Hello, hello...

It's me - Brother Grimace. Nice to see you. I'll be dashing in and out every now and then to make Daria-centric comments. First things first - TAG, thanks for letting me play.

Nothing to rant or say right now. Guess I'll just post a little reminder of one of my favorite Daria episodes - Quinn The Brain:


Always did think the 'boob-enhancing' baby-T that she wore here was, well, in the words of Bill and Ted, "Not bad." As PPMB denizen smk has reminded me - she said that I need a slightly classier term than 'sweater puppies'. She's right - but the original term that I heard, from Alan Ruck's Upchuck-esque character 'Stewart' on ABC's Spin City, was 'sweater meat'.

Along those lines - sooner or later, TAG and I will have a serious discussion on the nature of Helen Morgendorffer's greatest assets - well, beside her brains and her uber-competitive, 'win at all costs', 'take-no-prisoners!' attitude. On an actyual serious note, though, one of the things I'm working on for 2009 (besides finishing up ALL of my unfinished fics!) is an essay on the nature of romance in Daria. I'm trying to look into why (or why not) several characters are together, and the background/backstory for those characters. For example - Janet Barch. On first glance, she seems truly unredeemable - but if you look closely, she's one of the saddest, most damaged characters in the show, from beginning to end - and it's not her fault.

The crux of Janet's problems stems from her divorce, which apparently changed her from - what? - to the male-hating virago we know from the show. Consider, however, a couple of facts.

* Janet Barch is an intelligent woman - and actually VERY or even EXTREMELY intelligent. (Greg Grumman, playing a bit part on an episode of House, M.D. commented on Greg House himself as being in the same vein. 'He's gotta be good, because when you're a jerk like that, you're either good or you're unemployed.' ) However, because of the way her personality (in this supposition) changed - she was probably released from whatever position she had, and she was lucky to find work as a teacher at Lawndale High. Angela Li probably had her over a barrel - the only job that she could get where she could do anything near what she loves - science - and get an actual living wage, Li gets a top-flight teacher working for her (in the case of the girls only, and occasionally a boy or two), and occasionally vent out her rage and frustration against the other gender without too much blowback.

* Janet was actually one hell of a wife. She was married for twenty-two years (for you Star Trek:The Next Generation fans - that's the exact length of Jean-Luc Picard's first mission aboard his first command; USS Stargazer. Very few women, even if they're dumber than bricks when it comes to men, would spend twenty-two years married to a guy if something in that marriage wasn't working, and vice-versa.

* Janet actually loved her husband very much. 'A woman scorned', and all that - and it seems, from the little data that the show's given us, that Janet was the victim of 'the seven-year itch' - adjusted for inflation, of course. The ex-hubby seems to have found younger, cuter, more eager to please in bed and too young to understand that she's being used; the ex ran off with this young thing... and it tore Janet apart. The only way she found that she could cope is to lash out and hurt everyone as much as she's hurting inside... and she's never stopped hurting.

I also think that the absolute worst thing that she could have done is to get involved with Timothy O'Neill. Can you say 'classic case of overcompensation?' If the show had ever tried to give some depth to any of the secondary characters, Janet would have been perfect; I would have loved it when she dumped O'Neill (I swear befor God, I REALLY can't see them lasting too long before he starts to remember that he has a penis and 'allows' some starstruck teenage girl in one of his English classes to 'help him with his Longfellow', to recycle an old joke. (I always saw O'Neill as the teacher most likely to get into trouble that way, and then hang himself in his classroom just before the bell OR to do it in front of his class. I really can't tell you how much I despise that character.) Anyway, he'd screw the teeny-bopper and then go running to Janet for confession and forgiveness ('because she can understand my pain - howI'm suffering because I couldn't control myself, andhow I've damaged that young girl's trust in all adults, and all men...'). I'd hand her the axe handle my brother used to keep in his trunk, and tell her that no one will ever know. They could show the tape on Youtube and FOX News with her face in high-def, and no charges will ever be filed because it's obviously temporary insanity AND self-defense.

Well. That's a little more serious than I wanted to get on my first turn out of the bullpen.

We'll go for something lighter next time, I think.

Two More Alter-Ego Puzzles

To be fair, I figured out who Upchuck (at right) was disguised as. I kept thinking his weird haircut and posture meant something. They did, even though the official MTV caption on the "Daria: Alter Egos" flipbook gave no clue. ("Upchuck whips out his pistol.") Can anyone else guess who he's supposed to be?

Mr. DeMartino (at left), however, has me stumped. The weird makeup, hair, clothing—beats me, man. Looks like something off a horror movie or Tim Burton production.

Your turn. Who are these guys?


NEWS FLASH: Over 60,000 visits to this blog! Thank you!

PPMB

• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): WTF?!?!?! OMG!!! YESSSSS!!! I KNEW SHE'D DO IT!!! ALL HAIL ALISON, QUEEN OF ANGSTOSTAN!!!
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Part 4): Daria stared at her computer screen, as she had been doing for the last 15 minutes. Damn, still no spontaneously generated story ideas. Well, except that one, but hearing what people are thinking has been done to death.
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 6.5 of Chapter 3): Hospital? Did someone say hospital? Does that mean.... angst?

