The One for Whom That Award Was Named

Zoologist and gorilla friend Dian Fossey was born 76 years ago today. An award was named for her at Lawndale High, allegedly an annual presentation. In Is It College Yet?, Ms. Li introduced the award thusly: "I give you the winner of this year's Lawndale High School Diane Fossey Award for dazzling academic achievement in the face of near-total misanthropy... Ms. Daria Morgendorffer!"

Is the naming of the award fair? The Internet reports that Ms. Fossey once said, "I feel more comfortable with gorillas than people. I can anticipate what a gorilla's going to do, and they're purely motivated." The Internet also reports she said, "The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people." Given that Ms. Fossey was murdered by humans, not by gorillas, her prejudices do not seem far off target.

Others have pointed out that the image on the award appears to be a golden gorilla posed like Rodin's The Thinker. This is never mentioned in the series, but the picture at right makes the similarity quite clear.

Lawndale Online is still in the planning stages of an upgrade. More data about it here. You go, girl! Uh, website!

The three-day weekend for Dr. Martin Luther King Day was the time when a certain Daria fanfic took place: "Invisible Planet."

It was nine years ago today that Kara Wild posted her essay, "The Helen-Jane-Jodie Connection." Intriguing. Read it.

Now 1,109 fans in the Daria Fan Club.

FF.net

• Daria, Poem Unlimited: The Meme Wars, Part I or I Hope My Body Can Take It, by Project Pegasus (Part 1): The stage is set as the superheroine Daria does battle with the alien space invaders, Tom Sloane and Monique!
• Harry Butt-head, by Deep Metal (Part 1): Deep Metal, a true wizard with B&B stories, has taken on a parody of the Harry Potter franchise. Guess who Hermione is going to be?

Cuchi-cuchi, or Coochie-coochie?

Spanish-American entertainer Charo, whom I'm not sure many of you remember, was born 67 57 years ago today. Helen Morgendorffer does her best Charo imitation at left. (Charo is blonde.) Charo's actual name (I swear) is María Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Moquiere de les Esperades Santa Ana Romanguera y de la Najosa Rasten, which neatly explains why everyone calls her Charo. Her website is here. The costume Helen wears is similar to the one Charo wears at right (click for larger image). Charo is a very accomplished guitarist, and her website has some of her music. She started the catchphrase "cuchi-cuchi."

Today is a significant date in a certain Daria fanfic that you may wish to read: Fast Times at Lawndale High. I remember the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It was weird. Sean Penn's changed a lot.

Most recent addition to DariaWiki: Brother Grimace presents Training Cadre 3000!


FF.net

• Dancing with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 3): “Aha!" Daria looked up, her eyes livid. "So now I’m the so-called Nosferatu Killer?”

PPMB

• Daylight: Soft Rains, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): A very short story with an ending only an Angst Lord could love, and I do.
• Size Does Matter, by Blackhole (Part 34): Tiffany left her room in a hurry. She had no intended to give her mother another chance to rain her “Knock her up, marry her, elope - but get her out of the house!” rant on one of her dates. That gave them ideas. (SFMB)
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Parts 5 and 6): “I trust you," said Jane. "I just don’t trust...” “Don’t trust what? My judgment? My hormones? My sister? What?” “Tom.” [Ah....]
  
• Something Not Yet Named, by Gouka Ryuu (COMPLETE!): "This is the story of I got my name," spoke the bard, "though our country's fictional characters also have a place in the tale."
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "All right. Whose brains did you eat this time?"

A Cheap-Ass Clip Show

Seven years ago this evening, "Look Back in Annoyance" was aired on MTV. A 30-minute retrospective of Daria's five seasons, the show was put together by Glenn Eichler and Anne D. Bernstein. The title is a pun based on the British play/movie Look Back in Anger, from the 1950s. Lots of fourth-wall breaking, clever quips, and memories.

This day marks another anniversary, but this time in Fanfiction-land and a bit more serious. Twenty-six years ago today, someone died who was very important to Daria in one of her many alternate universes. Can you guess who it was? If not, the answer lies within.

Greystar needs some help breaking through his writer's block. Go forth and help him! However, he needs no help in starting a great new Iron Chef: Beeep! Very funny!

FF.net

• Daria One Half, by BatLurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 6): A Japanese boy with a heavy backpack, a bandanna around his head and a pair of goggles covering his eyes smiled as he saw the giant strawberry. He looked at his map and nodded to himself and took off the goggles. "Saotome Ranma, prepare to meet me!"
• Daria: The College Years, by Farren O'Blivion: Farren has changed the ending to chapter 10 and is holding the story hostage. You must read the new ending to chapter 10 and respond to it, or else NO MORE FOR YOU! Do as she says, and no fanfic gets hurt!

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• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "It was our hope that one day you would become a Priestess-Controller and be the one of those who would turn the keys and launch the Holy Rockets at The End Of Days."
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 6.75 of Chapter 3): They’ll be fine, came Alex's last thoughts before drifting off to sleep. Or the Fashion Club will be murdered horribly and creatively. Either way, it will all work out for the best.

Daria Wants You To Vote

The nominations are up for the 2008 Daria Fanworks Awards, or Booties. Lots of good stuff this year, so savor the nominations and vote for your favorites.

Written works are here.

Visual Works are here.

How to vote is here.

