollars, by Charles RB (part 1): "The time was reached; eyes locked, Daria went for her metaphorical guns. The literal enemy, the dreaded parking space between two other cars, struck back with its crampedness, but she struck first. She parallel parked the shit out of it."


• It's True Love (Iron Chef: The Prank Proposal), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "As the two left the theater and where greeted by Jane snickering although she quickly stopped when she saw them.. Daria watched as Tom excitingly told Jane who was barely keeping a straight face."


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "At lunch; Stacy crept along the corridors. She found her destination. The room where the Anime Club usually met after school. She looked around to ensure that no one in the Fashion Club, or any other popular clique was nearby. She saw no one (or any security cameras), so she opened the door and slipped inside."


• The Planning of a Prank (Iron Chef: The Prank Proposal), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "TOM: I can't figure out why they want us at the game tonight. SANDI: I'll take the free tickets any day, TOM: From Dani? SANDI: You are right about that one. PA ANNOUNCER: We have very special message on the scoreboard."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 48): "'I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it all, Daria.' Jane's veneer of worldliness was gone, now her bright blue eyes were wide open and betrayed excitement. 'Look at me, I'm still gushing. Jeezus, I could kick myself for applying late to BFAC. I could be doing all this really cool stuff with you instead of waiting on tables.'"


• Reasons (Iron Chef: Defenestration!), by untra (COMPLETE!): "These were the last thoughts to go through Kevin Thompson's head before he shot through the windshield of his dad's Porsche:"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'O.K., But Amelia?! last time I saw her, she was certainly able to see.' 'She went blind the night you became a Sōzōshin.' 'You mean... Wait a minute. She's not just a Lucid Dreamrunner?' 'Definitely a prophet. With classic Tiresias Effect, as well. She now sees with her mind, not with her eyes. And she knows You're responsible. Plus, she's already changed sex three times.'" (New part)


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 2): "Holiday travel is rarely fun and as Daria and Michael learned, travel to popular destination states can make things even more of a challenge. The overnight flights were long, crowded and the layover boring. Sleep was poor and fitful, providing little rest. But finally, it was morning and they had arrived at Jacksonville International Airport."


• The True Hollywood Story of Daria Morgendorffer, by DIsaac (part 9): "Mack: I studied that tape and I know who leaked it. Producer (to Mack): You studied it? Mack: I'm a certified pornologist. I have hours of studies under my belt. I know for a fact it was Stacy that leaked it because she wanted more lines. Plus out of the four she was the one you want to do it with."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Defenestration!), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "As he tried to fight the terror of being in a free fall mixed with the pain caused by having gone through a very solid hard and sharp window glass, Charles Ruttheimer III wondered...."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mr. O'Neil gets fired), by Roentgen: "The new instructor stepped forward. He actually looked like a normal person. He was dressed well, and good looking, and clearly at ease in a classroom. 'Hi, everyone. I'm going to be taking over for your former instructor. Now, I know that there was assigned reading that he had planned for you, but I'm going to tell you - throw it out! We're going to start all over!'" (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Upchuck! You're my hero! I must reward you in the ways that only a woman can! C'mere, Stud-mufin!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, no...' she muttered to herself. 'Welcome back,' came the familiar voice from the terminal ahead of her. 'He didn't.'"

Just Can't Get Enough of Those Random Holidays!

Happy Thread the Needle Day, everyone! Jake would like to request everyone's assistance, but look out for that pissed-off camel.

I'm trying to imagine what Holiday Island's version of Thread the Needle Day would be like. Probably really, really interested in sewing.

Fandom News!

• Ranger Thorne has a request about the PPMB and social media site links.


• Couldn't make it to the Boston Daria Con? Live it vicariously through the stories, pictures, and much more!


• News and condolences are being shared about the Oslo explosion(s) and shooting.


• HolyGrail2007 muses about redemption and fanworks.


• Share your thoughts about the new movie Captain America: The First Avenger and the TV series Torchwood: Miracle Day.


• Two new Iron Chefs posted in the Creative Writing forum: Vukodlak's The Prank Proposal and Ms. Kinnikufan's Mr. O'Neil gets fired.

"How does hot dog jalapeno hotties sound for tonight?"

Today is National Hot Dog Day! Today would be a great day to order that crate of bulk rate hot dogs you've been wanting, so go to town and remember to save some for the Hot Diggity Dog Eating Contest. My money is on Mr. DeMartino. Look at him; you can tell he just wants it more.

New Fanfic!

• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "'But some of the non-essentials...well, the light over my console still flickers, the plumbing's still dodgy, don't ask what line got hooked into Mack and Jodie's shower. Got that routed correctly now...' Jane managed a rather sheepish grin at Daria's half-shocked, half-exasperated expression. 'So, is the reactor going to shut down when we jump?' Daria said after a long moment. 'No, but if we start pushing more than 25% lightspeed the toliet in the head outside the engine room floods.'"


