BACK in the SADdle AgAIN!

Today is the 104th anniversary of the birth of Gene Autry, also known as the Singing Cowboy. I think Mr. DeMartino is doing a much better job than Travis would as the late radio, television, and movie star. He also looks a lot happier as a singing cowboy than he ever did as a teacher, so good for him!

Fandom News!

• Deref wonders, does this ever happen to you?


• Congratulations to D. T. Dey, who just became an uncle...again!


• Where are the real Daria and Beavis now?


• TheExcellentS continues to keep the 2011 Daria Fanfiction - The Finished Stories list updated, which should come in handy for your 2011 Daria Fanworks Awards nominations. Don't forget to nominate!


• Three new Iron Chefs posted in Creative Writing: Reese Kaine's Pew-Pew!, Ms. Kinnikufan's Daria and Quinn as step-siblings, and CR85747's Poker.


• Check out the latest new Golden Oldies threads, "Thicker Than Water" by Danny Bronstein and C.E. Forman and Austin Covello Fanfiction.

"Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys."

Today is Ask a Stupid Question Day, the holiday Kevin and Brittany were made for! As a librarian, I find that any day has the potential to be Ask a Stupid Question Day, but I've yet to come across one as bad as that duo could come up with. Poor Mr. DeMartino probably hates this holiday with a burning passion.

This also happens to be World Rabies Day, which is good news for Jane, who has "always wanted to sleep upside-down and spread rabies." Best of luck to her, but the rest of us might want to make sure their vaccinations are up-to-date.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 2, by DeacBlue (part 2): "After Mr. O'Neill tried, once again, to excite them, Daria told Ms. Barch that they were going out and drawing the enemy's fire. Five minutes later, the three girls had been painted and were on their way to a 'comfort station.' As they stepped inside under the canvas, Daria smiled at the sight of Jen pulling a notebook and a sketchbook out from her backpack. 'I knew you guys would get bored without these,' she explained."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 11): "'And finally, this is the power planer. Think of it as a wood chipper in disguise and treat it with the same pants-wetting terror and respect that you'd give any device that can grab you and not let go as it pulls you in, shredding flesh and bone.' 'Daria, you really are having too much fun, here. You know that, right?'"


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "'So, we get here. And then you tell me to suit up.' Jane sighed in frustration. 'When honestly Mack's the better choice for this. He's done cargo loading before-' 'And I need him and Stacy on the Nemo, making sure the ship doesn't drift too much. We're in the middle of a debris field, working salvage. The ship drifts the wrong way, with all the barriers down-' 'And I have to break out the hull patches. Got it.'"


• Depth Cakes a Holiday (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Now, you should feel relaxed and warm. Everything is cool.' His voice slipped into a soothing lower pitch. 'Everything is love, baby. And the next word out of your mouth will be that particular someone who makes you feel like Queen Cleopatra.' 'Mack...mmm...'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Jane...' Daria said, weakly, 'I'm alive.' 'Thank God!' Jane cried out, squeezing Daria tightly, 'Not for lack of trying, though. I knew that bitch was up to something, the way she was acting all shifty. What the Hell were her and those goons trying to do?' 'Dunno...' Daria said, trying to shake off the effects of the drug, 'Why did she do that? Thought she needed me. The essays...'" (Part 19)


• I Daria (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Crossovers), by InvisibleDan: "I, Daria Veronica Anna Judith Claudia Morgana Doria this that and the other (I'll leave out the list of all my titles), who was once called by family and some I once considered friends Daria the Plain, Daria the Bookworm, Daria the Frigid, Daria the Bitter, Daria of-the-Poison-Tongue, or Poor Aunt Daria, do hereby begin this strange chronicle of my life from girlhood to my ascent to Empress of Rome."


• John Lane 51: Promises Kept, by RLobinske (part 4): "'I want the best for my sister.' Quinn looked around at the fine setting. 'But yeah, a pizza place is probably best for Daria, in her own way. I don't understand it, but I've learned that I can't change.' 'That sounds like a reasonable outcome,' Tom said. 'You still think that they have something extra planned.' 'I'm positive.'"


• Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker: "It almost never happens that a big story drops full blown into your lap. You might get a lead, and after enough legwork, you might have a decent story. This was more than a decent story. Talk to enough people, slog through enough paper, you find the link. The link was the Mayor of Lawndale."


• Legends of the Dark Millennium: Mettlemouf (Iron Chef: The Terror of Metalmouth), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "There should have been some warning. Some sign. No way this beast, its race never known for subtlety, could have gotten in without notice. There were legends in this sector about a legendary Ork Boss-Mek who possessed teleportation systems so advanced he could appear anywhere within a thousand lightyears. A monstrous beast whose bionic jaw, what the foul greenskins referred to as a 'gob', could bite through anything like paper. They had been reluctant to believe it, more out of fear, perhaps, than any genuine doubt that a creature with such powers could exist, but there he was."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Jesse found Trent at The Zon that night, nursing a beer. 'You ok?' he asked, taking the stool next to Trent and gesturing for a beer. Trent gave no reply, except to take another drink. 'Didn’t think so,' Jesse said, taking a sip of his drink."


• Mission: Unfashionable, by JPAGC (part 1): "'And it means you're going undercover too, then,' interrupted a soprano voice at their right. The young man looked at the woman sitting in a comfy chair. 'Well, it's the only way, as far as I can see.' 'What were you thinking as cover, then?' asked Quinn. 'Well, there's always "upchuck"' He grinned as a chorus of 'Nooo', 'ewwww' and 'please!' erupted around him. 'Hey, It's the only one I have. And it has worked so far, right?'"


• (Not) Alone (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Daria's body sagged. She dropped her arms to her sides and looked down at the floor. 'You don't get it,' she said, her voice low and filled with sadness. 'I was finally alone. But now that you're here . . . I'm not alone anymore.'"


• Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane Ch 5, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "'You’re making progress; that’s not nearly as messy as shoving a bo staff through his trachea,' Bubbles noted, before sobering, flashing another one of those sad smiles that always made Daria think of soaked kittens. 'You don’t.' Daria blinked. Once. Twice. Felt the familiar irritation as Bubbles once again let her know she was somehow barking up the wrong tree. 'Explain,' she ground out."


• Quinn's Code 04: Geekery at the Mega-Mall, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Daria sighed. 'I'm sure it won't work, but I will ask Mrs. Bennet tomorrow to call off the field trip,' Daria said. 'I'm not sure that will work,' Jane said. 'I'm going to ask anyway. I can be quite stubborn,' Daria said. 'We've both seen that,' Jennifer murmured as she turned into the Lane's driveway."


• Rafting Naked (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Doggieboy (part 3): "Daria had her own paper and wrote the name Barry Powers down beside that of Shawn Striker. Then she looked at the shaggy-haired sophomore and narrowed her eyes. Paybacks are a bitch, you lousy bastard, but from now on, I’m going to watch you and your fellow pervert from the other class. You’d better hope that when I can get you back that I’ll be in a better mood. A small smile crossed her face. It’s a proven fact that steel-toed boots hurt, especially when they hit testicles."


