ka-BOOOM!

It would be criminal to leave this day without mentioning that today marks the

102nd!

anniversary of the Tunguska Event, a titanic explosion whose origin is fiercely debated and whose existence has become a geek touchstone. (It was mentioned without explanation in Ghostbusters, and everyone who was a geek got it.) Some fascinating websites covering the Tunguska event include this one, this one, and this one. (Click on "tunguska event" under Labels to read previous blog posts about this burning issue.)

It was a good thing the event didn't occur over a major city—or, as Daria would put it...

Do you realize that only one Daria fanfic even mentions the Tunguska Event? ONLY ONE??? The shame of it. Okay, I lied: two others (here and here) also mentioned it. BUT ONLY THREE?

MoaR N00Z!

• ImYourOpheliac has created a new Iron Chef: Tom and Jeffy become friends? "I was watching 'One J at a Time' and wondered, how would it affect the show if Tom and Jeffy became friends?"
• Roxanne M created Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time (and what a response!)
• Charles RB has unleashed Iron Chef: Barch VS DeMartino. "Professionally, in sport, in post-apocalypse car-on-car warfare... whatever the situation or genre, DeMartino and Barch must battle in an all-out struggle."
  

NOTE: I am still adding fanfics to the previous post. There are so many lately I can barely keep up, but I will continue to try.

No pin-headed historical person could ever make that much sense

Thirteen years ago, it was time for "The Big House" to pop out of the TV tube. We got to see one of Andrea's big moments as she rooted for DeMartino's messy demise, and Helen's imitation of Moses, and the deliberate flouting of parental authority. And Daria sneaking home in some unknown person's car for reasons never explained. What was she doing out so late with no explanation?

Favorite lines:

• "Stop tiptoeing around like a geek. Have a little dignity, Daria." (Quinn)
• "Destroy our lives with your crushing rules and regulations? I can't breathe, Mother! I can't breathe!" (Quinn)
• "No pin-headed historical person could ever make that much sense." (ditto)
• "Don't you see how your rules are strangling me? Yes, I went on a date, but we're in love, and all the rules and regulations in the world can't stop that." "In love?" "With whom?" "His name is Cliff. Oop, no wait, it's Clint. I'm not positive, but I can find out at school." (Quinn and parents)
• "But a voice told him that his work here on Earth wasn't finished. Some of the students weren't wetting the bed yet." (Jane, finally)
• "Your father and I want you to have a fair hearing. Then we'll punish you." (Helen)
• "Bureaucracy is the price we pay for impartiality." "Jefferson!" "Stalin." (Helen and Jake)
• "This is a trick, isn't it?" "Yes." (Quinn and Daria)
• "I suspect you have some scam worked out for yourself, but since I can't prove anything, I'm asking you not to rat on me." "Hmmm, okay, yes, I will do this thing you ask. But one day, I may ask a favor of you." "Never mind." (Daria and Quinn)
• "Think anything has happened yet?" "You mean anything cool? Nah, the ambulance is still in the lot." (Daria and Jane)
• "So what happened? Does Daria have to pave the driveway or something?" (Quinn again)

True bliss that episode was.

GNUZ!

• Daria will be shown on Logo TV on July 8th. That's the LGT-I-forgot-all-the-other-letters channel. Why? you ask. Well, because of this. Never argue with scientistics.
• Who is the worst teacher in Lawndale High? Charles RB ignited a firestorm of commentary with this tidbit. Good going, sir!

FF.net

• Fresh TV—The Musical! by Mikata88 (Part 1): Curtain up. Interior, suburban house bedroom. Chris McLean from Total Drama is standing there with Mrs. Masterson (Jen's mom from 6teen) preparing for a busy day at work. Stanley from the mall rolls by on a Big Wheel, prompting Chris to break out in song. (Daria/Total Drama/6teen/others)
• The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 19 and 20): "Glad to be accepted so quickly." "Willow was part of it," he said. "I think she was embarrassed by something." "She gave me a hard time the first time I went to Sunnydale," Daria said. "It took her awhile to accept me. I'm glad to see she has." "She has," he said. "Good thing for me that you were in the area," Daria said. "I guess sometimes luck can be on my side." "Not entirely luck," Oz said. "I was meditating in Tibet when I got a sign that I needed to be in Kentucky on or about July 1." "Did this sign say 'One Way' on the other side?" (Daria/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
• Technicolor Dream, by Miss Pennyfeather (Part 3): If he just dropped his guitar and walked off the stage, would someone say something? Would Jesse run after him? And if he did run, would he be able to stop him? Where would he go anyway? The stage was the only place that made him do anything. He had no interest in living sometimes. Except when he was singing. But he couldn't sing forever. He had to do something in between. Maybe go on a journey. Only his maps were torn and stained. Penny had shown him his village once. It had looked good from the map, but in reality maybe it was a sad, glorious dump. Maybe he needed to go help some people. He couldn't help himself.
  

PPMB (working on the fanfics section now, sorry for the delay) (done, I think)

• NEW! The Cornfield, by Smijey (Part 1): Jake and Daria's eyes locked briefly for a second via the rearview mirror, then Jake broke contact. A memory rose unbidden in his mind: "Bring her back, Daria! For God's sake, BRING HER BACK!" (FF.net)
  
• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (Part 3): Ms. Barch gave a slight nod as if agreeing with the principal. Of course he's going to act differently, he isn't Daria. The Morgendorffers are playing some kind of sick game, and Daria is just a pawn. She then saw Ms. Li open the door and let Helen Morgendorffer inside. Ms. Barch's face hardened as the mother of her favorite student began talking about Daria's change to Dorian. The story has been rehearsed to perfection. Oh... so Daria is staying with an aunt... yeah, right. Aunty straightjacket maybe. I wonder where they shipped her off to. She listened as her co-workers asked the lawyer a tremendous amount of questions. Helen answered them without pause or hitch. I had heard she was a good attorney, now I see why. She has an answer for everything, and they are buying it hook, line and damn sinker. We are all educated people. They can't be falling for this crap can they? They are acting worse than Kevin Thompson on a bad day. (FF.net)
  
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): Artie paced back and forth. He clawed at the sides of his head, fingernails scraping against the cloth of his cap before leaving red trails on the skin of his cheeks before moving back up to start again. His eyes never stopped moving, flitting here and there in a desperate attempt to see something that wasn't there yet. Every once in a while he would glance nervously over at Axl, but the hacker was deep in his own mental world, a place where Artie couldn't go. Trying to access the mental link to the computer even through the most basic electrode crown gave him incredible headaches.
• Finn Morgendorffer 51: A Matter of Trust, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Daria didn’t have any classes in Avery Hall, but she knew where it was. Just before the group meeting started, she took a quick glance through the door’s glass pane to see how many people were there: about two dozen, with a sixty-forty split between male and female. How many of them were screenwriters? The poster said they specifically wanted to recruit some, so not many? If they were screenwriters, how many of them were devoted to it, or were they just moonlighting? Daria wasn’t sure if she should go in or not. They’d look at her just like people did in high school. They’d make comments about weirdness or egg-headedness. The guys would say she was ugly, the girls would probably comment on her boots and being a lesbian.
  