Happy Birthday, Cherry Lane!

Time for another fanfiction character birthday. Little Cherry Lane, assumed daughter of Wind Lane and a succubus from Hell, is only four years old today! Congratulations to her, and to her Uncle Mayna—um, Trent, and her godparent, NightGoblyn. Woo-hoo!

Hmmm. I don't seem to have a picture of little Cherry. Oh, well, here are pictures of her aunt and uncle. Er, aunt and other aunt. Whatever. She looks like Jane a little. Cherry does, I mean. You know what I mean. I don't.

More later.

An Introduction

As you may have noticed, TAG has invited a few of us other inmates, er, fans, to participate in his blog. Why, you may ask? Probably because he's lazy and tired of keeping this place up all by himself, but at the same time unwilling to let it slide. Of course, now if it slides anyway, he can just blame us newbies. Not that he'd be so devious. In any case, since I'll be contributing here, I thought I'd introduce myself, and explain how I came to be a member of this fandom.

If you participate (or lurk) on the PPMB, you know me as smk. For the purposes of this blog, I shall be hereinafter known as, 'the smk chick'. As The Kristen Bealer Guy noted, there was kind of a pattern to the names, but since I don't particularly want to be thought of as a guy, and since, unlike Kristen Bealer, smk is gender-neutral, I decided on the smk chick. And it's not capitalized because I'm pretty sure it'll bug TAG.

As for how I came to be part of this fandom, about two and a half years ago I suddenly had access to DSL. I'd never had DSL before, and wanted to compare the speed to dial up. It seemed that streaming video would be a good test, so I went to YouTube. That day they happened to be featuring a channel from nightwinggirl (I am unsure of the spelling, it's been awhile and since YouTube suspended the account [Stupid YouTube. But I'm not bitter.] it's a little hard to check). The channel had a play list with all of the Daria episodes, in order, including the unaired pilot. Over the next few weeks, I watched the whole series. Some of the comments referenced Outpost Daria, so I checked that out. I had never heard of fan fiction, but when the series was done, I still wanted more, so I started reading some of the fan fiction, on Outpost Daria and elsewhere. Then I clicked a few links, found the PPMB, discovered the Creative Writing forum, realized there was new stuff to be found there, and lurked for a little while.

I may never have decided to actively participate, if it hadn't been for one post. You see, prior to this, not only had I never heard of fan fiction, I'd never heard of message boards and had no idea that any fans other than Trekkies were active in any sense; the whole thing was unfamiliar and a little scary. When I'd been compulsively reading fan fiction, though, I did e-mail two or three authors. One was Lawndale Stalker. Once Upon a Time at College was unfinished, leaving a huge question unanswered, and I wanted to know, dammit! And he refused to answer, claiming he'd finish the story one day. (And has that happened? No! But I'm not bitter.) Then, in my lurking, I came across the following post:

http://www.thepaperpusher.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12442&p=208885#p208885

(I know I should probably be able to capture an image of the screen and post it here, but I don't want to brag on my 1337 skillz, so just follow the link and pretend, 'kay?)

That was me! He was talking about me! I was compelled to respond, so I de-lurked. Once the door was open, I found that participating in an online community (this one, anyway) was much less scary than I thought, and in fact have found that this is a comfortable place to be. Even though my online experience has broadened, this is still my favorite place on the 'net.

That's quite enough about me, and I promise that future posts will strictly limit use of the word 'I' (but I promise nothing about the parentheses).

The Jesse Moreno Show?

Today is Howard Stern's 55th birthday, and MTV artists saw fit to have Jesse be Howard Stern in a late-season alter ego. Hmm, not really like him, sorry.

In case you missed the Secret Fandom Codes unearthed by A.J. on PPMB, here they are. Study them carefully, and you too can become a Secret Master of Fandom! Or committed, whichever.

Dariaverse.com updated on the 10th, more stories online. Lawndale Online has Richard Lobinske's "Arrivals and Returns" (FiC 65). Legendeld had more rantings today.

Other than that, it is Monday. Hope yours is a good one.

Who in the world is Upchuck pretending to be?

Okay, here's a clue: I thought it was from a TV show, particularly a cop show like Starsky and Hutch.

But I was wrong. It's from a movie. The artist was quite devious.

Moar l8r.

ANNIVERSARIES: Nine years ago today, Kara Wild posted "Erin the Head." Read and remember.

SAD NEWS DEPT.: MartinUK informs us that The Irony Maiden website has gone down and might not be coming up again. In that event, I will try to reconnect the links in the Daria Directory with WayBack Machine versions of Irony Maiden, particularly the excellent Dariacon advice that was there. Very sorry to hear this.

GIVE UP? If you want the answer to who Upchuck is (and you will be surprised), click here. Enjoy.

FF.net

• Dancing with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Parts 1 and 2): “Huh?” Trent blinked. “Who?” The man smiled slightly and pointed at the article. “Jane Lane, age 19. You know her, don’t you?”
• Daria One Half, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli the Writing Machine! (Part 5): Mrs. Manson looked at Ranma and nodded to herself. "As you can see, our Lawndale High students take great pride in their school. That's why you'll be taking a small psychological exam to spot any little clouds on the horizon as you sail the student seas of Lawndale High."
  