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club, by DIsaac (part 3): "('GOOD' DARIA and 'BAD' DARIA appear on her shoulders) DARIA: Not you two again! 'GOOD' DARIA: Now you knew we couldn't stay away that long. 'BAD' DARIA: Besides it's not like we have better things to do."


• School Spirit: Valentine's Day Massacre, by Smijey (part 2): "Daria shrugged. 'Well, something sure as hell is making the whole county nuts. When I called mom earlier, she thought I was just nervous about being at Lawndale when I told her how many death threats had been made against me.' Jane nodded. 'Yeah, I tried telling my mom about it too, but she just thought I was using vivid imagery to express my dissatisfaction with the callous learning institutions of oh God it still gives me a headache just saying it out loud.' Jane rubbed her temples in a vain effort to alleviate the pain."


• The Secret of Morolonago, by NapalmKracken (part 1): "'Our work on that island,' thankfully he refused to butcher the place’s name, 'doesn’t require a massive pig sticker, unlike yours does.' He referred to the bolo at my side. A machete as long as my arm I’ve carried it daily since hiding in the mountainous jungle province of Bataan during the War. 'Now what pray tell do you need such a big cleaver for? They make steaks that big here?' 'I use it to keep passengers in line; say don’t you have an assigned seat in back?' Max replied, 'That’ll do it.' Ignore the crazy bolo lady’s suggestion why don’t you? 'And I like the stars. Cute.' Cute? The pair of stars dangingling from my bolo hilt came from a Japanese soldier I killed in the War! For these stars ten people died. What the hell is wrong with this guy?!"


• That Snarks In The Night (IC: Darkwing Daria), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Mummy mummy lookit me LOOKIT!' squealed the aforementioned thing, rushing into the room in her Gosalyn costume (she'd already had the pigtails). 'I'm Gosalyn, I get to fight the bad guys and everything!' Daria said nothing. Darkwing Duck was the only thing she and Quinn agreed on and could share, but despite that, admitting that Gosalyn was cool would mean Quinn won. And that could not be allowed."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef Idea: Daria as a Historical Reenactor), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Sitting among the other ladies in the gallery watching the Pas d'armes tournament, Daria leaned over and whispered to Jane, 'You know, it was worth it dressing up in medieval clothes to watch guys in armor hit Upchuck with sticks.' After a loud 'Whack!' from the field, Jane said, 'Ouch. That's going to leave mark. Upchuck really isn't very good, is he?'"


• Unnamed story (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Crossovers), by Quiverwing (COMPLETE!): "Gossip Girl (Voice Over) - Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here... and I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, Melanie91, sends us this: Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Daria Morgendorffer. Was it only a year ago she mysteriously disappeared for quote 'boarding school'? And just as suddenly she's back."


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'This is where the wealth comes from, Thomas.' Seventeen years old and realising how fucking naive he was of the world, Tom Sloane stared at the thing uncoiling from the Bromwell pit and tried not to scream or soil himself as it tore into the girl's corpses. "


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane was walking her new friend Daria home when her brother's car pulled up alongside them. She froze with panic. 'Hey, Janey,' he said with a lazy smile. 'Who's your new friend?'"


• Un-sureness, by roguebert (COMPLETE!): "She tossed her head to the side. Jane took the hint and followed her. 'What’s up?' Frowning as she reached for a brush. 'I think there’s something wrong with Daria. Just, when she came in, she looked like a lost puppy on top of looking like a drowned rat.I didn’t ask - I don’t know if I know her well enough - and you know how - of course you know - but -'"

An Apple a Day Keeps the QB Away!

Happy birthday to Johnny Appleseed, born on this day in 1774. I assume that Kevin is scattering apple seeds like Johnny did, but knowing Kevin it's just as likely to be jelly beans or something.

Fandom News!

• Former Daria fanfic author C. E. Forman made an appearance in the Get Lamp documentary.


• Charles RB takes a look at the dark side of the Guptys.


• RLobinske shares an interesting essay on growing out of racism.


• Do you read comics other than Marvel and DC? Talk about them in the thread!


• A new thread in Creative Writing challenges you to post your best Scream Scenes.


• Another Creative Writing thread invites you to post your My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Crossovers.

I Don't Care What You Read--Just Read Something!

Happy National Comic Book Day, True Believers! Admittedly the only person in Daria canon that I can remember reading comic books is Kevin, but I know for a fact that there are quite a few avid comic book readers in fandom. Hell, I'm married to one. Marvel, DC, Ratboy...grab yourself an issue and enjoy!

In other book-related news, yesterday began National Banned Books Week. Why not pick a favorite from this list of frequently challenged classics, or join Daria in protesting in her own unique style?

Jane: Run down the list of causes you volunteered for again?

Daria: I protested that book burning last year.

Jane: You yelled at the TV screen.

Daria: Hey, if more people spoke up....

And if that's not enough inspiration to read stuff, here's the latest fanfic update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 2, by DeacBlue (part 1): "'How about we call it, "America's Future Leaders," and we just enlarge a picture of Kevin and Brittany?' asked Daria. 'Come on, that's too depressing,' Jane replied. 'How about we call it, "Beauty is only Skin Deep," and we attach the actual skin of a student?' 'Yeah, but we'll get one donated about the same time that us three get married,' said Jen. Daria's face lit up. 'Hey!'"


• Cottontails (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "'So, what are you going to wear today?' Quinn asked. 'Real funny.... Just my old swimsuit. With a towel wrapped around me.' Quinn smirked again. 'Nuh uh. It's nice out. That means you have to be dressed like everyone else.' 'I thought this place had optional in its name.' 'You heard wrong. If you're going to be outside, you've gotta lose the suit.'"


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Systems away, a comm terminal came alive with the chirping of an insistant, high-priority call. Its owner reached out and tapped the screen, opening the line. 'Mister Maas,' the woman's voice snapped at him from the other end of the encrypted connection. 'Why haven't you recovered the cargo yet?'"


• A Fistful of Scarletts, by Aloysius (part 1): "When she reached the first floor, she exhaled loudly and waddled to the front door. She opened the door to find a suit-clad tall man with short white hair and dark circles under his eyes. Goddess, he looks like Lurch from The Addams Family, she thought and resisted the urge to grip her pistol’s grip. 'Yes? Can I help you?' 'For you,' he said, his voice deep, and he handed her a thickened envelope."


• In Any Other World: Their Sister’s Keepers, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Jane walked up the stairs, glad to be out of the conversation. No Quinn so far either, and that was always good. Ever since it came out that Daria was her sister, Quinn had been ever more resentful and concentrating everything she had on regaining some form of popularity. The more she struggled and simpered and backstabbed, the more she seemed to hate her sister. Because damn it, it had to be Daria’s fault her personality had taken a whack."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Helen looked at the clock on the wall. '4:40! I’m sorry, I have to get back to work!' she said. 'If it hasn’t been affected by the tornado!' Elizabeth said. Her expression seemed to say 'Where do you think you’re going?' 'Oh, believe me, the firm will be running regardless of natural disasters,' she said."