I Admit Defeat

Here we go. I love trying to identify the alter egos MTV stuck at the end of Daria, but in many cases it is just too much. Here are two that escaped ID.

At left is Tiffany, her hair in dreadlocks, with an outfit that makes me think of 1930s cartoons. I cannot find anything like her anywhere.

At right is Jake with a grotesque haircut and a USA shirt, untied shoes, and knee pants. And his tongue out.

Who the heck are they supposed to be? Someone out there has to know.

Let's hear it.

Oh, and the latest DariaWiki entry: The Winged Tree Country Club, thanks to Richard Lobinske.

More on Maynard

I am so incredibly out of the loop, I don't even know where the loop is.

Not only did Milderbeast (God bless him) and Deref (same, though this will be more difficult as he is Australian) long ago come up with my nifty idea about Maynard G. Krebs being the role model for a certain Daria character we all know, these two guys even made Maynard a part of the Lane family.

To quote from "The Many Loves of Thalia Gillis":

* * * * *

"It's like my Uncle Maynard told me a long time ago: You got the right beat, the rest is just heat."

"Trent, what exactly does that mean?" asked Daria.

"Uncle Maynard played the bongos. He showed me what natural rhythm is all about," said Trent, as if that settled the matter.

"I always wondered who was to blame," said Jane. "All I remember about him is how he slept on the couch for three months and never once got a job. I don't even think he was really our uncle."

"Hmm," said Trent, "Maybe he wasn't. But man, he taught me all about life and how to live it."

"Cool," said Jesse.

Jane laughed. "Those lessons you learned, all right. Especially the sleeping all day part."

* * * * *

Is the Loop around here? Have you seen the Loop? I've been out of it so long I forgot what it looked like. Stay tuned in case something original does strike me.

OTHER NEWS: Brother Grimace has posted the most recent entry on DariaWiki: Rafael Vargas.

Also, two veeeerrrry interesting AUs are in the works. Check 'em out and stay tuned.

PPMB

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker/Lurker (continued!): "My new outfits!"
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Parts 2 and 3): “So Dad almost burned the house down, and then Mom tried to burn him down.”

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if....

Have a look at these two images of Maynard G. Krebs, the beatnik character played by Bob Denver from that 50-year-old TV series, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. The website bobdenver.com has a special section on Maynard that is worth a careful read. Maynard was extremely popular; some people even say he's a role model. I used to hear his name all the time when I was small, though I had no idea where it originated. (I don't recall watching Dobie Gillis.)

The slim, unkempt Maynard was a musician who liked to recite very bad beatnik poetry. He hated work and was very lazy. He had dark hair, a goatee and a soul patch, way before soul patches became popular. He became a cultural icon beloved by many.

Maynard doesn't look familiar to you, does he? Just a little bit? Suppose you were a height-challenged nerdy girl with no friends, then one day you met this really cool artist girl who became your best and only friend, and she had this older brother who was tall, slim, unkempt, loved music, recited awful poetry, did his own thing without worrying about the larger world, didn't like authority or hard work, slept all the time, had dark hair and a goatee and a soul patch, said "Like" and "Man" a lot, was kinda handsome and cool....

Are you still with me?

Do you think that Bob Denver was the role model for anyone else you know?

I'm really starting to wonder.


LATE ADD: Well, shoot. Here I thought I was coming up with something original, then I do a Google search and find that someone came up with this idea long before I did. Dang! And I was so sure I had a unique thought for once! I should take my brain back to K-mart and get a refund. I would if I could find the receipt. Must have thrown it out.

Oh, and here's another Daria fanfic that makes reference to the great Maynard. It's a pretty wild read. I liked it. Maybe Maynard and the Lanes do have a connection.

If Stacy was Mary Anne, then who would be Ginger?

Today is the 73rd anniversary of the birth of comedy actor Bob Denver, who played Gilligan on some TV show from the 1960s whose name escapes me, but it had to do with an island. The real Bob Denver is at right, flanked by two of the show's leading ladies, and Kevin Thompson is dressed as Gilligan in an alter ego at left. Funny, I guess there really is a resemblance between the two. Weird.

Kevin is holding a coconut with a straw in it, which is a pretty typical prop from the original show, which I used to watch when it wasn't in reruns. I was in elementary school then. There were dinosaurs around too, I recall.

You would be surprised, perhaps (or perhaps not, knowing this fandom), at the number of Daria tales having to do with Gilligan, or at least how many stories mention him. In no special order:

• Survivor
• The Hunt for Daria Morgendorffer
• The Idiocy
• It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty Coincidence
• The Generic Action Tale
  
• The Many Loves of Thalia Gillis (actually a crossover with The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, a long-ago TV show on which Bob Denver also starred)

and, most importantly,

• Outcast Castaways, which nails it. Congratulations to Robert Nowall for this crossover triumph.
  

Wanna hear something really weird? The character that Bob Denver played on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis was named Maynard G. Krebs, a shaggy-looking beatnik. It has been reported that the character Shaggy Rogers, from the Scooby-Doo franchise, was created from Maynard G. Krebs. If that is true, then the Daria background character Shaggy (who was apparently based on the Scooby-Doo Shaggy) was ultimately derived from Bob Denver's long-ago character.

In other words, the man who gave us Gilligan also gave us Shaggy.

Small planet, isn't it?

Beware the deadly libraries!