• For Honor! by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): “Ms. Li, I must say this is horribly unethical!” "Not to mention stupid!” “Humph. Mr. O’Neill, Mrs. Barch, it is not your place to judge my choices. I will bring glory to Laaawndale High!” “You seem to lack even the slightest idea of how genetics work.” “I don’t need to know, that‘s your job.” “And who might you be planning to carry this baby?” “You can’t keep it in a tube or something?”
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (continued): Jane nudged open the guard room door, peered out, and saw that the lights were out. I probably shouldn't run around blindly, waving heavy guns. My reputation is iffy enough, already.... Let's see: there's always an evacuation route posted, with a map; where would that be?
• Grove Hell on Earth, by Charles RB (continued): As they came up to the broken-down black van on the side of the road, Rob stared in shock and went: “Oh my god. It’s the A-Team.” “I don’t know,” said Daria, taking a closer look at the filthy machine. “I’m not sure it’s meant to be black.” By the van, two young men—a lanky, sleepy faced man with an attempt at a beard and a blank-eyed long-haired youth with a leather vest and no other top; the very thing you’d imagine if you heard the word “slacker” or “student band” —were looking at their engine in dismay. “Looks like they need a hand.” Rob pulled over to park. “And it looks like that one needs a shirt,” said Daria. (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 40): "So tell me, Quinn, what classes are you taking?" "I don't know. Don't we have until Christmas to decide that?" "Christmas?" cried Jill. "You have to decide today! The deadline is at 5 pm! My God!" Jill leaped up. "You have until 5 pm to register for all of your classes next term." "Oh, shit!" Quinn said. "I left my application form in my room! There's no way I can get it!" (FF.net)
  
• In the Doldrums, by Erin Mills (COMPLETE!): The light blue sedan pulled up in front of Lawndale Elementary School, near the designated entrance for first graders. On the other side of the chain link fence adjacent to the building, a variety of elementary school students played, chatted, and otherwise ran rampant over the playground and sports field, enjoying the last few precious minutes before the bell rang and they would be forced to line up and go into the building to start another day of classes. Inside the car, Jake and Helen Morgendorffer turned to face the backseat, smiling brightly. "Okay, kiddo, here it is! Your new school!" Jake said, grinning. "Isn't it exciting?" Helen added. "I bet you can't wait to get in there and make all sorts of new friends." In the back seat, a young girl with long brown hair, about six years old, looked at her parents from behind overly large glasses that she had yet to grow into and said in a quiet voice, "I don't wanna go." (FF.net)
  
• It's a Living, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): “In this exciting episode of The World’s Greatest Fisherman, our hero has just finished his battle against the Art Maestro, and now he faces his greatest challenge yet! Red Snapper and Cynica, teamed up for the first time, with a special guest villain! Will he come out on top, or will he be defeated by his two strongest foes? Stay tuned, after this important message from McGregor Facial Tissues. You can never have enough facial tissues.”
  
• Kabti-Ilani-Marduk, by Malakite (Part 3): Quinn's heart caught in her throat as she approached the phone. She'd made it to about five feet away when she heard what she'd been dreading. "Quinn? What are doing near the phone? I know you couldn't possibly be finished with your homework, and you know how I feel about that." Quinn, for her part, froze in her tracks as soon as Daria spoke. She managed to find her voice, or at least a squeaky wavering knockoff of it, and replied, "I have to call Maggie?"
• Life in the Past Jane, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “I’d shake hands, but...” Jane Lane looks like she’s been swimming in paint. Notorious for her sporadic output—long lazy periods followed by 24/7 bursts of work—she’d just happened to get some inspiration on the day of this interview. She showed little embarrassment about the mess in her studio and on her clothes, revealing the laconic personality that made her so famous on MTV’s reality show, Daria.
  
• Life's Little Mix Ups, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "I know, I'm sorry. I've just felt awkward. I mean, Jane then you... I feel like I was using you, Daria. I can't believe I even mentioned Jane." "She had already told me anyway," Daria said with a sigh. "She felt guilty. Anyway, Tom, you know how I had to go the hospital?" "Oh, yeah. You said you thought you had a bug. Are you feeling okay?" Daria remained silent. "Is everything alright?" The doorbell rang. "Someone's at the door." Tom got up. Daria was whispering something but Tom couldn't hear her. "Daria, you'll have to speak up. I can't hear you." He realized she was crying. "Daria, are you crying? What happened!? Are you alright?" He said this as he opened the door and saw Jane standing there, ready to kill. "Jane? I'm kind of bu—"
• The Name Game, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): They’d had the misfortune to turn up at the hospital at the same time. With, quite visibly, the same man’s fetus. Jane looked around the waiting room, desperately trying to find a distraction; Daria simply looked down at her boots. After an eternity, Jane said: “So... should we give them matching names?”
  
• Poltricks Are Not for Kids, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer drops two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a highball glass on her desk. She watches a row of TVs tuned to assorted networks. She glares ferociously at the middle TV, currently showing a tall woman in a dark blue suit finishing up an address.
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): "So, how's that insomnia treatin' ya?" Jane asked once they were outside. "If I could be sure I'd be learning anything worthwhile, I'd wish I was this alert every day in school," the other girl replied. "It's almost like being hyper awake. Even the dark seems to be vibrating right now." "That's probably what Quinn feels like all the time."
  
• That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (continued): "Though completely lost in class, I can run, catch and pass, and tackle when we've stunk. Thanks to these specific skills, Ultra Cola pays the bills, so I never, never flat-out flunk!" "What, never?" "No, never!" (Daria/H.M.S. Pinafore)
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
  

Intellectually Gifted and Morally Bankrupt

Twelve years have passed since "Gifted" premiered on MTV. Daria and Jodie elected not to go to a high-pressure school where they would have to work hard to prepare for college. They would be surrounded by idiots, but they were already surrounded by idiots at Lawndale High, and lazy idiots at that. Lazy was the way to go.

Really great school fanfics like "Regifted" and "The Hallowed Halls of Fielding" make you wonder if Daria and Jodie made the wrong decision. (True, "Grove Hell on Earth" makes you think maybe Daria did the right thing, but still...) I mean, so the two of them would have to be around idiots. They get such a rich exposure to knowledge, how could they think they were making a mistake? They gave up some pressure, but it could have made them shine. Instead, they chose to rust on the heap with the other idiots.

It's a hard call. If they were going to be miserable in school, at least they could have made it worth something. Daria would lose Jane, true, and Jodie would lose Mack. And the series wouldn't be the same. But still...

Enough of that. Back to reality. Happy 12th birthday to "Gifted," which did indeed make us think.

Oddly enough, this is also the 12th anniversary of the last time that one of the oldest Daria fan sites was updated. We pay our respects to alt.lawndale.com and wish it the best.

My favorite quotes from "Gifted":

• "The Telltale Heart? I love romance novels!" (Brittany)
• "It's just a visit, Daria." "That's what they told J.F.K." (Helen and Daria)
• "Sandi has to beat them off with a stick." (Linda. I love that line.)
• "Should I fluff your shoelaces?" (Sam, to Quinn)
• "All right, I'm afraid! There's mass serial puppy killers and stuff. Come on. Please?" (Quinn, to Jane—shame that slash thing never got off the ground)
• "Oh, yeah. Daria's sister. Hey." "Excuse me, I have a name." "Right. Daria's sister." (Trent and Quinn)
• "Take... her... now." (Jane)

Moar on the way.

Quiet Ivy and Loud Family fights

A decade ago today, we were treated to "Psycho Therapy," in which we learn a lot about Helen we already knew or suspected. We then learned Daria was okay with her mother and father exactly as they were. She knew she couldn't change them. Daria even saved the family from disintegration. Jake and Helen hugged and all was back to normal.

This was definitely not the season 1 & 2 Daria. All that talk about shooting her mother, then she does something noble and sweet. Wonder if Daria's kids will be as kind to her. Best line from Daria: "Gee, look at the time. 1984 all ready." Loved Quinn's Cleopatra moment, too.

Most interesting line was from Helen in the parking lot, to Daria: "Look what I've done to my family! Your father feels completely neglected and resentful. I've shut you out so many times, you don't even try to talk to me, and Quinn... well, I can't even think about what happened there, not right now. Oh my God, Daria! You didn't hear that!" Oooooh, boy.