• School Spirit: Valentine's Day Massacre, by Smijey (part 1): "Dr. Manson (Daria doubted whether the woman had ever seen the inside of a psychiatric learning institution) had showed her an image, a silhouette of two people talking, and asked her what she saw in the picture. Daria replied with her stock answer ('A herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains,') and Manson asked if she was being a wise guy. Daria replied that she lacked the genitalia to be a wise guy, and Dr. Manson PULLED A GUN ON HER IN RESPONSE."


• Through the Fog (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "She cautiously stepped out of the bathroom and shivered immediately at the temperature difference between the sauna the bathroom had become and the cool hallway. A familiar creaking of the stairs prompted Daria to pause. 'Hey Jane,' she greeted the taller blurry shape as she wiped a bit of excess moisture away from her squinted eyes. 'I forgot to grab a towel before I went in. Can you grab one for me?'"


• Unnamed story (IC: "Unless logic and experience prove me wrong"), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria's logic told her that gravity worked one way (down), and that was that."


• Interstellar Portals - A worldbuilding scenario, by cfardell_Brenorenz29: "The carriage pulled up to the archaeological site, in a rush. Doctor James Livingstone wondered what it was that he had to dragged all the way out here on the Cetian frontier (though the real frontier was further out) and over 22000 miles from Cambridge, through 4 portals, to see. (Though he had to admitt that railways and steamships had sped up the journey to a mere 4 months rather than the year or more it would have been nearly a century ago.)"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'So, Daria, what's it like being a God?' 'As long as I'm not prayed at by idiots, besieged by begging relatives, claimed by sleazy politicians or otherwise inconvenienced, it's O.K.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Even in her high heeled boots she barely came up to the man's chin, but her powerful presence towered over him. She looked so strong and sharp in her shiny glasses, studded leather bustier, spiked heels and expression of eternal contempt. She was the rose's thorns, she was a razor blade in a piece of Halloween candy, a flesh-searing lightning bolt screaming down from a fluffy cloud, a divine judgement on a worthless world. 'My Goddess...' Woods whispered, reverently as he dropped to his knees."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Daria awoke with a start! She was in her room. She wasn't naked on the Raft campus, she wasn't even a student at Raft, yet. 'Oh, thank god it was only a dream.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef Idea: Daria as a Historical Reenactor), by Ranchoth (COMPLETE!): "...slowly, the King Tiger's shape rumbled out of the old Morgendorffer barn, sixty years of dust shaking off the zimmerit ridged hull. It clipped the door frame twice; once, as the driver misjudged the exit angle, and then tearing out a horse-sized section of planks against the panzer's rear quarter as it clumsily yawed on it's treads. The turret traversed in the same direction, outpacing the hull, as the main gun brought to bear...on the petrified gaggle of bank officers."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 50): "While she rode the subway, Daria felt some trepidation. What was she going to tell Sam? That she just happened to run into her ex-boyfriend at South Station? She stared at the tunnel walls rushing past her window, unsure of what to do."


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Sandi?' The hinges creaked slightly as Stacy slowly moved inside, one hesitant step at a time. She was just about to call her friend's name again when she looked over at the vanity table and noticed Sandi sitting there, staring into the mirror. Though she couldn't see the other girl's face, she could still see that something was horribly, terribly wrong."

As a Matter of Fact, It IS Fall Yet!

Today is the day of the September equinox--autumn in the Northern Hemisphere and spring in the Southern Hemisphere. Regardless of which side of the planet you live on, the seasons are changing again. The Fashion Club are probably busily rotating out their clothes to fit the season, discarding whatever has gone out of style and snapping up all of the latest fall fashions. Meanwhile, Daria is probably getting a thicker jacket out of storage.

Fandom News!

• Post your thoughts about the R. E. M. breakup in the thread.


• Happy anniversary to the Lobinskes, who met twenty-five years ago yesterday.


• Roentgen considers the merits of "Esteemsters" as a first episode.


• DeacBlue asks, when do seasons start and end?


• Three new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: DIsaac's "Unless logic and experience prove me wrong,", Drachen's Daria as a Historical Reenactor, and JoeMerl's Those Who Didn't, Teach.


• The Golden Oldies forum is still generating lots of new discussions about old works! Also check out E. A. Smith's reminder about his Interviews and Kara Wild's thoughts about Fanfic Conventions 1997-2002.

"I just made 120% of my target projection for this year, earning me a bonus and an incentive check, so I'm pretty damn good. How are you?"

Happy American Business Women's Day! Linda Griffin, as a member of the Lawndale Businesswoman's Alliance, is probably celebrating the day by rubbing her success in Helen Morgendorffer's face.

If American Business Women's Day is a student at Holiday High School, I would imagine she'd be just like Jodie Landon. May the two never, ever meet.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 13): "At the bell for the next-to-last period of the day, the girls were once again headed for their lockers, only to find Tommy Sherman leaning on them. Daria sighed. 'Excuse me,' she said, politely. Tommy's eyebrows rose. 'You're kidding, right? You think I'm going to talk to you?' He looked at Jane. 'You, maybe. Like, four hours into a kegger.' When he saw Jen, he grinned. 'The kegger'd start with you.' 'Only if I wanted a beer bong,' Jen said."


• Burning Desire (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'I could have been something...' Daria thought, morosely, as she scrubbed the toilets in the Mega-Low Mart ladies' room. So much potential, all down the proverbial crapper. Still, mustn't grumble. Any job was a blessing for somebody like her. For a registered sex offender."


• The Cynical Villain , by DIsaac (part 1): "Dad started his pep talk 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a new town, especially for you, Daria, right? Daria deadpans 'Did we move?' Quinn exploded 'Of course we moved, Daria! You had to put something in the freaking water in Highland!'"


• GStE - Meanwhile, Sideways In Time: Am I Fired Yet?, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Are you going to kill us?' whimpered one girl. 'No.' She turned to the other kid. 'Hey, mofo, if I can’t sleep here, no one sleeps here.' 'He looked up, glaring. “Is it fall yet?' 'I wish.'"


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 9): "Daria stood by the pump and watched her twenty disappear as the numbers changed. 'So, how did Trent get the tickets for the concert if he can't afford the gas?' James looked at her and made a gesture of zipping up his lips. 'So, I guess I don't want to know, do I?' The pump clicked off and James pulled it out. 'Let's just say that it was a non-cash trade. Anything else will compromise you if we get questioned by the police.' 'What!?'"