• Green Dragon Rising, by Grifter74: "Goldar approached Rita cautiously, stopping where he knew she hear him, before speaking. 'Your Majesty, I have concerns about this human you have chosen.'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 13): "'DARIA!' Daria looked up in utter elation to see Jane waving at her from a second story window. She looked like a drowned cat, disheveled and soaked with water, but alive. It took Daria a moment to realize she was smiling. Not a sly little Mona Lisa smirk, an enormous, joyful smile showing off her miraculously still pearly white teeth."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'We are approaching the spot,' Elias said. 'I don’t see anyone,' Quinn said. 'Neither do I,' Elias said. 'Clearly it’s some kind of hoax!' Dennis said. Elias looked at Dennis. He knew that Dennis had been involved with hoaxes of a similar nature."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (parts 2 and 3): "'You want to spend three hours in that broken husk of a van because your brother’s cute guitar player is coming?' 'Daria! I didn’t know you thought Jesse was cute! But what about Mack?' Jane teased, dancing around Daria’s futile attempts to hit her with her backpack" (Part 3)


• The Night It Ended, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'I'm sorry, Stacy,' Sandi muttered, hair hanging around her face as her head dropped forward. 'If you didn't have to take care of me--' 'I don't have to do anything, Sandi,' Stacy interjected sternly. She moved around the table and knelt beside the chair, folding Sandi's hands into her own. 'I want to. You're my friend.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep. 7: Don't Sign Me Up!, by DIsaac (part 7): "KEVIN: Uh Un, You want ME to do this. Me - Kevin Thompson to talk for BOTH of us! DARIA: Exactly. KEVIN: Daria, New plan. DARIA: No new plan! No new plan! KEVIN: I'm calling an audible!"


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer said to her mother, "It looks like Quinn created the event of the season like we always expected her to do.' Beaming with pride, Helen said, 'She certainly did.' Rita Barksdale said, 'Quinn's beautiful. Everything is beautiful.' Grinning himself, Jake said, 'And it didn't cost a fortune.'"


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Aquarius, Huston,' the radio crackled. 'Are we on VOX?' Quinn bellowed at Sandi. 'No, we are not on VOX!' Sandi roared back."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Defenestration!), by Derek (COMPLETE!): "'So Mack-daddy, why am I handcuffed to this stretcher again?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Eric’s an okay guy?), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Eric sat at his desk and sighed. A glance at the clock showed him that it was almost 3AM, but he was still there. Suppressing a shudder at the thought of going back to an empty home, he looked around his office. He scoffed as his eyes fell upon the picture of the dog -it had come with the frame- and forced himself not to look at the picture hidden behind it. In his mind, he could see the image perfectly, and his lip quivered as he thought of the beautiful woman and baby who were behind the dog."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Don't- ah, whatever. Ok, now I told Jodie we were gonna go over plays for Friday's game. If anybody asks, make sure you remember, got it?' 'Got it.' 'Ok, you ready to do this?' 'Sure am!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guilty Pleasures Redux), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): "Closing the door behind herself Helen stood quietly and listened for a minute. Hearing nothing she made a quick curcuit of the ground floor to double check that she was alone before heading up the stairs."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'I just want to know one thing from you, Judith,' growled Reiko."

Rats and Pi...but not Rat Pie!

Happy Ratcatcher's Day! Whether they're on Ritalin or not, those little guys apparently need catching. Hey, I wonder if The Ratcatcher would be Ratboy's arch nemesis? I suppose we'd have to ask Kevin.

Today is also Pi Approximation Day, so those of you who missed Pi Day earlier this year can now have some pie--or at least something close to it.

Fandom News!

• Deref is now on the Boston leg of his trip, and has posted photos.


• The Space Shuttle Atlantis has returned home.


• The Boston Dariacon 2011 will start later today, and a Skype invitation has been extended.


• What do you think about Jodie's future maladjustment?


• TP Roll: choose your preference in the poll.


• Will any of the Daria characters keep in touch after IICY? If so, which ones?


• Discuss "A Dance with Dragons" in the thread, but watch out for spoilers!


• Two new Iron Chefs in Creative Writing: Hyrin's Defenestration! and OverlordMikey's Eric’s an okay guy?

One Small Step for an Overachiever....

On this day in 1969, Neil Armstrong became the first person to walk on the moon. Jodie follows in his footsteps on the left, although it may be part of yet another extracurricular activity. Vice President of the Moonwalkers Club? I suppose it beats shredding documents for congressmen.

Fanfic Update!

• 86 Bottles of Beer: I Spy, with My Extra Eye, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Are you sure this is the place?' Stacy asked doubtfully as they stood outside a nondescript office building. 'Well, it's not like they write "SECRET KAOS LAIR" in big letters on the front of all their locations, do they?' 99 replied. 'Hey, you think we could talk them into doing that?' Kevin asked. 'Because that would be really helpful.'"


• Alternatepalooza, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Talk soon turned to the festival and after a bit of hemming and hawing, it was decided that Daria and Jane would accompany the men on the condition they provided gas money. With a last tongue-in-cheek remark tossed over her shoulder, Daria followed Jane up the stairs and out of the house. Trent only noticed his jaw had been clenched shut when the door closed behind her."


• Anithing Is Possible (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by Born Yesterday: "It was all here in a sack of papers. The real her hat she uess her parens had just negleced to mention. A young red haired girl around 15 holding a new born as she sat in he hospital bed. A melancholy look in her green eyes."


• Another Lawndale's Episode, by Silver (part 3): "'Okay,' Daria said, gasping for air. 'We're going where?' 'This way!' C.C. said, bolting down what had to be the third or fourth side street. Daria would've groaned if she'd been able to spare the air."


• Bloodlines (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "The paper was laying on the bed, but Quinn seemed almost afraid to approach it. Daria took a deep breath and picked it up, scanning it as she said, 'What’s got you so...Oh.' She stared at the paper for a long time, then walked over to Quinn and gave her an uncharacteristically sincere hug."


• Cat Door from the Stars (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by gwrtheyrn (COMPLETE!): "I mention her talk about angles because it suggests something DeWitt-Clinton had told me of his awful dreams. He said that the geometry of the dream-place he saw was abnormal, non-Euclidean, and loathsomely redolent of spheres and dimensions apart from ours. Now an unlettered military woman felt the same thing, whilst gazing at the terrible reality."