A dozen years ago today, we were treated to Daria and Jane as our hosts in MTV's "Top 10 Animated Videos Countdown." ("My arms! I can't move my arms!") The winning video was Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer." Those were the days when Daria came on MTV on Monday nights at 10:30 p.m. EST. I missed it all, didn't have MTV at the time. Dang.

Happy birthday today to legendary movie-man Mel Brooks, who turns 84 and hasn't quit working once. Can never say enough good things about his stuff. Love it. Stay tooned.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): Ms. Li looked at her watch. The Morgendorffers were due at any moment. She thought about the conversation she'd had with Helen a few days earlier. She took out both sets of permanent records she had been keeping since Daria first arrived at the beginning of her sophomore year, then quickly scanned them to make sure the grades were identical. She then began to contemplate about to do with the soon-to-come windfall.
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): "Okay, hate to burst your bubble, pal, but we cut through two patrols on our way down here like scissors through paper," Jane said. "Send everything you've got. We can handle it." "Hmm, yes," the Engineer mused. "Even without the help of Axl and his favorite little toy, your guns do give you a bit of an advantage. So let's just fix that, shall we?"
• NEW! Farther Up the Loop, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "I would like to show President Sloane my gratitude for his support during the recent unpleasantness, but I'm afraid my constituents have been quite vocal that they won't stand for his brand of—" "Aw, that's cute." "He's been listening to his constituents again."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 51: A Matter of Trust, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Dude, it’s not like that!” Finn protested with more than a little bit of annoyance. “She’s my girlfriend, and we’re not going to be those long-distance phone call relationship things. I’m going up to see her.” “So it’s just a visit?” Jeffy teased. “You’re not going to do any of the things you were bragging out with her for a week after the State game.” “No! Well, well, yes, but this isn’t some two-hundred mile booty call. I’m going to see a good college that my girlfriend has intimate knowledge of.” “Heh, intimate knowledge,” Jamie teased.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (continued): The young woman's eyes flicked open before the rest of her body could move. Where was she? She couldn't place it. A carpeted floor, somewhere. But she knew that almost-taste at the back of her throat. Drae. In powder form. Her clothes felt intact, which at least rendered one classic usage of Drae less probable. (Daria/World of Null-A)
• In the Loop, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "I'm giving this to Jane." "Please, don't. Not the Red Death."
  
• Kabti-Ilani-Marduk, by Malakite (Parts 1 and 2): Jane Lane, Artist Extraordinaire, listened with half an ear to what that mega-bitch Daria (as if her ability to stuff her bra made her special) and her little lesbian toady Sandi were saying half a table away as they ate lunch. [NEW! Part 2: Linda Griffin listened to that self-satisfied, fat-chested Helen Morgendorffer (what kind of name was that anyway?) gloat about how smart her four-eyed little rugrat in the vomit green shirt was with a growing sense of irritation. "Oh yes, Daria is more than ready to begin kindergarten this year. In fact, I'm a little worried that she may find it too simple." Linda was torn between the urge to just nod, indulging this tiresome narcissist in her delusions, and her desire to argue and snipe and take the ludicrous bitch down a peg. As always, the second impulse won out.]
• NEW! Legion of Lawndale Heroes Special: Tokusatsu Team Up! by LSauchelli (continued): On the other side of the world, the town of Angel Groove was under attack. A lone Power Ranger was defending it from a monster that looked like it had escaped from an episode of Sailor Moon. It was a six foot woman with blue skin and tires all over her body.
  
• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 14): It was the smile that Kevin noticed when he arrived. “Whoa, Daria! What's got you in such a good mood?” Daria buried the smile and affected her flattest monotone. “What are you talking about, Kevin?” “Well, now you look more like Daria, but you were just smiling there. I've never seem you smile like that, not even when we lived through that hurricane in junior year.” “Don't worry, Kevin,” Daria deadpanned. “I promise you'll never see it again.” “Why not?” Kevin asked. “You're so much prettier when you smile.” He winced as he realized what he'd just said. “Sorry, Daria. Please don't yell at me.”
• NEW! Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 12): The seminar room for Prof. Federova's Western Civilization class was a spartanly appointed classroom in the second floor of the Bradford Building. There were no advanced teaching aids; the walls held just a blackboard and a world map (Mercator projection). That was all that Prof. Federova needed. She had a sharp tongue and was not afraid to use it on students who came to class unprepared or who employed sloppy thinking. Daria was the first to arrive.
• NEW! Run on Tommy—Run On..., by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Hi, I'm—" Jodie said. Tommy turned to her and looked her up and down. Behind him, the crates suddenly began to shift. "Watch out!" Jodie screamed as she grabbed his arm and led him forward. The crates just missed crushing them, however. "You must be Jodie! They told me you where smart, no one mentioned how beautiful you were." Jodie was taken back by his comment. She looked over at the crates. Tommy seemed unfazed. "Yes, I'm Jodie Landon, a student representative for Lawndale High," she said as she offered her hand to shake his. "I hear your going to make a speech about me." Jodie just looked back at the crates. "Well—yes, but..." Jodie said nervously. Something seemed off about this guy.
  
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): "Oh, hello, Stacy! How are you this evening?" The sickly-sweet tones of Timothy O'Neill's voice hit Stacy's ears like sticky tree sap. She walked up the shallow stairway to the entrance of Nick's, sighed, and said, "I'm fine, Mr. O'Neill, thanks for asking." "Oh my goodness!" he said, severely distressed at her tone. "It doesn't sound like everything is fine! Is there anything I can do for you? You know, I was just reading about this great form of therapy that involves banging a drum while talking about your problems and innermost thoughts. I think I can find a drum if—"
• That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (continued): "My fault. I forgot I had to tell you about that verse. The next verses are six lines in an A-A-B-C-C-B rhyming scheme, so chime in after the sixth line or, if you forget, the third rhyme."
• When Tommy Goes Lurching Home, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The first thing Tommy noticed was that he was stuck in a coffin: pitch-black, enclosed, a prison. The second was that it was f***ing boring down there. I mean, dude, they could've buried him with some porn or something, right? What's a guy supposed to do down there? Screw this man, Tommy Sherman is getting out.
• Winners and Losers, by Malakite (COMPLETE!): Jodie Landon's gaze was fixed on the back of the auditorium as she finished the unpalatable saccharine speech she'd just been forced to deliver with her introduction of the god-awful egomaniac jackass it had been written for. "And now, without further adieu, the man of the hour—Tommy Sherman!" There was smattering of somewhat polite applause as Tommy took his place at the podium, and Kevin Thompson wailed out in glee.
  

Which Holiday Shall I Celebrate First?

A scene from this Daria story took place 41 years ago today. Today is also a bunch of interesting holidays rolled into one. We have:

• National Paul Bunyan Day
• Captain Kangaroo's 83rd birthday anniversary
• Canadian Multiculturalism Day (in Canada, of course)
• Mixed Race Day (in Brazil)
• National HIV Testing Day, and
• Seven Sleepers' Day (in Germany).

How you plan to celebrate all that is up to you. Good luck. Stay tooned.

NEWER! Charles RB has created a new Iron Chef: Tommy Sherman has risen from the grave! Go there and do your best!

And on to the fanfiction.