PPMB

• Order and Chaos, by Legendeld (Part 19): Jake was fuming as he paced. “In my own house, a damn Jedi temple.”
• Other Side, by Legendeld the Writing Machine! (Part 4): Daniel smiled down at Daria as he lowered her to the floor. “I never heard of someone coming back from falling down a Tesla hole before.”
  

AUGH! Now getting a 404 Not Found error for DariaWiki! AUGH!

Oh, right, I forgot they were moving the site to a new server this weekend. Never mind! It'll be back soon.

Hello, hello...

It's me - Brother Grimace. Nice to see you. I'll be dashing in and out every now and then to make Daria-centric comments. First things first - TAG, thanks for letting me play.

Nothing to rant or say right now. Guess I'll just post a little reminder of one of my favorite Daria episodes - Quinn The Brain:


Always did think the 'boob-enhancing' baby-T that she wore here was, well, in the words of Bill and Ted, "Not bad." As PPMB denizen smk has reminded me - she said that I need a slightly classier term than 'sweater puppies'. She's right - but the original term that I heard, from Alan Ruck's Upchuck-esque character 'Stewart' on ABC's Spin City, was 'sweater meat'.

Along those lines - sooner or later, TAG and I will have a serious discussion on the nature of Helen Morgendorffer's greatest assets - well, beside her brains and her uber-competitive, 'win at all costs', 'take-no-prisoners!' attitude. On an actyual serious note, though, one of the things I'm working on for 2009 (besides finishing up ALL of my unfinished fics!) is an essay on the nature of romance in Daria. I'm trying to look into why (or why not) several characters are together, and the background/backstory for those characters. For example - Janet Barch. On first glance, she seems truly unredeemable - but if you look closely, she's one of the saddest, most damaged characters in the show, from beginning to end - and it's not her fault.

The crux of Janet's problems stems from her divorce, which apparently changed her from - what? - to the male-hating virago we know from the show. Consider, however, a couple of facts.

* Janet Barch is an intelligent woman - and actually VERY or even EXTREMELY intelligent. (Greg Grumman, playing a bit part on an episode of House, M.D. commented on Greg House himself as being in the same vein. 'He's gotta be good, because when you're a jerk like that, you're either good or you're unemployed.' ) However, because of the way her personality (in this supposition) changed - she was probably released from whatever position she had, and she was lucky to find work as a teacher at Lawndale High. Angela Li probably had her over a barrel - the only job that she could get where she could do anything near what she loves - science - and get an actual living wage, Li gets a top-flight teacher working for her (in the case of the girls only, and occasionally a boy or two), and occasionally vent out her rage and frustration against the other gender without too much blowback.

* Janet was actually one hell of a wife. She was married for twenty-two years (for you Star Trek:The Next Generation fans - that's the exact length of Jean-Luc Picard's first mission aboard his first command; USS Stargazer. Very few women, even if they're dumber than bricks when it comes to men, would spend twenty-two years married to a guy if something in that marriage wasn't working, and vice-versa.

* Janet actually loved her husband very much. 'A woman scorned', and all that - and it seems, from the little data that the show's given us, that Janet was the victim of 'the seven-year itch' - adjusted for inflation, of course. The ex-hubby seems to have found younger, cuter, more eager to please in bed and too young to understand that she's being used; the ex ran off with this young thing... and it tore Janet apart. The only way she found that she could cope is to lash out and hurt everyone as much as she's hurting inside... and she's never stopped hurting.

I also think that the absolute worst thing that she could have done is to get involved with Timothy O'Neill. Can you say 'classic case of overcompensation?' If the show had ever tried to give some depth to any of the secondary characters, Janet would have been perfect; I would have loved it when she dumped O'Neill (I swear befor God, I REALLY can't see them lasting too long before he starts to remember that he has a penis and 'allows' some starstruck teenage girl in one of his English classes to 'help him with his Longfellow', to recycle an old joke. (I always saw O'Neill as the teacher most likely to get into trouble that way, and then hang himself in his classroom just before the bell OR to do it in front of his class. I really can't tell you how much I despise that character.) Anyway, he'd screw the teeny-bopper and then go running to Janet for confession and forgiveness ('because she can understand my pain - howI'm suffering because I couldn't control myself, andhow I've damaged that young girl's trust in all adults, and all men...'). I'd hand her the axe handle my brother used to keep in his trunk, and tell her that no one will ever know. They could show the tape on Youtube and FOX News with her face in high-def, and no charges will ever be filed because it's obviously temporary insanity AND self-defense.

Well. That's a little more serious than I wanted to get on my first turn out of the bullpen.

We'll go for something lighter next time, I think.

Two More Alter-Ego Puzzles

To be fair, I figured out who Upchuck (at right) was disguised as. I kept thinking his weird haircut and posture meant something. They did, even though the official MTV caption on the "Daria: Alter Egos" flipbook gave no clue. ("Upchuck whips out his pistol.") Can anyone else guess who he's supposed to be?

Mr. DeMartino (at left), however, has me stumped. The weird makeup, hair, clothing—beats me, man. Looks like something off a horror movie or Tim Burton production.

Your turn. Who are these guys?


NEWS FLASH: Over 60,000 visits to this blog! Thank you!