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (part 6): "One night Dorian was sitting in the living room watching television when Quinn came running into the house upset and went straight into her room. Should we go find out what happened? Yeah, she seemed really upset. Dorian walked up the stairs and could hear Quinn crying through her door."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: How dare you accuse Starfire! Starfire: But Friend Raven, didn't you say that we had to consider every possibility?" (New part)


• Daria Loves Cock!, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "The craving hit Daria after her second class of the day at Lawndale High." (It's SFW. I promise.)


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "I am now faced with the distasteful task of recording the very moment in which our paths began to separate. If her share in the ardors she kindled had been nonexistent, a little fire of hope still was burning in my heart. But I was blind and fool, my school-girl wolphet had me at her mercy. With the human element dwindling, the closeness, the chance, and the torture only increased; and Daria took advantage of this."


• Dark Future: Road Worrier, by Charles RB (part 2): "'Girls, I've had a job offer in Maryland.' Helen took a deep breath. 'In the Lawndale Policed Zone.' Quinn squealed like she'd heard school had been napalmed again. 'How?' asked Daria and Jake simultaneously, and that bothered Daria because her father should've known surely?"


• First Impressions, by JPAGC (part 2): "'What about Daria?' Quinn’s smile disappearance now took a few more seconds that it had in earlier occasions. Eventually her face registered a carefully pleasant and neutral expression, with a smile a fraction of what had been. 'Daria?' 'Yes, your sister Daria.' Beat. 'How do you two get along?' Quinn pressed her lips together for a moment. 'Alright, I guess.' Her body was now completely still, in stark contrast to what had been just some moments before."


• God Save the Esteem Episode 29: Daria's High Score Rejected Scene #27 (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria narrowed her eyes and in loud, flat tones, sang out: 'If you've had sex in the last thirty minutes then you know you wanna sing with me!' Stacy leapt to her feet, quickly donning her Geek Stacy glasses: 'I just had see-eee-eeex -'"


• God Save the Esteem 32: Nuts to Work, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Unable to see a sensible solution, Daria decided to give her sister a stupid one to see what would happen. 'Hazmat suit.' 'Suit?!' 'Let me rephrase that.'"


• It’s the Local Fetish? (Iron Chef: The Bet), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'So you lost bet with your sister.' Tom said well having difficultly looking her in the eye. Daria just nodded. 'I thought she would just give me a makeover.' Daria sighed. 'This is by far the most embarrassing moment of my life..'"


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 6): "James smiled and said, 'Wow. You're my hero, Daria.' The corner of her mouth started to creep up but then Daria said, 'I'm not a hero. I don't know how I did it, going into the water and pulling Kevin out. It's almost like that Orwell essay where he shot an elephant. He didn't want to do it, but because there were so many people watching it's like he didn't have a choice...'"


• Man of the House, by Smijey: "'Look, if you're worried about the age thing, sixteen is legal in this state, and I'm seventeen, and --' 'Why?' I think my question caught her off guard. 'Why?' she echoed."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 7: Don't Sign Me Up!, by DIsaac (part 6): "JODIE: I'm afraid to ask this. How did you, Ted DeWitt-Clinton get banned from the library? TED: Oh that's easy. Ted DeWitt-Clinton don't take no crap from the man."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'Uh oh, do I know this person who's going to spread My Word? And Jane, why did you cue all that ominous background music?' Jane gave Daria a bemused smirk: 'Seemed appropriate. And yes, yes, You do. Do you remember Your camp reunion?' 'Oh no. No. You don't mean...' 'She who worships at Your shrine, the one known as Amelia...' 'Oh no!'"


• Secret History, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'I really wish you would let everyone see the real you,' he whispered. 'I can't - I have an image to maintain,' she sighed. 'Surely it couldn't hurt your image too badly if you answered just one question correctly in class,' He said as he began kissing her jawline."


• Silent Melody, by Silver (part 4): "Daria tuned out the conversation. Yes, she was a suspect. And she was a suspect because she was a nova. Life was funny that way. She sat up and spared a look out the window. The sun hadn't quite set, but she preferred the solitude of her room to dealing with the constant gripes and whines of her father and sister, or the heated questioning of her mother. On the other hand, she was missing the arguement between her mother and her new principal. Oh, well- win some, lose some."


• Stained Glass Shade (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Most women he met in show business were so terribly high strung, but Hana was as laid back as they come, with a calm, soothing voice and a carefree demeanor that made him feel at ease with her no matter what happened. He had a great deal of respect for the girl. Despite the fact that he was an established name in the industry and she was still struggling, she never once asked him for any kind of help with her career. She wanted to do everything herself. What ever happened to her?"


• Stolen at Birth (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by Grifter74 (COMPLETE!): "'Your Sandi? But I'm Sandi.' Sandi said confused. 'As if. My Sandi died just after birth, and I got one of the doctors to switch her with another. Some family had twins, so I took one of them. I should have known better than to try turning a sow's ear into a pearl.'"