PPMB

• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): "Daria, your little SIDEKICK is talking to me again as if I give ONE SINGLE DAMN ABOUT WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY!" Jane's jaw dropped. "Amazing! We're in the middle of a deadly situation, he's stuck in a cell and we're the only ones who can get him out, and he's still picking on me!" "Hey, you," Daria told DeMartino, "stop picking on my sidekick." As DeMartino's face split into a wide grin, Jane fixed her partner with a steely glare. "You are so not helping things," she said.
• NEW! Don Jake and the WTF Plot Twist, by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "What’s that sound?" "Sounds like a jet engine." "Damned airlines. Can’t even go on a damn hike without hearing their damn jets." "Jake..." "I don’t see anything. It should be getting closer if it’s getting this loud." "What’s that?"
• NEWEST! First Born, by RLobinske (Part 1): Michael Fulton leaned forward over the steering wheel of the car he and his wife Daria Morgendorffer had rented at the Gainesville Airport. Heavy, driving rain made visibility almost nonexistent as he tried to stay on the narrow, two-lane road. "Did a hurricane move in and somebody forget to tell us? I can hardly see where we're going, let alone our turn." Daria pointed to a device on the dashboard. "Follow the GPS." "And end up like one of those delivery trucks stuck between two buildings?" "According to Karen, we're more likely to end up stuck between two horses' asses around here."
  
• Judith Strikes! Tidings of Comfort and Joy, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): Amy quit talking in a hurry when she saw the figure in the doorway. A silhouette, short in stature, long in shadow, stood in the door. "My favorite aunt." The silhouette stepped into the light. It turned out to be a young woman, nineteen or maybe twenty years of age. Her boots were thick and black. Her cloak was red. What little of her oval face could be seen under the heavy hood was flat and affectless, the mouth drawn into a cold sneer. "Who's she today?"
• NEW! Judith Strikes! Wraithkiller, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Sorry, Ian, but don't worry. You and Anastasia are going to appreciate getting your old rings back in the future," Judith said as she removed a tarnished, copper ring from the severed hand she held. "And you'll be happy little Ringwraiths." The woman in the red cloak kicked the bloody body that the hand had belonged to. Then, she tilted her head up and said, "I love the smell of paradox in the morning. It smells like vengeance." (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): The sun had nearly gone down by the time the convoy pulled into Erbie Motel's parking lot, which was completely spare except for an old model sedan and a large van that looked as if it had been painted over with house paint. Nick's Inn, as far as anyone could see, was completely deserted, and both motels stood as evidence that tourist season hadn't started yet and probably wouldn't for at least a few more months. Principal Angela Li was the first to step down onto the cracked asphalt. She took a few steps forward and inhaled a deep breath of the fresh spring air, then exhaled it back out into the cooling evening sky. She then turned to the row of buses behind her and held her hands into the air dramatically. "All ashore, everyone!" she called out, motioning to the drivers and teachers to start getting the children disembarked.
• That Infernal Nonsense, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): "They call me Mack Daddy—not Mack, but Mack Daddy, though I could never tell why, but always it's Mack Daddy—not Mack, but Mack Daddy, forever a Mack Daddy, I!" (Daria/H.M.S. Pinafore)
• Unnamed story (SHINING STAR: A new shared Dariaverse setting), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): [An absolutely perfect ficlet by a talented and wonderful author!]
• NEW! The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "I'm fascinated by that object you hold in your hand, Dr. Morgendorffer. May I ask how you obtained it and what you do with it?" "This? I got it from another patient. I keep it as a souvenir of an extremely difficult case that continues to ramify in several new dream dimensions, some of which may attain the status of full grown universes should they become stable. As to what it is, I only know a small part of what it can do. It has mysteries that haven't chosen to reveal themselves to me at this time."
  

35 Years of Wedded Something-or-other

It's been thirty-five years to the day. How time flies. Congratulations, Helen and Jake, for making it this long without going completely insane. Or driving your children insane. Good show. Click on the image for the full-size thing.

We ought to make this a fandom holiday. I should check to see what fanfics have been done about Helen and Jake's wedding or whatever it was. BRB.

LATER: Back. Here are some fanfics that mention or describe the commitment ceremony, however briefly, in no particular order.

• Psychoed, by Thomas
• Fireworks, by C.E. Foreman
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 2: Let's Get Physicals! by HolyGrail2007
• Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007
• Falling into College 24: Silver Lining, by RLobinske (25th anniversary in 2000)
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Daria and Michael got married on this day seven years ago!)
• Knockin' on Heaven's Gate, by Northampton
  
• Driven Wild Universe: The Age of Cynicism, by Kara Wild (see end notes)
  
• The Winters of Those Gone Before, by Brother Grimace (X-rated, so no link)
• Snowflakes
• and a nameless but wonderful ficlet by A.J.
  

Some years ago I recall reading another by Mike Xeno, but it seems to have vanished. Rats. Moar soon.

ANOTHER LATE NOTE: Found it!

• Committed, by Mike Xeno

Hooray!

YET ANOTHER LATE NOTE: Almost OVER 175,000 HITS on this blog! Thank you, everyone!

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• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): "Mack Daddy? Hey, Mack Daddy! Can you hear me, Mack Daddy? Hellooooooo? Mack Daddy, Mack Daddy, Banana Fanna Bo Baddy, Me Mi Mo Maddy! Mack Daddy!" Finally losing his temper, Mack slammed the bottom of his fist against the transparent plasteel wall of the cell. "Shut up!" he yelled at the man on the other side. "I told you to stop calling me that!" Kevin Thompson's eyes grew wide at the display, and he held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, bro! Didn't mean to bother you, bro! You okay, bro? Are we cool?"
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Well done, Finn.” Rita kissed him on the cheek. “Ballsy move, throwing to that guy,” Amy remarked. It was praise, in her own special way. “This is an accomplishment you’ll remember your whole life, I still can’t believe it’s happened,” Helen noted. She was looking very oddly at Aunt Rita. Wouldn’t she be surprised to figure out Rita’s the one who stood up to Mr. O’Neill and broke him down.
• NEW! Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): "Heeeey, babe," Kevin Thompson said as smoothly as he could, his dopey bedroom eyes in full effect. "Yes, Kevvie?" Brittany Taylor cooed back, her bubblepop voice turned just a couple of notches down from its usual squeak. "I totally got something, like, extra special for this field trip." Brittany's heart skipped a beat as visions of jewelry and other delights began to dance in her head. "Oh?" she said nonchalantly. "And what would that be, sweetie-Kevs?" "Well, I'll show you," he said seductively, then reached up to grab his duffel bag from the overhead rack. He pulled the zipper across with a flourish, then slowly put his hand inside and pulled out a wrapped package to hand to his excited girlfriend. "Oh, Kevvie!" Brittany squealed as she tore open the wrapper. "It's... it's... it's a paintball mask?!"
  
• Stolen, by Malakite (Part 1): She had been in science class, twirling a finger through her blonde hair as she listened with half an ear to those two little trolls give an offensive but technically correct account of the shuttle disaster. Then the little pyros had set off a firecracker... and then... and then... she decided to look around. At first she didn't see anything. She came to believe it was because there was nothing to see, then at last she realized with a sense of somewhat dull shock that she had no eyes to see with.
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by LSauchelli (teaser): Daria touched the wall where the vortex was supposed to be. She couldn't find any way to activate it, she guessed there was some sort of password that opened the portal. Not that she wanted to have anything to do with it just yet. "You're still hurt from your encounter with the Joker. I will be up all night, so I want someone to watch over my sister." "But—" "I pay you to do what I say, not what you find convenient," she said and sighed. "Go, sleep now, help Quinn later."

Out of the Box

Lots of stuff going on today in Daria history. Nine years ago today, the last Daria episode aired on MTV: "Boxing Daria." We got to look at her early life in Highland when she didn't get along with others, and ended with her a senior in high school, only marginally getting along with others.

Seven years from this day, one of Daria's daughters gives birth. In which fanfic does this occur?

Eleven years ago today, the last names of Stacy Rowe and Tiffany Blum-Deckler were revealed on the MTV website. A banner day indeed.

Fandum N0OoZ!