So, I guess I'm going to be tagging along on this blog, too. Get it? TAGging along? Oh, shut up.

Since I'm writing this entry at work, in a library (shhhhh!), I thought I'd look through the episode transcripts to see what part libraries play in Daria. It turns out libraries in Lawndale are far more dangerous than you'd think.

Let's take the Lawndale High School library, the roof of which collapsed on Brittany and Kevin in "Fair Enough." Fortunately, it hit them on their heads, so no lasting damage was done. However, Quinn Morgendorffer knows better than to take her chances, as this dialogue from "See Jane Run" shows:

Daria - Why didn't you say so? Give me the first cash advance and you can come with me to the library.

Quinn - The library? If anyone saw me there, I'd die.

That's right, she would die. Clearly, just being inside a library in Lawndale can be fatal. Quinn was ultimately able to avoid a grisly death, but the next victim could be anyone—especially when Helen Morgendorffer may be running things. As of "Pinch Sitter," this was a very real possibility.

Deena - Helen, please share your list of priorities, stating the most important first.

Helen - One: spend more time with my family. Two: break through the firm's glass ceiling. Three: beat the pants off Carly Fishbeck in the library board election. Four: get the spice back into my marriage.

Granted, it becomes her lowest priority after she revises the list to put "get the spice back into my marriage" at number one, but why does Helen want to be on the library board in the first place? It can't be the prestige, because there isn't likely to be any prestige to a small town library board. It can't be the free coffee mug she'll most likely be awarded if she wins. And it sure as hell can't be because she has too much free time on her hands.

The answer is clear: Carly is a rival who, like Linda Griffin, must be eliminated. Helen has a thirst for power that cannot be sated. Once Carly is out of the way, who knows who her next victim will be? The 80-year-old volunteer who reshelves books twice a week? The Story Time Lady who comes in every Tuesday afternoon?

God help Carly Fishbeck. God help the citizens of Lawndale. God help us all.

So please, for the sake of your own well-being, stay away from the libraries of Lawndale. The life you save may be your own.

Jake: What if he was YOUR father?

This being Jake's fandom birthday, let's look into his role as a cartoon father.

What did Daria and Quinn think about their father? I'm not sure what Quinn thought, but Daria found him both embarrassing ("One J at a Time") and, oddly, heroic ("Of Human Bonding").

We talk about Jake in a distant sort of way, because he's a cartoon dad, but let's make it more personal: What if Jake had been your father? Put yourself in a teenager's position once again, and ask yourself, how would you have handled that?

To be fair, I'll go first. I would have been embarrassed to death. As a teen I was already known to my family as "Mole Man" because I so rarely came out of my room in the basement (severe introversion), but with Jake around, I would have become The Invisible Man. I'm sorry, but the heroic part of Jake, fighting off his own demons, would not have become obvious to me until decades later after I had kids, too.

Quinn appeared to handle this by keeping her parents away from her friends and her friends away from her parents, and everything was fine. Daria had only one friend most of the time, and Jane was around Jake about as much as Daria was. (Misery loves company.) Daria did not want Tom to be around Jake, especially after Jake's awful attempt at a joke on insider trading (and the squirrel thing, too). Come to think of it, Quinn did the same thing, leaving the house as soon as her date arrived.

Your turn. Jake is your old man. How would you deal?

OTHER NEWS: Latest addition to DariaWiki: Maine Escape, one of many new entries from the great and powerful Dr. Mike! Thank you!

Happy Birthday, Jake Morgendorffer!

According to Daria mythology, today is Jake Morgendorffer's birthday. He's pushing 60 at this point, probably 58-59 if his quad bypass was successful. The date suggested in "Fireworks" has been adopted into other story systems as well, so go to it. Cook something special for your family tonight in Jake's honor! Or, you know, not. Best to be safe. More after I am coherent.

Oh, right, forgot to mention that the Daria Fandom Blog II has a few new faces, to keep it from getting boring from listening to me rant on all the time. Party on most righteously!

FF.net (three stories that have appeared elsewhere and are now here, too)

• Apocalyptic Daria: Brave New World, by Doggieboy80, a.k.a. Doggieboy (Part 5)
• Cry for a Shadow, by Alpacca Joe, a.k.a. thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!)
• Cynic with a Vampire, by Shadow Pumpkinhead, a.k.a. Patrick Moore (Part 1)

PPMB

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Lurker, a.k.a. Lawndale Stalker (continued at last, hooray!): Hot anger washed over the cold knot in Janet Morris's gut. “Nobody calls me a slacker!” she snarled as her foot mashed down on the gas pedal. “No one!”
• Cynic with a Vampire, by Patrick Moore (Part 1): “Is the world ready when a man dates an animated cartoon princess? 'My girlfriend is a cartoon,' on the next Sick, Sad World!”
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Part 1): You would think that in an AU version of "Fire!" in which Jake had a fire extinguisher, things would work out better... but nooooo! Can't wait for the rest!
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by Jtranser (continued): "Sandi, you need to get over to L.A. and have some face time with Stacy. You have to get her back on the original message. You know, the religion we've built around her."
  
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Tiffany struggles through the conspiracy as best she can, and we love her for it.

Somebody Forgot the Bug Spray

No, not really, but TAG did invite me to write for the blog, so here I am.