PPMB

• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): WTF?!?!?! OMG!!! YESSSSS!!! I KNEW SHE'D DO IT!!! ALL HAIL ALISON, QUEEN OF ANGSTOSTAN!!!
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Part 4): Daria stared at her computer screen, as she had been doing for the last 15 minutes. Damn, still no spontaneously generated story ideas. Well, except that one, but hearing what people are thinking has been done to death.
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 6.5 of Chapter 3): Hospital? Did someone say hospital? Does that mean.... angst?

I Admit Defeat

Here we go. I love trying to identify the alter egos MTV stuck at the end of Daria, but in many cases it is just too much. Here are two that escaped ID.

At left is Tiffany, her hair in dreadlocks, with an outfit that makes me think of 1930s cartoons. I cannot find anything like her anywhere.

At right is Jake with a grotesque haircut and a USA shirt, untied shoes, and knee pants. And his tongue out.

Who the heck are they supposed to be? Someone out there has to know.

Let's hear it.

Oh, and the latest DariaWiki entry: The Winged Tree Country Club, thanks to Richard Lobinske.

More on Maynard

I am so incredibly out of the loop, I don't even know where the loop is.

Not only did Milderbeast (God bless him) and Deref (same, though this will be more difficult as he is Australian) long ago come up with my nifty idea about Maynard G. Krebs being the role model for a certain Daria character we all know, these two guys even made Maynard a part of the Lane family.

To quote from "The Many Loves of Thalia Gillis":

* * * * *

"It's like my Uncle Maynard told me a long time ago: You got the right beat, the rest is just heat."

"Trent, what exactly does that mean?" asked Daria.

"Uncle Maynard played the bongos. He showed me what natural rhythm is all about," said Trent, as if that settled the matter.

"I always wondered who was to blame," said Jane. "All I remember about him is how he slept on the couch for three months and never once got a job. I don't even think he was really our uncle."

"Hmm," said Trent, "Maybe he wasn't. But man, he taught me all about life and how to live it."

"Cool," said Jesse.

Jane laughed. "Those lessons you learned, all right. Especially the sleeping all day part."

* * * * *

Is the Loop around here? Have you seen the Loop? I've been out of it so long I forgot what it looked like. Stay tuned in case something original does strike me.

OTHER NEWS: Brother Grimace has posted the most recent entry on DariaWiki: Rafael Vargas.

Also, two veeeerrrry interesting AUs are in the works. Check 'em out and stay tuned.

PPMB

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker/Lurker (continued!): "My new outfits!"
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Parts 2 and 3): “So Dad almost burned the house down, and then Mom tried to burn him down.”

In fact, I'm starting to wonder if....

Have a look at these two images of Maynard G. Krebs, the beatnik character played by Bob Denver from that 50-year-old TV series, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. The website bobdenver.com has a special section on Maynard that is worth a careful read. Maynard was extremely popular; some people even say he's a role model. I used to hear his name all the time when I was small, though I had no idea where it originated. (I don't recall watching Dobie Gillis.)

The slim, unkempt Maynard was a musician who liked to recite very bad beatnik poetry. He hated work and was very lazy. He had dark hair, a goatee and a soul patch, way before soul patches became popular. He became a cultural icon beloved by many.

Maynard doesn't look familiar to you, does he? Just a little bit? Suppose you were a height-challenged nerdy girl with no friends, then one day you met this really cool artist girl who became your best and only friend, and she had this older brother who was tall, slim, unkempt, loved music, recited awful poetry, did his own thing without worrying about the larger world, didn't like authority or hard work, slept all the time, had dark hair and a goatee and a soul patch, said "Like" and "Man" a lot, was kinda handsome and cool....

Are you still with me?

Do you think that Bob Denver was the role model for anyone else you know?

I'm really starting to wonder.


LATE ADD: Well, shoot. Here I thought I was coming up with something original, then I do a Google search and find that someone came up with this idea long before I did. Dang! And I was so sure I had a unique thought for once! I should take my brain back to K-mart and get a refund. I would if I could find the receipt. Must have thrown it out.

Oh, and here's another Daria fanfic that makes reference to the great Maynard. It's a pretty wild read. I liked it. Maybe Maynard and the Lanes do have a connection.

If Stacy was Mary Anne, then who would be Ginger?

Today is the 73rd anniversary of the birth of comedy actor Bob Denver, who played Gilligan on some TV show from the 1960s whose name escapes me, but it had to do with an island. The real Bob Denver is at right, flanked by two of the show's leading ladies, and Kevin Thompson is dressed as Gilligan in an alter ego at left. Funny, I guess there really is a resemblance between the two. Weird.

Kevin is holding a coconut with a straw in it, which is a pretty typical prop from the original show, which I used to watch when it wasn't in reruns. I was in elementary school then. There were dinosaurs around too, I recall.

You would be surprised, perhaps (or perhaps not, knowing this fandom), at the number of Daria tales having to do with Gilligan, or at least how many stories mention him. In no special order:

• Survivor
• The Hunt for Daria Morgendorffer
• The Idiocy
• It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty Coincidence
• The Generic Action Tale
  
• The Many Loves of Thalia Gillis (actually a crossover with The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, a long-ago TV show on which Bob Denver also starred)

and, most importantly,

• Outcast Castaways, which nails it. Congratulations to Robert Nowall for this crossover triumph.
  