• Lord Akiyama has drawn Daria as she might have looked if he had taken MTV's loose guidelines and run with it. Amazing.
• NEW! We also have Angel Quinn from MDetector5 on the new art channel. Thank you!

More to come, for sure. And here it is.

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• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): After breakfast, Dorian helped Jake decorate the outside of the house. Jane jogged by and froze in place. Dorian was covered in Christmas lights that had fallen out of Jake's hands. Jane's laughter caused Quinn to go outside. She joined Jane on the sidewalk. "And me without my camera." Jane wiped a tear from her eye.
• Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 9): “I should get going.” Daria remarked. “And you should probably get dressed.” “Hm.” Trent looked down at his barely clad body. “Well, Monique is coming over, so I think I’m good.” “Now I really need to leave.”
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 39): In ten minutes, Quinn would enter her English I class and Goodlett would be waiting for her. This was it. The big showdown. Goodlett was planning to assassinate her. Unless I kill him first. Really, he's made it clear that I'm going to flunk. I guess he was hoping that I wouldn't show up, or transfer out, or beg for mercy or something. But I'm more than willing to waste his time if that's the case. She only hoped that her plan would work.
• Judith Strikes! Cat Scratch Fever, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): While Judith amused herself by going to Lawndale, Maryland (and ordering a meal from the Good Time Chinese restaurant, knowing that her presence near the trans-dimensional portal in the back would ring a lot of alarms, as this reality was watched over carefully) – her cloak silently moved across the darkened yard of the Morgendorffer-Fulton home in Williamstown, Virginia. It had been given a mission of its own to fulfill this night.
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (Part 2): High-strung history teacher Anthony DeMartino's eye bulged and his nostrils flared as he crossed his arms and surveyed the mass of teenage humanity spread out before him. Though Lawndale was not by any means a particularly large or densely populated school district, he found that trying to help herd everyone grades 9 through 12 who had managed to get their permission slips signed looked as if it was going to be just as arduous and impossible as he had been fearing over the past seven days.
• Undefeated, by LadieT (previously published on FF.net)
• NEWER! The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (COMPLETE!): The little group of hobos were holding an emergency evening service in the former dime store on High Street. As each member entered, a libation of Cisco Red was poured on the concrete sidewalk and the words "Absit Omen" were uttered. Prayers were spoken, written, crumpled and burned. Their leader, Erica Flamen, bundled up in her green "Members Only" jacket, kept dancing on the checkout counter as they clapped and droned their drug-fueled invocation...
  

Unidentified Flatulent Objects?

Hard to believe that only 63 years ago, the modern age of the UFO began with the sighting of nine flying objects near Mt. Rainier by pilot Kenneth Arnold. This curious moment in history is sometimes now called UFO Day, and we celebrate it as such here. Are UFOs from alien worlds? Is there a conspiracy keeping the truth from us? Could Beavis and Butt-head have anything to do with it? Keep watching the skies!

In other historical news, it was only 636 years ago today that one of the first known cases of dancing mania broke out. It appeared in Aachen, Germany, then spread across Europe and affected thousands of people who danced uncontrollably until they collapsed. Despite all rumors, the outbreak had nothing to do with disco, which was a much later disaster.

NuuZ!

• Jezebel.com features another Daria article: "Daria & Fashion: A Few of My Favorite Things." Enjoy.

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• Anti-Trope, by Minx (continued): Heather dug the remote from between the cushions, turned off the television after the closing credits began to roll then turned to Dean and watched his brow furrow as he seemed to be dealing with an inner moral conflict. She smiled and placed a hand on his thigh, "Are you okay? You look troubled," she said. "Huh? No I'm okay," he said a little startled, "Just trying to think of something to pass the time before I have to go back and meet up with my family," he lied as his eyes fell to her hand. Had he actually been paying attention to the outside world, he would have realized the time to meet his parents had come and gone. "I can think of something," she said in a slightly seductively tone as she leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.
• NEW! Bathing with Archimedes, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Dr. Frumsworth explained that glasses shouldn't cause a problem unless have a very specific combination of myopia and astigmatism correcting optics that could interact with the field to convert other electromagnetic wavelengths to UV as they pass through the system." Jack said, "Then taking her out into the sunlight was a bad idea." "Sounds like it," came Daria's voice. Henry partially climbed up the sculpture and held the scanner over the edge of the tub "Daria, can you look at the scanner so that I can get your prescription?" "How about if I take off my glasses?" "Don't. If they are the cause of the malfunction, removing them would disrupt the field and bathe you in a dangerous level of UV radiation." (FF.net)
  
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): The two agents excused themselves from the small group that they had been talking to and made their way over to the table, where Jane stopped them before they could speak. "No no no," the bounty hunter said. "Before anything else, I wanna hear some names." The agents frowned. "No names," the male agent said. "It's better that—" "Bzzt!" Jane cut them off. "Wrong answer! Look, I enjoy the whole cloak and dagger bit as much as anybody. But trying to refer to you two in any specific way without names is getting more than a little annoying, especially when we're surrounded by your extended three-piece family, okay? Before you give Daria the third degree, you're going to cough up some damn names, whether they're real or not. Got it?" The agents looked at each other, then back at Jane. "Agent Bealer," the woman said. "Agent Moore," the man followed.
• Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 8): “Are you ready for this, Finn?” Amy asked. Her voice made the words almost seem as a challenge, but Finn didn’t mind. “No second chances, I’d better hope so.” Finn answered. Amy smirked at the answer. “I’m so proud of you, Finn. All your effort has been rewarded.” Rita praised. “Thanks, Aunt Rita, but I haven’t won yet. And we should get going. It’s going to be a long day.” Finn noted, and the family agreed. Finn wondered if they were as nervous as he was going into this game. There was a phenomenal difference between the audience and a player, but when it came down to it, they wanted this victory for Finn as much as he wanted it, and they could only watch and cheer, powerless to affect it.
• NEW! Grove Hell on Earth, by Charles RB (Part 5): Crisis erupted, fast and terrible, and Amelia’s attempts to hold it back had only made it worse. “I’m using those bushes next!” yelled Daria as Amelia scurried off. She saw Rob’s expression. “No, really. Saves another stop later on. ‘Work smarter, not harder,’ as Mum used to say before she noticed Quinn was doing neither.” “I don’t trust you,” he said abruptly. “I don’t know what your game is, but Amelia’s had enough grief in her life.” “Excuse me?”
  
• Lawndale's Finest: Actions Stories #4, Power Struggle, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): The electrical discharge tore through empty air as Jane stepped to the side. She felt her skin prickle as it went past, barely missing her, but she didn't have time to breath a sigh of relief. Livewire tossed another bolt her way, then a third, forcing her to focus entirely on dodging. After another blast passed her by, she swung all the way around to the other side of her attacker, the massive g-forces of moving so fast in so small an arc causing darkness to press around her vision for a second. (FF.net)
  