He said I needed to write something about Daria or Daria fandom. Hmm…something tells me that there's little interest in the important role of entomology in Daria, so I guess I better come up with something else. Since I've been a longtime series writer, how about something simple, like a look at some of my favorite fanfiction series?

In no particular order:

The A.D. Universe by Mr Anonymous

Unseen Phenomenon by Wildgoose

The Driven Wild Universe by Kara Wild

The Lost Seasons by C.E. Forman

The Other Side of Time by The Sidhe

Pause in the Air by The Angst Guy

Though each series is dramatically different from the others, each has a special spark that makes them memorable. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

Oh, and speaking of favorites, don't forget to nominate yours for the 2008 Daria Fanworks Awards. The deadline is 23:59 UT, January 10.

A True Musical Holiday

This is a treat. Today is the anniversary of the birth of two music greats: Elvis Presley and David Bowie. Trent Lane at left does his best Elvis impersonation, and Jane Lane at right does her impersonation of the cover of Bowie's Aladdin Sane album (1973, see link for image). Hooray, Lanes! Hooray, music!

It must be said that if that Aladdin Sane pic went any lower, we would have serious NC-17 issues. That's Jane for you, always on the edge. Oh, and hey: her right ear is NOT pierced!

It should also be noted that MTV artists were often extremely specific in their choice of alter-ego inspiration. Trent is not just "doing Elvis." Trent is doing Elvis during his 1968 TV comeback special. Click the link and you will see why I say that. Jane doesn't do Bowie, she does a particular Bowie album cover. Brittany does Madonna from a specific award-winning video, Stacy does Christina from a specific Rolling Stone cover, etc. Artists are a picky lot, aren't they? These alter egos are more than they seem.

Today is also referenced in a certain Daria fanfic, which you may want to read. I didn't realize before that "bhut" on FF.net was actually "Bacner" on Outpost Daria. Good to see you around, dude!


LATE-BREAKING INTERNET NEWS:

• "Something I don't think I'd regret if I had gotten it, is a duck phone. I don't know if they really exist, but I saw one once in the MTV animated series Daria. Instead of ringing, it quacked." (Tri-City Herald, Kennewick-Pasco-Richland, Washington)
• "My all time favorite cartoon is Daria. It was something about Daria's and Jane's friendship that made it seem as if they were more than just friends." (AfterEllen.com) [Well, duh.]
  
• "Cult series 'Daria' still not on DVD" (Connecticut Herald) [Well, double-duh.]
  

Remember: you saw it here first, maybe!

And today is special in other ways, but more on that later.

But first, this commercial message....

Fresh from the pages of Beavis and Butt-head: Reading Sucks, we have the Abdominal Snowman (yes, yes, I know), using his special Abdominicizer® (as seen on TV!) to keep his abs looking hot for the women of Tibet. Daria appears in the book, so the topic is Daria related. Happy winter!

Also, we have the following new fanfiction, hot off the keyboards.

FF.net

• Daria: The College Years, by Farren O'Blivion (Part 10—continued, hooray!): Trent watches a sunrise just before Mystik Spiral awakens to a new day.
• Daria One Half, by BatLurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 4): Daria opened her eyes and glared at the ceiling. She heard noises from downstairs and then people yelling loudly in Japanese. "Oh, what a joy I didn't wake up dead."
  

PPMB

• Arrival, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): No one spoke at first as Quinn walked down the stairs to join them. Helen Morgendorffer seemed to be fighting the tears rolling down her face.
• Invading, by Lorenzo Sauchelli (COMPLETE!): Armalin narrowed his eyes as he read the report about his current pet project. The results were far less satisfactory than what he had expected. He put the folder down and glared daggers at the whimpering scientist in front of him. "Care to tell me again what I just read here?" he said, a menacing finger pointing at the folder.
  
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 3): Tom Sloane stepped off the train that had taken him to Flagstone. True to his letter, he wore his black dress shirt and a small straw hat, along with tan pants. He smiled in anticipation, as he had been looking forward to meeting with his bride since the day she left New Orleans, one month ago.
• Other Side, by Legendeld (Part 3): Crossing universes is not as safe and trouble-free as you might think.
  
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): We are at DEFCON 2! Warning! We are at DEFCON 2! This is not a drill!
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 6 of Chapter 3): “It’s like a train wreck,” said Jane in an awed, hushed voice. “This is… without a doubt… the absolute WORST movie I have ever seen. And I can’t look away.” “I swear, Plan 9 gets better every time you watch it,” said Daria.

Moar l8r. Mebbe a surprise, to0.

They're creepy and they're kooky...

Today marks the 96th anniversary of the birth of famed cartoonist Charles Addams, who gave us The Addams Family: Gomez, Morticia, Lurch, the whole lot. There is a curious link between this franchise and Daria, as Peggy Nicoll (a major Daria screenwriter/staffer and the author of The Daria Database) became a writer for The New Addams Family on TV. The Addams Family (TV show and movies) is referenced a number of times in fanfic. For some reason, dressing up as Morticia Addams is a recurring theme in Halloween stories. Jane dresses up as Morticia in "Daria's Halloween Extravaganza"; Jane refuses to dress up as Morticia in "Trick or Trent." Upchuck is dressed as Morticia in "The Daria Chronicles: Book Learnin'." And, in "Trick or Treat," we have this marvelous exchange about potential Halloween costumes:

Helen: You could have always done Morticia Addams.
Quinn: Why would I want to dress as one of the First Ladies?