• John Lane 51: Promises Kept, by RLobinske (part 3): "Tom pinched his nose. 'You want to spy on your sister and her boyfriend?' 'This is important, Tom. Yes.' 'What are we looking for?' 'I don't know.' 'So why are we looking?' 'Because they're up to something.'"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Amelia looked at Daria with desperate puzzlement and asked: 'Where did I sleep last night? And why did I dream of my decapitated head lying face down on the railroad tracks?' 'Probably you slept in the pines, or some other place where the sun doesn't shine. The decapitated head? Hey, you're a prophet. Decapitation often comes with the job. Relax. We go on in 30 seconds, and I need you to be a fully operational prophet, so let me check this out, O.K.?'"


• Tom Sloane's Mystery Person Revealed (LFC Friday Night Fights Minific Thread ), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "O'Neill: 'Last Sunday night, Tom Sloane was pushed to his absolute limits by Michael Mackenzie in a match for the ages, but Sloane pulled it out and continues his reign as LFC Men's World Champion.' Defoe: 'He did, but it wasn't without an assist by the mystery person that he'll be calling out soon. He claims that he's innocent through all of this, and I believe that to be true, but there's always that nagging piece of doubt in my mind.'"


• Unnamed story (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The crowd learned two things that they would never forget. The first was that his costume did not cover his posterior. He had a very muscular ass. The second - for what it was worth - was that he must be a black male...either that, or he spent five hours a day in tanning booths. 'Gaze upon its glory!' the masked man said. A reporter dropped his recorder and pointed. 'My God! It's the Assmaster!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'There's only one way to see who's a bodysnatcher!' barked Li. 'CLOTHES OFF NOW! WE'RE DOING A TUBOR CHECK!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef Idea: Daria as a Historical Reenactor), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Tom, dressed in the uniform of an 18th Century army officer, was heartily enjoying his weekend. He had travelled to Boston to take part in a Tea Party protest, and was heartily enjoying himself as he chanted slogans about socialists and tax cuts."

Tennis, Anyone?

On this day in 1973, Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs in the famous "Battle of the Sexes" tennis match. Ms. Barch was probably pleased by the outcome, and Jodie--being on the tennis team--is probably very familiar with the match. Jake, who once wanted to go to tennis camp but ended up in military school instead, can only imagine what might have been.

Fandom News!

• A new poll asks, would you like to have been a Playboy Bunny?


• CR85747 has tweeted Daria in 140 characters or less.


• byron lomax found some Daria confessions on Tumblr.


• Wouter has found a Daria lookalike in "Rio."


• Share your favorite recipes in the Recipe Exchange Corner!


• A new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: Vukodlak's Trashfreak out free for all.


• The Golden Oldies forum is up and classic fanfic discussion has begun!

Yarrrr!

Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day! Get yourselves plenty o' rum and wenches and have a blast, me maties. Methinks yonder Upchuck won't be seein' any o' the wenches, the poor bilge rat, so let him have all the grog he wants!

If ye be too much of a landlubber for this holiday, try readin' Shane Greentree's Esteemarrs! and I Don't (Like Landlubbers) and see if that sets your sails a flyin'!

And now, straight from Davy Jones's locker, here be the latest fanfic update:

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (parts 8 - 12): "'I'm sorry I have to work late tonight, girls. There's angel hair in the freezer, girls, and don't forget, tomorrow we're hosting the couples workshop. It's focus on teens night! I expect you to be there.' Quinn replied automatically, 'Sorry, Mom, I have a date. Remember what you said on Saturday? A commitment's a commitment.' Helen sighed. 'Well, I guess I did say that. Well, I'll see you there, Daria.' Daria gripped her hands together in front of her, pushing her knees apart. 'Actually, Quinn won't be able to make her date, and I need to ask you and Dad to call off your couples workshop, Mom. We need to have a family meeting as soon as possible.'" (Part 8.5) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)


• The Cynical Villain, by DIsaac (part 1): "Lawndale, Maryland – It’s your ideal mid-Atlantic coastal town and on the surface there is nothing really wrong with. The neighbors are kind and friendly. The community cheers on their Lawndale Lions on cool Friday nights in the fall. Everything seems normal but one major fact – They are all villains. Each and every single one of them, villains. Future villains, Current villains or Former villains - this is what Lawndale is made of."


• Daria/Power Rangers: Watching the Watchmen, by Charles RB (part 5): "'Daria, you’re unarmed and the fair is a Repulsa op! Just get the hell out of there! Get your family out!' 'But the fair is full of people-' 'We know! We’ve alerted the handlers, okay? AGPD is heading your way with National Guard back-up, we can assume Lightspeed has "overheard", the Power Rangers will notice – you just need to get out before-' Pineapple turned the girl into a cardboard cut-out. He turned a human being into cardboard."


• Dragon in the Waves (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Grifter74 (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, are you all right?' Jason shouted as he looked around. Seeing a golden glint a short distance away, Jason dashed toward it. Sitting on a rock, next to the shore, Jason found a pile of clothes, which he recognized as Daria's usual outfit, along with her underwear and her communicator sitting on top of it all. Jason blushed as he realized what he was looking at, and was glad that he was wearing his helmet, even if he was alone. "


• DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "The Doctor and his companions had not been idle either. They stood around the TARDIS surveying the scene; hence they could see the Drahvin soldiers approaching... 'What do we do Doctor?' Sabrina asked. 'We go to the UNIT force, they may need my help,' the Doctor said. 'Sounds like a good idea, those soldiers look like they may be firing their guns soon,' Sigrun said. 'In disarray? I wouldn't like to see them when they are not!' Jia'hale said."


• God Save The Esteem 35: I Don't Like Any Day, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Using all their lock-picking skills (they kicked the lockers until they opened), the nine-strong gang checked a row of lockers for anything adequate. They found nothing and texted Daria for more advice. 'Be very careful then. Or use your spider-powers.' None of the gang would admit to having spider-powers, and since their scout Shaggy was reporting the shooters were coming up the stairs for them, they had no time to debate on who the selfish bastard was who had spider-powers and wouldn’t tell their friends." (Part 4)


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 17): "'Through here,' Heather said, holding a door open as Daria nearly tripped over a short blond boy lounging on the floor sucking on a bong like a breastfeeding infant. There wasn't much inside except for some beanbag chairs and a computer. The girls sat down and Heather passed Daria a bottle. Daria drank the bitter liquid down, savoring the warm feeling that spread through her small body."


• How To Avoid a Trap (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The young man - having been in Todd's shadow since childhood - noted the implied threat in the manner which the man in the robes casually shifted position on the handle of his weapon. 'I will need your silence. There are worse things than death. There is continuing existence - in such a form that death would be your eternal waking thought, and your evening prayer.' 'I won't say a thing.' The man in the robes gave a barely noticeable nod. 'Take me with you.'"


• It's Not a Tumor (IronChef: Trashfreak out free for all), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "They all looked back to the pregnancy test. 'Then whose test is it?' Helen asked aloud. Daria realized that, for some reason, her father hadn't seen fit to comment on the situation. She turned to him, and he was looking very nervous. 'Dad, is there something you want to share with the rest of us?'"