• Raft College: The First Year, by Rglovejoy (Part 11): Stacy was laying on the towel next to her, listening to her iPod. Quinn looked over at her friend and tapped her shoulder. "Stacy, could you pass me the tanning lotion?" The pigtailed girl immediately rolled over to face Quinn. "Of course," she said as handed the bottle over. "I hope it's working for you." "Oh, it's fine, Stacy. I just have really sensitive skin, being a redhead and all. You're so lucky, your skin does a lot better in the Sun." Stacy smiled happily at the compliment. "I was thinking, since we're both seniors now and stuff, what're you gonna do for next year? I mean, are you still thinking about going to Pepperhill?"
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (Part 1): The little girl desperately wishes to fall asleep. It is an almost nightly chore, the struggle to find just a few more precious minutes of sleep before she is called upon to go back out into the world to suffer its slings and arrows. It's so much easier to bear when she's gotten a proper eight hours, but those days are few and far between. Most night, like this one, continue in frustrated silence as she stares helplessly at the ceiling and hopes for a reprieve. She has little understanding of this affliction. Mommy and daddy have sent her to doctors and clinics, spending as much and sometimes more than they can afford to find a reason if not a cure behind the insomnia, but to little avail. It is simply her unnatural condition, to remain awake when by all rights she should be asleep, dreaming dreams of far away lands of magic and mystery.
• Stuck Inside of Howard with the Crewe Neck Blues, by Brian Taylor (Prologue): Weekends with Helen Barksdale were something that Daria and Quinn had both come to dread. Good days involved forced conversation and an attitude of artificial cheeriness that usually broke down into awkward silences which stretched on for minutes (with luck) or hours (without). Bad days started at awkward silence and progressed to Daria holing up in what she liked to call the Guest Room Perilous, Quinn mutely watching MTV on the living room sofa, and Helen barricading herself in her office and yelling at junior associates over the phone.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite (Part 9): Sandi smirked slightly at Quinn's somewhat doubtful look as it reflected from her full-length mirror. "I don't know, Sandi" she said softly, before continuing with more confidence. "The black is slimming." Sandi smiled at this as she replied, "Not that you need it." "And this grey stripe is subtly bust-enhancing," Quinn continued with her critique. Here, Sandi ran her hand lightly over Quinn's chest as she whispered in her ear, "Yes, it is." "But these holsters... I'm worried they make my thighs look fat."
  

Computers R Evil

My 'pooter lost its Internet connection yesterday, back again, sorry about the delay. This blog has previously noted that today is an important day in the Computer Age, but computers still suck when they won't work properly.

Anyway, Happy Midsummer to one and all, hope yours is a good one.

The Beavis and Butt-head episode "Babes 'R' Us" first aired on MTV 17 years ago today. It briefly featured Daria Morgendorffer snarking at B&B for being stupid, which was the case in 95% of all of Daria's appearances in that series. The scene in question later appeared as an "Easter egg" on the Is It Fall Yet? DVD.

A United Nations holiday occurs today that was probably established just for Jodie Landon. Click the link and see if you agree.

Which fanfic was conceived of ten years ago today? The answer is a tricky one.

Updates to the Midwest Dariacon 2010 thread have been posted. Please read if you plan to attend.

NEW! Erin M. discovered an avatar-maker at the website for the upcoming movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, so here are Daria and Jane—Pilgrimfied!

NEW! Thanks to Pittsburghmuggle, we have a DariaWiki page with all the lyrics to the songs in the third-season episode, Daria! Thank you!

EVEN NEWER! Anyone out there collect Daria memorabilia from years gone by? If so, get in touch with other collectors in this PPMB thread (and meet a Great Name of Old, too)!

AND EVEN MORE NEWER! Charles RB has created a new Iron Chef: Judith Strikes Highland!

FF.net

• NEWER! The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 15 to 18): "About Daria—" Amy said. "That's when the yelling starts," Jane said. "Daria asked us not to yell." "I haven't yelled yet," Amy said. "Neither have I. If something you do actually gets me to raise my voice, run." Jane didn't get angry enough to scream all that often. When she did, something was very wrong. Dogs and small children fled. They were the smart ones. (Part 18 here)
  
• NEWER! Wishful Thinking, by a440 (COMPLETE!): "Don't you get it?" said Jane. "There's a legend saying that anyone that discovers that eye is granted four wishes between now and midnight." "Jane," said Daria, sounding a bit testy, "did you and Trent invent such a half-baked story like that? That is the stupidest story I've heard in years." "I ain't joking," said the black-haired Lane gal. "Try to make a wish for a test run and we'll see if the legend was right." "Anything to get you and your stinking yenta off my back," grumbled the outcast. "So, let's see, what should I wish for? Would be tough... I wish I knew what to wish for." For a moment, there was a white flash of light, and then Daria blurted out, "I know what to wish for!"
  

Outpost Daria

• A Stranger in Lawndale, by Belle Book (Part 6): Stacy thought back over the three weeks since Derek had confessed to her that he was a kitsune. For the first two or three days, she couldn't help feeling a little awkward around him. After all, she'd never gone out with an animal that could shapeshift into a human before.

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• And Another Thing, by Midnightstorm (COMPLETE!): The country club always seemed an ideal place for young love to happen. Young love, the same thing that made me who I am today. The same thing that somehow gets you into all sorts of problems. The same thing I used to not believe in. Dad was having a business meeting there for the investment firm he works at. I just tagged along out of sheer boredom. It was either that or having to stand spending a whole day with Elsie and Mom at the art museum. You guess which one I picked. Both of us never planned it out, we just found each other there. It was just one of those times.
• Bathing with Archimedes, by RLobinske (Part 5): Returning to the table with the girls' sodas, Vincent said, "Daria, what's with the eyes?" "What do you mean?" she said. "Whoa," Zoe said. "Your eyes are glowing." "It's really creepy looking," Quinn said, looking worried.
  
• Daria and Jane and the Bag O' Noodles, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "When we get to Daytona, and you have a few drinks in you..." "Yes?" "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
• NEW! Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): "When my dad comes home, I'm going to talk to him about going to Buxton Ridge." Dorian stared at the wall, afraid to make eye contact with Jane. Jane felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. "Don't." "Why not? People are going to be trashing me, not realizing they are talking to me. They'll be relieved that 'the misery chick' is finally out of Lawndale. Not to mention Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neil... she's probably going to skin me alive while he's going to want to get all touchy-feely. I don't want to have to deal with that, Jane. What am I going to do?"
  
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 6 and 7): “You don’t like me very much, do you?” “This is the first time we’ve ever spoken to each other. I’ve learned my lesson about judging people before I meet them. I don’t know you, but Finn’s said an awful lot of nice things about you.” “So, what’s the problem?” “No problem. It’s just... I remember how much I turned into a bitch whenever you came into the picture." (Part 7 here)
  
• Gorillas, I Swear, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): As a gift to myself, I worked on a new illusion. I thought about adding the traditional trick of sawing a lady in half, but then I'd have to find another lovely to be Stacy's legs, and how could I divide my attention between two succulent young women? What was my new trick? Well, that'll be my secret, for now. With the great word of mouth from my appearances at parties, and the posters of me and Stacy from our performance at the school, the State nearly sold out. Lots of fine, fine money for me, minus 10% for Ms. Li, of course. Stacy, in the new dress and with her hair up, looked as amazing as I imagined she would. At three o'clock, the show began.
• NEW! Grove Hell on Earth, by Charles RB (Parts 3 and 4): Daria went to class as always, but noticed too late that she wasn’t taking the same level of notes as before. In math class, she noticed she wasn’t taking notes at all. She’d been writing random words and phrases. Despite herself, she smiled to see, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” was down there; something of her was still active, they hadn’t burnt it all out. Graham was looking at her. He’d seen the notes. She wrote “Hi Graham!” and a smiley face down, causing him to physically recoil and fall off his seat. The whole class turned to look. (Part 4 here) (FF.net)
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 38): "God, GOD NO, Terry. I am not accompanying Scarey Claire-y! The only mode of conveyance suitable to Claire Davidson is one used to sweep floors! This ride is not for me, oh no, no sir!" "Then why can't Claire Davidson get her own broom ride? Why must she bother you?" "She's not bothering me. I'm doing this as a favor for Kiki Morgendorffer." "Pat, if Kiki Morgendorffer jumped into a pile of used syringes, I'm assuming you'd jump in, too?" "I believe so. This part of the mating dance, Terry, is wasted on you."
  