• True Cynicism (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Hey,' Jane said in a shaky trying not to be frightened voice. 'What do you want?' The redneck in question asked derisively. 'I'll-' Jane swallowed as her voice broke. 'I'll let you do what ever you want to to me for fifty bucks.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I need to talk to you.' Daria and Quinn had just finished breakfast and were about to leave when Jake said this. Sighing, they both sat down."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Uh, like, Amy-Wan never told you what happened to your father and junk, right?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Breakfast at Tiffany's), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Tom and Daria sat at the table, picking listlessly at the food they had ordered. Finally, unable to take the tension after Daria's last statement anymore, Tom finally spoke up."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Friendship is Magic Fics), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, kitten,' Quinn said as she lowered the polarized goggles over her eyes, 'are we ready to light this candle?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "'Inside the wire', as the Army said, at MAE, it was different. She was Josephine Delores Landon, M.A, B.A. She was the director and head researcher of the BioChem Labs. She had half a dozen patent applications pending in her name alone. Her people were doing breakthrough research on antibiotics and anti-malarial drugs. Her department was well on its way to saving the 'thousand lives' that Master Sergeant DeMartino spoke of all those months ago, her very first day at MAE."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Bet), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Well, you'll be very unhappy to know that I picked out the absolute worst outfit ever for you to wear,' Quinn continued, acting as if she were oblivious to her sister's discomfort. 'One that no one should ever be seen wearing. One that, like seriously, shouldn't even exist.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Bet), by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "'What did Daria do this time?' groaned Helen. 'Quinn,' said Angela. 'Quinn? I thought her grades were up last month,' said Helen. 'This isn't about her grades, this is about her attitude.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Three Ninjas), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Daria's reply was cut off by the sudden appearance of a throwing star in the wall next to her head. Without missing a beat, she popped the star from its new perch and flung it straight back the way it came. The ninja standing in the shadows between the lockers artfully snatched the star out of the air even as he was moving forward and to the side, trying to flank the two high school students."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Mike looked at the shadow standing on a pile of crates. With the moon behind them, only someone familiar with the deepest nightmares of the criminals of Gotham City would know it was a woman. But not just any woman. 'The Batwoman,' Mike said into the radio just as the figure seemed to spread her wings and fly toward him."

"I mean, I have a guardian angel, too. I just don't brag about it all the time."

Eleven years ago today, the episode "Groped by an Angel" first aired. There's a lot to comment on about the episode, from the lightly-touched-on religious issues to Brittany's family to Trent's surprising knowledge of algebra. Rather than try to put together a detailed critique of the episode, I'll just take the lazy route and open it up to you all to talk about in the comments. What did you like about the episode? What did you hate? What made you think? What made you laugh? If you could be a nail polish, what color would you be and why?

Fandom News!

• Check out this interview about Daria! The Musical.


• What is your opinion on Facebook vs. Google+?


• Discuss Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 in the thread.


• Four new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Lord Yellowtail's Biological Parents and Helen's New Job, midnightstorm's Episode Summary, and Vukodlak's The Bet.

Think Jane Knows Any Dwarves?

Disneyland opened on this day in 1955, which is why Jane is dressed as Snow White on the left there. Let's just hope she doesn't actually try to do any singing, or else those cute little woodland creatures might turn feral. There aren't any explicit references to Disneyland in canon that I could find, but there are several nods to Disney in general in various episodes:

In "Speedtrapped," upon learning that Mystik Spiral's world tour consists of a gig 100 miles away, Daria replies, "It's a small world after all." If you didn't already know, that's from one of the rides at Disneyland...and good luck getting that song out of your head any time soon.

In "Road Worrier," the group's road trip game runs "I'm going to the picnic, and I'm bringing asbestos insulation, brine shrimp, the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney...and a dromedary."

"Sappy Anniversary" finds Daria comparing herself to the donkeys in Pinocchio and is advised by Jane to "Always let your conscience be your--" before Daria tells her to shut up.

Even the special "Look Back In Annoyance" gets in on the act with Jane's comment, "Hey, we're gonna be out of work soon. I'm trying to get a job with Disney." I'd love to see what Jane's Disney animation work would look like.

Fanfic Update!

• 86 Bottles of Beer: I Spy, with My Extra Eye, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "'I guess we should start gathering information.' 'Okay. I'll head over to the salon and see if they know anything about Dr. Shar.' 'I'm gonna check out the lingerie section!' 'Kevin!'"


• Can I Have This Dance?, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jane stared at the BFAC announcement board. Her favorite holiday was approaching and the poster for the annual Halloween Costume Ball was staring at her in the face. As she walked to her next class, Jane began to wonder if she could convince her still somewhat anti-social girlfriend to attend. Jane decided to take a shot and after class and a quick check of her slush fund, Jane bought two tickets. On the ride home, she stared at the freshly purchased pieces of paper and smiled."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: Starfire, please. We solve crimes. Sometimes, you have to walk on the darkside and wrestle with ideas you never thought you'd countenance, if only to dismiss them. Starfire: It sounds ... dangerous."


• Dark Future: Road Worrier, by Charles RB (part 1): "Highland High had forgot to renew its protection with the Black Hats and the Todd’s Boys, so the school bus was assaulted and torched (along with the driver) partway through the journey. Luckily, the teenagers had had enough money on them to buy their way safely through the remaining mile; luckier still, this meant Daria missed Gym class. (She hoped the school would pay up soon, if she had to walk home she’d miss Buffy And Da Slayerz)"


• God Save the Esteem 32: Nuts to Work, by Charles RB (part 2): "'You’ve got a job?' Helen beamed. 'That’s wonderful, Quinn! Once you have your own independent income stream, you can have greater quantities of and more elaborate piercings and leather – and none of The Mans can stop you when it’s your money!' 'The tax Man,' said Daria. 'Daria, don’t upset your sister.'"


• Green Dragon Rising, by Grifter74: "Daria struggled against Goldar's iron grip to no avail, as she was dragged through a palace on the moon, of all things. They were followed by Squatt and Baboo, who held Jane between them still wrapped up in the net. The group eventually stopped in front of a balcony where Rita Repulsa stood. 'The humans you wanted, Your Majesty,' Goldar said as he made a sweeping bow." (New part)


• He Shall Be Mine (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, this isn't some airhead jock or stuck-up preppie we're talking about, here,' Jane lectured in a stern voice. 'This is Bob--as in THE Bob, as in Robert Freakin' Carter. Every alternative, goth, punk, and any other genus of sub-culture chick in Lawndale High has been after him since freshman year--but he wants you.'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 12): "'We're dangerous men whose very existence disrupts the fabric of the fragile, weak, hypocritical little society that ordinary people build around themselves.' He said calmly, waxing philosophical. He liked to think of himself as more than just a glorified street hustler who'd managed to make bank, whether it was true or not. 'It's like we're the children of different gods than the rest of this world, thrust into it just so they can sit back and enjoy the chaos we bring to all the little people's lives.' He laughed grimly again. 'Like some damn kid throwing a couple of angelfish into a tank of bettas just to watch them eat their fill.'"