• Looking Up (Iron Chef: What's behind Alter Egos?), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Daria's voice finally cracked and she broke down sobbing again, collapsing into Trent's lap, 'It's all my fault...' 'No...' Trent tried his best to comfort her, stroking her rich, soft hair, now tinged with grey, hesitantly at first, then more gently when she didn't resist. That always calmed her down, 'It's not your fault, Daria. You weren't the one who...' 'Yes it is. This all happened because of me. If he hadn't looked up to me so damn much...'"


• Memorable Weekend (IronChef: Trashfreak out free for all), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'Agh! My pregnancy test!' Daria, Helen, Quinn, Jane, Sandi, Stacy and Tiffany yelled in unison."


• The Mis-Adventures of Scarlett the Dark Fairy (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "She smiled as she hovered over the calm waters, then flew over to a nearby boulder, where she changed into appropriate swimwear. What’s that? You want me to describe her swimwear? You want me to give you details on whether she wore a simple one-piece suit or a more revealing two-piece suit? Well, I would, if she actually wore one to begin with. Yes, my friends, Scarlett had decided to swim au natural. For those of you who don’t speak French, she was butt naked."


• Paint You a Picture, by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'So...when are you coming back in the house?' Janie asked that question every day or two. When somebody actually wants me to, Trent thought. 'I dunno,' he said. 'Maybe never.' He tried to sound conversational, but couldn't entirely mask the bitterness in his voice; In reality, he wanted to go back in there so badly, almost as badly as he wanted not to."


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club, by DIsaac (part 2): "JODIE: Mack, I'm in a relationship with someone first time in years! MACK: Congrats! I've always wanted you to be happy and whom is it with? JODIE: It's with Alison. MACK: Great to hear that! JODIE: Thanks. MACK: But you did tell her you suck at them?"


• That Would Have to Be Enough (Iron Chef: What's behind Alter Egos?), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "...Okay, so it was really bad. But Quinn was trying to think positive! But it was hard, with everything that she had lost. Oh, how she missed her perfect skin! How smooth and soft it had been, pale pink and utterly flawless, almost never with a single pimple or blemish...she looked different so, now. But she could deal with it. She would have to, until the reanimation technology was perfected and she could really be alive again."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: And not a single care was given that day), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Daria, Jane, and Tom walked into Daria’s place only to find it covered in blood; the bodies of her mother, her aunt Rita, and her aunt Amy dismembered and strewn across the floor, her father pinned to the wall moaning in pain; his bottom half horribly mangled, and her sister a bitter and broken shell curled against the wall; her hair shaved off and her clothes ripped to shreds suggesting a multitude of possible horrors."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: What's behind Alter Egos?), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn, their hands full of luggage, followed their aunts - Amy and Rita Barksdale - into the living room, where they saw Helen Morgendorffer on the floor in a makeshift horse costume, her rounded posterior somehow adorned by a horse's tail that drooped down between the three-inch heels she wore."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: What's behind Alter Egos?), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Calling Sky Captain! Emergency Protocol 90206! Calling Sky Captain, come in! Emergency Protocol 90206. Come in, Sky Captain!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: What's behind Alter Egos?), by Quiverwing (COMPLETE!): "Jane - 'I can't believe you had the nerve.'"

But...It's Still September!

Hey, everyone! Oktoberfest starts today! Brittany is serving the beer, so grab a mug and join the fun! Just watch out for Kevin, though--if he starts singing "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer" again, just hit him until he stops. I still think it's a wonder the boy can count that high forwards, let alone backwards.

Fandom News!

• Now we can wrap text around images on the PPMB!


• Attention, space travel fans! NASA has some very big ideas!


• Check out the new advice thread if you have any questions or answers.


• A new gossip thread has been started for all your perversion needs.


• ioxmo wonders about Daria sleeping over at Jane's.


• Liz Ruiz ponders the nature of fandom: Why are we here?


• What are you eating? Please finish chewing before you answer!


• Discuss the Deadliest Warrior season finale and join in the Vampires vs Zombies debate.


• Erin M. posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria.

Watch Me Pull a QB out of My Hat!

The illusionist David Copperfield was born on this day in 1956. Kevin's doing a few magic tricks of his own, although I doubt they'll help him much on the football field. Someone should also probably tell him one of the rabbits is trying to eat his foot.

It was also 201 years ago today that Mexico declared its independence from Spain. Well done, guys! And have a very happy Independence Day!

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 7): "'It would be nice it you would actually listen to me when you ask me to talk with you, Mom,' Daria said in a flat tone. 'You were talking about positive and negative reinforcement, Daria,' Helen replied. 'And, in that vein, maybe if you and Kevin work well together, he'll associate you with feeling good and want to include you in his circle of friends. That would be positive reinforcement, wouldn't it?' 'For who?' Daria raised her eyebrow."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 11a): "Daria was impressed by the work. 'This is pretty good, at most, I'd maybe change this a bit, it sounds a little too passive, I'd tighten up this paragraph, and maybe this one as well. Then there's the usual colon/semi-colon stuff that everybody screws up. Other than that, "let it stand".' 'Really, that's all? When did I learn to English good?'"


• The Cynical Villain (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by DIsaac (prologue): "Lawndale, Maryland – It’s your ideal mid-Atlantic coastal town and on the surface there is nothing really wrong with. The neighbors are kind and friendly. The community cheers on their Lawndale Lions on cool Friday nights in the fall. Everything seems normal but one major fact – They are all villains. Each and every single one of them, villains. Future villains, Current villains or former villains - this is what Lawndale is made up."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (COMPLETE!): "And that's all, friends. Everything I did, everything I saw. If I had strength, I would to mourn. I have reread it. It has bits of mud sticking to it, and blood, and beautiful bright-green flies. I have camouflaged what I could so as not to hurt people. And I have toyed with many pseudonyms for myself before I hit on a particularly apt one. There are in my notes 'Gustavo Gustavo' and 'Rodrigo Rodrigo' and 'Ezequiel Ezequiel', but for some reason I think my choice expresses the nastiness best."


• Fan Clubbed, by Smijey (part 1): "'Excuse me?' Daria repeated, now wondering if there was uranium in the drinking water here too. 'Um, why are you talking to that, uh, person?' Quinn asked hesitantly. Sandi turned, her nose turned up just a little. 'Well, Kuh-winn, I wouldn't expect a muggle like you to understand, but as president of the Harry Potter Fan Club, I always have to be on the lookout for potential future members.'"


• Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 16): "'Huh. I was just thinking, that discussion thing Heather mentioned the other day should be tonight. I guess we could check that out. If you want.' Jane paused to mull it over. 'Ah, what the Hell...' she sighed, 'Better than the alternative, I guess.' 'Do we ever do anything for any other reason?' Daria said as she and Jane headed for the doors."


• Ill: The Alternate Ending (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'I just don't understand, Dr. Phillips. How could this have happened to her?' Dr. Phillips shook his head. 'It's not unheard of for people to become allergic to certain stimuli that they could tolerate earlier in life, Mrs. Morgendorffer, but as to how she suddenly became allergic to every known natural and synthetic fiber...I'm at an utter loss.'"