• Judith Strikes! I Want My Mummy! by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): “I can’t come over tonight, Sandi,” Quinn Morgendorffer said into her mobile phone. The redheaded teen laid on her back on her bed, her left knee propped up and her right leg crossed over that one. “I’m serious! Mom grounded me for a month after that date when Corey abandoned me at those warehouses. She nearly put me into a private school after he got shot right after that!” She nodded and said, “Well, she’ll calm down sometime and I’ll come right over. Bye!” She turned off the phone and shuddered. She hadn’t been totally truthful to Sandi, nor to anyone else outside of her mother and her sister, Daria. But she knew that she couldn’t tell Sandi about how she had been there when Corey was shot, nor about how she had then been taken hostage.
  
• Judith Strikes! Red-Winged Angel, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): She twisted her wrist and the pimp's moans turned into screams. The woman took a step back and her foot flashed out again, catching Sammy squarely on the chin. The pimp went upright again, then off his feet and flat on his ass. Jane stared in horror and fascination at what happened next. The woman proceeded to beat Sammy to within an inch of his life, cloak swirling behind her. Elbows, feet, knees, fists, even fingers. All were used to strike at points designed to cause the maximum amount of pain and suffering.
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 10): When the check came, Sam insisted on paying it. "A guy has to have some prerogatives, Daria," he explained. "Fine, then, can I exercise a girl's prerogative? I'll be right back." Daria got up and walked to the bathroom. All she needed to do was wash her hands, but she spent a few minutes checking her hair. No one had ever called her pretty, except maybe her parents, but they did that because she was their daughter. Her sister would always ask her dates if she looked pretty, and they were often too terrified to say no. When Sam told her how she looked, it was completely unsolicited.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite (Part 8): Sandi noticed with little interest that the Preacher hadn't followed his charges in their attack as she squeezed off a two more rounds at the nearest ravening cubs. The resulting sprays of flesh and blood didn't faze the rest of those little monsters very much, only slowing them ever so slightly as they tried to avoid slipping. Between the cubs and the few believers who had recovered their fanaticism she still needed to make every bullet count.
• MOST NEWEST! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Judith Strikes Highland!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): It was an awesome day. They’d managed to find a whole four—better, three crickets! Whomph! Fire! Yay! And then, whoa, cool! This building, like, went BOOOOM! “That was hardcore!” said Daria. “Heh heh, yeah!” chuckled Quinn. “Hey, you think something else will go up next?”
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): It was a cold winter morning in the middle of nowhere. Two figures stood facing each other, some twenty feet separating them. Daria stared at her father and gulped before saying, "Dad, I'm scared." Usually she would never admit such a thing, but having Jake Morgendorffer point a .45 at her chest was not something she was used to. Not yet. "Kiddo, don't be such a baby," her good old dad said. He checked his gun and prepared it. "We've been over this." (Daria/Kick-Ass)
• Unnamed story (What Would Jane Do?), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Jane..." "Oh, hey, amiga! I'm getting ready to go out, I thought you where out with Ted. Is there something you need?" "Ted left me... for someone else." "What?! I'll tear his head off, that little punk! Who is she?! I'll kill her! No one hurts my amiga."
• NEW! Welcome to the LD, by Angryellow (Parts 2 and 3): "What took you so long?" Daria asked her best friend. "Ugh. Would you believe that my baby brother spit up on my blouse and I had to change into another one? Then I couldn't find my cell phone." "Did you find it?" "Yeah. Rachel had it and was playing with it, despite the fact that I told her not to," Jodie grumbled. "Little sisters. Whatever are they good for?" "Ha. You're preaching to the choir." (Part 3 here) (FF.net)
  
• Wrylight, by Minx (Part 7): Daria was scared. She knew that once she knocked on that door her life would no longer be the same. With an involuntary shudder Daria drew a ragged breath, rapped sharply, and waited for an answer. After a few minutes the door slowly swung open to reveal a disheveled Trent. He stood silently and stared at the young teen. His dark eyes bore into her own as he seemed to search her, as if he were looking for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. “Um, hey Trent, is Jane home?” Daria asked. (FF.net)
  

Some People Cannot Be Taught

Quick note here: Carson Daley, noted MTV personality and the voice actor for David Sorenson in Is It Fall Yet?, turns 37 today. Happy Birthday, dude!

Will return later, just got back online after technical issues. Cheers!

The Heat Is On!

It's International Surfing Day today, which means it's also the Summer Solstice! PAR-TAYYY!!! The summer solstice (give or take a day) is the time for many holidays around the world, such as Go Skateboarding Day, Fête de la Musique (a.k.a. World Music Day), World Humanist Day, National Aboriginal Day, and Inti Raymi. Enjoy!

Dulcinea has a question on PPMB: will Daria miss the people she knew in high school? Lots of answers given already.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): Leanna said, “My brother was recently... deployed. To Afghanistan. He’s in the Army, he went there just last week.” Finn had no idea what to say at first. “You...never saw him, before he left?” Finn asked. “It’s not a hospital, there aren’t visiting hours. Besides, he’s on the other part of the country. Other part of the world, now. So, no. He’s not here. He’s spending his days getting shot at, or whatever happens over there.” “Oh no!” A familiar voice reminded all three of the speakers that they were standing next to the elevators in a purely public place. The three turned to see Mr. O’Neill, his face in a mask of worry.

Do It for the Old Man

Happy Father's Day to you dads out there, and to those celebrating the occasion. And here's to you, too, Jake.

Interesting historical note for today. On this day 118 years ago, Lizzie Borden was acquitted of the axe murders of her father and stepmother. Jake Morgendorffer had this reaction to Lizzie Borden's story.

N00Z!

• A Jezebel.com writer thanks Daria for "social guidance." Interesting essay!
• Daria and the Daria DVDs as presented in current media.
• Charles RB offers a new Iron Chef Challenge: Straight Inta Lawndale. What if the Morgendorffers had moved to Lawndale while Daria was a toddler?
• Fan Chris Tucker has spotted a Daria lookalike in the Marvel Comics mini-series HER-OES, Book 2. Love the boots.
  
• NEW! Is comic-book character Becky Burdock more like Daria or Quinn? Charles RB brought this interesting character to our attention.
  
• NEW! OverlordMikey has begun another Iron Chef: The Father's Day Fanfic Post. "How are Daria and the rest celebrating their fathers and thanking them for all the Paternal-ness?"
  

FF.net

• Brittany Wants Daria, by a440 (COMPLETE!): As a rule, when a student graduated, it was said to be a happy occasion, but for Daria Morgendorffer, who was one of Lawndale High's latest grads, such wasn't the case. "You're joking, right?" said Brittany. "Nope," said a downcast Daria, who with the blonde and Jane, had met at The Pizza King for what might be the last time.
• College Wry, by LibertyxIsxLove (Part 2): She and Stacy stood awkwardly on opposite sides of the room before the latter ventured, "I'm a little concerned if Tiffany has a boyfriend..." "Yeah," Quinn agreed, taking a seat on her bed. "I mean, how many guys have tried to take advantage of us, when we're, you know..." she wracked her brain for something polite. "More socially apt than her."
• NEWEST! Daria Regresa, by z3l3niit4 (Part 1): [Daria/Tom shipper in Spanish.]
  
• El Ultimo Verano, by Xio-Lang: [This begins the Spanish language version of Richard Lobinske's "Last Summer" series.]
  