Now, that's comedy. Jane as Morticia cries out for fan art.

The alter ego above is a bit like Brittany dressed as Morticia, but it really seems to be Brittany dressed as an opera or musical singer. The pose with the necklace and handkerchief looks familiar, but I cannot place it. Black gowns imply tragedy, but she's smiling. Anyone know more about who Brittany's supposed to be?

[See "Comments" below. JennaUsername, a.k.a. The Dramatic Monarch, figured it out!]

Today is also Saint Distaff's Day. There is no Saint Distaff, which is part of the old joke: it isn't really a holiday, either. It's the day after Epiphany, when medieval women were supposed to start housework again.

A certain fanfic takes place from today through the rest of this month, though it happened four years ago.

ALERT! One of the Ancient Secret Masters of Daria Fandom, A.J., has begun posting mind-blasting secrets from the past on PPMB. Read and be enlightened!

More soon.

Epiphany, Daria style

Today is Epiphany, the Twelfth Day of X (formerly known as Christmas). Epiphany is the kid at Holiday Island High who figures things out long after it would have done him any good, and knows the right retort only after everyone has left the room. (His epiphanies are a little late.)

Epiphany got its start when the Three Wise Guys (see at left) began following a brilliant star (seen at right). After twelve days of begging and pleading with her for a date, she let them take her to Chez Pierre of Lawndalehem, which cost them all the gold they had. (The restaurant would not take frankincense or myrrh as payment because those are plants.)

Epiphany (as a word, not as the holiday) is hard to explain. I looked up a bunch of definitions. They include:

• A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization.
• An usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something.
• An intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking.
• An illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.
• A revealing scene or moment.
• A sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
• A literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

Daria is probably the only TV show ever to make a joke using the word epiphany. From "Jake of Hearts":

• Daria: I may have had a hand in her epiphany.
• Jane: I hope you washed it thoroughly.

Not just any old TV show could pull that one off. Several Daria stories have epiphany in their titles.

• "Epiphany," by Nick Gaston
• "O'Neill's Epiphany," by Bacner
• "The Iron Cynic Series #2: Late Epiphany," by DJW (no longer online except through the WayBack Machine)
  

If you celebrate Epiphany, then you should definitely read these stories today. For religious reasons, of course. And now for something completely different.

Dark Kuno added the latest entry in DariaWiki: This Used To Be My Playground. Thanks! Brother Grimace and Dr. Mike have been doing great work there lately.

The Backgrounders website is attracting attention and comment on PPMB and SFMB. Read and learn.

The great Kemical Reaxion has posted a short comic on SFMB: "Alcohol and Sarcasm." Happy New Year!

Now 1,095 fans in the Daria Fan Club. Wow, that thing has really grown in the last year. Word must have gotten around. It's got a lot of good stuff.

FF.net

• Daria One Half, by Batlurker (Part 3): Jane whistled. "Wow, that's one of the weirdest things I've ever seen."
• Janey on My Mind, by Violent Dyke (COMPLETE!): One day, Jane left. This is what happened afterward.
  

PPMB

• Bettie and Jack at Festivus, by Gene (COMPLETE!): The fandom's first-ever Festivus fanfic! The first fanfic of 2009! And it's a good one! Hooray!
• Daylight LLH: Palmed Cards, by Gouka Ryuu (COMPLETE!): What the Hell were you doing earlier, Gouka? You revealed the existence of Arcana and The Elite to Armalin in practically the same breath!
• King of the Ladies, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Courage, advice, time travel: the things some people need to get a date.
  
• Other Side, by Legendeld (Parts 1 and 2): A steampunk Daria tale... with a bite.

SFMB

• Cybercity Lawndale, by JJXB (Part 14): The street's dark atmosphere lent itself to a horror novel. Daria was getting creeped out, feeling as if she was being watched. “Damn paranoia,” She muttered to herself. (So far, the only cyberpunk Daria tale I know of.)

One Last Minor Topic:

One of the ways I've been using to identify certain students at Lawndale High (for Backgrounders) is by picking out physical details about them, such as (for the males) beards. Some useful charts naming different beard styles are available on the 'net, and I thought I'd pick two of the best of them for those of you with bearded characters in your fanfics. The right words are always better than sort-of-the-right words.

• Beard types 1
• Beard types 2

For whatever it's worth. Enjoy.

Winter Wonderland, Not

Quite a few Daria fanfics take place during January, when high school and college go back into session. A few January-based, school-related tales are given below. Not all are guaranteed to involve snow.

High School Setting

• "Many Are Culled" (TLAS)
• "Victory Lane" (Daria returns after being brainwashed)

College Setting

• "Chosin Fate" (FiC)
• "Art Frieze" (FiC)
• "Refrieze" (FiC)
• "Between the Lines" (FiC)

Other

• "Still Wet by Moonlight" (All My Children)

In other January fandom events, OzDariaCon got its start eight years ago this month. Kara Wild wrote an essay on The Triangle, "The Other Side of the Kiss", six years ago.

Most recent page in DariaWiki: The Devil Deals The Cards (by Dr. Mike). Thanks!