• In the Trunk, by Smijey (part 1): "Upchuck sat on the trunk of his car. It was not quite six PM on the day he had graduated high school. The sun hung low in the sky, and a breeze which still thought it was spring caused the hairs on his arms to prickle with its coolness. He wasn't even twelve hours out of school, and Daria Morgendorffer lay dead in his trunk."


• Monster (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Smaller than a speck of dust, Fran flew away from the lavish mansion full of elected officials, VIPs, major donors and in general, the movers and shakers of the political party. A smile formed on her face as she remembered the televised comment of the Chief of Security: 'An ant won't be able to get in without our approval and knowledge.'"


• Rafting Naked (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Doggieboy (parts 1 and 2): "The student kept her expression neutral, but wanted to roll her eyes. The PEA, which many of her friends and fellow students called 'Pee-pee', came into being the year before with all kinds of feel-good ideas to improve the lives of children right up to college student levels. While their hardcore program on attacking bullying was somewhat a success, their other initiatives came across as either wishy-washy or too intrusive. Wonder what kind of B.S. they’re gonna use me for? she thought." (Part 2)


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club, by DIsaac (part 1): "SANDI: Where is my Raspberry Vinaigrette at? God that is the greatest dressing ever. (At that moment an Asian woman comes in) SANDI: Oh god! Not you! TIFFANY: Saaaandiiii, Whoooo aaaaaareee taaalkiinngg aboouuut?"


• Sugar and Blood, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jane and Daria could hear the blood curdling screams of their classmates as they raced for down the hallways in search of the younger Morgendorffer. Daria lost her footing on a pool of soda and blood that had spewed from the cans and bodies that littered the floor. Jane grabbed Daria's arm and the two quickly rounded the corner. Echoing behind them through the halls was the voice of Angela Li yelling 'SODA! SODA! SODA! - if you want to live, I better see a soda in your hands damn it!'"


• Tewari (IC : Legion of Lawndale Super Villains), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jane knew that Daria kept them on a leash. Slowly changing their minds. Jane wondered if Daria had been messing with her own mind. Of course she has. She's probably reading it right now. Aren't you, amiga? If Daria was, she didn't answer. Jane wondered how much of the old Jane Lane was left; her carefree days goofing off in class seemed millenia ago."


• Trix of the Trade, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'P-O-O-K-A,' she spelled, locating the entry. 'Pooka. From old Celtic mythology, a fairy spirit in animal form, always very large. The pooka appears here and there, now and then, to this one and that one. A benign but mischievous creature. Very fond of rumpots, crackpots, and how are you, Ms. Morgendorffer?' She gave a small exclamation and reread the entry. '"How are you, Ms. Morgendorffer?" Who in the encyclopedia wants to know?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A naked Daria Morgendorffer pranced about the room naked, as a number of young men and women (including Charles Ruttheimer, Kevin Thompson, Sandi Griffin and - surprisingly - Jodie Landon) watched from chairs placed against the far wall of the room."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Everybody Loves a Naked Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria crouched behind a lamppost and waited for the time to come. I can't believe I'm about to do this. I mean, when I was in high school I never would have considered it. But I guess since coming to Raft I've done a lot I never thought I'd do."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat alone in her room, where nobody ever went except Daria, where the only people were those in books. She'd entered Raft knowing nobody and a month later, she still knew nobody. The brief contact had seen her shunned and shunning in kind."

"I have the cutest little pores, don't I?"

On this day in 1998, Daria was featured in an issue of People Weekly as she judged the best and worst dressed people of 1998. While it sounds more like a job for the Fashion Club, some of her comments are way better than anything that foursome could have come up with.

Today was also an important date in fanfic history, as seen in Angelinhel's story 9.14.04. You may also want to read the prequel, 61501.

Fandom News!

• Deref has been adopted by a new cat! Check the thread to see a picture.


• Feeling nostalgic for nineties music? Share your opinions and favorites in the thread.


• How would you determine the quality vs quantity of a message board post?


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Charles RB's Darkwing Daria, Chris Tucker's Daria's Amazon wish list, and midnightstorm's Legion of Lawndale Super Villains.

"Hey, what's for dinner? Peanut butter sandwiches?"

Today is Positive Thinking Day! Somehow I doubt that Daria will be celebrating, but then again, she's had her moments:

Jane: Why, Daria, are you becoming an optimist?

Daria: Hmm...I'm not sure. Hold up your glass. Nope. Still half-empty.

Jane: Guess it was just a phase.

Today is also National Peanut Day, so munch a bunch of your nutty friend's lunch but watch out for those squirrels at the bus stop. Trent's still craving that peanut brittle, so if you see any, do pass it along.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian , by DeacBlue (part 6): "As her feet steadied, a smoke-roughened voice from ahead said, 'I hope you don't mind, but usually I get a room for meetings like that.' Daria blushed slightly. 'Sorry about that. I was hit by the great bull Kevin-Thompson.' She brushed the blonde girl's shoulders off. 'I'm Daria Morgendorffer, and you're..that's right, Jennifer, um, Burns?'"


• Bump in the Night, by Smijey (part 2): "Daria's first kill in Lawndale was a jogger she picked at random. She simply waited until one foggy morning, went out for a long walk, and tore the arms off the first person she spotted. In retrospect, this was not the best of plans, and demonstrated to her that Lawndale was incredibly different from Highland in more ways than she had initially imagined."


• Daria Unscripted, by Smijey (part 3): "Jane gaped in horror as she watched Daria enter the room on the other side of the glass, a sledgehammer slung over one shoulder."


• God Save The Esteem 35: I Don't Like Any Day, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "The teacher sped back the way she’d came, and the next day O’Neill proposed a school-run coffee house in town where all students could hang out and encouraged everyone to volunteer raising money. Nobody did (that’d involve work) but the damage had been done: Onepu had learned she could influence O’Neill. And that led to a day that would live in infamy as really, really sucking." (Part 2)


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 8): "'Miss Morgendorffer.... Miss Morgendorffer...' Reinhardt cupped his hands in front of his face to make an improvised megaphone and yelled at her. 'Yes?' 'I need you to get out the goldfish costume. Today you'll be wearing it so you can welcome the kids.' Goldfish costume? Huh?"


• Letting Go (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "The hurting hadn't stopped since Maryland. Writing My Day With D was supposed to be cathartic, or maybe reassuring. Some of that good stuff. She wrote about what a miserable person that girl was, so full of negativity, incapable of being happy, gaining satisfaction only by making others feel as low as her. What she couldn't bear to write, and what haunted her night and day since their fateful encounter was that Daria was right." (Part 2) (Epilogue)


• Mission Unfashionable, by JPAGC (prologue): "The red hair woman nodded, closed and locked the dressing room door. She than examined the small room: strangely, and in contrast to other dressing rooms she had been in, the walls went straight up to the ceiling and she could not hear anything from the store. Two stuffed chairs adorned the place. She suspended the clothes on a hook and examined the mirror. A quick observation and few pressing allowed the mirror to open, revealing behind it was a small alcove with a safe. She dialed the code into the digital lock and opened the safe’s door, retrieving small tape recorder and a large envelope from inside. She sat down, placed them on the other chair, opened the envelope and started the tape...."