Wanna hear something really weird? The character that Bob Denver played on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis was named Maynard G. Krebs, a shaggy-looking beatnik. It has been reported that the character Shaggy Rogers, from the Scooby-Doo franchise, was created from Maynard G. Krebs. If that is true, then the Daria background character Shaggy (who was apparently based on the Scooby-Doo Shaggy) was ultimately derived from Bob Denver's long-ago character.

In other words, the man who gave us Gilligan also gave us Shaggy.

Small planet, isn't it?

Beware the deadly libraries!

So, I guess I'm going to be tagging along on this blog, too. Get it? TAGging along? Oh, shut up.

Since I'm writing this entry at work, in a library (shhhhh!), I thought I'd look through the episode transcripts to see what part libraries play in Daria. It turns out libraries in Lawndale are far more dangerous than you'd think.

Let's take the Lawndale High School library, the roof of which collapsed on Brittany and Kevin in "Fair Enough." Fortunately, it hit them on their heads, so no lasting damage was done. However, Quinn Morgendorffer knows better than to take her chances, as this dialogue from "See Jane Run" shows:

Daria - Why didn't you say so? Give me the first cash advance and you can come with me to the library.

Quinn - The library? If anyone saw me there, I'd die.

That's right, she would die. Clearly, just being inside a library in Lawndale can be fatal. Quinn was ultimately able to avoid a grisly death, but the next victim could be anyone—especially when Helen Morgendorffer may be running things. As of "Pinch Sitter," this was a very real possibility.

Deena - Helen, please share your list of priorities, stating the most important first.

Helen - One: spend more time with my family. Two: break through the firm's glass ceiling. Three: beat the pants off Carly Fishbeck in the library board election. Four: get the spice back into my marriage.

Granted, it becomes her lowest priority after she revises the list to put "get the spice back into my marriage" at number one, but why does Helen want to be on the library board in the first place? It can't be the prestige, because there isn't likely to be any prestige to a small town library board. It can't be the free coffee mug she'll most likely be awarded if she wins. And it sure as hell can't be because she has too much free time on her hands.

The answer is clear: Carly is a rival who, like Linda Griffin, must be eliminated. Helen has a thirst for power that cannot be sated. Once Carly is out of the way, who knows who her next victim will be? The 80-year-old volunteer who reshelves books twice a week? The Story Time Lady who comes in every Tuesday afternoon?

God help Carly Fishbeck. God help the citizens of Lawndale. God help us all.

So please, for the sake of your own well-being, stay away from the libraries of Lawndale. The life you save may be your own.

Jake: What if he was YOUR father?

This being Jake's fandom birthday, let's look into his role as a cartoon father.

What did Daria and Quinn think about their father? I'm not sure what Quinn thought, but Daria found him both embarrassing ("One J at a Time") and, oddly, heroic ("Of Human Bonding").

We talk about Jake in a distant sort of way, because he's a cartoon dad, but let's make it more personal: What if Jake had been your father? Put yourself in a teenager's position once again, and ask yourself, how would you have handled that?

To be fair, I'll go first. I would have been embarrassed to death. As a teen I was already known to my family as "Mole Man" because I so rarely came out of my room in the basement (severe introversion), but with Jake around, I would have become The Invisible Man. I'm sorry, but the heroic part of Jake, fighting off his own demons, would not have become obvious to me until decades later after I had kids, too.

Quinn appeared to handle this by keeping her parents away from her friends and her friends away from her parents, and everything was fine. Daria had only one friend most of the time, and Jane was around Jake about as much as Daria was. (Misery loves company.) Daria did not want Tom to be around Jake, especially after Jake's awful attempt at a joke on insider trading (and the squirrel thing, too). Come to think of it, Quinn did the same thing, leaving the house as soon as her date arrived.

Your turn. Jake is your old man. How would you deal?

OTHER NEWS: Latest addition to DariaWiki: Maine Escape, one of many new entries from the great and powerful Dr. Mike! Thank you!

Happy Birthday, Jake Morgendorffer!

According to Daria mythology, today is Jake Morgendorffer's birthday. He's pushing 60 at this point, probably 58-59 if his quad bypass was successful. The date suggested in "Fireworks" has been adopted into other story systems as well, so go to it. Cook something special for your family tonight in Jake's honor! Or, you know, not. Best to be safe. More after I am coherent.

Oh, right, forgot to mention that the Daria Fandom Blog II has a few new faces, to keep it from getting boring from listening to me rant on all the time. Party on most righteously!

FF.net (three stories that have appeared elsewhere and are now here, too)

• Apocalyptic Daria: Brave New World, by Doggieboy80, a.k.a. Doggieboy (Part 5)
• Cry for a Shadow, by Alpacca Joe, a.k.a. thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!)
• Cynic with a Vampire, by Shadow Pumpkinhead, a.k.a. Patrick Moore (Part 1)

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• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Lurker, a.k.a. Lawndale Stalker (continued at last, hooray!): Hot anger washed over the cold knot in Janet Morris's gut. “Nobody calls me a slacker!” she snarled as her foot mashed down on the gas pedal. “No one!”
• Cynic with a Vampire, by Patrick Moore (Part 1): “Is the world ready when a man dates an animated cartoon princess? 'My girlfriend is a cartoon,' on the next Sick, Sad World!”
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Part 1): You would think that in an AU version of "Fire!" in which Jake had a fire extinguisher, things would work out better... but nooooo! Can't wait for the rest!
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by Jtranser (continued): "Sandi, you need to get over to L.A. and have some face time with Stacy. You have to get her back on the original message. You know, the religion we've built around her."
  