LATE ADD: This was sort of a lame post, but some days are like that.

Andrea says, BEE THERE!

A new website is in the works, and probably will be forever because of all the material that will be going into it. Superfan UU and I have set up Backgrounders, devoted to identifying and fleshing out all of the minor, one-shot, and background characters on Daria. The site is at:

http://www.theangstguy.com/backgrounders/main.html

and is open for business. Keep in mind that we only got it started about a week or two ago, so it needs lots more information, which we are supplying as fast as we can. We're doing Lawndale High School students right now, with adults and others to come later. Comments, questions, corrections, and suggestions are welcome. With any luck, this should expand the range of options for fanfiction characters, which is sorely needed.

Enjoy!

Rarely Visited Corners of the Internet

Just for fun, now and then I go through some of the older Daria websites that are no longer updated to see what was going on in the fandom a decade or so ago. A while ago I looked through Katherine Goodman's alt.lawndale.com site, some of which is still online. (Parts can be retrieved using the WayBack Machine, per the Blasts from the Past section at the bottom of the Daria Directory.) The most interesting parts so far are these:

• Second-season episode guides, with commentary on some eps by Ms. Goodman.
• Andrea's homepage on the Internet (by Ms. Goodman).
• Other student homepages.
  
• A caption contest with some funny responses.
• Loads of makeovers I haven't seen on other sites.

Wish I had been around in the fandom a long time ago. Knowing everything I know now, of course, so I could invest in Microsoft and write everyone else's fanfiction (the good stuff) and claim it for my own, nyah nyah nyah neener neener pthptptpdppptttptptpththth. That would be so awesome.

Interesting that websites used to give each other awards for excellence. Why don't we do that anymore? Probably 'cause everyone grew up. I should make up my own award and give it to the most deserving webmaster, but I would be too embarrassed to take it. Damn modesty.

More later when I can type straight.

Tom and Tolkien

Today being the birthday of J. R. R. Tolkien, I decided to present an alter ego of Tom Sloane as one of the great and terrifying Trolls of Mordor, from The Lord of the Rings. Trolls were feared for their enormous height and great strength, and if you rubbed their colorful hair you could make a wish but nothing would happen except the Troll would eat you. Note that this is also the only alter ego of Tom in which he is completely naked. Now I can understand why Daria wasn't exactly thrilled to sleep with him in season five.

As pointed out earlier, the list of 2008 Daria Written Fanworks is complete. Check it for errors, then nominate for the big one!

Helen Morgendorffer has been accused of many things, but this one has to be the strangest accusation of them all! Thanks, ninetwelve.


FF.net

• Daria One Half, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Parts 1 and 2): This Daria/Ranma 1/2 tale starts off with a little surprise for the Morgendorffer girls from dad Jake.

PPMB

• Arrival, by Legendeld (Part 7): Jane Lane found herself trying to figure out where her life went wrong as she scrapped herself off the floor of the bar. Her head was ringing and she was pretty sure it wasn’t sweat running down her chin.
• Fundamental Daria: I'm With Stupid, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Oh, Jodie Landon, you sneaky little devil you.
• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): Daria, John, and Alison have a threesome in the woods, while Quinn hooks up with an underage male named Link.
  
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 2): Amanda Lane looked down the sight of her shotgun. Her targets were in sight, so she pulled the trigger.
• Order and Chaos, by Legendeld (Part 18): Quinn jumped above the flying metal before flipping in mid air to land behind Darth Bane. Her double bladed attack was blocked as he spun and snarled at her.
• Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have-Who's Holding Daria Now? Some interesting ficlets here, all worth reading.

Spacebabes for Asimov

Renown science writer and science-fiction author Isaac Asimov was born this day 89 years ago in Russia. It would be impossible to list all the books he wrote in this space, as he did over 500 of them, and I could not name all the books he did that I have loved. He was The Man. The Space Babes appear here in his honor.

One character from Daria appears in a fanfic reading a book by Asimov, and one of Asimov's science articles influenced a story that I wrote. Anyone else have an Asimov/Daria tale?


LATE NEWS: The list of 2008 Written Fanworks is complete!

Hello? Hello? Anyone home?

Stayed up too late last night? Too bad. Life rolls on. More to come as the day goes on.

VERY LATE ADD: Back again. Whew!

Have to think of something to post for tomorrow. Have to update fanfiction stories list and get my nominations in for 2008. More shortly.

SHORTLY: Back again.

The 2008 Visual Fanworks Listing is complete! Thanks to the awesome Richard Lobinske! Go out, one and all, and NOMINATE!

TheSecretSharer asks the burning question: Daria's jacket: vinyl or cloth? I don't know why, either, but add your two pfennigs anyway.

Indulged too much last night? Here's a morning-after cure.

She could also be dispensing her latest chemistry project to unwitting test subjects. You never know.

Hope your New Year's Day is a pain-free one.

As Daria would say....

More later. Not home yet. I wrote this all out days ago.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A New Year's Greeting, as only Daria can give!

(click here)

One Minute Left in 2008!

Get ready for the ball to drop! Get ready to kiss! Get ready to....




...missed it.

Let's Hope 2009 Doesn't Suck

I'm not home at the moment, being out with family, so party on and don't get hurt. And don't give anyone cause to put a picture of you drunk and/or naked on the Internet, for God's sake.