• Promises Kept, by RLobinske (parts 1 and 2): "'You don't have to go,' Daria said. 'Nobody is holding a gun to your head.' 'They might as well be,' Jodie said. 'The sad reality is that Mack and I are stuck. Completely stuck. We're begging you for some moral, immoral or amoral support.' 'We don't care which,' Mack said. John said, 'We already have plans.' He glanced at Daria. 'We made them a year ago.'" (Part 2)


• Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JODIE: This is strange for me. I usually come with all that I need to know, but this is just some strange territory for me. ALISON: Don't say I turned you straight. JODIE: No you didn't. It’s just that you made a point last night and it hit too close to home for me. ALISON: What could that be? Because Jose was talking and not Ali. JODIE: You aren't just some one night stand."


• Star Trek: An Epic of Linneaic Proportions, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Ms. Allenby, an opportunity has come up. This is a great opportunity for a promising young Zoologist such as yourself. A research position has come up at the University of New Victoria on the planet of New Victoria, they are desperate for a qualified zoologist to assist in the beginning of cataloguing of the animals of the planet,' her supervisor and head of the UNA Zoology Department, Sirok said."


• Trix of the Trade, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "No wonder Quinn's still asleep, she mused. She must have gotten up in the middle of the night to draw more pictures. When she looked more closely at the drawing, though, she realized that it looked nothing like the childlike scrawls Quinn normally did. The proportions looked accurate--or at least accurate for a large humanoid rabbit, the details were expertly crafted, and the shading was done so well the picture almost looked three-dimensional. There's no way Quinn drew that. Mom or Dad must have. But why?"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: A Constrained Tale), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "Quinn leaned over the railing around the newest exhibit. 'What is that?' she asked, in the same awed, annoying way she asked at every new animal pen. Daria gazed indifferently into the large pit; a few rhinoceroses were grazing, looking as bored as she was. 'It's a unicorn,' Daria drolled."


• Young Love (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Today the underage drinkers, smokers were otherwise occupied, and so it was that as Tricia went to grab a weathered copy of Oedipus Rex from the shelf nearest the emergency door, its red FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY sign faded to the color of a week old scab, found herself pulled behind said door with a boxblade at her throat. 'Keep quiet. Scream and you die.' the boy's perpetually screaming voice was no less nakedly aggressive for all his efforts to lower it."

A Sad Anniversary

It's hard to believe that ten years have passed since the September 11th terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. I don't feel I'm eloquent enough to write any proper memorials for the day, but I will share a few items relevant to both 9/11 and Daria.

First, Glenn Eichler himself commented briefly on how Daria characters may have been affected by the events in an interview with Kara Wild. Also, the following fanfics either feature the attacks themselves or the aftermath:

• Across the Violet Sea by Dennis


• Darkness by The Angst Guy


• A Matter of Priorities by Richard Lobinske


• Nightmare by Erin Mills


• Nine-Eleven and Counting by The Angst Guy


• Ninety-Three by M Man


• Prepare for Bore by DW Death

Let's NOT Do the Lawndale Shuffle!

The musical "Cats," composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber and based on T. S. Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, closed on this day in 2000. O'Neill has apparently quit his job as a teacher to play one the characters in the musical, perhaps inspired by his stint as the Lawndale Lions mascot from "I Loathe a Parade." I hope his dancing and coordination have improved since then, for the audience's sake. Then again, maybe we just found out the real reason why the musical closed.

Here's the fandom news, although due to PPMB site upheaval I can't guarantee that I've caught everything and/or that all the links will stay the same. Let's give it a shot, though!

• For more information about the PPMB backup, look here.


• Discuss the Rugby World Cup 2011 and place your bets on the winner!


• Vukodlak posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria's Trash freakout.

Books, Bones McCoy, and Benefits

Happy International Literacy Day, everyone! Daria will of course be celebrating by reading a book or five, and I encourage the rest of you to do the same.

Today is also the 35th anniversary of the debut of Star Trek, a science fiction TV series you may have heard of. Apparently it has enjoyed a bit of popularity, particularly among "people in funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff." Live long and prosper!

Finally, September 8th was the day of the The Starry Night Ball that Kay Sloane planned as a benefit for the Lawndale Art Museum. Pity Helen couldn't make it.

Remember to observe International Literacy Day by reading the latest fanfic!

• Bump in the Night, by Smijey: "Daria shivered a few times as the night-time breeze brushed her exposed skin, sending goosebumps up and down it. Autumn was in the air, and she had another school year of being surrounded by morons to look forward to. An older van, brown, with a few dents and scratches, pulled up on the roadside next to her. 'Hey, little girl, you lost?' asked the man inside. He was overweight, balding, wore thick glasses, and looked completely unthreatening, yet everything about him screamed 'predator'. 'You want me to give you a lift somewhere?' he asked helpfully."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and a devil damned in perversity, ¡pero te quería, te quería! And there were times when I knew how you felt, and it was a hell to know it, my little one. Little Da, turned into brave Daria Morgendorffer."


• A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'What's so romantic about the Guest Room?' Tom asked as they entered the guest room. 'It's not the guest room itself, it's where it leads to,' Daria said enigmatically. Tom wasn't sure of what to say."


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 11): "(Suddenly Daria reaches up and grabs Sue by the throat, cutting her off mid-sentence) Daria: 'Up yours, Il Douche!' (Holding Sue's throat the entire time, Daria gets to her feet. She then knees Sue in the midsection, causing her to drop the mic, before throwing her back into the ring) Barch: 'Whoa! Where did this mean streak come from? This is almost Mad Dog-like!' O'Neill: 'Morgendorffer has simply had all she can stand, and she can stand no more! With the blood of her Hall Of Fame parents and her legendary grandfather running through her veins and down her face, she is destroying --- with these fists! --- can't defend herself at all here!'"


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 41): "Changes on the wall display seemed glacially slow, almost undetectable, yet Enro had lived less than two metabolic days since the Monstrator’s death. The allied forces were actually coming together at staggering speed; so, perforce, Enro’s improvised response had to, as well. But, so far, in this theatre, the League’s Grand Committee was displaying more focused, purposeful strategy than the upstart military genius could match."


• Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 6): "'Eeew...' Tiffany said once more. 'How...? How can something that big move like that?' Jodie wondered nervously. 'Maybe where they come from the square/cube law is more of a suggestion.' Daria pondered, her sarcasm a defense against her own growing apprehension. 'Gravity and inertia aren't nearly so daunting with the right knowhow.' Kokopelli said nonchalantly, 'But never mind that. It's our turn to strike...'"