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Tiffany struggles through the conspiracy as best she can, and we love her for it.

Somebody Forgot the Bug Spray

No, not really, but TAG did invite me to write for the blog, so here I am.

He said I needed to write something about Daria or Daria fandom. Hmm…something tells me that there's little interest in the important role of entomology in Daria, so I guess I better come up with something else. Since I've been a longtime series writer, how about something simple, like a look at some of my favorite fanfiction series?

In no particular order:

The A.D. Universe by Mr Anonymous

Unseen Phenomenon by Wildgoose

The Driven Wild Universe by Kara Wild

The Lost Seasons by C.E. Forman

The Other Side of Time by The Sidhe

Pause in the Air by The Angst Guy

Though each series is dramatically different from the others, each has a special spark that makes them memorable. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

Oh, and speaking of favorites, don't forget to nominate yours for the 2008 Daria Fanworks Awards. The deadline is 23:59 UT, January 10.

A True Musical Holiday

This is a treat. Today is the anniversary of the birth of two music greats: Elvis Presley and David Bowie. Trent Lane at left does his best Elvis impersonation, and Jane Lane at right does her impersonation of the cover of Bowie's Aladdin Sane album (1973, see link for image). Hooray, Lanes! Hooray, music!

It must be said that if that Aladdin Sane pic went any lower, we would have serious NC-17 issues. That's Jane for you, always on the edge. Oh, and hey: her right ear is NOT pierced!

It should also be noted that MTV artists were often extremely specific in their choice of alter-ego inspiration. Trent is not just "doing Elvis." Trent is doing Elvis during his 1968 TV comeback special. Click the link and you will see why I say that. Jane doesn't do Bowie, she does a particular Bowie album cover. Brittany does Madonna from a specific award-winning video, Stacy does Christina from a specific Rolling Stone cover, etc. Artists are a picky lot, aren't they? These alter egos are more than they seem.

Today is also referenced in a certain Daria fanfic, which you may want to read. I didn't realize before that "bhut" on FF.net was actually "Bacner" on Outpost Daria. Good to see you around, dude!


LATE-BREAKING INTERNET NEWS:

• "Something I don't think I'd regret if I had gotten it, is a duck phone. I don't know if they really exist, but I saw one once in the MTV animated series Daria. Instead of ringing, it quacked." (Tri-City Herald, Kennewick-Pasco-Richland, Washington)
• "My all time favorite cartoon is Daria. It was something about Daria's and Jane's friendship that made it seem as if they were more than just friends." (AfterEllen.com) [Well, duh.]
  
• "Cult series 'Daria' still not on DVD" (Connecticut Herald) [Well, double-duh.]
  

Remember: you saw it here first, maybe!

And today is special in other ways, but more on that later.

But first, this commercial message....

Fresh from the pages of Beavis and Butt-head: Reading Sucks, we have the Abdominal Snowman (yes, yes, I know), using his special Abdominicizer® (as seen on TV!) to keep his abs looking hot for the women of Tibet. Daria appears in the book, so the topic is Daria related. Happy winter!

Also, we have the following new fanfiction, hot off the keyboards.

FF.net

• Daria: The College Years, by Farren O'Blivion (Part 10—continued, hooray!): Trent watches a sunrise just before Mystik Spiral awakens to a new day.
• Daria One Half, by BatLurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Part 4): Daria opened her eyes and glared at the ceiling. She heard noises from downstairs and then people yelling loudly in Japanese. "Oh, what a joy I didn't wake up dead."
  

PPMB

• Arrival, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): No one spoke at first as Quinn walked down the stairs to join them. Helen Morgendorffer seemed to be fighting the tears rolling down her face.
• Invading, by Lorenzo Sauchelli (COMPLETE!): Armalin narrowed his eyes as he read the report about his current pet project. The results were far less satisfactory than what he had expected. He put the folder down and glared daggers at the whimpering scientist in front of him. "Care to tell me again what I just read here?" he said, a menacing finger pointing at the folder.
  
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 3): Tom Sloane stepped off the train that had taken him to Flagstone. True to his letter, he wore his black dress shirt and a small straw hat, along with tan pants. He smiled in anticipation, as he had been looking forward to meeting with his bride since the day she left New Orleans, one month ago.
• Other Side, by Legendeld (Part 3): Crossing universes is not as safe and trouble-free as you might think.
  
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): We are at DEFCON 2! Warning! We are at DEFCON 2! This is not a drill!
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 6 of Chapter 3): “It’s like a train wreck,” said Jane in an awed, hushed voice. “This is… without a doubt… the absolute WORST movie I have ever seen. And I can’t look away.” “I swear, Plan 9 gets better every time you watch it,” said Daria.

Moar l8r. Mebbe a surprise, to0.

They're creepy and they're kooky...