• Just Doing My Job (Iron Chef - A competent Dr. Manson), by Hyrin (part 2): "'Quinn, how are you doing in the Self-Esteem Class?' 'Fan-freaking-tastic,' Quinn muttered as she picked at her lasagna. 'Quinn?' 'What makes them think I have low self-esteem, anyway?' 'Should we list examples alphabetically, or chronologically?' Daria asked as she took a large bite."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "As she exited the school building, Quinn saw Sandi running after Elias down the street. ‘That’s not good,’ she thought. She knew that Elias had the emerald (having seen him with it when she got to class). She looked back, but Stacy, Tiffany, Daria, Jane or anyone else involved in the events earlier in the day were not around. 'I guess it’s up to me,' she said with a nervous laugh. She then followed after Sandi."


• Not So Different 67: Outlook: Sonny With A Few Clouds, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Tom explained that nobody got in from the wait-list as if it were a piece of information Sonny might not already have. Sonny asked him to stop being so diplomatic. Tom apologised for blurting and explained he’d been shocked as if that were a piece of information Sonny might not already have. ‘I did get accepted to Raft’, Sonny said, failing to change the subject."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 7: Don't Sign Me Up!, by DIsaac (parts 3 - 5): "KEVIN: No, I might be the QB but a QB is only as good as his wide receiver. Daria you are MY wide receiver on this. Daria, Can you help make this catch into the end zone? DARIA: Kevin? KEVIN: Yea, Daria. DARIA: I can't believe you actually used a football analogy and that I totally got it." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Screams in the Night (The Night Series: Night 8), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "I learned as much about her as I could. I cut class to watch her at lunch, and listened to her conversations to try and collect as much of her as I could. Then, I tried again. She still wouldn't let me help her. So I decided not to give her a choice."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Just looking at her makes me feel tired. Where I had imagined before that I could feel the weight of all my gear pressing down on me, now I really can. An entire world's worth of weariness settles around my head, my shoulders, pulling my limbs down as sleep threatens to overtake me. How long have I been at this? Hours? Days? Years? I try to remember having done anything other than trudge from one horror to another. It's so very very hard all of a sudden, and seeing Quinn looking as if she's just stepped out of the salon isn't helping matters any." (Ending) (Alternate Ending 1) (Alternate Ending 2) (Alternate Ending 3) (Alternate Ending 4)


• Shady Cooking, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "The kitchen light snapped on and Daria whirled from the stove to find Jake standing in the doorway, looking surprised. 'Daria? What's that smell?' 'Shit,' Daria muttered under her breath. 'Busted.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker (part 9): "The younger Morgendorffer sister half sat, half fell into her seat. The strain of several round trips to England in these past few months showed on her face. It fell to Quinn to be the liaison between Morgendorffer Advanced Engineering, the War Department, the U.S. military and civilian scientific establishment, as well as M.A.E. and the United Kingdom Ministry of Defence and the U.K. military and civilian scientific establishment. Both her astounding intelligence and her natural charm proved equally useful on both sides of the Atlantic."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Three Ninjas), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn were sitting at the dinner table, when suddenly the windows shattered as three ninjas, weapons at the ready, burst into the kitchen."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria reached one hand under her pillow to caress the two items nestled beneath it for what seemed like the hundredth time. She had bought them a few days prior, in reaction to receiving her Bromwell 'wait-list' letter. The letter made out that the number of wait-listed applicants was rather long, and the basic gist was that Daria shouldn't keep her hopes up."


• The Way of the Sword and the Parchment (Iron Chef: Three Ninjas), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Fantastic. Such a fine sword! You know, I’ve been practicing swordsmanship for several years now, but it really difficult when you only have some centuries old literature as a guide and completely lack an adversary and dojo and, principally, a good teacher.' He dropped his voice to an almost whisper. 'But you know what I really would like? To be able to forge my own sword.' He smiled. 'That’s why I asked you if you had made it...'"

Dancing Cheek to Cheek

Happy birthday to the late Ginger Rogers, born on this day in 1911. She was known best as Fred Astaire's dance partner in many movies, in which she "did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels." I love that quote.

The Landons are doing a pretty good impression of the famous duo on the right. I almost didn't recognize Michele with that smile on her face!

Fandom News!

• Two different articles highlight the language differences of Britishisms vs. Americanisms.


• Angst and cheer meet again in round two of the LadieT/The Angst Guy Dariacon...and this time, it's personal!


• Deref has updated about his trip to Cologne, including photos.


• An article about a new development involving space-time stealth, although it doesn't seem to involve the Yeagers' car.


• Talk about the upcoming third season of Deadliest Warrior in the Weapons of Mass Distraction thread.


• Nickelodeon is bringing back several shows from the '90s. Indulge your nostalgia!


• Four new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Grifter74's Going Ranger, Charles RB's The Musical, tafka's Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Roentgen's Three Ninjas.

Vive la France!

Happy Bastille Day! It's France's national holiday, which commemorates the anniversary of the storming of the Bastille in 1789.

Brittany seems pretty into the holiday, although that might have something to do with that lonely exchange student to whom she gave an American goodbye. Come to think of it, could the exchange student have actually been Bastille Day, visiting from Holiday Island? Or do I just need to get more sleep?