Let's all hope that 2009 doesn't suck. Lots coming in the New Year. Be there.

Happy New, Yo!

Seven years ago, Daria appeared on MTV during its New Year's Eve celebration. A transcript of her resolutions is provided on Outpost Daria. Where the hell is she now?

As for me, I am on a short New Year's vacation and will be back in a day or so. Enjoy the new year!

And the winners are....

Remember to vote for your favorite visual and written fanworks! The 2008 Booties are yet to be awarded, but we need something to vote on first!

Make out your list of your favorite fanworks according to these instructions, and do it now! Or soon! Very soon. Or else I win everything by default. You don't want that.

Once again, vote for the 2008 Daria Fanworks Awards, for Written and Visual Works. The rules are here. They are very simple. Even you could do it. You! Srsly!

VOTE, DAMMIT!

Here am the Art thingers, and here am the Word thingers. Thank you.

A Question of Altitude

Not to press the point too much about Daria being stumpy or anything, but this is another shot from Tainted Meat, part of the B&W class photo taken with Daria in the front row. Beavis is off-screen scratching himself. We have a nice shot of the two Kimberlys, Butt-head, and even part of Cassandra at left. Punk Kimberly is a head taller than Daria, who was probably about 5'1" here (she grew an inch in Lawndale, I assume). The Kimberly in back, and Butt-head too, are standing on risers so we can't tell how tall they are compared to Daria, exactly.

Anyway, just an interesting thought. Wonder what Daria thought about being shorter than everyone else. She looks like such a little thing. I don't recall much being said about this in fanfic.

You Probably Shouldn't Read This If You Have a Weak Stomach

The Beavis and Butt-head episode "Tainted Meat" premiered today 14 years ago on MTV. Daria appeared in two segments, not saying a word in either one. However, in this scene, she was working on a timed test in Mr. Van Dreissen's class when she heard something and turned around to see Beavis with his hand inside his pants, furiously scratching his crotch. Beavis's intimate hygiene issues are the focus of the episode, which can be in full on the MTV site at the above link. Be warned that it might be just a teeny weeny bit of a gross out. Srsly. You might never eat at a restaurant again.

Daria also appears in the front row of a class photo in the same episode, Beavis off to one side still scratching himself. Daria stands next to the punk girl Kimberly, who is far taller than stubby li'l Daria.

I honestly don't think that Daria ate at any Highland restaurant at which she knew either of these two worked. I just can't see it. It's incredible that the experience didn't turn her off to hamburgers, but you wonder if she used her knowledge of this episode's events to good effect later on in the Daria episode "Fat Like Me," when she tricks her father out of his hamburger (see the very end of the script). Clever little minx, isn't she?

Latest entry in DariaWiki is . . . oh, ha ha, very funny. Insult my true love, see if I care.


FF.net

• Falling Into College 64: Arrivals and Returns, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!)

PPMB

• Arrival, by Legendeld (Part 6): “Shouldn’t we be cheering for the girls?” Jane asked. “No," said Quinn, "I want to see how he kills this one.”
• Fundamental Daria: Indefinite Leave to Remain, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Daria heard a knock on her door. Crossing the living room to her front door, she narrowly avoided tripping over the ottoman. She opened the door and found her visitor smiling. “Hi Ja…Trent?”
• Heartless (IC: Evil Jane), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Won't spoil it. Read it and marvel.
• Invading, by Lorenzo Sauchelli (preview of Part 3): Donatello has done a very dumb thing....
• Order and Chaos, by Legendeld (Part 17): Talk about your one-man armies!
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (continued): “No,” yelled Jane. “I’m completely naked and helpless in here!”

Topic for the Day: What If They Brought Daria Back?

Just suppose for a moment that, in response to all our cards, letters, e-mails, phone calls, pleading, and whining, MTV (or some other corporation with the proper license) decided to bring Daria back to TV. Ignoring the question of whether any of us would like the show, being as caught up in the old one as we are, how would you like to see the new show presented: live action, animation, or a combination of the two?


Beyond that, what should the show's setting be?

1. More high-school adventures with Daria and Jane in the late 1990s.

2. Daria and Jane in college, early 2000s.

3. Quinn and friends in high school after Daria leaves.

4. Trent and Mystik Spiral on the road across the U.S. after Daria and Jane go to college.

5. The whole cast in today's world, with Daria, Jane, and Quinn as 20-somethings out of college.

6. Focus on other students at Lawndale High in the late 1990s.

7. Daria and Jane in high school, but set in today's world.

8. Focus on other students who were in Lawndale High, in today's world as 20-somethings.

9. Brittany and the other cheerleaders in college.

10. Something else entirely.

Elaborate on your answers in the Comments section. Me, personally, I'll go for #5. Also in animated format, as writing stuff about live people is too weird for me.

Jokers Wild

For reasons we cannot fathom, someone once declared today was Card Playing Day (a.k.a. National Card Playing Day), and now it's all over the Internet like every other wacko meme ever invented. It's almost like there's a holiday version of Internet Rule 34, that there is a holiday for everything imaginable, no exceptions. Ah well, so be it. You got cards, go play a game.