PPMB

• Bathing with Archimedes, by RLobinske (Part 4): Quinn sat next to Daria and Zoe sat next to Jane. Jane asked, "Feeling a little alienated?" Zoe said, "This school is full of brains." "Not a bad thing," Daria said. Quinn said, "And they know to dress and to be popular. It's overwhelming."
• NEWEST! Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): Lillian turned to Quinn. "So, tell me about this Jane girl that came over yesterday." "Jane is Daria's—well, now Dorian's—best and only friend. They started hanging out the second day we were in school here. They complement each other nicely. Jane is a really good artist and has similar tastes in TV shows and sarcasm. Sometimes I think they are the only ones that truly understand the other. I mean, my friends and I are kinda close and all, but they are on a whole different level." "Do you think they will start dating?" "I hope so. Dorian is, well, happier when she is around. I just don't know if the Daria in him will ever allow him to see her as a girlfriend." "Isn't Jane dating that guy Trent?" Jake chimed in, looking up from the paper. "No, Dad. Trent is her brother." (FF.net Spanish)
  
• NEWEST! The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (end of Part 1): As she drove toward the little farm community of Scorched Rock, Kansas, Daria noticed a strange billboard promoting Fat Man Delivery Services: "High Speed Intercontinental Access!", "World Wide Coverage Area!" and "Delivery Guaranteed!" Daria shook her head. It's been a long day, she thought. Hungry, she pulled into the driveway of Nukie's, the town's only restaurant. She first met Nukie at the Weapons Production Facility at Flat Plains, Texas. At the time, he was a machinist on the warhead assembly line. He'd gone to work at the plant in the mid '50s after he told his interviewer that he wanted to make stuff that would blow up real good and do it for America. [Last part of Part 1 is here.]
  
• NEWER! Eye of the Beholder, by Yogi (Part 5): “No!” Quinn wailed. “That little backstabbing bitch! How could she!? I though she was my... oooooh GAH DAMMIT!” “Wha?” Stacy gasped, confused at her sudden outburst. “What happened? Who did this? Where does she live?” That last part had just slipped out.
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): “Were you just talking to Benjamin Montgomery over there?" asked Mr. O'Neill. "He seems upset.” “I don’t know what happened, really. He just had a phone call and he got really upset.” Finn then realized that he just blabbed something about someone being upset to Mr. O’Neill. That was one of the unspoken rules of Lawndale, and the only one left now that Barch and Li were gone: Do not talk about feelings to O’Neill. Ever. Language arts class meant becoming a robot. “Oh, dear! Maybe I should talk to him later. Please, excuse me Finn.” “No, Mr. O’Neill!” Finn called, but O’Neill had already headed back to the elevators.
• For Life, by LSauchelli (continued): Jane looked one more time at the door and kicked it again. “Stupid judge trying to make a stupid point,” she said, trying to bait Daria into saying anything. She glared at the vent. Daria was still not talking. So she decided to sit next to the door and wait. She did this for almost two minutes before her need to talk kicked in. “Daria? You awake?” “I’m awake Jane.” “Think you will ever get out?” “Yes. One year done, one hundred and seven left. The only way I’m getting out of here is in a coffin.”
• NEWER! The Future Is Unwritten, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "So, what do you do now, Jane?" "I'm a founding member of the Society for Creative Procrastination." "That's disappointing." "It was a joke?" "You were always such a talented student. Are you still painting, at least?" "I'm in the middle of my White Period right now." "Oh! Oh." "Yeah." [Ending is here.]
• NEWEST! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 37): Quinn and Jill decided to move their lunch date to Tuesday to give Quinn an uninterrupted break. The course of the day was turkey tetrazzini. Quinn suspected that it was made of the Tom Turkey from Thanksgiving. "Less than two weeks to end of classes," Quinn said. "Then, finals. You'd better enjoy our lunch dates, Jill... next year you might have to find a new friend." "Don't say that," Jill said. "Kiki, you've been working harder than anyone... well, harder than anyone I know, anyway. Heavens, think of your previous schooling. So how are you doing?" "Aside from the F-double-minus Goodlett will give me?"
  
• NEWER! Helen's Choice, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Both she and Jake remembered, quite clearly, the amazement and joy in the teacher’s voice: “Daria’s made some friends.” Daria had been five years old, getting discouraged that the other kids didn’t know what she was talking about and then withdrawing into herself. Her voice, already a bit flat, had started to become completely monotonous. Apparently she’d needed to borrow a pencil and because of that she’d found out Jodie did know what she was talking about. The sight of Daria actually talking with another kid caused little Jane to toddle over out of curiosity. And that’s how her daughter had gained some friends.
  
• NEW! Judith Strikes! The Green Book, by OverlordMikey (Part 1): Jane sat in the nurse's office feeding Daria. "So, amiga, how long has it been since we had a nice quiet meal?" Daria stared off at the door. "Has he come home?" Daria's voice was still the same monotone Jane remembered, but her words seemed out of place.
• NEW! Judith Strikes! Red-Winged Angel, by Erin M. (Part 1): She wished Daria were still alive. Daria would never have let her fall so far. But Daria had died in an apartment fire six years ago, and Trent had taken Mystik Spiral to Europe in an effort to build a following shortly after Jane had moved to New York the first time. She hadn't seen him since. [Contains mature content.]
  
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 9): "Would you like to see my dorm?" Daria agreed. They entered the East parallel and climbed the stairs to the fourth floor. A long hallway ran the length of the building; dormitory rooms lined both sides. One of these rooms was Sam's. He had decorated the door with cartoons of stick figures. They were not clipped from the newspaper. Instead, they were on white paper, printed from a laser printer. Daria looked at the one that had pride of place: two of the stick figures were watching Mythbusters on television. In the following panels, "Zombie Feynman" entered the room, told the couple that they should cut the Mythbusters guys some slack because they were doing a service to Science, and then demanded to know where he could find some brains to eat. Daria did not completely understand the humor; she would have to ask Sam later why this was funny.
  
• They Stood on Her Neck: Slate Takes a Look at the History of Daria, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): In 1998, they came not to praise Daria but to bury her. The cartoon had spun off the eponymous heroine, a sardonic minor character on MTV's smartly dumb Beavis and Butt-head, into her own time slot... Unfortunately, after the first series, voice actress Wendy Hoopes (Jane and Quinn) fell into a contract dispute with MTV.... When the show came back nine months later with "The New Kid," things had changed. Jane had, entirely off-screen, been taken into state care due to her negligent parents; Trent had skipped town without her around. Daria's parents had divorced and her mother (also Hoopes) had left with Quinn. Daria's new best friend was Andrea, a surly Goth girl who'd been a background character, while the Ted DeWitt, the new kid himself, became a love interest for a reluctant Daria. ("Not the original plan for him," said Eichler, "but we were pretty desperate.")
• Two Halves 6: Role Models, by Dark Kuno (Part 2): “S'cuseme!” blurted a squeaky voice as a form wrapped in an over-sized trench coat rushed between Daria and Jane as they exited the girls’ bathroom. “Was that Brittany?” asked Daria. “Either her, or a spy smuggling helium and bowling balls,” remarked Jane.
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef Challenge: Straight Inta Lawndale), by Malakite (COMPLETE!): Everyone died from the X-5 supervirus which first appeared in Nevada in the mid-nineteen nineties.(Because certain idiots fail 9th grade science, and end up in summer school,instead of being home to notice that their TV was stolen or possibly get crushed by a car they were trying to fix. Whichever.) The End. [Almost.]
• NEW! Welcome to the LD, by Angryellow (Part 1): Quinn, who'd always finish breakfast first because she ate sparingly, flipped through the channels of the living room television in an attempt to pass the time. She hated the fact that there were nothing but infomercials, cartoons, and the local news to select from in the morning. The redhead finally settled on what was, at the very least, her favorite local news program; "WLDL-2 Mornings." "Murder in the morning," Daria muttered in reference to the morning news as she plopped down beside her sister. "Well, it was this or watching that chef guy try to wow me with a set of indestructible stainless steel knives." "Which were coincidentally used in the latest murder on Dega Street." (FF.net)