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 7): "The next few days were a blur for James. Later, when trying to remember that time, he found it hard to distinguish what happened when. There was a memorial service at Lawndale Community College which he attended. Hans was buried on a Sunday, and as much as James wanted to go he couldn't make himself. He spent that day alone in his bedroom, lying in bed and wishing Daria didn't have to work at the pool all afternoon."


• Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (part 10): "DANI: No talkie today? You wanted me here. What happened? (no response from STACY) DANI: Hey, what's up? Talk to me. STACY: I think I did it with your brother."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Daria began to laugh hysterically as the introduction of Budoon's cigar smoking friends accompanied by Vegas trade show models who walked up/down/sideways on a red carpet to the six surfaced dais. 'Look, Jane, it's all so Titanic!' 'Well, yes, that part of the casino is. The architect was trained by M.C. Escher, so everything is either tesselated, or endlessly looped, or packed with asymmetrical congruent polygons plus all sorts of topological wack."


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Aware that something was amiss, Cat said, 'Dean Xao said that he had declined the lecturer position that he had been offered with your hiring, stating that he had employment elsewhere.' 'That's news to me,' Daria said. Oops. I'm guessing it's a big surprise and he wanted to surprise you.' Daria said, 'It had better be a good surprise, because Michael knows how much I dislike surprises.'"


• Trix of the Trade, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Daria pointed accusingly at her. 'When you got your glass of milk last night, did you put the carton back in the fridge?' Quinn glanced nervously at the milk and then back at Daria. 'Um...yes?' Daria glared. 'Sure you did. Then who took it back out of the fridge, so it could sit out overnight and spoil?' Looking everywhere but at her sister, Quinn answered, 'The Trix Rabbit.'"


• Unnamed story (IC: What would Lawndale be like if...), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Trent - Um... hello, Aunt Bernice. (lowers sunglasses) I like your hat. (Jane puts her hand to her head in an 'ah, jeez' gesture, then gets up to leave) Jane – I’ll be in the lounge."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria on the Oregon Trail), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Along the old Oregon Trail, a lone gravemarker, the carved words on an oaken plank still readable after a century of harsh weather...."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria on the Oregon Trail), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "The rampant epidemic of dysentary has broken out among the fleet's population continues unchecked. Of ten thousand colonists, four thousand three hundred and sixty five have become infected. The death toll is now at one thousand fourteen."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria on the Oregon Trail), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Wow,' Stacy said, 'I lost five pounds! This is great!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria's Trash freakout), by untra (COMPLETE!): "'Mom, can I talk to you?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn goes steady), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Quinn - But I can't cancel all my other dates. I have to stick to my commitments. Besides, I wrote them down in pen. Skylar - Wednesday, Eric? But he's my best friend! And who's Bob?"

God Save the Cheerleader!

One of England's most famous monarchs, Queen Elizabeth I, was born on this day in 1533. This would make her 478 if she were alive today, but I'm sure she doesn't look a day over 300. Brittany is posing as the other Queen Elizabeth, who I am assured is a bit younger than that.

In more recent news, the sports channel ESPN debuted on this day in 1979. I'm sure Kevin is glad it did, although he probably prefers the Pigskin Channel. ESPN has an annoying tendency to occasionally broadcast sports that are--gasp--not football!

Fandom News!

• Kara Wild posted an announcement about scheduled maintenance on September 8th.


• The rules for the 2011 Daria Fanworks Awards have been posted. Don't forget to nominate!


• Find out why LadieT and The Angst Guy have caused the PPMB apocalypse!


• Discuss Transformers and Muppets in their respective threads.


• Two new Iron Chefs posted in Creative Writing: Vukodlak's Daria on the Oregon Trail and JPAGC's Quinn goes steady.

Possibly Holiday Island's Laziest Student Ever

Happy Labor Day to everyone in the United States! Today is the day we celebrate working by, you know, not. Take a cue from Helen and Jake--just sit back and relax!

Er, at least until Eric calls. Or another Mad Dog flashback kicks in. But aside from that, it's a great time to chill!

Labor Day is always the first Monday in September, but on this specific day (September 5th), the very first Labor Day parade took place in New York City in 1882. No word so far if severed penguin heads or emergency toilet paper were involved, but let's all pretend they were.

Today also happens to be Be Late For Something Day, which Trent should have no problem with. Then again, knowing Trent, he might oversleep and end up being late for something tomorrow instead--thus being late for Be Late For Something Day. Just in case, why don't we leave it loose?

Finally, Daria and Jane might enjoy another random wacky holiday today: National Cheese Pizza Day. Although they might choose to put some pepperoni or sausage on it. Quinn will most likely prefer cheeseless, so I suppose she'll be celebrate National Bread With Tomato Sauce Day.

Whether you spend it working, relaxing, procrastinating, or eating pizza, have an excellent day!

Blink and You Missed It!

On this day in 1997, Daria and Jane appeared in a brief cameo on the MTV Video Music Awards. Wow. It's not every day you see the words "MTV," "Video," and "Music" in the same sentence anymore. It's no wonder this was from fourteen years ago!

Today's fanfic update is distressingly small, but here it is. Get writing already, people!

• First Day of Summer, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'What are you planning on doing this summer? I know you hated that Ok to Cry Corral place so I am giving you today to decide what to do. What do you say?' 'Ok,' Daria said flatly. Her mother looked concerned. 'Is that all? Just "ok"?' 'I will look around town and find something to do over summer. If there is anything of worth for someone like me in a 'burb like this I'll find it,' Daria said. 'I hope I can find something I will enjoy doing,' she thought."


• Quinn's Code 04: Geekery at the Mega-Mall, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'The Computer and Programming Clubs? I thought she was in the Anime Club.' 'She is in that club too, Dad!' Daria said, not looking up from her plate of lasagne. 'She is definitely overachieving. 'Say, what do you think of this PDA?' Jake said, as he took his PDA out of his pocket. Quinn looked at it. It's quite obsolete, Daddy. You may as well have a Newton,' she said with a slight nervous laugh. 'Now, if you drive me to the Mall of the Millennium...'"


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 18): "'Did someone die?' Kim asked very softly. She was no therapist, but as a profiler, getting into the heads of someone was part of the job. They just didn't have to be a killer. If Deputy Sheriff Mercer's bad memories were triggered by Daria's name in the past and the murders in the present, then something must have tied the two together, more than just Daria's name uttered under Kim's breath. 'Yeah. A girl. Homicide.' He replied, his eyes still glassy and distant looking, practically sightless."


• Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (part 9): "DANI: Why can't you wait 'til noon? STACY: Because we are a well-oiled machine of a radio show. DANI: No, we aren't! It's a controlled train wreck! STACY: So says you."


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (parts 11 and 12): "Leaning back in her chair, Daria said, 'This is good. My dad drinks martinis. Now, I can see the attraction.' Beside her, Cat said, 'As long as you don't make them with rotgut booze. Those can be bad. Very bad.' 'In that case, I'm glad I missed out and went straight to the good stuff.' 'Life is too short to spend it with bad booze.'" (Part 12)