Card games have a place in Daria fanfiction, as long as we're on the topic. Some of the fanfics I recall in which card games form a part of the plot include:

• After Work
• Darius (chapter 23)
• Death Takes a Holiday (chapter 1, minor)
• John Lane 16: Left to the Heart
• John Lane 26: Neptune et Fortuna
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes 7.9: Missing Man
• Once Upon a Time in College (which has disappeared from PPMB for some reason, before it was completed)
• Parental Injustice
• Priceless
• Sleepover
• Summer of the Hot Lake (chapter 1)

Anyone remember any others? Anyone know where Lawndale Stalker's "Once Upon a Time at College" went? Okay, I'm done embarrassing myself. Thanks, Richard.

OTHER NEWS: Farren O'Blivion has decided to keep writing "Daria: The College Years" on FF.net. The nine chapters up so far have been revised, and chapter ten is on the way!

Problems still being noticed when uploading fanfiction to Lawndale Online. Awaiting fix.

Fan-tastic!

Our guest star today is Stacy Rowe, the Unnoticeable Girl of the Fantastic Club, here to celebrate the 86th birthday of Marvel creator Stan Lee, who is directly responsible for the multitude of Daria superhero crossovers that have long plagued the fandom. Stacy of course is parodying Sue Richards, the Invisible Girl (now Invisible Woman) of the Fantastic Four. Stacy's on the left, Sue is on the right. Happy Birthday to Stan the Man! You rule, dude!

Five Is a Crowd

The only time in Daria that we hear Helen and Jake discuss having a third kid is in "Gifted," with fairly straightforward results.

Jake: Maybe I could talk Helen into having a boy.
Helen: Maybe I could talk you into letting me keep the house.

However, there is more. The MTV Daria site used to allow fans to send in questions to be answered by the voice actors playing their characters. This was about 1999-2000. Many of these priceless responses were saved at the Daria Sound Archive in its "Other Sound Files" section. One in particular is of interest: Jake and Helen discussing why they haven't had a third kid.

Sounds like neither parent is really up for it, after the double-barreled experience of Daria and Quinn. Which is why, in fanfic, Veronica simply happens and everyone has to deal with it.

FF.net

• The Young Switcheroo, by Smileyfax (Part 9): "Jane" and "Daria" continue to cause trouble for one and all, still unaware of their entwined pasts.

PPMB

• Arrival, by Legendeld (Part 5): “Excuse me, did you pass my friend on the stairs? Intense redhead, dressed up like a bum.”
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 1): A retrofic that sends us back to the Wild, Wild West in this crossover with a movie whose name you can probably guess. Enjoy.
  
• Order and Chaos, by Legendeld (Part 16): “You just started a holy war among the Sith.”

Fan-imation Free-for-all

A new webpage has been created for everyone interested in experimenting with actual animated Daria images. The page is largely based on an earlier post here, and it is called "The Art of Daria Fan-imation." That's animation for Daria fans, of course. The page is rather plain at present, but perhaps some of you will create entertaining images worthy of posting or linking there. I have other SMK files to upload there at a later time, but this batch should be a good starter set.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated and would make that page a lot more interesting and complete. I look forward to hearing from you. Enjoy your new hobby!

LATE ADD: There, I've added a small special section for it in the Daria Directory, just below the sound files section. Cheers.

You're Going to Love This One

You have to sit down and wonder just who in the world came up with the whole alter-ego idea for Daria. If anyone gets to talk with Glenn Eichler or any other major hitter on the MTV animation team, that question should be asked first. The artists used enormous creativity in recasting familiar characters in startling roles pulled from every aspect of popular culture, from the instantly familiar to the obscure. Today's featured alter ego is one of the more "out there" examples.

Today happens to be the 107th anniversary of the birth of the German-born film star Marlene Dietrich (at right), who eventually came to the U.S. and became one of Hollywood's greatest screen icons. Her breakout role came in the movie Der Blaue Engel (The Blue Angel) in 1930, in which she portrayed a cabaret singer for whom an esteemed schoolteacher destroys his career and loses his life. Ms. Dietrich's signature costume for this role involved a silk top hat and a man's tuxedo.

And that is what Ms. Barch is wearing in an early-series alter ego (at left), her brunette hair styled in the manner of Ms. Dietrich's, not necessarily from The Blue Angel. Even has the cigarette. I guess the artist picked Barch for the role because Lola-Lola (the cabaret singer) caused a respected man's downfall. Kinda fits with the misanthropy, you see. (Maybe Barch was cast as Monica Lewinsky in another alter ego for the same reason.)

This cultural reference is not exactly obscure, but only a nutbar film buff is going to look at that alter ego and instantly shout, "Marlene Dietrich in The Blue Angel!" Did any of you do that when you saw Ms. Barch like that? Many Daria alter egos are drawn from the mass media of the 1990s, but not from the German cinema of 1930. Perhaps the interest that Daria and Jane shared in "the cinema" was also shared by some of the Daria design team. This alter ego says more about the people who thought it up than anything else.

By the way, if you saw the movie Blazing Saddles (which I have, over 20 times), the role that Lili von Schtupp (Madeline Kahn) plays is basically Marlene Dietrich.

Amazing what you can learn from a cartoon, isn't it?


IN OTHER NEWS....

Now 1,080 fans in the Daria Fan Club, and loads of things to do there.

Most recent entry in DariaWiki.... what the hell?