Ah, well. Whatever you do, don't get too close to Brittany while she's holding that sword!

David and Quinn share their thoughts on Bastille Day in Is It Fall Yet?:

David: But when the workers stormed the Bastille, they only found seven prisoners, and one of them was the Marquis de Sade.

Quinn: Eww.

David: That's more or less the way they felt.

New Fanfic!

• 86 Bottles of Beer: I Spy, with My Extra Eye, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Chief?' Kevin asked as he entered the office of the Chief of CONTROL. 'People usually have two eyes, right?' The Chief sighed. 'This again? Look, we've been over this. We even came up with that little song to help you remember. It goes, "I've got two eyes, I've got one nose, I've got two ears, I've got ten toes—"' '—The song's great and all, Chief, but this morning I saw this chick with three eyes! Is there a song about that?'"


• Betrayal! in E Minor (Iron Chef! The Musical), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'I kissed your boyfriend, and I really regret it...' Jane: 'You kissed my boyfriend... how do I forget it?'"


• Calm Upon The Brow, Storm Behind The Glasses (Iron Chef - Going Ranger), by Brother Grimace (part 1): "Damnit, Daria, do you have to make everything a competition? the cute redhead snorted inwardly. They were right to see your element is water - always so calm up on top, but God, the things that come up from the depths of your mind... not to mention that you're so cold to almost everyone, and that you can turn deadly in a heartbeat..."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: No. I know what you're going to suggest, and I don't want to go there. Starfire: But they have been with us since the beginning. Perhaps they have noticed something that has failed to catch our attention."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Oh, do not scowl at me, reader, I do not intend to convey the impression that I did not manage to be happy. Reader must understand that, lord and master of a wolphet, the traveler think of stand, as it were, beyond happiness. For there is no other bliss on earth comparable to that drift in the company of a wolphet."


• First impressions (Iron Chef - A competent Dr. Manson), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "“Please, Daria, take a seat”, said Manson after closing the door. She went round the desk and sat in a stuffed chair while Daria let her bag drop to the ground and took place in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. 'So...' the psy started. 'So...?' answered Daria after a few seconds, her face closed."


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 11): "Daria turned to see her friend, clad in an indigo sports bra and sky blue cotton panties, peeling off her leggings to reveal pale, toned legs decorated with more homemade tattoos and caught herself staring at them, feeling embarrassed at herself. 'Those are nice.' Daria said, then added hastily, 'Uh. The tattoos, I mean. You drew them yourself, right?'"


• Not So Different 65: Is There A Home Plate?, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "That was odd. What was he doing asleep at 4:07? Or rather, now that his mind started to focus, what was he doing waking up at 4:07? Unless it was 4:07am ... but in that case, when had he gone to bed? Simple: he hadn't formally gone to bed, he had just fallen asleep while on Sonny's bed, and now it was four-oh-se-oops."


• Not So Different 66: 'When The Bummers Bum ...', by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny's face returned to its usual deadpan for a moment, and then another odd expression came over it as he asked Helen whether they'd had a refrigerator box, like the one in the yard, when he'd been younger. He said he remembered spending a lot of time playing in one. 'Oh, I doubt that, Sonny', she said. 'I don't remember you doing much playing at all.' When she saw the look on his face she thought, And I was doing so well!"


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Ms. Li entered her office and immediately the phone began to ring. 'Who could this be, that can barely wait to call Lawndale High?' she asked. She picked up the phone. She was immediately blasted by some ranting. 'Calm down, and repeat what you just said!'"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Jane rolled down the window as their cloud pulled up to the drive up speaker, turned to her friend and asked: 'So, Daria, how do You want your first burnt offering and what kind?' 'Extra well done. And make it graphite. Pennsylvania graphite.' 'And gravy?' 'On the side.' 'Potato?' 'Baked. With nectar, ambrosia and sour cream. No chives.'"


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "Oh God. Oh shit. I remember. And yet even as the memories begin to flood back into me like an acidic wash, somehow burning and freezing me at the same time, I don't stop the movie. I watch in horrid fascination as the events unfold, unable to reach out and silence the set, unable to quiet the player. I have to see. I have to hear. I have to keep remembering."


• Trial (Iron Chef: Trial of the Century), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Lights. Flashing lights everywhere. 'Whores! Murderers! Give them the chair! The Chair!!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker (part 8): "'Lane, what's the latest on that high temperature alloy you was workin' on? That last batch of steel barely lasted 30 minutes afore the whizbang blew up an knocked me on my ass. Aw, hell, grab a sandwich and git up here. Ya can tell me all about it over lunch. You bring the beer, and a Coke fer Josephine while yer at it. See ya.' Miss Landon had walked over to the blackboard and was talking to herself. '... ceramics. Ceramic coatings for the vanes and... yes, there's the problem! The pulse disrupts the airflow. Buffer it... yes!'"


• The Verdict (Iron Chef: Trial of the Century), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "The media was swarming the courthouse, fighting for space amongst the assembled crowd. Many signs were in evidence, most demanding death but some defending the accused. Inside the courthouse, insulated from storm of public opinion, the judge sifted through the notes he had before him and sighed before calling the court to order."


• Zombie Cards...or, A New Weapon, by Doggieboy (part 2): "'John - Mr. Hobbs - he's healed!' That was the one comment that Tan didn't expect and she gawked at Scarlett. 'Say what?' she asked. 'How is that even possible? All zombie bite wounds are fatal! That's what the news channels have been saying since day two!' Scarlett swallowed and shook her head again. 'I don't know how it happened,' she said. 'It just did.'"

"I almost went out with...a computer geek?!"