Today marks the 96th anniversary of the birth of famed cartoonist Charles Addams, who gave us The Addams Family: Gomez, Morticia, Lurch, the whole lot. There is a curious link between this franchise and Daria, as Peggy Nicoll (a major Daria screenwriter/staffer and the author of The Daria Database) became a writer for The New Addams Family on TV. The Addams Family (TV show and movies) is referenced a number of times in fanfic. For some reason, dressing up as Morticia Addams is a recurring theme in Halloween stories. Jane dresses up as Morticia in "Daria's Halloween Extravaganza"; Jane refuses to dress up as Morticia in "Trick or Trent." Upchuck is dressed as Morticia in "The Daria Chronicles: Book Learnin'." And, in "Trick or Treat," we have this marvelous exchange about potential Halloween costumes:

Helen: You could have always done Morticia Addams.
Quinn: Why would I want to dress as one of the First Ladies?

Now, that's comedy. Jane as Morticia cries out for fan art.

The alter ego above is a bit like Brittany dressed as Morticia, but it really seems to be Brittany dressed as an opera or musical singer. The pose with the necklace and handkerchief looks familiar, but I cannot place it. Black gowns imply tragedy, but she's smiling. Anyone know more about who Brittany's supposed to be?

[See "Comments" below. JennaUsername, a.k.a. The Dramatic Monarch, figured it out!]

Today is also Saint Distaff's Day. There is no Saint Distaff, which is part of the old joke: it isn't really a holiday, either. It's the day after Epiphany, when medieval women were supposed to start housework again.

A certain fanfic takes place from today through the rest of this month, though it happened four years ago.

ALERT! One of the Ancient Secret Masters of Daria Fandom, A.J., has begun posting mind-blasting secrets from the past on PPMB. Read and be enlightened!

More soon.

Epiphany, Daria style

Today is Epiphany, the Twelfth Day of X (formerly known as Christmas). Epiphany is the kid at Holiday Island High who figures things out long after it would have done him any good, and knows the right retort only after everyone has left the room. (His epiphanies are a little late.)

Epiphany got its start when the Three Wise Guys (see at left) began following a brilliant star (seen at right). After twelve days of begging and pleading with her for a date, she let them take her to Chez Pierre of Lawndalehem, which cost them all the gold they had. (The restaurant would not take frankincense or myrrh as payment because those are plants.)

Epiphany (as a word, not as the holiday) is hard to explain. I looked up a bunch of definitions. They include:

• A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization.
• An usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something.
• An intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking.
• An illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.
• A revealing scene or moment.
• A sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
• A literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

Daria is probably the only TV show ever to make a joke using the word epiphany. From "Jake of Hearts":

• Daria: I may have had a hand in her epiphany.
• Jane: I hope you washed it thoroughly.

Not just any old TV show could pull that one off. Several Daria stories have epiphany in their titles.

• "Epiphany," by Nick Gaston
• "O'Neill's Epiphany," by Bacner
• "The Iron Cynic Series #2: Late Epiphany," by DJW (no longer online except through the WayBack Machine)
  

If you celebrate Epiphany, then you should definitely read these stories today. For religious reasons, of course. And now for something completely different.

Dark Kuno added the latest entry in DariaWiki: This Used To Be My Playground. Thanks! Brother Grimace and Dr. Mike have been doing great work there lately.

The Backgrounders website is attracting attention and comment on PPMB and SFMB. Read and learn.

The great Kemical Reaxion has posted a short comic on SFMB: "Alcohol and Sarcasm." Happy New Year!

Now 1,095 fans in the Daria Fan Club. Wow, that thing has really grown in the last year. Word must have gotten around. It's got a lot of good stuff.

FF.net

• Daria One Half, by Batlurker (Part 3): Jane whistled. "Wow, that's one of the weirdest things I've ever seen."
• Janey on My Mind, by Violent Dyke (COMPLETE!): One day, Jane left. This is what happened afterward.
  

PPMB

• Bettie and Jack at Festivus, by Gene (COMPLETE!): The fandom's first-ever Festivus fanfic! The first fanfic of 2009! And it's a good one! Hooray!
• Daylight LLH: Palmed Cards, by Gouka Ryuu (COMPLETE!): What the Hell were you doing earlier, Gouka? You revealed the existence of Arcana and The Elite to Armalin in practically the same breath!
• King of the Ladies, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Courage, advice, time travel: the things some people need to get a date.
  
• Other Side, by Legendeld (Parts 1 and 2): A steampunk Daria tale... with a bite.

SFMB

• Cybercity Lawndale, by JJXB (Part 14): The street's dark atmosphere lent itself to a horror novel. Daria was getting creeped out, feeling as if she was being watched. “Damn paranoia,” She muttered to herself. (So far, the only cyberpunk Daria tale I know of.)

One Last Minor Topic:

One of the ways I've been using to identify certain students at Lawndale High (for Backgrounders) is by picking out physical details about them, such as (for the males) beards. Some useful charts naming different beard styles are available on the 'net, and I thought I'd pick two of the best of them for those of you with bearded characters in your fanfics. The right words are always better than sort-of-the-right words.

• Beard types 1
• Beard types 2

For whatever it's worth. Enjoy.

Winter Wonderland, Not

Quite a few Daria fanfics take place during January, when high school and college go back into session. A few January-based, school-related tales are given below. Not all are guaranteed to involve snow.

High School Setting

• "Many Are Culled" (TLAS)
• "Victory Lane" (Daria returns after being brainwashed)

College Setting

• "Chosin Fate" (FiC)
• "Art Frieze" (FiC)
• "Refrieze" (FiC)
• "Between the Lines" (FiC)

Other

• "Still Wet by Moonlight" (All My Children)

In other January fandom events, OzDariaCon got its start eight years ago this month. Kara Wild wrote an essay on The Triangle, "The Other Side of the Kiss", six years ago.