Today is Embrace Your Geekness Day, and Mr. DeMartino is getting into the spirit! Although I suspect the holiday is meant to celebrate the more mundane, non-circus type of geek--you know, Monty Python, sci-fi, role-playing games, and other stuff the Fashion Club wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Although cfardell_Brenorenz29's AU version of Quinn probably would.

Also, here's some Weird Al just for fun!

Fandom News!

• In Dariacon news, Deref has posted pictures from Ghent, Boston Dariacon 2011 planning is still underway, and an Angst Lord and a Cheer Lord met without bloodshed!


• What's your battle cry? "Give a holler or a roar, make some stupid football noise and bust through!"


• thatLONERchick has a question about Skype etiquette.


• Kitties! Why? Because!


• HolyGrail2007 ponders about other students and self-esteem while Charles RB is curious about Jodie's race/social issues.


• An article about fan fiction was featured in Time Magazine. Check the thread for the link!


• HolyGrail2007 posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Trial of the Century.

Both Popular and Unpopular Population!

Today is World Population Day, and a good-sized chunk of the population of Lawndale (or at least the people who get speaking roles) have turned out to celebrate. They appear to be singing, though, so I'd advise keeping your distance from the festivities to be on the safe side.

New Fanfic!

• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 7): "By the end of that first class, she felt a new confidence in herself. She realized that she could indeed build something with her hands that wasn't from IKEA. She realized that she could build something from raw wood and screws and bolts and glue. All by herself."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Raven: (smiling) Daria. I never thought I'd be so happy to see you. Daria: I never thought you'd be happy to see me too. "


• Daria/Power Rangers: Watching the Watchmen, by Charles RB (part 4): "President Chernomyrdin's reprisal attacks across Moscow made it damn clear Russia wasn't going anywhere, but that bugged Daria. If Rita had attacked Russia before the government had regrouped... The only reason why Rita wouldn't is if she was so petty and vindictive, she'd only scorch the Earth after she'd smashed Angel Grove. Daria didn't know if she could that to be a relief or not."


• DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 2), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'But you have no plan! Every time we met before, I could see that you had some kind of plan, you obviously didn't think that the bridge would be heavily guarded,' Kellira said. 'I have almost lost count of the times when I didn't have a plan and still won the day, this will be no different, and as I once told a Dalek Emperor, doesn't that scare you to bits!' the Doctor said."


• Emerald Twilight, by Erin M. (part 4): "'Kim, Trini, Zack, and Billy,' Daria rattled off, 'They're Angel Grove's answer to Jodie Landon. All five of them are the shining examples of today's clean cut, community minded teenager. There isn't any school or community related project they aren't a part of. Everybody knows them, everybody loves them, and unlike Jodie, they actually seem to LIKE doing all of the crap they do.' 'Oh, god,' Jane said. 'Did you check for neck implants?'"


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 7): "Li: 'Starting this Friday on the next Friday Night Fights broadcast, two 15 person tournaments will begin in both the men's and women's divisions. I say 15 because both Michael Mackenzie and the loser of the upcoming Quinn Morgendorffer versus Jodie Landon match will be receiving byes into the quarter-finals. The prize awaiting the winners of these tournaments is this.' (Li opens up the briefcase. Inside is a large silver belt, bearing red, white and blue colours within its center plate)"


• Five Minutes to Midnight - 11:55, by untra (COMPLETE!): "It was for this reason that the first thing Jane did (after ensuring Mr. O'Neill was wholly aware of the aluminum bat she held before him), was to bring it down as hard as she could onto the telephone on the desk. This was not part of the plan. This was never part of the plan." (Part 18) (Part 19)


• God Save the Esteem 32: Nuts to Work, by Charles RB (part 1): "Daria grabbed the test from her friend and read it. '"Your lack of interest in human interaction makes you an ideal candidate for working with the dead."' Pause. 'I feel insulted but I can't think of a single rational rebuttal.' 'Anything irrational?' '"The dead had your mum for a nickel." That's not very good. "You mother's so dead, she stays all under the room." No, that's bad too. Should I go for three bad jokes in a row?'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 9): "'I'm not in the mood for your jokes, Amy. When have you ever known me to be?' Helen said, her hands balling into fists. 'Now what is it that you have to say about Quinn?' 'Alright.' Amy sighed. 'Alright, you got me. Look, I don't mean to insult her or anything, but doesn't Quinn remind you of anybody?'" (Part 10)


• INVASION! (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "HELEN: The invasion kept me STUCK at home with MY FAMILY for HOURS! GAH! I'm glad to finally get to WORK, Marianne! MARIANNE: W-WORK? But Helen- Panel 6. The big reveal - an office block lies in ruins in the city street. Helen stares in a mix of loss and fury. MARIANNE: THERE IS NO MORE WORK, HELEN! A stray shell from a Volgan tank hit the offices!"


• Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 3): "'Well, something weird is definitely going on here...' Mack pondered. 'Maybe it's because we're already playing the game.' Brittany offered. 'What? But...' Stacy said nervously. 'Should we just be sitting around here, then? Shouldn't we be watching out for monsters? Oh God, he said there'd be bugs...'"


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 5): "Helen put her hand on his arm and said, 'Jakey, it's something she needs to do her job. I'm sure we can afford it.' 'Don't you see, Helen? First it's a couple of swimsuits, then it's prescription goggles. Next thing you know we have a damn Zodiac boat sitting in the driveway!' 'It's just a public pool. She's not on Baywatch.'"


• Just Doing My Job (Iron Chef - A competent Dr. Manson), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Angela, we've talked about this. You are the principal; you set school policies. I'm the councilor; I make sure the students are alright. How many more times do we need to discuss this?' 'Perhaps you're forgetting who's in charge here?!' Angela huffed, her face turning red. 'Just make sure that the girls get set up properly here, alright?' With that, Angela left, slamming the door behind her. Margaret sighed and walked to the door, gesturing for one of the sisters to enter."


• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: Cats Night Out, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "'Wreoawr!' Sissy said. We want to help! 'Meowroar,' Fluffy replied. You can. Excited, Bump said, 'Hoawr?' How? Fluffy nodded. 'Maeaor kraowr.' Listen carefully."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (part 1): "Daria was in the midst of fragging zombie Nazis when a knock on the door shook her from her reverie. 'Daria? You got a letter in the mail.' 'Thanks, dad,' she said, taking it."


• Not So Different 62: Not Being Stifled, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "That had made it too difficult for Sonny to dodge the issue. ‘Well, I guess you don't have to worry about this one going behind your back with me. He sounds strictly pre-Stonewall.' Jane's tone had stiffened. ‘This is me you're talking to, remember?' She had given a hard stare at Sonny, then at Tom, then back at Sonny. ‘I'm not getting involved with any bigots, right? It's just that Nathan appreciates the beauty and elegance of post-war American design, and there's nothing wrong with that.'"


• Not So Different 63: End Of A Feud, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "With his mother and his aunt on the brink of mutually assured destruction, his sister clearly having a nervous breakdown, and his father on the lam, Sonny did not have time to chat or hang out with Tom, and Tom didn't quite seem to grasp this. He'd make an attempt at contact, meekly abandon it—and then call up, or round, again and again. His family, Sonny had to deal with; Tom, he didn't."


• Not So Different 64: Where You Might Not Expect It, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny figured that Mr Landon might be excited about the possibility of Jodie winning the prize, but he wouldn't be so excited about Sonny winning the prize—Sonny was, after all, neither black nor a woman, and anyway, he didn't think Mr Landon liked him. But nevertheless, unintentionally, the man had given him the germ of an idea. He wasn't sure he wanted to discuss it with Jodie, but the issue didn't arise, because she had to rush off for her coaching session with Dr Danada."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 14): "She was ready to leave. But why? To hide something, dispose of some evidence at her home? Or did she suspect someone, and the news she just received confirmed it. It could be one of two ways: Sandi seemed very calm, but she was a professional through and through. When their stomachs were in knots, they lit up like a 100-watt."


• Rendezvous (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "It was dark. There were few streetlights in this part of Lawndale, and at this time of night, there was no one around. A perfect place for a romantic rendezvous."


• Rude Awakening Ep. 7: Don't Sign Me Up!, by DIsaac (part 2): "(JODIE Runs in) JODIE: (Extremely fast) Ted, Chuck glad to see you! Ted, Library board seat! Chuck, Food Bank! Details later! E-Mail! Bye! TED: Did we just get a drive-by into a project?"


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "Words balk in my throat. The only sound I can make is a small wheezing as air tries to force itself through the passage. My teeth clench against each other, and I force myself to start putting one foot in front of the other again. This is my only path, so I have to walk it. I keep my pistol out and pointed directly at David's chest, however. I'm limited in my options, not parboiled stupid."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker (part 7): "The official groundbreaking ceremonies for the new Morgendorffer Advanced Engineering facilities began with the traditional first shovelful of earth. This time, the shovels were wielded by three woman. Miss Daria Morgendorffer, Ph.D, her younger sister Lt. Quinn Morgendorffer, Ph.D, W.A.C., and their lifelong friend and business partner, Miss Jane Lane, Ph.D."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Ladies and Gentelmen of the defence department, Coloussus is fully operational and in full control of the nation's defences.' Doctor Jodie Landon stood up from the computer station and turned to the assembled brass that had gathered in the Cheyanne Mountain facility. 'There is absolutely nothing to be concerned about.'"


• Unnamed story (Plot Bunny Murder), by Smijey: "Daria remained locked inside her room for the fifth straight day. She only darted out to steal a few snacks and a drink of water from the kitchen downstairs; otherwise, the smell was too horrible to remain out of her room for any period of time. Her parents stank. Quinn stank. Everybody at school stank. JANE stank. She couldn't stand to be around a single one of them. She stank too, of course, but at least her own reek was tolerable."


• Unnamed story (Possible Iron Chef: Evil Jodie?), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Jodie smirked to herself. Sure, the senator could generate a coverup in a day, maybe two. The information wasn't scandal worthy. Not yet. But it would put the senator on the radar of the publications in question for the next couple of weeks. Once the attention died down, Jodie would would let him know that the big guns were still waiting in the wings and would name an astronomical price to keep them there."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Civanfan (COMPLETE!): "I knew no better than to accept its word as truth. I hated humanity with every fiber of my being, and I hated those who would defend them even more, if that was possible. I prayed that I would survive to see the day when we would destroy them with the same callous disregard as they showed us."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'Oh my head. Jane? Are you there?' 'Yeah amiga. I'm here.' 'What happened?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by vlademir1 (COMPLETE!): "Jane - Hey, what's up? Talk to me. Daria - I kissed your boyfriend."

Caption Time!

What's going on here? Post your caption in the comments!

So, Do I Get the Day Off Work or What?

Happy Bowman Day, everyone! Okay, technically it's a made-up holiday in Daria fanfic, but what makes it any better than one of those made-up holidays in real life? I rest my case.

I admit I have no idea how Bowman Day is traditionally celebrated, but suggestions are welcome in the comments section.

Meanwhile...

Fandom News!

• Deref has updated and posted pictures from his trip so far.


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• An awesome new scientific breakthrough: synthetic organ transplants!


• An important PSA for gamers courtesy of Nathan Fillion.


• J-D is requesting assistance with a new project.


• JPAGC posted a new Iron Chef: A competent Dr. Manson.