Most recent page in DariaWiki: The Devil Deals The Cards (by Dr. Mike). Thanks!

LATE ADD: This was sort of a lame post, but some days are like that.

Andrea says, BEE THERE!

A new website is in the works, and probably will be forever because of all the material that will be going into it. Superfan UU and I have set up Backgrounders, devoted to identifying and fleshing out all of the minor, one-shot, and background characters on Daria. The site is at:

http://www.theangstguy.com/backgrounders/main.html

and is open for business. Keep in mind that we only got it started about a week or two ago, so it needs lots more information, which we are supplying as fast as we can. We're doing Lawndale High School students right now, with adults and others to come later. Comments, questions, corrections, and suggestions are welcome. With any luck, this should expand the range of options for fanfiction characters, which is sorely needed.

Enjoy!

Rarely Visited Corners of the Internet

Just for fun, now and then I go through some of the older Daria websites that are no longer updated to see what was going on in the fandom a decade or so ago. A while ago I looked through Katherine Goodman's alt.lawndale.com site, some of which is still online. (Parts can be retrieved using the WayBack Machine, per the Blasts from the Past section at the bottom of the Daria Directory.) The most interesting parts so far are these:

• Second-season episode guides, with commentary on some eps by Ms. Goodman.
• Andrea's homepage on the Internet (by Ms. Goodman).
• Other student homepages.
  
• A caption contest with some funny responses.
• Loads of makeovers I haven't seen on other sites.

Wish I had been around in the fandom a long time ago. Knowing everything I know now, of course, so I could invest in Microsoft and write everyone else's fanfiction (the good stuff) and claim it for my own, nyah nyah nyah neener neener pthptptpdppptttptptpththth. That would be so awesome.

Interesting that websites used to give each other awards for excellence. Why don't we do that anymore? Probably 'cause everyone grew up. I should make up my own award and give it to the most deserving webmaster, but I would be too embarrassed to take it. Damn modesty.

More later when I can type straight.

Tom and Tolkien

Today being the birthday of J. R. R. Tolkien, I decided to present an alter ego of Tom Sloane as one of the great and terrifying Trolls of Mordor, from The Lord of the Rings. Trolls were feared for their enormous height and great strength, and if you rubbed their colorful hair you could make a wish but nothing would happen except the Troll would eat you. Note that this is also the only alter ego of Tom in which he is completely naked. Now I can understand why Daria wasn't exactly thrilled to sleep with him in season five.

As pointed out earlier, the list of 2008 Daria Written Fanworks is complete. Check it for errors, then nominate for the big one!

Helen Morgendorffer has been accused of many things, but this one has to be the strangest accusation of them all! Thanks, ninetwelve.


FF.net

• Daria One Half, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Parts 1 and 2): This Daria/Ranma 1/2 tale starts off with a little surprise for the Morgendorffer girls from dad Jake.

PPMB

• Arrival, by Legendeld (Part 7): Jane Lane found herself trying to figure out where her life went wrong as she scrapped herself off the floor of the bar. Her head was ringing and she was pretty sure it wasn’t sweat running down her chin.
• Fundamental Daria: I'm With Stupid, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Oh, Jodie Landon, you sneaky little devil you.
• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): Daria, John, and Alison have a threesome in the woods, while Quinn hooks up with an underage male named Link.
  
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 2): Amanda Lane looked down the sight of her shotgun. Her targets were in sight, so she pulled the trigger.
• Order and Chaos, by Legendeld (Part 18): Quinn jumped above the flying metal before flipping in mid air to land behind Darth Bane. Her double bladed attack was blocked as he spun and snarled at her.
• Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have-Who's Holding Daria Now? Some interesting ficlets here, all worth reading.

Spacebabes for Asimov

Renown science writer and science-fiction author Isaac Asimov was born this day 89 years ago in Russia. It would be impossible to list all the books he wrote in this space, as he did over 500 of them, and I could not name all the books he did that I have loved. He was The Man. The Space Babes appear here in his honor.

One character from Daria appears in a fanfic reading a book by Asimov, and one of Asimov's science articles influenced a story that I wrote. Anyone else have an Asimov/Daria tale?


LATE NEWS: The list of 2008 Written Fanworks is complete!

Hello? Hello? Anyone home?

Stayed up too late last night? Too bad. Life rolls on. More to come as the day goes on.

VERY LATE ADD: Back again. Whew!

Have to think of something to post for tomorrow. Have to update fanfiction stories list and get my nominations in for 2008. More shortly.

SHORTLY: Back again.

The 2008 Visual Fanworks Listing is complete! Thanks to the awesome Richard Lobinske! Go out, one and all, and NOMINATE!

TheSecretSharer asks the burning question: Daria's jacket: vinyl or cloth? I don't know why, either, but add your two pfennigs anyway.

Indulged too much last night? Here's a morning-after cure.

She could also be dispensing her latest chemistry project to unwitting test subjects. You never know.

Hope your New Year's Day is a pain-free one.

As Daria would say....

More later. Not home yet. I wrote this all out days ago.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A New Year's Greeting, as only Daria can give!

(click here)